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[dgwarfield]

Externalizing Blame to Cover Up Shame

Rita Plays the Blame GameIn my previous post, Rita was going to spend Christmas with her brother and sister-in-law until her emotions exploded at the preacher on their TV. Dennis and Gracie left to allow Rita some time to settle down so they could discuss things calmly without playing the blame game.While they were gone, Rita got an Uber back to the airport to fly back to New York City. But this small airport had no flights to New York City for several hours.Rita was so anxious she couldn’t sit still. She began pacing around the waiting area. The attendants became aware of her talking to herself as she paced. Her talking became louder and louder. The few passengers in the waiting area were getting nervous wondering what she was going to do and if she was a threat to them.She threw her phone and it nearly hit an older lady. An attendant ran to her to calm her down, but she got worse. Two attendants ushered her into a waiting area away from the other passengers. One of the attendants got her to sit down with the suggestion of calling her brother. Rita dialed Dennis.Dennis answered, “Rita, where are you? We expected to be able to talk to you when we got back. “Rita Begins Blaming“No, you didn’t. Don't blame me. You just wanted to preach to me. I tried that route, praying the prayer once and my life got worse. I lost my job and was almost on the street. It’s all your fault because you and Mom pressured me into saying that stupid prayer.”“Is your life better now?” Dennis asked.“Why?”“The pictures you are drawing. They’re evil,” he said.“Why were you looking at my art? You’re trying to get me fired again. I knew it. Coming down here was a mistake.”She started to swear and make angry gestures as she hung up the phone. Dennis tried to call her back, but she wouldn’t answer.She started texting him with all kinds of nasty, blaming texts.“Everything would have been fine if Gracie hadn't stepped between us, telling me to calm down and eat my breakfast, as if I were a kid she could boss around. Why are you taking her side? I'm your sister. She needs to get out of the way so we can be brother and sister again. Please,” she texted. “It's all Gracie's fault.”Externalization of BlameExternalization of blame is a form of emotional abuse. It is a manipulative tactic used to control others. For example, it is blaming another person for negative events or experiences instead of taking personal responsibility. People often externalize blame to protect their self-esteem or justify their actions when they experience shameUnfortunately, it often causes more problems long-term because the person continues to look for more reasons to blame the other person and minimize their responsibility or failure.Signs of externalizing blame: Continually thinking about and looking for things to blame the other person for. Refusing to take responsibility for something they themselves may have done to create the problem. Intentionally making the other person feel guilty or ashamed for expressing their wants and needs.Why Does This Matter?How do you react when you are blamed for something you did or didn't do? Do you become defensive and fight back with anger? Do you launch a counterattack? Or become reclusive and shut down?When a person is shamed it triggers feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, or feelings of powerlessness. This could happen in what is said or written, such as, on social media. It can also be teasing, bullying, ignoring, shunning, or mocking. No matter how we are blamed or shamed, it makes having a productive conversation to resolve the issue very difficult. It doesn't matter if the person did what they are being accused of or not because blaming and shaming create barriers that prohibit looking at the other side of the problem to get an accurate picture and process resolution.Can Blame/Shame Events Be Resolved?We live in a society that hangs on to grievances and wrongdoings. Previously, Rita blamed Dennis's and their Mom. Now, she says it's Gracie's fault.The world we live in today is full of bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. In the movies, the bad guys, like in “Breaking Bad,” are the ones who are celebrated and honored.Is it the same for Christians? As Christians are we to hold the grievances in our hearts like others do? What does the Bible say about resolving issues?What God's Word says:Matt 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” NIVAffect Of UnforgivenessDo we as Christians have the right to get our “pound of flesh”, to hang on to unforgiveness? Unforgiveness keeps you stuck in the past. How?It keeps the pain alive. The wounds never heal. You are constantly remembering what happened and how you felt, which creates more and more anger. The pain and bad feelings continue to increase. It’s like you become imprisoned in a cell of anger and unforgiveness.Unforgiveness produces bitterness.As you remember and recite in your mind the offenses, you collect more and more evidence against the other person, which turns into bitterness. You’ve heard it said that what you think is what you become. That is very true about unforgiveness. It begins to shape who you are and how you act. According to the Bible, bitterness is sin, an infection that infects the whole body.Ephesians 4:31 “Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil." CEBIsaiah 5:20 “Doom to those who call evil good and good evil, who present darkness as light and light as darkness, who make bitterness sweet and sweetness bitter.” CEBActs 8:23 “For I see that your bitterness has poisoned you and evil has you in chains.” CEBUnforgiveness gives Satan an open door into your life.Ephesians 4:26-27 “Be angry without sinning. Don’t let the sun set on your anger. Don’t provide an opportunity for the devil.” ESVThe enemy moves into a person’s life when bitterness and unforgiveness are present. It’s like you swing open the door and put a welcome mat out for the demons to come on in and make themselves at home.Unforgiveness blocks or hinders your relationship with God.Mark 11:25-26 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” NKJGod says, that if we don’t forgive and put away bitterness and anger, God will not forgive us. We will not be right with him.Rita In the AirportDennis turned his phone off. It was ringing continuously with one post after another.Rita was becoming more and more spun up. She began pacing back and forth, then rattling the door to get someone's attention.Finally, the door opened and an attendant walked in, “Rita, let's sit down so we can talk about this,” she said taking Rita's arm to guide her to a chair.Rita jerked her arm free. “Let me go. Don't touch me.”“Rita, please sit down so we can talk,” the attendant urged.“No. I don't want to talk. I want to go home. When can I get a flight to New York?”“It’s several hours yet.”The attendant sat down and very calmly motioned for Rita to sit next to her. Rita sat down. “I don't know what kind of problems you are having, but can I pray with you? God can help us find an answer to your problem.”Rita jumped up yelling, screaming, and swinging her fist in the air. “I'll never forgive them!”“If you don't forgive, God can't forgive you. Your anger, hatred, and bitterness will get worse and worse. It's not going to be good,” the attendant said.“I don't care. I'll never forgive them.”Rita stomped off and sat in a corner with her hands clenched in hard fists, muttering and pounding on the table.The attendant walked out and called security, who called paramedics to take Rita to a mental hospital.

[dgwarfield]

Do You Use ADHD Conflict to Make Yourself Feel Better?

