Behind The Facade @desolatenova - Tumblr Blog

Goodnight Love

Silence rings clear in here It sounds like a girl emotionally dying It's also one crying herself to sleep Wishing...never mind it's a waste Of energy wishing for something That will never be

thebabyanimals

this baby animal blog will make you smile!

Another beautiful sunset with underline of depressed heart

Blood Sweat and Tears

Oh lovely brain You love to make my life a living hell Ah my lovely heart I didn't think you'd show Always showing how lonely I am I'm sitting here crying Not because of a sappy scene But because I want you to show An ounce a fucking ounce That you even love me That you want me to be with me But I yet even when I don't see it My heart tells my brain To put a little trust in your heart Then my brain yells back I'm won't and she needs to Leave while your still whole Then my heart goes No she won't Then I curl up and cry And cry until I pass out Then wake up Look at my phone And see I have yet again Got nothing from you But I won't leave Because I don't leave I get left behind I love too hard & trust too much

Just let me be...

I don't deserve any fucking comfort, food, love or anything all I do is make my relationship end by being myself and when I try to help I fuck up and make it worse then I try to fix myself and I can't do that since I don't know how to not contradict myself wanting to be alone but hide in the open *sigh* Just kill me now I'm doing anyone any good....

Best Friend Award

Quiet down people give a round of applause for the greatest BFFs for the following oh there seems to be a mistake in the list looks like the young Nova just disqualified herself for saying something stupid and ruined her friend's mood *walks up to nova and rips the medal off* Do you even think before you speak you damn moronic idiot...

I hate being insecure. I have two guys dump me and not to my face either through someone else or fucking through Skype but they both fell out of love with me and ditched me for someone else and left me thinking I'm not good enough for anyone and question that if I don't text or call them once a day I'll be forgotten and left for a better person it makes me feel so weak like I feel like the dead grass people walk on *sigh* why can't I just be secure confident and pretty....

It hurts less to scratch my nails against my arm and lose the one thing I love fall for someone who is not you and it hurts less than lose the once thing that kept you sane be ripped from your hold than being with your best friend bragging how happy they are while I sit there wanting to yell at you to shut up your piece of shit mouth cuz if you don't I may end doing something worse than ending my life you may lose me as a friend you may need me but I don't need to be fucking stabbed with a spike of your happy emoji that defines your life I don't need to be shown how far behind in life I am to you and don't question me when you see new scars tomorrow

Sometimes the want to be alone is so strong that ones total demeanor changes from "Meh" to "Fuck you, now leave me alone" and sometimes I don't wanna even be near people I like to be near and asking questions about my mood irritates someone more and you should just leave them be

Until...

I'll wait... To see the mischievous glimmer in your eyes when messing with someone To hear your laugh when something is funny To be held in strong arms To hear the voice I feel in love with To see you smile To lie next to you and stare into those brown eyes So I'll wait until to see you and be near you when we meet in person Until then my love I'll be here patiently waiting for you

Numb

I take these pills so I won't feel the pain of not being able to see you Though at the same time I feel empty and wish I hadn't taken the damn thing I would rather have the pain and sadness than feel nothing because it hurts more to not feel anything than it is to feel sadness I don't want to be numb I don't feel alive when I take them I feel like something is missing like someone took all my emotions and locked them away I just wish you'd think of me as much as I have thought of you I miss you more than you could ever imagine to just see you or embrace you it would bring tears of joy to my eyes but I sadly can't have my wish so I'll lay here numb until it comes true...

Ugh

I just can't win today I've twisted my damn ankle last night badly it's bruised and hurts like a bitch then I go and slam my thumb in a locked car door now it's swollen missing a small chunk of skin bruised the damn bone and it hurts like hell and now I get told that my best had to be quiet about me not coming over as much and that she shouldn't tell me so I'm sitting there in the damn dark worried about her and then one of my pet peeves is push I can't stand when put don't tell me I'm doing something they don't fucking like JUST FUCKING TELL ME I won't freak out I would be all calm and possibly a bit butt hurt but I'd stop doing it....fuck Monday's

I want the person with me to be you I want to be there when you wake up and be with you when you go to bed at night I want my heart to feel something other than loneliness, sadness, and just numb I want to be able to smile when I think of you But sadly I'm with my best friend wishing she was you feeling everything but passion love and warmth I go to bed with a numb heart In loving company & feeling alone And going to bed crying thinking of what the two of us could be and waking up to realize I still don't have you in my arms I wake to the coldness that is knowing you love me but having no way to show it cuz you have responsibilities that come first and I sadly wait for you.... Because I know that deep down you do love and cherish me but life is making it hard for you to show it....

It's sad that I love you so much that I refuse to leave even if everyone says I should and that I am too nice for giving you the chances I have but to me I want to be with you and I know that in a relationship there is give and take and that they are not a 100% lovey dovey because we're human and we are not perfect no matter how much we strive to be so So even if I can't talk to you like I would I know that if you would of left by now If you couldn't stand me so I'll wait until we can talk to each other and hopefully get to see one another in person I miss you and love you and I plan to wait until I get to be with you

I can relate to this

I can relate...

Clear your mind here

My life.....

Battle Scars

I lay here staring up at the ceiling Wondering what I did to be treated so Having a father hurt me more than words could express Punched by my so called friends Teased and bullied for being myself Being led on for a 7 year relationship Have him change genders then have her dump me And for her to get in a new relationship While I am to be left to my thoughts as words Run though my head leaving wounds As they cut deep and leave me Bleeding, Crying, Cold and Lonely I am kind to everyone I meet I make sure that others are happy even If I am a the brink of crying I put everyone before myself Only to have my heart turn Cold and crack as more attacks Penetrate my shield I barely recognize my heart No longer red and whole It is blue cracked pieces missing Cuts and bruises cover its surface As I lay to rest and wake up to Only return with more scars

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