battle with the things that i breathe.

@destruxol

86 posts

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

a laugh.

“ trust me, i’ll remember this time. i’m not that wasted. ”

yet.

“ what do you do? other than helping poor souls like me, of course. ”

“well… i…” she stopped for a moment, trying to think of a normal job. she didn’t want to tell him that she did nothing except drank and watched tv. it had been a month since the school had let her go for her ‘drink problem’ and finding work seemed tiring and not worth it.

“honestly? i’m between jobs.”

seems better than too lazy.

“and yourself?”

between jobs? that's code for nothing. noel's just not gonna comment on that.

" i work at an insurance company. nothing exciting. "

in other words: he fucking hates it.

" what do you like to do for fun? "

same OLD.

@lydiamxrtiin

almost twenty years later and he’s still here. still in that same city, same bar, hell, this might even be the same fucking bar stool. it’s like a never ending deja vú. god, how he wished he had done things differently.

just when he thought this night was only gonna get worse - a familiar flash of color.

" you know my reasons, lyds. "

he knew what it was like having an alcoholic for a father. it's not something he'd want for his son.

a part of him had always hoped she'd find someone better to take his place.

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

a laugh.

" trust me, i'll remember this time. i'm not that wasted. "

yet.

" what do you do? other than helping poor souls like me, of course. "

same OLD.

@lydiamxrtiin

almost twenty years later and he’s still here. still in that same city, same bar, hell, this might even be the same fucking bar stool. it’s like a never ending deja vú. god, how he wished he had done things differently.

just when he thought this night was only gonna get worse - a familiar flash of color.

“you know…” she didn’t want to say this, just like she knew he didn’t want to hear this. but the love of her son came before anything, so she didn’t really have a choice. “he misses you.”

it made her upset, thinking about marty’s face when they woke up one morning and his dad, his best friend, was gone. she wasn’t surprised when it happened but it broke her heart that her kid was.

“how old was he when you last saw him? it was his 10th birthday, wasn’t it?”

she paused, finishing off her drink.

“that’s the last time i saw you too. he’s changed a lot, you know. he’s such a smart kid, and he’s tall and good looking and so fucking nice.” she bit her lip. “but he comes home stinking of weed and i keep finding empty whiskey bottles under his bed. stays out too late, spends a lot of time in his room.”

hearing about his son, he can't help but smile. there's nothing on this planet noel loves more than his son. such a great kid, so full of joy.

he didn't want to ruin that, he didn't want him to end up like him. so, listening to lydia describe a copy of himself twenty years ago breaks his heart.

" i miss him too, every day. "

it's true, there hasn't been a day in the past ten years where he hasn't thought about marty.

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

he takes out two cigarettes, putting both of them in his mouth and lighting them. then he hands one over to her before beginning to walk.

" so, tell me, what's there i should know about you, lydia? "

same OLD.

@lydiamxrtiin

almost twenty years later and he’s still here. still in that same city, same bar, hell, this might even be the same fucking bar stool. it’s like a never ending deja vú. god, how he wished he had done things differently.

just when he thought this night was only gonna get worse - a familiar flash of color.

a quick flash of a smile, tears hiding in her eyes; lydia looked at him. she felt that same thing, the same… high, the one he used to give her for all those years. before he left. he told she deserved more. 10 years together, and she deserved more. 10 years apart, had she found it? no. no one gave her that feeling, not like noel did.

without even a flinch, she walked up to the bar and smiled at the barmaid. “i’ll have a double vodka and lemonade.” then, she turned her attention over to noel.

“i like your hair.”

he takes a big gulp of his beer before gathering the courage to speak. a faint smile spreads on his face.

“ funny. - - meeting you here. ”

it actually was. after all this time, noel thought he’d never see her again.

“ how have you been? ”

the barmaid slides lydia’s drink over to her and in one swift movement, lydia passes her the money and takes a giant gulp, almost completely finishing it. liquid luck. she needed it.

“yeah, well. marty’s at a house party tonight, no doubt getting wrecked if he’s anything like his dad. i thought why let the kid have all of the fun.”

she paused for a moment, thinking.

“yeah, it’s been whatever. and you?”

his eyebrows raise at the thought of their son taking after him. noel had always hoped marty would take after his mother.

" i've been good. "

just like twenty years ago - lie.

he hates his job, he hates his apartment and most of all, he fucking hates himself.

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

“or possibly i wouldn’t want to leave a guy who thinks my hair is so nice he has to repeatedly tell me, passed out, alone, on the street.” she looked at him for a second. she couldn’t help but admire him whenever he was around. there was just something that pulled her in. of course, she wouldn’t say something as embarrassing as that, unless she was absolutely fucking wasted, and she wasn’t.

“but i can take my kindness elsewhere, noel.”

" i'd prefer that. "

if she was dangerous crazy, she probably would've hurt him at this point. so, why not.