Would 73% of Your Friends Think You Like Conflict?Have you ever been around a person who seems to talk continuously? Some talk because they’re excited or nervous or want to be part of a conversation or can’t handle silence. While others are experiencing emotional hyperarousal. A state where the intensity of one emotion dominates ones thoughts and actions.Excessive talking is a common symptom for kids and adults with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder), who often have trouble inhibiting and controlling their responses. They may blurt out whatever first comes to mind, whether appropriate or not, without thinking through how their words may be received.You may start a sentence, say five words then they hijack your sentence and finish it for you. You say, “That’s not what…” Hijacked again.Often, they finish the sentence with a comment about themselves or their opinion on the subject. If you disagree with their opinion, you are wrong, because most ADHDers think they are always right.If the ADHDer is prone to a negative self-image, they may assume you are going to say something derogatory about them that they don’t want to hear. Cutting off your sentences is one way to avoid hearing your words or opinions.If you persist in trying to be heard, you must raise your voice. The conversation then often escalates into ADHD conflict.Confrontation, where ADHD conflict is involved, is where things often go wrong because emotions are allowed to take control, over-driving responses to the situation, and making resolution even more difficult.Some ADHDers Medicate With ConflictConflict emerges when the ADHDer is convinced he/she is right about every subject that comes up.Many relationships, where at least one party has ADHD, have an abundance of arguments and conflict because the ADHDer provokes conflict, intentionally or unintentionally by habit, for a hit of adrenaline, which gives them a feeling of calm and focus. Either way, it can be very damaging to relationships.It’s Never Their FaultADHDers often end the argument with a smirk on their face that says, “I win” leaving the other person in total frustration or in tears. Whereas others end arguments with, “If you hadn’t said or done such and such, we wouldn’t have had a problem.”The ADHDer often gets an adrenaline rush while the other person gets total blame.Brad Mason in his article, ADHD CHILD, WHY IS IT NEVER THEIR FAULT, gives statement examples: “I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me. It was because so and so did such and such to me.”This doesn’t just occur in children. This ADHD conflict resolution protocol it often extends into adulthood.Mason states that conflict behavior isn’t always about denying blame or protecting their self-image. The cause is often poorly developed metacognition, which is the “ability to think about what they are thinking about” and the consequences of their actions.The ADHDer may have difficulty recognizing that they are distracted, or inaccurately reading the situation or behavior. They don’t seem to see that their words and behavior could be having a negative effect on others.People with metacognition problems often have difficulty in everyday problem-solving. They do not notice errors in their work or whether a job is totally finished or not.According to Mason, being married to a spouse with underdeveloped metacognition is like being “married to someone for whom it was never their fault, always yours, and apologies rarely get issued- mostly blame.”An article published in the Sept/Oct 2014 edition of the Scientific American Mind states that a person with metacognition issues, experiences difficulty in making accurate judgments about their own thoughts, such as, whether their words or behavior choices are even appropriate.Causes of ADHD ConflictIn general, many people with ADHD have problems in social situations. Some are very shy when communicating in public, while others become very exuberant, excited, and even overbearing. In either case, they experience difficulty engaging appropriately and perceiving, or understanding the feelings and emotions of others.ADHDers don’t always intentionally talk too much, or cut off others’ sentences. They may suffer lack of impulse control, misdirected focused attention, working memory problems, or metacognition issues, which are involuntary parts of ADHD.Dennis and GracieAfter being married for several months, Dennis and Gracie began having arguments almost every day. Gracie thought it would get better as they adjusted to married life, but it got worse.She’d had enough. Gracie escaped on a “women’s retreat,” or so she said. Actually, it was a personal getaway to the coastal mountains. a break from always being wrong or being corrected about everything.She rented a small cabin where she could get away and relax. After gathering firewood for the fireplace, she unpacked her backpack.The cabin was peaceful. She wondered what it would be like to live in the cabin permanently, no phone calls, no tweets, no text messages, nobody telling her she was wrong, nobody screaming at her. Could she do it?As she lay in bed, she thought about the conflicts they’d had recently. It always came down to something she said, a tone in her voice, an expression on her face... something. Later, he’d say “I was wrong” or, maybe, “I’m sorry”, but then he’d flip the blame and say, “But if you hadn’t done or said such and such...”As she began to pray, she felt God’s love and peace wrap around her. It was such an awesome feeling. She became lost in God’s presence.Her phone dinged.“I thought I turned you off,” she said looking at her phone.It wasn’t Dennis or her mother. A website she had been looking at popped up on her screen. It talked about how to deal with metacognition. She read the first few paragraphs of the blog and smiled, looking up.“Thank you, Father. You always give the right things at the right time.”How To Deal With Metacognition IssuesMetacognition is the ability to think about what you are thinking about and the consequences of your actions.There are words going through your mind continuously, some are good, others not so much. ADHDers and people with metacognition problems are usually more self-focused and hearing self-defeating babble. Here are some steps for change:1. Make a decision to renew your mind with God’s Word to manage your metacognition problem.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 NKJV2. Think Out LoudTalk through your thoughts out loud, to yourself, a friend or relative or even a pet. Verbalization helps you work through your thoughts and get rid of negativity.Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV3. Evaluate Your Thoughts - Ask Yourself QuestionsAsking self-reflective questions is key to metacognition. Take the time to be Introspective and honest with yourself about your thoughts. Don’t allow negative thoughts or judgements to remain in your mind. Instead, fill your mind with truth, with positive thoughts.Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Phil 4:8 NKJV4. Write Your ThoughtsWriting is very helpful in organizing and assessing your thoughts. Just like thinking out loud, writing can help you identify your thoughts, how you think and the changes you need to make to line-up with God’s Word. 5. Fix Your ThoughtsWhile writing, decide what you are going to think about. Some translate Phil 4:8 as “Fix Your Thoughts” on things that are true, noble, just, pure... You have a choice as to what you are going to focus on. Write the Bible verses that give you positive thoughts.Back to Dennis and GracieGracie took these steps back to Dennis. He agreed to start Mind Renewal.She began to tell him about the problems and her trip to the mountains. Dennis decided to take notes. He wrote all the time Gracie talked with only a few interruptions for clarification.As she finished talking, he sat for some time perusing his notes. He looked up with tears running down his face. He slowly got out of his seat, walked over to her, and gently put his arms around her.“I am so sorry. Will you please forgive me? I had no idea.”

[dgwarfield]

