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@definitelyzoey
I really don't know what I feel. Exhaustion? Worry? Resentment? Anger? I don't know.
I don't understand this feeling, and I don't know how to process it. I have no expression, yet my chest aches. Why? Why does it have to be this way?
I don't know.
to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you.
you got to learn to not sabotage the healing process. i know it's hard to not pick at the scabs, i get it. but the wound will reopen and you'll start bleeding again. let it be.
3:24 AM Thoughts
I am torn between what is and what can be.
The present is what I should be living for, but the future sounds so promising.
With potential swirling in the air, I inhale much too quickly —I start to choke and feel nauseous. Maybe breathing in the possibilities were a bit much for me.
As I stare at the white ceiling, I wonder about the promises of tomorrow, and how the feeling of not knowing can keep you going and at the same time break your spirit.
The beauty of the unknown is that it keeps your curiosity alive. But at the same time, fishing with uncertainty can either get you a big fish or get you swallowed by an even bigger fish.
All I'm trying to say is, it's scary to not know how the next chapter goes, whether the climax was worth the climb or was it one of those that leaves you soulless until you get to the next chapter.
But regardless, it's a canon event; you just have to start to know how it's going to end —like some kind of twisted dichotomy.
How can you feel nostalgia from something you've never experienced?
It does get extremely hard sometimes, but I want to believe that this is preparing me for something greater; something bigger than just the dreams that I have for myself.
Sometimes we forget that we're right in the middle of our answered prayers.
My heart is torn between what it knows and what it feels.
I want this to work, but I don't want to risk getting hurt. What do I do?
Somehow the promise of you and I is full of hope and ambition, but the reality of our present hardly seems to be going in that direction.
While I do feel for you, I simply cannot choose you over me.
And it's one of the most painful choices I ever had to make.
I stare at my phone, refreshing the page, hoping that something will change.
As I kept staring at the conversation, I was hoping a message will magically appear. But I was left with the disappointment that keeps tearing my heart out.
I wanted to see if you cared; if you actually cared. But as reality stung me like a hot needle, I refreshed the page one more time to see that dreadful status: SEEN 18H AGO.
It's been awhile since I last posted on here.
