Summary : Love was special, love was a feeling that everyone deserved but not like this. Not the love they gave. Their love was explosive, angry, and possessive. But what if… What if you loved them back just as much?
Summary : His precious darling was everything to him. You were everything to him. Nobody would ever keep him from you, nobody would ever take you away from him. But what if it felt like someone was taking him from you? Jealousy is… adorable.
TW : possessiveness ; manipulation ;
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Summary : Lee Know didn’t mess around with what’s his and you were his and his only. He didn’t quite care for how he kept you, and you didn’t care either, as long as he was yours. You hated hearing him with someone else, seeing him with other people. Jealousy is… a bitch.
Summary : Changing fell easily and he fell hard. He wanted nothing more than to adore you and make you feel adored. He’d never keep you locked away, he’d never hurt you, that’s why when he found out that he was unintentionally upsetting you, he hated himself. Jealousy is… heartbreaking.
TW : soft!yandere Changbin ; minimal arguing ; heavy emotions ; verging on manipulation ;
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Summary : He was handsome, he knew that, but he also was sure to tell you that you were the only person that truly had him. Even still, you couldn’t fight the bitter feeling at the thought of someone else being with him. Jealousy is… sickening.
Summary : No matter how long he kept you hidden away, how much he tied you up, you never stopped loving him. Maybe he wanted a fight, he wanted someone to tell him that what he was doing was wrong so that he could fight for you more. That’s why he resorted to being with other people, only to find you crying when he was done. He loved it. Jealousy is… beautiful.
TW : reader being tied up ; reader being held prisoner ; cheating ; heavy manipulation ;
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Summary : He did everything for you. He protected you, he sheltered you, he worshipped you. He’d buy you the world if it was for sale. Everything he did, he did it for you, yet you still whined when he was seen around another woman, you’d sulk if didn’t join you in bed at night. it was irritating and uncalled for and he wouldn’t stand for it. Jealousy is… a sin.
TW : violence ; throwing stuff ; intent to cause fear ; yelling ; screaming ; insults ; emotional abuse ;
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Summary : Your pregnancy wasn’t something that he had planned, it wasn’t something that he wanted, but he absolutely adored the way you clung to him after finding out. The surging hormones made your feelings stronger, and one of those feelings were jealousy, which he found endearing. Maybe he teased with you a little, but that’s only because he’s been waiting so long. Jealousy is… precious.
Summary :Now that he finally had you, it was easy. It was easy to make you want him, to make you need him, to make you depend on him. Too easy. Now you wanted him around, you hated when he left, and you pouted whenever he left the room. This was what he wanted, but he fucking hated it. Jealousy is… annoying.
PAIRING: ex!jake x fem!reader
GENRES: angst, smut, fluff
WC: 15.4k+
WARNINGS: argument, swearing, mention of cheating, fights, brief description of a physical fight, unprotected sex (don't do it, do it safely), nipple play, cumming inside. lmk if i've forgotten anything.
SYNOPSIS: you have the mission of being godmother at your brother's wedding, but the only obstacle is sharing it with his best friend, and your ex-bf who you're sure cheated on you, jake sim.
NOTES: one of the many stories i have saved for my jake. it was supposed to be short, but i can't, i always get carried away writing it! i hope you enjoy it.
masterlist
“I don't believe it” you said, a sigh of weariness and discontent coming from your lips when your brother's voice informed you of this.
You had known that he and Josie would get married from the moment they got engaged in their last year of high school. Heeseung was completely in love with your best friend and you, being a great person, encouraged the two of them to get together. But what frustrated you wasn't the wedding itself, or the responsibility you had been given as a bridesmaid, but the fact that it would all be shared with Jake Sim, Josie's brother and, ironically, your ex-boyfriend.
It would be a blessing to have his friendship after the two of you broke up because, after all, both families would be united one way or another. But the break-up hadn't been pleasant at all and, after a year apart, any interaction between you and Jake was cause for friction. If you were in a cartoon, sparks would surely fly from the two of you every time you were in the same room.
“Come on Y/n, Jake is my best friend and Josie's brother” Heeseung sighed too, putting on a pout that almost had you convinced of the proposal “It was obvious that he would be best man with you at our wedding.”
Your brother was right and you knew it from the start. Since before you and Jake broke up. When Heeseung and Josie talked about marriage in college, saying that the two of you would be the best man because it was perfect that you were both also dating. A coincidence that life provided. Your best friend dating your brother and you dating your best friend's brother. But since things weren't that simple for you, only Josie was happy now.
“Can't you and she, I don't know, just have more than one best man?” your eyes wandered over to your brother who was trying to maintain a relaxed posture, his body slumped nonchalantly on the sofa at your parents' house. Where you and he got together every weekend for lunch or just to pass the time in your hectic lives without any contact during the week “I'd love to be a bridesmaid to Jungwon, for example.”
“He'll be one of the godparents, of course” Heeseung smiled at you, although his gaze was on the large television that was playing some program that your brother could barely pay attention to “But your mission and Jake's are much greater because, well… You'll be our witnesses.”
It was a more than important title. Witnessing their union from the beginning, seeing them sign the papers and then exchange vows, it was all so beautiful.
“That's not the problem” he sighed so loudly that it was only at that moment that Heeseung stopped staring at the television so that he could look in your direction “It's that I'm going to have to go after practically everything for you and Josie together with Jake.”
“A great opportunity for you two to talk and finally understand each other” he said without thinking, regretting it at the exact moment he felt a pillow fly at his head “Ouch! What the fuck, Y/n?”
“You're defending him again!”
“I'm just telling you to really listen to him” Heeseung protected himself from another pillow to the head, holding it in the air before you could even hit him “Jake wouldn't be able to do that. Even more so with you.”
Even more so with you. Why did your brother insist on defending Jake? As if you were dumb enough to have gone to meet him in the locker room before the friendly match and, unfortunately, found a bra in his locker that wasn't yours. You didn't even wear pink bows on the bulge, it was too cute. Only someone wore that kind of outfit, showing off to everyone who had the chance. So it was easy to associate Jake, the captain of the university soccer team, with the slutty cheerleader you grew to hate even more.
Both Heeseung and Josie were forbidden to talk about it, to defend Jake in your presence, or to make you talk to him after you decided to end it all. It could have been completely childish of you not to listen to him, to throw your bra at Jake and utter the last words you could, looking deep into those brown eyes you had once come to love.
“I hate that I loved you” Jake didn't think it would hurt more than the accusation of betrayal, even though he hadn't even had the chance to say anything. Your voice was like a deep cut, bigger than any injury he had once felt playing soccer.
After that day you saw Jake Sim as the biggest traitor in history and the person you had all the bad feelings for. Even if the words had to be a little more restrained in the presence of family or when you decided to omit all the bad things that happened, saying that the break-up was because you wanted to take a trip abroad. The trip happened, and spending almost eight months in Madrid was able to clear your head.
Being away from Jake and everything that involved him and your family – which was now his too – helped you to cope a little with the distance. But you came back so quickly with the news of your brother's wedding that the last few months since your arrival in Madrid have all ended in arguments, or you and Jake swearing at each other until you can't take it anymore.
You could say you felt physical pain just being in his presence because you knew it was inevitable that you wouldn't have a single argument. Did he feel entitled to feel resentful and hurt by something he had done? And did Jake get irritated by the way you got angry without even giving him a chance to explain properly? Jake would never do that, but your mind and your eyes told you otherwise. You didn't want to listen to him, you didn't want to live with him. Perhaps living in Madrid after your brother's wedding could be an almost real thought, although you would never be able to leave your family in the long term.
“Y/n” Heeseung called out, taking you out of your thoughts as he held your hand. The gentle, comforting touch that only your older brother could provide “I know this situation will always be bad for you and him, but—” he squeezed your hand lightly “Can you do this for me and Josie? Please?”
The pleading voice was an extremely low game that Heeseung played with you to get what he wanted, but at that moment you felt vulnerability. You felt that he really wanted you to accept because it went beyond anything between you and Jake. It wasn't on purpose that he and Josie had done this, after all, you and Jake were the brothers of the bride and groom anyway. You both had to be at that wedding one way or another.
Squeezing Heeseung's hands back, you let out a low sigh. Your eyes wandered over his face as you saw hope run through the boy's eyes. It didn't seem like he was older than you and about to get married.
“All right, I'll try” you said at last, watching Heeseung's smile widen even more.
“Thanks Y/n, you're the best sister in the world” he bent down to kiss your cheek, releasing your hands to get up from the sofa.
“I'm the only sister you've got, asshole. I have to be the best!” you protested.
Heeseung's laughter echoed down the corridor to the kitchen, where he had disappeared. Surely he was going after some dessert to share with you while jabbering on about some wedding details he hadn't stopped talking about for a second since you showed up.
Your break-up wasn't an entirely amicable affair between the two of you. Your mind and heart were convinced that Jake had cheated on you, although you had never seen him get so worked up trying to explain that it would never happen. His hands gripping his hair as he paced the room, stuttering or not finishing a sentence because you didn't want to hear it. Part of you knew that denial came because you didn't want to hear anything from him and have to go back on what you saw, but another part still kept the image of that pink bow bra inside his locker in the changing room vivid.
But for your family, the break-up had gone smoothly. You both agreed to make up some excuse, after all, you'd still have to deal with each other for the rest of your lives because now Heeseung and Josie were getting married. There was no way you could avoid Jake or he could avoid you. His closest friends knew what had happened, two of Jake's best friends besides Heeseung and Susan, your other best friend along with Josie. Even though your anger towards him still remained, you didn't want others to think the wrong thing about you and Jake. Sparing you explanations or embarrassment. Even sparing you from remembering that day.
Living in a small – and false – harmony while being close to your family or anyone else who didn't know what actually happened. That's why the two of you were together in the party store at that moment.
Being appointed best man was something Jake knew would happen, ever since Heeseung confessed that he was going to propose to Josie a month before they finished university. Jake didn't want to be selfish by seeing his best friend in love while he was on the brink of ruin because, in addition to breaking up with you, he had just learned that you were going to another country. Maybe that was a good thing after all. Having you away would help him think and even try to find some way to get you to listen to him. Jake wouldn't give up on making you listen to him, even if it took years, he would make you hear the whole truth.
Looking around with a small sigh, he returned to the present moment. Staring at some baskets that he couldn't tell the material of. Wicker, bamboo or straw? Were those ropes really woven together, one by one?
“What have you got on your list?” your voice snapped him out of his reverie and made Jake look quickly in your direction. Trying to concentrate on your serious face, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he looked down at his notes.
He reached for the piece of paper in the back pocket of his jeans, opening what was already all but crumpled. While you had a notebook between your fingers, he had a piece of paper.
Typical Jake Sim, he knew you'd say that out loud if you were still together. And if you were together, you'd roll your eyes playfully and walk over to him, pick up the piece of paper, and throw it away, because his notes would be in your notebook too. And that would make you lean over and kiss him on the lips ever so sweetly, mumbling something about how Jake was a bit disorganized about it and that Josie had the craziest big brother in the world.
“Jake” you called him, almost whispering.
“Sorry” he took a deep breath, trying to focus on what was happening. Rolling his eyes at the words Josie had said a few hours ago, he hastily jotted them down on the piece of paper he was holding “I have some fabrics she asked me for and about three types of flowers for the bouquet and table arrangements.”
“Really?” you walked over to him, leaning close enough to see the piece of paper. Jake held his breath for a few seconds so as not to inhale your perfume, but if he didn't breathe, he would surely die. Then you slowly let out your breath while looking at the top of your head “Do they both think we're ceremonialists?”
“Maybe so” Jake said quietly “but from what Josie said, it's because they both trust us so much that we chose this so carefully.”
They were words she would say. Trusting you and Jake to choose the small details without giving them into the hands of someone she's never seen. Even more so Josie, who had always planned her wedding down to the smallest detail since she was fifteen, back when she hadn't even dreamed of falling in love with Lee Heeseung.
“Which of these three do you think is Josie's favorite?” your eyes searched Jake's after reading the paper. At that moment, neither of you wanted to face each other with such intensity, so close together. But you didn't know that approaching him to read the list would result in being so close. Walking away abruptly at that moment would have been rude, although you had never cared whether it was like that or not with Jake.
He looked at you. Really looked. As he had done ever since he'd seen you for the first time, and it made you feel strange inside. You wanted to think that maybe it was the nervousness of being alone with him after such a long time, being assigned to tasks like being a bridesmaid.
“Dahlia?” he said.
“Was that a question?” you asked him back, raising an eyebrow when you saw the uncertainty in Jake's voice.
“Come on, she's your best friend.”
“And she's your sister.”
“So what?” Jake asked “I don't know what her favorite flower is, Y/n. I don't even know about flowers.”
A big lie, Jake understood. In parts. When the two of you started dating, he did a lot of research on the internet about flowers and their meanings, finding out about the orchid and what it represented. When he bought you your first bouquet of orchids, reciting why he had done it, that was when Jake saw you cry with joy and love for the first time since you two started dating.
And it was from that day on that you both called the orchid the flower of your relationship.
“Yes, you do” you whispered so that he wouldn't hear, you didn't want him to hear. For him to understand that you were thinking practically the same thing as him.
Having that moment of a few hours without a single argument was the result of many requests and practically an engaged couple begging you and Jake not to jump on each other for the sake of the wedding that was yet to take place. Josie knew you well enough to know your limits around Jake, just as she also knew how her brother would cope with being in your presence for so long. It had to be perfect, and it wouldn't be something from your and Jake's old relationship that would affect what she had always dreamed of.
“I'll find the decorations for the tables, can you see the flowers?” Jake just agreed with you as he continued down the aisle of baskets and trinkets for flower arrangements. Agreeing with what you were saying was something he had been practicing over the weeks as he was assigned to spend more time than necessary by your side.
Sometimes the two of you would go out with Heeseung and Josie, looking for things related to the wedding and everything that could be used for the big party. Jake saw how much Heeseung agreed with his fiancée and, with subtle comments, he managed to change her mind when she didn't agree with something. This could be the big key to why their relationship had worked so well from the start.
Where did I go wrong? Jake felt selfish for thinking so, knowing exactly where he went wrong. He didn't insist enough on a conversation, he didn't make you listen to him the way you should have and, as a result, almost a year went by with him being set up as a liar in your head. That's why he decided not to argue and just agreed when you asked or gave your opinion. He agreed with almost everything because he knew how good you were at decorating, not to mention the fact that he knew that you and Josie had talked about marriage for hours when you were still Jake's girlfriend. He remembers nights when he would play with Heeseung while the two of you watched dress fittings, giving your opinions on which one you would like to wear on the big day.
While his sister opted for more flashy things, with some stones and sparkles in the veil, you always chose the simple, strapless dress that accentuated the curves of your body and without too much lace because you didn't want something so big. This simplicity made Jake's eyes sparkle because he could clearly see you in a simple dress. Although all the beauty would turn to your face, no matter what you were wearing.
“Flowers, Jake. Focus on the flowers” he said to himself as he pushed a trolley through the aisles of the store. Memorizing the ones Josie had told him about as an option and going to where they all were.
He had to concentrate on that or he would go mad because there was no way not to have nostalgic thoughts when you were around without fighting with him. These moments were rare, but when they happened, Jake knew he wasn't the only one who thought like that.
Looking at the labels naming each flower, he wondered if it was really necessary. Whether Josie would be angry if he chose any of them instead of the three on that piece of paper because they were just flowers. A color that wasn't too flashy – the only thing Jake could think of was that his sister wanted everything in rosé and champagne tones – and the flowers could be light pink or white. If he got one of those colors, but it wasn't the one she wanted, would his sister be happy? He didn't want to risk that much, so he sighed heavily in search of a dahlia or any of the other two that were named.
Luckily, the white dahlias weren't that far away, and Jake managed to get just the right amount to show Josie and see if that was what she was going to take. Apart from taking a small bouquet, he would probably have to go back with Heeseung and pick up countless flowers just to put on the tables of so many guests he didn't even know his sister had invited.
Rolling his eyes at some of them, Jake gathered a good amount into a clumsy bouquet but organized enough to take to the cashier and pay. His eyes rolled over a few flowers until they stopped: the orchids. He didn't want his heart to race so much that he had to bite his lower lip to suppress a smile. Jake could go on for years without talking to you, but it would never leave his mind.
“You're an idiot, Jake Sim” he hated having the habit of talking to himself while he was in such an internal dilemma but taking just one orchid and hiding it under the bouquet of dahlias was necessary at that moment. He didn't know why he'd done it, but he knew he had to.
“Have you got the flowers yet?” your voice sounded a little louder than usual, at the exact moment when Jake put the flowers into the trolley and looked down the corridor in his direction. He just nodded, watching you approach with some things he couldn't even tell you what they were. Maybe not even you. But they were all named according to what the bride and groom wanted, so all was well and good.
