Way Of The Sworder 6 - Participate in the gig economy but get fired for not committing murder
Having struggled in the route to the Gnoll Stronghold, I decide to take a rain check on rescuing Dynaheir. Let's deal with this iron mine first. That's where the game was really pointing me to go right from the start, so it can't be too - oh no. They're shooting at me. They're all shooting at me. There's kobolds everywhere and they're all shooting at me.
I die horribly, and Imoen grieves with as much tact as ever: "POOR SOD, TAKIN' THE DIRT NAP SO SOON."
You might be wondering why Imoen says sod when she has a strong American accent and dialect. Presumably she's culturally Dragon Age Dwarven.
Getting pincushioned in the mines and splatted on the way to rescue Dynaheir, I'm in a pretty pickle. This is a particularly handsome gherkin, because there aren't a lot of other quests around and none of the ones I do find offer all that much. So I can't reach level 2, and am stuck with at most 16 hitpoints. Do you know what else is 16 hitpoints? The amount of damage some of the enemies can do in a single hit if they get lucky. Truly a more comely cucumber has never been put to brine.
I decide, very reluctantly, that having a party of six is doing more harm than good - experience is divided between your party, so the larger your party, the slower anyone in it levels. The way of the sworder must depart from the way of the group. I must walk this path alone.
So I send my party to an inn (an option from the Tweaks anthology, because vanilla behaviour is just them sitting in place where you left them like a poor lost puppy, which is both wildly inconvenient and emotionally distressing) and go hunting to bother people for quests.
This exceedingly gay man, Garrick, is an agent of Silke, a famous bard. He hires me on her behalf as a bodyguard because she backed out of performing at Feldepost's, which as fantasy taverns go is between Mos Eisley Spaceport and that one spot in Sorcery! where the innkeeper beheads you if you mess up his hideously complicated gear puzzle.
Seriously, look at this fucking thing. Do you pull the rope, or release it? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW MISTER JACKSON.
If you want the answer to this puzzle, the real answer is not to go in the fucking inn that beheads you if you fail the complicated gear puzzle. Christ. I hate that place.
Anyway, I agree to be Silke's bodyguard. She tells me to avoid talking to the thugs, since they have magical powers that will mind control you if you hear them out.
When they arrive, they're entirely friendly towards Silke, but she makes a big show of standing up to their threats. Uh Silke I think these are just innocent people.
I refuse to murder Silke's employees, so she decides to kill them and me. And, uh, that's about all she does. Spellcasters take some time to cast spells, and they can be interrupted by getting stabbed to death. So really she should not have told me she was going to kill me when she was within stabbing range. But it all works out for me, because I get a sweet, sweet 900 exp and the gratitude of her employees for not murdering them.
Seeing that his boss is dead, Garrick rather optimistically asks if he can work for me. Not even for money. His old boss tricked him into being an accessory to murder, and his new boss doesn't even have money to pay him with. That's how the gig economy goes I guess.
This is finally enough to get me to level 2.
I also find this gross little man. (Count the number of Bioware NPCs who are reducible to "gross little man." It is a lot) He presents me with another Opportunity - rescue a nobleman's son from bandits in exchange for barely enough to rent a room.
I recruit him, and resolve to use him as a meat shield, only partly because he has very high constitution.