" what do you say we take your kindness to my place? i have some whiskey left and that way you won't have to drag me home again. plus, free liquor. "

everyone says i’m the bad guy. that i’m mean, cruel, ruthless. i didn’t see myself that way. but if you want a bad guy… i’ll give you one.

rpmusings-galore

i’ve spent a lifetime running && i always get away but, with you i’m feeling ( s o m e t h i n g ) that makes me want to stay

same OLD.

@lydiamxrtiin

almost twenty years later and he’s still here. still in that same city, same bar, hell, this might even be the same fucking bar stool. it’s like a never ending deja vú. god, how he wished he had done things differently.

just when he thought this night was only gonna get worse - a familiar flash of color.

a quick flash of a smile, tears hiding in her eyes; lydia looked at him. she felt that same thing, the same… high, the one he used to give her for all those years. before he left. he told she deserved more. 10 years together, and she deserved more. 10 years apart, had she found it? no. no one gave her that feeling, not like noel did.

without even a flinch, she walked up to the bar and smiled at the barmaid. “i’ll have a double vodka and lemonade.” then, she turned her attention over to noel.

“i like your hair.”

he takes a big gulp of his beer before gathering the courage to speak. a faint smile spreads on his face.

" funny. - - meeting you here. "

it actually was. after all this time, noel thought he'd never see her again.

" how have you been? "

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

a few moments pass before his drunken brain can process what is happening. he’s not sure whether he’s just surprised or actually offended. who is she to just leave him standing there like that? making him look like an idiot.

after paying what she owed - only because he knows the owner too well to just leave like that - noel follows her outside, throwing his cigarette on the ground.

“ were you this rude last time we talked? i feel like i would’ve remembered that. ”

“last time we spoke, i bought you a drink and crashed you probably, like, at least 12 burns.” she paused for a moment. “the time before that, i bought you two drinks and took you home after you and some guy got in a fight. he punched you pretty hard, you punched him harder, i took your id so i could get your address and got you home after like 3 hours of trying to literally drag your drunken ass, you crashed on your own sofa immediately and i stuck around til like 7am to make sure you were okay. if you woke up to like 6 cups of water, on your side, in fresh clothes, that was me. oh, and i washed your dishes and cleaned your sheets. and the time before that? i don’t really remember cause i was smashed, but i’m sure i was NOT rude.”

she lifted her half smoked cigarette to her mouth, inhaled, held and exhaled, before passing it over to noel.

“and you don’t even remember meeting me. so, if anyone’s rude, it’s you.”

part of him is sorry but the other part wants to high five himself for getting so pissed that he doesn't remember ANY of this.

"why would you do all of this, lydia?"

he thought maybe adressing her with her name would ease the tension a bit.

jittery hands reach for the cigarette, followed by a small nod that's supposed to mean 'thank you'.

" are you some sort of crazy stalker person? so lonely you obsess over the poor drunk at the bar? "

noel's grinning, but he half means what he says.

same OLD.

@lydiamxrtiin

almost twenty years later and he's still here. still in that same city, same bar, hell, this might even be the same fucking bar stool. it's like a never ending deja vú. god, how he wished he had done things differently.

just when he thought this night was only gonna get worse - a familiar flash of color.

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

a few moments pass before his drunken brain can process what is happening. he's not sure whether he's just surprised or actually offended. who is she to just leave him standing there like that? making him look like an idiot.

after paying what she owed - only because he knows the owner too well to just leave like that - noel follows her outside, throwing his cigarette on the ground.

" were you this rude last time we talked? i feel like i would've remembered that. "

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

noel's not sure who he's more annoyed at - her or HIMSELF. taking a drag off of his cigarette surely will buy him more time to think about what he's gonna do about this MESS. & most importantly, how he's gonna get with her. provived, of course, he didn't already.

" anything else you know that i don't? "

his eyes move to her hand, hesitating a moment before taking it. how old fashioned.

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he’s going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it’s cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

“i like your hair. ”

that’ll do.

“yes, i know.”

lyds turned around, tucking her hair behind her ears as her eyes met his.

“this might be the fourth time you’ve told me.”

she raised her eyebrow at him, then quickly dropped it as she began to laugh.

“and this’ll be the fourth time i tell you that i like yours too.”

eyebrows first raise, then quickly turn into a soft frown. " now that you mention it .. " the man looks the other up and down, carefully inspecting them with their eyes. " i knew you seemed familiar. "

lie. he had no clue. maybe his alcohol problem was far more developed than he realized.

" so what brings you here? again? & -- don't be ashamed to say me. "

a wink.

same old -

@lydiamxrtiin .

at this point, he's going to the pub every night, drowning in beer & sadness while smoking away two packs of cigarettes.

it's cool though, the only ones that notice this toxic behavior are the other regulars who are by no means better than him, and the owner who should be glad he has a customer as devoted as noel.

as he lights up the last cigarette from his first pack, something red catches his attention. with the grey faces all around, color seemed almost alien.

a smirk spreads as he grabs his beer and makes his way over to his newest, shiniest toy.

"i like your hair. "

that'll do.

‘ i don’t know how to live but —- I’M SICK OF LEARNING HOW TO DIE. ‘

battle with the things that i breathe. @destruxol - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag