the bus is anything but luxury, the seats dulled by the grime of thirty years. when it rolled off the assembly line the seats must have been a brilliant blue, the chrome handrails mirroring the lights. the few people swamp their occupied seats with muddied silence. everyone awake. everyone asleep. their eyes are bleary, reactions slow, tiredness running in their veins just the same as their blood. it takes forever, it seems, to the passengers, for the old diesel engine to roar into life. when it does, a funny feeling comes, not excitement, though at first it appears that way. it’s some relief, some fear, some grieving for the place they leave. ahead is unknown, all they can do is pray for things to be better where they are heading for. they cannot know what is on the other end.
these seats and windows shook with every small bump in the ragged pavement, jostling the passengers back and forth. the air conditioning pumps through only a few filters, whistling with the extreme pressure. it smells slightly of diluted gas. as the world slides by the window, there are small movements from amongst the passengers. someone shifts in their seat, there’s a little cough, a little sneeze, probably from the chilly weather of fall. everyone lurches forward slight as the bus comes to a stop - engines cooling.
she paid attention to every new passenger that came in. people watching. just one of her hobbies. outside, a man drops his cigarette, smothers it with his foot and blows the last breath full of smoke before he steps inside. the doors close with a gasp of air and the bus moves once again as he walks down the aisle then settles on exactly the seat across younghee’s side.
soon the tires kiss the smooth tarmac of their destination, repeating its eternal pattern of stops and gos, turning down its routine corners, and failing to avoid the ditches carved in the blacktop. with the bus in motion, an emotional no-man’s land takes hold in its myriad of manifestations, every person unique, destination known and unknown all at once. it went for what felt like an eternity, she must have missed her stop already. but that was on purpose. there was nothing to look forward to at home. what she does there, she could be doing here or anywhere else quiet. which was her alone time to think.
days were always long and eventful for our cool girl, younghee. not because she went on adventures, piloting a bunny robot and killing off a baby dragon or having a shot at boot camp training with all the tough, bulky military guys. honestly, if people knew the things she was interested in, she could only imagine how quickly they’d turn their backs on her. on the supposed popular and fun girl that they know of. she’s a nerd, literally. and right now, a nerd looking deep out the passing views that becomes a hazy blur, she sits in a mixture of cozy and bored. she checks her phone periodically for new posts on social media. twitter, to be specific; where all the fun is.
“did that stop we just passed by say ‘anal beds’?”
to this question randomly blurted out, she’s confused. but she looks up to find the bus almost emptied out by the previous sparse crowd and there couldn’t have been anyone else he was talking to, unless imaginary friends was something he still believed it at the mature age he seemed to be in. the english words first throws her off until it gets the tingling familiarity in her ears the more she thought of it. “it might have said ‘anal beads’.” she says in the most sense she could make out of his bizarre musing. color her intrigued, however. and it’s seen with how she immediately has her phone away despite being in the midst of comedy gold. this was equivalent to that, she debates in her mind and then the theories start. rather, one’s she’d known and thought of sharing out of nowhere to contribute to the arbitrary exchange.
“do you believe in the afterlife?” her eyebrows knitted to indicate it was a serious inquiry she’s offering. before the male could even form a response, she continues to speak. “they say when we die, we’re actually reborn. that when you’re a good person or successful or you generally do well in life, you’ll be reborn as something badass. like a lion, or whatever else you think is badass.” she gestures with her hand before it’s curled into a tight balled fist that she clears her throat into. “so when you’re a dick, you get to be reborn as anal beads.” she shrugs and even scoffs along. “one time my english teacher told me i’ll come back to life as a ‘sack of shit’ or a ‘dingle berry’ then he emphasized, ‘dingle berry. yes, singular form.’” she projects her voice to a lower baritone in attempts of mimicking the voice of her teacher. “i tell you, he’ll be anal beads for sure.”
today’s checklist: buy some groceries for that place you call a home, you’ll grow of exhaustion if your diet isn’t stabled. plus junhoe is coming by later, wow him with some cool cooking. or deli food with the sticker torn off, that works too. oh speaking of stickers, by new labeling tape for the boxes at the warehouse. it’s best to be safe when those boxes go out to their destination, we can’t risk any suspicion, especially after last week’s hit. and there’s another reminder, go send threats to the man of the choi household, the loan on their end still hasn’t been paid off. jaebum was being generous with that day extension too because of the pity he felt for the daughter, it’s about time he gets his end paid off. and in mention of time, the bus should be arriving any time soon so zip up that backup of yours so no one can steal glances in the back. no one will trust a man in dark attire baring arms, it’s best to act cool.
