Deepspace Dispatch

LADS Fanfic, Cosplay, Discussion and more... ko-fi

[deepspacedispatch]

About Me

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ🖤ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

✧30 - She/Her

✧Sylus is my mafia man <3

✧Requests are CLOSED! I will likely re-open them in July but con season is upon us.

✧Also working on too many LADS cosplay and will be updating progress here

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M-List

Flufftober M-List

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[ayamikasai]

Valko

I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE VALKO PACK

AWOOOOOOOOOOO 🐺

[deepspacedispatch]

Hello! Me again😭 practically live in your inbox... I hope its okay... I would want to read about insomniac MC and Xavier. Lately due to hypomania I just... I go to sleep at 4am but wake up at 6am, or sleep at 2am and wake up at 4am. Its frustrating, and even more frustrating if we add nightmares i started to get. I just cant seem to sleep more than 2 hours and I wonder how Xavie would react to it

Thank you for doing so much for my requests, have a nice day! Sending kudos

Thank you for another request! It makes me happy to see you so frequently in my inbox. Please enjoy!

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Xavier:

Xavier had always been able to fall asleep almost anywhere. On the couch, in the backseat of the Linkon subway, even sitting upright during long missions. It was one of the many things you envied about him.

Tonight was no different. The two of you climbed into bed just after midnight, exhaustion lingering after a particularly tough mission. Within minutes, his breathing had evened out.

Meanwhile, you rolled onto your left side, then your right. You fluffed your pillow, kicked the blankets off, pulled them back over yourself, closed your eyes, and opened them again. You checked the clock. 1:47.

With a quiet sigh, you rolled over again. Maybe if you laid on your back. No. Your side. No. You stared at the ceiling, your thoughts refusing to slow. Every time you felt yourself drifting, you startled awake again.

Eventually, you gave up. Trying your best not to disturb Xavier, you reached for your phone on the bedside table. The soft glow lit the room, and you'd barely unlocked it when a sleepy voice murmured beside you.

"Can't sleep?"

You looked over. Xavier was blinking at you, his hair messy, eyes still heavy with sleep.

"I'm sorry," you whispered immediately. "Go back to sleep."

Instead of answering, he pushed himself up onto one elbow. "You've been awake this whole time?"

You hesitated. "...Yeah."

Concern replaced the last bit of sleep in his expression. "When is the last time you got a full night of sleep?"

You shrugged. "A while ago, I don't know. Don't remember."

"You don't remember?"

You looked down at your phone. "I don't know...weeks? Maybe longer."

Xavier frowned. "How much have you been sleeping?"

You laughed quietly. "Depends."

He waited, brows furrowed.

"Usually...two hours." His expression didn't change, so you added, "...Sometimes less, maybe a little more." You waited for him to respond but when he didn't, you elaborated. "I wake up after a couple of hours, sometimes I can't fall asleep at all." You forced a small smile. "I've kind of accepted that's just how it is."

Xavier's brows drew together. "No."

His simple rejection caught you off guard "No?"

"You don't have to accept that."

You looked away. "I don't really know what else to do."

He reached over, gently taking the phone from your hands before setting it back on the bedside table. Then he turned the screen off completely, and the room fell into darkness once more.

"You should've told me."

"I didn't want to keep you awake."

He looked genuinely puzzled. "So instead you've been awake by yourself?"

You didn't have an answer for that.

Xavier sighed softly before opening his arms. "Come here."

You blinked. "What?"

"You're cold."

"I'm not."

"You are."

There was no arguing with him when he used that tone. Slowly, you scooted closer until he wrapped both arms around you. His chin rested lightly on top of your head.

For several minutes, neither of you spoke. The silence felt different. It wasn't lonely like the last few weeks.

Finally, Xavier interrupted it. "Nightmares?"

You nodded against his chest. "Sometimes."

"And the rest of the time?"

"I just..." Your voice broke. "I can't get my brain to stop."

His hand slowly rubbed up and down your back. "You've been carrying this by yourself for too long."

