With Honesty

This is a blog of a lady with a heart of a little girl. It is her honest opinions, views and questions in life. So honest that sometimes it will make you cringe, so honest that sometimes it is annoying how innocence covered her within years, yet so honest that it will make you see her deeper. A lady who fell in love with words without knowing how.It is all about her thoughts on her experience, devotion and reflection. A lady who is a child of God and continue speaking up for Him.

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:) @instagodministries ♥

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My feet on top of the world. 😊

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I have no excuse. #quiettime #JOB #bible #withhonesty #word

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The possibilty of "US" #writing #love #withhonesty

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Know the difference. Learn when to stop not because you do not care but because there are things you need to stop doing for them to learn. Next time, do things with all your might but always have a discerning heart. Ask yourself, is it still wise or not? #notetoself #reflection #journal

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I think not wanting to read the bible has deeper meaning than being lazy or all knowing. People who do not want to read the bible sometimes are too afraid to anything they could find in this powerful book. After all, many has been its witness. Many has testified. People who refused to read their bible sometimes do not want to find that they are wrong with their long-time held beliefs. They have this pride, not wanting to be corrected. Not wanting to learn. They become so stagnant and afraid of exploring at all. They are afraid that just like many, something will change within them. In short, FEAR is what they have. Sometimes, led to idiocy I want to testify that, I as a book reader, even though read books about spirituality, psychology/self-help, I will always go back to His words. I will always go back to my Lord's word. Because what this book said thousands and thousands years ago could still stand alone and hold souls. Restores them, confirms them, affirms them. This very book being thrown out by some people has changed lives. Lives seem so desperate, so cruel and hopeless by other people. Yet, lives need to be mended and healed by God's eyes. I.e. my own life #bible #reflection #journal

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The sadness. #gettingover #season #journal #writing

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Falling all over again with this fact. The very truth of the first love story ever! #reminded #revelation #salvation #quiettime #Titus #nobackingout

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You are not the only one who needs His words. You heard it all, you know you are saved but how about the girl across you? How about that crying woman while talking to her husband? How about that someone you know who thinks having much money is enough to live and be filfulled? You are blessed and privileged to hear the gospel but it is not just your soul that needs assurance, security, love and especially Jesus. The problem to us, Christians, is we live in our comfort zone. Or, we live in fear. We live in contentment of the thought that we are saved. We have a place in heaven. But we cannot see the grieving eyes of God for that someone who doesn't know Him. We need to wake up that in this world it is not about us, it is not about our place nor everything we could have. It is about leaving the mark of Jesus in other people's heart. You are a Christian, act like it. #discipleship #Jesus #reminded #fornextgeneration #worthit

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Women, the brief attention you get when you post your seductive selfie won't satisfy you. You do not have to do that. Sa madaling salita, hindi ang atensyon ng iba ang makakapagpaligaya sayo. At lalong hindi mo kailangang ipakita ang lahat ng meron ka sa buong mundo. Jesus gives His full attention to your life and to your heart even without your sensual and seductive poses. That's how worthy you are! :) #worth #womanhood #ladies #Jesus #truelove

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#literary #guitarman #thought #sleepythought

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Hahahaha! ♥♥ 5/7 #HarryPotter #orderofthephoenix #2014GOAL

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Why? Because u r called in that season. And I realized it is what most people is trying to to find out. A sens if calling. A sense of purpose. No matter how old you are nor how much success you have, you'll always have that question in mind. Asking if you've fulfilled enough. But the truth is, if you're not doing what you're called for then you are not fulfilw anything. You're just making an excuse. Doing an excuse. Yet. Yet, how would you respond if He asks you 'Is it worth it?'. How would you answer? #calling #MarthaandMary #devotion #quiettime #iyaknalangLord :') ♥♥

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♥ Great reminder that His thoughts are more than enough. #blessed #awestruck #WOW

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The Prayer.

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#2

I never thought a person's mind could think of someone over and over again. It seems like it never gets tired to trace your face and say your name. Each day, convincing myself to focus on other things is what I do, but my eyes only see you.

 I thought it will go on forever. Seeing your shadows everywhere even my eyes closed. I thought it goes on forever, to see your smiles even in my dreams. But reality strikes and takes me back. It gripped me down and said  the truth. You are alive, not just in my unseen world. You are alive and living your own. In your place, in your list and in your unconscious is somewhere I don't exist.

  So I have decided to completely forget. I made up my mind that your name would be forbidden words to utter. I have decided to take a leap and move on. To delete everything about the false memories I have hidden. To see you in a light how others look at you. And not to think the way I think about you. I made up my mind to let go of the view I have for you within.

  I would stop writing your name and describing the beauty you give whenever I have a glimpse of your eyes. I would stop carving it deeper all the way to my heart. I have loved you the way I write words. I'll let go of you the way I supposed to not love fragments and poems. Unwillingly yet a necessity. 

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Essence of being a woman- Lost has been found.

I grew up, though not literally, alone. I do not have sibling to play with nor cousins at that time. I was raised to be smart, firm and strong. My mother placed it in my heart. I was supposed to be that woman. I stopped playing dolls younger than everyone else because they were being cut and thrown when I didn't want to study. But at that time, my heart said other meanings behind those happenings. Girls, for them to be tough, are not allowed to play  those dolls.

Nowadays, I am reading a book entitled "Captivating". I read things  that I thought I was the only one whofelt those feelings. I knew women felt rejection too but I was enlightened of the pain they are going through. It was the same pain I had and still, sometimes, have. The pain of being restricted, to act as a lady that based on traditions and not on complete surrender to the Maker of Heaven and Earth. It was suffocating. Tiring. I thought I got over with this but opening up the layers of my heart, I found wounds unhealed, wounds hidden and falsely mended. I know my worth, thank God it has been restored, but  the complete act in accordance to my worth is a different thing. Because even  though I have learned that I am worthy enough that someone died for my name, part of me cannot believe that my name, history, and future has been engraved in the skin of a Man 2000 years ago. That my name is also the  reason that a heart of God has been slashed and butchered by sin.  I still have guilt and shame.

But God, without my knowing, found and pursued the little girl in me. For her to stand up and be with Him. I asked myself, how long has God been following this little girl within me? How long am I being pursued? Yes, I am being pursued. I realized my God is not just a God who is faithful, He  is a lover. A pursuer of my heart. And a mender of the broken parts. It brings me to tears when I see how God continues to woo me. To kiss me and embrace me when I feel so alone in this world, even when I became a Christian. I thought I lacked quiet times with Him. But He makes me realize that I am made this way. I am made to long for something that I do not know. And that is for me to be drawn in His presence. And nothing is better than being cradled by  someone who has love that never fails.

I am on my way back. I am ready to be healed. Slowly and even painfully. To open up the wounds again. To accept that I do not have to be strong in wrong areas of life. I do not have to hold back tears when I am in pain nor to tell everyone I am fine even my heart is tearing apart. Because I am a woman. A symbolism of the femininity of God. A representation that God, too is wanting intimacy from all of us.

This could be a long journey, And this post is somewhat random. I know. But the overflowing message is just too much top describe in details. But I could state it like this: I am a woman. God wants me to be a woman. A lady who will represent His care and love. To  tell the world that God has a balance. If man is made to be a warrior, I am made to be captivating. Those feelings within me are normal for it is God telling us that He too, wants to have a relationship with us.