and after a crush to his second cigarette of the morning acting cool is just what he did, the stride of his steps soft and subtle and accompanied with a smile after he paid for the fare of the bus. first stop: that cheap-o grocery store in the area of town no one really visits. the owner was also the collaborative manager of the establishment in the territory he claimed, and this was the best way to collect his extortion. it was always a similar plot he decoyed too, pretending he was stealing to get the manager on shift called out to deal with him, and eventually being lead to the back to where he could pull one of those hazardous items in his backpack out in order to confirm that payment was received. the idea of it all had him snickering too, his back relaxed in the seat of the bus as his little secret enticed his thoughts. those other hopeless souls on this ride had no idea what malicious horror he was plotting in that handsome little head of his, only making him feel that much more powerful. it was a pulsing strength that flowed through his veins, fueling his neck that suspiciously cracked in glance to see if anyone was even paying any attention to the corrupt man himself. and as figured, no one was. at this point all he could see was the girl sitting across from him, her soft exterior catching his attention for a slim second before snarling at the man a few seats behind that obviously needed some sort of work done to his nose, and adjacent to that terrible sight being a group of young woman who seemed to either be minding their own business or snoozing off.
rewind a few seconds here though, back to the girl he first took notice of. she looks and cute and all, but what the hell is that sign that he swore just cut off the top of her head? hello, bus driver. please put this damn contraption in reverse so there can be a proper investigation as to why such a thing would even exist. what the fuck is an anal bed anyway? is this some new kink? whatever it was it needed to stay far, far, far away from him. and that little girl too, because even her response to his sudden inquiry left him in even more confusion. dang, why did he even have to ask?
oh right, that’s because curiosity has got his tongue. ha, no pussy pun intended. okay, back to more mature topics here, after all we are now transitioning to conversation with someone who has the appearance of someone rather young. he could be wrong though, she could just be some goddess of youth here to tell him some complex theory about how he will end up in life. oh! that would be so exciting actually, he loves riddles!
without much thought he’s now pulling himself out of the self loathing of the tacky seat to find his way actually sitting next to her, not even thinking much into the whole idea of how he could look like a creep. no one else seems to be paying attention either, it was as if they were absorbed into their own little world full of inquiries that could melt a candle with the way the flame of theory would ignite. wait.. he swears he has felt this before, this same feeling of tingles rising across his skin and his spine stiffening. this had deja vu written all over it, even the example she used to miscellaneous conversation. quick, someone pinch him. is he dreaming? is this reality? why is that the closer he leans into the spot next to her the more he feels as if this isn’t their first encounter?
maybe it was the way her words were strung along with ambitious hand movements, taking him onto the journey of her little tale that accompanied the fumble of her fingers and furrow of her brows before she sparked the question if he was even listening to her at all. of course he was, but how was he to explain the fact he could almost predict every word she was about to murmur? the checklist in his brain was vanishing, the distorted thoughts of afterlife and how he once told himself he would be a chia pet in that form of life. because he was like a never ending cycle that always stepped backwards no matter how forced he put the idea in his head that he was growing. “yeah, yeah, i’m listening... i was just thinking about what i would be is all.” a lie. and like a spark of that same candle he was back to glancing down at the small of her hands, back up to those hard pressed blinks her eyes would twinkle with while expressing the discontent of her teacher. huh, fascinating.
“okay, but little miss bad ass do you even know what anal beads are?” the tone in his voice was unintentionally the same one he would use when speaking to his younger sister, a beat of his heart being stolen into the concave of his chest as the idea completely blew itself away. don’t get too distracted now jaebum, you have an agenda for today. don’t let this witch, goddess of youth, or whatever she is suck you in too much. (too late though.) “tell santa you want a lion chia pet for christmas this year, you can think of that guy you met on the bus when you open it." he completely forgot to mention the entire meaning behind the chia pet, but it didn’t seem necessary at the pace this discussion was leading. “what’s that english teacher’s name? i’ll get him a dingle berry.” okay, that was a little too threatening.... but the cool kind of threatening, maybe he’ll get lucky and it’ll come off playful so he won’t seem harmful.
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