Maddy ☕️

Maddy / 28 / intersex / she/her / bi&ace / Australia

[definitelymaddy]

heyy i'm Maddy! 😊

i'm an intersex woman with 46xx/xy chimerism, i'm bi & ace. i'm super passionate about intersex inclusivity in healthcare and in general existence, and general disability inclusivity.

also post about me/cfs, pots, heds, adhd, pmdd, cptsd

i’ll answer asks about my intersex experiences or intersex stuff in general, or pretty much anything really- as long as it’s in good faith 😌

i’ve been a Tumblr user since ~2010, but had only on and off used it for the past few years. i decided to make a new account to try getting properly back into it and connect it less with my irl identity so i’d feel more comfortable lol

[ros-sauce]

[definitelymaddy]

mostly unserious life is strange reunion theory but honestly wouldn’t surprise me if they pull this

due to the theme of fire in the trailer, somehow Rachel Amber is back and going full dark willow. the “reunion” in the title isn’t talking about Max and Chloe, it’s secretly about Chloe and Rachel

why? LiS BTS was Deck Nine’s first LiS game and they presumably have some attachment to it. also a lot of the trailer gives LiS 1 callback vibes, and Rachel was a massive underlying part of that game’s plot

[mortalstriike]

The intersex experience is realising over and over how extremely different your life was from those who you were supposed to be sharing a binary gender with

[the-intersex-experience]

The intersex experience (especially if you're short) is being androgynous enough that people constantly don't believe you are an adult. I'm almost 25 but people treat me like I'm 16 and I'm constantly getting carded when perisex people my age generally aren't as much. I hate this idea that androgyny = childlike.

.

[definitelymaddy]

i’ve been 178cm tall since i was 12, and was still getting carded for 15+ movies at the age of 23 😩. having messed up puberties due to my intersex condition, and nonconsensual medical interventions, really messed up my aging. bars stopped carding me a few years ago (am 28 now), but I mostly credit that to EDS causing very obvious signs of aging the second I turned 25.

[moving-meow]

It's so tiring being the only intersex person I know in many spaces offline.

I was the only intersex person in my queer club. I am the only intersex person in queer spaces in general. I am the only intersex person at my larp. I am the only intersex person anywhere. When I ask if people have even heard of the term or what it means, they don't.

And we're treated as rare or a curious object rather than a person sometimes. And it's just utterly fucking lonely.

[the-intersex-experience]

my intersex experience is being unable to ignore the little hints of intersexism in everything.

one of my favorite movies, juno, has a “joke” about how weird it would be to have a baby without genitals.

one of my favorite books, hell followed with us, has a line about how a cis person could never ever understand what dysphoria is like.

one of my favorite bands, rammstein, has an entire song dedicated to saying a slur over and over again.

and i’m expected to get over all this. they didn’t mean it like that. it’s not that big of a deal. you’re nitpicking.

.

[tboy-cock]

also if we're talking about intersexism then lets talk about afab/amab. these terms were coined by the intersex community to put a name to our experiences of being incorrectly, nonconsensually, and often violently assigned a sex at birth. all afab/amab are SUPPOSED to mean is that the doctor looked at your external genitalia when you were born and decided you were male or female. ASAB TERMINOLOGY DOES NOT MEAN OR EVEN IMPLY THAT SOMEONE IS "BORN" OR "BIOLOGICALLY" A SEX. and we dont mind when perisex trans people use those terms! they were also incorrectly, nonconsensually, and often violently assigned a sex at birth and for most of their lives! the issue is that perisex trans and queer people have now changed the definition of afab/amab to mean "biologically/born female/male," which was not EVER the point of those terms. you can be afab and be born with xy chromosomes and no uterus, you can be afab and be born with a penis, you can be amab and be born with xx chromosomes, because all that afab and amab mean is that your doctor either looked at your external genitalia or forcibly surgically altered your external genitalia at the time of your birth and assigned you male or female based off of that. which is that, while i was technically afab in the sense that a doctor looked at my external genitalia and decided that i was female, i was not "born" female, i was born intersex. and you FUCKING PEOPLE have made this bastardized definition so mainstream that im having to fill out a referral for bottom surgery and it asks, "what is your assigned gender at birth" and i dont know WHAT to put because they are almost definitely using it as a "woke" way to ask if you were born male or female, but that question for me has two different answers depending on what the question actually means, cause i WAS assigned female at birth, but im biologically intersex and have ambiguous genitalia

ultimately, if you want to talk about being born a male or female, growing up a boy or girl, going through testosterone or estrogen based puberty, experiences as someone with a uterus, just say those things outright. and also, lets renormalize NOT asking trans people what sex they were "born as" by asking if theyre afab/amab. theres just no need. like i want to be charitable but im so over it

[crippled-peeper]

can we stop pretending like saying racial slurs and being an edgy bigot on Twitter is like… an essential part of transing your gender that everyone goes through? I have nothing in common with you people besides us being trans. even as a 12 year old I knew the n word was wrong to say. just fucking stop already. you being racist has absolutely nothing to do with transphobia. you’re just racist

[definitelymaddy]

or when i say i have trouble trusting people who keep bringing up the fact that they had a nazi phase. that it’s somehow something i need to work through, and accept that “some people had different circumstances and upbringings to me”- and like sure, we did have different upbringings; i was the one targeted by the teens going through their nazi phases

[the-fox-collective]

Me : amab and afab are useless words, just say exactly what you mean.