“Do we need anything else?” Jake asked after you'd put everything in the trolley, not even bothering to check that the amount of flowers he'd picked up was correct. This made him sigh with relief, so he wouldn't have to explain why he'd picked up an orchid out of the blue.
“I think we got everything in this store” you said at last, turning away from Jake to look in your notebook and make sure you knew what you were talking about.
He wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, run to Heeseung, and tell him what was going on. Or even ask his best friend to take his place on the next outing for the wedding stuff. Because if it went on like this, Jake didn't know if he could take it any longer.
The look on Josie's face could only indicate two things: either she was very nervous, or she had done something wrong. And considering that all the women were gathered in the living room of Mrs. Sim's house for the pre-wedding lingerie tea, maybe your friend was just nervous.
Looking at her for a while, you saw her say something to Susan and, when they both agreed on something before telling you, you could certainly suspect the second thought. This made your heart race because, if something had gone wrong, it was your job as godmother to fix it.
“What happened?” you quickly asked when the two of them approached, Susan looking around before glancing at you and then at Josie.
“Josie needs to tell you something” she said, and then you saw your sister-in-law and best friend open her mouth to say something, but the sound of the doorbell interrupted her.
Some women were arriving, Josie's friends from work, other family friends that Mrs. Sim and her mother had made a point of inviting. Everything would be very welcome if it meant getting things from people before her wedding, after all, Josie wouldn't deny any gifts. She also called some friends from college, and for some reason, your mind clicked so far ahead that you only realized what was happening when you saw her walk through the door.
Your stomach did such a somersault that you almost threw up the lunch you'd eaten with Susan before getting things ready for Josie at her mother's house. You thought the last time you'd see Stacy Joseph, the owner of the pink bow bra, would be in that hallway where you threw it at her and nearly broke her nose when you went to make amends. The last contact between the two of you was with Susan standing between you and her after you punched her in the nose, watching her bleed while you told her to swallow that stupid fabric. After that, you never saw her around the college campus, near anyone you knew or, worse, near Jake.
“Y/n, I—”
“Girls!” even her voice made you nauseous, and you wanted to ask yourself over and over again why Jake had chosen Stacy Joseph to be the pivot of the break-up and the reason for the betrayal between the two of you.
You remained silent the whole time she entered the house, left the gift package in the middle of the living room, and walked in the direction the three of you were heading. As a little dejavú, Susan stood next to you, almost between the two of you when Stacy got close enough to greet Josie.
“I'm so happy you're getting married, that's so cool” she hugged Josie so tightly, that you wanted to rip her out of her best friend's arms.
“Thank you for coming” she just replied, letting go of the hug and looking straight at you.
Stacy didn't say your name or Susan's, but the cordiality meant that she just nodded at you both in mute greeting.
“Y/n” Josie called your name, but your head was spinning and you looked like you were going to throw up. Her voice lingered in the back of your mind as you broke away from your friends and ran to Mrs. Sim's kitchen.
This couldn't be happening, not to you. For almost a year you had managed to forget what her face looked like, her voice, and even her presence, focusing your anger only on Jake because he was the only one you were around all the time. Now seeing her in front of you again, being invited to your sister-in-law's pre-wedding party… No, that was too much for you.
“Look Y/n, listen to me” Josie entered the kitchen, followed by Susan who looked at the two of you and then towards the entrance to the room, fearing that Stacy might follow them and, who knows, start an unnecessary argument “I heard she was coming a few hours ago, and it was because of your brother!”
“What do you mean?” you didn't want to look at her now, you didn't want to show how much this affected you. So your gaze went to the counter where your mother had placed drinks to be served when all the women had arrived. You didn't mind opening a bottle with the highest proof, grabbing a glass, and filling it halfway before downing it. “Shit.”
“Y/n” Josie was on the other side of the counter, right in front of you. Susan was next to her, looking at you too. “She started dating Haechan a few months ago, and since Heeseung invited him because he was on the soccer team… He asked if he could invite his girlfriend and—” she took a deep breath, feeling her eyes burn at how shaken you had been. When you filled the glass for the second time, Josie quickly took it and drank, just like you had done a few seconds before, feeling the burning sensation go down your throat. “Haechan didn't say her name or anything, otherwise I would have made an excuse.”
“No” you quickly said. “It's okay, it's just—”
“Besides, Jake didn't even cheat on you, but you don't want to hear that right now” Susan took the glass from Josie's hand, looking in your direction with a raised eyebrow. You felt your whole body ache just thinking about starting that debate again, how tired and upset you were to see your best friends siding with a traitor like Jake. No one had seen what you saw in his locker, so why not believe you?
“We found you three” Mrs. Sim entered the kitchen with an unusual excitement. She smiled at the three of you and didn’t notice the strange atmosphere that was there before she arrived “Have you gone to taste our drinks yet?” she laughed when she saw the glass in Josie’s hand and the open bottle in front of you. Your mother came in right after with one of her arms linked through Jake’s. And that’s when your legs went completely weak.
“What are you doing here, honey? It’s a women-only party” Mrs. Sim said as soon as she saw her son enter the kitchen with your mother. She seemed to be babbling about something he hadn’t even heard yet.
“I came to get my wallet and car keys” Jake said, but his gaze was on you the whole time. You felt that he was, even though you had looked away so as not to look at him at that moment.
“Then you can leave, there will only be women’s talk here” your mother let go of his arm for a second, “Things about panties, drinks, bras, and stuff.”
She and your mother laughed, you saw Josie’s smile slowly appear, as she searched for your gaze.
“About bras? Then Jake can stay” you murmured, “He loves that.”
Oh, no. It had been too long since the two of you had had an argument since the wedding preparations began. You looked up at him, seeing that Jake seemed unreadable with that expression. He had definitely seen Stacy in the living room because your mother was there welcoming people, so he must have seen her. Or worse, he must have heard Haechan talking about her when he arrived for the boys' party that was happening simultaneously at your house at that moment.
“I love bras? Is that what you're saying?” Jake scoffed, the sound making your whole body shiver. Josie and Susan looked at the situation nervously, trying to predict the next moves to try to intervene since your mothers were there. It would be the first argument in front of them.
“Of course” you smiled falsely, “With pink bows and everything.”
The sound around happened naturally, people talking loudly and walking from one side to the other. In the other room, it was easy to hear the laughter of the women who were eager to start the party. Your mother and Jake's mother picked up some bottles, paying attention to the two of you who were standing there staring at each other. While Josie, surreptitiously, walked to her brother's side to try to get him out of there.
“I hate bras” Jake made a small face when his sister approached “You must know that Y/n, because I took yours off every day.”
“Holy shit” Susan almost choked on her own saliva as she held back a laugh, even though the mood wasn't conducive to it. But your face was priceless because no one expected that answer from Jake. Not even you.
“What?” your mother looked at you two, astonished, although she didn’t need to explain to anyone what happened in a relationship. Even more so for as long as it had lasted with you and Jake. You two were adults, above all, and no one would interfere in that.
“Sorry” Jake quickly said, feeling Josie’s hand on his shoulders, gently pushing him out of the kitchen. “Have a good party, girls. See you later!” he felt his cheeks burning, even though he had given you a good answer, it was still in the presence of your mother and his mother, so Jake acted on total impulse.
Of course, he was nervous and scared when he saw Stacy in the living room of his mother’s house. He knew Haechan was dating someone, but no one knew who she was until she showed up. Jake knew he had a lot to tell Heeseung as soon as he got to his house for the boys’ party, but that didn’t stop his mind from wandering to the moment the two of you had in the kitchen. If Jake thought that this marriage would be peaceful, even with the problems, now he had just felt that it wasn't.
Three days until the wedding, where Josie and Heeseung would exchange vows, celebrate, and finally become part of the same family. She was so happy to know that her wishes were coming true, especially with someone like Heeseung. Who had always taken care of her since the first moment they were together. So planning and executing every little thing of that party didn't become a tiring job because, in the end, it made up for the joy of both of them.
And that was why you tried to ignore the discomfort in your chest every time you were around Jake – more than usual – after the meeting between the two of you at his parents' house. A whole week passed after that and you tried not to be around him alone for so long, even though you had to hurry to try on the dresses that your sister-in-law had set aside for the bridesmaid.
Going to the wedding dress store had to be a task done by you and Jake, together. But after that, you wanted to avoid him as much as he was trying to avoid you too. So you left your apartment without waiting for his ride, which was happening in the last few moments of every place you two went together. You went into the store and gave the bride's name, saying that there were some spares for you to try on in the color Josie had designated for you. The saleswoman, smiling and attentive, took you to the changing room so you could try it on and see how it would look on your body.
Being covered in a chic, pink, almost silk dress made you feel beautiful and desired. You knew Josie had that kind of taste. It was easy to trust her taste in clothes, but it wouldn't be an effort to try them on just to make her happy. Maybe you would keep the first one you put on anyway, but since there were five more on the hangers, you would need to put each one on. That way you could tell her why you had chosen one over the other.
“This way, Mr. Jake” the voice of the same saleswoman called down the hallway and you quickly straightened up, adjusting the second dress on your body when you heard footsteps walking in front of your door.
You ran to it and unlocked it, on impulse, just as the saleswoman was opening the door to the dressing room across from yours.
"Y/n? Are you here yet?" Jake was startled when he looked at you, but his eyes softened enough for him to make eye contact for a few seconds. You just nodded, looking away at the saleswoman.
“So you two are Josie and Heeseung’s godparents?” she asked.
“Yes” you and Jake said at the same time, her smile widening.
“Perfect” you said slowly. “Mr. Jake, your suits are in there as requested, and Ms. Y/n, did the dresses look good?”
“I’m still trying on the second one” you opened the door a little wider to show her. It wasn’t the silk of the first dress, but the lace and rhinestone trim gave a perfect glimpse of the curves of your hips. The saleswoman had a fond smile on her face, complimenting how beautiful you looked.
“It really does look beautiful” Jake blurted out, taking you and the saleswoman out of the small conversation you had both been having. Only then did he notice that the three of you were still standing in the hallway and that you were still wearing one of the dresses.
Your voice didn’t come out as a thank you, but you walked back into the dressing room and closed the door behind you before saying anything to him. Leaning your back against the cold wood and trying to normalize your heartbeat. Why did he have to say that as if nothing was happening?
In the time that followed, you tried to focus your attention on the other dresses and how the colors Josie had chosen were flattering to your skin tone and the color of your eyes. You felt more and more beautiful in each piece that slid over your body, the reflection in the mirror pleasing you more and more, making it practically impossible to choose a single piece that you could definitely choose. Going to the last dress, then, you decided to take off the one you were wearing and slide the fabric over your body.
Another silk, this time a little thinner, but not enough to be transparent. This one could have been designed for you because Josie knew you didn't want anything so flashy. You smiled to yourself after putting on the dress, turning your back to do up the zipper that was the only lock on the piece.
“Shit,” you grumbled when you saw it get stuck right at the beginning. “No, no, no…” despair began to take over your body. You couldn’t take off that dress or pull up the zipper and risk ripping something so expensive. Your mind raced to call the saleswoman quickly. She would be the only one who could help you with that zipper and would even be a good company to give advice to others who had doubts.
So yes, that’s what you would do. Holding the front of the dress with the straps hanging loosely on your shoulders, you walked to the door and unlocked it. Only sticking your head out and looking for the saleswoman. Not a soul passed by that hallway and you started to get a little scared because the only sound was footsteps coming from downstairs, where people were walking back and forth through the store.
The only sound that took you away from your thoughts of taking off your dress and giving up on trying it on was the click of the lock on the door in front of you. Jake had messy hair, adjusting his fly and the first four buttons of his white shirt open.
“Y/n?” he called you, finishing closing the zipper and running a hand through his hair to try to fix it a little. “I heard your door opening and I thought you were leaving, but— Are you okay?” he looked at you as soon as he stopped talking.
You stayed quiet for a few seconds, admiring how handsome he looked even in that sloppy and unkempt way. You imagined how clumsy Jake was with formal and elegant clothes, especially since you were the one helping him with the tie knots since you had to learn because of Heeseung and your father.
“I think…” you sighed, not wanting to say it out loud. He almost scolded himself for knowing you so well and knowing that something was wrong, so he walked the few steps from his door to yours, stopping in front of you “I think my dress zipper got stuck.”
“Do you need help?” he asked. You nodded slowly and, without saying anything else, let him enter your dressing room and closed the door right after.
Jake could see how organized you were even with a larger amount of dresses than he had to try on pants and shirts. Everything was perfectly folded, some even already hanging on the hangers while the pants he tried on were on the floor and only the blazers were on the hanger because he couldn’t find a single one that he thought looked nice on him.
“Okay, what do I need to do?” he turned towards you, noticing the way you were holding the front of your dress for dear life.
“Can you try to pull up the zipper? Otherwise, we can call the saleswoman” you turned your back to him and Jake had to hold his breath a little. The amount of skin was too much for him to see, even though it wasn't an unfamiliar sight for him. But after so long having this kind of contact was something Jake wasn't expecting.
“Okay, okay,” he said more to himself, walking towards you when you threw all your hair to the side, leaving your back completely bare to him.
Jake’s fingers trembled uselessly when the tip of his index finger and thumb touched the zipper. Nothing more than that, because he didn’t want to cross any boundaries.
“It’s not going to happen,” he said after forcing it a little, the zipper not moving.
“Try again, please” you asked. “This dress is perfect and I think your sister chose it because maybe it suits me better than the others.”
He didn’t want to admit that yes, that dress was perfect on you. Even if you weren’t dressed properly and you still had to close the zipper to see the final result, Jake didn’t need that to compliment you or find you beautiful in any outfit. Taking another step forward, Jake thought he could dare and listen to his instincts, or he simply wouldn’t have a chance of doing that anymore. So he muted any other voice in his head and listened only to what his heart was telling him to do. With his free hand, Jake grabbed your waist under the thin fabric of your dress. He had touched your skin before under some silk that you had worn during the years of your relationship, but nothing compared to the dress you were wearing now.
You tried to hold back any sound that might come out of your mouth as his hand slowly squeezed your hip, while the other tried to pull up the zipper of your dress. Jake seemed focused on that action that bent over enough for his breath to hit the back of your neck. His eyes traveled up the length of your back and saw your skin crawl with that simple gesture.
So he still had some effect on you.
It was too much information for him to process. Jake affects your body, the closeness of the two of you, and the even heavier atmosphere between you after Stacy's arrival. It was too much for him to process. Jake could never do anything rational under pressure, so he knew it would have a drastic consequence, he wouldn't stop trying.
Turning your body and pressing it against his chest, you didn't have a chance to swear at him. There was not even time to speak a single syllable when Jake's lips quickly sought yours. It was like an act of returning home, where he already knew the way and only needed those few seconds to have his lips on yours.
If Jake was being irrational about the whole thing, you weren't going to be the only thinking person or get in the way of what was happening. Part of you wanted it, although the other part of you disagreed with having the tip of Jake's tongue poking at your lower lip. With a low moan, you gave way and that was all he needed. To tangle his tongue in yours, to taste you in his mouth again while his hands ran down your hips and gripped your body as if his life depended on it.
Maybe it did because to go a whole time like that without feeling his lips, without sliding your teeth across his bottom lip or having your hands wrapped in his hair. Your body pressed against his while you moaned low against his mouth every time the kiss intensified. Jake missed that as much as you did. And seeing how intensely you were giving yourself to him was more than an answer to what he needed.
Walking towards the nearest table, careful not to ruin his clothes on the way, Jake leaned you against the wood without interrupting the kiss in the process. He didn't want to pull his mouth away from yours and even though you both needed air, he wanted to be able to breathe the air from your mouth if at all possible. His hands, still on your waist, slid all over your back, still uncovered by the fabric that wouldn't close at all. Thanks for the stuck zipper, he thought, running his hand up your spine until he tangled the fabric of the dress between his fingers.
Jake's mouth parted from yours just then, his forehead still pressed against yours and his eyes slowly opening to search for yours. A silent request as to whether he could go on with it or whether you were sorry and wanted him to leave the room.
Your hands found his and as if to help him, you pulled the loose fabric down your body, revealing your chest as all the silk bunched around your hips. His eyes shone brightly. Jake could tell it had all been worth it just from that sight. Your hands found his hair and he slid his lips down your neck as you spread your legs, beckoning him to snuggle in.
Jake ran his hands up the sides of your body, his thumbs finding your erect nipples and putting a fair amount of pressure there, just as his lips found your earlobe.
“Jake” you moaned his name, and that sound he missed so much. How slyly you used to moan his name.
