desert cruiser.

23 / proud owner of a slayer ankle tattoo / squaring up with an old man, yelling 'whatcha gonna do about it, pops?'

[desert-cruiser]

there is no shame like the silence that follows after telling someone you’re working on a zine

[desert-cruiser]

I want to walk around at shows with a sign that says “I have better taste than these fuckin’ kids but I’m still 20 years behind please cut me some slack”

[desert-cruiser]

i was so confident in my ability to be carnivorous

and when i tried

i am doomed i am doomed i am doomed

[desert-cruiser]

II

Why is it that the internet no longer feels anonymous? I don't feel nearly as able to sink into a new identity online the way I did when I was 14, 15. Is it because my identity is better developed now, or because I have an objective understanding of how easy it is to track someone down online?

I remember when it was just LiveJournal and whatever screen name you thought would make you look the coolest.

[desert-cruiser]

I

This last month has been... real cool.

I no longer have the fighting urge to write down everything I'm thinking and publish it for the entire internet to see the way I did when I was 14. I don't really know what this blog is going to be about!

There isn't that much to say anymore. I'm old now (22!) I'm aging out of the period where it's cool to be self-loathing, now it's just trauma. Now it's just making relationships hard. Now I'm just fighting myself.

I'm well on my way to becoming "work mom" to someone else in their 20s, which is code for having bad boundaries. I'm 26, she's 21, we pretend I give good advice because I let her overshare. It's symbiotic.