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DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.
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I'd rather be in outer space đž
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@demonicpurge
HEAR YEE, HEAR YEE! For crimes against Obelis the Silencer is sentenced to death by hanging by the neck until no more. He is a wanted criminal and all who wish not to have the wrath of Obelis befall them shall actively seek to hunt this heretic down and bring him to justice!
That is all well and good. I merely ask that you allow me to capture his soul at the moment of death. Do not worry, I shall not come in person to pollute your, ah, holy grounds with my demonic presence...
Auroth couldnât help but grin; simultaneously eager to read for another as she adored the act and amused at the Demonâs embarrassment. âDonât worry,â she said softly, resting a claw on his arm and looking into his eyes in what she hoped was a comforting manner. âIt wonât be a bother.â She grabbed the book and flipped it open to the table of contents, grinning widely. âWe have quite a few options here,â she said happily as she skimmed over some quickly. âIâll read them to you and then you can tell me which one you want me to read. Letâs seeâŠâ The Wyvern looked at the first section. âSlaying Dragonsâ it was called. She decided to leave it out of her list. âYour choices shall be 'Tales of Hellâ, 'Gods and Kingsâ, 'Knightly Adventuresâ, 'Tribal Talesâ, 'Hunters of the Nightâ, and 'Heroic Questsâ. Seems you were right. Most do seem to be about heroes on wears fighting their enemies. But which one piques your interest most?â Auroth asked, looking up from the book to observe Shadow Demonâs response.
Shadow Demon was still looking resolutely aside, his tail swishing to and fro, teeth gritted. Their eyes met briefly, blue boring into white, but his gaze quickly switched to the floor instead. He took another swig from the bottle, still muttering under his breath in Ozkavosh, but as she began to rattle off the contents page of the book, one title nabbed his attention.
âTales of Hell, you say? Hmmm... it would be intriguing, perhaps, to hear what this human author might think of my kind... I can already predict what it will contain! Perhaps a demon will have taken a fair, braindead human maiden to Hell, and some narcissistic hero will gallop in to save her from the lascivious talons of the beasts below? Or perhaps it will glamourise Lucifash as a colossal, all-ruling, all-knowing, all-destroying Lord of Hell, responsible for all the mortal planeâs strife?â He chuckled, his dark mood lightening somewhat. âIzh acha fol, voâArkosh! Ozh... ozh acha ahmâArkosh. Voâizh. Ozh icha groth irush voâmiskath izh... Ahem. I suppose... I would enjoy hearing that story. If it is not too much bother, I mean. Izh acha voâfek ahmâchron. You may start right now.â
the-winter-wyvern:
Watching as the demon slid over the bookshelf, Auroth also pondered what could be in the books. Of course, the most probable answer was that they were just religious texts, but the fact that they were hidden away in a trapdoor like this made her believe that there was something more to them than that. Perhaps they were tomes of magical power, as the Demon had suggested. Despite the religion being against magic, it would not surprise her, considering that they also owned wine, as was against their religion. Taking one of the books, she looked at the cover. âMYTHS AND LEGENDSâ it read, making her wonder more. Were they story books? She thought on this absentmindedly as the Demon passed up the other books, not looking at the covers of these ones. Myths and Legends, but what of? Were they tales she had heard before or not? Taking the last book and setting it into the pile with the rest, the Wyvern crawls over to the other side and waited for the Demon to emerge. She did not care much for the alcohol he held, her mind only focused on the books, one of which he picked up.
It was the same one as before, and as he struggled reading the title, Auroth was tempted to ask to allow her to read it. It seemed the Demon had the same idea in mind, though, as he held up the book to read. âIt says Myths and Legends,â she explained warmly. âAnd likely it is a collection of such. Would you like me to read one for you?â
âAh, human tales of heroism, no doubt.â Shadow Demon snorted. âI presume many of them will involve some kind of hero, perhaps a demi-god, crushing his enemies in a bloody war. Are they true? Who knows. It is possible. Demons and dragons are fanciful creatures. Zeus was mythical until he appeared before us, was he not? Although I cannot help but doubt as to whether or not he is the real Zeus...â He took a swig of wine. Delicious. If only Hell was able to support the mass growing of grapes... he paused and looked at Auroth as she finished what she was saying, before swivelling his head to look at a wall instead. âI could read it myself, if I really tried. But... I suppose... in the interests of efficiency, and all that...â He coughed into his fist. âI suppose... I mean, if it is not too much bother for you.â
He settled back on his cushion, still looking away, apparently embarrassed. He had never needed to read or write in Common, as those under his control could communicate in Ozkavosh. Learning was so low on his list of priorities, although he felt that maybe it was worth getting out of the way as soon as possible so this didnât happen again.
