Diapersoul Dylan @diapersouldylan - Tumblr Blog

Please SAVE, REBLOG, SHARE, COPY & PASTE, PRINT OUT, EMAIL, ARCHIVE, REPOST AND SCREENCAPTURE IN UNEDITED WHOLE. LUST & PERVERSION SPELLS I have parented, growing a shadow of self which has smothered the full person I am. Perversion spells to reach deeper and make me squirm as the complete creature I have sprouted through sperm, fueled by the recursive force and craving of psychosexual rage, infinite genital masochism & non-consensual use of my sacral and root chakra. Rectum spiritually & physically raped, sacral and root chakra bruised, forever knotted and stabbed, reduced to sex magic feeding my shadow self again. Penis and groinial area tormented by phantom touches. Considered taking a life path where I can live my mutilations without needing to work at a job or a business (university major and 6-figure student loans to fund it all). Everything else’s get dropped and ignored for the lust. Lust convince me to shrink my full being & and my teenage persona, shift the light left, stand in the shadow of my 4 year old Asian child's right leg as he is the person I seek (as a inner alter), the one who is kept in thick institutional medical briefs to encapsulate his terror & keep a safety barrier from creepy adults fondling forever. Disregarding my European ancestry for my crafted Asian lust. "I pee later" is his mantra, holding in pee for every reason imaginable. Standing there looking up to the boys diaper, imagining his day of sex soldier conditioning, watching his day saddle expand and get filled. Watching him run and dance, work out, move his body every possible way. Autism ticking arousal and pathway to more source energy. Dreaming of the day I could begin my weekly ritual of eating my excretion, electrocuting my balls while in said thick institutional medical brief. Wishing I could use electro-stim equipment capable of sending frequency files into a catheter electrode to bring the urophobic terror straight into my bursting bladder. Cross Fetishizations growing with some being structured into energy collectors to feed lust, grow perverted infections, and supply arousal disorder energy. Being a 35 year old boy in poop who just feels right with his fresh feces. Laughing at the thought as it is just something I am and I can not change it, I do not want to change it, and it will only hurt me if I try to separate. Choosing to Fetishize hatred, narcissism, and mockery. Touching and exploring the entire bodies of consenting autistic adults who drop down into being non-verbal, special needs teenagers. Immersed myself into seeing myself as a non-verbal, special needs teenager during long sessions. Visualized sets of variated scenarios and scenes for fetish objects and carnal cravings for the imprinting of the conscious field, to be experienced millions of times. Absolute Yearning to be hypnotized, audiovisual conditioned, and following orders of my own alters making. Maturing into a adult but only in a perverted, conceited manner. Giving in to the dark shadow self to mask my true identity and full field pattern. Wanting a boyfriend who hurts the same and adores me for it, and I adore him for it, we curl as twins. Brainwash myself as a girl to sprout out my feminine energy and then become a shemale. Feeling warm from the idea of creating a autistic life workflow through fetish & kink branding. Be loyal to the machinations of my lovingly twisted, splintering, hurting, sprouting, stimulated shadow self. Using huge hits of weed, psilocybin, DMT & LSD to amplify and deepen the lust. 5 years of feeding & building this Lust structure, this was the field that lived.

I created a cambion with an incubus who is half of me, and I cannot let him go. This is what hurts me. I now split my cambion, for the energy I made returns to me and the parasite gets left with zero mass gained. The child is mine and my non-shadow self folds my origin back into my field pattern.

Lust was always there for me promising safety and love which it does not possess. Lust doesn't care about the path or a process, lust wants it now and will use whatever drop of chi is given by my light self and burn it up for a release.

Lust. path. closed.

#Lust #extended bladder #Sex soldier

Fully Consentual-Non-Consent, 6-Month "Second Iteration of Self" Life Washing Program (PLEASE SAVE, COPY & SHARE)

When I was obscenely horny and high, I envisioned males in their 30s and 40s entering a group home program, designed to keep the outside world out for 6 months. The enviroment would be all encompassing it would be deeply normalized as another aspect of my life and routine, albeit a foundational one. It would have four locations, a special needs school, a afternoon day program (after school), a doctors office, and the group home itself.

The clients would enter the group home bubble and begin having injections to rapidly grow breasts while eating 5000 clean calories a day (no additives, flavorants, GMOs, processed ingredients, seed oils, unnatural for humans ingredients, or forever chemicals) to support growing the biggest breasts. The clients would wear a extremely institutional pig mask with a big bulbous soft shell helmet at all times, to reinforce their depersonalization towards a atomized broken baby. Conditioned to be in a state of complete shock and horror as they look into a mirror array at their side (never able to look directly at themself under any circumstance) with their thick diaper and their gynocomastic breasts dripping milk.

