bambihees

think i need someone older.. - Isabel LaRosa

[siyalogue]

DRUNK-DAZED, PJS & PSH

• SYNOPSIS: Jay tells himself it doesn’t matter, that the lines beginning to blur between you and Sunghoon are none of his business. That the way Sunghoon looks at you, or the way you look back at him, shouldn’t concern him. Then why does something twist in his chest every time he thinks of the two of you together? And worse, when he looks at you, he doesn’t know what he wants more: to take your place beside Sunghoon or to steal your gaze for himself.

• PAIRING: Park Jongseong x afab!reader x Park Sunghoon

• WORD COUNT: 30k

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university settings, fwb!sunghoon, classmate!jay, sunghoon and jay are roommates, minor fight scene, reader gets stalked, reader smokes, not proofread, lmk if I missed anything.

• WARNING TAGS: MDNI, smut, switch!Jay, soft dom!sunghoon, sub!reader, choking, hair pulling, dry humping, shotgunning, oral (fem & male receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, multiple sex scenes, car sex, blind folded, hand cuffs, a bit manhandling, threesome, there's mxm action (don't read if you aren't comfortable, you have been warned), implied poly, don't like then don't read!

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: Reposting again because tumblr messed up the first time and did not show my post in the tags. I also learned about it a little too late! So I'am posting it again for research purpose lol.

The night is thick with stillness, the kind that settles into the skyscrapers, sinks in roads and curls into the alleyways, wrapping the city in a hush that it rarely wears in daytime.

Outside, the late night buzzed with life, the skyline shimmering like a gemstone in a rainbow hue, glass and steel catching the moonlight, windows flickering gold and white like untold confessions and secrets refusing to be whispered in your ears.

The moon is hung low, pale and full, casting a soft glow on Sunghoon's room like glitter spilled across the polished floor.

You sat straddling Sunghoon's lap like you belonged there, bare legs folded beside his thighs. The moonlight painted your skin in warm hues, the sofa attached to the huge window dipping beneath your weight. Your eyes were trained on the skyline that stretched into the horizon as both of you sat with your sides facing the window and you silently thanked Sunghoon for living in a high rise apartment.

A cigarette was tucked between your fingers, you brought it to your mouth to take a drag. The smoke curled upward as you exhaled it out, the only thing moving inside the room other than the steady rise and fall of Sunghoon's chest beneath your palm.

For a moment neither of you spoke, basking in the quiet that surrounded you. His hands adjusted their position on your waist, dipping a bit lower to pull you closer.

The cigarette burned lower between your fingers as you took a few more drags, tapping the excess ash on the ashtray kept on the window sill. You leaned your head on his shoulder, letting the silence stretch a little more longer.

Sunghoon didn't break the silence at first, just continued the steady and lazy rhythm of his fingers against your waist, half-lidded eyes trained on the skyline like he's watching some movie.

You took another drag, keeping the smoke in your mouth, you threw away the butt of the cigarette on the ashtray and exhaled it out. The smoke curled up, fogging the glass before vanishing in thin air.

“You're thinking too loud,” Sunghoon's voice cut through the room, low and hoarse, one hand sliding up to circle around your neck to make you face him. You hummed, hands gripping his shirt, a dazed look in your eyes. His hand tightened around your hips, a silent plea, “tell me.”

You sighed, now looking into his eyes, “I need to find a new place.” He tilted his head sideways, waiting for you to continue as his fingers rubbed circles on your hips, soothing you. “My landlord is selling his apartment,” you started, eyes darting towards the moon, “the new owners want to move in themselves, so I need to move out by the end of the month.”

Sunghoon nodded, both of his hands tightening around your waist to pull you closer as he buried his head at the crook of your neck.

“I know you handle things on your own but let me know if you need any help,” he mumbled and your arms reached to drape on his shoulders as he kissed your neck. He pulled away to look at you, one of his hands reaching up and stopping just below the swell of your breast.

You smirked, mind hazy as you leaned in close enough to brush your lips against his, “you can help me with other things,” pecking his lips once and grinding your hips against his, “like distracting me from my thoughts.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, pulling away. His grip tightened on your waist, feeling himself growing hard even after fucking you twice before, “fuck, aren't you sore?” Sunghoon moaned against your ears as you increased your pace, “aren't you hard?”

You leaned in to capture his lips in a slow and deep kiss, his hand sliding underneath your t-shirt, cupping your breast as another one kept you anchored against him as he started rolling his hips against your core.

“Hmm, need you so bad,” you whimpered as he trailed kisses down your throat. “Yeah?” He nipped at your sensitive spot and you arched into him, “lift yourself up, sweetheart.” You lift yourself up, the hand cupping your boob travelling down.

He pulled his pants down enough to spring his dick free, then pulled your panties aside, “sorry, I'm too impatient.” You chuckled at his words, which was soon replaced by a moan as he slid his dick through your folds to collect your wetness.

“Hoon,” you whined when he continued to move his dick through your folds, his tip constantly brushing against your clit, “want you inside.” He smiled at your words, angling his dick so he could push it inside. You threw your head back at the feeling of his dick slowly pushing inside you and he let out a groan against your throat.

“So good for me,” he bit the skin as he bottomed out, hand traveling down to rub your clit in small circles. Your body jolted at the stimulation, hands fumbling to grasp his shoulders, “shit, please move.”

You heard him click his tongue as he pulled away, increasing the pressure on your clit, “sweetheart, how about you ride me instead?” You nodded your head, stabilizing yourself though your legs were already trembling, eyes glassy as you held his shoulders more firmly.

You slowly start to move, lifting yourself high enough that only the tip of his dick is inside you then slamming back down, he groaned as you continued to repeat your actions. The steady rhythm of you moving up and down on his dick made your wetness pool around the base of his dick like a ring, the air inside the room filled with wet sounds of skin slapping against each other.

You let your head fall down on his shoulder as you felt yourself get tired. Sunghoon leaned against the armrest of the sofa for support and gripped your hips to hold you in the air as he started thrusting his dick up in your pussy at a sickening pace.

“Fuck, you feel so damn good around me baby, let me take the charge,” you could feel the knot in your stomach grow more tense as your orgasm approached, you screamed, biting his shoulders after getting overwhelmed by the brutal pace he set. “Hoon, I'm so close,” he nodded, “hold yourself still for me sweetheart,” he choked as one of his hands left your hips to rub your clit.

You closed your eyes, eyebrows creasing at the overwhelming sensation that ripped inside you. “Please please please,” you weren't really sure what you were begging for but he nodded anyway. “Ah, Sunghoon,” you arched your back into him, the climax hitting you more strongly as your body trembled against it.

“You're doing great sweetheart,” he kissed your cheek as he rode your orgasm, slowing his movements a bit as he pushed you to lay flat on the sofa, still buried deep inside you. He spread your legs wider, eyes trained on the way your juices spilling out from your pussy and dripped down his balls.

“Shit, you're so hot,” he mumbled slowly to himself before balancing his hand on either side of your face and pulling out of you just to slam right back in. You gasped, back arching off the sofa but he leaned back, holding your stomach to anchor you and started thrusting in and out of you.

Your eyes filled with tears, feeling overstimulated. Sunghoon looked at you, cooing at your fucked out state, “my sweetheart, I know you can handle one more.” You bit your lips as he continued to thrust into you, hard and deep, his pace never stuttering.

He dipped down to bury his head in your neck, his movements became sloppy and you knew he was close. You could feel your own orgasm approaching. “Shit, I'm cumming,” he groaned and you nodded your head, “me too.”

A few more thrust and he came deep inside you, body trembling against yours as he fell on top of you, “damn.” You chuckled, wrapping your arms around him as you rubbed his back to help him calm down. “Stay over,” he mumbled after sometime and you frowned, not being used to staying over at his place.

“Are you sure about that?” He pulled away enough to look at you, “I don't have energy to drop you home, and I'm not letting you go alone.” You nodded, shaking your head but agreeing nonetheless.

Your eyes fluttered open, arm reaching up to your phone to shut the alarm. You sighed, biting back a groan and sat up, rubbing your eyes to blink back the sleepiness. Sunghoon's arm was draped around your waist and when you tried to move, it only tightened around you, a whine leaving his lips. You removed his hand, took your clothes from his desk chair, and made your way inside his bathroom to get ready.

Sunghoon was still asleep, so you just opted to text him that you were heading out for university. You looked at yourself in the mirror, touching up your makeup to make sure you looked presentable enough and headed out of Sunghoon's room. Your eyes were trained on the phone to recheck your schedule one last time to make sure you weren't going to miss anything.

Your bare feet brushed against the cold floor, the apartment too quiet. You check your group chat in case there's any update as you round the corner into the living room. You kept your phone in your pocket, finally raising your head, when you stop.

The sunlight casted a warm glow on your bare hands and feet, and you turned your head slightly and finally noticed the floor-to-ceiling glass that stretched from one end of the room to the other.

Your feet led you towards the glass, and you looked down the city, the tiny cars threading through the streets below, buildings catching the morning light, the soft haze of the early morning covering the city, the room basked in it.

You stand there for a long second. Last night, the blinds were drawn and you were too much indulged in Sunghoon's kisses to even notice how beautiful the view was.

You snapped out of the trance when you heard the door click open, heartbeat quickening at the voice that suddenly disrupted the quiet that surrounded earlier in the apartment.

You turned around, holding your breath for a second as you heard a shuffle down the main entrance of the apartment. Jay stepped into your view, kicking off his shoes, his tank top sticking to him in patches, headphones draped around his neck. He didn't look up yet and your feet moved thoughtlessly.

When he finally looked up, he froze. For a moment, neither of you moved, like the time had stilled when he caught your sight, in his apartment. “You're here…” he said, more like wondered, when he looked at you up and down.

You nodded, calm, “morning.”

You stood there for a moment as his eyes flickered towards your slightly damp hair, your clothes, the way your hand tightened around your phone. “I was just heading out,” you answered before he could even ask you anything and his eyebrows furrowed, then slowly with caution, he asked, “you stayed over?”

You held his gaze, shifting your weight on the other leg, “yeah, Sunghoon was too tired to drop me home, he offered to stay since I had morning class today.” Jay's expression didn't change much, but you saw the way his jaw tensed, barely, but it was enough for you to notice.

You didn't blame him for reacting though since you knew Sunghoon doesn't do the staying over thing and neither does Jay. Even though you were also surprised when Sunghoon offered, but you could care less about their issues, it wasn't your battle to fight.

As far as you knew, Jay and Sunghoon had known each other for years, at least long enough to matter. They were inseparable in a way that made people talk, they were quiet, guarded and that intrigued others more. There were rumors around the campus, half-joked whispers about how they have to be secretly dating.

They were joined at the hip, constantly sharing looks that felt a little too intimate, too familiar, so it wasn't hard to imagine something deeper going on in between both of them.

And maybe that's the reason why you were stunned when Sunghoon approached you at a party, a little tipsy, but his eyes were steady and intense as he stopped beside you. He looked at you like he was trying to tell you something without words, there was a heat in his stare you had never seen before, an intensity you couldn't quite name.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't find Sunghoon attractive, it was impossible not to. You'd seen him walking around the campus, or more usually leaning against the wall, waiting outside your classroom, mainly for Jay. He rarely acknowledged or glanced at anyone else, and he surely never noticed you. At least not when Jay was around, and Jay was always around.

They looked good together, too good. Even the girls in your class would whisper about them, half in awe, half in envy. You remembered the way they used to lower their voices, exchanging glances like they were sharing a guilty secret whenever they spotted them together.

You wouldn't blame them, two of the hottest guys of the campus were involved with each other, you'd cry about missing your chance too. And you believed those rumors back then, and that's what made Sunghoon's attention on you feel so dangerous.

Naturally, when Sunghoon leaned in too close, you pushed him away, your hand pressing against his chest. His brows furrowed, not with anger, but with confusion, like he genuinely didn't understand why you were pushing him away.

Your voice came out quieter than you expected, “aren't you with Jay?” He blinked slower, mind too hazy, but he looked at you as if he expected you to ask that question. “Jay sleeps with other people too,” was what he said, like it explained everything. And maybe that was all it took, a pretty boy telling you that it didn't matter if you hooked up with him.

The room spun gently around you and you blamed the alcohol for whatever decisions you were about to make next. Your fingers curled around his shirt but he waited for you to take another step, and maybe that was your clue of stepping away. But something in you, maybe a part of you which was tired of feeling lonely, made you lean in instead.

It was a reckless decision, you knew that.

You told yourself it was a one time thing. A bad decision drowned in alcohol and loneliness, but then it happened again and again, until it became a routine. Jay never asked questions, and his silence was the loudest part of it all.

Jay didn't need to ask you anything further, because he knew, of course he did. It wasn't exactly a secret between you three that Sunghoon was hooking up with you, but this was new, you staying over. That wasn't the part of the pattern you and Sunghoon followed.

He cleared his throat, his voice tight, “you're heading out now?” You nodded, stepping closer to him, “yeah, I was, but then I saw this,” you gestured towards the view, “couldn't help myself.”

He let out a short breath of laughter, “hmm, Sunghoon keeps the blinds down, says it makes him feel exposed.” You smile at his words, looking at the view, “I know.”

He hummed in response, fingers curling into a tight fist in his pocket, you looked back at him, “but now that I've seen how beautiful it looks, I love it.” Silence stretched between the two of you, and Jay looked at you as if he's trying to understand you.

“You want coffee before you head out?” He asked, diverting the topic. “I want to,” you pouted, stepping closer and reaching out to remove a piece of leaf sticking on his shoulder. His breath hitched at the proximity, “but I don't want to be late, maybe next time handsome.”

His eyes narrowed, but he didn't make a move to get away. “I'll see you in class,” you smiled, the same sickeningly sweet smile you always wore “see you later.” And you were out the door before Jay could even open his mouth to say something.

Jay shook his head, a deep sigh leaving his lips as he made his way inside his room to take a shower. He stood below the shower, warm water cascading down his body like temptation, pooling around his feet like it doesn't want to leave. He groaned, rubbing his face as if doing so would keep the thoughts from invading his head.

He changed his clothes, moving towards the kitchen to prepare breakfast. He placed his bag on the counter, taking the ingredients from the cabinets when he heard quiet footsteps approaching the kitchen.

“I bumped into your girl while I came back from my run,” Jay stated, not even turning back to look at Sunghoon as he entered the kitchen. Sunghoon's steps flattered, “she's not my girl.” Jay scoffed, watching the tea boil, “you sure don't act like it.”

Jay turned to face Sunghoon, who leaned against the doorframe as he watched Jay, “you never let any girl stay over, you don't fuck the same girl over and over, you're making it too obvious.” Jay turned around, plating the breakfast. “It's not that serious, don't fret over it,” Sunghoon mumbled, stepping inside.

Jay clenched his jaw, biting back the words that were dying to spill out of his mouth, “if that's what you say.”

