don&#x27;t stand so close to me . . .

Look After You || Dienna

Sienna’s head shook quickly as she forced a small smile. “You don’t need to say anything. I get it.” Her smile faltered as he referred to them as friends. That’s what they were, yes. But hearing it out loud, coming from him, just made Sienna want to break down all over again. She knew this was the best she could get if she wanted to still be close to Derek and still get along with him, but it didn’t hurt any less. His next words though, those returned the smile to her lips. “You don’t need to thank me. If there’s anyone I’d share this with, it’s you.” Sienna was glad that Derek agreed to leave with her instead of insisting of going anywhere else. She nodded her head slowly, glancing down at their hands before they started walking back to the car.

Once the car started moving away from the cemetery, Sienna felt as if a load had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt relieved, calmer. The worst part was over and she was closer to going home. As they drove toward the hotel, she noticed the sky darkening as they went and suddenly, she felt much more tired than she had before. She yawned softly as they parked the car in front of the hotel, quickly getting out and entering the hall. As they headed directly to the elevators, Sienna’s hand found Derek’s once more, holding on to it as if her life depended on it. The elevator ride was silent, neither of them needing to say anything at that moment. Once they arrived on their floor and finally entered the room, Sienna let go of his hand, placing her purse on the chair before she took a seat on the edge of the bed as she kicked off her shoes. “I feel like I could go into another coma.” She tried to joke lightly, though the mood was much too dark for it to be any sort of funny.

The silence between them felt heavy, both of them exhausted from the past few days and especially that day itself, but it still didn't seem awkward. It was nice to be able to be with Sienna without feeling like he had to say anything. Once again, their same wave length was obvious, a mutual understanding between both of them as they got back to her hotel room.

With the joke she made after they had walked in, Derek couldn't help but glare at Sienna, although his glare was playful. “Too soon,” he declared, shaking his head. “You can start with those jokes a week from now, at the earliest.” He watched her kick off her shoes, standing there awkwardly for a moment. Derek wasn't sure whether he was supposed to stay or not, or if he should book himself a new hotel room just for the night. “Uh..” There was a certain questioning look to his eyes as he looked at her, not knowing how to ask. Sure, he had spent most of his time during the last several days with her, but that was at the hospital, and maybe she was already annoyed by him now and wanted her privacy. “Do you want me to.. leave you alone for the night? So you can get some real rest?” he asked finally, looking down at his shoes while he waited for an answer.

Look After You || Dienna

The look on Derek’s face when Sienna pulled back from their hug nearly broke her heart. He seemed to really be feeling her pain, which made her feel guilty. He shouldn’t have to be watching her like that. When he reached for her cheek, her head tilted to the left, leaning into his soft touch. “You’re the first person I ever told about him. Up until now, I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him… Or even think about it.” His voice was almost as rough as hers, though her crying had made it hard for her to speak. Her throat was dry and she was sure her eyes were swollen as well. His next words almost made her cringe but she was able to stop herself from showing it. Reaching up, she rested her own free hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze. “It’s not your pain to carry. But…Maybe someday it’ll be easier.” Sienna knew it wouldn’t. She knew she would never be able to let go of her brother and the pain his death caused her. But maybe if she sounded convincing enough, she’d be able to believe it someday.

After a moment’s hesitation, Sienna pulled Derek’s hand to her own, intertwining their fingers as she lowered their joined hands. She forced out a small smile before she stepped away from him and placed the picture back in its place. She wanted to take it with her, to add it to the collection she already had but she knew this was its right place. Sighing, she finally turned back to Derek once more. “Can we…go now? I’m not so hungry anymore…”

“I understand. I really do. It can be hard to..” He let his voice trail off, not even sure where he was going with it. Derek didn't want to pretend like he knew how much this hurt, like he could begin to understand how it made Sienna feel. “I'm sorry. I really don't know what to say. I just..” Taking a deep breath, he paused, finally deciding not to tell her how he just wanted to hold her and shelter her from all the hurt, since he knew it was already much too late for that. “I know, I know. But that's what friends do. Share the pain,” he said quietly, looking down at their hands. “And I want to say thank you. For letting me come here with you and for sharing all of this with me.” Swallowing slightly, he looked back up into her eyes, hoping she could see just how much it meant to him.