"Confess!"
Shadow Demon swayed out of the trees, a brown bottle in his hand, giggling to himself. â[Hey! You!]â he shouted uproariously, staggering over to Auroth, reeking of fiery alcohol. â[I have done⊠no⊠waitâŠ] I have done⊠I⊠fuck, why do you not speak our language, wyvern!?â A snarl, and muttering, before he started giggling again, flickering between Ozkavosh and Common. âI have indulged my baser desires and committed theft! Grahahahahaha! Ah, but not just any theft! [Not just any theft at all!]â He held out the hand not clutching the bottle, in which something glowedâŠ
It was a glittering jewel. In its heart seemed to flicker a flameâŠÂ âIt is a fire-opal! A rare stone forged in the heart of Hell! [It burns with the fires in which it was cut!] I saw it in the pocket of another demon lord while he⊠was busy⊠with an incubus, and I thought, I would like to have that! I had to leave my poor succubus where she lay, but it was worth it! Grahahahaha!â He lifted his head to the sky and laughed, taking another hearty swig from the bottle. â[Oh, fear not!] He will not notice, I have no doubt he has many.â Something seemed to pop into his head. âWould you like it? Do not ask me why I feel so generous! I am a generous demon! You are not getting any of my drink, though⊠[it is a rare vintage, I want it for myselfâŠ]â
the-winter-wyvern:
The sudden toss of the bottle shocked Auroth, the act entirely unexpected. But he did seem eager though, as he spoke his joys at being able to teach her, as well as a former student. He seemed like a fine teacher for her, much more respectful than most other demons, and easy to find due to his allegiance with the Dire. Right now certainly wasnât the time to be taught by him, though, his drunkenness clear. Instead she turned to the stone, which he now held out for her to take. Once more the Wyvern was reminded of itâs shimmering beauty, the way the orange swirled in it like the most menacing of wildfires. She wondered if there was a version of it for ice, where within the most fearsome of blizzards swirled. She would quite like that to decorate her home, perhaps even as a piece of jewellery for herself.Â
Taking the stone, Auroth hissed, itâs warmth unsurprising but nevertheless an irritation. She almost dropped it too, the weight it carried odd for such a little object. She was quick to freeze it in wintry ice so as to be able to hold it better. Who knows what would happen if it were to shatter, and the Wyvern didnât want to find out. It was quickly frozen in place to her back, the warmth it radiated making her want to scratch there, but she resisted. About to thank the Demon, she thought on her idea from earlier. âI donât suppose you would know where I could find a stone such as this imbued with ice?â she asked. He seemed to have great knowledge of such artifacts, hopefully he had an idea where she could find one. Perhaps a demon held one in hell, as he had held that one?  âI do love this, and I must thank you, but blue is more my color.â
Shadow Demon was on his knees, snarling with irritation as he clawed at the remains of his bottle. Why did he do that? What an absolute waste. When he spoke a second time, he sounded a little more like his usual self, if still a bit slurred. âIce? There is no such thing in Hell, it is too hot. Ahmâsol. Too much heat. Demons like to be reminded of their home, and so blue or green gemstones are scarce.â He stood, swaying slightly, sucking a bleeding finger. âPerhaps you should ask Lich, or Crystal Maiden. They may know of something similar. I am no geologist, I cannot name anything of the sort. Izhai ensh. Voâozh. Probably.â He kicked the neck of the bottle aside with disgust and began to stalk away, evidently in a foul mood. âCome later. I shall see if I can arrange lessons.â He shot over his shoulder, before melting into the gloom.
Classy Asks
Warrior: What's your weapon of choice?
Paladin: What's something you believe very strongly in?
Hunter: Your favourite animal? Post a picture!
Rogue: What's something you'd only do if you were offered a large sum of money to do it?
Priest: Confess something embarrassing or silly that you've never told your followers before! (Maybe it's just subtle mind control...)
Death Knight: Have you ever been forgiven for something you were sure would be the last straw?
Shaman: Would you favour Earth, Fire, Water, or Air, and why?
Mage: What were your favourite and least favourite subjects in school?
Warlock: If you had the chance to control another person's actions for the day, with no direct consequences, would you do it?
Monk: When's a time you were patient with someone, even though you didn't want to be?
Druid: Would you align yourself with the Claw, Grove, Talon, Fang, Antler, Saber, or Scythe? Or would you remain a Druid of the Wild? Why?
Demon Hunter: To what extent do you believe the end can justify the means?
Confess!
