Im A Mess

Just be whoever you need to be to be okay.

[neckkiss]

“I am tired,” she says, “and it is so awfully difficult to feel sad and tired when all you want is to feel alive.”

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #84 (via blossomfully)

[dezzybearr]

When I start to flail, and the world starts spinning at uncontrollble speeds... I get lost. I try to keep my balance, but I’m stumbling in every direction. I start to unkowningly distance myself from the ones I love the most, because I’m afraid to be a disappointment. When I start noticing the changes in how people react to me, or how I see that I’m letting them down. I pull away. I can’t handle the look on people’s faces when I fall short of their expectations. The guilt eats me away inside to the point that I’d rather lose someone entirely than watch me break their hearts over and over.

[dezzybearr]

Let’s get gym memberships lolol jk you guys just do this ish on your own it’s all g I didn’t wanna be included or anything it’s fine. Dunno why I even suggested it.

[hplyrikz]

“There’s no need to wait for the bad things and bullshit to be over. Change now. Love now. Live now. Don’t wait for people to give you permission to live, because they won’t.”

— Kris Carr (via hplyrikz)

[hplyrikz]

Clear your mind here

[dezzybearr]

Shit this hit a home runner

[untamedunwanted]

You smell like such joy and warmth that a glimpse of you has the sun turning green with jealousy.

Nikita Gill

[poems-and-word]

[kushandwizdom]

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

[d3ssins]

[hplyrikz]

Clear your mind here

[heartbreakhur]

[dezzybearr]

Always

[dezzybearr]

? Where are the actions that match the words? Have I missed them or have you completely given up? Have you ever even tried? I’m really not even sure what to believe anymore. Did you ever love me or was I just the easy girl in the corner who was the first one to believe every lie that you whispered in my ear with the venom dripping from your teeth, finding its way into my bloodstream from my ears , rushing over me with a wave of endorphins. Because thats how I feel. I feel as though Ive been sitting amongst a basket of venomous snakes, in an oblivious trance.. expecting not to get bit.. but my flute isn’t actually making noise.. and I’m sitting there like a moron with a snake who is staring at me waiting to make his move... until... everything goes dark... and once again the venom feels like heroin in my veins.. filling me with warmth and my serotonin levels spike; before you know it.. I’m dead on the ground, cold as ice, eyes glazed over. I am no charmer.. I’m just an idiot with a broken flute who thought she could play with snakes...

[hplyrikz]

I can relate to this

[hplyrikz]

Clear your mind here

[kushandwizdom]

“I hope you find someone who keeps asking you to talk about the things that you love, because that’s when you’re the prettiest.”

— nomoreus_

[meanwhilepoetry]

“I have always loved you more than I have ever loved myself and therein lies my greatest tragedy.”

— Nikita Gill, I Should Have Learned How To Love Me More 

[untamedunwanted]

[dezzybearr]

An angry text I’m glad I never sent

You know, It was really funny how you happened to text me on a really bad weekend , where I really needed you to be around, and I was fighting with myself to message you or not. That was exciting, but I’m done trying to fight for you to see me. To be around, even just by messaging me back. You’re obviously blinded by a million other things. When you called me and cried saying you’ve lost everyone... you still had me and you still couldn’t see it.

I miss you everyday. I just wish I understood why after 8 years I still can’t get a fucking text back. I know how often you’re on your phone when you have one. Whatever.