A lump in your throat made it difficult to swallow. "I didn't want to be difficult."

"You aren't."

His answer came quickly. "You deserve sleep."

His fingers threaded gently through your hair. "And until you get it..." He held you a little closer. "you don't have to spend your nights awake alone."

You listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, his breathing, the warmth surrounding you. For the first time in what felt like forever, you weren't lying awake counting the hours. You were simply resting.

Sleep didn't come immediately. It still took time. Another hour passed, maybe even two. But Xavier didn't say anything, never let go. Even as his own eyelids grew heavy again, he continued tracing slow circles across your back.

Sometime before dawn, your thoughts finally quieted. Your breathing evened out. The last thing you felt before sleep claimed you was Xavier pressing a gentle kiss against your hair.

When he heard your breathing deepen, a small smile tugged at his lips. "Good," he whispered. "There you are."

And with you sound asleep in his arms, he finally let himself drift back to sleep, too.

[luvndeepspace]

I hope the Voice actor for Valko gets a huge pay out for Infold breaking his contract by firing him. And may he go on to do bigger better things.

[cherry-burst]

Is this how the LIs felt when MC died in their arms?

[deepspacedispatch]

a few more thoughts on this who Valko thing before I go to sleep and dream of the vampire, werewolf threesome I was denied.

If you haven't yet, please unfollow all official love and deepspace social media. I have had the pleasure of watching their insta fall from 1mil to 973k and I know we can do so much more

There are two petitions going around to bring valko back, please sign both of them! ipetition change

Please consider not spending any money in lads in July. imo this is going to make the biggest impact on infold. We need to let them see that revenue drop, they need to understand that what they have taken from us will make an impact on them, too

finally, even if you weren't excited for Valko or weren't planning on pursusing him, think about all the people who were excited. take a moment to understand that this is affecting so many people and ending something that was so special to them. I love lads, I love Sylus so much, it hurts my heart that I may never play this game again, but I cannot turn a blind eye to this. and think about the voice actors, the artists, the developers, the cosplayers, all of these people who have put so much into his creation that are now being treated like shit. think of the people who are losing their jobs because of this. We cannot sit and do nothing

thank you for listening to my tedtalk. please do anything on this list and it will mean so much to me and so many other players.

if you want to share any thoughts, I will open my ask box and we can continue the conversation.

#bringvalkoback

[kaokaoriii]

We love you Valko

He will come home ૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა

[ghostlyleech]

They rly bought lads players a new puppy n when we had our backs turned brought him out back, shot him, went back inside n told us our sibling didnt like him so he had to go

[gelira]

Y‘all I don’t usually post something but this situation feels so unfair I feel like I also want to speak up about it.

1: how INCREDIBLY disrespectful to the people who worked on him. Artists, voice actors, storywriters, idea-havers, even department heads and whatever- even the cosplayers who were gonna cos him at the upcoming events.

2: they‘re choosing hate over love. In a romance game. with a story about love, and choosing love.

3: they‘re letting the haters win. they‘re rewarding the bad behaviours, the loud and hateful voices. i am aware of cultural differences and i feel like there is more behind this that led them to do this, like people threatening to report them to the government or whatever. or incredibly bad decision of one person in charge maybe. but hate should win in NO culture!! never!!!!

4: there’s people who love him already and were excited for him (me included). the people who hate on him and led to this development are so incredibly selfish, egoistic, and lack respect. Oh yea you can‘t fathom someone liking a character you dislike? grow up and be better.

5: even if infold rebukes their decision, this is gonna stay as a negative memory in the fandom. it broke trust, it broke hearts and enthusiasm. i dare argue it broke immersion, too, because a lot of us realised they can (and will!) just take a love interest from us because someone told them to.

6: even IF they rebuke it (which i genuinely hope for because I want the work people put in him to be displayed, I want justice for the artists and for his fans) CN girlies are gonna be freaking out about it EVEN MORE because then they went back on their word AGAIN. better to just release him to EU/USA at this point prob. give him to us international fans, even if you‘re not gonna put in further development. i want to meet him!!!