“Aren't you getting late for your morning class?” Sunghoon's voice chimed from behind him. Jay turned his head as Sunghoon opened the refrigerator to get some fruits. “I'm not,” he replied lazily before preparing two plates, one for Sunghoon and other for himself. Sunghoon frowned, clearly remembering about your text from morning, “don't you two share the same classes?” Jay just nodded, eating his breakfast.

“She likes leaving early to grab breakfast at the cafe near the campus before class,” Jay stated, like it's a common fact. Sunghoon paused and raised his eyebrows, “and you know that because?” Jay stopped, barely looking up before shrugging like it wasn't a big deal, “she mentioned it once.”

Sunghoon leaned back against the chair, eyes trained on Jay as he washed his plate, “she never told me.” Jay dried his hands, taking the bag he placed on the counter, slinging it on his shoulder as he made his way out of the kitchen, “she did, maybe you weren't listening.”

“Why aren't you in class yet?” You questioned Jake through the call, noting that he would be sitting by your side, yapping about his early morning shenanigans till this time. You heard him sniffle, “I'm sick, so I'm skipping the first half.” You groaned, already dreading to face the day without him, “take care of yourself.”

You opened your notebooks, tapping your pen on the desk as the professor entered the class and started preparing for his lecture. Jay walked in not long after, his leather boots clicking against the floor in the otherwise silent room. His eyes did a quick scan over the room, stopping midway when he noticed the only seat left was beside you.

“Mr. Park, take a seat quickly, I need to start the lecture,” Jay stiffened as the professor's voice echoed through the room, the tip of his ears turning red as he made his way towards your seat. You tilted your head, smiling at him as he took a seat beside you and opened his book. “Stage or not, you have quite a way of attracting attention to yourself,” you chuckled softly scribbling your notes.

Jay closed his eyes momentarily, before glancing towards you briefly, “you're right,” then back at the professor, “but you seem to steal the whole damn scene without even trying.” You glance at him sideways, your voice quiet but sure, “that's rich coming from the guy who only looks when he thinks no one's watching.” Jay sucked in a breath, before exhaling quietly, deciding not to entertain you further.

The rest of the classes went as usual, and you found yourself leaving the class, dialing Jake's number since he didn't show up to university at all. “Did you go to hospital?” You questioned as soon as Jake picked up the phone, “I did, Jungwon is taking care of me, but the doctor said I'll need to rest for a few days in order to fully recover.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair, “take care of yourself, I’ll drop by sometime.”

You hung up the call, scrolling through your phone to see any updates from the landlords you had previously talked with.

You sat on the university's staircase in a corner, searching various different sites to find an apartment but it was hard to find since the new semester just started. You huffed, burying your head in your hands and pulling your hair in defeat.

“Sweetheart,” you looked up to see Sunghoon standing in front of you, hands in his pocket. You sat straight, smoothing down the hair as he moved to sit beside you. “Careful, you know I'd do it better,” he smirked, nudging your shoulder with his, “what's gotten you so worked up?”

“There's no update from the previous owners I talked to, and I can't find any other option,” you sighed, standing up and looking at Sunghoon, “you up for a quick one?” Sunghoon looked at you for a while before he shrugged and nodded. Both of you made your way towards the back of the building where students hardly ever pay attention to.

“There's this one apartment,” you started, fishing your bag for your lighter and pack of cigarettes, “It's location is near the uni, rent is okay, and I'll even have a separate room.” Sunghoon nodded, taking your bag from your hand as you continued, “but there's only one bathroom, and the guy I'd have to share the apartment with is a bit creepy,” you pouted at Sunghoon, “I don't want to live with that guy.”

You lit the cigarette, leaning against the wall as Sunghoon sat on the abandoned bench, “this shit shouldn't have been this hard, I can't even ask Jake for help because he's sick.” You took a decent drag, letting the smoke settle inside you for a while before exhaling it out.

You passed it to Sunghoon, “you don't have to move in with any creep.” You gave him a look that told him you weren't thrilled with the idea either, “I agree, but I may need to move in temporarily with him.” Sunghoon blew out the smoke, looking towards you with a confused face, “why would you?”

“I had a talk with this one landlord earlier, he said one of his tenants is going to move out, but I need to wait for a while, possibly 3 months at least,” you took the cigarette from Sunghoon, leaning your head against the wall, “so for the meantime I'll have to crash somewhere.” You threw the butt on the ground, smashing it with your shoes, lighting up another one.

Sunghoon looked at you, but his mind was somewhere else, “what if that creepy guy tried something?” You blew the smoke out, pacing around as your mind drifted towards your interaction with him and you visibly shivered, “don't want to think that far, I don't really know him aside from that one interaction.”

You still remembered how he lingered near you, insisted on getting your number, touched you without your permission but you need to get through it. You'd lock yourself up inside your room for all you cared, just anything for time being.

Sunghoon sighed as he observed you, taking the cigarette from your hand and throwing it on the ground he cradled your face, leaning in to capture your lips with his. You grabbed his hands, stabilizing yourself, as you melted in his arms. He pulled you close, the bitter taste of smoke still lingering between your lips.

“I'll try to do something about this, give me some time,” he murmured against your lips before pulling away completely. You shook your head to get out of the daze, your heartbeat was slow but you felt everything else louder.

The nicotine made you feel loose but his kiss made you feel weightless. And as you looked at Sunghoon, it felt like you're stuck in the space between gravity and wanting, “what's that apartment's address and name of the guy anyway?”

Slipping off his shoes, Sunghoon made his way inside the apartment, grimacing as he looked at the open blinds but felt too tired to close them. He made his way towards his room when he noticed the lights of Jay's room were on, so he changed his mind and entered Jay's room instead.

Jay was sitting on his bed, playing his guitar, the soft tune relaxing Sunghoon a bit. Jay finally looked up, before placing his guitar to the side, “what's up?”

Sunghoon didn’t answer him right away, deciding to make himself comfortable on the chair near the desk instead, “I need to talk to you.” Jay looked at Sunghoon, straightening up after noticing the faraway look in his eyes, “about what?” Sunghoon looked at him, leaning against the chair, “she needs to urgently move out, her landlord's selling the apartment.”

A frown tugged at Jay's feature, “that fast?” Sunghoon sighed, fumbling with his rings, “she's been hunting for the apartment for a while, but the semester just started, you know how that gets.” Jay nodded in understanding, as Sunghoon continued, “the landlord is barely giving her the time, she told me about this place she checked out a few days back, and said the guy's name is Jongsu.”

Jay's expression froze just slightly, but his voice sharpened, “Jongsu from south exit?” He stood up, walking towards his desk, Sunghoon looked up, blinking a bit as he remembered you mentioning the same address, “yeah, that one, you know him?”

Jay nodded, eyebrows creasing, “she's not staying with him, he's the same guy who followed Jiyeon home from the party last year, the same guy who cornered Fei in the grocery store.” Sunghoon's mouth parted slightly, his voice quiet yet tense, “she told me the guy's a bit creepy, she didn't elaborate much.”

“You think she has time to sit and tell you everything when she's in the middle of being displaced?” A heavy silence settled between two of them as Jay continued to pace in front of Sunghoon, anxious and agitated before he stopped briefly to look at Sunghoon, “she can't stay there, not even for a single night.”

Sunghoon didn't argue but his voice dropped, “I wasn't planning on letting her do that.”

Jay turned around and sat beside Sunghoon, “what did you plan then?”

“She's staying here,” the room quieted down for a second. Jay knew Sunghoon wasn't asking. “Here?” Jay muttered nonetheless, “yeah, with us, for the time being.” Jay let out a long breath, his gaze falling on the ground beneath, “did you talk with her about this?”

Sunghoon shook his head, “no, and I know she won't even ask, but I'll do anything to make up her mind.” Jay looked at him for a minute, but later found himself nodding slowly, as if he's forcing himself to accept everything as quickly as possible.

“This will change things, Hoon.”

“I know,” Sunghoon didn't deny, “but I'm not letting her stay with that creep, especially when I can prevent it.” Jay watched as Sunghoon sighed heavily before turning towards him, their gaze heavy with something both of them never got the nerve to acknowledge. Something that always lingered between them, unresolved.

Jay swallowed, “you sure both of you are just fucking?” Sunghoon closed his eyes, “we just fuck, there's nothing official.” Jay's mouth twitched, something between a smile laced with something bitter. “You don't need to be official, and that's not the problem,” Sunghoon nodded, taking his bag off the floor and heading towards the door when Jay spoke again, “she's going to notice.”

Sunghoon stopped, hands brushing against the doorknob to pull it open, “she already does.”

You were sitting on your floor with your back against the couch, knees pulled to your chest. There's a tipsy flush to your cheeks as you scoff at Sunghoon's words, fingers toying with the condensation on your whiskey, “I'm not moving in with you.”

Sunghoon sat cross legged across from you, leaning against the coffee table which was now pushed back to accommodate both of you, “come one, even Jay thinks you moving with Jongsu it's a bad idea.” You blinked, resting your chin on your knees as you smirked at him, “I get the concern, but your boyfriend wouldn't like me there.”

Sunghoon's eyes narrowed, a flicker of amusement lit up behind his eyes, “Jay's not my boyfriend,” he picked up the bottle, swirling the remaining bit before drinking it. You laugh softly, leaning your head back against the couch, “whatever, but he's always so tense when I'm around, especially when it's you and me.”

Sunghoon didn't say anything for a beat, just watched you gulp down the remaining of your drink. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking away, jaw tight, like he's weighing the things inside his head, “he agreed with me though, I wouldn't have proposed the idea before talking it out with him.”

You sat up straight, eyes wide, “he doesn't mind me being there?” Sunghoon looked at you again, leaning a bit forward to give you a lingering kiss, “even he thinks it's unsafe for you to stay with Jongsu, even if it's temporary.” He pulled away, waiting for your response.

You opened your eyes, still feeling the weight of his lips against yours, “I wouldn't just be moving in your apartment, you know that right?” You mumbled, crawling towards him to straddle his lap, “I'll be stepping into your and Jay's space, and you know how Jay is.” Sunghoon's hands curled around you as he pressed kisses on your neck, “I know, but you don't have to stay with Jongsu just to keep things uncomplicated between us.”

You pull him away, cupping his face to connect your lips with his, he moaned, fingers tightening around your waist. “It's just temporary sweetheart, I am not asking you to stay long,” he mumbled as you pressed a kiss against his jaw, throwing his head back to give you space, “you can leave whenever you feel like, but move in, even if it will complicate things.”

You pull away slightly, looking into his eyes for any signs of uncertainty but when you found none, you slowly nodded your head. His hands slide under your shirt to pull it above your head, hands trailing up to cup the soft flesh of your breast before taking your nipple in his mouth.

Your back arched, the warmth of his mouth spreading heat all throughout your body. Your hips grinded against his and he bit your lips, licking it a bit before paying attention to your other boob with the same intensity. You continued grinding on his hips, and he occasionally bucked his hips up to increase the friction. You sighed, feeling dizzy at the feeling and when both of you came undone.

Sunghoon picked you up, helping you clean yourself and him, changing into different clothes as he slept beside you. His hand was draped across your waist, soft snores filling up your bedroom but you were wide awake, this was the second time Sunghoon slept beside you, and you weren't sure if you should be more worried about the fact that the lines were blurring between you both or how Jay would react to it.

You press your palm against your lower back, exhaling sharply as you straighten up. The room, their guestroom, though furnished, finally looked like it belonged to you a bit after unpacking your things. You left half of your things stored in their storeroom since you'd be moving out after sometime, so you only unpacked what was necessary.

“Hey,” you turned to see Jay poking his head inside your room, “you need any help?” You wiped the sweat formed on your forehead by the back of your hand, a sigh leaving your lips, “no, I'm done, thanks for helping with all those boxes though, means a lot.”

Jay nodded, opening the door fully, leaning against the doorframe after contemplating whether he should invite himself in or not. “Sunghoon's out, he'll probably be back late,” you nodded, sitting at the edge of your new bed, “I figured.”

Jay's eyes scanned the room before they landed back on you, “get a shower, I prepared dinner.” You smiled at the mention of dinner, “you didn't have to,” you stood up, feeling grateful. He shook his head, waving you off, stepping back, “I wanted to.”

You got out of the shower, deciding to just wear your tank top and shorts, you dried your hair and put on moisturizer and lip balm. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, feeling clean after bathing in dust all day. You made your way out of the room, walking towards the kitchen as the delicious smell of food surrounded the air.

“Wow, I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelled the food,” you chuckled, making way towards Jay to help him with serving. Jay stopped for a second as you stood beside him, the lingering scent of your body wash and shampoo invading his lungs. “Guess all the moving made you hungry, good thing I've prepared enough.”

The dinner was laced with awkward energy, you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you've moved in with Sunghoon and Jay, albeit for a short while. You were almost done with your food when your phone rang, an unknown number, you frowned but decided to pick it up anyway. Jay looked at you for a second, before continuing his dinner.

“Yes? Who's this?” You asked, not recognizing the person, then you heard a long exhale from the other side, “where are you?” Your eyebrows creased, but before you could speak the voice spoke again, “you aren't in your apartment, where did you go? Moved out already? But weren't you supposed to move in with me?”

“Excuse me?” You snapped and Jay gave you a questioning look, “do I know you?” You heard some shuffling from the other end, “I'm Yoon Jongsu, I thought you were supposed to move in with me today.” You felt your blood drain from your body, you didn't remember giving him your number, let alone the address of your older apartment.

“I moved in somewhere else, please refrain yourself from contacting me again,” you were about to hang up when he spoke, “why would you move anywhere else? I thought we had a perfect dynamic,” you sighed, massaging your head, “I never said I'd move in with you, I'll be hanging up now.” You hung up the phone, immediately blocking his number.

Jay observed you for a second before getting up to put the plates away, “who was it?” You sighed, leaning on the table, “Yoon Jongsu.” Jay turned around to give you a pointed look, “you gave that guy your phone number?” You made your way towards the sink to help him with washing the dishes, “no, why would I? I don't know how he got it, so I blocked him.” Jay nodded, and both of you fell into a rhythm, he scrubbed the dishes and you rinsed. It's quiet, except for the low hum of water and dishes clinking against the sink.

You glanced at him, his head slightly bowed, hair falling over his forehead, jaw tight with focus. There's a soft glow on his face due to the kitchen light. The water trickled, his hand passing the pan to you without meeting your eyes. His fingers brushed against yours for a moment, his shoulder stiffened at the contact, you stopped yourself from saying anything.

“Thank you for the dinner,” you said and he hummed, looking at you, “don't mention it from now on, you're one of us now.” You laughed softly, bidding him good night and closed the door behind you.

The apartment is quiet when you open your bedroom door, the blinds are pre-drawn, casting a soft glow across the living room. You got up early as usual, did your morning routine, but the sleep still clung into your skin. You lazily dragged your feet towards the kitchen, your movements are just as drowsy as you, checking the time on the clock you smiled, pouring the coffee into two mugs.

You just stepped out of the kitchen when you heard the faint squeak of running shoes against the floor of the entryway. You leaned against the wall, waiting for Jay to notice as you watched him. His damp shirt clung onto his body, a towel slung over his shoulder, that's when you finally stood up straight and Jay stopped mid-step, finally noticing you. “Do you always wake up this early?” He asked as his eyes fell upon your hands, “yes,” you smiled, offering him the cup of coffee you made for him.

His eyes fell upon your extended hand, then slowly reached out to take it, “for me?” You nodded while taking a sip from your coffee, and you watched him tentatively take a sip, frowning, “it's too bitter,” you laughed, and you didn't miss the way his eyes lingered on your lips. Motioning him to come inside the kitchen with you, he followed you, “sorry, that's how I like my coffee, here take some sugar.” He mixed the sugar with his coffee, finally sighing in contentment. You looked at the time again, you'd have to start getting ready.

You put away your cup after washing it, just as Jay finished drinking his. You made a turn to go to your room when you felt Jay grab your wrist, “where are you going?” You turned around, eyes falling upon the way his hand was wrapped around your wrist. “To get ready for university?” You meekly replied, finally looking up to him, “hmm, go get ready, I'll shower and prepare breakfast, eat here and then we'll go together.” With that he was out of the kitchen, not giving you a single chance to reply.

“Hello students, I need to make your favorite announcement,” Mrs. Im exclaimed, and you could see how much she was enjoying the students reaction as all of you groaned, the mischievous smile giving it away. She clapped her hands, leaning against the table, waiting for class to calm down. “So, I need you guys to write me a research paper, I'll forward the topics and send it to our official group,” she started and you could already feel your heart drop. You wished you shared this class with Jake so you could complain about the assignment.

“It's an individual assignment, I'll take mercy on you for that one, read about those topics, search like you're already knee-deep in your PhD, and submit the assignment like you're officially applying to have your research paper published.” You sink in your seat, already praying to get an easier topic when she continued, “you guys are university students, I am not expecting mediocre work from you.”

Although you admired Mrs. Im and knew she was a genuinely cool professor, it was common knowledge that she took academics seriously, and she had no patience for half-hearted work.

You made your way out of the class when you heard Mrs. Im call your name, turning, you made your way back towards her, “I'm expecting a good paper from you,” she mumbled, smiling at you, “I know how much effort you put into your work and each one of them have been nothing but phenomenal, so I'm hoping the same this time around.” She patted your back in an encouraging manner and made her way towards the staff room.

You stood there, watching her go, as much as you were confident in yourself, it was never easy, trying your best to reach people's expectations, especially of your professor.

You sighed, already thinking about visiting the library to get started with the assignment, when you felt a hand drape around your shoulder. You turned around, not expecting Sunghoon to interact with you right in front of your class, Jay stood beside him, hands in his pocket, leaning against the wall. “What were you looking at?” Sunghoon asked, and your eyes fell upon the way students from your class started to whisper.

“Mrs. Im,” Jay chimed in, “she's her favorite student, if no one knows anything, her favorite student probably does,” Jay smirked, and you rolled your eyes, “are you jealous that I know the subject better?” Jay raised an eyebrow, now standing straight as he hovered close to you, “I don't need to be, I'm not that behind you after all.” You smiled, not backing down, “still behind me.”

“Okay okay, stop.” Sunghoon snuck in the middle, easing the tension, “I need to go out with Heeseung, he needs me, I'll catch you both in the apartment.” He bid you goodbye, nodding his head at Jay and then running towards Heeseung who was waiting for him at the end of the hallway. “You go ahead,” you turned towards Jay, “I need to go to the library.” Jay nodded, looking at the way Mrs. Im went, “I've some doubt regarding my topic, I'll go and talk with Mrs. Im in the meantime.”

You searched through the books, taking the two books you thought would help you with your topic, and you made your way towards the librarian. After keeping the books inside your bag, you exit the library and turn a corner to get out of the university's building when a figure almost collided with you. Getting startled, you stepped back a little, hands over your chest, you looked up and your blood ran cold as you recognized the person, Yoon Jongsu.

“Seriously?” Jongsu leaned his head sideways, “did you really just blocked me?” You took a deep breath, head held up, though you gripped your bag tighter. “Yes,” you replied in a calm voice, “I told you not to contact me.” He huffed a breath, hands in his pockets, “and I didn't, at least not after you blocked me.” You gulped, irritation boiling up in your veins at his persistent behavior, “keep it that way, why would you come here?”

He looked over at you, not in a flirting way but like he was looking in a calculating way, like he was trying to piece something together, “to talk to you ofcourse, last time I couldn't do that since you blocked me.” You rolled your eyes, eyebrows creased in frustration, “we met once, I moved somewhere else, I don't think I owe you any explanation, I did talk with your landlord about it.”

He scoffed, leaning on the wall, casual. “why did you move in somewhere else? I offered my place to you.” He folded his arms, eyes holding genuine confusion as if he couldn't understand why you'd choose somewhere else over his place. “You did, and I said I'll think about it, then I found a place which suited me better, that should be the end of this.” He exhaled, straightening up to pace around in front of you, “where do you live now?” Your eyes narrowed, “that's none of your business.”

The flicker of tension behind his eyes sharpened, he stepped closer, “you don't have to be rude.” You stepped back, creating distance, “and you don't have to be so intrusive, I never gave you my old address or number, yet you somehow got it, I clearly asked you to not contact me again but here you are, crossing boundaries again.” He didn't seem much affected, instead he smiled as if your reaction amused him, “you make it seem so dramatic.”

“And you make it seem like I owe you my personal information, which I don't. Stay away from me Jongsu, this is the last time we speak.” You glared as you walked past him, eyes trained forward. You walked without turning back once, didn't let him see the way your shoulders tensed. But your heart was pounding inside, as your pace increased in a desperate attempt to create as much distance as possible.

You turned back once, to check if he was following you but you didn't see anyone. You sighed in relief, turning around to continue walking when you bumped against someone.

You shrieked, stumbling back, only to feel a firm hand catch your wrist, grounding you. “Take it easy, it's just me, what are you running from?” A low, steady and familiar voice spoke. You blinked, looking up to see Jay looking at you in confusion. “Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going,” Jay looked at you for a second, eyes narrowing but he didn't push further, “okay, but are you sure everything's fine?” You nodded your head quickly, “what are you doing here?”

Jay sighed, avoiding your eyes, “I waited for you, but you were taking too long so I thought I'll just swing by the library, don't mind that, let's go home.” He nodded his head towards the parking lot, already two steps ahead. You followed him, looking back one last time before running to catch up with him. You could feel he didn't buy your lie, you could see it in the way his shoulders were tense and he slowed his pace so he was talking right beside you.

You leaned against the headboard in your room, the only light inside the room was from your laptop as you watched your favorite drama. The apartment was quiet, just how you liked it. Jay was out of the apartment, and Sunghoon came in late.

You sighed, mind still racing with thoughts about your encounter with Jongsu, you massaged your head, praying he won't try to contact you again. Your phone buzzed beside you, a text. You unlocked it to see Sunghoon's name, ‘door's unlock, come if you're awake, need to feel you.’

Your thighs automatically rubbed against each other at the text, closing your laptop and pulling off the covers, you looked over your outfit in the mirror. You skimmed out of your shorts, leaving you only with your oversized t-shirt and panties, you left your room. You didn't knock, just slip inside his room, barefooted, the hardwood cold under your toes. Sunghoon was sitting at the edge of the bed, eyes trained on the ground but then glanced up when he heard you approach him.

His hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer so you stood in between his legs. He nuzzled into your stomach, a deep sigh escaping his lips. Your brows furrowed, but you still reached up to run your fingers through his hair, “you good baby?”

He nodded against your stomach, placing a kiss against it, “it's been a while since I held you like this.” Your heart stuttered but you pulled him away, tracing his eyebrow gently, “well you have me now.” He smiled, though it didn't hold the usual mischievous glint behind them, “I know.”

He pulled your t-shirt up with one hand, the other tugging your panties down your leg. You gasped after feeling the cool air brushed against your bare core. Sunghoon didn't waste any time, just dived in and licked a long stripe against your slit. You moaned, fingers curling tightly around his hair and shoulder. He adjusted one of your legs on the bed, beside his thigh, angling his head so he could eat you better. One of his hands gripped the swell of your ass so you wouldn't move away, anchoring you to him.

He flicked his tongue against your pussy, licking up your juices that spilled out. You arched your back, head thrown back in ecstacy, “I missed your mouth so much,” you breathed out, cupping your breast. He looked up, mouth still attached to your pussy as he sucked on your clit.

He groaned, rolling his eyes as he watched you pull the t-shirt over your head as you played with your breast. He groaned again, slipping his fingers inside, curling around just enough to choke out a broken gasp out of you. His nose brushed against your clit as his tongue licked up your wetness.

“I'm cumming,” you groaned as you felt the familiar knot in your stomach. He held you tightly as your body trembled, orgasm washing over you. He licked up all your juices, not letting a single drop go to waste. You knew better than to push him away, knowing well that he wouldn't let you move.

He continued slurping your juices, moaning into your pussy as if it was him getting off. He removed his fingers, licking them clean when he pulled away. Your knees buckled and he pulled you on his lap. Your head dropped on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around to ground you.

Sunghoon made you sit on the bed and got up from the bed, leaning down against the headboard after taking off his pants and boxers. You made your way towards him, straddling his lap. He kissed you as he lined himself against your entrance, a choked moan leaving his lips as he bottomed out. “Fuck, I missed this so much,” he breathed, thumbs rubbing circles on your hips. You sighed, feeling full.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. His hands moved slowly against your skin as you moved against him. His movements were less rushed as compared to other times, like he was taking his time memorising than chasing his needs. You indulged in him with the same quiet intensity. When both of you were done chasing your highs, you laid on your back, breathing shallow. He laid beside you, fingers tracing your side, as he looked at you. His hand lingered on your body, warm and gentle but still a bit hesitant.

“Do you still feel awkward here?” He murmured, his voice low and rough. You didn't look at him but you let out a soft hum. The trembling of your body had calmed down but you couldn't calm your heart. You were starting to realize things weren't as casual with Sunghoon as both of you initially meant, though both of you were too cowardly to talk about it. You only called out for each other to chase your high, then leave. But somewhere along the way, both of you started lingering even after that.

The slow drag of his fingers against your skin, the way he mumbled sweet nothings in your ears, the way he praised you, it was all too sweet. All too consuming, and they tugged at your heart in a way you weren't sure you could afford to feel. And it scared you, how you weren't really minding the way he curled up beside you, head tucked in your neck, legs tangled. You were scared how you didn't mind getting used to this.

You woke up, looking out the window you could tell it was early in the morning, your hands reached out to pull your t-shirt and panties back on you. You looked over your shoulder, Sunghoon was still deep in sleep, mouth parted as he clutched the pillow closer. You stared at him for a minute, feeling the weird tightening in your chest the more you looked.

You sighed, deciding to get back in your room since you had a long day ahead before the weekend hit, you slipped out of his room. Your mind was filled with thoughts you couldn't piece together, too consumed by them to notice Jay watching you slip out of Sunghoon's room to get inside yours when he got out of his room for his morning run.

You made coffee for you and Jay, like you always did. You looked at the time, frowning when he didn't show up in the kitchen as usual. You knocked on his door, waiting. “Jay?” You called out, knocking again and he opened the door, bag slung over his shoulder as he looked at you.

“You're going already? But the class doesn't start until later,” you questioned as you stepped aside. He nodded his head, eyes looking anywhere but you, “yeah, I need to find something related with my assignment, so I'll get going now,” He mumbled, making his way towards the entrance.

You followed him like a lost puppy, “I made you coffee,” you blurted meekly, he hesitated for a moment, “I figured, I'm sorry, I really need to go,” you opened your mouth to say something but closed it back when you saw him grab his keys hurriedly.

“Jay,” you called out, and he turned towards you, raising his eyebrows, “um, you didn't eat breakfast, don't forget to have it before the class starts.” You weren't even sure why you felt the need to call his name, more or less reminding him to eat his breakfast. He looked at you for a while before slowly nodding his head and leaving the apartment.

You don't remember how long you stood at the entryway, looking at the door where Jay stood a few moments back. It had been an unspoken routine between you two, you'd make coffee for him then he'd make breakfast and both of you would eat it and leave for the university together. Today felt different, almost weird, to not share your coffee or breakfast with him.

You turned around when you felt footsteps approaching, “you're up already?” You questioned as you spotted Sunghoon coming out of his room, rubbing his eyes.

“Hmm?” He mumbled, finally looking at you, “oh? You're still here? Class got cancelled?” He questioned as he approached you, wrapping his hands around your waist and kissing your neck as he pulled you closer. You clutched his arms, tilting your head to give more access to him. His lips felt too soft against your skin.

“Why are you up early today?” You asked, pulling away a little. “Hmm, I was expecting you beside me when I woke up, but you weren't there, couldn't sleep back after that.” You could feel your throat tighten, but you smiled, “I'll get ready.”

Sunghoon grabbed your wrist when you stepped away, “Go get ready, I’ll make breakfast, eat first then I'll drop you off and go to my class.” You nodded your head, and he released his hold on you. Neither of you spoke much during the breakfast, a quiet silence enveloping around you.

Sunghoon bid you goodbye as soon as he parked in the university's parking lot, you declined when he offered to drop you till your class, “my class is literally in the opposite building to yours Hoon, let's meet later.” He was about to retort but then nodded his head, running towards his building and you turned to go to yours.

You entered the class, which was almost full, scanning the room to see if there were any seats left in the middle. Your eyes drifted off towards Jay, he kept his bag on the seat beside him and if today was any other day, you'd have probably approached him without a second thought, but you hesitated.

Eyes scanning around the rooms again to see if there are any other seats. Mrs. Im entered the class, standing beside you, “difficulty in finding the seat today?” She asked in a cheerful tone, the class quieted down as soon as she entered and unfortunately it put the spotlight on you too.

You sighed, nodding your head as she looked around for any seat, your eyes caught onto a moment from your peripheral vision. You looked at Jay as he removed his bag and put it on the ground beside him, and you breathed a sigh of relief as you approached the seat to sit beside him. “So now that everyone is settled, shall we start the class?”

You turned your head, looking at Jay, “thanks for saving up a seat.” He didn't look at you, eyes focused on the board, “I know you don't like sitting at the back in Mrs. Im's class.” He didn't need to elaborate further because both of you knew you liked sitting close to the board in Mrs. Im’s class because it was your favorite class.

Even as the day ended, and you heaved a sigh of relief, dreaming about how you'd spend your weekend other than getting drowned in your assignments, your mind kept drifting towards Jay who made it his personal mission to not have a single prolonged conversation with you. His replies were short, ending the conversation before it even started. You thought maybe he was having a bad day, then you saw him talking with other people, laughing and joking like it was just another day.