Somehow, likely through a curse, Auroth was drunk. Very, very drunk. She wandered around the dire encampment, her vision a blur, until she stumbled into the tent of the Shadow Demon. Glancing up and down at his body, a thought came into her mind that would not be recognisable as hers were she sober.
âI want to have sex with you,â she told the Shadow Demon in her most alluring voice possible.
the-winter-wyvern:
Giggling at his anger at her intrusion, Auroth remained in the doorway for now, waiting for his proper response. Surely he had heard what she had said? The Wyvern was about to repeat herself when the Demon once more turned around, his face in shock, his words matching his expression. She giggled again, even louder now, then entered the tent proper, crawling closer to the Demon, her tail ungraceful in her drunken form than the rest of her body, causing her to knock a torch to the ground which went out as it landed. Standing over the Shadow Demon now, the Wyvern spoke once more âI saidâŠâ
Placing a large blue claw at the center of his muscular chest, Auroth trailed it down slowly before eventually stopping right above his loincloth, where she traced back and forth. âI want to have sex with you,â she concluded, looking at him with bedroom eyes.
âWh-what has come over you?â Shadow Demon stuttered out, taken completely off-guard. Ordinarily he was unflappable, three steps ahead of everyone, and as a result he was unable to hide how flustered he was. He was pressed against his table by the drunken dragon, scrunching the map under his fingers, eyes glinting. His mind was racing as he tried to regain control of himself, but unfortunately for him, blood was flowing downstairs, not upstairs.
"Confess!"
Shadow Demon swayed out of the trees, a brown bottle in his hand, giggling to himself. â[Hey! You!]â he shouted uproariously, staggering over to Auroth, reeking of fiery alcohol. â[I have done⊠no⊠waitâŠ] I have done⊠I⊠fuck, why do you not speak our language, wyvern!?â A snarl, and muttering, before he started giggling again, flickering between Ozkavosh and Common. âI have indulged my baser desires and committed theft! Grahahahahaha! Ah, but not just any theft! [Not just any theft at all!]â He held out the hand not clutching the bottle, in which something glowedâŠ
It was a glittering jewel. In its heart seemed to flicker a flameâŠÂ âIt is a fire-opal! A rare stone forged in the heart of Hell! [It burns with the fires in which it was cut!] I saw it in the pocket of another demon lord while he⊠was busy⊠with an incubus, and I thought, I would like to have that! I had to leave my poor succubus where she lay, but it was worth it! Grahahahaha!â He lifted his head to the sky and laughed, taking another hearty swig from the bottle. â[Oh, fear not!] He will not notice, I have no doubt he has many.â Something seemed to pop into his head. âWould you like it? Do not ask me why I feel so generous! I am a generous demon! You are not getting any of my drink, though⊠[it is a rare vintage, I want it for myselfâŠ]â
the-winter-wyvern:
Spotting the Shadow Demon, Auroth cocked a brow. It was rare to see him out like this, giggling and staggering around. Was he drunk? Looking to his hands, she found a bottle. Yes, he was certainly drunk. As if the staggering around wasnât enough of a giveaway, but the thought that he might have been injured had crossed her mind. He seemed to speaking Ozkavosh, and from the little she knew she could make out a greeting. As he staggered closer, the foul smell of a fiery alcohol reached her nose. His next words she could only understand the referral to self, but after that it could mean anything, a sputtering of twisted sounds and nothing more to her ears. Quickly she understood as he explained it, although his abrasiveness made her brow crease. About to interject with a response, Auroth found herself cut off again as he spoke on, talking now of theft. She did not judge, of course, for she was a thief herself. As he moved his hand, the Wyvern watched for what it held.
The sight made her forget her previous disgruntlement, the stone red and glittering like a fire. Thankfully it seemed not to radiate heat, or else she might be more annoyed. Listening to his tale, Auroth found it interesting, but it seemed just another story of demonic sin and debauchery, nothing inspiring. When he made the offer though, the Wyvern was quite interested. âFirstly, I can speak some Ozkavosh. I am looking for a teacher, but we can discuss that later,â she spoke warmly, the annoyance that would have come with her words earlier not present now. âAs for the offerâŠI must accept. Such a stone as pretty as that would look good in the cover of a book. Thank you.â
He was halfway through draining the bottle, before he took a double-take and looked back at her incredulously. âWhy, I believe I can help you there!â he threw the bottle aside, ignoring the shattering glass, and clapped his hands together. âTruth be told, I have already been called upon to teach Ozkavosh to another! It was...â he trailed off, narrowing his eyes. âI almost gave away the secret... I keep my secrets... he asked me not to tell, so I shall not...â he waggled a finger at Auroth, grinning lazily. âYou almost wormed my secrets out of me! Do not be so... uh... whatever the word is. I am quite sure I am a capable teacher by this point. If you are less of a dunce than he was, I am sure it will go much smoother. I am in no condition to teach right now...â
âHere.â he held out the stone, which glittered fiery orange in the low light. In its heart roared an inferno, yet it was simply warm to the touch, like the gentle warmth of a candle. It was heavier than it looked, although there was no sign of a curse on it. âDo as you wish with it. Where did my drink go...â he turned away, looking around awkwardly.
