Annyeong! You may call me YeongIn. ^^ This is a 18+ kpop scenario blog, but no one's checkin ID (; Please enjoy the stories I have written in the past, as I am no longer writing anymore.
It's a bit scary to say this and make it sound so formal, but I think it's time for me to say that I probably won't be writing scenarios anymore on this blog. You may have noticed that I haven't been posting as often as I had in the past. It was for a number of reasons (lack of motivation and inspiration, personal issues, family troubles, school, life, etc.), and I find it difficult to keep writing on this blog as a hobby now. I hope you all understand.
I wanted to thank you all for following me and enjoying my writing. Honestly, this blog has done so much for me. When things got rough in my own life, signing onto here and being showered with love and admiration made me feel like I was needed and that I actually made a difference in some people's lives, even if in minor ways. In these last 3 years, I've matured and I'm sure those of you who have followed me since the beginning have also grown in your own ways. This blog allowed some of us to have a dialogue about sexuality, personal issues, writing, and so much more. It was actually very educational and inspiring! I've enjoyed talking to you all and am so thankful to have started this blog. If any of you have even the tiniest desire to write, I encourage you to do it!
PLEASE do not hesitate to message me on my personal blog. And as always, this blog will be here for you. You don't have to worry about me deleting it or changing the name.
For now in my own personal life, I'm getting ready to complete my last year of university. Family issues are still pressing so I'm always busy with responsibilities. I'm planning to go to graduate school in a year to become a licensed clinical psychologist in the future. Life as an adult is indeed a lot of work!
This isn't a goodbye, though! I'll still sign on every so often and maybe someday when the mood strikes me, I may post a drabble or story of some sort. I had many dreams and ideas for this blog. Who knows? Maybe it'll all come to me again in the future. But I needed to make this announcement because the expectations of this blog has been putting a bit of unnecessary pressure on me. I just don't want all of you to wait for something that won't be coming all that soon.
I can't make any promises, and I certainly won't say farewell. I wanted to thank you, and let you know that it has been an absolute pleasure.
Can I ask you something? I had read your great scenario Don't go to work yet, oppa ... and long time ago I had read really similar scenario with Soohyun from U-Kiss - i can't find that now and i'm curious if this with Soohyun was your too maybe? But there was that reader pushed him against the wall and started ... you know ...
Uh, nope. I've never encountered a scenario like that one, and Soohyun wasn't on my mind at the time when I wrote it lol
(Also, try to send asks to my ask blog, plz and thank u ;) )
Hello, how are you? I hope that your day is well and that you have a reason to smile today. I just want to thank you for writing your recent piece. For a long time I have been struggling with mixed emotions about a guy and I have never been able to describe them all without sounding absolutely insane and idiotic. But your scenario wrapped it all up perfectly, and you helped me find the words I've been searching for. I love your writing and will always be a supporter! (sorry this is so long! ><)
No need for apologies! :) I'm really glad it could touch you that way. I've been going through feelings similar to that myself.
Nope. And I don't think I'll be writing one. It was meant to be a one-shot and I can't imagine forming a whole story behind it. But I encourage anyone to pick it up if they want to. :)
Something I wrote about wanting to relive past love. It's not exactly happy, but perhaps you will like it anyway.
The song "Not in Love" by Crystal Castles ft Robert Smith was the inspiration.
Rating: T/F-
There's something very protective about rain. Rain showers are the best because they provide a blanket between you and everything else, shielding you from all the distractions in the world. At night, it was even better. Hardly anyone would desire to step out into rainstorms. It wasn't that you particularly disliked the sight or company of people, but you could appreciate nights like these where you were allowed to sit at the balcony of your apartment and simply enjoy the solitude. You could think or not think leaning against the wooden railing overlooking the empty street. With the sound created from the millions of droplets crashing onto the pavement, not even the wailing sirens in the distant could bring you out from your mind. The glowing streetlights that illuminate the white streaks of rain were kind of beautiful,too. They were easy to follow. Simple. Maybe that's why you liked it so much.
Your thoughts lead to him. Naturally, like the downstream flow of the of water into the drains on the street. From your first time, to your most private memory of watching him sleep in through the early morning. Your fingertips tingled. Maybe it was from the sudden chill or it maybe from the physiological need to touch him.
Your relationship with him had ended for months now. That life that you lead with him seemed so long ago. You couldn't bear to throw out some of the things he left behind at your apartment, like the stained coffee mug he used every morning or the old bath towel that hung on a hook on the back of your bathroom door. Moving the items seemed to make the apartment emptier and it looked wrong when you tried so you had left things the way they were, never bothering thereafter to rid those mundane things despite noticing them everyday and reminding yourself who they had previously belonged to every single day.
I mean, you weren't particularly sad about it all anymore. Life had gone on just the way it had before, there wasn't any time to be sad. But you still wondered. On nights like these, you wondered about him, about what you both were.
The message tone of your phone rung, breaking you out of your trance. You walked in to check it, and your heart skipped a beat. The message read, “I know this is very out of the blue, but can I come over?” Strange. Was this a dream? The scenario was so impossible it had to be a dream. Your ex texting you on a lonely night wanting to visit you.