You concluded maybe you did something wrong, but you weren't sure what you did or maybe he spent most of his time around you so he was trying to create space and talk with other people for a change. Even that thought went flying above your head when you saw him brush past Sunghoon in a hurry, mumbling something about being busy. Sunghoon looked at you, confusion written on his face and you shrugged, unable to answer.

You were sitting on the chair in a corner of the living room as you were researching your assignment while watching the city from the wall length glass window. The sight never failed to amaze you and you found yourself coming here when you couldn't sleep or when your head was too loud. Jay sat a few feet away from you, on the couch, watching a movie he mentioned about while doing his own assignment.

“Are you guys seriously doing work on a weekend?” Sunghoon asked as he leaned against the wall. Jay nodded, “just for tonight, the deadline is approaching.” Sunghoon looked at you and you nodded in agreement, he sighed. “I'll go out with Heeseung then,” he announced, disappearing into his room to get changed.

You looked at your laptop screen, the topic of your assignment starting back at you along with various tabs with research articles. Your eyes followed Sunghoon as he bid you both goodbye then they landed on Jay who was now leaning against the couch, head thrown back.

“This topic is too hard, nothing I do is making me satisfied,” you complained to no one in particular after some time, glaring at the screen as if it personally offended you. Jay turned his body towards you, resting his chin on the back of the couch, “we still have time.”

You glanced at him, biting your lips, “how far did you complete?” He looked at his laptop before his eyes landed on you again, “halfway?” And you know you still have a lot of time to complete the assignment, but something about the casual way Jay talked about his topic made you uneasy. What if you fucked up this assignment and disappoint Mrs. Im?

You nodded, turning back towards your assignment with newfound fire in your eyes which wasn't there before. Jay shook his head, closing his laptop as he settled on the couch to watch the movie. You kept working on your assignment, losing the track of time, somewhere in between, when the movie was finished, Jay got out of the living room but you were fixed on your work.

You only stopped when you saw Jay's shadow loom over you. “Come on, it's past midnight, eat something or you'll pass out,” you closed your laptop, placing your things on the coffee table beside Jay's and made your way into the kitchen.

“Don't be so hard on yourself, we still have time,” you heard him speak as you were halfway through your dinner. You sighed, running a hand through your hair, “it's easy to say that when you've almost completed the work.” He gave you a deadpan look, “don't be like that, you know everyone works at their own pace.” You knew that, you knew everyone works at their own pace, but you couldn't help comparing, not when every professor that taught you always spoke highly of Jay too.

“Okay, I'll try my best.” Jay looked at you for a second before nodding his head. He cleaned the table as you washed the dishes, your mind still replaying the conversation you had with Jay earlier. “Do you need any help?” Jay asked when he finished cleaning up, you turned around, shaking your head no before continuing washing dishes. “Okay,” he said, making his way out of the kitchen. You finished washing the dishes, stretching your back as you made your way towards the refrigerator to get some water.

You stepped out of the kitchen, turning towards the living room to take your things back to your room, you spotted Jay, drawing the blinds as you stepped inside. He didn't notice your presence, so you took your time to look at him.

He wasn't wearing anything special, just a t-shirt and his shorts, but still you couldn't bring yourself to take your eyes off him. He looked too handsome to not stare. The realization of what you were thinking hit you too fast and you shook your head, tearing your gaze and thoughts off of him as you turned around to go back, deciding to take your things later.

Jay finally turned, eyes catching your figure mid turn as if he didn't expect you standing there. He called your name, and you spun around to face him, too fast, too off guard that he called you. Your foot twisted at the edge of the rug, and before you could balance yourself, your ankle gave out beneath you. A sharp pain bloomed through your leg and you sat down, holding your leg as pain surged through you, hot and quick.

“Shit,” you heard Jay breathing as he moved beside you, “are you okay?” You didn't answer him right away, too focused on clutching your ankle to ease the pain. He crouched beside you, one knee brushing the floor as he reached out towards your leg hesitantly. “Can I?” He asked, motioning towards your leg. You nodded, and he gently touched your ankle, fingers brushing against your skin as if he was scared you'd break. A frown adorned his eyebrows as he tried to move your ankle, checking.

“Okay, there's no swelling, so that's a good thing,” you let out a soft breath, still wincing as you moved your ankle too much. “It's so stupid, I should've looked properly.” Jay huffed a small laugh, more breath than sound as he looked at you, “why would you even spin that fast?” You glared at him, “I was just startled, that's it.” He nodded, eyes still focused on your ankle, “let's get you to your room,” he murmured as he slid his arm around your waist and other under your knees, pulling you up with him as if you weighed nothing.

You tensed, hands circling around his shoulders to stabilize yourself, “Jay I can walk.” He shook his head, already adjusting you in his arms, “no you clearly can't.” There wasn't any sharpness behind his tone, just a steady insistence. He held you like this wasn't the first time as he made his way down the hallway and into your room. You caught his scent, light soap mixed with honey and vanilla, too familiar. He set you down on your bed, leaving the room without uttering another word.

For a moment you thought he left you just like that, with a wide open door. But then he returned, now carrying a first aid box in his hand, closing the door behind him as he sat in front of you. He took off the ointment, taking a generous amount as he lightly massaged your ankle. You hissed in pain, one of your hands clutching the sheet as the other held his forearm. If your nails dug into his skin, he didn't complain.

After a while, when you got used to the action, you relaxed a bit, still holding onto his forearm as you watched him. A weird feeling bloomed inside your stomach, with the way he had been avoiding you all day, you were shocked to see him tend to you with such gentleness. He closed the first aid box, keeping it on your nightstand, he got up ready to go when you stopped him. “Thanks for this,” you spoke and he nodded, “don't mention it,” walking out of your room and closing the door behind him.

As soon as Jay closed your door, the door to Sunghoon's room bursted open. Jay flinched, not expecting him to be home so soon. Sunghoon's eyes narrowed as he watched Jay, a flicker of confusion in his eyes, “you were with her just now?” He asked cautiously, Jay looked back at your door as if it would speak on his behalf but then he nodded, looking back at him. “I didn't know you were that close?” Jay scoffed at the sharpness of his voice, “well I guess we are now.”

Sunghoon's lips twitched, and he made his way towards Jay, stepping closer. Jay held his gaze, not backing off. “Is that how it is?” Sunghoon question, his breath fanning against Jay's cheek. “Yeah,” Jay replied, eyes falling on Sunghoon's lips for a moment before he backed off, brushing past Sunghoon to get inside his room.

Sunghoon took a step forward, hand curling around the doorknob of your room before he hesitated. Taking his hand off your doorknob, he stepped back, slipping inside his room instead.

Sunghoon stood in front of his mirror, adjusting the collar of his black shirt, giving himself one last once-over. His phone buzzed on the dresser beside him. He glanced down just as your name lit up his screen. Right then, the door of his room creaked open, and Jay stepped in, fully dressed, keys in his hand. His eyes flickered towards the buzzing phone. Sunghoon raised his eyebrows as he looked at Jay, “looks like she reached the party.”

Instead of replying, Jay crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the door frame. Sunghoon picked up the call, thumb tapping against the speaker. As soon as he answered the call, loud music blared through the speaker, bass heavy, there were voices in the background, laughter spilling inside Sunghoon's quiet room.

For a while, none of them could hear anything other than the background noise, too loud then your voice echoed through the speaker, warm and half-dizzy, “where are you guys? Please tell me you're on your way, Jiyeon is busy with her other friends, I don't want to be surrounded by strangers for long.”

Jay smirked at your voice, already straightening up. Sunghoon looked at him, his expressions neutral as he replied, “we’re leaving now.” Both of them made their way out of the apartment, “good, I'll be waiting somewhere, please find me as soon as possible, see ya.” Just as Sunghoon was about to hit the end button he heard you curse, and both of them stopped, trying to catch what was happening or if you needed any help.

“I'm not interested in you Mr., leave me alone, this is the second time I'm telling you.” Jay looked at Sunghoon, they could faintly hear the guy keep on insisting and the way you groaned in frustration. Jay was about to say something to Sunghoon when your voice rang from the speaker, loud and clear, “boy I will break your ribs and make you suck your own dick if you're that desperate to put your dick in something, don't test me.” Jay looked at Sunghoon, eyes wide in shock, Sunghoon just laughed, ending the call as your voice drowned out with more curses.

The party was in full swing by the time Jay and Sunghoon reached inside the house. Laughter spilling through high ceilings, colored lightning coating their silhouette. There was a DJ on the opposite end of the bar, the large living room cleared to make space to hang around and dance.

Jay stopped Sunghoon in the doorway, his eyes scanning the room. Sunghoon pointed in the direction where you were sitting on the armrest of the couch, leaned against the wall, nursing a glass of half-empty glass, as you nodded at someone.

You weren't really in the center, but you might as well have been since they couldn't get their eyes off. You laughed at something, tilting your head back, your hair falling over your shoulder catching the light. And the black dress that you wore, looked like it was tailor made just for you, hugging your body just right.

Jay stood there, frozen for a second, his gaze lingering on your bare thighs longer than he would like to admit. Beside him Sunghoon smirked, all too familiar with this side of you, in your element, free from your student life.

They could see your eyes roaming around the room before they landed on both of them, a wide, giddy smile etching up on your face in relief as you motioned them to come closer. Sunghoon moved first, easy and relaxed as he navigated through the crowd. Jay hesitated for a moment, before following Sunghoon.

Jay's steps slowed down a bit when he reached you, and for a moment he just observed you. His eyes scanned every action of yours, the way you were drinking alcohol, posture relaxed, eyes gleaming, the way you arched your eyebrows at them, the way your lips curled around the corner, mischievously. He had never seen you like this, so free, eased off all the worries of assignments and classes.

Sunghoon leaned against the wall beside you as Jay sat beside you on the couch. “Took you guys long enough,” you complained, gulping down the rest of your drink, Sunghoon chuckled, “but we are here now, aren't we?” Nudging you with his hip as he passed one glass to Jay and took a sip with another.

After that, conversation flowed in seamlessly between you three, the rest of the world blocking out as you teased each other for their alcohol tolerance. Sunghoon casually reached out inside his pocket, mid laugh as he pulled a cigarette and lit it up with practised ease.

He took a slow drag out of it, then without a word he offered it to you across your shoulder. You took it without hesitation, lifting it up to your lips and inhaling. You let the smoke rest as you passed the cigarette back to Sunghoon and exhaled out the smoke and just like that, Jay paused.

He didn't say anything, didn't even react much but you saw the way his eyes lingered on you as you resumed your story like it wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't. Jay leaned back against the couch, lifting his glass up to take a sip, watching you through the rim of the glass.

The night continued, Jay was talking with a guy you didn't know the name of, Sunghoon was dragged away by Heeseung to get more drinks and you were leaning against the kitchen counter, swirling the drink in your hand. Your eyes were trained on Sunghoon, the way his arm was slung over Heeseung's shoulder, a lazy grin plastered on his face, as he stumbled a bit.

Jay approached you, and your attention shifted. “I didn't know you smoke,” he voiced out as he stepped closer, you smirked turning to face him as he leaned beside you. “Are you judging me?” You asked, more amused than defensive and he shook his head, “just intrigued, didn't know you had this side too.”

Your smile deepened and you hid it by drinking the alcohol from your cup, before you could say anything to him, your eyes landed on Sunghoon, who was being helped by Heeseung and one other guy, as they nearly tripped while keeping him afloat. “I think we should head home, otherwise he will puke over someone.”

Jay followed your gaze, sighing as he put his drink down. “Come on, I'll get him to the car.” Jay walked towards them, lifting off Sunghoon from their shoulders with ease, like he had done this countless times. Sunghoon muttered something against Jay's neck, lips brushing against Jay's skin. Jay sucked in his breath as he led him towards the car.

You followed both of them through the crowd, pausing when you felt a hand circle around your wrist. You turned around to find Jiyeon, the birthday girl, smiling at you. Stepping closer, you leaned in to press a kiss against her cheek, “happy birthday love, I think I'll head back now, enjoy your party okay?” Jiyeon pouted, not really in the mood to let go of you yet.

You hugged her, promising to hangout soon, and she nodded, letting you go as another person called out her name. “Be safe, and text me when you'll reach home,” she yelled at you before she was dragged away by her other friends. You just laughed, nodding at her before you turned around to get out of the house.

As you stepped out of the house, you could see Jay shutting the door of the passenger's seat close after he helped Sunghoon get in. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, watching Sunghoon's breathing even out as he drifted off to sleep. You made your way down the stairs of the entrance, eager to get back home and relax. The party had dulled into a background noise as you made your way towards the car, when you heard a voice from behind you.

“There you are,” you froze, immediately recognizing the voice, Yoon Jongsu. You heard him step closer, and you turned to your side when he stood beside you. “You always try to run away from me,” he stepped closer, invading your space, “but I keep on finding you, is that fate?”

The amount of alcohol you consumed, and the cigarette together made everything a bit more slower in your system, “what the hell are you doing here?” He put his hands in his pockets, eyes shamelessly trailing down your body, “just wanted to talk, why do you always push me away?”

“I don't want to talk, leave now.” You took a step back but he moved two steps forward. “Come on,” he pouted, head tilting in mock concern, “you're clearly drunk, you need someone to take care of you, let me do that.” His hand touched your arm and you flinched, slapping his hand away and before you could say anything to him, he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and he bent towards your neck, his breath warm and sour against your skin. You pushed him away, but his grip tightened, “you smell so fucking good, I missed you so much.”

“Leave me,” you cried, shoving him hard but your movements were clumsy with all the alcohol running inside your veins. You were about to give up, eyes welling up with tears when Jongsu was ripped away from you, the force strong enough that you stumbled forward a bit at the impact.

Jay grabbed Jongsu by the shoulder before slamming his body down on the pavement. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Jongsu's eyes widened as Jay curled his fingers around his neck, his hands gripping on Jay's arms to push him away. Before Jongsu could speak, Jay landed a punch on his face, clean and hard.

Jongsu's head slammed against the pavement and he tried to land a punch on Jay's jaw. Jay gripped his neck tighter and before Jongsu could recover, Jay landed another punch, harder than before. Jongsu curled his body, gasping for air, blood dripping down his lips and cheek.

“You've already harassed two of my friends, you think I would let you go in one piece after you touched her?” Jongsu tried to get up, hands trembling, but failed as he couldn't find the strength. “Try going near her, I swear to god.” Jongsu's eyes landed on you before he looked at Jay's furious gaze, he stumbled back, crawling halfway through before he found enough energy to get up and run away.

Jay had his back turned towards you, chest rising and falling. Your eyes handed on his bruised knuckles, split open by the force at which he punched Jongsu. He turned towards you, eyes still wild but they softened as soon as he looked at you. “Did he hurt you?” He asked, stepping closer, you shook your head but he could hear the way your expression cracked, and the way your hands trembled that you weren't okay.