“Yeah, baby?” he whispered against your skin, his hands gripping your breast a little more firmly before he released his lips from your neck and moved down to your collarbone.
Your voice gradually died away as Jake's mouth descended your skin in slow, wet kisses, his tongue tracing a teasing path down the middle of your breast. His breathing made a point of getting heavy with every line of saliva he left against your skin, the heat building there and intensifying between your legs.
“Fuck” you moaned as his tongue flicked across your nipple, the tip circling a few times before he took it all in his mouth. Sucking and making it even more sensitive with every warm touch of his tongue and the light scrape of his teeth on it. Jake's attention took turns on each of your breasts, leaving enough of a mark for you to remember him when you got dressed for the wedding a few days later. Or when you came home to take a shower, looking at your chest and the amount of hickeys he was leaving.
You arched your back and, with some difficulty, pulled the rest of your dress down to your feet to get rid of the fabric that was now bothering you so much. The amount of clothing was unbearable for you as Jake settled further between your legs, still sucking on your nipples.
“Jake, please” you practically begged him as he looked more and more hungry with his mouth on your nipple. Circling his tongue and letting go with a low, teasing pop, raising his face to meet yours.
“Do you want it as much as I do?” he asked, his voice hoarse and low, his lips red and shiny from the amount of saliva that had been smeared across your breast.
“I want it, very much” if he kept teasing you, you'd be pathetic enough to cry out for him and ask him to fuck you right there.
Fortunately Jake understood you so well and you knew he couldn't stand teasing you for so long, even more so with the hunger and thirst he'd been teasing and kissing you with minutes ago. He didn't want to waste any time, lifting his shirt over his head without bothering to remove the buttons, the zipper of his pants came down in seconds and he quickly removed the fabric along with his underwear. Jake didn't want to wait any longer.
He went back between your legs, sliding his hands up and down your thighs. Caressing the soft skin he had felt for so long. Nostalgia washed over him with every touch, going down to your hips to grab the fabric of your panties, throwing them on the floor as quickly as he did his clothes.
“Y/n, we—” you kissed his lips, not letting him finish saying anything. You knew Jake would explain himself, say something to try and comfort you from what you'd felt for so long. But the heat of the moment demanded that he just be inside you. And that's what you did. Holding his cock and pumping slowly, you heard Jake moan against your lips, his brow furrowed as you rubbed the head of his cock against your pussy lips to gather the perfect amount of your juices.
Jake arched his hips against your hand, feeling his cock get wet with the union of your arousal and his pre-cum, without having to worry about preparing you or anything. It was also because of the rush you were both in to feel each other, but he wanted to make sure he didn't hurt you, and the way you were calmly taking it all in was driving Jake crazy.
“I don't want to hurt you” he whispered when you stopped teasing him and stopped rubbing the head of his cock all over your pussy. Jake's cock was already wet enough and you were already more than lubricated, he wasn't going to hurt you.
“You won't hurt me, I promise” you whispered with your lips close to his, without kissing him, waiting for Jake to take the next step between the two of you.
As if it were a communication just by looking, as soon as Jake leaned his forehead against yours, he understood that it had to be done. So you thrust your hips slowly, feeling your entrance suck the head of his cock. Just the tip penetrating you was enough to make you moan, pressing your lips against Jake's and bending your body over the table. He wrapped his arms around you, gripping your body between his arms, afraid that you would run away at that moment. Afraid that everything you were both experiencing would be thrown away and that maybe it was Jake's dream, where he dozed off in the fitting room opposite yours, idealizing what was happening.
But no, it was all real. He was slowly penetrating you, gripping your body between his arms and feeling your arms around his neck, as if you needed to steady yourself just by hugging him.
Reaching the bottom, with his cock completely inside you, Jake didn't let go of your embrace. He moved his hips slowly, withdrawing his cock and leaving just the tip inside you, only to return slowly and intensely until his cock was inside your pussy. The movement of your hips became constant, and the sound of the moans that the two of you shared in whispers gave the moment even more intensity. Jake was careful not to go too fast and hard because the way you squeezed his cock showed how sensitive your pussy was to receiving him back.
“You don't know…” Jake sucked a moan from your mouth, pressing his forehead to yours when a particularly intense movement hit you, making the head of his cock touch your spongy spot and your walls tighten around it. Jake could have sworn he was going to come right then and there, but he had to stop himself, he didn't want to finish yet “You don't know how much I've missed this… How much I've missed you.”
Your fingernails scratched Jake's shoulder blades, making the thrust forceful as his skin burned a little. You bit his lower lip, stopping yourself from moaning loudly so that the whole store could hear the two of you. Your legs wrapped even tighter around Jake's moving hips, giving him no room to pull away for even a second.
“I've missed you, Jake” your hips were now moving along with his, but slowly, while Jake was intensifying his thrusts, wanting you to feel every moment of his cock moving in and out of you. Withdrawing his cock slowly and putting it back in just as slowly, going hard only at the end so that the head of his cock touched your cervix or you felt every rise in your walls with his size “I've missed you so much.”
Jake could cum with the intensity of your gaze, your fucked-up expression, and how you moaned his name as you said those things. He knew that anything you did while he had his cock buried in you was a reason for him to come, and he didn't want to hold back any longer.
With a silent request, Jake kissed your lips and moved his hands down between your bodies in the small space you left between the two of you. His fingers soon found your clitoris and he circled it at the same speed as his cock moved in and out of you.
You could see stars with the double sensation, your body writhing between Jake's arms as his thrusts began to pick up speed. He was close to cumming and you weren't much different, you knew him well enough for that. You both knew each other's bodies that well.
“I need you to cum with me, please” Jake asked against your lips, his cock driving in a little harder, along with his fingers circling your clit a little faster.
Without the strength to say anything, you just agreed and continued to move your hips so that you were in sync with Jake and what he was doing. Your hands grabbed his hair, keeping Jake's mouth close enough to yours and catching his tongue between your lips. Sucking on his tongue with the same intensity as your pussy swallowed his cock was divine, Jake was losing count of how many times he came with this sensation. Being swallowed by your pussy and your mouth sucking his tongue just like you used to suck his cock.
He could hear you moaning his name in a muffled way, your lips around the tip of his tongue and your pussy swallowing more and more of him. A precise circle on your clit along with his cock moving in and out was enough to make the knot in your stomach burst. Your pussy convulsed, and your walls fluttered around his entire length, cumming all over Jake's cock. The heat of your pussy, the oozing of your cum, and the way you moaned his name over and over were too much for him to bear, and not a second later Jake's jets of hot, thick cum spurted into your pussy.
His thrusts became more and more erratic and sloppy as he still came inside your completely fucked pussy, pushing his cum that threatened to fall out of your hole by the amount he had cum in so long. You were still sensitive and the overstimulation wasn't bad, although you felt like crying at the way Jake still kept his cock in you, moving in and out until your pussy milked the last drop out of him.
Jake rested his hands on either side of your body, next to your hips on the table. With his cock still inside you and his body still between your legs. He opened his eyes slowly to find your face calm and serene, your expression a little more relaxed than before.
“Jake…” you whispered, not wanting him to pull away from you.
“Yes?” he said in the same tone, one of his hands coming up to push your hair out of your face. He shifted his gaze down your body, the sheen of the light layer of sweat forming against your skin, your hips still joined without the strength to separate. The skin of his chest covered by the marks of his mouth made him smile with satisfaction at his work.
“Can we stay like this for a few minutes?” your request made his heart race, even though it had been racing since the first second you two kissed in that fitting room.
“As long as you want” he moved a little closer, giving you a small kiss on the forehead before placing his forehead against yours. Not wanting to leave your side even after the post-orgasm sensation had passed.
The rest of the days passed like a blur, and not because you or Jake were avoiding each other after what happened. But because time got too short it seemed like more things were happening until the big day. You and he didn't seem to mind each other's presence while you had to sort things out, the tiredness of the final preparations giving way to each other's bodies while all you could think about was getting it over with.
You could breathe a sigh of relief after walking in with Jake at Josie and Heeseung's wedding, listening to the whole ceremony in silence and admiration. Smiling at the vows of the two newlyweds and holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Finally, it was over and you could proudly say that you had been a great godmother. That your brother and sister-in-law had been right to appoint you and Jake to that role.
Now, enjoying the post-wedding party was the only thing on your mind. The glass was freshly filled with booze for the fourth time, the empty hand resting on Susan's shoulder as she hugged Josie's waist, humming the song that was playing throughout the huge hall. This is what you three thought it would be like. Drunk, happy, and laughing as you remember how you met. The time you shared and how much your friendship meant to each other.
“Even though Y/n is my sister-in-law now” Josie swallowed a drunken sob, smiling as she pulled you into a hug with Susan “you two will always be my heart sisters.”
“Is that supposed to make us sentimental?” Susan asked.
“Is it working?” Josie retorted.
It might work because you all already had a fair amount of alcohol in your system, considering how long you'd been here after the ceremony. You still spent time with Heeseung, congratulating your brother and warning him to take good care of Josie. Although he was your brother, your brotherhood with her was strong enough for you to take her away from their house, which hadn't even been furnished yet. With Susan's help, the two of you would take Josie away without a second thought in case Heeseung did something to her. Even though you knew it would never happen.
After a few minutes of exchanging warm, sentimental words, laughing until your belly ached, and refilling your glasses, the three of you broke away from the hugs to go around the party in search of something different for the next few minutes before meeting up again. Josie would go after Heeseung or your mother because she wanted to talk to her new daughter-in-law. Susan would go after Sunghoon, for sure. She missed her boyfriend, who would probably be hanging around the party clutching Heeseung's tie and collecting funny nicknames for the newlywed. Your mind immediately wandered to Jake, thinking that you could go after him and just talk about what happened, maybe. But your feet were killing you enough that you didn't even consider the idea of going out, so you walked over to the nearest table to sit down.
“Can I join you?” your gaze lifted to the person in front of you, smiling when you noticed Haechan's presence.
“Sure, join me” he smiled back at you, taking off his blazer and putting it on the back of his chair before sitting down. You could tell by the lazy sound that came from his lips how exhausted he looked.
“Getting around with your brother and Sunghoon wasn't an easy task” he grumbled, his fingers lightly massaging his left temple as he looked around. Looking for one of his friends or even his girlfriend.
“Are they giving you much trouble?” you asked.
“Enough that Sunghoon and Jake made him almost undress three times” Haechan said, making you laugh.
“Hey, I didn't do anything like that!” the defense in Jake's voice took you by surprise, and both you and Haechan looked in the direction of the slowly approaching voice. At the beginning of the party, Jake looked impeccable. His hair, which he had let grow – because Josie had asked him to, wanting his brother to have an impeccable hairstyle for her wedding – had been slicked back with a little gel, and was now disheveled and messy. The first two buttons of his shirt were open and Jake's tie was completely loosened, but still around his neck. The typical scene of how relaxed he was, but not to the point of getting drunk like you were starting to.
“You'll have to fight with your sister if her husband gets naked in front of everyone” Haechan defended, having his train of thought interrupted by him making Jake laugh. The sound of laughter calmed every cell in your body.
You noticed that he was a little more relaxed, smiling at some of the things Haechan said to him while you switched off a little. Your focus was now on the heel you were trying to take off and how much your feet might scream if they could talk. Without much delay, you unbuckled your heels and took them off, leaving them in a corner under your chair.
“But seriously, this wedding is just the way you two wanted it, isn't it?” your attention returned to the two boys talking right in front of you. Jake slyly pulled out a chair to sit next to you and his gaze ran down to where you were futilely trying to massage your feet.
“In every detail” he smiled at Haechan “Heeseung tries to deny that it was all my sister's doing, but we know he wanted it that way too” seeing how much Jake knew your brother was very gratifying, to know that someone understood him as much as you did.
At some point in the conversation, you found yourself looking between the two of them as they talked about how nice it was to be friends with Heeseung. At the time in college when Haechan wanted to join the soccer team and almost didn't get accepted because he had missed the time to introduce himself to the boys. Jake had his full attention on him, listening to every word while his hands thought differently, running down your calf until they caught your ankle. Without saying a word to you and without looking in your direction, he picked up your foot and placed it on his lap. The fingers lightly squeezing the sole of your foot almost made you moan at how good it felt, how much you needed that silent massage from Jake.
“One relationship I also admire is the two of you” Haechan pointed at you and Jake. Your eyes quickly met his for a split second, Jake's fingers stopped just as Haechan smiled, and then he went back to massaging your feet.
“Why?” Jake asked for you, knowing that his concentration was on the pain that was leaving, and how his body was slightly tense from the question.
“Because even after you broke up, you two carried on as friends” Haechan sounded dreamy as he said that little bit of admiration, even if it wasn't true. That the image you and Jake passed on to your friends was false, because you and he weren't friends, you never were. The war footing you two were on was hell on earth and neither of you knew how you were surviving until the present moment “I don't know if I'd be able to be friends with Stacy if the two of us broke up.”
There was a brief pause when Haechan spotted one of his friends with two glasses in his hand. He asked for one, even though the guy wasn't a waiter, but he smiled and handed it to him, asking if you and Jake wanted one too. Denying it and thanking you both, Jake smiled at him and let Haechan take a good sip of his drink.
“How long have you and Stacy been together?” Jake asked, not knowing the origin or the reason for all this. Maybe it was to get away from the attention his friend had given to your relationship, but he just wanted to deflect it and do everything he could to keep you away from him.
“Since college” he replied, taking another sip of his drink “our relationship is a little crazy.”
Jake knew you were looking at him at that moment, he could feel the weight of your gaze almost smoking on the back of his neck while his gaze was on Haechan.
“Tell me about it, I never knew” Jake prodded.
You didn't know why he was doing it. Whether it was to torture you for talking about Stacy so freely in front of him or whether he wanted to talk to Haechan, who barely knew that you had almost broken his girlfriend's nose in college.
“Well, we started going out after a fraternity party, it wasn't anything serious at first” he shrugged, the unfinished drink in his glass now playing between his fingers and a small smile on his lips.
Haechan talked about his and Stacy's relationship carefully, as if the image she had made of herself to him was a version you had never met. But then your ears perked up a little more when he got to a particular moment in the story.
“Dude, I… Y/n, do you mind if I say that?” Haechan looked at you, noticing that the story was taking a turn that only boys could be interested in.
“Not at all” you tried to smile at him, almost grimacing at the way it had come out “I'm just focusing on my massage” you pointed downwards where Jake's hands were still occasionally squeezing your feet. He laughed and continued, looking at Jake this time.
“I went crazy when we started dating because Oliver talked about Stacy's fame and for the first few weeks I wanted to prove whether it was true or not.”
Stacy's fame in college was her cute lingerie, the famous – and hated by you – pink bow bra. It wasn't necessarily fame because she made a point of showing part of her bra with a tank top during training and it had even been proven by those who slept with her. It wouldn't be a fame if they already had proof.
“When I saw it, I made a point of… spicing up our relationship at the beginning, to prove that she wanted it and that it wasn't the same with everyone.”
“And how did you get her to prove it?” Jake asked Haechan.
“Oh, you know” he leaned back in his chair, stretching as much as he could and almost yawning, but he wasn't sleepy enough for that “I asked her to leave a bra in my closet on the day of the game.”
Jake was the first to make eye contact with you as if he'd expected that answer or any reaction to it. Your eyes sought his and, a few seconds later, you looked at Haechan.
“What day was that?” you asked “I mean… what game?”
“The last friendly we had against the University of the South” he looked nostalgic as he recalled one of the last games he'd played in a university shirt “I told her to leave it in my locker and then we'd celebrate under the shower, you know.”
You didn't know what it was like because you were disgusted to do anything in the university's men's locker room, but that didn't stop you from finding Jake and going home with him to celebrate. That's how you ended up in the locker room on that fateful day.
“Y/n, are you okay?” Haechan asked after a while. He was still talking to Jake about something you didn't even know you wanted to hear right now, your mind was racing. If Stacy had done that in Jake's locker, what story had she told Haechan to make him think he was the only one who had received a pink bow bra in his locker?
“Excuse me” you asked, taking your feet off Jake's lap so quickly that he didn't even have time to hold you or ask where you were going.
A lot of questions were running through your mind at that moment, for example, how Stacy was managing to cope with a lie that she maintained even after the encounter you two had? Even after you hit her and cursed at her even though she was dating Haechan after everything. While you maintained that Jake was the liar in all this, the big liar was there all along.
You didn't know what you were doing, but the next thing you knew, your feet were leading you in the direction where Stacy was. Near the bar and away from the many people at the party, she was chatting with Susan and Sunghoon as if she had been friends with them for years. Although you knew that your friend and her boyfriend were very polite, you didn't like the closeness she was trying to force.