7: i‘ve made this point before but they‘re choosing to listen to hate!! instead of love!!! people are gonna complain either way. it‘s already figured out that it‘s better to just stick to your truth, no?

editing point 8 because i feel like i want to end this on a better note: i hope we as a fandom can keep him alive either way. i hope infold doesn’t keep artistry and hard work from us just because of hate. i hope hope hope we as a fandom can still make headcanons and love him and cherish him. i hope i can actually meet him in the future!

here‘s my headcanon: i think he‘d smell like wet dog when it rains and i feel like he‘d shake his whole body puppy-like after a shower so you‘re soaked as well. yea.

Yea i forgot about 10 more points. Sorry for being so emotional about this but this game has been my emotional comfort space for about a year now and I am angry, sad, and hurt about this development. Also: this is a safe space for the lads girlies and fans! If you want to complain, vent, comment, do it.

Thanks for letting me vent. c:

[mwphisto]

Never ask a JJK fan what happened September 25th 2023? Nah. Never ask a LADs fan what happened June 30th 2026.

[lyonelwhoretent]

Remember to put that you what valko back in ur surveys for love and deepspace.

[lyonelwhoretent]

Mc losing Valko is like Orpheus losing Eurydice.

[sylvst]

THE WAY I JUST GOT TO SEE THEM LOSE THEIR 1M IN REAL TIME WAS THE MOST SATISFYING THING EVEERRRRRR !!!

Keep unfollowing !!

Keep signing the petitions !!

Keep commenting !!

Keep emailing !!

MAKE THEM HEAR US !!

[deepspacedispatch]

update~

Hey friends,

I just wanted to post something about this whole Valko situation happening rn. I am genuinely so mad at infold for his removal and do not what this means for my future of playing the game and engaging with related content.

I understand that there are many, many people who were very vocally opposed to Valko's introduction. Where I do admit there are frustrations within the game involving what is available to ftp player, the main story updates being few and far between and Sylus (and Caleb) missing so much content compared to the others. However, I was genuinely excited for the introduction of Valko, I loved his dorkiness, his appearance, his va, etc...

I am devastated that he is no longer going to be introduced, and I am trying my best to understand everything that has lead to this, including but not limited to the opposal of his appearance, the lack of updates in this update, even the reference to 731 in game and how that is so problematic. But I still don't think this is the right solution.

Please enlighten me if there are more things I am missing. Please let me know how you feel about these changes.

All of that being said, I will 100% complete the fic requests that are still in my inbox, but I do not know if I will open requests in the future.

[deepspacedispatch]

If it's alright to ask, i wanted to see how you think the boys help a reader/mc who has benign tremors.

It's exactly what it sounds like, my body/hands shake, and i can't control it. While I haven't been diagnosed, my ma has and I've inherited it from her. My hands/body shakes even if I'm not particularly afraid or anxious (and I am an anxious person)

It does make life a little hard. Sometimes I just cannot get my hands to be still enough to really do anything. Getting water? Someone else better hold the cup, typing is always difficult.

Though when I get sick or im anxious or tired, then I be shaking like some wet and cold chihuahua, seems very dramatic.

Hopefully this isn't too specific, I've not seen anyone write about it before..least j dont think so.

Either way, thanks for taking the time tk read this

Hello! Thank you for the request! I can't imagine what it's like to have benign tremors and the difficulty it must bring to what feel like they should be simple tasks, but I know the lads men would take great care of you.

This also hits a little close to home because my family has a history of Parkinson's and it makes me afraid of the future sometimes.

I hope you enjoy!

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Xavier:

You had noticed it getting worse.

At first, it was little things. A cup rattling in your hands. Struggling to fasten a button. Taking longer than usual to type out reports.

Then it started affecting your missions.

Some days, you could barely keep your firearm steady.

You hadn't told anyone, especially not Xavier. You didn't want to say it out loud because then it would become real. The thought had been eating away at you for weeks.

What kind of Hunter can't even hold their weapon steady?