Cautiously, Jay stepped closer, circling one of his hands around your waist. You leaned into his touch, a little bit hesitant but you leaned your head against his shoulder. The only thing that grounded you amidst the chaos that happened a few moments back was his scent, and the way he held you like he was afraid you'd shatter if he let go.

“Let's get back home,” he mumbled as he felt you calm down a bit, hand running random patterns on your waist. You nodded, pulling away and Jay reluctantly slid his hand off your waist to hold your hand instead.

He led you towards the car, opening the door of the backseat and helping you get in. You called out his name just as he was about to get inside the driver's seat. “Come here,” you motioned him to sit beside you in the backseat for a while. He nodded, opening the door to slide beside you.

He watched you turn around to get the first aid box from the back. You gently held his bruised hand in your lap, cleaning the blood and applying ointment on it. You wrapped a bandage around his hand, tying a knot.

Jay watched you silently, eyes never leaving your face. “You didn't have to hit him like that,” you mumbled as you felt the weight of his gaze on you. He huffed, completely disagreeing, “I had to.” You shook your head as you looked at him, “I don't care that Jongsu is hurt,” you whispered, “but I do care about you, I don't like seeing you hurt, Jay.”

He didn't speak, just shifted closer to you. Thigh pressing up against yours, his hand stayed on your lap as you kept your eyes on his hand. His free hand reached up, fingertips grazing under your eye, then your jaw before they slipped around the nape of your neck. You didn't pull away, but you tilted your head up and your nose brushed against his. Your heart stuttered as his upper lip grazed against yours, barely, a ghost of a kiss, not quite real. You closed your eyes as your breath mingled with his.

His thumb slowly travelled to the back of your ear, before dipping lower, grazing your throat, then your collarbone. His movements weren't rushed, they were deliberate, intentional. “You're shaking,” he murmured, not accessing, just observing, “is your mind still replaying that scene?” He asked, mouth too close to your skin.

Jay tilted his head, breath trailing down from your cheek to your neck, his lips brushed against the curve of your neck, it wasn't a kiss but it was enough to make your body still.

He dropped his hand from your neck to your thigh, fingers brushing against the soft skin of your inner thighs as he finally settled his hand near the hem of your dress. His touch was feather light, like he was trying to get your mind to focus on him instead, like he was trying to ground you. And you didn't stop him, just soaked yourself in his presence.

Your hand found his and you intertwined your fingers tightly around his, “Jay,” you whispered, barely audible. He squeezed your hand in response.

His nose brushed against the skin of your neck, his warm breath anchoring you, “I'm doing this to erase his touch from your body,” he whispered, voice rough, “let me replace him so you would remember me instead.”

Before you could wrap your head around his words, his mouth parted to place a kiss at the crook of your neck. He pressed his lips against your skin, slow and steady, not rushed, not aggressive. It felt like undoing, like he was trying to rewrite something that you didn't like the first time.

Your breath hitched but you tilted your head, giving him space. Jay didn't stop pressing gentle kisses along your neck till your breathing eased under him, till he was sure you weren't shaking anymore. He pulled away far enough to look at you, “are you feeling okay?” You nodded your head, “yes.”

You nuzzled closer to his chest, finding home at the crook of his neck. One of his hands circled around your waist, rubbing your back in soothing motion, for a while both of you sat in silence, the weight of the lingering tension between both of you laid heavy on your mind.

“Let's go home,” Jay finally spoke, voice a little hoarse. You nodded your head, but neither of you moved for another minute. He opened the car's door, stepping into the night before circling around the driver's seat to get you home. Sunghoon was still deep in his sleep, blissfully unaware of everything that had happened.

When you reached the apartment complex, Jay carried Sunghoon on his back as you supported Sunghoon's weight. You opened the door, taking Sunghoon's shoes off and helping Jay with laying him on the bed. You went inside the kitchen as Jay started taking off Sunghoon's jacket and accessories, you bought a pack of Advil and a glass of water for him to take when he wakes up. Jay removed a few strands of hair from Sunghoon's forehead, his moments tender as he stepped away.

You left Sunghoon's room, feeling as if you were intruding a moment when you felt fingers wrapping around your wrist. You turned around, surprised and Jay pulled you towards him, chest to chest, his hand sliding up your spine to rest against the back of your neck, firm and grounding.

“Today wasn't the first time,” he wasn't asking, it was a statement and with the way he was looking in your eyes, you couldn't bring yourself to lie. Instead you lowered your eyes but he tilted your head up, “why didn't you call me when you clearly knew you wouldn't be able to fight him?”

“I didn't think it would escalate that bad,” you murmured as he leaned in, nose brushing against yours. “Next time, I hope there's no next time,” he breathed, shutting his eyes close as if it pained him to even think about it, “but if that ever happens again, call me or Sunghoon, let us help you.”

You nodded your head, and he pulled your head against his chest as he hugged you tightly. “I know you prefer to solve your own issues, but I'm offering, I'll come to you whenever, just don't go through your struggles alone.” You gripped his shirt, overwhelmed.

“Promise me,” he whispered and you nodded, he gripped your neck as he pulled back, eyes narrowing at you, “use your words, princess.” Your breath hitched at the tone of his voice, much harsher than he ever used with you, “yes, I promise.”

He rubbed the side of your neck with his thumb, his movements gentle, “good, go to sleep now, don't go to university tomorrow, rest up, I'll take the notes for you.” He kissed your forehead, lightly, before pressing his palm flat against your stomach to gently push you inside your bedroom. You let him, “good night, Jay.” “Night.” You closed the door.

You knocked on Sunghoon's door the next day before pushing it open. You peeked your head inside and Sunghoon was already sitting up on his bed, hair disheveled as he sleepily gazed at you. Stepping into his room, you approached him, removing the hair that fell upon his forehead as you sat in front of him. “How are you feeling?” You asked, and he grabbed your hand, placing it on his lap, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I'm good,” he kept his eyes on your intertwined hands.

You frowned, “are you sure? I can order takeout.” You got up to get your phone but he just pulled you back, not letting go. “Jay already prepared breakfast, I ate with him before he went to university.” You nodded, before cupping his cheek so he would look at you, “is something bothering you then?”

He sucked in a breath, eyes falling on your connected hand before he slumped against your shoulder, head nestled between your neck and shoulder. You sighed, running a hand through his hair to soothe him. “You wanna go out for coffee?” You felt him nod as he pressed a lingering kiss against your neck.

You sat on the passenger's seat as Sunghoon drove back, feeling relaxed. You were contemplating on whether to talk to Sunghoon about what happened yesterday or to just let go and talk it out some other time because he looked more tense and in his head today. You leaned your head against the lead, sighing and Sunghoon gave you a look as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment.

He parked away from his regular spot, in a more secluded area, and you frowned but didn't question him. “Do you not plan on telling me anything and just keep it between you and Jay?” His words caught you off guard, and you looked at him, his hands clutching the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles went white.

“What are you saying?” You asked, taking off your seatbelt to fully face him. “Jongsu, Jay told me what happened yesterday,” he looked at you, removing his seatbelt as he waited for you to say something.

“Jay took care of him, I don't think he'll return, you know I would have dealt with him myself but I was drunk,” you explained, and he huffed a breath. “I know he won't come around, I'll make sure of that,” he muttered, breaking eye contact. You massage your temple, “I'm sorry that I didn't tell you guys, even I was surprised when I saw him.” He neither looked at you, nor replied for a while, then he slowly reclined his seat as he looked at you. He patted on his thighs, looking at you and you removed your shoes, settling on his lap.

His hands trailing upward from your waist to your chest, sliding off your jacket lazily. You frowned when he started unbuttoning your shirt, hands grabbing his as you gave him a look, “what if someone will see? We're literally in your parking lot, we can do this at home.”

Sunghoon clicked his tongue, removing his own jacket and unbuttoning a few of the top buttons to expose his skin. You suck in a breath, eyes wandering around the parking lot, “what if the windows fog? It can turn on the fire alarm!” Sunghoon shrugged, lowering the windows just a little bit so air could flow out, “happy?” He smirked, trailing his hands up to remove your shirt fully.

You rolled your eyes, but didn't stop him. He unhooked your bra and you slipped the straps off your shoulders. Sunghoon's eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your bare chest like he hadn't seen them before, licking his bottom lip, cupping both of your tits, massaging the soft flesh, playing with the bud.

“I could play with your tits forever you know,” he replied, eyes hooded, a lazy smirk adorning his lips. His movements weren't rushed, in fact he was deliberate, as he slowly dipped his head to capture your nipple in his mouth while toying with the other.

You threw your head back, arching into him as he sucked on your tit, he moaned, sliding one of his hands across your waist to anchor you to him. He bit the bud lightly, the press of his teeth firm enough to send chills down your spine, your hips started moving back and forth to ease the ache in your stomach and Sunghoon groaned, pinching your other nipple.

“Don't rush,” he spoke through gritted teeth, not letting go your nipple from his mouth and then he went back on sucking your other tit with the same level of reverence he did with the previous one.

His hand guided your hips in slow manner, he occasionally bucked his hips to create more friction just to hear you moan. His drool slid off from your breast to your stomach, eyes closed as if he was on cloud nine. He let go off your tits to capture your lips with his, and your mouth parted instinctively.

He pushed his tongue in your mouth, exploring. His hand travelled down to massage your pussy through your panties. You clutched his shoulders hard, and you were too dazed to realize he had freed himself in the meantime.

He pushed your skirt up till your waist and tucked your panties to the side, gathering your wetness on his dick with a few slow drags against your slit before pushing it in. You circled your arms around his neck, head tucked against his neck, breathing him in. He kissed your temple as he caressed your sides, “let me do all the work, you just sit on my lap like the sweetheart you are.”

He started thrusting his hips in you, slow, precise and deep. You held onto the seat and his shoulder when you felt your orgasm crash over you, coating his lower abdomen in your essence. He groaned as he neared his own release, spurting his cum inside you as he continued to ride out his orgasm.

You cupped his cheeks, placing a kiss on his lips as his breathing evened out, he chased your lips when you pulled away, grabbing your neck to pull you back to him. You sat there for a while sharing lazy kisses and gentle caresses while still being covered in each other's slick, he was still deep inside you. “I always wanted to try car sex, perfect opportunity,” he chuckled, looking at you as you dressed yourself up. You rolled your eyes, chuckling along with him nonetheless. “You're insatiable.”

You took a shower, deciding to edit your assignment and give it some final touch before submitting it tomorrow. You took your laptop in the living room where you usually liked to work, Sunghoon left the apartment a few hours ago to complete his own group project. “I'll be in my room if you need anything,” Jay smiled as he switched off the TV so as to not disturb.

You waved back at him half heartedly, sighing as you reached for the power button on your laptop, you scrolled through the phone, waiting for the screen to light up. The familiar chime fell into your ears, the screen blinked on.

You tossed your phone on the table, leaning over to search for the folder where you kept all your academic related things. Your gaze roamed over the screen lazily, trying to find the all too familiar file name. Before you could click on the folder, your screen's light flickered, confusion washing over you and then nothing.

You froze, eyes fixed on the file, you refreshed the folder, still nothing. With trembling fingers, you restarted your laptop, crossing your fingers in hope that you'd get the folder as it was before, but then also, the blank folder stared back at you. You checked the recycle bin, the external folder, your cloud sync, still nothing.

Panic rose deep in your throat, eyes welling up with unshed tears. Your hands trembled as you tried to calm yourself down and recheck everything once again in hopes of finding something, anything. Your research paper, the one due tomorrow, the one you spent the last 3 weeks working on, the one Mrs. Im said she was looking forward to, is gone.

You couldn't think straight, but you stood up, grabbing the laptop in your hand, and made your way towards the hallway. Jay. You needed Jay. You pushed open the door to his room without knocking, dropped your laptop on his desk. Jay looked up from his phone at the sound, standing up in confusion.

You crossed the distance towards him like gravity was pulling you to him and wordlessly, you wrapped your hands around his neck, burying your face on his shoulder as tears came rushing down your face.

Jay wrapped his hands around you, hesitantly, rubbing your back as he let you cry your heart out. You just cried harder, fist clutching his shirt, “it's gone Jay,” you sniffled, “my assignment, I searched everywhere, it's not there,” you hiccupped. “Let me see it, you don't have to fix it right now, let's see what we can do, hm?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead as consoled you. You shook your head, still crying hard, “Mrs. Im doesn't even accept extensions, what will I do now? She will be so disappointed, I worked so hard for it.”

Jay let you cry, holding onto you tightly but then he felt your body leaned against his. Jay called your name, but you didn't answer. He pulled away, and your head slumped against his shoulders. “Shit, wake up!” He carried you, laying you on his bed as he tried to wake you up. Jay ran his hand through his hair, panic rising in his chest as you passed out in his arms. He sighed, pulling the covers on your body and he stepped towards his desk, opening your laptop to check the issue.

Jay reached for his phone, dialing Sunghoon's number, he picked up after two rings and Jay could hear the soft hum of the engine in the background. “When are you coming back?” Jay questioned, eyes trained on your laptop screen, “I'm in the parking lot, I'll be there in few, why?” Sunghoon asked before entering the elevator in case he needed to go back. “Come in my room when you reach,” Sunghoon hummed, pushing the button to their floor and hung up the call.

Five minutes later, the door opened and Sunghoon stepped in, he looked at Jay before his eyes landed on your figure, sleeping snuggled on Jay's bed, wrapped around in his blanket. Sunghoon gulped, “you called?” Jay hummed, gesturing towards the chair he pulled beside him. Sunghoon sat on the chair wordlessly. Jay looked away from the screen, turning his head towards Sunghoon, “her paper is gone, she was crying for some time before she passed out.”

Sunghoon's posture stiffened immediately as he leaned towards the screen, shoulder brushing against Jay's, “did you check everything?” Sunghoon questioned, already tapping into system files. Jay glanced over, cautious about the little distance in between them, “I did, couldn't find anything, do you think we can trace it?” Sunghoon sighed, “let me try what I can do, if it autosaved even once I'll be able to trace it.”

Both of them worked in silence, close and familiar. Their shoulders brushed against each other whenever someone leaned in to check something, hands overlapping on your keyboard for longer than necessary. Jay leaned back, unintentionally, against Sunghoon's chest as he rubbed his face, a tired sigh escaping his lips. Sunghoon gulped but didn't pull away, then his head turned towards you, who was still tucked in Jay's bed.

“You never let anyone sleep on your bed,” Sunghoon said, his tone wasn't laced with accusation, just a quiet observation. He could feel Jay's shoulder stiffened against him, before he relaxed. “It wasn't intentional,” Jay muttered as he turned his head to look at Sunghoon. Jay's eyes fell upon Sunghoon's lips as he bit them, clearing his throat, both of them looked back at the screen.