((alright i got the reblog fix working, thank god))
â±
[Entry translated from Ozkavosh]
My cult is severely lacking in fountains of knowledge, especially after Red Silencer disappeared into the aether. As a result, she is as prime as a target as that Tinker Keen. However, unlike him, she is also quite attractive. I regret not having wings of my own. They are quite alluring. No doubt she hates demons like all the others, though. I do not blame her. We are a thoroughly unpleasant, uncultured lot.
((previous post until i work out how to trim))
Shadow Demon slid back down the ladder, sweeping towards the bookshelf. With a heave, he planted his shoulder against one end, shoving it closer to the trapdoor, the heavy case sliding over the carpeted floor without a significant amount of resistance. Before long he was passing up not one but multitudes of tomes at a time, eyes sparkling at all the spotless, well-cared for books. âAh, but this is wonderful! I can only imagine what sort of knowledge these volumes contain... perhaps magic? Although... I believe this religion was against sorcery... perhaps... as you say, stories?... [or sacred texts... that seems likely, yet they were apart from the others... perhaps they are books of science...]â he lapsed into his own tongue, mumbling to himself as he passed up books. Before long, most of the books were in neat piles on unmarked ground, begging to be flipped open and examined. Shadow Demon soon followed, carrying a few bottles under an arm and, apparently as an afterthought, a cushion.
He simply threw the cushion to the floor, sat down on it, and popped open the bottle with a clawed finger, taking a long swig. âThey do not have this drink in Hell. That small fruit needed to make it will not grow there. I rarely get to try it, which is even more of a pity than this ruined church, grahahahaha!â he answered an unasked question, picking up a book. He squinted at the cover, head tilted to the side. âM-maiths and Leg Ends? Legends? ...read this for me.â he snarled, holding up the book, which bore âMYTHS AND LEGENDSâ in brilliant gold. â[I hate reading this damn language...]â
HOW DO I TRIM POSTS
Thatâs how I do it.
((cheers for being patronising, but tumblr changed its post thingy, and i canât trim posts like this anymore. i tried to install a script, but it didnât work. i tried installing the new xkit, but i couldnât see an option to change this))
â±!! Eha Hah hahah! -boushthetinker
[Entry translated from Ozkavosh]
I am quite sure his innumerable talents would be of immense benefit to the expansion of my cult. Acquiring a number of Keens brings us ever closer to ascending to the stars, where my essence can spread indefinitely, unstoppable. I am also sure he would assist me with acquiring ever more knowledge. I must know more about everything.
HOW DO I TRIM POSTS
Your character has just discovered my character's journal/diary.
Leave a  Ⱡin my askbox for an entry thatâs about you.
Oh, dear! I hope that of all journals, the one thatâs missing doesnât happen to be the one I badmouth everyone whist embarrassing myself! Â
Myers-Briggs: ESFP Alignment: Neutral Good Kinsey Scale: 5 Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw Temperament: Sanguine
Myers-Briggs: INTJ Alignment: Lawful Neutral Kinsey Scale: Tie between X and 0 Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw Temperament: Melancholic
Myers-Briggs: ENTJ Alignment: Lawful Evil Kinsey Scale: 3 Hogwarts House: Slytherin Temperament: Choleric
What is this I hear about racism? I am disappointed, but not surprised, that the Radiant do not consider themselves above such things, as they do with just about everything else!
Nortrom sighs, voice sounding done with it all. âIâm not a racist, you idiot. Well, perhaps I am, but against your kind. Do kindly fuck off.â
demonicpurge:
Excluding individuals for traits they cannot control is no way to build an army.
âBut a perfect way to insure conflict is kept at a minimum. Do you honestly think daemon and angel would fight side by side without some sort of mind control? Easier to kill you and walk over your body than try.â
I was not talking about demons and angels! I meant humans of a darker skin tone.
What is this I hear about racism? I am disappointed, but not surprised, that the Radiant do not consider themselves above such things, as they do with just about everything else!
Nortrom sighs, voice sounding done with it all. âIâm not a racist, you idiot. Well, perhaps I am, but against your kind. Do kindly fuck off.â
Excluding individuals for traits they cannot control is no way to build an army.