The two of you were in the middle of a mission when it happened again. A Wanderer appeared from the shadows, and instinctively, you raised your gun.

Your hands shook.

Not enough to drop it, but enough. Enough that the sight wouldn't stay still and your finger froze on the trigger.

Xavier looked over, concerned. He didn't say anything at first. Then, quietly he asked, "It's not a good day?"

The words struck something deep inside you, and your shoulders immediately tensed, and you shook your head in denial.

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I said I'm okay." You shouted, louder than intended.

Xavier looked at you for a long moment before nodding once.

The Wanderer moved again. You raised your gun. Your hands trembled harder. You couldn't do it. You couldn't pull the trigger.

"No, no no nono." you muttered quietly to yourself panic flooding your chest.

The Wanderer lunged.

A burst of light flashed beside you. Then another. A few seconds later, the area fell silent.

Xavier had taken care of it.

You couldn't breathe. Your hands were shaking worse now, and the gun suddenly felt like it weighed 100lbs.

Then your hands gave out entirely. It slipped from your grasp and hit the ground.

The sound echoed loudly in the silence.

You stared at it, then at your hands. And suddenly, you couldn't stop the tears.

"What if this is it?" you whispered.

Xavier's looked at you gently, raising his eyebrow slightly, a silent ask for you to elaborate.

"What if I can't do this anymore?" Your voice cracked. "What if I can't be a Hunter?"

He stepped toward you slowly.

"You don't know that."

"But what if I can't even hold my weapon anymore?"

The tears came faster, the shaking spreading throughout your whole body.

"I've worked for this my whole life. I've never known another dream."

Xavier was quiet for a moment, as though he was trying to chose the write words. Instead, he gently took your trembling hands in his.

"They're shaking."

You let out a bark of a laugh.

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

A small smile tugged at his lips before it faded again.

"But they're still your hands."

You looked up at him.

"You know there are Hunters who don't use firearms." He started gently. "There are different weapons. Different specialties. Different positions within the agency."

"But..." You interrupted, but he raised his hand to quiet your protests.

"You aren't at the end of your story. You don't have to decide your future today."

His thoughtfulness surprised you and more tears streaked down your cheeks. "What if everything changes?"

Xavier's thumbs brushed your cheeks softly, wiping away the tears, a reassuring smile on his face."Then we'll figure out what comes next."

You looked at him."We?"

"Of course."His answer came so easily that it made your chest ache.

"So what if your hands shake?" he said softly. "You're still strong. You're still capable."

Another tear fell.

"And you're still the person I love." He whispered, pulling you close. "A little shaking doesn't change any of that."

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Zayne:

You had tried to ignore it. Every time your hands shook a little more than usual, every time you struggled to button your shirt or spilled your coffee, you told yourself it was just because you were tired. But then it started happening on missions, and then it started getting worse.

You knew benign tremors ran in your family. You also knew that benign didn't always make something easy to live with.

When Zayne noticed your hands trembling while you were trying to sign a report, he didn't say anything. Not then. Instead, a week later, he quietly asked, "Will you come to the hospital with me tomorrow?"

You looked at him. "Why?"

"I'd like to run a few tests."

You sighed. "I knew this was coming."

He reached over, gently taking your hand before it could disappear into your lap. "I don't want to frighten you."

"You already have."

His thumb brushed absently over your knuckles. "I want answers."

You did, too, so you went.

Bloodwork. Neurological exams. Questions that seemed endless. By the time the last appointment was over, you were exhausted.

Zayne sat beside you in his office, reviewing the results one final time before setting the file down. He looked up. "It's nothing. It's benign."

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding. "So..."

"So," he repeated softly, "everything points to benign tremors."

You searched his face. "You're sure?"

"I'm as sure as I can be."

There was a quiet moment, while you registered the news.

"But they're getting worse."

"They may."

Your heart sank, and he immediately reached for your hand. "They may also stabilize. Symptoms can fluctuate, especially with stress, fatigue, illness, or caffeine."