“Hey, Y/n” Sunghoon was the first to see you coming, his smile showing the fangs that you heard Susan sigh almost all the time. He waved at you without a response, only to see you advance towards Stacy as soon as you got close enough.
“You slut!” your hands grabbed the fabric of her dress, almost tearing it with how hard you were squeezing.
“Let me go, you're hurting me” she whimpered, feeling your nails dig a little deeper into her skin as you gripped her dress even tighter.
“So you've been lying all this time, have you?” you pushed her away when you felt Susan's hands pulling at you, wanting to push you away from Stacy, but unable to put that much force into your actions. She was drunk enough not to be able to separate you as she normally did. Then she looked in Sunghoon's direction, searching for some kind of help.
“Lied about what?” she asked.
“Don’t play dumb!” you yelled, but your voice couldn’t be heard the way you wanted to by the people around you, only Stacy and Susan were able to hear how loud you were talking because of how close you were. “That day at the game, Jake’s locker. Tell the truth, you slut—”
Sometimes you had the slight impression that your brother arrived at the worst times, like in a suspenseful scene from your favorite series, or when you and your mother wanted to listen to the neighbors’ fights and Heeseung slammed the door right when one of them told you something very important. And like now, when you were about to live the nostalgic moment of punching Stacy right in the nose, but your brother’s hands were quick enough to grab you and pull you away from her.
“What’s going on?” he asked, standing between the two of you and facing you “Hey, sis, look at me.”
“Let me go or I’ll finish her off.”
“You’re not going anywhere” Heeseung said. His eyes searched for something behind you and when he found it, you didn’t even need to turn around to know that Sunghoon had gone after Jake and Josie.
“What’s going on here? Are you okay?” Josie asked as she looked at Heeseung and you, but when her eyes landed on Stacy, some of her sobriety returned. She knew that this could happen at the party and was already preparing for some argument between the two of you, she just didn’t know it would be practically halfway through the night.
“I… I was at the bar talking to Susan and Sunghoon when Y/n arrived and—”
“Oh, for God's sake, stop your shitty little act” you snapped, almost advancing on her if it weren’t for Heeseung’s strength still holding you in place. Your brother didn’t move an inch until Jake took his place, standing in front of you and holding you. On another occasion, you would be cursing him and not wanting Jake to touch you, but seeing him there at that moment seemed to make all the difference.
“Stacy, love, what’s going on here?” when she heard Haechan’s voice, Stacy seemed to freeze in place. She looked at him with wide eyes and rapid breathing, perhaps even more than before when the two of you almost argued.
She found herself between a rock and a hard place now, maintaining that lie was no longer hers and she knew that sooner or later it should have been said. Stacy just didn’t know why it had taken so long.
“I… I think I did something wrong and…” you couldn’t swallow her fake crying and the sobs that threatened to come out of the girl’s lips who, with the help of her boyfriend, took a step forward to tell the whole story to your friends.
Hearing all of that from the point of view of the one who had caused you the most pain only made your blood boil even more. You – and the entire campus – knew how much Stacy always bragged about getting with every guy she wanted, with only Heeseung and Sunghoon being the only ones under the radar, she wanted to be content with that. But when she found out that Jake, besides being on the soccer team, was coveted for dating the team captain's sister… Oh, she wanted him. It was impossible to get him, but she would do anything to try anything and get with Jake at least one thing. It was then that she had the brilliant idea of replicating Haechan's wish.
The friendly match against the southern university was packed, with everyone on campus stopping to watch the match and cheer for the team. You and your friends weren't much different, wanting to see the boys and supporting them at all costs. Unfortunately, Stacy heard how lovingly you told Jake that you would wait for him after the game in the locker room to get his things and go home.
“Can you get my shirt from my locker? I left it open, you can wear it, it's for good luck in my game today. Then I want to take you out of here” his locker would be open, and fitting like a glove, Haechan's idea could serve Jake at that moment. Stacy would put her bra in his locker, let you think whatever you wanted and then she would go on with her life as if nothing had happened. She did that and took off the bra she was wearing to put in Haechan's locker, so she wouldn't waste time because she didn't know if you would throw the fabric away or if you would confront her. She found herself in the unfortunate decision of having the latter option two days later.
“You already got revenge on me for that day and I apologize to you.” Stacy felt her eyes burning, she was embarrassed for being caught and confronted at a wedding party she didn’t even know why she had gone to. She thought that not telling him she was Haechan’s girlfriend would be the best choice to see the faces of familiar people once again since no one had kept in touch with her besides her boyfriend.
“Did you get revenge on her? What did you do?” Jake looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, doubt in his expression, and his lips in a cute pout. If it weren’t for the current situation, you would have kissed him for sure.
“I didn’t do anything” you said softly, just so he could hear. But Stacy didn’t listen, so she kept talking.
“She hit me in the hallway of the north block a few days later” she sighed “Almost broke my nose.”
“What?” Sunghoon shouted in surprise “So our last fraternity party… The injury on your nose…”
“It wasn’t a cheerleader stunt” she continued.
A short silence fell between you all, only the music of the party and Stacy’s small sobs could be heard. You could notice how much Josie was trying to calm the situation and disperse the people so that everyone could enjoy the rest of the party.
Your gaze went up to Jake’s face and he was expressionless now. The astonishment that had taken over had given way to a neutral look, but it contained something that you couldn’t identify. Remorse? Fear? Anger?
“Jake…” you called him without knowing why you were doing that. He was still looking at you with the same expression, not even softening at the sound of your voice.
“Can we talk later?” he asked, his tone serious, but somehow trying to sound a little calm for your liking “I’ll take you home and then we can talk, okay?”
There was no way you could insist or say no, just accept it because you didn't even know why you wanted to talk to him at that moment. Everything had hit you like a blow, and just like you, Jake might need some time to cool down and talk to you at the end of the party.
Waving slowly, you watched him walk away as Haechan pulled Stacy away and the others walked through the party until it was just you and him left there. Or just you, as soon as Jake walked away and walked to the bar to get something to drink. So, you allowed yourself to release all the air you were holding, refusing to cry after reality hit your mind and heart.
You believed a lie for all that time. And there was no going back now.
Jake tried to loosen his grip on the steering wheel, but his firm grip on the leather showed how nervous he still was. Spending the rest of the party brooding over everything that had happened, in addition to seeing how shaken you were by it all, made him feel even worse. He thought he would be fine after you heard that he had never cheated on you, that you had believed a lie… But he didn't feel good. Jake seemed to feel even worse after seeing how bad you were.
That was why, when he guided you to the car to take you home after the party was over, he preferred to stay quiet and let you be quiet too. The whole drive was in complete silence, with the only sounds being the car engine and the city's movements in the early morning. Occasionally Jake would look in your direction to see if you had fallen asleep or if you were okay, checking on you or waiting for you to look at him too. The only time your eyes met his was when you pulled up to your apartment, Jake turning off the car engine as soon as he parked in the parking lot of your building.
He didn't have to ask if you wanted him to come with you, because you got out first and left the keys with him, as a silent request that he could go up with you. And Jake did just that. From the hallways of the building to the elevator, going to your floor in the most absolute silence. Maybe even more than when the two of you were inside the car.
He turned the keys when you both reached your door, letting you enter first and leading the way in the small darkness that formed inside your apartment. After locking the door, Jake took off his shoes and threw his blazer next to the hanger by the door to make himself a little more comfortable as he followed you to the kitchen still without saying a word.
“Do you want to take a shower?” Jake asked for the first time since the two of you left the party after the wedding. Your eyes followed his figure who was standing in the doorway, leaning one shoulder against the wood as he looked in your direction.
“I think…” you sighed, looking around after Jake held your gaze. Feeling a little shy from the intensity with which he was looking at you “I’ll make some coffee and…”
“I’ll make the coffee” Jake interrupted you slowly “Go upstairs and put on something more comfortable” he tried to sound a little softer with you, but there was still a hint of seriousness in his voice that you recognized. A palpable tension that he finally had the whole truth exposed, he just didn’t know how to act after all.
You wouldn't deny it, especially since your feet were almost killing you from the pain from the moment you took off your heels in the middle of the party. You definitely wanted to take off that silk from your clothes, even though they were so comfortable that you danced all night without worrying. But at that moment, your body just needed other fabrics. So you quickly went to your room, passing by Jake without looking at him because you knew that if that happened, there would be no way to go back or simply remember to change your clothes.
As soon as you got to your room, the first thing you did was slide the dress down your body and leave it lying anywhere on the floor. The air blowing against your almost naked skin was a soothing balm for everything you had witnessed in the last few hours. When you got to the bathroom, looking at your appearance in the mirror, Jake's idea of taking a shower didn't seem so bad after all. Turning on the shower and letting the water run wasn't a thought you were reluctant to do, it had to be done. Getting all the dirt, sweat, and exhaustion off your body, both for the fun and for the mix of sensations and how sore and tired you felt. The pain in your feet went away as you squeezed them – not as gently as Jake did – with the help of the soap and hot water. Everything goes down the drain minutes later: dirt, tiredness, and a bit of sadness.
Quickly drying yourself, you grabbed a pair of old sweatpants that belonged to Heeseung and that you never let him take possession of. They belonged to you since the day you put them on by mistake at your parent's house when you and he still lived there since then those pants became yours and no one would say otherwise. For the top, the only comfortable thing you could wear was a sports bra. Without the clinging fabric of a t-shirt on your torso, you wanted something breathable and that would make you feel freer, this was perfect.
“Time to take off my makeup” you muttered to yourself after you had finished changing properly, looking in the mirror to find your mascara slightly smudged and the red lipstick already coming off your lips. You remembered the tireless hours you spent with Josie and Susan at the beauty salon that same day, in the early hours of the morning. Not even thinking that you would have to take it off at the end of it all, ending up with a beautiful job, even though you felt like you couldn’t keep your makeup on for so long.
Taking the cotton and the makeup remover, you moistened the cute object to wipe your face and, before doing so, looked at your reflection once more. Something in your mind made you think of everything besides the time you had taken to put on your makeup and get ready for the wedding. That had been the makeup for your brother and sister-in-law’s most important day, but it was also with that makeup that you faced the biggest event of your life. With that mascara on your eyes, you were able to witness the lies that Stacy had told you for so long. It was with that lipstick on your lips that you cursed her, and with all that makeup on you stared at people and saw Jake's gaze on you all night. Without being able to decipher, what he was feeling.
Everything, at that moment, was a shock and you only realized that you were crying and looking at your reflection when your vision blurred and you heard Jake calling you in the background. His hurried steps through the room before Jake's figure stopped right at the bathroom door.
“Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” the desperation in your tone, the look in Jake’s eyes as he turned you around, making you face him. This made you cry even more. Your mouth opened and closed to say something, but nothing came out, just silent sobs as you let the tears fall freely down your cheeks. “Hey… What happened?” he asked again.
“I just—” you sobbed again “I ruined everything.”
Jake’s hands found their way to your waist in a matter of seconds, bringing your body close to his in just enough space for him to tilt his face and be close to yours. Without saying a single word, he looked deep into your eyes, letting you shed as many tears as you thought necessary. His fingers held tightly to your skin and, with a small push, he picked you up and placed you sitting on the bathroom counter.
“Ruined what, exactly?” he asked, taking the cotton from your hand. Jake wet the makeup remover again and straightened up between your legs to take off your makeup for you. A few days ago, this position between the two of you yielded something beyond what was happening, and butterflies in your stomach hit you at the thought of it. But there he was, with the utmost sweetness and affection, carefully passing the cotton pad over the entire length of your face. Completely the opposite of what he had done to you last time.
“Us” you answered when Jake passed the cotton pad over one of your eyes, forcing you to close it so he could remove the mascara. You heard him sigh right in front of you, the air blowing against your face due to Jake’s proximity to you.
The silence that settled between you was strangely comfortable. Now and then your sobs could still be heard as you tried to normalize your breathing and stop crying. Jake was completely focused on wetting the cotton pads, removing your makeup, and making sure you were clean and comfortable enough. Once everything was over and he threw the rest of the things in the trash, he remained with his body still between your legs.
“You didn’t ruin us” he finally replied, his hands resting on your thighs instead of touching the marble of the bathroom sink. Jake’s fingers, although blocked by the sweatpants you were wearing, were a warm and comfortable touch. Something you missed and only realized the last time the two of you had a little more contact.
“Of course” your eyes burned again and your vision became blurry again. Jake’s figure in front of you was like a blur when you felt like you were going to cry again. “I spent all this time thinking that you—”
He knew what you would say, but he didn’t want to hear it out loud. It was a past completely behind him, one that Jake didn’t want to dig up and much less make you remember. So the only way for it to end was when he touched your lips with his. A soft kiss, placing his mouth on yours and slowly sliding the tip of his tongue along your lower lip. It didn't take long for your passage to be accepted, letting him guide the kiss while one of his hands came up to hold your face. He held you in his hands with such care, kissing you and making you feel every little touch.
That should have calmed you down, but it made you shed the tears that still insisted on appearing. Jake felt each one of them between the kiss you shared, each time softer and slower, the movement of your tongues in sync as he let you feel each small slide of his mouth against yours. When you both needed to compose yourself, Jake pulled his lips away from yours enough so that you could both breathe. Still keeping your mouths closed and the tip of his nose brushing against yours.
“You know what?” Jake said, still breathless and a little hoarse. You just murmured in agreement, letting him continue his train of thought “When we started dating, one of the first things Heeseung told me was that you were the most stubborn person I would ever meet in my life.”
“Really?” you opened your eyes in shock, staring at Jake who was still between your legs. His lips reddened and smiling at you.
“Really” he kissed your lips once more, his hand still on your face caressing your cheek and sliding his thumb to your lower lip “What happened in that locker room was shitty and I don’t blame you for feeling that way. I just…” he took a deep breath, his hands finding their place back on your waist. “I needed time until I made you listen to me. I would never rest until I knew I would never do that to you.”
It was your turn to pull Jake into a soft kiss, just to feel his mouth against yours again. The slow, calm slide of his mouth against yours before you pulled away.
“Do you forgive me for being so stubborn? For wasting our time?”
“I have nothing to forgive you for, baby” Jake took a few steps back, his mischievous smile making your heart race a little faster than usual. “By the way, I have something for you.”
“For me? What is it?” you asked.
“I’ll be right back” Without giving you a chance to answer, Jake ran out of the bathroom, leaving you still sitting on the sink counter. You decided to go downstairs and walk to your room, trying to think of what he could have for you. It couldn’t be coffee, because the cup he brought was resting on the nightstand on your side of the bed. Running to the bathroom while you were crying made him completely forget about the drink there, maybe it had even gone cold. You didn’t care, after all.
Jake’s footsteps were heard on the other side of the door and, before you could walk a little further and open it, he did it himself. One hand was hidden behind his back as he entered your room.
“What’s all this suspense, Jake Sim?” you raised an eyebrow at him, skeptical about all the mystery surrounding the two of you. Jake chuckled softly, walking slowly but nervously towards you until he stopped right in front of you.
“I bought this because I knew I could give it to you one day” he said softly, not quite a whisper, but his tone was still soft. Jake’s eyes were focused on every corner of your face, wanting to convey a little of everything the two of you had shared so far. Or at least try to understand a little of the emotion he felt after everything that had happened.
He pulled away until he showed you what he was holding and, as soon as you saw the only orchid he had between his fingers, you almost cried for the third time that night.
“Jake…”
“It was the flower of our relationship, I—” he held it out to you, letting you take it and smell it as you always did with every orchid he gave you over the years. The characteristic smile that showed you were truly surprised, but without a single word to express what you were feeling. While your free hand went to his face and caressed Jake's cheek, the skin against your fingers so soft “I bought it the day we went to see things for my sister. I thought I could give it to you at some point.”
“Did you think it would be soon?” you asked.
Jake took a step forward, getting close enough to be able to hug your body with his.
“I didn't think so, but I hoped it would be. I couldn't stand being away from you anymore with all these wrong and poorly explained things” he huffed, his forehead pressed against yours when Jake's head leaned forward to get even closer to your face. You allowed yourself to laugh for the first time since you had arrived home, holding the flower tightly in one hand, while the other still held Jake's face.
“So go take a shower, take off those wedding clothes, and stay with me in bed all night.”
“Just tonight?” Jake asked, pouting. Which didn't last long because you broke it with a quick kiss.
“As long as you want…”
“I think my whole life is perfect for me” he shrugged, kissing you once more before pulling away and quickly taking off his white shirt. Both because of the shower he was looking forward to taking and because of the lack of contact with you.
Jake wanted to make up for lost time and everything you two didn't experience because of the lies that surrounded you, him, and your relationship. A silent promise that, even if you were stubborn, you would never stop believing in him again.