How To Understand And Disarm Explosive Emotions

Explosive Emotions, an ADHD Wild CardExplosive Emotions are a very challenging aspect of ADHD because Doctors have found dysregulated emotions difficult to test and diagnose because they occur so randomly.According to Attention Magazine, it has been determined that the memory loss that accompanies ADHD often enables stronger than normal emotional outbursts. It appears that brain networks that carry and transfer emotional information are limited insome ADHDers. Therefore, when ADHDers have explosive emotions, the intensity may use up all the processing space in their brain resulting in the inability to think of or process any other important, relevant information.They often completely ignore social etiquette and become obsessed with the indisputable “rightness" of their opinion and the absolute necessity of its acceptance as truth. As a result, their emotions are over the top, causing other people to be surprised by their intensity. In addition, they may even have trouble remembering the conflict incident accurately.Dennis, Gracie and RitaDennis’s sister, Rita, who was four years younger, had also been diagnosed with ADHD.Rita had decided to spend Christmas with Dennis and his wife, Gracie. They were very excited about the opportunity to spend time with Rita. It had been several years since her last visit.Rita was an artist for a publishing house in New York City. Dennis hadn’t seen any of her work since their high school days. So, a few nights before her arrival, he sat down at the computer to see if he could find any of her art online.Nothing came up under her name, so he tried the publishing house. He paged through multiple book reviews on the website.Gracie came up behind him and touched his shoulder. He almost jumped out of his chair as he grabbed her hand.“Ouch, that hurt,” she said.Dennis turned toward her saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”“What’s wrong?” she asked. “You’re as white as a ghost and you’re shaking.”She sat down in the chair beside him.“Look at this,” he said, turning the computer screen so she could see it.“What is that?” Gracie asked. “That’s scary.”“That’s my sister’s artwork,” he said. “She’s illustrating horror and satanic stories.”Gracie paused, looking intently at the screen as she paged through different book summaries.“This is going to be an interesting Christmas, to say the least.”Rita’s ArrivalRita flew in on a midnight flight from New York City, three days before Christmas. Dennis met her at the gate. He noticed she didn’t look happy.“Are you okay?” he asked as she walked up. He could see she had a weird T-shirt on. Without a word, she grabbed the edge of the shirt holding it out so he could read it. “I haven’t had any sleep or any meds and you’ll just have to deal with it!!!”Dennis didn’t know what to do or say. They walked to the baggage department in total silence.During the hour’s drive to the house, Dennis recalled some of the events from their childhood while Rita feigned sleep in the passenger seat.Dennis’s Old MemoriesHe remembered when Rita finished 8th grade. The class had an outing to a local amusement park. The students and their parents were warned that if anyone did not get on the bus to come home they would be eliminated from the graduation activities.Guess who wasn’t on the bus? You’re right, Rita. When Dennis and his mom arrived at the school to pick her up she wasn’t there.His mom was afraid they’d have to call the police and Rita would end up in Juvenile Detention. As they got on the highway, they prayed they would find her.When they got to the amusement park, she was sitting in the back of a pickup full of teenagers just ready to take off. Dennis jumped out and yelled her name. She got down out of the truck and into the car.There was total silence all the way home. That night when everyone was asleep, she climbed out of her bedroom window and walked the streets as self-punishment for her actions or so she said.A few months later she went for a joy ride with the same group for a full weekend. Her mom knew she had to do something drastic or Rita would end up in the juvenile court system.When Rita got home her bags were packed and she was taken to her grandparents and then to Mom’s cousin. Her mom wanted her to have a chance at a good life, not the one she was unknowingly creating for herself.Christmas BeginsGracie went out to the car to greet them, Rita didn’t say anything, she just pulled out her shirt like she did with Dennis.Gracie and Dennis looked at each other shrugging their shoulders. They didn’t know what to expect.The next morning was Sunday. They usually went to church, but this morning they decided to watch online and let Rita sleep.The pastor was about halfway through his sermon when Rita came charging out of the bedroom madder than a wet hen.The table had been set for her breakfast. She went to the table and sat down. In a few minutes, she jumped up from the table pointing at the TV and screaming at the top of her lungs that “White Supremacist B…S…”Dennis impulsively jumped up, stepping toward her with his finger pointed in her direction shouting “No, that’s the truth.”Rita grabbed a knife off the table and started toward Dennis. Her body was visibly shaking in rage.Gracie jumped up between them telling them both to calm down. She didn’t want to call the cops. With both of them being impulsive the situation could escalate to violence.“Rita, calm down,” Gracie said firmly numerous times. Each time Rita appeared to get angrier.“This IS calm,” Rita shouted, showing her hand that was shaking like a leaf.Things could only get worse leading to more conflict and possibly the need for police intervention, so Dennis and Gracie left the house, expecting to talk things over with Rita later when she had calmed down. But instead, Rita packed her bags, got an Uber back to the airport and flew home.Analysis of the Explosive EmotionsIn the story above, Rita’s mind was so filled with rage after overhearing what she thought was White Supremacist Ideology that she couldn’t process any other information, like the common courtesy of being a guest in someone else’s home.Given that she hadn’t slept for several days, a lack of sleep makes ADHD symptoms worse. She also seemed to be experiencing extreme sensitivity to disapproval or being told she was wrong. All in all, Rita was in a bad way.Dennis, who also had ADHD with explosive emotions, impulsively reacted when he heard Rita call the message his pastor was giving “White Supremacist BS.” He took a step toward Rita with a finger pointed in her direction saying, “That’s the truth. What he’s saying is the truth.” But then, with Gracie’s intervention, he was able to pull back his emotions. But Rita stepped toward him enraged. Why the difference?Slowing Down Runaway EmotionsOne of the strategies for controlling Explosive Emotions is to develop self-control and self-discipline by taking responsibility for your emotional reactions.Dennis’s pastor had suggested that studying God’s Word could help a person with ADHD or Dementia minimize their symptoms. So, Dennis began studying the Word following this protocol: Find a place where he could quiet his mind was essential to meditating on God’s Word and hearing God’s voice. He began writing out the scripture that he was studying. Reading the scriptures in different translations gave him a fuller meaning. He began praying, asking God to give him wisdom.“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5) NIV5. He wrote the spontaneous thoughts God gave him.6. He set up a regular study schedule to be in the Word consistently.ConclusionAfter regularly studying what God’s Word said about these symptoms Dennis started experiencing more self-control.For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7) NIVDennis had acted impulsively toward Rita, but pulled the intense emotions back much quicker than before and calmed himself down. Rita’s emotions flared for hours, as was her normal behavior pattern.

[dgwarfield]

Do You Use ADHD Conflict to Make Yourself Feel Better?

Would 73% of Your Friends Think You Like Conflict?Have you ever been around a person who seems to talk continuously? Some talk because they’re excited or nervous or want to be part of a conversation or can’t handle silence. While others are experiencing emotional hyperarousal. A state where the intensity of one emotion dominates ones thoughts and actions.Excessive talking is a common symptom for kids and adults with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder), who often have trouble inhibiting and controlling their responses. They may blurt out whatever first comes to mind, whether appropriate or not, without thinking through how their words may be received.You may start a sentence, say five words then they hijack your sentence and finish it for you. You say, “That’s not what…” Hijacked again.Often, they finish the sentence with a comment about themselves or their opinion on the subject. If you disagree with their opinion, you are wrong, because most ADHDers think they are always right.If the ADHDer is prone to a negative self-image, they may assume you are going to say something derogatory about them that they don’t want to hear. Cutting off your sentences is one way to avoid hearing your words or opinions.If you persist in trying to be heard, you must raise your voice. The conversation then often escalates into ADHD conflict.Confrontation, where ADHD conflict is involved, is where things often go wrong because emotions are allowed to take control, over-driving responses to the situation, and making resolution even more difficult.Some ADHDers Medicate With ConflictConflict emerges when the ADHDer is convinced he/she is right about every subject that comes up.Many relationships, where at least one party has ADHD, have an abundance of arguments and conflict because the ADHDer provokes conflict, intentionally or unintentionally by habit, for a hit of adrenaline, which gives them a feeling of calm and focus. Either way, it can be very damaging to relationships.It’s Never Their FaultADHDers often end the argument with a smirk on their face that says, “I win” leaving the other person in total frustration or in tears. Whereas others end arguments with, “If you hadn’t said or done such and such, we wouldn’t have had a problem.”The ADHDer often gets an adrenaline rush while the other person gets total blame.Brad Mason in his article, ADHD CHILD, WHY IS IT NEVER THEIR FAULT, gives statement examples: “I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me. It was because so and so did such and such to me.”This doesn’t just occur in children. This ADHD conflict resolution protocol it often extends into adulthood.Mason states that conflict behavior isn’t always about denying blame or protecting their self-image. The cause is often poorly developed metacognition, which is the “ability to think about what they are thinking about” and the consequences of their actions.The ADHDer may have difficulty recognizing that they are distracted, or inaccurately reading the situation or behavior. They don’t seem to see that their words and behavior could be having a negative effect on others.People with metacognition problems often have difficulty in everyday problem-solving. They do not notice errors in their work or whether a job is totally finished or not.According to Mason, being married to a spouse with underdeveloped metacognition is like being “married to someone for whom it was never their fault, always yours, and apologies rarely get issued- mostly blame.”An article published in the Sept/Oct 2014 edition of the Scientific American Mind states that a person with metacognition issues, experiences difficulty in making accurate judgments about their own thoughts, such as, whether their words or behavior choices are even appropriate.Causes of ADHD ConflictIn general, many people with ADHD have problems in social situations. Some are very shy when communicating in public, while others become very exuberant, excited, and even overbearing. In either case, they experience difficulty engaging appropriately and perceiving, or understanding the feelings and emotions of others.ADHDers don’t always intentionally talk too much, or cut off others’ sentences. They may suffer lack of impulse control, misdirected focused attention, working memory problems, or metacognition issues, which are involuntary parts of ADHD.Dennis and GracieAfter being married for several months, Dennis and Gracie began having arguments almost every day. Gracie thought it would get better as they adjusted to married life, but it got worse.She’d had enough. Gracie escaped on a “women’s retreat,” or so she said. Actually, it was a personal getaway to the coastal mountains. a break from always being wrong or being corrected about everything.She rented a small cabin where she could get away and relax. After gathering firewood for the fireplace, she unpacked her backpack.The cabin was peaceful. She wondered what it would be like to live in the cabin permanently, no phone calls, no tweets, no text messages, nobody telling her she was wrong, nobody screaming at her. Could she do it?As she lay in bed, she thought about the conflicts they’d had recently. It always came down to something she said, a tone in her voice, an expression on her face... something. Later, he’d say “I was wrong” or, maybe, “I’m sorry”, but then he’d flip the blame and say, “But if you hadn’t done or said such and such...”As she began to pray, she felt God’s love and peace wrap around her. It was such an awesome feeling. She became lost in God’s presence.Her phone dinged.“I thought I turned you off,” she said looking at her phone.It wasn’t Dennis or her mother. A website she had been looking at popped up on her screen. It talked about how to deal with metacognition. She read the first few paragraphs of the blog and smiled, looking up.“Thank you, Father. You always give the right things at the right time.”How To Deal With Metacognition IssuesMetacognition is the ability to think about what you are thinking about and the consequences of your actions.There are words going through your mind continuously, some are good, others not so much. ADHDers and people with metacognition problems are usually more self-focused and hearing self-defeating babble. Here are some steps for change:1. Make a decision to renew your mind with God’s Word to manage your metacognition problem.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 NKJV2. Think Out LoudTalk through your thoughts out loud, to yourself, a friend or relative or even a pet. Verbalization helps you work through your thoughts and get rid of negativity.Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV3. Evaluate Your Thoughts - Ask Yourself QuestionsAsking self-reflective questions is key to metacognition. Take the time to be Introspective and honest with yourself about your thoughts. Don’t allow negative thoughts or judgements to remain in your mind. Instead, fill your mind with truth, with positive thoughts.Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Phil 4:8 NKJV4. Write Your ThoughtsWriting is very helpful in organizing and assessing your thoughts. Just like thinking out loud, writing can help you identify your thoughts, how you think and the changes you need to make to line-up with God’s Word. 5. Fix Your ThoughtsWhile writing, decide what you are going to think about. Some translate Phil 4:8 as “Fix Your Thoughts” on things that are true, noble, just, pure... You have a choice as to what you are going to focus on. Write the Bible verses that give you positive thoughts.Back to Dennis and GracieGracie took these steps back to Dennis. He agreed to start Mind Renewal.She began to tell him about the problems and her trip to the mountains. Dennis decided to take notes. He wrote all the time Gracie talked with only a few interruptions for clarification.As she finished talking, he sat for some time perusing his notes. He looked up with tears running down his face. He slowly got out of his seat, walked over to her, and gently put his arms around her.“I am so sorry. Will you please forgive me? I had no idea.”