You looked down at your intertwined hands. "So... I just have to live with it?"

"For now."

The words stung more than you expected. "I hate it."

"I know."

"I can't even hold a cup some days."

His grip tightened slightly, careful not to hurt you. "I know."

Tears clouded your eyesight. "What if it keeps getting worse?"

Zayne was quiet for a moment. "I can't promise you it won't change."

The honesty hurt, but somehow, it was comforting too.

"What I can promise," he continued, "is that if it does, we'll adapt. We'll find ways to make everyday tasks easier. We'll adjust your treatment if new options become available. If you ever need another opinion, I'll find the best specialist."

His expression softened. "And if one day this becomes more than benign..." He gently lifted your hand, pressing a kiss against your trembling fingers. "I'll be beside you every step of the way."

The tears finally spilled over. "I don't want to become a burden."

Zayne frowned at the thought. "You won't."

He held your gaze with the same quiet certainty he always carried. "Your hands may shake." His thumb brushed gently across your knuckles. "But they still hold mine."

A small, laugh escaped you as you squeezed his hand tighter. "And I have no intention of letting go."

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Rafayel:

You had been watching Rafayel paint for nearly an hour. His brush danced effortlessly across the canvas, each stroke deliberate and confident, as though he'd already seen the finished piece long before the paint ever touched it.

It was beautiful.

He was beautiful.

Everything he created had this elegance you couldn't describe.

Without thinking, you looked down at your own hands. They were trembling again, so you curled them into your lap. "You know," you said quietly, "if your hands shook like mine do...you wouldn't be able to do this."

Rafayel hummed distractedly, still painting, until your words fully registered in his head. His brush went still, and the room fell silent. Slowly, he set it aside and turned to look at you. "Is that what's been bothering you?" he asked.

You laughed quietly. "I mean...look at you." You gestured toward the canvas. "Your hands are your livelihood. If they shook like mine..." Your voice faltered. "You'd lose everything."

Rafayel simply stared at you with a look you didn't know how to describe. Then he smiled so gentle. "Cutie." He stood and crossed the room until he was kneeling in front of you. "You've misunderstood me."

You frowned. "If my hands started shaking tomorrow..." He looked down at them, turning them over thoughtfully. "...I'd probably have to paint differently. I might paint bigger canvases, or switch to sculpting. Maybe I'd use charcoal. Maybe I'd learn something completely new." He shrugged. "I'd still create. My hands don't make me an artist. I do."

The words settled over you and his gaze found yours. "So why," he asked softly, "have you decided that your hands get to decide who you are?"

His question caught you off guard as you pondered your response. "I..." you started, but he shook his head gently.

"You are so much more than the way your body moves." His hands found yours, his thumbs brushing lightly over your trembling fingers. "You think I look at these hands and see something broken? I see the hands that reach for mine. The hands that make tea when I'm working too late." He gave your fingers a gentle squeeze. "The hands that hold my face."

Tears welled in your eyes. "I don't even notice that they're shaking." He admitted.

"You don't?"

"No." He leaned forward, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. "I only notice that they're yours."

The tears came then, and he smiled as he wiped one away with his thumb. "And if one day they shake a little more..." His forehead rested lightly against yours. "...I'll still think they're the most beautiful hands I've ever held."

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Sylus:

It wasn't the first thing that had gone wrong that day.

Your hands had been shaking since you woke up. You'd struggled to button your shirt, nearly dropped your toothbrush, and by the time you got home that evening, your nerves were frayed from pretending none of it bothered you.

Still, you told yourself you were fine.

Until the bottle.

You stood in the kitchen, twisting at the cap with both hands. Nothing. You adjusted your grip and tried again. Nothing. A third time. Then a fourth.

Your hands trembled harder with every failed attempt, and frustration built in your chest. With a sharp breath, you slammed the bottle onto the counter.

"Fuck."

The word came out harsher than you intended, and before you knew it, tears were spilling down your cheeks.

