Infatuations @devoteddamsel - Tumblr Blog

black-white-and-leather

dollymeup

Periodic kink blog reminder that:

Real sexism is not sexy.

Real sexual harassment is not hot, it’s awful.

Real women don’t owe you anything for simply existing.

If you’re doing anything without consent, you are objectively wrong, vile, and a predator.

If you disagree with any of the above, unfollow me and seek professional help.

faggot-pussy

someone threatening to cum inside you unprotected is just as hot when its a strap. btw

flutterbvnny

i’m feeling super sensitive today can u watch me cry and get a little weird and handsy about it

marcolikestowatch

Kinoko Shibari

angel-in-your-basement

If you think asking for consent is unsexy, you are not only making safety much more difficult to achieve, you are missing out on some wildly hot concepts, such as:

- Making your flustered sub ask for what they want

- Making them ask for very clearly for what they want and then reminding them through their cries that this is what they asked for

- Asking if they need to stop so you can make them beg you not to stop

- Asking if they’re okay so you can turn it into pointing out how dumb and subby they’ve gotten

- Slowing down and telling them to show you how bad they want it

- Telling them if they want x, they better do a good job of y for you

And so many more!

mirrorsinner

noenergytomakeheartsrace

Them? Oh they're just my emotional support sadists🫶🏼

onelittlekingdom

Definition: Inspection

(NOUN) The objective analysis and appreciation of a submissive’s body by their Dominant, most often performed in the lead up to playtime. It usually incorporates the copious use of hands by the Dominant, and silence and stillness on the part of the submissive.

ally-rambles

Ways control shows up quietly:

You don’t remind me twice. You just wait, and I remember.

You notice when I make adjustments to align myself better with your will. Even when you never asked me to.

You pause before answering, like your attention is something I earn.

You tell me what you expect and then let me decide if I’ll meet it—knowing I will.

You say, “I trust you to handle this,” and I feel the weight of it like a command.

You ask, “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”—and of course you did.

You send a rule without explanation—just: “You’ll understand when it’s time.”

You say “mine” like it’s a fact, not a feeling.

You remember details I forgot I shared and use them like tools.

You never rush. Control doesn’t need to.

It’s not loud. It’s not cruel. It’s not even always deliberate.

But it’s there.

ally-rambles

The most dangerous thing you can do to me is treat my obedience like intimacy.

Don’t just command me—learn me.

Don’t just punish me—witness me.

Don’t just use me—cherish me while you do.

Because I don’t crave pain for the pain. I crave the moment your hand lands and I still feel safe.

I don’t crave control for its own sake. I crave the ache of giving it up to someone who understands the weight of it.

Take me apart gently. That’s how you’ll ruin me best.

yourgoodboybaby

Im about to be very autistic and very horny but I keep thinking about free use and parallel play. Like reading a book on my stomach while you're playing video games and you're resting the controller over my ass. Losing a round and deciding to slip your fingers under the hem of my shorts. Listening to my breath hitch as I turn to the next page while fingers dip into my cunt. Eventually fucking your cock into me and holding it there to keep warm while you keep playing some more. Letting me flip over and hold you in my mouth when you're done using me so i still have something to play with while you finish another level. Just very autistic playing and fucking

goopgloop

#No like I need this actually please

roughribo

I feel like people completely miss that so-called "submissive training" is also training for the dom.

Like, your rule about how you should be addressed feels undermined if you overdo it with a punishment, instead of a casual verbal reminder.

Your rule about how much water to drink doesn't feel like care when you don't call out when they need to drink more.

Your rule about bedtime is meaningless if the bedtime itself isn't consistent.

Training for the sub is to learn how to perform an expectation for a dom, and the flipside for the dom, is learning how to perform authority and understanding what kind of authority your sub will respond to in which situations. Being an authority figure is less like being the boss and more like being a gardener.

Rules that you train your submissive to follow are not something that you 'set and forget;' no, rules are like gardenbeds. You must actively care for and tend to the rules that you and your sub plant. Weed out the rotten rules that don't work or tweak a rule that's struggling so that it can thrive. Have a healthy soil for your rules to take root and grow and blossom. You don't "just know" how to be a good gardener. If you don't tend to them, rules wilt. Like with anything else, you have to learn and practice authority.

You don't have to be domineering when you practice authority either. In fact, I'd say that most rule enforcement feels warm and cozy when you're doing it right, but that can be subjective depending on your D/s dynamic. You have to show that you care both about your sub and about your garden of rules and that you are the authority that they specifically crave to be cultivated by.

So, what kind of garden have you planted? What parts of your garden need weeded? What rules grow and thrive easily there? How are you going to cultivate your authority?

Our garden has a clematis (rule for what title to use for me), but we needed to put up a lattice for it to climb in order to give it the structure (a public-friendly title) it needed to thrive year-round. That rule doesn't need much tending to in our garden, just a good structure and healthy foundation and it can be easily maintained.