But not "my dog died" or "I feel insecure" kinda angst. I'm talking about the cheating, the break up, the suffering, the tears, the begging, the pining, the stalking, the obsession UGHHHH, love me a fic where he fucked up and now has to do the most to get her back, it gives me a serotonin boost
If our message sparks a change in you, even if it's just a little, if it can move people's hearts, that's good enough for me... I want to share new stories with the listeners, especially STAY, and evoke new emotions in them through our music.
*ೃ༄ genre: college!au, brother's best friend & 3racha Jisung (yes he is his own genre lol), y/n is Minho's slightly younger sister, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, drama, my attempt at humor.
*ೃ༄ word count: 14k.
*ೃ༄ summary: The Lee siblings' rule was simple: don’t flirt, kiss, sleep, or even dare to think about dating the other sibling’s friends. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? No matter how ridiculous that rule sounds now, both of you respected it religiously for years, being one of the main reasons your relationship remained as strong as it did for so long.
But, what happens when your brother decides to break it on a random Friday night, at a frat party, with one of your closest friends?
You decide to take revenge, of course. And what better way to do it than with the help of his precious best friend, Han Jisung, whom you’ve been crushing on since forever?
*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes (these two are still very horny for each other), sexual tension, marking, spit (lmao).
♡. part 03 .♡
♡. a/n: i can't believe we finally reached the end!! :( i will sob fr. firstly, i want to thank everyone who followed this story! your asks, reblogs and little tags make me the happiest every time i go back and read them <3 thank you so much for all the support and nice words you've sent me! i'm so grateful so many of you enjoyed this story and wanted to share your beautiful thoughts with me :( <3 <3 <3 second, i'll definitetly write side stories based on this, just ask fghfd. finally, a special thank you for my baby laure (@byunfirstlady) who has read every chapter for me before posting and gave me very helpful feedback! <333
“What the actual fuck are you two doing?”
The moment gets ruined instantly and you come crashing to the ground, free falling from the fluffy cloud Jisung with his plush lips and wandering hands transported you to moments prior. All of the muscles in your body stiffen up as you stop kissing him back, eyes snapping open in search of the all too familiar voice you somehow heard over the booming music and the pounding heartbeat that was resonating in your ears. Something like fear envelops you but that’s quickly replaced by a new wave of excitement, far different from the one that Jisung ignites in you, when your gaze finally falls on the person that dared to interrupt the moment you’ve dreamt about since forever.
Your brother, Minho, is standing a few feet away with an indecipherable look on his face.
Jisung pulls away with not as much reluctance as you hoped for and the smirk tugging at the corner of his kiss swollen lips confuses you further. Why does he look…proud?
Trying to slow down your wildly beating heart, you clear your throat and glare at your brother with all the annoyance you can muster through your desired filled head.
“What the hell do you want, Minho?”
Your arms are still around Jisung’s neck and even though he’s not devouring you anymore, his body remains between your legs, one hand resting comfortably on your upper thigh. While your body shrunk away, Jisung stands tall, as sure of himself as always with no sign of awkwardness at being caught making out with his best friend’s sister by the best friend himself. This was your plan all along but somehow, he looks happier than you.
“What are you doing?” Minho repeats himself, voice louder and clearly angrier than before.
“Nothing now since you decided to butt in and ruin everything, like always!”
Even in this barely lit room, you can see the hurt flashing before his eyes and that, for some reason, tugs at your heartstrings in the most unpleasant way. He takes a step back and that’s when you gently nudge Jisung away, jumping down from the table ungracefully.
Neither of you speaks for several moments, just stare the other down like you were in a ring at a boxing match, trying to intimidate your opponent. It’s silly, especially since even Jisung chuckles under his breath, enjoying the show a little too much for your liking.
Maintaining eye contact, your brother crosses his arms in a show of deviance. “This is a low blow even for you, Y/n.”
That’s when you see red and march right up in his face, forgetting all about the compassion and guilt you felt a mere minute ago. “’Even for me?’ For me?! What about your best friend that’s standing right here laughing his ass off?”
“I was expecting this from him.” He states, glaring down at you. “He fucks everything that can walk, after all.”
His words feel like a knife straight to your heart, the finishing blow that causes you to visibly recoil out of Minho’s personal bubble and get knocked down momentarily. He wins this round; however, Minho doesn’t look pleased with his triumph.
His icy glare softens, jaw clenching in obvious regret but that doesn’t mean he stops there. “Jisung would ditch me in a foreign country if it meant getting his dick wet. You, however, are my sister. I didn’t expect such betrayal from you.”
“Payback is a fucking bitch, isn’t she?”
Behind you and completely out of the conversation, Jisung laughs like he’s heard the funniest joke of the century and that’s when you finally witness the effect of the alcohol in his veins. That’s when you realize he is indeed drunk and possibly high out of his mind – stuff you were too busy to notice when his tongue was down your throat.
Since he isn’t able to process the gravity of the situation, this is downright hilarious to him.
If Minho notices, he doesn’t say anything which only causes the alcohol that got to your own head to swirl angrily. “Payback? So, you did this out of fucking spite?”
“Of course, I did!” You explode, throwing your arms up in anger. “Don’t forget you hurt and betrayed me first! These are the results of your own actions, Minho!”
“I didn’t do it on fucking purpose, though!” His arms fall to the side, along his body, eyes as cold as ever. “I didn’t go out of my way to cook this scheme to deliberately hurt you, Y/n! You fucking did.”
That’s when all the fire in his eyes goes out, vanishing like him processing and putting together the pieces of your little plan was a bucket of cold water thrown on him. One that leaves him soaked and vulnerable, hurt. Hurt and disappointed.
You can live with that, disappointing him. It was the natural path of life, disappointing your older brother and everyone around with your poor choices. What you couldn’t live with, however, was hurting him.
Minho has always been a pillar in your life, strong and unmoving, almost undefeated. Nothing and nobody could ever take him down in your eyes, too powerful and resilient for anyone to even try. But what you learnt the hard way, was that this image you created of him in your head was far from the truth. He cried and broke down just like everyone else, just not in front of you. Not in front of his little sister who needed to know she could rely on him, needed to see him strong and unphased by all the stuff that made her cry her eyes out as he comforted her.
Hurting Minho felt like the world was suddenly swept from under your feet. Like you were suddenly floating in outer space with no place to call home. You were sure the pain caused by hurting him was greater for you than it was for him, even though he was the victim in the whole ordeal.
What you don’t know even to this day is that Minho felt the exact same. Because Minho never let you in, never showed you his vulnerable side and did everything to protect you without even consulting you first.
“This is still your fault.” You whisper, not being able to look him in the eyes anymore, the music suddenly too loud. “None of this would have happened if you didn’t come up with that stupid promise.”
The Lee siblings’ rule. The one that started this whole mess.
Shaking his head, Minho doesn’t make any effort to reach out to you anymore, voice devoid of any emotion that only makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. “Sorry for wanting to protect you.”
And with that, the first thing you see when you finally lift your head is him turning his back to you and walking away, still missing his jacket. Jacket he discarded for you and your well-being.
Your brother seems cold to others, mean even, but you always said his big heart would be his downfall. Putting everyone else above him will inevitably cause him to hit the bottom in the most painful way.
Just like he did now.
Your mind and heart are currently having a showdown, fighting for dominance in making the next choice. Your mind is screaming at you to turn around back into Jisung’s arm and forget all about your brother while your heart is pleading you to go after him, to fix everything. You want to do everything and nothing at the same time. It’s confusing, and exhausting, like a game of tug of war taking place right in your body with no regard to your slipping sanity.
In the end, your heart wins, knocking out your mind but as you move in the direction Minho disappeared, Jisung’s sturdy arms find your middle and pull you back instantly.
“Congrats, sweetheart.” He speaks lowly, almost like he was sober and you can’t stop the way your whole body melts against him, reacting on its own. “You finally got back at your brother.”
Something feels off about the way he says that so, you make to turn around in his arms just for him to let go and walk right past you, after Minho. That leaves you flabbergasted, confused and hurt with tears welling up in your eyes and before your mind can protest again, your heart makes the call and yells after him, desperate. Nobody pays you any mind though, acting like you weren’t there slowly crumbling to the ground in a pathetic display of emotions you can’t seem to control, heightened by the alcohol in your veins.
Like you were invisible, screaming into the darkest and coldest void, you remained there just silently crying.
Did Jisung just…abandon you? Choose your brother over the fragile heart you presented him with on a silver platter?
Was it all a game to him? Or was he just a pawn in the harmless game you created, the one that ended up hurting you the most?
How could he just walk away like nothing even happened? Like you were the bad guy this whole time?
Was this really what love felt like? Because if so, you had no desire to experience it ever again.
Like you were on autopilot, your body moves on its own in search of the only person that still has your back. The only person that you didn’t hurt or turn against you.
The tears running down your cheeks along with all the party goers and flashing lights make it harder for you to navigate and find him, but when you finally do, a loud sob escapes your now-chapped lips.
“Felix…”
Felix isn’t alone, busily locking lips with a random girl in the huge hot tub but the moment your voice reaches him, he pulls away instantly, eyes wide. When they fall on you and take in your state, the complete opposite of the one you left in, anger contorts his beautiful and soft features in a way not suited for his face. Unusual.
“Oh, I’m going to beat his fucking ass.”
・❥・・❥・・❥・
Somehow, things ended in the way Felix predicted at the beginning. Han Jisung left you all alone, struggling to put together the heart he broke carelessly like it meant nothing to him. The heart you gave him without a word that he wasn’t even aware of owning.
At first, everything was a game to you. A silly way to get back at the brother that hurt you without meaning to – a way to make Minho have a taste of his own medicine. But as time went on and your relationship progressed, you quickly realized that the feelings you harboured for Jisung weren’t as superficial as everyone thought. And so, the game slowly turned into something real and your mask dropped, abandoning the well thought out character you created just for this ploy.
Jisung was no longer a means to an end, he was someone you wanted to know everything about. Every quirk, every detail on his beautiful face along with everything that happened in his exciting world. Everything there was to know about Han Jisung, you wanted to become an expert in. Wanted to know him inside and out to be able to love it all without any hesitation.
But unfortunately, he didn’t share the same sentiment. As noble as his intentions were, Jisung only spent all of that time with you just to see your plan come to fruition, to help you achieve your silly revenge.
You were stupid for not realizing it sooner, for only seeing it the moment he walked away from you like one does from a stranger.
Han Jisung, the genius prodigy has outsmarted you once again. Only this time, it hurt so much to the point you struggled to breathe, the pieces of your broken heart puncturing your lungs.
His kisses and sinful lips took your breath away but forgot to return it, ring-cladded hands dropping your heart and letting it get stomped on by everyone at the party. You didn’t know what hurt more – not being able to breathe or not being able to feel anything else other than the phantom feeling of your missing heart?
“Good morning, sleepy head.” Felix’s morning voice brings you back to the present moment, eyes bleary with sleep and voice even lower than usual as he sets a plate on your lap while petting your head lovingly. “Why are you awake so early?”
It takes you a moment to recognize his place, the horrible headache only allowing your mind to curse at the stupidity you displayed last night by drinking too much. Currently on his plush couch, you’re sitting up with a fluffy blanket around your shoulders, still dressed in the clothes from the party, hair a mess.
“My head hurts.” Is all you manage to mumble, reaching up to rub at your tired eyes.
Felix chuckles lowly, his own blonde hair as dishevelled as you felt when he bends down to kiss the crown of your head. “Why don’t you go and take a shower? I laid out some new clothes for you to change into.”
You nod, seeing no point in protesting since you felt a bit gross anyway but, something holds you back. A scent. Jisung’s cologne is still present on your clothes and every time you move, a whiff of it reaches your nose and makes you feel lightheaded in the best way. His scent lingered on your skin, enveloping your body like a warm blanket and if you showered now, it would be all gone in a blink of an eye.
“Darling…” Felix mumbles and suddenly, his arms are bringing you into a warm embrace. “What’s wrong?”
You want to answer, to say it’s nothing but the moment your mouth opens, the only thing that escapes past your lips is a quiet sob which causes you to hide your face in his stomach. Felix’s hold on you tightens and his chin rests tenderly on the top of your head as he begins to comfort you quietly, palms running up and down your back soothingly.
He lets you cry for a while before coaxing your face out of hiding, wiping your tears and leading you to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. After, you put on the clothes he mentioned earlier and leaves the dress there, on the bathroom floor, its vibrant red colour suddenly dull and ugly but still smelling like the man that made it shine. Or rather, the man that made you shine while wearing it.
Twenty minutes later, you’re back on the couch you realized you’ve slept on, sitting while Felix gently removes your makeup and reminds you to eat some of the fruit he’s cut up for a light breakfast. His thoughtfulness regarding your hangover almost makes you tear up again but he’s right here to stop it just in time.
“Feeling much better now, right?” His voice is soft, eyes warm and full of compassion. “I tried to get you to change last night but you just passed out the moment you sat on the couch.”
You didn’t even realize you were that drunk. How embarrassing.
“Yeah, thank you, Lix.” You nod, closing your eyes as his gentle fingers bring the makeup wipe to remove the smudge eyeshadow.
For a few minutes, all you can hear is his humming as Felix focuses on removing all of the makeup from last night, treating your face with the utmost care. He comes to a stop at your lips that were crimson just hours ago, now with barely any lipstick left as most of it remained on Jisung’s face.
Then, his hand moves down, wiping at your neck before his brows furrow in slight confusion. “Why do you have lipstick on your neck?”
It dawns on the both of you once he moves your hair out of the way and you let out a surprised gasp as his fingers graze the side of your throat. Oh my god, you totally forgot about the hickey –
“Ew, Y/n.” Felix grimaces and looks away, letting his hand fall back into his lap. “What are you, fifteen?”
Your face feels like it’s on fire as images from last night start replaying in your head, recalling every breath, kiss and nip Jisung left on your heated skin, the way his hands caressed every curve and worshipped your body like it was a piece of art. He made you feel beautiful and wanted, something nobody has managed to do at the same time.
As your gaze lowers in embarrassment, you notice something incriminating on his own neck. “Are you being serious right now?” You can tell he has no idea what you’re talking about even as you reach over and pinch the skin, making him gasp as well. “Look at yourself!”
Curious, he grabs his phone and opens the front camera, pointing it to his neck. What he sees there makes his eyes widen comically and he stands up in a flash, running to the bathroom while cursing under his breath, not believing the trail of dark bruises that is currently staining his smooth skin. Felix, with all of his sex appeal, is not a fan of marking so his reaction along with the now louder curses leaving his lips have you laughing wholeheartedly. Until you remember Hyunjin is still sound asleep in the next room and you slap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sound.
“The first thing I told that girl last night was to keep her clammy ass mouth away from my neck! How the fuck am I going to show up to practice like this?”
He comes back into the room, huffing and puffing and with no care regarding Hyunjin’s beauty sleep.
“Clammy mouth?” You giggle, throwing your head back. “Don’t you mean wet, Lix?”
“Whatever! I’m too mad to speak proper English right now!”
Mad Felix looks exactly like an angry kitten, cute and not intimidating at all. Of course, that’s only the case when he isn’t mad at Han Jisung.
You reach out to comfort him once he sits back down, caressing the back of his head. “Don’t worry. I’ll cover them up for you.”
That seems to make him feel a tiny bit better and he lets himself fall back against the couch, head rolling to the side in sudden exhaustion. Even for him and his hangover self, it was too early in the morning for all of this drama. He was still handling everything way better than you though, stepping up to care for you first and his needs second. You really didn’t deserve him.
“By the way,” He mumbles, turning his head towards you. “Your brother texted me. He’s worried.”
Yeah, despite your fight, you didn’t doubt that one bit. Minho tends to worry about you even when there’s nothing to worry about, making himself sick in the process like he was a child and not a responsible adult.
“I guess I’ll have to go home and face him at some point.” You sigh.
Worry is also visible on his freckled features as you lay back next to him, voice soft and careful. “What happened? You were inconsolable last night.”
There’s no point in keeping it from him, even if remembering last night brings forth a multitude of emotions that almost overwhelm you. “It finally happened. Minho saw Jisung and I making out.”
Felix clicks his tongue and you know he finally understands everything, like this simple information was all he needed for the puzzle to be complete. Somehow, he isn’t surprised by it, nor is he taken aback – like you making out with Jisung was a usual occurrence that happened all the time. But since he saw the hickey, you’re guessing it would’ve been silly for him to not put two and two together.
“And? Isn’t this what you wanted from the beginning?”
Of course, it is. You were on this same couch when you came up with your silly master plan, after all.
“Yeah.” You nod, looking down as a wave of regret comes crashing over you. “But he got upset, more so than I did. He actually looked hurt, Lix.”
Felix raises an eyebrow. “Because you kissed his best friend? Are they in a secret relationship you didn’t tell me about?”
The laugh you let out allows more air to finally enter your lungs, clearing your head. “Uh, maybe? You know how weird they are.”
“Yeah, even weirder than us.” You both share a conspiratorial giggle, playfully nudging the other.
Reaching out for another piece of fruit on the forgotten plate, you continue. “Anyways, after that happened Jisung made me feel like everything was my fault and went after Minho, ignoring all of my attempts at trying to talk to him.”
This time, Felix is annoyed for real, no longer resembling an adorable kitten but a furious cat. Still cute but also intimidating. “You should’ve let me kick his ass a long time ago, Y/n. I could’ve beat the concept of ‘respect’ into him earlier on.”
You shake your head, not surprised in the slightest that Felix’s first response was once again related to violence. “You know, Lix, beating people up isn’t always the answer.”
The smile that stretches across his features is so bright and genuine, you’d think he just got the most amazing news of his life and isn’t currently plotting someone’s downfall. So cute but so vicious, Felix’s duality never fails to frighten you.
“Only when it comes to Han Jisung.” He shrugs nonchalantly, still smiling while putting his hands behind his head. “Violence is always my favourite answer then.”
You thought you and Felix were two peas in a pod but on second thought, maybe he and your brother are actual long-lost twins separated at birth. That would explain their shared love for resolving every conflict or problem by fighting. The only thing that differentiates them is their feelings towards Jisung.
Felix and Jisung have never gotten along, despite being pretty similar and their shared interests. A shame, really, but they just never clicked. Crossing paths in high school, every one of their conversations always ended in an argument, neither being able to get their point across in a civilized manner. It all started with a disagreement and Jisung being a bit too brash while making his point for Felix to get the ick and dislike him instantly. He thought Jisung was stuck up and annoying while the man thought Felix was a two-faced bitch, too fake for his liking.
There wasn’t any deeper reason for their beef, not that you were aware of anyway. Just two guys overflowing with testosterone hating each other’s guts.
“What are you going to do about him?” Felix asks eventually, wanting to get you out of your head.
You shrug because truth be told, you had no idea. “Maybe I’ll just stop bothering him. I think he’s made his feelings for me pretty clear.”
In translation: I think Jisung hates me so I’ll stop chasing an unobtainable fantasy and move on.
Felix used the best friend translator by the way he frowns with his whole face, looking like a rained-on kitten. “As much as I dislike this specimen, darling, I think you’re mistaken.”
Your stubbornness reaches a new high this morning because you don’t budge, shaking your head firmly. “He keeps slipping in and out of my life whenever he pleases, Lix. I’m tired.”
And he can see that, especially since he’s the one who could always see right through you and his heart can’t help but break at the sight. However, your best friend doesn’t budge either.
“I really think you should just have a heart-to-heart and figure it all out together.” He says softly, reaching out to move some hair out of your face.
Leaning into his touch, you move closer, suddenly needing one of his healing hugs. “Nope. I’m done being the one that does all the chasing. I want to be chased for once. Want to have someone be afraid of losing me.”
His arm around your middle tightens its hold, squeezing reassuringly in a silent show of support. However, where you expected him to drop it, Felix instead says something that throws your whole world upside down, giving you whiplash in the process.
“Don’t you love him?”
Pulling away from him like burnt, the incredulous look on your face makes him chuckle, casually reaching for another piece of fruit like he isn’t pushing you to admit feelings you aren’t even sure of. But, when have you ever been sure of anything? Were you really that oblivious, missing the clear signs all the damn time?
Defeated, you look down and your next words come out not louder than a whisper. “I don’t know…”
Felix can sympathize, you’re sure. Once, he had multiple people confess to him at the same time and the whole ordeal confused him so much that he ended up rejecting the one person he actually cared for just because he didn’t take time to himself to realize his feelings. It was a mess but on one hand, it showed you the way you shouldn’t act when it came to love. Peer pressure could be a horrible thing.
He nods, as understanding as ever. “Okay, then think about it.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for years now, Lix.” You sigh, on the brink of exasperation. “What if it’s just physical attraction? What then?”
“That’s a good enough start.” A small smile creeps onto his features. “You can still start dating and end up falling for him properly.”
Okay, that’s something you never thought you’d hear from your best friend of all people. Felix? Encouraging you to date Jisung? What the fuck kind of parallel universe did you step into while you were sleeping?
“You want me to…” You can barely finish the sentence, so flabbergasted and suddenly suspicious of the person in front of you. “date Jisung? You?!”
Felix laughs and nods, happiness radiating off of him like you’re talking about his favourite video game and not the guy he can’t stand. “You’ve been talking my ear off about this guy for so long now, Y/n. Can you blame me for finally getting tired?”
Heat rushes to your face and you groan, bringing one of the blankets up to swallow you whole, hiding from his teasing.
“Besides,” He continues, gently prying your hands off to look you in the eyes, “nobody has the right to tell you who to love or not, not me and especially not Minho. The way I’ve been acting wasn’t okay and I’m sorry.”
As his words sink in, you slowly realize that what he’s saying is right. Both he and Minho have been brushing your feelings aside for years, discouraging and building wall after wall between you and the only person you’ve truly ever wanted. But even so, even with all the obstacles, flowers still managed to bloom their way to him, one by one carrying a small piece of your heart among their colourful petals.
The question was, did he even pick them up? Make his way around the concrete walls to collect all the pieces of the puzzle that made your feelings. Did he plant flowers of his own or just leave yours to wither pathetically, not even sparing them a glance?
You’ve never seen behind the many walls, never knew what exactly was waiting for you at the end of it all. But, throughout the years, you’ve caught a glimpse here and there, of Jisung carrying a small bouquet of fragile flowers in his strong arms, just for them to slip through his fingers one by one a moment later. A heartbreaking sight that usually brought tears to your eyes, ones that dried instantly the moment he started trying to take down those walls that only seemed to regenerate with just one look from Minho. Or a simple sentence from Felix.
This past month spent by his side is the most you’ve seen of him, like somehow, he managed to lift you above it all so you could finally see past the many barriers and obstacles. That’s why, the events that took place last night felt like he finally got tired of carrying you, dropping your flowers back to your side and out of his sight.
Out of sight, out of mind. Did Jisung finally realize he was allergic to flowers?
Tears well up in your eyes for the nth time that morning but now, you just look away stubbornly, not wanting Felix to see, building a wall between you two as well.
“Well, it doesn’t really matter now since I’m never going to speak to Han Jisung again.”
Guilt and sadness radiate off of your best friend who sits up, with a hint of something that smells exactly like annoyance. “Darling, please – “
“No. My mind is made up, Lix.”
He exhales deeply, trying to remain calm. “Fine, then I guess you have no problem with me going over to knock him out.”
That gets all of your attention, making you snap your head in his direction in a panic. “Felx, no – “
・❥・・❥・・❥・
After a long and tedious conversation with Felix, somewhere along the line Hyunjin got woken up and joined, and then you had two people pestering you about your stupid childhood crush. For someone who was against it for so long, Felix was surely insistent in trying to make you see his point, not giving up until he convinced you to talk to Jisung.
Or that’s what he thinks. You finally agreed just to get him off your back for the time being, so that conversation is surely not happening any time soon. Of course, you wanted to see Jisung and speak to him – you had a whole list of things you wanted to ask him – but, not right now.
Now, you need to stop making him a priority in your life. Your every thought couldn’t revolve around him anymore, even though this proved to be the most difficult task of them all when all you seemed to think about late at night was him and the way his lips burnt every inch of your skin with their sinful kisses. So intense it never failed to make you dizzy each time.
Speaking off, that same night you made your way back to your own house, leaving behind two pouting grown-ups that enjoyed your company a little too much. Can one develop separation anxiety after one day spent together? If so, Hyunjin and Felix might need therapy.
Still dressed in a pair of sweats and hoodie that belonged to Felix, with your dress and heels in a plastic bag, you quietly unlocked the front door to the apartment you and your brother got together once you started university. It was a nice place, dare say even nicer than the one Felix and Hyunjin shared, but it still couldn’t compare to your actual house. But that house was in a neighbourhood on the other side of the city and commuting to your university each day was a hassle. Jisung, who lived in the same neighbourhood didn’t have that problem since he went to a different university so he’s still living with his parents when he isn’t travelling around the country with 3racha.
As you quietly closed the door and began removing your shoes, hurried tiny footsteps ran over to greet you, excited by your final arrival. All three of the cats surrounded you, with Dori being the first to plop down on your feet and show his belly, purring loudly and melting your heart in the process.
“Y/n?” Minho’s voice calls out from somewhere in the house and you hesitate for a moment before following it, flipping on all the lights on your way to him. Minho’s telltale sign was that every time he was sad, he just sat in complete darkness, wallowing in self-pity with his phone as the only light source. If your heart wasn’t already ripped in two, that would’ve done it.
“Hey, Min.” As expected, you find him on the couch, wrapped snuggly in a fluffy blanket, completely ignoring the tv in the background that was lighting up his face. Turning on the lights, he turns to you squinting. “Are you a vampire now, or what?”
Your brother tries to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes that were already devoid of any light. Silently, he pats the seat beside him and you comply instantly, sitting down and forgetting all about your bags.
“Hi.” He greets softly, turning his body towards you. “I was worried when you didn’t come home last night.”
“I’m sorry.” The apology escapes you before you can even dwell on it, truly feeling bad. “For everything, Min.”
Minho shakes his head, not wanting to hear any of it. “If there’s one of us that needs to apologize, then it’s certainly me. I’m sorry, Y/n.”
And you know exactly what he’s talking about. The pact, the fact that he made you promise you would never act upon your feelings for his best friend. You weren’t stupid – the whole thing started because of him and him alone, Jisung. But, were your feelings that bad? Such horrible ones that deserved to be locked away and drowned every time they wanted to come to the surface?
Was love such a crime?
Taking into account the way Jisung abandoned you last night, acting like nothing ever happened between the two of you, you guessed it was. Maybe Minho was right after all, not allowing you to go after his best friend.
Still, your curiosity was now greater than ever. It had years to grow and flourish after all.
“Why…did you do it?” There was no need for you to clarify, Minho knew exactly what you were talking about.
With a sigh, he brings the blanket closer, almost like he wants to hide. “I knew you were infatuated with Jisung back then, Y/n. But he was going through the biggest heartbreak of his life at the time and after what happened with Felix, I couldn’t sit back and let you go through something similar again.”
You’re silent, thinking back on that time of your life. So back then, when you were crying on his chest in his car, Jisung was falling apart? With his heart broken in two, struggling to keep it together, he held and comforted you without thinking twice, desperately wanting to make you feel better.
Jisung was in pain yet he still managed to mend the heart he didn’t break. Still managed to put you back together while his light was slowly fading away.
Jisung did all of that…for you?
“The whole ordeal left him numb to a lot of things in the long run so I couldn’t let you fall for him when I knew he wasn’t in the right head space to return your feelings.” Minho continues, taking your silence as his sign to do so. “I didn’t want to see you in pain again.”
He scoots closer to you on the couch, touching your knee with his since you’re both sitting cross-legged. “So then, the idea of the pact came to me. I was all like ‘okay, what can I do to prevent my little sister from getting hurt?’”
A multitude of emotions come rushing forward, hitting you at the same time as they threaten to bubble to the surface with an ugly sob. Sadness, anger, happiness – you have no idea how to feel after everything’s finally been revealed. A part of you is thankful for your brother and the way he wanted to save you from another heartbreak but the other one, is upset he didn’t tell you sooner. If only he talked to you back then and let you know the way things were, maybe everything going forward would have ended up in a completely different way.
Maybe the reality you live in now, would only have been a bad dream, something you didn’t think twice about.
Maybe – wait a damn second.
Something other than the urge to cry into your brother’s arms hits you harder, and you can’t help but frown, brows furrowing. “I never told you about what happened with Felix. Why do you know about that?”
His doe eyes widen once he realises what he’s said, slowly raising a hand to cover his mouth in shock before turning away from you altogether. Minho’s done it now, letting such a big secret slip out carelessly. Jisung was going to kill him, no doubt.
“So, um,” He starts, still not facing you for safety reasons. “Jisung…told me?”
“What?!” You blurt out. “I begged him not to tell you! What the hell?”
Back then, when Jisung came to pick you up from school instead of Minho and you cried in his arms for hours on end, babbling on about missing your best friend and whatnot, you made Jisung promise he wouldn’t tell a soul. Especially to your overprotective brother who had no problem beating kids with a stick if they as much as looked at you in a funny way.
It was your moment of vulnerability where nothing made sense anymore, how could Jisung just betray you like this?
Every time you find out a piece of information about him that puts him back into your good graces, another one has to follow that paints him like the biggest asshole.
Turning to you, Minho shakes his head. “You were crying in his car, Y/n. He only told me after I promised I wasn’t going to bring it up to you in any way. He was worried and wanted to know if I had any idea what was going on between you and Felix.”
Groaning, you bury your face in one of the many decorative pillows around and let your head fall back against the couch. “You both are fucking insufferable and I’m tired of you.”
You feel him get closer, but the one that coaxes you out of hiding is the furball that senses your distress and jumps into your lap, pushing his little head into your open palm. When you look down, Dori meows cutely and you melt.
“That’s when you fell for him, right?” Minho asks hesitantly, visibly curious about your lingering feelings for his best friend. “When he comforted you in his car?”
Thanks to Dori’s presence, you’re willing to push your previous conversation aside for the time being. Jisung is going to get in trouble for spilling soon enough, even though the care he held for you back then is rather touching.
“No, that’s when I became obsessed with him.”
He grimaces and you can’t help but laugh, petting the feline in your lap lovingly as the other two join and surround Minho.
“Jisung was my first kiss,” You continue, averting your gaze, “that’s when I fell for him, I guess.”
Confused, Minho shoots you a look that makes you think you grew another head or something. “No, he wasn’t. Felix was.”
Now you’re the confused one, brows furrowing as you begin glaring at his audacity. “It was MY first kiss! What makes you think you know better than me who had his tongue down my throat?!”
Miho actually gags at the image, your words alone being enough to make him sick. Soonie and Doongie try to comfort him to the best of their abilities but it’s no use, the disgusted look on his face not showing any signs of fading. He at least has the decency to look away to not offend you.
“When did that even happen?” He manages to let out after several moments, still a bit uncomfortable.
“Um,” you trail off, pretending to think about it like the memory wasn’t actually locked away in a special chamber of your heart. “In my second year of high school, a few months after Felix started ignoring me for his girlfriend.”
Then it hits you both at the same time. That’s when Minho came up with the promise, the dammed pact that ruined your every chance at true love. Your brother wasn’t the first one that broke your promise, you were! A month after you both made it too! Oh my god –
“You…” Minho’s mouth falls open slightly, looking at you in shock as he can’t believe the epiphany he just had. Not like he can’t, he doesn’t want to believe it. His sister and his best friend, making out right after he made sure to drill the importance of staying away from each other in their thick heads? There was no way. No way in hell.
The laugh you let out is awkward, and uncomfortable, as you begin putting distance between yourself and your brother who looks like he just found out aliens were real.
He’s looking straight into your eyes now, all disgust and playfulness gone as he stares into your soul, unveiling all of your hidden secrets like it’s the easiest thing in the world. There’s a brief pause when neither of you says anything before suddenly, Minho lounges forward and you shriek, kicking your feet and scaring the cats away. As expected, it's no use because your brother gets you in a loose headlock in the blink of an eye, ruffling your hair playfully as you struggle to get free, giggling.
“And you had the audacity to cause a scene a few weeks ago when you kissed my best friend and broke our promise the same month we made it! You fucking menace!”
After weeks of silent treatment and nasty looks, you and your brother are finally laughing together and having fun, making everything right in the world again. At some point, Minho can barely breathe as you begin tickling him before sneaking a pillow in your grasp to smack him right in the face. He deserves it after gossiping with Jisung about your teenage drama like your life was a damn trashy tv show.
When things finally calm down, you’re both on the floor surrounded by pillows and still fighting the random fits of giggles.
“Min.” He hums in response, now busy petting one of the cats. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I had broken our promise back then. It completely slipped my mind, both during and after the kiss.”
Complaining under his breath, in his playful manner, Minho shakes his head and looks at you next to him. “Since we’re back to apologising, please forgive me for causing you all this pain throughout the years.”
“Nonsense.” You quickly dismiss his apology, nudging his shoulder. “You were just trying to protect me, like you’ve always done. I see that now.”
“I tried to protect you without realizing I was the one actually causing you harm.” He sighs, still down about the whole thing.
Without another word, you just reach over and pull his body into a tight hug, like he usually does to you when upset. “We were both stupid, alright? Let’s just move past this.”
