Gosh, itās been so long. What can I tell you? I can tell you that Iām telling stories on Instagram. If you PM me we can connect there.Ā
I can tell you that weāve been living in an Airbnb on South Beach since August, and weāre about to move again. This time we will move to a house my husbandās advertising agency owns. Itās a big house, much bigger than any house Iāve ever lived in. Itās two houses joined together with a hallway between, and it feels labyrinthine and hence, impossibly exciting for the kids. Agency folk will be working there, and during Art Basel two artists from Argentina will be living there, too. Ah, what it is. I amĀ grateful for everything, all the time.
Our team will finish our house in January, I think. Every day I go there and walk through the rooms-to-be.Ā
I am writing. I write an essay and revise it fifty times and send it to my father for feedback. Then I email him and say, Wait! Iām working on another draft. Hold off. Stand by. I revise fifty more times. Some days I feel like Iām drudging through a swamp and none of the words feel right. Other days I cut entire paragraphs and paste them at the bottom, then find other places to insert them where they beautifully belong. Those days I understand how writing is a long, long process involving many days that feel useless but are, in fact, nurturing the coming-together of theĀ āfinalā words. (Quotations = the terrible feeling that all writers have to revise their work, even after itās published.)Ā
My kids are just kids, learning and doing gymnastics, baseball, ballet, robotics. I shuttle them here and there, and make friends in the process. Forever Iāve had people tell me that they think Iām reserved until they know me, and man I tell you I really feel that Iāve come out of my shell--that Iām much more outside of myself and immediately friendly than I used to be--but no. Just this past week I went out with a couple of moms from the kidsā school, and they told me that very thing--that they thought I was all inside of myself, until after many weeks I crept out. We canāt get away from what we really are, can we?Ā
Ah, I have so much more to say, I think, but itās late and Iām tired.Ā Ā Ā
Long live tumblr, Iāve missed you so.