“Okay,” Sunghoon breathed, typing something on your laptop, “I think I know a way.” He pulled up a recovery path Heeseung once mentioned to him about when his files vanished, and clicked on it. The file popped open, and there it was, your document, dated and complete.

“Thank God,” Jay mumbled, hands gripping his hair as a sigh of relief left his mouth, “this is the exact version she was last working on.” Sunghoon shook his head, wordlessly saving up your file in two different locations as well as sending it on his and Jay's email, just in case. Jay's head fell on Sunghoon's shoulder, relief washing over him, “thanks for helping.”

Sunghoon gulped, sliding up his hand against Jay's spine, cautiously before settling it on his shoulder, “anything for you,” Jay's breath hitched, “and for her.” Sunghoon added, squeezing Jay's shoulder before standing up to go to his room, “I'm going to shower, let's try to cheer her up after she wakes up, sometimes she's way too hard on herself.” Jay nodded, heart beating loudly in his chest. Sunghoon gave him a tight smile before disappearing out of his room. Jay turned back towards your laptop, editing it one last time on your behalf.

You woke up after sometime, mind still cloudy as you took in your surroundings. As soon as you realized where you were, all the memories came crashing down at you all at once. Your eyes fell upon your laptop which was on Jay's desk, opened, you rushed towards it, scanning the screen.

Your heart leapt as you recognized the document, your research paper. You scrolled down to check, everything was proper, with citations. Just then the door swung open and Jay came inside the room, eyes softening as he spotted you.

You grinned as soon as you saw him, feet stumbling towards him before your mind could process. You threw your arms around him and he hugged you back, you held him tighter, crying out in happiness, “thank you so much, Jay.” You pulled away slightly, a wide smile plastered on your face as you cupped his cheeks and pressed feather light kisses all over his face. His hands tightened around your waist, eyes widening in surprise at your affection.

You kissed his forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and before you could press your lips against his you realized what you did. You pulled back abruptly, and Jay almost whined at the loss of contact, almost. “I'm so sorry,” you panicked, looking anywhere but him as you felt your cheeks heat up, “I just got too excited.” Jay opened his mouth to say something but before he could someone cleared their throat.

You turned your head to notice Sunghoon leaning against the doorframe, “I helped him you know?” He smirked, “more importantly it was me who revived the document.” You grinned, making your way towards him as you pulled him into a hug. He laughed, squeezing your figure back with the same amount of intensity, relieved that you were back in your element. “Where are my kisses? Or only Jay is allowed to have them?” He mumbled when you completely pulled away from him.

Your eyes widened as you looked back at Jay, who just raised an eyebrow at him. Sunghoon smirked at Jay before he leaned down to your level, “my kisses.” You rolled your eyes before cupping his face and pressed kisses across his face, just like how you did with Jay.

“Happy?” Sunghoon just grinned, straightening up and wiggling his eyebrows at Jay and leaving the room. “The nerve of this guy,” Jay muttered as he came beside you, looking at you over his shoulder, “come, we ordered your favorite, and don't worry about your assignment, I edited it.” You smiled at him, grateful for everything they did for you as you followed Jay towards the kitchen from where Sunghoon called out both of your names to eat the dinner.

All three of you were huddled together on the couch to watch a movie, Jay sat on your left while Sunghoon made himself comfortable on your right. Your body buzzed with awareness of the heat that radiated from both of them, somehow both of them unanimously decided to sit closer than they normally would.

You were sitting cross legged in your oversized t-shirt and shorts, Sunghoon's thigh resting comfortably under your folded leg. Jay's right elbow rested behind your shoulder, fingers grazing your collarbone when he moved.

The movie had been playing for half an hour now, but you were sure none of you were paying any attention to it. Sunghoon had turned off the lights, turning the apartment dim. The only light in the room was from the movie playing on the TV screen.

Sunghoon leaned forward to drink water from the glass kept on the coffee table, then he leaned back against the couch. One of his hands fell over your folded knees, his movements so casual you'd think it wasn't intentional, if it wasn't for the glint in his eyes as his lips twitched.

You gave him an accusatory glance but he just stared ahead, you didn't push further. Just as you were focusing your attention back on the movie, Jay coughed in his elbow, then leaned back, his fingers dipping low to trace the curve of your shoulder. You frowned, but gave him a benefit of doubt. You tried to focus on the movie, but failed again as Sunghoon's hand slid from your knees to your thigh, thumbs moving in circular motions into your soft skin.

Your breath hitched, but said nothing. Just then, Jay's hands shifted, fingers brushing your neck, under your hair, then staying there, thumb softly moving against the column of your neck with just enough weight to remind you of its presence. Your heart was pounding in your chest because of their touches, the moment somehow felt more intimate than sex, you were sure Jay could feel the way you swallowed the lump in your throat in nervousness every time.

Sunghoon's touches became more daring, hand sliding up to trace the hem of your shorts, so close to your core. Jay's touches were possessive, like he was making sure your attention wouldn't stray too far from him. You sighed, leaned against the couch, trapping Jay's hand between the couch and you, while also making Sunghoon's hand slide to your inner thigh which he didn't remove when you finally settled.

Your eyes fell upon Jay's hand and you instinctively reached forward, inspecting the wounds, “oh, your bruises are almost healed.” Jay didn't speak, just briefly glanced at Sunghoon before intertwining his hand with yours. Your eyes snapped towards Jay's, he never touched you in front of Sunghoon before, not like this, so intimately. You felt Sunghoon's hand cup your chin to focus your attention on him, hands sliding to your cheek so push your head on his shoulder.

You bit your lips, trying to understand what exactly was going on in their heads. “What is this?” You questioned, voice barely a whisper, you didn't look at them, you didn't need to do that to know they were listening. Sunghoon's movements flattered against your thigh and you could feel the way Jay's fingers twitched for a second.

“Hmm, both of you are definitely onto something, your silence is way too loud in my ears.” You sat up straight, effectively releasing your hand from Jay's hold as well as removing Sunghoon's hand from your thigh. Sunghoon groaned, and Jay just sighed, shaking his head.

It was Jay who moved first, hands grabbing your arm so your back was facing him. Before you could ask him what he was doing, he shifted, leaning against the armrest of the couch, spreading his legs wider as he pulled you towards him. Your back resting against his chest.

You yelped at the sudden closeness, but didn't move away. Sunghoon chuckled before he turned towards you, crawling towards you lazily. He curled into you, cheek resting on your chest, arms looping around your waist, and head tucked beneath your chin.

You shifted slightly, and both of them adjusted instinctively to keep you still. It should've felt uncomfortable, sandwiched between them, but it wasn't, it was dangerously calming that you could already get used to it. Your hands moved slowly, one hand threading through Sunghoon's hair with a thoughtless gentleness. He sighed, and low hum rumbling from his chest as he nuzzled closer.

Your other hand draped lazily over Jay's thigh, thumbs rubbing slow circles just above his knee, he didn't say anything, just shifted his hand to your throat, caressing the skin of your neck with his thumb.

“You know,” Sunghoon murmured after a while, low voice muffled against your chest, “since someone had a full-blown breakdown earlier, we thought it would be good to give you our emotional support.” You let out a soft scoff, half amused, half embarrassed, “it wasn't that bad.”

Jay snickered from behind you, hand squeezing your neck lightly to get your attention, “you cried for 20 minutes and then passed out in my arms.” Sunghoon smirked, sliding his hand underneath your t-shirt from your back, “exactly, so now you've to stay between the emotional recovery burrito we created just for you.”

“Both of you are so ridiculous,” you whispered, but there was no real bite behind it, just quiet endearment. Jay dipped his head low, lips brushing against the shell of your ear, “feels nice though.” Your heartbeat picked up the pace, you knew Sunghoon could feel it as he hummed softly, and a shiver ran down your spine as Jay didn't move away.

“What?” You asked, then you felt Sunghoon squeeze your waist, fingers digging on your skin when Jay spoke again, “this, you, being here like this.”

Sunghoon let out a low sound, not quite a laugh, “careful Jay, you're starting to sound attached.” You sighed at his words, worried Jay would close off again when Jay spoke, “maybe I am, but you're the one curled up on her like a baby koala.” Sunghoon scoffed, placing a kiss on your chest, “she's warm though, I'm comfortable.”

Silence wrapped around you three, and Sunghoon's hand reached up from your hips towards Jay's hand. You could feel Jay froze behind you, but Sunghoon didn't react, he just intertwined his fingers with Jay's, firm enough to anchor himself.

Jay's eyes flickered down to where Sunghoon's hand grabbed his, for a moment he just took in the scene in front of his eyes. You in his arms, leaning on him while Sunghoon curled up on you. The way your fingers never stopped rubbing small circles over his knees and the way your fingers were still carded through Sunghoon's hair, and then back at Sunghoon's hand.

Jay's breath trembled for a second before he let his fingers tighten between Sunghoon's and you could feel how that single gesture affected Sunghoon by the way his fingers twitched against your skin.

Jay's grip on your neck shifted a bit, more firmly, he tilted your head up, his moments slow and intentional. He leaned down to place a lingering kiss on the bridge of your nose. The movements of your thumb of his thigh flattered for a second and your fingers pressed tightly against his skin instead feeling overwhelmed by the gesture.

The soft hum of the city below was the only sound in the apartment, the movie had long ended but none of you moved. You were comfortable, tangled up in their arms. The weight of your earlier breakdown still sat heavily on your eyes and you drifted off to sleep, breaths soft and even. Jay wasn't sure if he was the only one who noticed that you had fallen asleep, “I think she's out.” Sunghoon hummed lazily, his own eyes felt heavy, “yeah, her heartbeat is steady now.”

Jay turned his head down, eyes lingering on Sunghoon for a beat longer than necessary, then they fell on the way Sunghoon grip was still firm against his hand and this time, it was Jay who reached first. He adjusted his grip, thumbs rubbing slow circles over Sunghoon's knuckles. Sunghoon exhaled a breath, closing his eyes, “shall we move her?”

Jay hummed, already shifting, “yeah, bed will be a better option to sleep.” Sunghoon sat up cautiously, careful not to wake you up. Jay followed, hands sliding beneath your knees and back to carry you in his arms. You stirred a bit, but your head fell on his shoulder, fingers curling on his shirt. Jay sighed, making his way towards Sunghoon's room. He looked down at your sleeping figure in his arms, smiling slightly. Sunghoon followed right behind him after switching off the TV. His steps light as they walked down the hall.

Jay laid you down in the middle of the bed, adjusting the pillow beneath your head and pulling up the covers. A soft whine left your lips at the lack of warmth and Sunghoon reached out to you, stroking your hair gently, “shh, sleep, we're here.” You hummed lightly, settling into the sheets, your grip on Jay's shirt loosening until it slid off completely. Jay looked at you for a moment before stepping back, hesitating to make another move.

“Where are you going? Stay,” Sunghoon looked at him, already making his way towards your side, pulling the covers over him. Jay sighed, nodding his head, he laid down next to you, slowly, still unsure, but when you shifted your body towards him, your hand gripping his shirt seeking him, he sighed in relief, snuggling closer as he hugged your waist. Sunghoon buried his head on your neck from behind, his hand overlapping Jay's over your waist, holding Jay's arm firmly.

Jay leaned his head on your forehead, closing his eyes. “Are you okay with this Jay?” Sunghoon asked, his voice full of uncertainty as he looked at Jay from over your shoulder. Jay turned his head a bit to look at Sunghoon for a moment, then he leaned closer till his forehead rested against Sunghoon's, “yeah, I am.”

The air felt heavier after that, but their hearts felt lighter, Jay tilted his head to press a chaste kiss on Sunghoon's forehead before resting his head back against the pillow, drifting off to sleep. Sunghoon tightened his grip on Jay's forearm as he nuzzled his head in your neck, finally letting the sleep consume him.

“She said she loved my paper,” You squealed excitedly as you walked beside Jay towards his car. Jay laughed watching your giddy expressions as you repeated what Mrs. Im said to you after analysing everyone's assignments. He was happy to see you finally smile so genuinely, you were restless for the rest of the week, even after submitting the assignment the next day. But now that you heard Mrs. Im praise you, and others, for their hard work, it was like the weight was finally lifted off your shoulders.

“You've said that line for about 5 times now,” Jay chuckled and you turned around towards him, nudging your shoulder against his. “Okay, I'll stop now,” you replied, lips curled permanently upward as both of you waited for Sunghoon near Jay's car. Jay shook his head, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear casually. You sighed, leaning against the car, looking at Sunghoon's building to check if he's coming.

“Sunghoon!” You called out, waving excitedly as he neared and it was enough for Sunghoon's mood to light up ten fold. He enveloped you in a hug as you squealed against his shoulder, “she loved it, she said it was exactly how she wanted the assignment to look like.” He ruffled your hair, unable to contain his own smile, “I told you she would love it.” He then turned to Jay, slinging an arm on his shoulder, “what did she say to you?”

Jay arched his eyebrows, but still slid his arm around Sunghoon's waist, opening his mouth to say something when you chimed in, “his presentation was discussed on the slideshow, and that says something about how she felt about his paper.” Jay looked at you, casually leaning against Sunghoon, “your paper was also discussed on the slideshow, don't act like I was the only one.” Jay rolled his eyes as you laughed and Sunghoon blinked, confusion laced on his face, “wait- what slideshow?”

Jay pulled away, leaning on the car beside you, “Mrs. Im does this thing where she picks a few papers every module to show the class where she talks about what worked with the paper and why. She does this in depth analysis, she never takes names but everyone knows whose paper it is.” You hummed, “she picks like four to five assignments max.” Sunghoon nodded, pout forming on his lips. “Hers had made it in every single time,” he bumped his shoulder on yours, then he looked at Sunghoon, “which has officially made her the favorite student.”

“She doesn't play favorites,” you corrected, “she just really values good writing and he has been featured in those slideshows quite a lot too.” You pointed out, “she said his introduction was especially strong, better than most grad papers she read.” Jay gave you a look, half teasing half proud, “you memorized my feedback?” You gave him a tight smile, crossing your hand across your chest, “I just listen when she talks, unlike you, who zones out the moment your paper is off the slide.”

Sunghoon let out a soft laugh, pinching your cheeks, “what is this? A nerd bragging hour?” Jay grinned, standing up to open the car door as Sunghoon slid in the passenger's seat and you made your way towards the backseat, “pretty much.” You leaned between the seats, “and I'm still undefeated,” you said, wiggling your eyebrows at Jay who just turned to you with a small smirk, “the semester isn't over yet princess.”

“God, I feel so dumb in between you two,” Sunghoon complained, slumping against the passenger's seat. Jay fastened his seat belt, giving Sunghoon a sideways glance, “are you kidding me?” You nodded, eyes narrowing as you turned towards Sunghoon, “didn't your startup pitch placed first in that intercollegiate thing last semester?” Jay agreed, “you're one of the top students in the business department.”