You still sense a brief hesitation in him as he returns the hug, patting your back comfortingly, a habit he’s kept since childhood that always lifted your spirits.
“Alright.” He pulls away, holding you by the shoulders while nodding firmly. “But you have to go and confess your undying love to Jisung right now!”
You cringe, crestfallen as you suddenly remember your shattered heart. “Yeah, about that. I’m never doing that so – “
“Y/n, what the actual fuck?”
・❥・・❥・・❥・
Days pass and everything slowly goes back to normal. Your relationship with your brother improves with every conversation since you decided to be more honest with each other, to bare your souls at every opportunity that calls for it. It’s hard at first, but seeing Minho try his best to make things right by you makes it all worth it. You and Felix also go back to normal, with lighter hearts now that the small bump on the road of your relationship was crossed and left behind.
Han Jisung doesn’t reach out once during the week, nor do you run into him again. It’s like he somehow disappears off the face of the earth, locking himself away in his comfortable bubble and not granting anyone access.
You don’t see nor hear from him but neither do the others. Except for your brother, who first mentions him almost a week after that dammed party, just to tell you Jisung cancelled their weekly hang-out session. It’s strange and completely out of the blue and after two weeks pass, even the proof of the love he left on your neck is pretty much healed, now only being a fleeting memory.
Just like the time you spent at the arcade when he managed to steal your heart completely. Looking at your homescreen now, that still displays a picture of you two from that time, hurts like a small dagger twisting itself into the place your heart once was. It’s really not fair how Jisung gets to have two hearts while you’re left struggling to keep going without yours. What a selfish, selfish man.
However, all of that sadness suddenly turns into anger when halfway through the third week, Jisung puffs back into existence. And where else other than at another party, having the time of his life without a care in the world about the people he’s hurt? You, about the fact that he hurt you.
Minho tries to keep you away from it, as always, keeping the pictures and videos of his best friend going wild way out of reach for the sake of your happiness.
But, as expected, at some point you just have enough.
“Can you drive me to Jisung’s?” The request comes out of the blue, on a random thursday afternoon, giving Minho no time to hide his obvious surprise and questioning gaze. Without a word, you tug the necklace that once belonged to Jisung out of your shirt to present to your brother, hoping he gets the hint and does as you asked without complaint.
Though there isn’t anything to end here, no relationship whatsoever, you still want to see him and get some things off your chest. Returning everything you have that belongs to him (which isn’t much) is going to be the final step for this chapter to close. This long chapter you’ve been writing since high school, with Jisung as the main character in the story called ‘you’, will finally come to an end. A bittersweet one you’ll cry yourself to sleep over for weeks to come, but at least, you’ll be free.
If only it was that easy, to free yourself from the love you carry for him.
What once started as a beautiful and hopeful story about searching for love quickly turned into a tragedy. In your eyes, at least. You were sure Jisung wasn’t even on the same page as you, let alone anywhere close to the ending. Despite being such an amazing lyricist, he’s never bothered to help you write your story.
Your brother is silent, chewing on his bottom lip nervously as he realizes what you want to do.
“You can say no.” You shrug, not looking at him. “If you don’t drive me there, I’ll ask Felix. I’m not dropping this until I get to his house.”
Reluctantly, Minho agrees and you drive there that same day.
Usually, being back in the neighbourhood you grew up in would have you giddy with excitement, happy to be back. But now, as you get out of the car in front of Jisung's parents’ house, that’s only a street away from yours, you’re anything but that.
You haven’t been here in years, unlike your brother who basically sees this place as his second home so to say you’re nervous would be an understatement. Memories come rushing back from years ago, all happy and laughter-inducing, just like Jisung used to be. Hilarious and bright was the boy you fell for back then, just like no other.
The Jisung nowadays was just a shadow of his former self. Maybe that’s why your story was coming to an end – the main character got switched out with another mid-way through.
“Call me when you’re done.” Minho honks, opening the window so you can hear him shout after scaring you half to death with the stupid car horn. “We’ll go and get ice cream after, okay?”
Ah, yes, ice cream. The remedy for every broken heart. Your brother knows you a little too well.
Once you nod, he’s off, seemingly not wanting to witness your and his best friend’s relationship go down the drain. A relationship he only started to support weeks ago, mind you.
After five minutes of internal pep talk, you stroll towards his front door with purpose, ignoring the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you at the familiar action. You, here, ringing this doorbell suddenly made you feel ten again. It was weird.
Your pulse picks up as footsteps from inside get louder and louder, approaching the door leisurely. Jisung was there, on the other side, and you were finally going to see him after he abandoned you that night. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe it was all a mistake –
But as you’re thinking this, the door swings open and you almost collapse right there and then.
Because the person standing in front of you isn’t Jisung. But a girl, a beautiful one at that. One that looks exactly like his type, smiling brightly like she owns the place.
“Hello.” Her voice is soft and gentle and it almost brings tears to your eyes. “Can I help you?”
Can she? Yes, she can help you by closing the door again and allowing you to run away and skip making an absolute fool of yourself.
Why did you think the ‘most passed around man of the year’ wouldn’t have someone over? How could you be this stupid time and time again? You deluded yourself into thinking he actually had some sort of feelings for you and forgot all about his track record and the people he still fucked when you weren’t around.
After every show, every performance, every party. You were a clown, and now you’re paying the price for your stupidity. Tragic, really. Why is there suddenly circus music playing?
“I – um…” On top of being a clown, now you can’t even speak proper English. Way to go, Y/n, embarrass yourself in front of Jisung’s beautiful hookup some more, she’s surely not enjoying this.
Her smile doesn’t flinch an inch but her eyes soften, most likely taking pity on you. “Are you okay?” Nope, not at all. But before you can let out another embarrassing sound as an answer, one that serves to mask the sound of your heart breaking into hundreds of teeny tiny pieces, something like recognition flashes before her big eyes. “Oh! I’m so sorry! Are you here to see Jisung?”
You have to do everything in your power to not collapse at the way his name leaves her pink and glossy lips, so softly and elegant it almost makes you feel bad she’s just a hookup.
“God, I’m an idiot.” She shakes her head, slapping her forehead. “Of course, you are! This is his house, after all, please come in!”
Surprise and confusion hit you all at once so, instead of taking her up on her offer, you step back, trying to wrap your head around whatever the fuck was happening. Why was Jisung’s fuck buddy inviting you inside, acting like she owned the place? What the hell is happening?
Thankfully, another voice makes itself known and interrupts the awkward moment before you can burst into tears right on this front porch.
“Y/n? Is that you?”
Looking up, past the girl is an all too familiar face you haven’t seen in ages, one that looks so similar to the man you love. He smiles, sweetly, and you recognize him immediately.
“Jihun?”
On the count of two breaths, he has your body pulled into a tight hug, basically dragging you inside with him, past the random girl who managed to step on your poor heart with a single sentence. Jihun, Jisung’s older brother that moved away years ago hugs you like you’re his own little sister, all warm and friendly and just…comforting. It’s refreshing, and you can’t stop yourself from returning the embrace and smiling from ear to ear, happy to be reunited after so long.
The last time you saw him, Jihun was fresh out of high school, the proud owner of a diploma that took him far away from home, helping him land a spot at one of the best universities in the country. It’s been almost ten years since then and the man in front of you was already unrecognizable, no longer the boy you met as a child.
The whole ordeal makes you emotional, causing you to reflect and look back on the last ten years of your life. What you’ve been doing, what you managed to accomplish and whatnot. Oh, what you wouldn’t give to be able to turn back time, just for ten minutes, to bask in that comforting and stress-free life again.
“How have you been, kiddo?” Is the first thing he asks once he sets you back down, beaming. “I feel like I see Minho all the time but you’re just never here when I visit, little Lee.”
Oh, yes. That nickname will never die apparently.
You open your mouth to reply but without meaning to, he cuts you off, hands on your shoulder. “You’ve grown up so well!”
An airy laugh makes your left eye twitch from behind you as the unknown girl approaches. “Babe, please let the girl talk. You’ve been babbling non-stop for the past five minutes.”
Wait…babe?
Babe?! Jihun was her babe?
Noticing your wide eyes, Jihun’s smile grows even bigger than you thought was possible as he reaches for the woman’s hand to plant a kiss on the smooth skin.
“Y/n, this is my fiancé, Yuri! We came to visit my parents but they forgot to tell their other son they’ll be out of the country at this time.” then he turns to her and you swear his pupils shapeshift into two hearts. “Sorry, I got distracted, love.”
Yuri shakes her head, seemingly used to his excitement before standing on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. “It’s fine, baby.” Then, she turns to you, still smiling. “Nice to meet you, Y/n.”
You nod, visibly calmer as everything finally makes sense in your head. “Nice to meet you too!” Unfortunately, that’s still all you manage to let out, a bit shaken up by the roller-coaster of emotions you went through in the past 5 minutes.
“I’m guessing you’re here to see my precious little brother, huh?” Jihun’s smile turns playful as he wiggles his eyebrows and the similarities between him and Jisung have never been stronger.
Speaking of the wolf, you barely manage to nod before said little brother suddenly appears at the end of the stairs, all fluffy hair and round, thin-rimmed golden glasses. He’s dressed casually, in a beige sweatshirt and sweatpants, good for laying around but not good for your sanity as the mere sight of him still manages to make you nervous.
Disbelief can be read on his puffy face, lips pursuing in a slight pout as he looks between you and his brother, waiting for an explanation. Other than that, your presence in his house doesn’t seem to affect him too greatly.
“What’s this?” He finally lets out, rolling his eyes when Jihun greets him loudly like they haven’t seen each other in a while. His voice is deeper than usual, presumably sleepy and you almost feel bad for disturbing his rest. Almost.
“Y/n came to see you!” Jihun blurts out, wrapping an arm around Yuri’s shoulders to pull her closer.
His curious gaze meets yours and you feel your breath hitch in your throat, like a deer caught in headlights under his piercing eyes. Every single fiber of your being is telling you to run away, forget about what you wanted to do and just go home, closing the chapter of Han Jisung without any type of closure. However, the dormant anger that’s still bubbling in your veins at the behaviour he displayed for the past month, dictates otherwise.
So, your own gaze narrows as you manage to shake off all the nerves and doubts lingering on the surface. “We need to talk.”
Not being able to control his reaction, Jihun gasps, surprised by the animosity that floats in the air between you two. Jisung on the other hand, remains as calm as ever, nonchalantly shoving his hands in his pockets. “About?”
Your silence is louder than any spoken reason as you continue to glare at the blonde, not budging until he gives in. But Jisung is just as stubborn, meeting your challenging gaze head-on, firmly convinced there’s nothing you two need to talk about. Not anymore.
To the side and well out of the loop, Jihun and Yuri can’t help but snicker under their breaths, finding your glaring match positively adorable. Not like they’ll admit it out loud though.
After a few tense moments, the older brother butts it. “You should listen to her, Jisung.”
“Shut the fuck up.” He snaps, his glare and hidden anger finding another victim which takes you by complete surprise. If he shares your sentiment, Jihun doesn’t let it show because his whole demeanour changes instantly and his kind eyes and smile are replaced by an icy glare, one that causes Jisung to look away and sigh in a blink of an eye.
The exchange gives you whiplash but it seems it’s what Jisung needed to give in and turn to you, tugging the ends of his honey blonde locks in an obvious show of uncertainty. He didn’t want to do this – talk to you – it’s obvious by his tense body language alone.
“Come on.” He mumbles in your direction, not even waiting for a reaction before turning around and making his way up the stairs, two at a time. It hurts but your anger helps you push forward, following him before giving the other two, especially Jihun, a grateful smile to which they reply warmly.
Jisung’s room is at the end of a long hallway and you hesitate before stepping in, quickly dawning on you it is going to be the first time you see his safe space, his sanctuary. Seeing someone’s room was on another level of intimacy, especially since this is the place he grew up in, a level he only seemed to have reached with your brother and his many hookups.
When you do enter, he signals for you to close the door as he makes himself comfortable on the couch that’s pushed at the other end of the room.
You’re left in awe at the layout that’s two times bigger than your own room back at your parents’ house, split into two. On one side, Jisung has a big, double bed, neatly made, along with a dresser and two end tables, all dark wood. But on the other side, facing the huge windows that are currently engulfing the whole room in a warm light, is a makeshift studio with all the necessary equipment. Laptop, keyboard and guitar are all very impressive but what steals your attention is the adjustable mic surrounded by soundproof foam and all the music sheets scattered everywhere, filled with his recognizable handwriting. The couch at the far end of the room, on his little studio’s side, looks exactly like the one from Changbin’s place, just sporting black leather instead of brown.
Somehow, the lived in space makes you feel like you’re intruding. But, by his relaxed stance, splayed on the couch, Jisung doesn’t feel the same. He looks almost comfortable, as comfortable as he can be with all the tension floating around and threatening to suffocate you both.
You being in his room isn’t a big deal to him, like you’ve been here numerous times already. What is, however, is the conversation he’s dreading to have with you.
“So,” he sighs, tired, the bags under his eyes visible even through the lenses, “what did you want to talk about?”
There’s no sign of the usual fondness in his voice, no warmth or anything of the sort and it suddenly makes you feel like you’re two strangers, forced to interact for a uni project.
Han Jisung, for all the years you’ve known him, has never spoken to you like this. A pet name, a joke or a blinding smile was always present when you interacted, no matter how down or out of it he was. It made you feel cared for, special even. Now it just felt like the past you shared was suddenly washed away like the writing on a blackboard.
Pulling yourself together enough to look at him, you reach into one pocket and fish out the necklace he gave you, his eyes widening briefly at the sight. Almost like someone hit him right in the stomach.
“I came to return this to you.” You shrug, delicately placing the jewellery on the table.
He shakes his head before you can even finish the sentence, sitting straighter, and that’s when you notice he’s still wearing your ring, still on the finger you placed it. Even more so, it’s the only ring he’s wearing.
“I don’t want it.” He scoffs. “I gave it to you, so keep it.”
“Well, I don’t want it either.” You frown, crossing your arms over your chest at his stubbornness. “It’s your necklace, take it.”
“No.”
Is all he says and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s expecting you to drop it, take the necklace back and leave. Too bad you’re done pleasing him.
Letting out a big sigh, you drop your arms. “Don’t be difficult for no reason, Jisung.”
“Me?” He gives you an incredulous look. “How about you stop being difficult and actually tell me why you’re here?”
Okay, you didn’t take into account the possibility of him seeing right through you and your silly, made-up reason. Abandon ship, everybody out!
You don’t respond and for a moment, you’re left staring each other down like you’re lifelong enemies. Throughout the years, you and Jisung have never disagreed on anything so the fact that you’re arguing right now, on the verge of an actual fight, must be as strange for him as it’s for you.
A lover’s quarrel, like Jihun whispered when you were making your way up the stairs. Only, you’re not even lovers, just quarreling for no reason at all.
“Fine.” You give in, leaning against the desk as you glare him down. “You’ve been ignoring me since Changbin’s party. Why?”
Jisung is so taken aback by your bluntness that he’s left scrambling for an answer, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He’s not used to being confronted like this, you can tell. His groupies and hookups would never because they were aware that as soon as they opened their mouths to even try, they’d be dropped faster than an elective class.
Clearing his throat, he manages to pull himself together to reply. “I helped you get back at Minho. What more do you want from me?”
The way he says it, with such indifference hits you like a slap in the face. “Wait, are you fucking serious?”
You move away from the desk, towards him, anger, hurt and disappointment flashing behind your wild eyes. Something he seems to notice by the way he curls into himself, almost like he wants to become one with the couch.
“So, everything that happened between us means absolutely nothing to you?”
Without meaning to, your voice cracks at the end and that’s when he stands up as well, the look in his eyes much different than the tone of his voice. Softer, more mellow.
“To me?!” Jisung takes a step forward, which only prompts you to take one back, increasing the distance. Being too close to him was always dangerous territory – you could never think straight when he was within arm’s reach. “You’re the one that used me to make Minho mad! Everything you claim happened between us was done with upsetting him in mind.”
Then, much softer than he’s been today, eyes boring right into yours with a familiar intensity, he adds. “Don’t suddenly act like you have feelings for me.”
That’s the moment your heart stops, right in his unknowing hands. It feels like he suddenly squeezed and blocked all the valves from pumping the blood correctly, stealing your heartbeat in the process. You’re left staring at him, mouth part and with tears welling up in your eyes but for the first time in your life, Jisung doesn’t rush to comfort you like he always does.
You’ve cried in front of him before and his first instinct was to reach out and bury your face in his sturdy chest, letting you soak his shirt without a care in the world. Now, he just looks away, jaw clenched in mild discomfort and you have no idea what to do.
Tearing your wavering gaze away from him to give your poor heart a break, you mumble. “You’re horrible, Han Jisung.”
