"The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction. The weight, the weight we carry is love." - Allen Ginsberg
Background: death mention tw
Devon Sinclair was never part of the plan. In fact one of the things that had cemented his parents relationship was their mutual understanding that they only ever wanted one child. But 12 years after the birth of Edward, Devon arrived under the shadow of slight resentment. His parents felt too busy to raise a newborn but did so anyway and a lot of the responsibility ended up on his brother Eddie who did his very best given the circumstances. What should have been Eddie’s adolescence turned into Devon’s childhood. It wasn’t all bad and the Sinclair’s had trusted neighbors and family who pitched in to help but there was no denying that Devon was not part of the plan.
And that was the chip on his shoulder that he grew up with. Always feeling like a burden, especially as he entered his teenage years and Eddie was already on his way to being married and having kids. Before he could drive he was an Uncle and to this day that is probably the only title he’s ever been proud or happy to have. But Devon had a hard time finding himself. His brother already had a family of his own in his own children and in the Sons of Silence. As a young child he was always by Eddie’s side, always curious as the men with motorcycles met and started to come together. But Devon struggled to dream of the same future. He had no interest in getting his hands dirty or being in charge of anything. He was more interested in playing his games and helping his family get a computer even though back then they were so big it felt like he needed to move his entire bed out of the room to fit it in. But tech was his interest. Books and writing, history that he could study. Eddie would tease him but ultimately encouraged him and Devon grew to be someone who sought his brother’s approval much more than his parents.
But his parents were his parents and they still projected hopes and dreams onto him. Hoped for him to be tougher like his brother, doing a job with meaning and practicality like their father. His father saw him as weak and his mother saw him more as a younger friend than anything else. He loved them both but didn’t feel as loved by them. So he sought that love elsewhere. In books, in school clubs, in the public library, anywhere he could where people would support his passions. So he was always out of the house, usually going wherever his best friend Nellie Decker was going and when he wasn’t with her he was pursuing something that would allow him to put his brain to work. And often he used this time to dream of a life outside of Tonopah Valley, somewhere beyond where he could be anyone. Where men on motorcycles wouldn’t see him and say “hey aren’t you Eddie’s brother?’ or the occasional mistake, “hey aren’t you eddie’s kid?”
So Devon made a promise to himself to get out as soon as he could. He tried not to resent Nellie for getting out before him but her leave made his own that much more pressing. So a month after high school graduation, Devon packed his bags and left Tonopah for good. He hadn’t expected to be sad but mostly felt the sadness when it came to leaving behind his nieces and nephew. His brother who despite their differences and despite how much Devon resented the Sons, he admired and loved.Eddie would always be his hero, even if they didn’t agree.
Life beyond Tonopah Valley wasn’t as immediately rewarding as he imagined but was extremely freeing. He went west first as an undergrad at Stanford University. He had a scholarship for tuition but worked multiple jobs to afford everything else. He learned what it was like to hustle for survival, to get his hands dirty in a different way. He would fix people’s computers, cleaned people’s toilets, washed dishes, whatever people would pay him for, he would do. And through this he learned the importance of being observant, something Eddie had tried to instill in him at an early age. And Eddie was the only person who he would really check in with until the kids started getting older and Eddie’s leadership took over. Devon still sent birthday cards and Christmas gifts and only made the mistake of going back to Tonopah for the first holiday break before he really never returned again until now.
Devon made it his purpose to always be busy. He found jobs to take up, people to apprentice for, friends who had family’s he could visit while pretending he didn’t have his own. He signed on to every free trip or offering he could, always eager, always open to exploration. In his junior year of college he got the privilege of studying abroad in Tokyo, Japan and that alone opened up his entire world. He not only wanted to just get away anymore, he wanted to see as much as possible. He built a life where he could simply experience and learn as much as possible. This led him down many paths but Devon primarily made his career by being a programmer and a generous thinker. He went from launching a startup with some Stanford friends to pursuing a PhD at Oxford to becoming a guest lecturer before he became a full blown professor. That journey eventually brought him to a comfy gig at MIT which became so comfy he started to look for excitement elsewhere.
And this was the moment of a second rebirth. Despite his consistent critique of the Sons, Devon saw the benefit of using his skills to help people in search of guarded information. It started as a little thing, helping people seeking information about their spouses affairs or their children's worrisome online behavior. But that eventually grew into more, helping people of great importance delete information or use information against other people. He wasn't a private investigator, just a gatherer of information. What happened beyond that was beyond him. If they were willing to pay, he was willing to do it. Until it got him in trouble and he found a particularly pissed off party after him, hoping to claim his life. So this second rebirth also came with increased physical preparation. Someone who had once been seen as frail and weak became someone who strived for the opposite. Gym days, personal trainers, rugby rec club, study of martial arts, joining a boxing club. He became as strong physically as he was mentally and his services expanded, to say the least.
Which is how he ended up in this moment. When he received an inquiry for a job in Tonopah Valley of all places, he thought it was a joke. But then the request came back around and he realized it was serious. Someone wanted help in gathering information about the townspeople in Tonopah Valley and Devon found it physically impossible for him to continue to say no. He had done work for The Enterprise before in the early years so he was familiar with Dante’s existence but Dev prided himself on having no loyalty. Which was the opposite of what his brother had taught him.
So he decided to say yes. And for the first time in over 20 years, he’s finally returning home. Weary of the work ahead of him, excited to see his nieces and nephews and having no idea that his brother is no longer alive.
Headcanons:
A very organized man despite the chaos of his mind. His apartment is super well organized (though right now really bare since he just moved) and he’s big on weekly cleaning.
Has made a good amount of money for himself, lives super comfortably, and though he isn’t flashy, he invests in the finer things for himself when he can.
Not on social media but has tons of burner accounts to help aid him in gathering information. Still a big fan of film and has tons of developed photos in boxes and albums in his home.
The main person he stayed in contact with over the years was Nellie, they wrote letters to each other and to this day she probably knows the most truth about him.
Can mostly be seen out in the early early hours of the morning. He loves a morning run, he’s big on physical upkeep as a means for protecting himself. He’s a meal planner kind of guy, big on his smoothies and tea before he has a coffee. But definitely prefers tea to coffee.
Will start to develop a lot of regret as he gets used to being home. He intended to not stay long but as he starts to learn more about what’s been going on and his brother's death, he’ll start to spend more time trying to discover the truth.
This includes being on the path of trying to redeem himself as Number One Uncle
Has never been married but was briefly engaged to a man he met in London (another bisexual king) and was with for almost five years before their relationship deteriorated.