Instinctively, you texted “Sure.” You did your best to keep your composure and returned to your spot on the balcony.
The relationship you both had had was a comfortable one. The kind where spending the whole day in the apartment meant wandering around in Pjs and taking trips to the local grocery store in each other's clothes if it was convenient. The kind of relationship in which you could both see each other's ugliest flaws outlined in the dark shades underneath your eyes, scraped into the outlines of your jaws and drawn on the shadows of your bodies, and still find each other beautiful. Something had kept you two together all that time, and something had broken it.
You had heard news that he had a new person in his life, but this was old. It didn't sting so much to think about anymore. Not even thoughts of him did.
No sooner you had heard the sloshing of footsteps down the street when you saw him walking towards your building, drenched in the rain as if he had gone out without considering the weather and not giving a damn even after stepping outside. It had been raining all day.
He looked up and you both stared at each other. For a few seconds, neither of you moved. The memories came rushing back in and you had forgotten how to breathe momentarily.
“Can I – Can I come up?” He asked from below. His eyelids blinked constantly to keep the water out of his eyes.
“Yeah,” you answered. You walked down to receive him at the lobby.
The elevator ride down those few levels felt long and drawn out.
5....
4...
Your heartbeat began to accelerate again.
3...
It felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.
2...
Really it did.
1...
The door opened, and there he was. Dripping wet right in front of you, his eyes meeting yours immediately as if he had waited just as impatiently as you had.
“Hey,” he finally said, almost as if he was out of breath.
“Hey,” you echoed.
He walked straight in and you backed up to give him room. His eyes only left yours when he needed to press the button to the fifth floor, but shifted right back to yours immediately after.
“How are you?” he asked. His tone was casual, but his intense stare certainly contradicted his voice.
“I'm fine,” you answered. “How is your girlfriend?”
“She's fine.”
The elevator opened and you both stepped out. Upon reaching your door, you took out your key to unlock your door.
“You still do that thing.” You looked at him questioningly as you pushed open the door. “That thing where you turn the doorknob to the right even though you know you only need to turn it left to open it.”
It surprised you for him to remember such a minor, meaningless detail. But then again, this was something that he would do every once in a while despite how quiet he usually was about his observations.
“Why didn't you use an umbrella?”
“Didn't come to mind, I guess.”
“Wait here,” you told him as he stood by the doorway. You walked to the bathroom and tugged his towel off the hook of the door.
“You still have this?” He took it gently from your hands and swept it through his hair.
“Didn't occur to throw it out, I guess. It was a perfectly fine towel.”
He nodded.
His hair was still dripping from the rain, and you found yourself taking the towel draped around his neck and rubbed it against his hair to dry it out of habit. Like a child, he always did have difficulty drying his hair off properly and he liked the way you used to do it. Only a few seconds later did you realize what you were doing and looked at his eyes staring back at you. They reflected the same expression that they did a months ago. It was longing but apologetic and you weren't really sure what for.
“You're going to catch a cold.” You let the towel fall back onto his body. “Your clothes are still where they used to be. I'll be on the balcony so you can change freely.” You walked off to the place where you were before he came.
After stepping out, you took a deep breath and breathed out. This was actually happening. He was here, and you never thought he'd step through those doors again. It'd be a flat out lie if you were to say that you weren't excited or happy to see him. Your heart was nearly leaping out of your chest. But after months of no communication and with the understanding that he had another person at his side now, you had to wonder why the sudden appearance.
You heard the sliding door pull open behind you and saw him walk out onto the balcony with his old sweatpants and the same towel draped over his bare chest. He walked over to stand next to you, leaning on to the railing with his arms looking out into the quiet night and falling rain.
“I tried to forget you, you know,” he said without looking at you.
“I guess if you're here, that didn't really work out for you,” you answered looking out at the view of the street the same way he did.
“Yeah, not really,” He chuckled and then paused. “It gets especially hard at night. With the rain too and I can't go anywhere. Every time it did rain, I wanted to just run over here. I don't know what made me do it this time for real, but here I am now.” He turned to look at you with a distant smile. “I ran back to you. I needed you more than I thought I did.”
You chuckled this time. Despite the things that had happened between you two, the situation felt so innocent – a bit like child's play. Things had ended months ago and yet you were both here again, in the same place talking about the past without any passionate, burning pain. It was all sort of washed out now. Time must have done it. “Is her warmth not enough for you?”
He turned his body towards you and looked at you in the eyes with conviction. “I'm not in love.” He leaned his face close to yours and whispered against your lips, “We are not in love.”
With one more look into your eyes and finding that you did not back away from the proximity, he pressed his lips to yours gently the way mist meets the surface of flower petals. It was insecurity, apologies, guilt and yearning all in one kiss.
Your hands touched his cheeks with the same kind of tenderness. “We are not in love,” you echoed.
As your lips met each other again, your words and his simply lost all meaning. In the space between you two, all sense of time and memories were absorbed by the rain where the meaning of words were stolen by the droplets of water that fell to the ground and wound its way into the darkness. You pushed him against the wall and kissed him like you hadn't in years and his arms pulled you against him as closely as he could bring you. Whatever space there was between your bodies evaporated in that moment.