He snorts, without any hint of amusement, stepping closer and getting a hold of your chin to gently turn your face towards his. “Tell me something I don’t know, Y/n.”
Looking into his eyes, you search the beautiful brown void for a glimpse of the fondness he usually displayed in front of you. Something that can tell you what he’s actually feeling, anything. But there’s nothing, just an unexplainable sadness that tears you apart piece by piece, slowly and painfully.
But not painful enough to silence you. “If either one of us is acting right now, that’s you.”
His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t push you away. “Don’t speak like you know me, Y/n. You have no idea how well I can actually act.”
“Sure do.” You shrug, boldly inching closer to his face. “You’ve been acting like you gave a fuck about me for a month straight. That takes serious talent.”
Jisung smirks, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he steps back, letting go of you. “Well, the play is officially over. There’s no reason for you to be here any longer so, feel free to leave.”
And suddenly, all of your subdued anger is back. “Why are you being like this?” You throw your hands up, carefully studying his every reaction. “Aren’t you tired of always hiding yourself behind countless masks and personas? Tired of never saying what you think?”
Judging by the deep sigh he lets out, Jisung is in fact tired. If it’s of you or the situation at hand, you don’t know, but he looks exhausted, tugging at the ends of his hair while throwing his glasses aside, on the couch.
“Fine, you want to know what I think?” He spreads his arms out, almost like inviting you in, eyes as sharp as ever while his voice raises in volume slightly. “I hate that all I was to you was a fucking way to upset Minho! I hate how you could bring yourself to use me like I meant nothing!”
By now, you’re also growing tired and more irritable, reaching to harshly rub at your eyes before getting closer, close enough to feel his body heat and hear his ragged breath. “Will you stop saying that? I didn’t use you, Jisung!”
“Then what the fuck do you call what we’ve been doing, Y/n?” His voice is loud, but he doesn’t cross the line into yelling territory. He does everything in his power to remain composed, to respect you to some extent. You can tell by this back-and-forth that neither of you is a fan of arguing and that the whole ordeal is stressing you out greatly.
But if that’s the only way you can get your point across to Jisung, it had to be done.
“I don’t know!” You exclaim just as loud, restless. “I came to you because Minho wronged me and I knew you would have my back! Never once in my life did I want to hurt you!”
Silence follows your outburst and you’re both left staring at each other, analysing every breath, twitch or movement. His gaze soon tears away from you, eyes downcast as he moves his weight from one foot to the other, mumbling. “Technically, we wronged Minho first when we kissed back then.”
You nod, recalling the conversation you’ve had with your brother a week ago. “Right. Should I also accuse you of using me back when you were thinking about another girl while kissing me?”
That’s low, you know it is, a hit below the belt that has Jisung’s eyes widening and snapping to yours in a mere second. He can’t seem to answer for a moment, and you suddenly feel horrible for reminding him of the heartbreak he went through back then, realising you went a bit too far with your pettiness this time around.
But Jisung shakes it off like it didn’t even happen, face settling into another sturdy mask like you didn’t just shatter the previous one.
When he looks at you now, a shiver runs down your spine as he towers over you, quickly bouncing back from the biting remark. “Why? Are you going to throw a tantrum in a fit of jealousy? Act like a spoiled brat again?”
Something in the way he says that last part of the sentence makes your knees go weak, whole atmosphere changing along with the suffocating tension that is now almost delicious. He’s deflecting again, you know it, but you can’t bring yourself to go back or hold it against him, not when he gave you the perfect opportunity to finally tell him how you feel. To finally let to light these feelings you’ve nurtured for him for years.
You aren’t expecting him to return any of it, though. That’s not why you came here, either. You just want to finally get them off your chest, pass all of this unrequited love to him in hopes that your body and mind will feel just a little bit lighter.
So, in a bold display of confidence, you ignore your shaking hands and remaining anger and step closer until you’re chest to chest, looking up into his eyes with sincerity. “Since I seem to love you, I actually might.”
Jisung’s whole bravado collapses instantly, mouth parting while his eyebrows shoot up in complete surprise, not believing his ears. That was the last thing he was expecting to come out of your mouth, you can tell because you’re just as surprised at the ease with which the words tumbled out.
Taking a whole step back, Jisung’s hands find your shoulders as he leans down to rest his forehead against yours, not allowing you to break eye contact even for a second.
“Say that again.” The heart you’ve sought after for so long is pounding in his chest in the same tune as yours, almost like they were having a whole separate conversation. Confessing their love again and again with only the sweetest words, longing for the day they’ll finally be together through you and him.
Your heart felt whole again when you were with him, returning to its rightful place and bringing life back into your almost dormant body.
The words get stuck in your throat and you suddenly wish he could read your mind, hear for himself the extent of your feelings because, at this point, you’re sure love is too trivial of a word to accurately describe what you feel when he’s around. What you’ve always felt for him.
“I…” His hands move up to cup both of your cheeks tenderly and you melt, forgetting every thought you’ve ever had that is not related to Han Jisung. “I’m in love with you, Jisung. Truly.”
He sighs and bows his head, the hot air hitting your lips and making goosebumps appear all over your body. When he speaks, his words come out barely above a whisper, a stark contrast to the way he was speaking ten minutes ago.
“Don’t…play with me, Y/n. I don’t think my heart will be able to take it.”
You shake your head, every single muscle in your body shivering against him but not because of the cold – with anticipation. There it was, the moment you’ve dreamt about years upon years. You better not mess it up now; don’t mess up your chance at finally being able to move on.
“I could never play about something like that.” You exhale, coaxing his head up with your own hand before letting it rest against the soft cheek. “I’ve had feelings for you since high school but I’ve only realized how strong they are this past month.”
Jisung stares at you with stars in his eyes, almost like every word that left past your lips was enthralling him, putting him under a strong spell neither of you could fathom.
“I’ve never been in love with anyone so I have nothing to compare it to but, I’m pretty sure what I feel towards you is love. Raw and authentic from the bottom of my selfish heart.” You finish, never once breaking eye contact in the hopes that the sincerity behind your words will reach him ultimately. And it does, because his breath hitches in his heart-shaped throat and his hands move to bring you even closer, hugging you to his chest in a way he’s only done a handful of times which causes the both of you to melt against each other like two burning candles.
When you were together, you always seemed to burst into flames, burning everyone and everything around beside him. Because he was welcomed among those flames with open arms and a fireproof suit he never wanted to put on. He instead chose to burn alongside you, not scared of the pain or all the inevitable damage the fire caused.
Poetic, or stupid? Maybe both, but Jisung didn’t care in the slightest when it came to you.
He inhales deeply, never wanting to forget any detail of this moment, including your calming scent, and you can feel the movement of his chest against yours, can feel everything.
“You love me?” The question comes out quietly like he can barely believe it himself, his hold on you loosening just in case you wanted to step away. “Me?”
He emphasizes the word ‘me’ like you weren’t the only people in the room, disbelief being written all over his pretty face. Your heart is racing at miles per hour by this point but you push through the nerves, nodding without any hesitation.
“Who else but you, Jisung?” You don’t think he can be even more surprised than he already was but Jisung proves you wrong when he almost chokes on his own saliva, turning his head to the side in embarrassment. The tips of his ears are quickly turning red, the colour travelling all the way down to his neck, most likely kissing his covered collarbones too. It’s a very endearing side of him you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing before, adorable even, that settles the wild butterflies in your stomach enough to give you the chance to breathe.
Then, without a word, he lets go of you and takes several steps back and that’s when panic sets in.
“I’m sorry!” is the first thing you blurt out, visibly shaken up. “I didn’t mean to come on too strongly! I just needed to get this off my chest, you don’t even have to say anything, I understand – “
You don’t get the chance to finish your monologue because the next moment, Jisung surprises you by closing the distance and gently cupping your face to plant the sweetest kiss on your lips, one that makes your knees actually wobble. Your lips dance with each other slowly, in a passionate waltz worthy of a standing ovation, so sweet and innocent it makes your head spin and your hands move to grab at his sweatshirt for support.
You’re so taken aback by the gesture that it barely registers in your head when he pulls away, chasing after him with your eyes still closed and basking in the sweet afterglow of his kiss. Chuckles under his breath make them flutter open and you’re greeted by a faint smile, shy but the most genuine one he’s ever sported in your presence.
“I – “ You clear your throat, still a little dizzy but Jisung shakes his head and leans down to plant another kiss on your lips, soft and fleeting, succeeding in shutting you up for good.
Still in the middle of his room, the setting sun is now painting everything inside in the warmest yellow, the golden hour making Han Jisung look even more beautiful than usual. Breathtaking and oh so cuddly, one of your hands can’t help but move to push some of his smooth hair out of his face tenderly, warming up as he leans into the touch instantly.
All of the tension on his face is gone as he looks down at you with a smile, thumb caressing your cheekbone. “Did you think I was going to reject you?”
You hesitate for a moment before nodding, your hands dropping by your side as Jisung’s only response is a hearty laugh, feeling a bit embarrassed. Just because he didn’t reject you until now, that didn’t mean it wasn’t coming. For him, it might’ve been funny but you’ve kept all of those feelings locked away for so long, hiding them from everyone that disapproved that now you were almost afraid he was going to disapprove as well, not want them either.
“Sweetheart.” He whispers, pecking your forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world, the return of the pet name almost bringing tears to your eyes. “For all the years we’ve known each other, when have I ever been capable of saying no to you?”
The realization his words bring hits you out of nowhere, years of memories made with Jisung flashing before your eyes as your brain tries to sort through them all for such an instance. The search isn’t successful because like he said, that never happened. Jisung has never said no to you, no matter how silly, petty or downright stupid your requests were.
As you remember it all, and have countless epiphanies, the emotions overwhelm you so suddenly that you find yourself throwing your arms around his shoulder in seek of comfort, melting when he returns the embrace without a second thought. He’s so warm and so comfortable and you feel so safe – you can’t cry now!
Then, the unexpected happens. “I love you too, baby.”
Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets as his confession causes you to pull away so fast, but not far, to look at him, observe the look on his face to make sure he isn’t playing a stupid prank. Jisung…loves you back? What?! Never in a million years did you think he’d return your feelings, with such ease too. He didn’t leave your flowers out in the cold – he picked each and every one of them and kept them safe until you got the chance to meet in person.
He frowns at the disbelief on your face, and your distance, so he decides to take matters into his own hands and fix it all. Without a word, he leans down and connects your lips again, only this time, the kiss is not as soft and careful.
Jisung kisses you like he means it, like he wants to pour all of his love right into your mouth until you drown in it and finally believe its authenticity. It all becomes desperate pretty quickly as you’re flush against him, one hand cupping his face as the other tugs at the ends of his hair while his arms move everywhere on your body, restless. He’s gripping your hips, licking into your mouth and you can’t help but moan into the wet kiss, granting him all the access he could ever want.
His sounds join yours when your nails graze his undercut, moving upwards to tug at the bleached hair as he leaves your mouth to give some attention to your neck too. Kissing the side of your throat, he leaves a trail of your combined saliva along the expanse of it with every bruise he sucks on your neck, the slight pain almost euphoric. It’s hot – you feel overheated and strangely jealous as he basically makes out with your neck instead of you.
“You better put the necklace back on when I’m done…” He mumbles close to your ear, kissing your cheek before guiding you back to his lips with two fingers on your chin, sighing in pleasure at the contact.
Even though he’s basically tongue fucking you right now, the hesitation with which he moves is obvious as his hands don’t wander anywhere they weren’t allowed to, don’t grope or caress, nor move under your top or bra. It is a bit disappointing but you’re aware of the conversation that still needed to take place, so, you understand.
Jisung respects you too much to take things further before confessing properly.
“Put it on me yourself.” You murmur with a smile that only grows when you pull away the slightest bit and he whines, desperately bringing you back to continue kissing your already swollen lips.
Gripping at his sweatshirt, Jisung takes it off in one swift motion before going back to kissing, goosebumps visible on his toned arms. This continues on for a few moments more until he breaks the kiss for good, leaving you both breathless, chest heaving up and down as the string of saliva that connected your mouths falls apart.
He’s breathing heavily as he guides you both to the couch, the frantic rhythm of his heart resembling the beat of one of his many songs. Facing each other, Jisung pulls you closer by the waist until your legs are thrown over his thighs and you’re sharing the same breath again, not being able to function while you’re sitting so far away.
Clearing his throat, you draw shapes on his chest through the white t-shirt he’s wearing, equally as lovesick.
“I think a part of me has always loved you, even if it wasn’t romantic from the get-go.”
Your heart grows at the words, arms moving around his neck again as your heart joins him in making a new song. He’s massaging your thighs in the most innocent way, eyes darting all over the place while trying to calm down and finally convey his feelings properly. Jisung is a perfectionist, he has to do this right.
Even if he’s trying to have a serious conversation, he can’t stop himself from planting another kiss on your cheek, which causes you to smile brightly and return the gesture.
“We should really talk about it, about our feelings.” You nod and he smiles, the setting sun behind him creating a halo around his head. Which would normally be hilarious to you since Jisung is far from being an angel. He’s lucky he didn’t catch anything yet –
“About everything, really.” He continues on, breathing now even. “Yeah, baby? Let’s talk about those feelings of ours and see where we want to go from here.”
And you nod, relieved and happier than ever because finally, you can talk about it. Finally, you can let it all out without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
Finally, someone is willing to listen to you without judgment or disappointment. Without shaking their heads or lectures like you were a convicted criminal or something of the sort.
Finally, you can love Jisung openly, without having all the odds against you. And he…can love you back! Oh my god, Jisung loves you, too!
A list of some recs that I think you would enjoy during this spooky season~
one-shots
perilous desires — @iridescentxstars
getting made to work the night shift, you're assigned to the ward the dealt with the more... demented of the patients. the ones who are a danger to society. except for him - or so you think
weight of worth — @abiaswreck
You were hired as a live-in servant for one of the town’s founding leaders Lee Minho. The job fairly simple so you were told. Only being fed from on occasion till your family’s debt was paid.
matrilineal— @quokkacore
after receiving the news that your estranged grandmother has passed, leaving behind no will, you and your boyfriend offer to clean out your house so it’ll be ready to sell. but as you spend more and more time in the house, you realize just exactly what led your mother to never speak to her own mother ever again.
not a monster — @sunnytaes
Y/N and Hyunjin had been inseparable since birth, but Hyunjin’s father’s concern over his illness put an end to their friendship. What happens when they meet again, years after Y/N had presumed Hyunjin dead, only to find that he is no longer the same Hyunjin that she knew?
between the rinse and spin cycle — leviackermanscleaningbuddy
You're a vampire. He's a werewolf. You live in the same dorm, but that doesn't mean you have to interact right? Wrong. Cue every Friday and Saturday night in the basement laundry mat.
series
for reasons wretched and divine — @noramoons
You've heard stories about the Lykos clan for your entire life. You know the rules about dealing with demons - never look them in the eye, never trespass on a shrine without an offering, and never walk in their territory alone.
Sanguis Limerence — @jl-micasea-fics
You have a job to do. That job is simple, in of itself. Yet the elusive vampire family you find yourself entangled with, the target of your job, makes things anything but straightforward. Can you traverse the thin lines between right and wrong when harsh truths are exposed and realities come to light? Can you resist the allure of danger, the appeal of the unknown? Experience this story of unlikely friendships, lurking threat, and entirely unexpected love.
opposites attract — @sulfurcosmos
opposites attract—that’s what they say. one runs from attachment, knowing how easily he can find love; and how much easier it is for it to be snatched away. the other wears her heart on her sleeve, without ever being able to give it to anybody. a man who fears love, and a woman who doesn’t think love exists. a supernatural being, and a human. two students stuck in the same apartment, bound by a string of coincidences, not knowing their lives are about to change. opposites attract, that’s what they all say. but how far can attraction last before they are forced to break away?
pluto — @seospicybin
Knowing that your life will end soon, you choose to have your desired death by making a pact with the devil with a red hair, Hyunjin.
young god — @maatryoshkaa
when your best friend Felix sets you up on a blind date with adorable medical student Han Jisung, you find yourself falling for his sweet words and dark eyes, and the even darker secrets he hides behind his charming, angelic smile.
indulgence — @the7thcrow
an indulgence grows to become dangerous, as the society of hampden college takes note of y/n’s new blood bag.
skz pack universe — @leviackermanscleaningbuddy
wereroomies — @therhythmafterthesummer
smaus
AMORTENTIA — @lemon-boy-stan
Y/n's twitter life at hogwarts was simple. that was, of course, until her friends exposed her crush on the hufflepuff chaser, chris bang. genre: fluff, crack, harry potter social media au.
kianamaiart
vaporwave
dailybridgerton
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
