Hi again! Want to relate something about dating in case it is of any interest.
Right out of the blue, I was asked out by a straight man (here where I live). Flattered, I went on a few dates with him. Nothing serious, I thought. But it did not take long at all before he was pressuring me into a physical relationship. And pressuring me a lot!
Obviously, I was never a typical guy, when living as a male. So when I was doing the guy thing (long before transition), I would take my time. And was never pushy, preferring to get to know somebody well first. Before things got physical. Turns out that, from what I understand from cis women I know now, that how I was is not typical male behavior at all. So I was a bit blindsided. When the roles were reversed and I was the woman this time.
I'm hearing from my straight cis girlfriends that a lot of straight guys expect sex by the second or third date at the latest. I suppose this is fine if that is what a particular lady wants. And I'd even fantasized about doing that on the first date! But when it happened for real, and when the opportunity was there. I did not want to take it. Yet. Because my intuition was telling me not to.
And I am glad I didn't. Because the more I learned about him, the more I found we were not very compatible. So better to not have made things any more serious, and we could go our separate ways without it being harder (I broke it off with him because of compatibility issues that had nothing to do with sex).
Fantasy is one thing. But reality is something else. So if you find yourself out there. Dating guys. Know what to expect. Establish boundaries. And don't do anything you are not comfortable in doing. Even if you do not understand why, because it could be your intuition warning you. And if you have principles and a certain sense of right and wrong for you. You do not have to compromise that. For anybody.
Last but not least. Flattery is what got me to go out with him in the first place. And it is nice to be treated like a lady. So be careful with that if it is shown toward you. And be safe.
jbbartram-illu
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