Sunghoon nodded, glancing between you and Jay, “okay, I feel less dumb now.” Jay started the car shaking his head, “you aren't not dumb.” You pulled Sunghoon's ears as he winced, “you are dangerous, hot and smart.” Sunghoon let out a full laugh, relaxing against the seat, “damn, I feel like a main character.” You looked out the window when you heard Jay whisper, “you always were.”

“Let's have a movie night or something, all three of us, what say?” You suggested when all of you were eating dinner. Jay hummed, silently agreeing when Sunghoon shook his head, “I'll be crashing with Heeseung tonight, we still have to wrap up our group project,” he said, pushing his plate away, “we're trying to finish it early since Heeseung's taking his girlfriend on the birthday trip he planned for her.”

You pouted at him as Jay cleaned the table but didn't stop him, “next time then.” Sunghoon just ruffled your hair, helping you with dishes before disappearing into his room to get ready.

“What are you looking for?” Jay asked as he watched you move through the living room, checking the table, couch, and shelves like you were on a mission. It had been a while since Sunghoon left and you were about to have some smoke before sleeping since you haven't smoked recently but you searched for your lighter everywhere but couldn't find it. “My lighter,” you exhaled out, eyes still searching, “I think I left it in Sunghoon's bag, and he took it with him.”

“Are you craving it that bad?” Jay questioned, making his way towards where you were, “umm, not like I'm badly craving it, I just wanted to feel high.” You sat on the couch, slumping against the armrest and Jay stood a few feet away from you, “I have a lighter in my room.” Your eyes lit up at his words, lips curling into an excited grin, “can I borrow it?” He motioned you to follow him, and you did, checking in your pocket to see if you have what you need and entered his room.

Jay opened the drawer of his desk before tossing the lighter in your direction, you caught it and by habit flicked it once to check if it's working. You stepped back ready to go into your room when Jay called, you turned around. “I'm doing nothing in particular so I was thinking if we could hangout, you can smoke here so I don't get bored,” he pointed at the window nook tucked into the adjacent wall of the bed.

“Are you sure?” You asked but your feet were already moving towards the nook. He nodded, sitting on the edge of his bed as you tucked yourself in one corner of the nook, opening the window and little so the smoke would flow out.

You settled on the nook, one leg folded while the other hung off the seat. You took a small, pre-rolled joint out from your short's pocket, checking it to see if you damaged it. Jay blinked as his eyes caught the joint in your hand, “wait,” he called out, eyes narrowing, “that isn't a cigarette.”

You blinked at him, but then nodded slowly, “yeah, it's weed.” He sat up straight, eyes now comically wide, “you are about to smoke weed?” You nodded again, leaning your head against the wall, laughing slightly, “yes, why are you acting so scandalized?”

He leaned back on his palms, “I'm not scandalized, just shocked that you smoke weed too.” You shrugged, playing with the lighter, “yeah that's because you've mostly seen me in class, not out of it.” Jay watched you for a second, then slowly his eyes landed on the joint still nestled in your hand, “what does it feel like?”

Your lips twitched as you looked at him then at the joint in your hand, “it depends,” you started, remembering Sunghoon telling you about how Jay had never tried anything except alcohol, “it can make you feel slow, soft and warm or it can make you spiral into a mess, it varies from person to person.”

Jay's eyes were fixed on the way you were lazily spinning the joint in between your fingers, you clearly weren't new to this, “it sounds intense.” You nodded your head, “it can be if it's your first time, the more you do it, the more you realize how it works for you.” Jay exhaled a deep breath, mind swirling with many thoughts, “so are there like different stages for this? Like the beginners stage, intermediate stage and final one?”

You laughed, shaking your head, finding the interaction amusing, “umm not exactly,” you said, still smiling, “you just smoke and figure it out, it kind of teaches you as you go.”

His brows creased, and he looked unconvinced, “no beginner's guide then?” You sighed, turning your body fully to look at him, “well not really but,” you contemplated, “some people shotgun, that way, the person doesn't take in too much at once, and it's less intense and more controlled.”

Jay tilted his head, confused, and got up to sit beside you on the small window nook, “shotgun?” You nodded, gulping, “yeah, it's when one person inhales the smoke from the joint and exhales it into the other person's mouth, it helps you feel it slowly.”

“That sounds very intimate,” he mumbled, eyes trained on his lap. “It is, but it works for first timers,” you shrugged, playing with the lighter. Jay looked at you for a moment, then back at the joint in your hand, “will you do that with me?” Your movements stopped midway, hand clutching tightly around the lighter. Your eyes met his, “are you sure?” He nodded once, then again, more confident the second time, “yes.”

“Okay,” you smiled at him as you got up to get some water in case he needed it. You placed it beside you on a small table, “what's that for?” He questioned, pointing towards the water bottle. “If you need it, the smoke makes your throat dry,” you informed, standing in front of him since both of you couldn't sit sideways in the small place.

“This place is too small,” he stated, but you just shook your head as you lit the joint with practiced ease, keeping one of your legs folded on the nook beside his thigh, you took the first inhale. The burn was warm against your throat and you held it in for a few seconds before you leaned towards the open space to exhale out.

“See,” you started, “when I'll exhale out the smoke this time around, I'll need you to inhale the smoke which will come out of my mouth okay?” You explained as you demonstrated to him and he watched you with a determined face which almost made you pinch his cheek with how cute he looked looking up at you like that, “okay.”

You shifted closer, almost straddling his thigh if you weren't standing. You turned slightly, bringing the joint to your lips, but this time around as you held the smoke in, you leaned down until your face was just a breath away from him.

You placed your hand on his shoulder for support, Jay's eyes flickered between your eyes and lips before he parted his lips, you exhaled slowly, and he sucked in a breath, letting the smoke pass from your mouth into his. He choked almost immediately, coughing into his fist as he leaned back. You rubbed his back, letting him calm down, “it's okay, almost everyone coughs the first time.”

He looked at you, eyes shinny as tears welled up in his eyes, “this was stronger than I anticipated.” You leaned in again, gently brushing the hair that stuck his forehead due to sweating, fingers tracing the curve of his eyebrows in a soothing manner, “you wanna try again or we can stop.”

“Let's try again,” he mumbled, biting his lips. You brought the joint up to your lips for another drag when Jay's hand curled around the back of your thigh to pull you towards him. You yelped, holding his shoulder for support as he adjusted you to sit on his lap, “you're going to get back pain if you keep on leaning like that.”

Your face heated up at the proximity, but you cleared your throat as you took the drag, and leaned in again, more closer this time. Jay slid his hands around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. He parted his lips, inhaling the smoke as you exhaled, slower this time.

Jay blinked slowly, not coughing up this time, lips parting in a soft breath as the high started to settle behind his eyes. “I feel like I'm floating, and everything is slower, and you're really close to me.” You chuckled, adjusting yourself in his lap and he clutched your sides like his life depended on it.

“I want to stay like this for a while,” he mumbled as you nodded, taking yet another drag and discarding the joint this time. You put your hands around his neck, and his lips parted instinctively as you leaned in. You tilted your head as you exhaled and he leaned in, mind set on inhaling the smoke but he captured your lips in his instead.

Your breath caught mid-exhale but the kiss didn't stop, it deepened, slow and steady. The smoke slipped past your lips into his, some of it slipping into space between you. His hands slid beneath your shirt, feeling your warm skin. The kiss was warm and lazy in the most intoxicated way. His tongue brushed against your lips, fingers sliding up to explore more of you. A shiver ran down your spine, mind hazy as you threaded your hand into his hair, soft strands of hair curling between your fingers as his lips moved against yours.

You pulled away from him, just to see his face. His lips were still parted, half lidded eyes staring back at you. His hands stayed underneath your shirt and you cupped his face, leaning in so your nose brushed against his as you muttered, “that wasn't shot gunning.” He arched your body towards him, making sure there was no space left in between you, “wanna do it again.”

It wasn't a question, it was a plea, a needy one as his eyes were laser focused on your lips. And before you could answer him, he was already leaning in, closing the distance between your lips like he was in a trance, which if you were being honest, he was.

He was warm beneath you, his muscles tensed and movements lazy as he breathed softly. Your hips shifted a bit, and you felt his body respond to your actions before his voice did.

One of his hands slid up your back, fingers digging into your skin as if he was trying to restrain himself. He pulled away, scrunching the hem of your shirt in his hands, tugging it slightly, voice husky and low, “Can I?” You nodded, missing the feeling of his lips pressed against yours.

He helped pull your shirt off slowly, fingers tracing the bare skin. The cool air from the window brushed against your shoulders as you threw the shirt beside him, without a second thought.

Jay leaned his back against the window as he eyes wandered across your skin, and you watched as his chest rose and fell as he took you in. He exhaled a shaky breath, hooded eyes lifting up to lock with yours, his thumbs tracing your sides, “you're…” he gulped, mouth parted instinctively in awe, like he couldn't believe you were sitting on his lap, looking so ravishing.

You didn't let him finish as your hands snaked around his neck to pull him towards you, he groaned as your lips crashed with his, all teeth and bites, but he loved every second of it.

He softly exhaled into your mouth, tasting the bitter taste of weed. He settled his hands firmly on your waist as he guided your hips into him, there was no rush in his actions, like he was savoring every second of the moment, every shudder, every gasp.

The high was wrapped around both of your heads, minds hazy and bodies warm, smoothing out everything that was sharp. There weren't many words shared between you, just soft sighs, and gasps and moans, like words would never be enough of what you were feeling in the moment.

Jay's hands left your hips to explore your skin, hands traveling up till they accidentally brushed against the band of your bra. He stopped as soon as you gasped against his mouth, but his hands rested there. You pulled away just enough to breathe, “it's okay, go ahead.”

His warm hands reached up, giving your tits a squeeze over your bra, your back arched against his clothed chest, a breathy moan slipping past your lips. He waited till your eyes met his, and when it did, he tugged at your bra strap, silently asking. You nodded, and his hands unclasped your bra in a swift motion, hands curling around the straps to slide them off your shoulders and put the fabric beside him.

As he took his time to stare at your bare chest, you pulled his shirt, and he discarded it quickly, throwing it somewhere behind you. His skin was warm beneath your palm and you let your hands explore his skin. Your hands traced over the slope of his shoulders, nails slightly grazing against his chest, tracing patterns over his abs, you took your time, memorising every part of his body.

Keeping your palm against his torso, you rolled your hips hard, creating a delicious friction against his clothed cock. He groaned, bucking his hips up, as you continued to grind down harder.

He hissed, grabbing your arms to ground himself. You shuddered as he put his head on your shoulder, breathing heavy, your nipples brushing against the hard muscles of his chest. You traced the skin above his waistband, nails scratching against the sensitive skin, “take this off.”

He tilted your head up so you'd look into his eyes as he lifted his hips to ease off his sweatpants and boxers. His hard cock rested against his stomach, the tip flush red. His hands found your hips again, hands trembling as he gripped you.

“You're trembling,” you whispered, taking his hands into yours. He looked up at you, mouth agape as he licked his lips, “you're making me lose my mind, how else should I react?” You leaned down to kiss him again, guiding his hands towards your boobs. He groaned, pinching your nipples and squeezing them as he sighed, “so soft.” Your hands slid down between your bodies, fingers curling around his cock. He hissed at the contact, hips jerking as he fell back against the window.

You stroked him slowly, observing the way his jaw clenched, the way his brows furrowed as he breathed heavy like he was barely holding himself back. You slid down his lap, and his eyes followed your every moment, hooded eyes darkening as he watched you kneel between his legs. Your hand continued his movements, tongue poking out to lick a stripe, he moaned, back arching off the nook. You sucked on his tip, tasting the saltiness of his precum that leaked.

His hands found your hair, making a makeshift ponytail. You took him into your mouth fully, his length hitting the back of your throat. You groaned, as you bobbed your head up and down his length, “fuck, your mouth feels so good.” He rutted his hips in your mouth, and you quickened your pace. You could see his breathing getting quick and shallow, the muscles of his abdomen tensing when he pulled out of your mouth. You whimpered, and he pulled you up, kissing you with reckless abandon.

His hands tugged at your shorts, pulling them down with your panties as you stood between his legs. He pulled you closer, groping the swell of your ass as he licked a stripe across your folds. You moaned, one hand gripping his hair and the other squeezing your breast as you threw your head back.

He hoisted one of your legs on the nook to get better access, angling his head as he sucked on your clit. He groaned, poking his tongue inside your pussy, as his nose brushed against your clit, licking up your juices. He kissed the inside of your thigh, pulling back.

He pulled you back on his lap, your hand helping in guiding his cock in your pussy. You sank down onto him, the stretch making you gasp. He was thick, as your pussy instinctively clenched around him. Jay's hand held your hips, fingers digging in your skin as he held you steady. He breathed heavily, kissing the corner of your mouth before he slowly guided you down till he bottomed out.

You rested your hand against his chest, leaning in to be more close to him, he captured your lips in his, not really kissing, just breathing you in. His cock was buried deep in you, and both of you stayed like that for sometime, letting your body adjust to his size.

He dipped his head low to suck on your nipple, and you slowly began to move, rocking your hips against his gently to feel the way his cock felt inside you. He cursed, eyes shutting close as he pushed his hips up to match the rhythm of your movements. Every time you sank down on him, he met you halfway, his movements more urgent. The sound of skin slapping against skin grew louder, wetter and hotter. “Hold still,” he breathed out, adjusting himself, “need to fuck you faster.”

You stilled your movements, nuzzling your head at the crook of his neck, sucking marks on his skin as he started thrusting his hips into you faster and harder. His hands wrapped around you so you won't squirm away. You felt your body go tense, thighs shivering as he relentlessly pounded into you, “Jay, I think, I’m gonna-” He held you tighter, one hand sliding down to rub your clit, “cum princess, give it to me.” Your orgasm hit faster at his words, rushing through your body like a wave, you clung into him, body falling slump against him as you moaned against his neck.

He groaned, deep and raw as you clenched around him. He followed moments later, hands gripping on your hips tightly as he spilled inside you. His body trembled beneath you, as ropes of cum coated your insides. His shivering hands travelled up your back, rubbing the skin up and down to calm you down as you circled your arms around his neck, holding him tight.

“I didn't mean it to happen,” he voiced out after sometime, hands still caressing your body tenderly. You stiffened at his words, trying to pull away but he just held you tighter, “but I'm glad it happened.”

He loosened his grip, pulling away to graze his knuckles against your cheeks, his eyes were soft, no tension, no hesitation, just tenderness. He pulled you by your neck, connecting his lips with yours, the kiss didn't burn, it just lingered. Then his lips found home on your shoulder, sucking on the skin.

He stood up, still buried deep inside you as he carried you towards the bed, laying you on the mattress without separating from you. He nuzzled his head in your neck, and your hands circled around his shoulders as both of you drifted off to sleep.

