[delimastef]

I haven’t been on this blog in a long time. I now remember why.

I really did run from my feelings and healing from my divorce. I ran from losing the love of my life. I said this back then but got shut down by friends. I told them I’d forever mourn the loss of her, they said I was just hung up. It’s been 5 years, a relationship, dog and home later. I find myself alone but not lonely. Grateful she’s out of my life, but angry she caused me to lose even the last ounce you were giving me.

Even at the end, you wanted to stand by me. And I fucking took that for granted with some temporary bliss. I’m remorseful as fuck, but I am so grateful you’re finally happy and making moves again. I feel I dragged you down and ruined so much for you while self sabotaging. I’ve apologized but you don’t care. I’m an indifference to you, well deserved. I only understand how you feel because it’s how I feel about her now. Angry and resentful, taken advantage of. Thrown away.I never intended to make you feel like that.

Again, assuming I’m right? But I had the tendency to do a lot of things without intention, without thoughtfulness. I was - plainly put - an asshole. Narcissistic even.

You showed me true love for the first time in my life, the one thing I yearned for, and I threw it to the wind. I’m sorry.

My last hope for you is that she does differently. That she cherish and hold the love you have to offer, that she reciprocates and evolves that love for you with each passing day. That she respects you, your heart, your mind and body. That she makes you feel irreplaceable. I hope my love, that she sees everything I didn’t.

I have a slight gut feeling she does or you wouldn’t be with her, not after me.

So cheers to your happily ever after my love.

Ps: I hope you know I still can’t listen to Ed until this day, at least not without tearing up over you. So I’ve avoided him too.

[delimastef]

I guess I don’t understand. What is the point of unblocking someone you haven’t spoken to in nearly 5 months only to block them again in less than a week?

Did you think I was going to reach out on Easter or yesterday? I’m not quite sure what the end game was for you.

We made it through every single holiday thus far without pulling each other back in, so why are you lurking?

You remain blocked on all my socials, that’s never going to change. You will not have access to my life.Keep my mom on there, that’s about the extent of connection that remains. But it’s only a matter of time before she deletes you too. Now that she knows how utterly evil you are.

Stay away from me.

[delimastef]

like I genuinely can’t believe I haven’t seen you in person in 3 weeks and not only did you completely not acknowledge my relationship or my girlfriend, but you made all the effort to get us some alone time even if for a few minutes, felt the need to touch me and be close to me… but we’re going to sit here and act like you never had an ounce of feelings for me? Okay then

Everyone’s only been trying to tell me for a year but now I’m seeing it crystal clear

[delimastef]

I’d forgotten what it was like to vibe with someone who reciprocates and expresses interest.

But will I let my walls down or am I just going to keep finding excuses to run away?

[delimastef]

Hope she was good enough last night 😂

[delimastef]

Okay okay so although Midnight isn’t on my top 3 favorite Taylor albums, “Labyrinth” has definitely earned a spot in my top 10 favorite songs by her… that’s a feat seeing she’s got soooo many

[delimastef]

Quando cê menos espera, o coração batendo tipo o relógio que eu não paro de olhar

É que são 4 da manhã e tu não sai da minha cabeça, 5 da manhã e eu só penso em você

[bollyswood]

MEAN GIRLS (2004) dir. Mark Waters

[unending-night]

I’m falling more in love with every single word I withhold And I’m falling more in love every single word you say

[delimastef]

I’ve been dancing on the tops of buildings with you 🖤

[iamnotawomanimagod]

thinking about how when Halsey sang “929″ live they changed the lyric from:

“And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit, well she told me,

‘Ashley, you’ve gotta promise us that you won’t die, ‘cause we need you,’

and honestly, I think that she lied.”

to:

“…‘cause we need you,’ and honestly, I think she was right.”

because that’s just so 🥺💛

[delimastef]

The best thing about these planets retrograding is all the writingggg I’ve been getting done 👌🏽

[punkrock-bottom]

How slutty would you say you are?

In theory? Very. In practice? Not at all. I’m lazy.

[punkrock-bottom]

I’m absolutely OBSESSED with this catholic take on my slutty anon post

[nui-the-super-lesbian]

[delimastef]

truly stuck between I want to let love in again and I never want to care for another being that way again

and it really sucks cause my heart/mind are changing in the daily

[delimastef]

Also getting real tired of my friends trying to push dating on me. Everyday I have to hear “we Gita find you someone” blah blah.

I don’t know how many more times I have to say I don’t want it right now 🙄

[delimastef]

My life is so ironic that something I really, really wanted this time last year has only now started to happen… when I no longer want it like that 😅😅😅

Oh, here we goooo

[delimastef]

Eu amo seus olhos castanhos

[delimastef]

“I love you. I have loved you from the moment we raced each other in that park. I have loved you at every dance, on every walk, on every time we've been together, everytime we've been apart, you don't have to accept it, you don't have to embrace or even allow it, knowing you you probably will not, but you must know. You must feel it in your heart, because I do."

Bravo Bridgerton, bravo