[dgwarfield]

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Best Online Guitar Lesson Free Beginning Guitar Lessons FREE will help you learn to play quickly without struggling with boring exercises or music theory. Music theory comes much later in your journey.Assisted by a "jam track" you will play your way through the entire lesson. The best part is that the first lesson in each music style is FREE. About TrueFire Start off your journey on a solid foundation. TrueFire evaluates your playing ability so you start at the right level. In the First Steps For Beginners lesson, you will learn the basics which will help you advance to the Next Level Guitar Lesson quickly without developing bad habits. You will learn essential chords, different rhythm patterns and picking techniques, plus scales and songs all designed to start you on the right path. The Next Steps For Beginners is often discounted also.The Guitar Quick Start lesson is specially designed for the guitarist who knows the basic skills, such as, several chords and strumming patterns plus is also able to play several songs and single-note lines.The Quick-Start For Beginners is available for all styles of guitar playing in the Learning Path. TrueFire, The Leader in Online Guitar Lessons, was founded in 1991. Over the years they have collaborated with 600+ top instructors and guitarists to produce what Guitar Player Magazine calls “the planet’s largest and most comprehensive selection of online guitar lessons.”To date over 2 million guitarists worldwide have learned to play guitar using TrueFire’s “interactive video courses and patented learning systems.” Their Proprietary technologies and patented methods have allowed instructors to provided one-on-one personalized lessons to group instructions world-wide. Join for FREE!! Learning Path Course System Are you ready to take your guitar playing skill to the next level? TrueFire's accelerated courses are specifically designed for all skill levels: beginner, intermediate, or advanced. The Learning Path System assesses your current skill level and constructs a personalized curriculum of video lessons taught by world-class guitarists and teachers to move you quickly to the next skill level. Best Online Guitar Lessons - Learning Path You get to choose the Best Online Guitar Lessons for you. You get to choose which style of music you want to learn. See the list below. In each style, the start with the basics, so if you have never played before you will start in the style of your choice. And the first lesson in each style is FREE. This gives you the time to see if your chosen style is the right fit for you. The price is right for the first lesson - FREE. Click the link to go to The Learning Path System or a link below to choose your style.Guitar Lesson PathsLesson Include In the Acoustic Learning Path you will learn the classic rhythm and chord progression that will help you be playing quickly. In the Jazz course, you will learn jazz chords, rhythms, and melodies. The second course will have you playing quickly. If you're into Blues you will love this course. It starts with a classic blues shuffle in the key of A, then progress to a 12-bar blues in the key of E. In the Country courses, you will learn more scales, rhythm variations, cool chords, and single not country melodies. In the Rock Path, you will start by learning the classic power chord, a traditional rock progression, and your first rock riff. Do you have essential Bass skills? Every guitarist needs to have bass skills. The Bass Learning Path will give you everything you need to play bass with a band. Intermediate and Advanced Lessons Larry Carlton is one of the World-Renowned guitarists and educators that teaches intermediate Lessons.In this series of lessons, Carlton explains the exact voicings, melodies, fingerings, and improvisational approaches to his hit songs: Room 335, Smiles & Smiles To Go, Alone But Never Alone, Hello Tomorrow, RCM, High Steppin’, Terry T, Kid Gloves and Red Hot Poker.If you are an intermediate or advanced guitarist, check out the lessons that are available. TrueFire's beginning courses maybe a little more difficult than some beginning lessons, but their intermediate and advanced courses are hard to beat. With 40,000+ video lessons, you will be able to find anything you are looking for.If you follow the Learning Paths, the intermediate and advanced guitarist can go straight to any of the lessons in the intermediate or advanced courses. TrueFire making sure you learn the guitar techniques so you will be able to become a professional guitarist if that is your dream. Best Online Guitar Lessons Sample TrueFire's guitar lessons are the Best Online Guitar Lessons because their Learning Path System assesses your skill level and will present you with a personalized, style-specific curriculum of video lessons designed specifically to help you advance quickly in your skill level.TrueFire learning method teaches you new concepts and techniques in bite-sized chunks so you are not overwhelmed. The lessons are demonstrated with video while playing over jam tracks giving you a real-world musical context and feel. You’ll practice by playing along with the instructor. When you feel comfortable you can then work the jam track on your own.TrueFire’s progress tracking tool keeps your lessons organized and on track. In the app, you have video controls to further accelerate your learning. About TrueFire's Educators TrueFire attributes their success to the top quality of their artists and instructors. Many are GRAMMY award winners. Some are top session guitarists, while they are all world-renowned educators. Check out the list. I'm sure you will find some of your favorite guitarists on the list. View the list of educators. In The Jam - Practice Jam Tracks TrueFire’s “In The Jam” delivers jam tracks for you to practice with and you are in control of the mix. This unique experience puts you in the jam with the top artists in the recording. Each edition contains 10 multi-track video jams. You have the ability to mute, solo, and adjust the volumes. You will also receive lead sheet charts with chord changes. It also contains the artist’s commentary from you additional learning. Private Lessons Choose your instructor!!TrueFire has the Best Online Guitar Lessons because you have the option of taking private video lessons when needed.Are you ready to take your music to the next level? If so, private online lessons and consultations from one or more of the top instructors will help you achieve your goal. You can choose the educator who specializes in the style or instrument you want to master.After you choose your instructor you can set up an individual lesson or an ongoing lesson. With TrueFire’s patented learning tools, you will be able to communicate privately with your instructor.TrueFire’s private lessons are conducted via video messaging which allows you to overcome many of the problems with private lessons, such as, scheduling, time constraints, performance pressures, and connectivity problems.You

[dgwarfield]

Beginning Guitar Lessons FREE

Want to learn to play guitar, but not sure? Check this out!!Start your musical journey today with the Beginner Guitar Lessons FREE!! The first lesson for beginners is always FREE!!! It has been documented that many students struggle with learning to play an instrument because of bad information or from trying to learn on their own. End the struggle today with step-by-step lessons that make learning quicker and more enjoyable.Remember when you first began wanting to play guitar. You picked up your first guitar and ran your hands down the neck and across the smooth, cool body of the guitar. You turned the guitar overrunning your hands over the smooth back, then back to the fretboard. "I want to learn how to play guitar," you said over and over to yourself. Is that where you are today, still wanting to learn how to play? If so, you've come to the right place. Best Online Guitar Lesson Free Beginning Guitar Lessons FREE will help you learn to play quickly without struggling with boring exercises or music theory. Music theory comes much later in your journey.Assisted by a "jam track" you will play your way through the entire lesson. The best part is that the first lesson in each music style is FREE. About TrueFire Start off your journey on a solid foundation. TrueFire evaluates your playing ability so you start at the right level. In the First Steps For Beginners lesson, you will learn the basics which will help you advance to the Next Level Guitar Lesson quickly without developing bad habits. You will learn essential chords, different rhythm patterns and picking techniques, plus scales and songs all designed to start you on the right path. The Next Steps For Beginners is often discounted also.The Guitar Quick Start lesson is specially designed for the guitarist who knows the basic skills, such as, several chords and strumming patterns plus is also able to play several songs and single-note lines.The Quick-Start For Beginners is available for all styles of guitar playing in the Learning Path. TrueFire, The Leader in Online Guitar Lessons, was founded in 1991. Over the years they have collaborated with 600+ top instructors and guitarists to produce what Guitar Player Magazine calls “the planet’s largest and most comprehensive selection of online guitar lessons.”To date over 2 million guitarists worldwide have learned to play guitar using TrueFire’s “interactive video courses and patented learning systems.” Their Proprietary technologies and patented methods have allowed instructors to provided one-on-one personalized lessons to group instructions world-wide. Join for FREE!! Learning Path Course System Are you ready to take your guitar playing skill to the next level? TrueFire's accelerated courses are specifically designed for all skill levels: beginner, intermediate, or advanced. The Learning Path System assesses your current skill level and constructs a personalized curriculum of video lessons taught by world-class guitarists and teachers to move you quickly to the next skill level. Best Online Guitar Lessons - Learning Path You get to choose the Best Online Guitar Lessons for you. You get to choose which style of music you want to learn. See the list below. In each style, the start with the basics, so if you have never played before you will start in the style of your choice. And the first lesson in each style is FREE. This gives you the time to see if your chosen style is the right fit for you. The price is right for the first lesson - FREE. Click the link to go to The Learning Path System or a link below to choose your style.Guitar Lesson PathsLesson Include In the Acoustic Learning Path you will learn the classic rhythm and chord progression that will help you be playing quickly. In the Jazz course, you will learn jazz chords, rhythms, and melodies. The second course will have you playing quickly. If you're into Blues you will love this course. It starts with a classic blues shuffle in the key of A, then progress to a 12-bar blues in the key of E. In the Country courses, you will learn more scales, rhythm variations, cool chords, and single not country melodies. In the Rock Path, you will start by learning the classic power chord, a traditional rock progression, and your first rock riff. Do you have essential Bass skills? Every guitarist needs to have bass skills. The Bass Learning Path will give you everything you need to play bass with a band. Intermediate and Advanced Lessons Larry Carlton is one of the World-Renowned guitarists and educators that teaches intermediate Lessons.In this series of lessons, Carlton explains the exact voicings, melodies, fingerings, and improvisational approaches to his hit songs: Room 335, Smiles & Smiles To Go, Alone But Never Alone, Hello Tomorrow, RCM, High Steppin’, Terry T, Kid Gloves and Red Hot Poker.If you are an intermediate or advanced guitarist, check out the lessons that are available. TrueFire's beginning courses maybe a little more difficult than some beginning lessons, but their intermediate and advanced courses are hard to beat. With 40,000+ video lessons, you will be able to find anything you are looking for.If you follow the Learning Paths, the intermediate and advanced guitarist can go straight to any of the lessons in the intermediate or advanced courses. TrueFire making sure you learn the guitar techniques so you will be able to become a professional guitarist if that is your dream. Best Online Guitar Lessons Sample TrueFire's guitar lessons are the Best Online Guitar Lessons because their Learning Path System assesses your skill level and will present you with a personalized, style-specific curriculum of video lessons designed specifically to help you advance quickly in your skill level.TrueFire learning method teaches you new concepts and techniques in bite-sized chunks so you are not overwhelmed. The lessons are demonstrated with video while playing over jam tracks giving you a real-world musical context and feel. You’ll practice by playing along with the instructor. When you feel comfortable you can then work the jam track on your own.TrueFire’s progress tracking tool keeps your lessons organized and on track. In the app, you have video controls to further accelerate your learning. About TrueFire's Educators TrueFire attributes their success to the top quality of their artists and instructors. Many are GRAMMY award winners. Some are top session guitarists, while they are all world-renowned educators. Check out the list. I'm sure you will find some of your favorite guitarists on the list. View the list of educators. In The Jam - Practice Jam Tracks TrueFire’s “In The Jam” delivers jam tracks for you to practice with and you are in control of the mix. This unique experience puts you in the jam with the top artists in the recording. Each edition contains 10 multi-track video jams. You have the ability to mute, solo, and adjust the volumes. You will also receive lead sheet charts with chord changes. It also contains the artist’s commentary from you additional learning. Private Lessons Choose your instructor!!TrueFire has the Best Online Guitar Lessons because you have the option of taking private video lessons when needed.Are you ready to take your music to the next level? If so, private online lessons and consultations from one or more of the top instructors will help you achieve your goal. You can choose the educator who specializes in the style or instrument you want to master.After you choose your instructor you can set up an individual lesson or an ongoing lesson. With TrueFire’s patented learning tools, you will be able to communicate privately with your instructor.TrueFire’s private lessons are conducted via video messaging which allows you to overcome many of the problems with private lessons, such as, scheduling, time constraints, performance pressures, and connectivity problems.You

[dgwarfield]