Once Sienna intertwined their hands, Derek slowly let go of her and let her place the picture back down. “Yes, we can go,” he replied quickly, brushing his thumb along the back of her hand. “I'm not really hungry either, don't worry. We can.. just go back to the hotel, alright?” he suggested as they started walking back to the car.

Look After You || Dienna

Sienna smiled sadly as she stared at the picture. She remembered clearly the last time she saw that face and the things they talked about. For a moment, it was like no time at all had passed. Her head nodded at Derek’s question before she finally glanced up. “He was my best friend. I never thought I would lose him so soon.” Sienna ran her fingers through the photo again. “I know… Thank you.” She didn’t have time to say anything else before Derek pulled her into a hug. She froze in her place, surprised by his reaction but soon allowed herself to just let him comfort her, even for just a little bit. The hand that wasn’t holding the picture frame wrapped around his waist while the only rested limply at her side and she closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself not to cry again.

She wasn’t sure how long the hug lasted for, but Sienna didn’t want to let go. With a deep breath, she opened her eyes, her head resting on his shoulder silently. “He died in a car accident… But it was my dad’s fault.” She finally pulled away enough to look at Derek, sniffling softly as she wiped away a tear. “My dad didn’t react very well when C-…he told him about his power. He got so mad…” Sienna had to pause for a moment. It was harder to talk about it than thought, she couldn’t even bring herself to say his name out loud. Not without breaking down again and she didn’t want that. “So he just ran away. And then died four months later.”

“He was so young..,” Derek mumbled more to himself than to Sienna, the dates of birth and death still fresh in his mind without having to look at them. He was glad Sienna accepted his hug after a moment where he thought she would pull away or push him away. His one arm was wrapped around her tightly, while the other hand came up to softly stroke her hair, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her head. He just held her for a while, allowing her to lean into him and to hopefully feel comfortable in his arms. When she started explaining, he didn't pry and just let her tell the story on her own terms, trying to understand how hard it had to be for her.

She pulled back to look at him and when she wiped away a tear, Derek couldn't help but cup her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “I'm so sorry that happened to him. And to you and Amelia,” he said softly. “I understand now why you were so hesitant about your parents. I.. I'm very sorry.” His voice was a little shaky, because as much as he tried to contain himself, seeing her in so much pain and knowing exactly why hurt him more than he wanted to let on. “I honestly.. I honestly don't know what to say.” He took a deep breath before speaking again, in a quiet, barely audible voice. “I just wish I could take the pain away. I wish I could carry at least some of it for you.”

I...

I—! I…I’m s-sorry…

H-how do you know that if I d-don’t even kn-know th-that? I’m…I’m trying n-not to, b-but I want to…n-no, I don’t want to…god!

[falls to his knees, clutching his head and sobbing] I’m s-sorry, so sorry, I…

S'alright. I just won't tolerate your yelling. Neither you nor I deserve that.

Because I know you. And because I know that, deep down, you love me. There, I said it for you. You love me and I love you, and that's why neither of us would hurt the other.

[kneels down and pulls him into his arms again] No.. no, don't apologize for something you didn't do.

I...

I KNOW IT’S NOT! THAT’S THE WHOLE GODDAMNED POINT!

It’s…it’s there. [points to chest, digs finger into the scar and hisses] I…I wanted it. It’s m-mine. I…dammit, I w-want…want to tell you…

I d-don’t w-want to h-hurt y-you. I can’t…th-they did this to me…

Okay, wow. Inside voice. I just want to make sure that you know this isn't because of you.

Alright. Careful there. [puts a hand over Kaleb's, trying to get him to loosen the grip] I know, Kaleb. I know. You don't need to tell me. I know.

You won't hurt me. No matter what, I know you'd never do it. I trust you. Remember?

