[delectablebeetle]

☢︎ gutz・he/him・24・white・canada ☢︎

→ minors dni + basic dni do i really have to say it.

　→ this is a personal blog full of partially coherent ramblings and i rarely reblog things, but posts can be found in my likes if you are so inclined. i do like hetalia, so please be aware of that before you decide to follow. i unfollow non-mutuals after some time.

　→ i have some sideblogs:

　　⇒ @honeydewyoudare food blog

⇒ @syntheticfibres clothing blog

⇒ @tombsofhome homes & interiors blog

⇒ @immortalbutcher blorbo blog

　→ i read all links available on mobile layouts.

[delectablebeetle]

YOUUUU ARE OUT OF UR MIND

[delectablebeetle]

the tumblr app somehow reinstalled itself onto my phone Hello. Who did that. How does that even happen

[delectablebeetle]

hides in bathroom #likeaboss because my bus drops me off around 15 mins early usually and for Whatever reason my boss is always here insanely early despite him Supposedly starting work at the same time as me and he Already started the Work Talk when i came downstairs to put my things down like dude. look at the clock. So now I'm hiding until im on the clock. im so tired my volunteer group had a meeting that lasted two god damned hours last night. Also my bloodwork came back and idk how to read any of this bs but nothing seems wildly out of wack so that Probably means more testing. sigh. gna make an appointment w my doctor to go over the results

[delectablebeetle]

okay well bus ride this morning sucked. anyway. massive ranting vent infodump below

people who i thought were my friends have been shit talking me behind my back and i dont even know why 🧡 reckon it started tuesday, if not earlier. so my volunteer group had to move out of where we were renting from cuz the org evicted us, gave us three months to move right. we've known about this and had scheduled our move date for Three Months. our move was saturday may 30th. im in a groupchat with 1 and 2 and our group has a Big groupchat with a bunch of regular volunteers, leaders, etc. theres another figure here 3 who we dont really like, but the other two REALLY dont like her they hate her more than me. im honestly kind of neutral she gets on my nerves sometimes bcz she has issues w control and wants people to pick up tasks but also wont Delegate the tasks or YADA YADA but other than that im fine with 3. anyway. set-up. tuesday 1 texts the groupchat that she decided shes going camping and bailing the move because Screw 3, and she asks who else wants to come with. Right. Right. 2 responds that they want to, and i say im not because what a fucking dick move. every single day after that they are up my ass trying to convince me to go camping with them instead and i keep telling them No. saturday comes around. theres only five people including me to move all of our shit over, and only two people have vehicles. the second person with a truck came later, and 3 is the other person with a suv. my car is Fucked rn so ive been busing it lately. the other two cant drive. 3 has to leave at 17:00 and we scheduled for 14:00. Great. Awesome. Great. Anyway. the entire fucking time 1 and 2 are texting and calling me and im ignoring them because 1. im busy 2. theyre starting to irritate me. we managed to get everything Into the building, but its all just piled everywhere because again. NOT A LOT OF US THERE! So i volunteered to come in sunday to finish organizing along with 1's mom btw cuz she wasnt able to make it due to work. i phone 1 and 2 later and we talk a bit about the move and they ask if im going in sunday, to which i say yes. 1 or 2 i couldnt tell who it was immediately goes GROW UP and they all start Laughing. You can imagine how pissed off i am at this point.

i sent this after i showered and stewed over it. i think 1 thinks im fucking braindead because this is NOT what she meant AT ALL i do not know who she's trying to fool but it's not me. Me grow up. Me grow up when you two fucked not only my sunday over, but your own mother's sunday to go camping because you "cant stand being around 3." ME GROW UP when i dont think much of 3 either but i showed up anyway because i can put aside my personal disliking of someone to benefit not only the group as a whole, but the fucking community we're serving, our old landlords, and our new ones. Right. Me grow the fuck up. Anyway. Then this happened sunday night.

