Mar 16
How do I explain that my rape & kidnapping kinks largely derive from a deep insecurity that people only pretend to want me around out of socially obligated politeness or pity. That every relationship might just be a kind farce, that maybe I’m just a chore to keep around, or a charity project, and I’ll never know for sure.
It’s the idea that someone could, in such an overwhelming way, desire me. So much so that they’d break social, moral, and literal law to have me. It doesn’t matter how much I protest— they won’t be deterred. This is purely for them, not me. It’s an expression of Want so raw and ugly and selfish that it leaves no room in my mind for doubt, and all I can think is, “Huh. They’re not pretending.”