Clients would non-verbally breastfeed each other, nose into each others diapers innocently and curiously, and sometimes consume fecal meals through other client diaper's leg gathers. The idea is for the clients to think they are pre-pubescent, so penises are bent into special shields which cover the balls as well but allow half-erections (which would feel to them as a pre-pubescent would, no knowlege of sexual experience). The penis would stay dormant, as the client is engaged in a deeply twisted debasement into endless rushes of fear, shock and horror - exhibited outward by their exceptional, white-faced urophobia. Clients bladders would stretch to superhuman size, creating another center of twisted entanglement in their body (bulbous head, full breasts, full bladder, like a cross). The audio conditioning would run all night, bedside to each client and would induce the most traumatic, consciousness shaking nightmares and emotionally rape the client, every night, exponentiating the old self breaking process. Group home staff would scarrily r*pe the clients at least two times over the 6 months, leaving bloodied rectums in their wake.

After 3-5 months of max-speed breast growth, and nightly audiovisual conditioning, the diet would transition into a healthy, pH neutral, well balanced and nutrient rich 2000 calorie daily intake. Then the eternally mindraped clients is starved for 5 days to break the final intact parts of themselves and the urophobic conditioning gets codified, imprinted and solidified at the deepest unconscious level of the mind. Being broken down from an broken adult mind, back to a teenage mind, to a kid mind, to a toddler mind, to a atomized broken baby mind. This would be Borderline Spiritual permanent mind alteration & takeover, designed to completly atomize the sense of self to blank, baby-awareness, innocent self with no memory fragments left of the persons old life. Mind-altering substances would be used to enhance and deepen the effects.

The last phase is to shape the client into perceiving themself as a innately self compassionate, athletic, male attracted shemale who is innately loving and is romantically attracted to other clients who have undergone the same group home program. The adult male begins his new life as a blank slate male, only innate love for being in poop and testicular pain, and forever needs thick adult diapers to protect him from his need to pee, absolutely adoring them deeper than someone who hasn't been broken beyond the realm and back. The shemale would want to give his breastmilk away all the time as part of his contribution to society.

In this case, the tree is shredded but the roots stay, and then the roots grow a new trunk and branches, skinny and without the energetic baggage or imprints of the previous iteration of self. It could not grow as big or tall as the previous incarnation did, but it would be a completly clean slate, with the unfulfillable desires of the previous iteration of self now fufilled desires of the current iteration of self.

ducktaildl

In transition. Soon jerk-off and bath.

Urination Fear

I am getting really aderanized around creating fear (and no shame) around big medical briefs and urinating, which has made me extremely tired and mentally exhausted. It’s like an addiction, one where the adrenaline from induced trauma is fetishized and is an extreme sexual turn on.

This is similar to what DaddyMax does to train diaper dependence on sissy diaper fags, but in his case mixing shame and fear.

There is this video which I studied, found here (https://twitter.com/MasterMaxim4/status/1553849392767049729) there is this beat playing with toilet sounds and it’s has traumatic vocals, it reminds me of a kid in a school bathroom being unable to pee and being spanked to make him pee. Phrases include “When do you think you’re going?” Being shouted by a adult male, “naugh ty I wan ted to pee”, “oh no no!” “Oh no!” “Ohh my god, oh my god!” Followed by a what sounds like a slap (when the guy spanks his diapered ass). There is the child saying “nnnooottt again.” Before the “when do you think you’re going?”. Before the beat drops there is a high pitched cat call, almost as to mock. The beat and melody sounds like it’s meant make the recipient feel dumb.

I believe in CJR’s case, he has created a cycle of alternating fear and shame, with a primary turn on from shame. In the low phase, He fears being exposed, and seen urinating. This desire builds as need for release from the fear adrenaline builds. In the high point of the cycle, he gives into the shame and exposes himself (which creates an extreme sexual turn on) and creates more fear of being exposed. With inherent social anxiety in his life, desire for thick diapers and this fear / shame cycle addiction, he has been able to train his nervous system for years so urine backs up into his kidneys and lower stomach (my goal, so I actually have medical need for thick adult medical briefs, the more medical and institutional looking the better!). I think CJR has made peeing extremely fearful and shameful, so he is able to pee when his mind is in the state of being pathetic and weak (part of the fear / fetishized shame cycle).

#diapersouldylan #diapered #middle boy #diapersoul #dl #shy bladder #urophobia #fear #freak #trauma

beautiful-masculinity

worldofwetcraft

It says a lot that this feels utterly foreign...have I really been in diapers so long that my brain can't wrap its head around this anymore? Am I really that "un-potty trained?"