A Pandemic, New Station, and What’s so Hard: Deployment during COVID-19
I got inspired by Tess Koman, a senior editor at Delish, who has been with her husband for ten years. She said the same advice that I was told and have told others: the best relationships are easy. I’ve changed my mind.
Any relationship, romantic or not, takes a little TLC. In our case, a little more than normal. We’re on separate coasts now (me on the west, him on the east) and it is harder some days. In my overly prepared mind, I read every article that I could to scope out advice that would help me. It was the same answers: stay busy, find a hobby, etc. Another spouse online had a more realistic response: This time apart will not grow easier, it will become more tolerable. I agree (to some extent) but it is still damn hard.
Today was the first full epitome of a terrible, no good day. I have scoliosis in my lower back and it affects all of my lower joints; my pain level is at an 8. I didn’t sleep well at all and this morning also turned into me ordering two cups of coffee with my to go order (not intentionally). Normally, my husband would be here and just let me be quiet while making sure that I didn’t stop eating because my anxiety is higher than normal. It would also just be a day where I sit there watching him play games. I found that comforting more than anything else. This is my new normal and I don’t like it (but I’ll make the best out of it since it’s temporary).
On a typical day for me, there’s a flow to the day: I text him first thing in the morning. He gets back to me when he can since there’s things he has to take care of. Then, I text him about some things I’m doing during the day. He sends me a silly text. We usually FaceTime on Sundays (didn’t happen this week but it’s understandable). Daily texts are working in our favor. It’s usually a good night text and that’s it.
I don’t have to wonder when we’ll face time again. I can only ask when we can see each other again; the military travel ban hasn’t been lifted as of yet and there’s so much uncertainty. We have (had?) plans for my birthday this year that we’ll be in Las Vegas seeing a show. Maybe there’s a grand tour of the east coast in October.
We don’t have to have say much to say how we feel about this: we miss each other, we love each other, and this time apart will pass. And then, with our plans for the future, we will start our lives together again.