I...

They…it w-wasn’t m-my f-fault. I…they k-killed…

Broke—broke me, b-burned me, sc-scars…healed. Not all. Not…n-not gone. I c-can’t…trying…

N-no. I just…stay home. P-please?

Listen to me. No one says it's your fault. It's not.

O-okay.. okay. Do you want to show me? Your.. scars? You don't have to. It doesn't matter either way. I love all of your scars. I love all of you.

Yes, alright. We will stay home. Home. Our home. It doesn't feel like home without you.

I...

W-wish…wish I w-was.

I l-lo…I…no, I h-love….I…

Th-they took me, took my…my mind, it’s…my h-hands, leg, chest, they all…

Please don't cry, my love. It will all be alright. I promise.

Sh.. no, you don't need to-- I know. Just let me hold you and listen to me, listen to me tell you how much I love you and how much I care about you. I just need you to understand.

Are you hurt? Do you want me to take you somewhere? The hospital?

I...

Took me, they…hate, you, me—K-Killer, I…no, NO! I d-don’t want—h-hate…y-you…

N-NO. I…

D-Derek…

#we can ignore the loopy bloodsharing thing yes xD

Tell me later. We'll fix this. Now I'm just happy to have you back. Alive. I was so worried, I thought--

I love you, Kaleb. I love you so much, do you hear me?

I...

NO, Y-YOU!—you…they took, took me…t-took it all away…my ch-chest, it…

LET GO OF ME!

They took you? The Pures? What.. what did they do to you? No, no. They didn't take everything from you. You still have me. You always have me Forget it, I'm not letting you go.

I...

NO! Get the hell away from me, you…you…y-you did this, you all…did this…!

I did what? Look for you everywhere? Worry myself sick? Sure, guilty. But if you think I'm letting you go, you're wrong.

I...

You-- you're here...

Someone decided to come wake me up at 4am

Can’t you ever have fun without a penis being involved?

Yeah, it is. It’s just a lot of work. I think they do it just to make me tired.

Yeah, I got it. I would love to see you in a day care.

No, because it just happens to be attached to me, so if I wanted to have fun without it, I'd have to cut it off. No, thank you.

Really? I don't think so. The easter bunny just wants to see what a clever egg hunter you are.

Ha. Ha ha. No, I wouldn't love that at all.

Someone decided to come wake me up at 4am

I don’t know…David passed out on it earlier and he’s a little bigger than you are…I think you’ll fit. Or we can make a blanket fort.

Yeah! But they always put them all over the island, so it’s a lot of work.

I know, but I meant maybe as in if you ever needed to get away you could come. Besides, I know how much you love children.

Blanket fort sounds.. fun, I guess? Just need someone to make out with in it. Err, I mean, cuddle. Or whatever.

But.. it's also a lot of fun. Right?

Thank you. I'll definitely keep that in mind. Right now, I just.. want to be home. Absolutely love them. Nothing makes me happier.

Someone decided to come wake me up at 4am

Sure is! You can try it sometime if you want.

The Easter Bunny found me there last year!

Sorry! I’ve got two brothers, a sister-in-law, a niece and possibly a boyfriend coming along. We’re a bit full. Maybe next time.

I'm not sure there would be enough stuffed animals for me to go around.

That's good to know.. I guess. Looking forward to the easter egg hunt yet?

...I was kidding. Not that I'm the right person to come on a family trip. But hey, it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Someone decided to come wake me up at 4am

I’m waiting for her to crash on the bed of stuffed animals she has set up in my living room.

We’re going for Easter!

It’s her Spring Break too so we’re taking a family trip to our house in Spain.

That's adorable.

You think the easter bunny will find you in Spain?

Makes sense. And you didn't ask me to come along? I'm insulted.

Anyone seen my boyfriend?

No one’s talking about killing anyone. It was going to be just a phone call, remember? But you’re right. It’s best for them not to know that Kaleb knows us. But what else can we do? Sit around and wait? Go out and look around random places?