It wasn't about the bottle. It was never about the bottle. It was every cup you'd spilled, every button you'd struggled with, every mission where your hands shook just a little too much, and every quiet fear that one day, your body would stop cooperating altogether.

The front door clicked open.

Sylus stepped inside and immediately stopped when he saw you standing in the kitchen. His eyes flicked to your face, then to the unopened bottle. Without a word, he walked over, picked it up, twisted the cap free with one hand, and set it back on the counter before sitting beside you.

You stared at the bottle and he stared at you, taking in the flush on your face, the tears in your eyes.

Finally, he spoke. "That wasn't just about the bottle."

The tears came harder. You laughed through them, shaking your head. "No."

You buried your face in your hands. "I'm so tired."

His hand came to rest on your knee. "I know."

"What if it keeps getting worse?" you whispered. "What if one day I can't do anything by myself anymore?"

He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he reached over and gently took one of your trembling hands in his.

"If tomorrow your hands shook twice as much..." His thumb brushed slowly across your knuckles. "...I'd open twice as many bottles."

You looked up at him. His expression was calm, unwavering.

"If they shook so much you couldn't tie your shoes..." A faint smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. "I'd tie them."

"If holding a cup became difficult...I'd hold it."

Your lip trembled. "I don't want to need help."

His gaze softened. "You won't need help."

You frowned, a puzzled look flashed across your eyes.

"You'll have me. You've convinced yourself that accepting help means you've lost something." He intertwined his fingers with yours. "I don't see it that way."

You stared at your joined hands.

"I see someone I love."

His grip tightened. "Your hands don't carry this relationship."

Your eyes met his crimson ones.

"We do." Sylus leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "When that day comes, if it ever comes, we'll face it together."

Then, with the smallest smile, he nudged the now-open bottle toward you. "Drink your water, sweetie."

Despite the tears still clinging to your lashes, despite your still trembling hands, you laughed, feeling a peace you didn't know you were capable of.

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Caleb:

Caleb couldn't remember a time your hands didn't shake.

When you were little, he'd hold your juice box while you pushed the straw through the foil. Your hands never seemed to stay still long enough to do it yourself.

As you got older, he learned the signs.

If you were sick, they got worse. If you were tired, he'd carry your tray in the cafeteria before you even asked. If you were anxious, he'd quietly take your drink without making a fuss, then hand it back once you'd both sat down.

He had never thought it was a burden, because it was just you.

So when you showed up at his apartment one evening and were unusually quiet, he knew something was wrong.

"Pips?" he asked gently.

You smiled, but it didn't quite reach your eyes.

"I'm okay."

He didn't believe you for a second.

You disappeared into the kitchen while he finished putting away groceries. A moment later, he heard something clatter against the counter.

By the time he rounded the corner, you were staring at a mug lying on its side, tea pooling across the countertop.

Your hands trembled violently.

"I've got it," you whispered, reaching for a towel.

Caleb caught your wrist before you could.

"I've got it."

He grabbed the towel and wiped up the spill.

"I'm sorry," you said immediately, voice higher than normal.

"For what?"

"I keep making you do everything."

He looked up, genuinely confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Cleaning up just now, carrying drinks, opening things...The list goes on forever" Your voice cracked. "You've been helping me my whole life."

"Yeah."

"You shouldn't have to."

He frowned.

"Says who?"

"I hate that you always have to take care of me."

Caleb set the towel down and walked over to you. Carefully, he took both of your trembling hands in his.

"Pipsqueak." His voice was so soft and gentle it made your chest ache.

"I've seen you at your best." His thumbs brushed over your knuckles. "I've seen you at your worst."

You looked down.

"I've seen you shake so hard you couldn't hold a spoon when you had the flu."

The smallest smile graced your lips at the memory.

"And I've seen you take down Wanderers that would've sent other Hunters running."

You slowly lifted your head to meet his gaze.

"So don't stand here and tell me your hands are all I should see."

You shook your head, thinking about the future, what was yet to come. "What if they get worse?" You wondered aloud.

He smiled softly.

"Then I'll open more jars."

You laughed.

"I'll carry more drinks."

Another laugh.

"I'll button your jacket when your fingers don't want to cooperate."

His smile grew warmer.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do."

You searched his face.

"Doesn't that scare you? Having me be completely dependent on you."

"Not even a little." He answered quickly, without hesitation.

"Because no matter what your hands decide to do," He leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. "I'll still get to love my Pips."

He wrapped his arms around you without another word.

"You've spent your whole life worrying that your tremors would make people leave," he murmured.

He held you a little tighter.

"They've never made me take a single step back."

[deepspacedispatch]

Hello! How are you doing? Ive came up with sweet idea of first sleepover when Xavier finds out something precious about the MC. Turns out she mumbles in her sleep, something, like "cover yourself with blanket properly", or "aren't you cold?"

I wonder how he would react to that and her snuggling really closely and whimpering/whining quietly in her sleep if theres at least some single discomfort: harsh pillow, uncomfortable position, noise from neighbors, sunlight. Thank you in advance, its an idea i got suddenly

Thank you for another request! I hope you enjoy! Take care!

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ🖤ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

The sleepover had not gone according to plan.

The two of you had intended to watch a movie. Instead, somewhere around the halfway mark, you had fallen asleep with your head resting against Xavier's shoulder.

Not wanting to wake you, he had simply carried you to bed.

The room was quiet, the soft glow of the moon spilling through the curtains. Beside him, you slept peacefully, curled beneath the blankets.

Then, you frowned and a tiny whine escaped you.

Xavier looked over doing his best not to disturb your sleep.

You shifted in your sleep, tugging the blanket higher. Then, in a sleepy mumble, you whispered,

"...cmmrr snds dmsm."

He blinked, trying to decipher your mumbles and checking if you had woken up.

A few moments passed.

"...You'll get cold."

Xavier stared at you, surprised. You were asleep and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Even unconscious, you were worrying about someone else.

As if sensing his gaze, you shifted again. This time, you pulled yourself closer. Then even closer, until your forehead bumped lightly against his shoulder.

You made another quiet noise. The pillow, apparently, was no longer to your liking.

Xavier's smile widened. Carefully, he adjusted his position.

Almost immediately, you sighed happily and tucked yourself against his side, one hand curling into the fabric of his shirt.

"There we go," he murmured softly.

You made a small, content sound. Then, after a long moment, you mumbled again.

"...Warm."

He had to hold back a laugh, realizing you probably had no idea you did this.

A few minutes later, a car passed outside, its headlights briefly illuminating the room.

You frowned. Another tiny whimper.

Then, with all the strength you could muster in your sleep, you buried your face against his chest.

Xavier froze.

You sighed happily once more.

Apparently, he was being used as both a pillow and a shield from the light.

He didn't mind. Not even a little.

Carefully, he pulled the blankets higher around you. Almost immediately, your hand found his, holding it against your chest.

"...Don't be cold," you mumbled.

The words were so soft he almost missed them.

For someone who claimed to sleep terribly, you seemed determined to make sure everyone around you was comfortable.

Even in your dreams.

Xavier looked down at you for a long moment before gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

"I won't," he whispered.

You hummed softly in response, as if satisfied with his answer.

The room fell quiet once more.

[deepspacedispatch]

Hi again 😅😅 im so sorry for a big amount of requests, but if its okay imma ask another one. How would Raf&Xav react to a Reader who masks her emotions with them? When shes too low she jokes more than she usually does, but the difference between her usual self and masked sadness (when she acts *too* happy) is too striking. Maybe they notice the difference, or red puffy eyes, or new scars.

I really enjoy your writing, thank you so much for your work

Hello again! I hope you are doing well! No need to apologize for the number of requests, I love seeing you in my inbox! Please enjoy!

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Xavier:

Xavier always knew when something was wrong, usually before you even knew yourself.

You had been talking almost nonstop since he'd arrived at your apartment. You joked about your mission, joked about the weather, even joked about burning your dinner. You laughed at everything.