Beginning Guitar Lessons FREE

Want to learn to play guitar, but not sure? Check this out!!Start your musical journey today with the Beginner Guitar Lessons FREE!! The first lesson for beginners is always FREE!!! It has been documented that many students struggle with learning to play an instrument because of bad information or from trying to learn on their own. End the struggle today with step-by-step lessons that make learning quicker and more enjoyable.Remember when you first began wanting to play guitar. You picked up your first guitar and ran your hands down the neck and across the smooth, cool body of the guitar. You turned the guitar overrunning your hands over the smooth back, then back to the fretboard. "I want to learn how to play guitar," you said over and over to yourself. Is that where you are today, still wanting to learn how to play? If so, you've come to the right place. Best Online Guitar Lesson Free Beginning Guitar Lessons FREE will help you learn to play quickly without struggling with boring exercises or music theory. Music theory comes much later in your journey.Assisted by a "jam track" you will play your way through the entire lesson. The best part is that the first lesson in each music style is FREE. About TrueFire Start off your journey on a solid foundation. TrueFire evaluates your playing ability so you start at the right level. In the First Steps For Beginners lesson, you will learn the basics which will help you advance to the Next Level Guitar Lesson quickly without developing bad habits. You will learn essential chords, different rhythm patterns and picking techniques, plus scales and songs all designed to start you on the right path. The Next Steps For Beginners is often discounted also.The Guitar Quick Start lesson is specially designed for the guitarist who knows the basic skills, such as, several chords and strumming patterns plus is also able to play several songs and single-note lines.The Quick-Start For Beginners is available for all styles of guitar playing in the Learning Path. TrueFire, The Leader in Online Guitar Lessons, was founded in 1991. Over the years they have collaborated with 600+ top instructors and guitarists to produce what Guitar Player Magazine calls “the planet’s largest and most comprehensive selection of online guitar lessons.”To date over 2 million guitarists worldwide have learned to play guitar using TrueFire’s “interactive video courses and patented learning systems.” Their Proprietary technologies and patented methods have allowed instructors to provided one-on-one personalized lessons to group instructions world-wide. Join for FREE!! Learning Path Course System Are you ready to take your guitar playing skill to the next level? TrueFire's accelerated courses are specifically designed for all skill levels: beginner, intermediate, or advanced. The Learning Path System assesses your current skill level and constructs a personalized curriculum of video lessons taught by world-class guitarists and teachers to move you quickly to the next skill level. Best Online Guitar Lessons - Learning Path You get to choose the Best Online Guitar Lessons for you. You get to choose which style of music you want to learn. See the list below. In each style, the start with the basics, so if you have never played before you will start in the style of your choice. And the first lesson in each style is FREE. This gives you the time to see if your chosen style is the right fit for you. The price is right for the first lesson - FREE. Click the link to go to The Learning Path System or a link below to choose your style.Guitar Lesson PathsLesson Include In the Acoustic Learning Path you will learn the classic rhythm and chord progression that will help you be playing quickly. In the Jazz course, you will learn jazz chords, rhythms, and melodies. The second course will have you playing quickly. If you're into Blues you will love this course. It starts with a classic blues shuffle in the key of A, then progress to a 12-bar blues in the key of E. In the Country courses, you will learn more scales, rhythm variations, cool chords, and single not country melodies. In the Rock Path, you will start by learning the classic power chord, a traditional rock progression, and your first rock riff. Do you have essential Bass skills? Every guitarist needs to have bass skills. The Bass Learning Path will give you everything you need to play bass with a band. Intermediate and Advanced Lessons Larry Carlton is one of the World-Renowned guitarists and educators that teaches intermediate Lessons.In this series of lessons, Carlton explains the exact voicings, melodies, fingerings, and improvisational approaches to his hit songs: Room 335, Smiles & Smiles To Go, Alone But Never Alone, Hello Tomorrow, RCM, High Steppin’, Terry T, Kid Gloves and Red Hot Poker.If you are an intermediate or advanced guitarist, check out the lessons that are available. TrueFire's beginning courses maybe a little more difficult than some beginning lessons, but their intermediate and advanced courses are hard to beat. With 40,000+ video lessons, you will be able to find anything you are looking for.If you follow the Learning Paths, the intermediate and advanced guitarist can go straight to any of the lessons in the intermediate or advanced courses. TrueFire making sure you learn the guitar techniques so you will be able to become a professional guitarist if that is your dream. Best Online Guitar Lessons Sample TrueFire's guitar lessons are the Best Online Guitar Lessons because their Learning Path System assesses your skill level and will present you with a personalized, style-specific curriculum of video lessons designed specifically to help you advance quickly in your skill level.TrueFire learning method teaches you new concepts and techniques in bite-sized chunks so you are not overwhelmed. The lessons are demonstrated with video while playing over jam tracks giving you a real-world musical context and feel. You’ll practice by playing along with the instructor. When you feel comfortable you can then work the jam track on your own.TrueFire’s progress tracking tool keeps your lessons organized and on track. In the app, you have video controls to further accelerate your learning. About TrueFire's Educators TrueFire attributes their success to the top quality of their artists and instructors. Many are GRAMMY award winners. Some are top session guitarists, while they are all world-renowned educators. Check out the list. I'm sure you will find some of your favorite guitarists on the list. View the list of educators. In The Jam - Practice Jam Tracks TrueFire’s “In The Jam” delivers jam tracks for you to practice with and you are in control of the mix. This unique experience puts you in the jam with the top artists in the recording. Each edition contains 10 multi-track video jams. You have the ability to mute, solo, and adjust the volumes. You will also receive lead sheet charts with chord changes. It also contains the artist’s commentary from you additional learning. Private Lessons Choose your instructor!!TrueFire has the Best Online Guitar Lessons because you have the option of taking private video lessons when needed.Are you ready to take your music to the next level? If so, private online lessons and consultations from one or more of the top instructors will help you achieve your goal. You can choose the educator who specializes in the style or instrument you want to master.After you choose your instructor you can set up an individual lesson or an ongoing lesson. With TrueFire’s patented learning tools, you will be able to communicate privately with your instructor.TrueFire’s private lessons are conducted via video messaging which allows you to overcome many of the problems with private lessons, such as, scheduling, time constraints, performance pressures, and connectivity problems.You

[dgwarfield]

Good Beginner Acoustic Guitar

See Big Baby Taylor Taylor Acoustic GuitarsThe Big Baby Taylor is a good beginner Acoustic Guitar. Taylor Guitars, one of the largest acoustic guitar manufacturers in the United States, is located in El Cajon, California. They specialize in acoustic guitars in a variety of different sizes, plus semi-hollow body electric guitars. Their lower priced guitars, the Baby Taylor and Big Baby Taylor acoustic guitars are both made just over the border near Tecate, Mexico.The Big Baby Taylor Guitar (BBT) is one of the top travel acoustic guitars on the market today. It is portable, playable, and affordable. It’s styled after the bigger dreadnoughts, though, size-wise, it’s between the Baby Taylor and the full-size dreadnoughts, making it perfect for travel, while producing more volume and bass response than other travel acoustic guitars. Because of the size and structure it is good for a beginner acoustic guitar/Body and Neck of the Acoustic GuitarsTaylor has a unique neck construction, a bolt-on neck, that was patented in 1999 called the NT (new technology) neck. It is different from other acoustic guitars in that the neck consists of one continuous piece of wood all the way to the 19th fret to support the fretboard.The body on the Big Baby Taylor is unique in that it has a 15/16th-size non-cutaway dreadnought shape, with a full 4” body depth and a scale length of 25.5”. Thus, you get a acoustic guitar that is smaller than a dreadnought but with similar projection and richness to the dreadnought sound.When playing the BBT, you can tell it’s smaller, but with the feel of a basic acoustic guitar. The tuners are also the same as a basic acoustic guitar with comparable action. The differences aren’t enough to trip you up.The construction of tonewoods gives the look and feel of quality that the Taylor is known for. The top is made from solid Sitka spruce with laminated sapele for the back and sides with a matte finish. It also includes a single ring rosette and tortoiseshell pickguard which enhance the refined look.The slim neck is constructed of solid sapele, with a genuine African ebony fretboard with 20 frets and simple dot inlays. HardwareA set of chrome die-cast tuners on the Taylor-branded head is a complement to the Big Baby Taylor. Just below the head is a Nubone nut which is similar in consistency to TUSQ. At the other end, the Micarta saddle sits on the African ebony bridge.SoundThe original Baby Taylor has the traditional small acoustic guitar sound, but the Big Baby Taylor, which is closer to a full-size body depth yields plenty of projection, resonance, and sustain.The sound is definitely not an SJ200 or one of the other dreadnoughts. It does not have the jumbo body sound, but surprisingly it has a fairly loud sound for the size. If you are looking for an acoustic guitar with a full sound but small enough to travel, the BBT is the acoustic guitar you are looking for.The intonation of many of the smaller guitars gets a bit quirky, but the intonation in the Big Baby Taylor is great. They have compensated for the intonation with the arched back, which gives strength and a fuller tone. The B string is also set back just a little to help with the intonation. The size and sound makes the BBT a very good beginning acoustic guitar, especially for older beginners.ConclusionThe Big Baby Taylor Acoustic Guitars are well suited as a travel acoustic guitar, but because of its larger size, is not limited to a travel guitar or for those with smaller hands. It is perfect for the older beginner. It has a bright, crisp sound with enough natural projection for strumming, flat-picking, or fingerpicking.It is shipped with a deluxe stylish Taylor gig bag that fits snuggly over the guitar for protection.FeaturesBody- Body type: Dreadnought 15/16th-Scale- Cutaway: No- Top wood: Solid Sitka Spruce- Back & sides: Layered Walnut- Bracing pattern: Taylor Standard Big Baby X-Bracing- Body finish: Satin Varnish- Orientation: Right-Handed- Neck shape: Taylor Standard Big Baby Profile- Nut width: 1 11/16" (42.8mm)- Fingerboard: Genuine West African Ebony- Neck wood: Hard Rock Maple- Scale length: 25-1/2"- Number of frets: 20- Neck finish: Satin Varnish- Pickup/preamp: ES-B- Brand: Taylor- Configuration: Under-Saddle Piezo- Preamp EQ: Volume and Tone- Feedback filter: No- Tuner: Yes- Headstock overlay: Copafera- Tuning machines: Chrome Big Baby Tuners and Buttons- Bridge: Genuine West African Ebony- Saddle & nut: Micarta Saddle and Nubone Nut- Number of strings: 6- Special features: Faux Tortoise Pickguard- Case: Taylor Deluxe Big Baby Gig Bag- Accessories: None- Country of origin: Mexico

