Wyvern @depressedgiraffe216 - Tumblr Blog

My dad is excitedly urging me to homebrew a "Redneck Realm" into my D&D campaign after I showed him a redneck meme

#he said the location should be called the backwards bayou #hes actually kinda cooking #dungeon master #dungeons and dragons #dnd

Okay listen idc if you can convince some of the BG3 bosses to off themselves, I WANNA FIGHT THEM

I WANNA DO RIDULOUS AMOUNTS OF DAMAGE

I WANNA CAST FIREBALL

RAAAAAAAAAA

#i say im there to date the pretty boys but really i just crave violence #out of my way astarion time to go murder a hag #kissing? how about killing #baldur's gate 3 #bg3

I am losing all of my marbles over the official future Raph and Donnie designs.

#WE CALLED THE EYEPATCH #donnies overalls are everything #i am so normal about this #might go cry in the bathroom for a bit #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #future raph #future donnie #future raphael #future donatello

I know it's been a while so here have a meme I made

#the fight was depressingly easy #killed him in less than 2 full rounds after he transformed #literally surrounded him like some kinda cult #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #bg3 ketheric #bg3 tav #tav

My current plans for my new homebrew campaign

- Session 1: find a future magic dealer's stolen staff

- Session 2: witness an act of terrorism

#collective terror does wonders for party dynamics #only a few hundred people are gonna die it's fine #dungeon master #dm #dungeons and dragons #dnd

Me: oh let's write a document of things to address during the upcoming Session 0, it probably won't be too long

The document: 3,000 words

Me: ...okay so it's a little longer than I expected

#in my defense i spelled out a lot of etiquette stuff cuz i have some new players #im also a big fan of homebrew rules so that doesnt help either #dungeon master #dungeons and dragons #dnd

Okay so I'm fleshing out a player's backstory for my new campaign, and towards the end we're discussing her parents, and this is what happened:

Me: "Right, and things sorta just happened in a way where you guys never ended up crossing paths afterward."

Player: "Yeah, unless you wanna do something like that in the campaign or something."

Me: [slowly turns in awe of this player's audacity to imply that I don't already plan on integrating every single minute detail of her character's history into my story arcs]

(For additional context, I am the kind of DM that aggressively writes everything around the characters and begs her players for details and any ideas for secrets/twists)

#i am a schemer dm #so many schemes #all the schemes #dungeon master #dungeons and dragons #dnd

JUST HAD GALE'S CONFESSION SCENE

ACTUALLY CRYING

#his face when i said he didnt need to impress me with the weave #broke me #my sweet boy #he looks so hopeful and at peace now #so yeah going to therapy after this haha #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep

Me: okay I'm focusing on romancing Gale for my first run

Halsin: Forgive me. Sometimes I forget myself, gazing on the beauty of nature's creations.

Me: HALSIN YOU ARE MAKING THINGS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN THEY NEED TO BE

#im dedicating an entire run to romancing halsin later #druid rizz is too powerful #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #halsin #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 halsin

I am so normal about the cartoon alien robots who turn into various vehicles

#no im not #send help #optimus prime my beloved #bumblebee my baby boy #JAZZ MY MAN #transformers

Me: sees an edit of a new anime in my feed

Me: sighs and opens my to-watch list

#its not always a hot 2d man thing either #like i just saw the cutest clip from a new romance where the male love interest was doing the BARE MINIMUM #and immediately i was like #welp now i gotta watch it #i've been digging this grave for so long #would be a shame to stop now #anime

THE PERCY JACKSON SHOW IS ON DISNEY+ I'M LOSING ALL MARBLES AAAAAAAA

#8yo me is over the moon #i'm so excited #time for Biblically accurate persassy #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo

One of my players called Strahd a "gaudy ass bitch" to his face and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to break character and bust out laughing

#dnd strahd #curse of strahd #strahd von zarovich #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master

I present to you: some fun things I've had Strahd say to the party thus far

"I'm going to interpret that as a compliment for the sake of diplomatic relations."

"Can we have a conversation, or do you have a few more Fireballs you need to cast first?"

"I do believe a welcoming banquet is in order, as long as you fix your manners."

#i made him sassy #so sassy #all the attitude #curse of strahd #strahd von zarovich #dnd strahd #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master

depressedgiraffe216

You're not a good DM unless your party craves your untimely death at least once over the course of the campaign

depressedgiraffe216

"You son of a bitch."

"Bastard."

"I know where you live."

Last night's session was fun :)

#legit my fav session i've had the pleasure of running #party lost their shit several times #if i don't post anytime soon you know who killed me

You're not a good DM unless your party craves your untimely death at least once over the course of the campaign

#i'm running Curse of Strahd and decided to have him capture some beloved NPCs #if this account goes dark then my players have killed me #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master

Me, looking at the current book I'm reading: nah, I'm not gonna stay awake long enough to finish a chapter

Also me, looking at a 130k+ fic: ah yes, a quick bedtime story before I go eepy

#you can smell the hyperfixation from a mile away #does time blindness apply to reading #ao3 #fanfic

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