I have this one white friend.
And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, Iâm not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] Sheâs not even my friend, sheâs just someone I know. Okay, whatever, âkay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and sheâs like,
âJenny, what are you?â and, you know, thatâs like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] âwhat FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously youâre not from here.â And Iâm like, âum, Iâm Chinese.â
And sheâs like âWhat? Youâre Chinese?â
And Iâm like, âYeah, I donât know why thatâs so much of a surprise.â
And sheâs like âWell, I thought you said you were Asian.â
And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are⊠I, I canât, I canât, I canât even⊠you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: âYou know, China, China, you see, the country that Iâm from, is a part of Asia.â
And sheâs like, âWhereâs Asia?â
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, âWell, Asia consists of, you know..â and I list the different Asian countries and sheâs like âWhaat?â
And Iâm like [sarcastically] itâs, itâs this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. Itâs a continent! And sheâs like âA continent?â
And Iâm like âYes.â
And she goes, âso itâs not a country?â
And sheâs like âWhatâs the difference?â
And Iâm like [deep breath] âAmerica, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but theyâre also CanadianâŠâ
And sheâs like âI donât understand.â
And Iâm like âItâs okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chineseâ and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.â
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