IN THE FUCKING GROUPCHAT WE HAVE WITH EVERYONE I MENTIONED EARLIER. SHE ACCIDENTALLY SENDS THIS. OH MY GOD I WAS VIBRATING AND MY HEART WAS POUNDING I WAS SO PISSED

1 messages the groupchat with the three of us with this fucking stupid ass explanation IM SLOW BUT IM NOT FUCKING BRAINDEAD. IF YOU MEANT TO SAY ALL THREE OF US ARE TRAINWRECKS YOU WOULDNT HAVE SINGLED ME OUT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. AND FOR THAT TO HAVE BEEN A PRIVATE MESSAGE BETWEEN 1 AND 2, BOTH OF THESE PEOPLE I THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS ON TOP OF THE PETTY ASS COMMENT ON SATURDAY Oh my god i was fucking livid. And you know who reached out to talk to me about it and who also checked in with me today. 3. Some fucking friends i thought i had right. whatever. Whatever! I dont know when im going to message her back to hear her pitiful apology. i dont even want to. i dont feel like being around either of them but we have an event coming up in two weeks that theyll be at. im so upset and hurt its not even funny

[floptuals]

uhhhh hi this is a long shot n i hate doing this but could i have like $15 so i can get some food tn? tysm nd sorry for always asking like this

cshpp (preferred)

pypl

[delectablebeetle]

you will Never fucking believe what has happened to me over the last two days its been a long time since ive felt so disrespected idk ill get into it tomorrow i have a whole bus ride to type it out on but just know. Just Know.

[delectablebeetle]

im weeping i cant post a photo of this lest i dox myself but every single one of buses i need are congregated downtown WHY ARE YOU ALL THERE HEY.

[delectablebeetle]

also am gna try and get bloodwork done saturday morning as a walk in unfortunately. u literally have to book a month in advance if u want ANYTHING before noon its so ridiculous well i need this solved Now or frankly i may die

[delectablebeetle]

i need to lock in and finish nancy's doc ive been slowly plunking away at rewording/tweaking/SHORTENING their backstory for this one server im in.... theres still so much to include im scared....... and then i have a different doc to adjust for a Different server.. THEN i have their master doc to finish why do i do this to myself

[delectablebeetle]

i wish you didnt have to go thru airport security to unlock the best part of an airport. they should let me hang out in there just because im a cute and well-mannered individual

[delectablebeetle]

can i speak my truth I dont like being passenger princess. i dont. I am my mother's son. i dont like not being in control of the vehicle

[delectablebeetle]

man do not come up to my car window and talk to me about work shit ten minutes before work actually starts Just because im sitting in the parking lot with my window down what is wrong with you

[delectablebeetle]

oh my god i feel like such shit i might go to a walk in tmrw and see if i can get bloodwork written up by them. i think my regular doctor is on vacation my mom mentioned being unable to get an appointment until mid june Well i kind of need help Now i fear. maybe if i didnt ignore my ailments until theye unbearable... but like in addition to the bruising and fatigue my chest has been hurting so bad even when i dont have caffiene and im ITCHY my hands have been rly itchy and my lips recently started being unbearably itchy like what the fuck. and all i want to eat is cold frozen foods ive been craving slushies and ice cream nothing else is appealing

[delectablebeetle]

sorrryyyyyy everyone is rolling their eyes because im talking about kctv again. ive noticed All of the movies ive caught snippets of are dubbed in post and its really interesting. like Noticeably post dubbed. apparently its more common than i wouldve thought but its usually not as blatant. im not too sure how i feel about it.. neutral perhaps. i like how much clearer the voices are which id probably enjoy Even more if i actually spoke korean, but i find some of the emotion is lost in some scenes. what's being said falls flatter than what the actions and expressions are portraying and it feels less natural which is Whatever ultimately i suppose ......... #MYIMMERSION...... its pretty unintentionally camp though i have to admit but it Is mainly melodramas that ive seen so far So.

[delectablebeetle]

im sorry i complained about it being 20 degrees yesterday i didnt mean it (its 32 today) ill do anything. i dont know how anyone in like texas and arizona do it. the tropics. i am killing myself.

[delectablebeetle]

i fear there is something Genuinely wrong with my body rn why am i bruising so easily and also so extremely and why am i so much more tired than usual and have way less energy than usual #SCARED