DestractMeMe

What you need.

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You need to heed Naomi Campbell's advice.

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You need to recognize that Madonna's "Vogue" from the 1990 VMAs is the greatest performance of all time/.

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You need to know why K'Ronikka might spell doom for mankind. If you love it as much as I do, here's the music video.

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You need to see Momma Dee's flipper flop out of her mouth during a heartfelt rendition of "I Deserve." Hear her personal response here.

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You need to listen to Momma Dee -- mother of Lil Scrappy, (ex) pimp, the hero #weDeserve.

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You need to experience this creative take on singing. The artist has released multiple albums, and "Blueberry Pancakes" is available for $0.99 on Amazon. Reviews have been brutal, but you might like it.

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You need to get swept away by the Magic School Bus into somebody's digestive tract.

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You need to listen to the Portland Cello Project cover Yeezy's "All of the Lights."

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You need to wonder why there would be a Japanese TV show that set generally useless English phrases to calisthenics.  Such is Zuiiken' English.  The Japanese must have a poor impression of the United States.  If these videos are to be believed, tourists should prepare to get robbed, suffer diarrhea, get offended, and otherwise have a terrible time.

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You need to hear Michael Kors give helpful insights on taste and fashion.

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You need to understand that Taylor Swift's new album is out, and it slays.

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You need to meet Mr. G.  Singer, dancer, actor, drama teacher at Summer Heights High.

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You need to listen to comedian John Mulaney recount the greatest meal he's ever had.  This answers the question: what might happen if you go to a diner's jukebox and select Tom Jones's "What's New Pussycat" to play 20 times.

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You need to witness this awesomely cringeworthy rap from Teen Witch. If you didn't know what Fremdschämen was before, you do now.

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You need to see how Ja'mie handled her first day at public school.

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You need to grapple with the tough questions. Get back at me when you figure out how da f**k we posta to keep peace.

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You need to understand that young Victoria will stop at nothing to have a baby.  Update: Victoria's priorities have changed.  Most would say this is for the better.