He sat beside you on the couch, listening quietly as you rambled on about something that had happened earlier that day. Then you laughed again.

But it sounded wrong, it was too high, almost forced.

The smile reached your lips but never your eyes. Slowly, he looked you over and noticed they were a little red, as though you had been crying.

"You've been making a lot of jokes tonight."

You smiled. "What? Am I not funny anymore?"

"You are," he reassured.

You grinned. "Good. I was worried."

Xavier didn't smile back.

As the room grew quiet, and you immediately filled the silence.

"You know, if this whole Hunter thing doesn't work out, maybe I could become a comedian..."

"Why are you so sad?"

The words stopped you and it took a moment for you to respond. "What?"

"You're sad."

You looked away while shaking your head. "No, I'm not."

"You are."

His voice remained gentle, but there was something unmovable in it. You opened your mouth to argue, but then his hand covered yours.

"You don't have to pretend with me."

The words made your chest tighten. You laughed again, weaker this time.

"I'm not pretending."

"You haven't looked at me once since I got here."

Your breath caught, surprised he had noticed.

"You've been smiling all night, but it never reaches your eyes." Silence settled between you before he added softly, "And you keep making jokes every time the room gets quiet, like you can't handle the silence."

Your vision blurred with tears. You hadn't even realized you were doing it.Xavier's expression softened.

"You don't have to be okay all the time."

You covered your face with your hands, embarrassed. A moment later, you felt his arms around you, careful, gentle, like he was holding something fragile.

"I don't know how to stop pretending," you whispered.

He rested his cheek against your hair, and you looked up at him.

"You don't have to be anything tonight." His hand stroked gently over your back. "You can just be sad."

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Rafayel:

You had made him laugh three times in the last ten minutes. Normally, that would have been a good thing. Instead, it made him worry.

You were talking faster than usual, smiling wider than usual, teasing him more than usual. It was too much. Rafayel knew your real smiles, and this wasn't one of them.

He watched you from across the room as you launched into another ridiculous story. Then he noticed it.

You hadn't touched your drink once.

Normally, you'd absentmindedly sip it while talking, tracing circles along the rim of the glass or stealing a sip between jokes. Tonight, it sat untouched in front of you.

And your hands...

You kept tugging your sleeves down. Every few minutes, you'd pull at the fabric again, as if making sure it stayed in place.

The smile on your face suddenly looked painfully fragile.

"...Cutie."

You looked up immediately. "Hm?"

"Come here."

You blinked. "But I'm in the middle of telling you something."

"I know." He patted the space beside him. "Come here anyway."

You hesitated before sitting beside him.

For a moment, he simply looked at you. Then he gently took your hand.

You stiffened as his thumb brushed over your knuckles before he carefully tugged your sleeve back just enough to reveal a few fresh marks hidden beneath it.

His expression softened immediately.

"Oh, cutie..."

You quickly tried to pull your hand away, but he didn't let you.

"It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing to me?"

You looked away, pulling your arm away quickly.

"It really is."

"You've been hiding your hands all night." His voice was gentle. "And you haven't touched your drink once."

Your breath caught, surprised he noticed so much.

"You always do when you're comfortable."

Silence settled between you. Then, softly, he added, "Something happened."

Your eyes stung.

"I'm fine."

"You've made six jokes in five minutes."

You blinked. "...Was it six?"

"It was six."

Despite yourself, a small laugh escaped you.

Rafayel's smile softened.

"There you are."

Your eyes widened.

"There's your real laugh."

The tears came almost immediately after, and you covered your face, mortified.

"I didn't want to ruin tonight."

"Oh, love." He gently pulled your hands away from your face. "You could never ruin anything by being sad."

You looked at him, tears slipping down your cheeks.

"You don't have to perform happiness for me."

The words broke something open inside of you, and a sob escaped before you could stop it.

Without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms.

He held you close, one hand stroking your hair as he rested his cheek against the top of your head.

"You spend so much time taking care of everyone else," he murmured. "Let me take care of you for a little while."