[dgwarfield]

Practice Makes Progress; Not Perfect

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay If you’ve ever tried to learn how to play an instrument like the guitar or piano, you have experienced the frustration when you practice don’t seem to make any progress. We’ve all been there. You’re not alone.It doesn’t just apply to learning to play an instrument. It also applies to any skill you are trying to develop, like touch typing or learning a new language. I remember when I was learning how to type by touch. We had classes where we’d practice, just like practicing the guitar or any other instrument. Image by natureaddict from PixabayToday, kids learn their way around a keyboard before they hit junior high, but most of them use their index finger or thumb as they do on their phones. If you want to play a sport such as baseball or football or hockey, you know you have to practice. But, I digress. Learning any type of skill takes practice.You’ve heard the term, “Practice, practice, practice.” But interestingly, it’s not just about sitting down with the guitar in your lap or sitting at the piano/keyboard or even sitting at the computer keyboard. We often assume that if we "practice" enough we will become perfect.One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that you can “practice.” Or you can “practice smarter.” With the smarter practice, you won't necessarily become perfect, but with smarter practice, your practice makes progress toward your goal. Photo by Jakayla Toney on UnsplashTip #1 Don’t Give Up.Too many kids and adults set out to learn a new skill, like playing guitar, but when it gets tough, their fingers hurt from the strings, they aren’t able to play with a band in the first week or whatever so they lean their guitar in the corner and say, “I’ll practice tomorrow.” Unfortunately with many people, tomorrow never comes. The guitar sits in the corner collecting dust, being neglected.Tip #2 Take it Slow and Steady.Many kids that start playing guitar think they are going to be an overnight prodigy being picked up by their idol band. They have a guitar, an amp, and a gung-ho attitude. They envision themselves walking down the road with their guitar slung over one shoulder and a backpack over the their shoulder headed for Nashville, Los Angeles, or some other city where they will be discovered. The dream of being an instant success obscures the fact that it’s a skill that has to be learned.Instead of rushing through training as quickly as possible, slow down. Learn the basic fundamentals that will equip you to be that great guitarist that you’ve been dreaming about. Move from one lesson to the next, only when you have mastered the first one.I hear some groans arising from the audience. Wait!! Wait for it!! The lessons don’t have to be boring exercises that don’t seem to move you toward your dream. Keep reading. Learning to play the guitar can be fun.When I began to learn I taught myself from a book and by watching other guitarists on TV. Back then we did not have online video lessons. It was “teach” yourself or pay for lessons if you lived in an area where somebody taught guitar. Also, if I was lucky enough, I could learn something cool from a friend.Tip #3 Make A Plan and Stick To It Photo by Jess Bailey on UnsplashWith a plan, you can get the maximum benefit from the time and effort you put into your practice.Many beginning guitarists, especially ones who try to learn on their own, think that running through a couple of scales and playing a chord or two then jamming to a CD of their favorite band is practice. That is playing, it’s fun, but it doesn’t advance your skill level.True guitar practice or any other type of practice involves deliberate practice and isn’t necessarily fun. It takes work to master and improve guitar techniques or any other skill that you are trying to learn.It’s important to change your mindset of jamming and noodling around to practicing the lessons and exercises that will help you develop good guitar technique.Several of the online guitar classes have practice plans that you can develop for your maximum benefit. TrueFire’s Smart Practice is one of those lessons.You start by writing down your goals. They can be as simples as, “learn 5 new chords and a new scale by the end of the month”or “learn to play a new song each month.”Keep a journal so you know when you accomplished each goal.After six months or a year, you can look back and see the progress that you’ve made.As I stated above, I had to teach myself how to play. In 3 weeks I was able to play songs with 8 first position chords and 2 barre chords. After about a year some of my friends and I started a band to play in our high school talent contest. We played Tequila by the Champs. Being able to play in the talent contest was one of my goals and I accomplished it.Tip #4 Three Step Practice Makes ProgressStep 1: Warmups and Drills:Each time you start practicing warmup with exercises, scales, and simple chord progressions, things you know, nothing new. Work on playing these with good technique, properly and cleanly. Also, practice warm-up exercises and drills that work on muscle memory, such as:- Finger toughening (at first)- Hand and forearm strength.- Left hand, finger speed, precision, and flexibility (for swift, precise playing of scales, arpeggios, and sweeps).- Right hand, finger speed, precision (for swift, precise picking).Step 2: Learning New ThingsThis is where you focus on learning new things, such as new songs, new scales, some theory, new techniques. Something you couldn’t do before. This is the area where you will spend most of your time. Jeff Sheetz from TrueFire tells his students to spend most of the time practicing things they can’t play or are just learning or not polished yet.Step 3: Playing and Being CreativeThis is where you get to have fun, playing with jam tracks or playing along with a song from your favorite artist. You will learn to improvise and be creative. This is also where you learn to write songs if you’re so inclined. This is the FUN ZONE.It’s important to start your practice with Step 1 and Step 2. It’s very easy to start with Step 3 and never leave. In that case, you are having fun, but you aren’t advancing your skill and technique levels. Photo by Mahir Uysal on Unsplash Tip #5 Learn When To Call It A DayThis principle is important for anything you are doing. It’s very easy to start practicing one chord progression or strumming pattern for hours without making any progress. It seems like the more you work at it, the worse it sounds. It doesn’t matter if it’s learning to play a musical instrument, playing a sport, writing, working on a design project, it doesn’t matter. At some point, you get “brain dead.” When this happens it’s time to quit. Give your brain and your body a rest. Walk away for the day or night. Many times after walking away, you go back to it the next day and you can play it flawlessly. Sometimes your brain and your body just need a break. It needs some downtime.denaGwarfield.com

[dgwarfield]