Literally every perisex fuck : yes but what about people's HEALTH?! It's very important for your HEALTH to know what your legal gender is/was. How will DOCTORS know what to do if they don't know what someone else said at your birth?!?!?!?

Me :

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

You DO know that "demedicalise intersexuality" means "stop practices such as nonconsensual genital surgery and forced/coerced HRT that aim to make intersex bodies fit the sex binary," not "incorrectly insist that there are no medical conditions connected to intersex variations," right ???? RIGHT ????

[ugly-anarchist]

Why is it that whenever an intersex person complains about a common form of intersexism everyone jumps to be like "YOU SHOULDN'T ASSUME BAD FAITH" and "WELL I THINK IT ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT"

[definitelymaddy]

or they come back with something like “_you people_ keep changing the goal posts, that was fine last week” when they’ve just been listening to intersexist people over actual intersex people

[gonyadaldysgenesis]

referring back to this post but you never have to tell people your assigned gender at birth, either. literally ever. dont even have to imply it. we dont have to normalize feeling required to tell strangers, friends, and doctors if the people who were in your delivery room as a baby thought your phallus was short enough to raise you as a girl or long enough to raise you as a boy. we dont need to normalize giving out private information about our genitals, social history, and medical history. it tells us absolutely nothing about a persons personhood, sex, gender, experiences, what they ended up being treated like, socialized as, etc. this goes the same for both intersex and non-intersex/perisex people. just dont tell people if you dont want to! i promise you it will change nothing about your life!

[this-is-intersexism]

the lack of recognition of how bathroom bills affect intersex people is intersexism.

this laws are usually pushed under transmisic agenda, and it's fair that trans rights advocacy addresses transmisia in these campains and laws. but these laws also affect intersex people.

some intersex people look visibly sex variant. and they are also seen as a threat to the sex and gender essentionalism. transmisia and intersexism are intertwined and may become inseparable in some parts.

intersex people are also at risk in gendered spaces. we can also be harassed, banned, charged for "violation," face various violence.

it's important to recognize that risk and remember about intersex people in discussions of these laws.

[ichliebemeinkissen]

& no, perisex people, intersex people being affected isn't "cis people caught in the crossfire/latteral agression". They hate us too.

[definitelymaddy]

so often i see people commenting on a post about a cis intersex person affected by these policies & laws with something like “Why do cis people always need to centre themselves in trans issues” when like no! that is not what’s happening here!

i feel a large part of it is that intersex erasure is so prevalent that half the time someone’s intersex status is just omitted from reporting, or lost at some point before the story reaches various other sites

[status-quo-hater]

Anyone talking shit about this flag-

-needs to shut the fuck up.

I do not care if it's "ugly", I don't care if it's "cluttered", being pretty isn't the point of a flag. It's a symbol of our community and it serves the purpose of representing us.

Yes, I know we are included in the original flag. I prefer the Gilbert Baker flag myself for its history and aesthetics and I feel it represents me as an intersex person. But this isn't about personal preference.

You do NOT know how many people know what intersex means because they asked why that flag waa put there. That's people who might've never asked that question. That direct representation of us DOES matter. It DOES help us. And your aesthetic preferences are not a good reason to get rid of a direct refrence to intersexuality in one of our broadly used queer community symbols.

[definitelymaddy]

i’ve put the intersex inclusive pride flag in a few online spaces i manage, and it’s led to so many people legitimately asking “what’s the purple circle mean?”

a large part of what we need from allies as intersex people is awareness, and this flag achieves it more than anything else in recent memory

[definitelymaddy]

i was wondering if time is usually personified as male or female, and honestly it got _weird_.

Father Time, Chronos, etc are all masculine

but then you have “time’s a bitch”, “time is a cruel mistress”, etc that are feminine coded

seems when they’re personified as a person they’re masculine, but in idioms or when referred to they’re feminine

so therefore i can only conclude that time is a femboy

[status-quo-hater]

I'd fill this out but I'd just be highlighting the whole board.

[definitelymaddy]

this feels like it could be entirely filled out just by spending a week on Twitter 😌