“I've missed you,” he breathed. “It's cold outside. It always felt better to be with you.”
You held his face and pulled him down to you so that your foreheads rested against each other. His eyes were closed. “You can come home, you know,” you murmured, burning your gaze into his eyelids shut with hesitation. “You can come home where it's always warm.”
“We both know that I don't belong there anymore.” His eyes opened, and in them, you saw that same jumble of emotions before he closed them again.
You kissed his eyelids, hoping that it would ease that pain away within himself and also within you. “We are not in love,” you repeated.
To say that you were not in love made perfect sense. With the end of your relationship with him months ago, love ended too. But in a strange way, feeling his presence this close against you was somehow right too. What was missing finally felt like it was returned to you, but not in its entirety. Nor will it ever be returned in full. You could both wrap your bodies the way that they used to, attempt to recite old lines from your past love story, dig and dig through each other hoping to recover what was once there and still come back empty-handed. And that's the thing with time. It can heal you, but it comes with a price. You can never go back to the way things were; it rids the pain and erases the possibility of the same kind of happiness. And rain? Rain freezes time for a while.
But as you held each other close, feeding off of each other's warmth in hopes of dispelling the cold that had overtaken your hearts, you saw the rain and remembered that even rain did not last forever.
I wrote a little something. Unfortunately, it's not smutty or cutesy. But I feel like it was worth posting anyway. It'll be up soon. I have it queued.
I also wanted to take the time to say that I'm ending the Coffee Shop series where it is now. I deleted the last few lines so that it ends neatly lol. Some of you will probably be kinda annoyed about that, but it I wanted to leave it the way it was instead of going back and re-writing the whole thing. The series didn't achieve what I had originally wanted, so I may try and rewrite another series based around the idea of coffee, but that has yet to be determined.
I've been stuck in a real bad writer's block (for almost a year!) so that's why it's taken me so long to update with anything. Sorry about that. T_T
I think I've said so before, but I'm no longer calling my writing scenarios... One of the reasons why I started this blog was to improve my writing and I will try to do that but by expanding what I write about so it won't be so restricted. I really don't know what future writing will include, but I just wanted you guys to be aware of it. If I don't write for myself anymore, there would be no way I could keep writing anything on this blog! Besides, by now, it seems scenario writing has really taken off. So many new, talented writers! I feel like I don't stand a chance. Haha ^ ^;;
Anyways, I hope that I can write a lot more this summer considering I'm probably going to have a lot more free time, but with such a terrible block, I have no idea what will happen. -_-
In the mean time, please talk to me on my ask blog! I'd prefer it if you guys sent me messages through there. :)
I just finished my finals and got home a day ago... Please give me some more time. @__@ Haven't had much opportunity to really think about scenario-writing with all the stuff happening right now, but I'm mentally prepping to return with something.
If you guys actually missed ME (as opposed to just my scenarios) though, I answer all my asks pretty quickly on my ask blog, so feel free to chat with me there!
Signing on briefly to acknowledge I've received some messages from some of u asking when I'll be back. Lol been a while hasnt it? How are u guys? :DI've been busy with school. Same ol same ol. I'll be returning with new scenarios hopefully when my summer vacation comes around mid-May. A ton of you want a wolf scenario sequel. I've been playing with some ideas. I also need to rewrite my Coffee Shop series because I've been noticing some big and minor mistakes. These are all just ideas any way. I need some time to plan out my stories better especially if I'll be writing series. Lol I want my writing to be better written and more thoughtful than my first scenarios! Hope you're all doing well. ^^ I'll chat with y'all in May. Miss you guys a lot <33 Be well!!!!
For those of you who don't know I'm currently studying abroad in Korea right now. :) I'll get to writing again when I feel more settled and have more time on my hands. I'm only doing a semester here.
Thank you for sending me messages! They always manage to put a smile on my face ^ ^ I'll answer them when I start writing again :) Thanks for continuing to follow me
If you put all your amazing short stories into a book I would definitely buy it! I love the way you write everything it's just so descriptive and it feels like you draw the reader right into the story. It's so great!
Sigh~ This is one of my dreams, to make enough material to make a book. ~_~ Thank you for the love!
I just want to say that you've shown me what to really expect from love and what to wish and hope for. I had no idea what love was before your coffee shop series, and not just love, but a relationship worth while, where it's not just physical. It's hard to explain within a character limit, but I hope you understand. Your writing has changed me and my views for the better, and for that I thank you. You saved me from making future mistakes in love and wasting time on the wrong people. Thank you!
My goodness, this message... my heart...
I am so touched that my stories could do that for you. I totally understand what you mean, and I think it is wonderful that you think your views have changed for the better. Though the physical should be as important as you want it to be, it should never be the only thing driving the relationship! I've learned that from my past experiences.
While my stories do seem to have affected you, I do want to remind you that they are fiction. It's a love story I've created, so I want you to make your own wonderful stories and to experience them yourself! That's the best way to know what you want to wish and hope for. :)
