My shit are here >:)

I've been here since 2010, this is a random dump of stuff. Do not judge me.  

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[fleshdyke]

amogus being put down

[heliacal-paladin-deactivated202]

Why are you a furry?

[fleshdyke]

what

[heliacal-paladin-deactivated202]

The hands. They're paws.

[fleshdyke]

you know what? i dedicate this doodle sheet to you, tumblr user heliacal-paladin. you’ve won

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

still couldn't resist leaving some claws in

[fleshdyke]

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[fleshdyke]

STOP BULLYING ME

[strangermask]

I feel like this post is gonna be a tumblr heritage post one day

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it would explain so much about Gotham economics if it turned out the only employers who pay a livable minimum wage are 1) Wayne Enterprises duh, but mainly 2) all of Gotham's assorted villains.

sure henching comes with shitty working conditions, but the benefits package is crazy competitive. they have dental

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Gotham's villains are so engrained because supervillainy is the only thing propping up the local economy. henching requires no work experience, provides on-the-job training, and has a diversity hiring program (you're willing to commit crimes in tacky matching uniforms? great you're in, here's your gun and clownsuit)

Batman is constantly throwing money trying to compete but the fact remains that henchpeople are Gotham's largest workforce and will be until minimum wage laws catch up to reality

[fall-out-girlboy]

even educated jobs in environmental science are probably getting laundered money from poison Ivy. and a lab equipment tech might notice three different jobs are tied to pamela Isley and also happened to receive grants from "unrelated" shady shell orgs and the next one is setting up a temperature controled penguin habitat for some eccentric obvious mobster.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

half of Gotham's supervillains have doctorates of course they're also funding the sciences (for crime purposes but still)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we need a new supervillain who gets drawn into villainy specifically to make money for funding grants. they come up with a theme and wacky outfit and loony backstory but at the end of the work day they change back into their alter ego (tired scientist with bags under their eyes and a hotpocket stuck in their labcoat). they're actually very mild mannered irl—the villain persona comes from their background in Theatre Arts

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

[orcboxer]

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

[luthqrs]

I FOUND THE. FISH CAN’T SIN POST.

[the-august-one]

I had to do it.

[fiddlepickdouglas]

I've been put in the tank 😔

[thistle-onions]

[chronicallyhomoerotic]

this is a poem. To me.

[beggars-opera]

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

[formerlyanon]

and we need that! keeps us humble. 

[dabouse]

Then I'm just like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AN ADULT

[tomboy014]

It goes the other way, too, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A CHILD?!!

[dabouse]

I'm 16, that's like, barely a child

[tomboy014]

I'm in my 30s. You are baby

[digitaldiscipline]

I'm older than both of you in a trenchcoat.

[kabretoss]

honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.

[evilnicegirl]

maybe there never were any twin towers. like did u ever see them?

[nypaingers]

So I know all you kids are joking around but no, you’re not allowed to make jokes about this. No.

[evilnicegirl]

[trash-panda-gorl]

Can’t just leave this in the tags, @the-starboy-symbiont

[ludicrouscheeseburger]

All of the above, plus:

For years after 9/11 we were constantly told “NEVER FORGET” and the idea was basically “keep feeling sad and afraid and especially ANGRY forever; don’t let time dull your emotional response like it’s naturally supposed to; continue to justify the injustices by feeling this way all the time.” And the 3000 deaths were constantly pointed to as this huge deal that justified any lengths to go to.

And then Covid hit. And there were several points during the height of the pandemic (because fun fact, according to the actual definitions of a pandemic, *it’s not technically over yet!* ) where we were having a 9/11’s worth of deaths every week or so. And suddenly 3000 deaths were not a big deal at all. Instead of being enough reason to go to war far away and strip us at home of many rights too, they weren’t even enough justification to make people wear a damn piece of fabric over their face.

3000 people died once and now the government can legally wiretap anyone without a warrant, and hold people at Gitmo under suspicion of terrorism (no need for due process)… 3000 people dying every week but we should all still be going out to brunch and concerts and who cares about the disabled and immunocompromised?

Something in me broke. Make all the 9/11 jokes you want.

[paper-mario-wiki]

heading out the door

[identifying-cellphones-in-posts]

Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra (2021)

[paper-mario-wiki]

oh yeah smart guy?

what's this one called?

[identifying-cellphones-in-posts]

Samsung Galaxy A30 (2019)

[paper-mario-wiki]

WRONG it's a Huawei P Smart Plus from 2018

[identifying-cellphones-in-posts]

I... was wrong? N-no.... its... impossible!

I made all the proper calculations... The dual camera, the separated flash, the fingerprint scanner!! Even the holo type backglass! My deduction was perfect-

Wh-what?!?!

The... the color..!! Whats going on here? You mean its not a trick of the light, but a gradient design?! Such an obvious tell, and I missed it?! No, that... thats impossible!!!

This can't be!!! I'll be ruined!! MY REPUTATION AS A GIMMICK BLOG!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[animentality]

[poppyseed-art]

[asksloyxp]

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

[shinyrock6498]

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

[asksloyxp]

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

[serpentstones-blog1]

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

[serpentstones-blog1]

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

[sunny-draws-things]

GUYS PIRATING IS BAD.

DO NOT PIRATE ANYTHING. NOT SHOWS/MOVIES. NOT GAMES OR SAFER GAMES. AND CERTAINLY NOT BOOKS. AND DO NOT DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS. AND NEVER EVER EVER WATCH MUSICALS WITHOUT GOING TO THEM AND DONT USE ADBLOCKERS/OTHER ADBLOCKER TO AVOID ADS AND VIRUSES PIRATING IS VERY HARMFUL TO THE CORPORATIONS WHO WORKS VERY HARD TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE AND THEIR MONEY. ANYONE WHO PIRATES IS BAD. BAD PIRATING. EVIL. OH AND THIS

[ooppo]

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

[ooppo]

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[forlornmuskeg]

[morepopcornplease]

fake Goncharov fans don’t even realize that Scorsese did NOT direct the 1973 cult classic. he was executive producer. 🤦‍♀️

The actual director is Natted JWHJ0715, and they deserve credit!!!

[onstoryladders]

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

[official-lucifers-child]

[oneheadtoanother]

are you lost little boy

[oneheadtoanother]

This is so much funnier than my caption, dammit

[mullet-man05]

I'm right where I want to be

[mullet-man05]

Also hey you cut off the part where I support the Oregon Ducks. We just beat UW a few hours ago, sco Ducks!

[i-am-shitpost]

[mullet-man05]

Lmfaoooo this is hilarious

[drmace]

If anyone ever asked Gortash about it, he'd probably say something like this