All Music Things Features - Tommy Emmanuel

Tommy Emmanuel Tommy Emmanuel, an Australian guitarist known for his complex fingerstyle technique, energetic performances, and the use of percussive effects on the guitar, has achieved enough musical milestones to satisfy several lifetimes. He has now been playing professionally for almost 60 years. He started playing guitar at age 4 he was taught to accompany his mother while she played the lap guitar. By age of 6, he was touring Australia with his family band. By 30, he was a rock lead guitarist playing stadiums.At 44, he was one of five people named a Certified Guitar Player (CGP) by Chet Atkins, Tommy’s musical idol who influenced the development of his solo style, which Today, he plays sold-out solo shows from Nashville to Sydney to London. His solo guitar performance includes the sounds of a whole band: drums, bass, rhythm, lead guitar, and vocal melody simultaneously. While some artists take full bands on the road, Tommy builds his band entirely on his own with no overdubs or loops. In Tommy’s travels, he meets guitarists of all levels. Some have been playing guitar for a long time, while others are beginners. No matter your current level, Tommy’s fingerstyle series, Fingerstyle Milestone, and Fingerstyle Breakthroughs, will help you develop your Fingerstyle picking.In the Fingerstyle Milestone, you will learn skills to get the thumb going, as well as, develop the independence of your right hand. In the orientation section, Tommy discusses different guitars, where they are used, strings, and thumb picks. In the second section, you will begin to learn the different sounds, like the boomchick made with the thumb, the importance of the thumb angle, and where to put your thumb pick. In the third and fourth sections, you will learn how to combine all of the movements to create the desired sounds while applying them to familiar songs.Guitar students worldwide wonder if the “six-string-magic” Tommy creates with his guitar is even possible. Even the more advanced guitarists struggle to imitate his fretboard techniques and finesse. All the video lessons, tabs, and notation will only get you so far. But, Tommy Emmanuel’s new interactive video courses, Fingerstyle Milestones, and Fingerstyle Breakthrough, will help you achieve your dream of playing Fingerstyle Guitar.In Tommy's TrueFire Channel - Up Close & Personal, you will learn how to play his songs. He also shares some of his guitar tips and reveals how to solve the mysteries of playing guitar as he does.Tommy does a deep dive into the inspiration behind a lot of his wordless stories.He performs and teaches from The Best of Tommysongs, containing many of his best original works, plus many previously unreleased songs. Tommy solely wrote, produced, and recorded all of the tracks on this record.In Tommy's Up Close & Personal Channel, he teaches many fan-favorite songs, such as Halfway Home, Lewis & Clark, Endless Road, Cowboy’s Dream, Mombassa, It’s Never Too Late, and many other fan favorites. Plus, previously unreleased songs such as The Wide Ocean, Timberland, Sail On, and Song for a Rainy Morning. This learning experience is exclusively available only on his channel.In addition to “up close and personal” videos with Tommy covering technique, tips, and insights, subscribers will have access to Tommy's master library tabs covering dozens and dozens of Tommy’s songs.Tommy will also be posting new videos and lessons every month. Subscribe now and get Up Close & Personal with Tommy Emmanuel on TrueFire!Tommy now has a second subscription option that features all of the channel offerings, PLUS a monthly Zoom Workshop. Choose the subscription that's right for you!Click to watch and listen to clips of some of Tommy's courses below.

[dgwarfield]

All Music Things Features - Tommy Emmanuel

Tommy Emmanuel Tommy Emmanuel, an Australian guitarist known for his complex fingerstyle technique, energetic performances, and the use of percussive effects on the guitar, has achieved enough musical milestones to satisfy several lifetimes. He has now been playing professionally for almost 60 years. He started playing guitar at age 4 he was taught to accompany his mother while she played the lap guitar. By age of 6, he was touring Australia with his family band. By 30, he was a rock lead guitarist playing stadiums.At 44, he was one of five people named a Certified Guitar Player (CGP) by Chet Atkins, Tommy’s musical idol who influenced the development of his solo style, which Today, he plays sold-out solo shows from Nashville to Sydney to London. His solo guitar performance includes the sounds of a whole band: drums, bass, rhythm, lead guitar, and vocal melody simultaneously. While some artists take full bands on the road, Tommy builds his band entirely on his own with no overdubs or loops. In Tommy’s travels, he meets guitarists of all levels. Some have been playing guitar for a long time, while others are beginners. No matter your current level, Tommy’s fingerstyle series, Fingerstyle Milestone, and Fingerstyle Breakthroughs, will help you develop your Fingerstyle picking.In the Fingerstyle Milestone, you will learn skills to get the thumb going, as well as, develop the independence of your right hand. In the orientation section, Tommy discusses different guitars, where they are used, strings, and thumb picks. In the second section, you will begin to learn the different sounds, like the boomchick made with the thumb, the importance of the thumb angle, and where to put your thumb pick. In the third and fourth sections, you will learn how to combine all of the movements to create the desired sounds while applying them to familiar songs.Guitar students worldwide wonder if the “six-string-magic” Tommy creates with his guitar is even possible. Even the more advanced guitarists struggle to imitate his fretboard techniques and finesse. All the video lessons, tabs, and notation will only get you so far. But, Tommy Emmanuel’s new interactive video courses, Fingerstyle Milestones, and Fingerstyle Breakthrough, will help you achieve your dream of playing Fingerstyle Guitar.In Tommy's TrueFire Channel - Up Close & Personal, you will learn how to play his songs. He also shares some of his guitar tips and reveals how to solve the mysteries of playing guitar as he does.Tommy does a deep dive into the inspiration behind a lot of his wordless stories.He performs and teaches from The Best of Tommysongs, containing many of his best original works, plus many previously unreleased songs. Tommy solely wrote, produced, and recorded all of the tracks on this record.In Tommy's Up Close & Personal Channel, he teaches many fan-favorite songs, such as Halfway Home, Lewis & Clark, Endless Road, Cowboy’s Dream, Mombassa, It’s Never Too Late, and many other fan favorites. Plus, previously unreleased songs such as The Wide Ocean, Timberland, Sail On, and Song for a Rainy Morning. This learning experience is exclusively available only on his channel.In addition to “up close and personal” videos with Tommy covering technique, tips, and insights, subscribers will have access to Tommy's master library tabs covering dozens and dozens of Tommy’s songs.Tommy will also be posting new videos and lessons every month. Subscribe now and get Up Close & Personal with Tommy Emmanuel on TrueFire!Tommy now has a second subscription option that features all of the channel offerings, PLUS a monthly Zoom Workshop. Choose the subscription that's right for you!Click to watch and listen to clips of some of Tommy's courses below.

[dgwarfield]

Buying a Guitar For a Beginner - All Music Things

This guide will give you a list of some of the best beginner guitars and approx. prices for short-scale guitars specifically for smaller hands.

This guide will give you a list of some of the best beginner guitars and approx. prices for short-scale guitars specifically for smaller hands.

[dgwarfield]

So You're Looking for a Child's Guitar - All Music Things

The Loog’s design allows the guitar to grow with the child. As the child grows the Loog Guitar grows also. Amazing!! Check it out!!!

If you're looking for a guitar for a smaller child, check this out. You will be surprised.

[dgwarfield]

Your Future Can Be Told By The Words You Say

Have you heard the term “sour grapes”?

A person’s behavior, expression, or opinion can be termed “sour grapes” when the person is angry because they haven’t or aren’t getting what they want when they want it.

Matilda had often been referred to as sour grapes by her co-workers and especially by those under her in the accounting department.The department heads in the company were going to a conference in New York City. They all met at the airport about three hours before their flight for an impromptu meeting called by the CEO.

"Is everyone here?" asked the CEO."Of course not," someone yelled. "Sour grapes isn't here." You could hear hushed giggles in the background.Finish Story: denawarfield.medium.com

[dgwarfield]

You're Not Listening

You’re Not Listening

P.S. You’re Not Listening – I Heard Every Word

By Dena Warfield

  Have you ever had a similar conversation? You’re not listening, a phrase I’ve said many times over the course of our 20 year marriage.  I usually get, “I heard every word you said”, although, my husband would be paging through Facebook or the news pages on his phone.  When I asked him to repeat the words, he would often be able to…

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[dgwarfield]

What is Focused Solution Coaching?

What is Focused Solution Coaching?

Albert Einstein once said: “Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.”  Therefore, we need to look at solutions instead of looking at the problems. 

The task of solving problems is approached by seeking to move towards what is wanted instead of trying to move away from an unwanted problem. Instead of laboriously looking for the causes of our difficulties, we are…

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[holytemple]

Psalm 119:89 NIV

“Your Word, LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.”