Your head was throbbing slightly when you woke up in the morning, you sat up rubbing your temple. You noticed the clothes from last night were neatly placed on his desk chair, the shirt you were wearing now was his, soft cotton clinging against your skin. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, you stretched as your body ached in places you weren't sure could ache. Jay wasn't beside you so you got up, intending to head to your room to get freshened up.

As you neared the kitchen, you heard hushed voices coming from inside. Your steps halted as you heard Sunghoon's voice followed by Jay's. You weren't sure what they were talking about since their voice was low, and your heart raced as you thought about Sunghoon. It wasn't like you and Sunghoon were exclusive but with everything happening between you three, you felt like it was your responsibility to be transparent with him. You quietly made your way forward but stopped when you reached the entrance of the kitchen.

Jay was standing near the stove, with his side facing towards you. Three cups of coffee sat on the kitchen counter, the steam curling into the air. Sunghoon was standing in front of him, close enough that his chest brushed against Jay's with every breath he took.

Sunghoon's head was tilted slightly, eyes staring into Jay's like he was trying to read something Jay wasn't speaking. His hand gripped Jay's hand firmly and Jay didn't move, didn't lean away. He just looked back at Sunghoon, shoulders tensed and jaw tight.

For a moment neither of them noticed your presence, and you leaned against the doorframe, actually enjoying the view in front of you. Jay squeezed Sunghoon's hand, a very subtle movement, but you noticed it nonetheless. After a second, Jay leaned away, followed by Sunghoon, but he still held onto Jay's hand like he wasn't ready to let go of him yet. It was Jay who noticed you first when he moved, eyes flickering with surprise to see you standing there.

Sunghoon followed his gaze, and that's when he finally noticed you, leaning against the doorframe in Jay's shirt, eyes sharp despite the sleep clinging to you as you looked at him. You smiled slowly, brows lifting in amusement, “well,” you smirked, voice carrying a teasing glint, “am I interrupting something?”

Jay glanced at Sunghoon for a moment but neither of them spoke. Sunghoon's grip on Jay's hand loosened and Jay took it as a sign to step back, hands curling around his own mug. He walked few steps towards you, “we were just-”

“You were just what?” You questioned, watching him with a teasing glint behind your eyes, you didn't fail to notice the way Jay's ears were flushed, “talking? Or were you sharing a moment?” Sunghoon leaned against the kitchen counter, an amused smile etching up on his face, “something like that.”

Jay shot him a glance then his eyes landed back on you, “the coffee's ready, I'll go take a shower.” You nodded, making your way inside the kitchen just as Jay gave your cheek a brief kiss and left the kitchen.

It was only you and Sunghoon in the kitchen now, the air around you suddenly felt thick with unspoken things. You turned towards the counter, sipping your coffee just to distract yourself. As you sipped your coffee, you felt him behind you. He didn't make any noise when he moved, but there he was, standing behind you, his chest warm against your back. He brushed your hair to the side, leaning close to your ears, “slept well sweetheart?” You nodded slowly, “yeah, very well.”

His hands circled around your waist, fingers clutching around Jay's shirt, “hmm,” he hummed, placing his chin on your shoulder, “I hope he didn't wear you out too much, you always complain about pain afterwards.” Your breath hitched at his words, but he sounded amused rather than angry.

You turned around to face him, your back was now pressing against the counter as you held his biceps. Sunghoon looked into your eyes for a second too long as if he was memorizing the way you looked in that moment.

Then he leaned in, connecting his lips to yours in a gentle embrace. His kiss wasn't rushed, it wasn't needy, he kissed you like he needed to do so to ground himself, like tasting you would steady something inside him. His hands cradled your jaw, tilting it so he could kiss you better, your hands travelled to his shoulders as you kissed him back.

He pulled away from the kiss just to press a kiss against your neck. His tongue gently grazed the sensitive bruise Jay left on you last night, then he shifted a bit to suck in a new mark right beside Jay's.

“Sunghoon,” you moaned as you tilted your neck, and he hummed, finally pulling away. His hands found your waist, then he lifted you to place you on the counter behind you. He slotted himself between your thighs, pulling you closer till your lower bodies touched.

“You aren't wearing anything underneath,” he mumbled as Jay's shirt rode up from your thighs. You didn't answer, didn't have to, he leaned in, adjusting the shirt properly as he kissed you again.

He could feel your heartbeat racing against him as you kissed him back, he bit your lips before pulling away, not before giving you a gentle peck. He kissed your cheeks, your nose, your eyes, your forehead, each kiss deliberate and intentional. Each kiss made your chest tightened. One of his hands rested on your lower back, while the other rubbed your back as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Breathe,” he murmured against your temple, “everything's fine.” You nodded, trembling in his hold as you felt overwhelmed with feelings. He cupped your face, looking into your eyes, “you don't need to explain anything.” You blinked up at him, brows creasing in confusion, “what do you mean?” The corners of his lips twisted up slightly as his thumbs caressed your cheeks, “I knew something happened when I didn't find you in your room, and then Jay confirmed everything.”

You swallowed hard, mouth parting to say something but you couldn't find any words to explain, you weren't even sure what to say, “you know Jay and I don't do secrets right?” You nodded, gripping on his hoodie to keep your hands busy, “I'm not jealous of Jay, I never was and I also never thought whatever this was going on between us was about choosing.” You sighed, nuzzling your head in his chest. “I think that a part of me always knew it wouldn't just be one of us, and I also knew you were aware of it too.”

He tilted your head up, kissing the bridge of your nose, “I know you're not mine, and I'm not asking you to be if you don't want to. But if this is something that can hold all of us, me, you and him, then I'll confess that I don't wanna go anywhere else.” You closed your eyes for a second, breathing deeply to ease the ache that had bloomed inside your chest at his words.

“I don't want to break the bond you share with Jay,” your voice cracked as a single tear escaped your eyes. He wiped it, “you aren't,” he hugged you tightly, “in fact, it's because of you that things have gotten better between him and I.”

You were napping peacefully in your room when you heard Sunghoon and Jay bickering in the living room. You frowned, making your way towards them, rubbing sleep off your eyes. “Give that remote to me now, I'm not even kidding I'll jump on you,” Jay's voice made you reach the room fast.

“No, we are not watching your sad documentaries again, everyone cries after, I am not planning on crying today.” Jay blinked, his outstretched hand falling on his hips instead, “those aren't sad, they are crime documentaries.”

“Exactly, it's sad that people die,” Sunghoon shook his head, hiding the remote behind him. “That doesn't even make sense,” Jay grumbled, making his way towards Sunghoon. “Guys,” you called out, making your way near them, “don't start again.” You told Sunghoon to sit down beside you on the couch, while Jay sat on the floor beside your legs, leaning his head against your lap.

“I don't want to watch a crime documentary,” Sunghoon grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. You took the remote from him when Jay retorted back, “and I don't want to watch another stupid dating show where everyone is shirtless for some reason.”

You sighed, rubbing your temple, “we are watching neither of those, think of something else.” Jay groaned against your thigh but didn't question further. Sunghoon nodded thinking about something, “let's play some card games in my room then we will decide or watch something all three of us will enjoy.”

Both of you agreed and Sunghoon got up, stretching his arms above his head, the hem of his shirt rode up a little, giving both you and Jay a glimpse of his skin. Sunghoon smirked watching both of you, knowing full well the effect he had, “I'm heading to my room, don't take too long.”

Both of your eyes followed Sunghoon till he was out of your sight then your head snapped towards Jay who was still looking at the direction Sunghoon went, “he's gone Jay, close your mouth.” Jay closed his mouth, brows arching as he stumbled on his words to defend himself, “I wasn't watching him.” You smirked, not buying his act, “sure thing.”

Jay groaned, trying to distract himself when his eyes landed on a candy placed on the table. He reached for it, ripping off the wrapper. “Don't,” you called out, as you reached for the candy in his hands and he pulled it away from your reach, “Jay, I left to eat it afterwards and forgot, don't play with me, it's mine.” Jay smirked, and teasing glint in his eyes.

“You were teasing me earlier, think of this as your punishment,” he dropped the candy in his mouth. You were leaning down from where you were sitting on the couch and Jay was looking at you from the floor with that shit eating grin of his. You wanted to rip the grin off, “I told you I wanted to eat it,” you whined and he just poked his tongue out. Your lips twitched as you watched him lick his lips slowly to provoke you further and you scoffed before holding his face in your hands and connecting your lips with his.

Jay gasped against your lips, hands moving up your body to settle against your neck as he pulled you close to deepen the kiss. You moaned, pulling his hair as you tilted your head to kiss him better, the taste of the candy felt too sweet mixed with his saliva. You pushed your tongue into his mouth, and a low groan escaped his throat as he let you do as you pleased.

Your tongue explored his mouth, tracing every single crook of his mouth when your tongue found the exact thing you were looking for. In a swift motion, you rolled the candy from his mouth to yours with your tongue, then you pulled away, wiggling your eyes at Jay who just looked at you dazed.

You opened your mouth to show him the candy he took earlier in your mouth and he gasped, “did, did you just?” He couldn't even finish, too bewildered to form a proper sentence, he could feel himself get hard just by your sheer audacity to do something like that. “Hmm,” you moaned, leaning towards him again, “the candy tastes sweeter mixed with you.”

Jay opened his mouth to say something but stopped as he watched you lean back on the couch with a smug expression as you maintained eye contact with him. Jay's graze drifted, slow and intentional to the loose strands that fell on your face, to the faintest freckles on your skin, to the way your eyes stared back at him with the same intensity as if you knew what was going in his head and suddenly he was back on the first class of first semester, when you sat beside him.

He didn't even know your name at that time, and he only looked at you because your shoulder brushed against his when you were getting comfortable on your seat, his nose briefly catching the sweet scent coming off your sweater. You looked around the room like you were trying to soak in your surroundings, biting your lips with a half nervous half excited smile and then you turned to him.

“Hello!” You greeted, a little breathless, laced with awkward energy. He snapped out of his trance, clearing his throat. “Hi,” he breathed out after a second too long. You smiled wider, and just like that Jay felt his heart skip a beat, not in a dramatic way but just enough to know that you had some type of effect on him.

He looked away soon after that realization dawned upon him, then quickly glanced back at you to check if you were actually real. The lecture started, the professor introduced himself and the syllabus, and you didn't even spare him a second glance but Jay couldn't focus on the lecture enough to take proper notes.

He learned your name by the end of the lecture, by the second week he learned how passionate you are about your major and by the time the end semester exams rolled in he knew your name's gonna be at the top of every score sheets.

You always asked the right questions in the class which left everyone else stunned. You always turned up each of your assignments on time, never lagging behind. The professors used your work as an example to teach other students how it should be done. You were sharp, articulate, focused with your academics but you were also friendly, a little smug but always ready to help when someone asked nicely.

And Jay, he was always one step behind you, and he didn't even hate it. Because every time his name was mentioned alongside you, he would feel weirdly proud of himself. He told himself it was just admiration, but who was he kidding?

Then the night happened, after the exams of second semester. Jay was sick, he skipped the party. He was making himself a cup of tea to feel better when he heard the door of his apartment creaking open past 03:00 AM. Sunghoon entered the kitchen, the top few buttons of his shirt tugged open.

Jay's eyes lingered on the bruises on his neck, fresh angry red marks turning purple in their wake. Jay sighed, his chest tightening at the sight, “another one?” Sunghoon blinked at him, not expecting him to be up at this hour, “why are you up?”

Jay leaned against the kitchen counter, “wanted to drink tea,” his eyes fell back on his marks, “well…who was it this time?" He asked, his voice casual as if he didn't feel like watching Sunghoon with someone else didn't hurt him. Sunghoon grabbed the glass of water and took a long sip before he answered, “the girl from your major, you know her, the one you always complain about being one step ahead of you.”

Jay blinked and your name fell out of Sunghoon's mouth like it meant nothing. Jay didn't say anything, just nodded his head like he did all the time when Sunghoon slept with someone else. But when he went back into his room, he knew something had already shifted.

Two weeks after that incident, he heard your name from Sunghoon's lips again, which was a shocker because Sunghoon never hooked up twice with the same person. Then your name kept popping up in passing after that, you weren't just a one time thing anymore. And Jay told himself it didn't matter, that you and Sunghoon hooking up didn't bother him at all.

You were always one step ahead of him, be it answering a complicated question which he knew the answer to but couldn't think fast enough, be it everyone praising your achievements before paying attention to him, or be it you because somehow you managed to get Sunghoon first too.

Jay couldn't figure out what struck him more, watching Sunghoon get you first, missing his chance to do so himself, or realizing that he wasn't sure who he wanted more, Sunghoon or you. Sunghoon who had been with him since forever, the one Jay shared a heated kiss with at a friend's birthday party and ran away in denial instead of owning up to his feelings.

Jay always hated Sunghoon's ability to be so casual about it as if kissing your best friend wasn't a big deal.

And you, who had always unintentionally challenged him to do better, the one person he felt a connection with after avoiding his feelings for Sunghoon like a plague.

Jay hated that you never looked at him the way you did with Sunghoon. Even when he wasn't in your major, even when Sunghoon never glanced your way. Because Jay did, he always looked at you, even more so when your eyes would be trained on his best friend instead.

Jay couldn't figure out who he envied more, the way Sunghoon would touch you like he owned you or the way you'd lean into his touch like you belonged to him. And he just watched you both, trying to understand his feelings and not break any relations in the process.

“Jay,” your voice called him back in the present, he blinked a couple of times before he turned his head across the room, only to find you already near the hallway, “aren't you coming? Sunghoon is waiting.” Jay sighed, running a hand through his hair before standing up and making his way towards you.

He pushed you against the wall, leaning down to place a slow and deep kiss against your lips. You gasped but kissed him back with same intensity and he groaned, squeezing your waist to check if all of this is actually real. It is. He pulled away, resting his forehead on yours briefly before holding your hand to drag you into Sunghoon's room.

“I told you not to take too long to come,” Sunghoon grumbled but Jay just grinned, pecking his lips lightly before mumbling a sheepish, “my bad, but I'm here now.” Sunghoon's eyes widened as he looked at you, and you just shrugged, joining them on the bed as Sunghoon started splitting the cards.

“What's up with him?” Sunghoon questioned you in a low voice, “I don't know, you tell me.” And Jay just sat leaned against the headboard, watching you both with a content smile etched upon his face, he was right where he wanted to be.

“Sunghoon?” You called out as you peeked into his room, the end semester exams had ended and Jay was taking his well deserved nap when Sunghoon messaged you to come into his room. He looked up at you from where he was scrolling his phone on the sofa, beside the window. As soon as you were within his reach, he pulled you into his lap, mouth tracing your throat without uttering a single word. You tilted your head back to give him more access as he greedily sucked marks on your skin.

“I've been so stressed with the exams,” he murmured against your skin, hands cupping your tits as he bit them through the fabric of your shirt. You moaned, arching your back. “Help me destress,” he spoke, taking off his t-shirt and then pulling yours off. He looked at you for a second, as if he was taking you in, then his head dipped low on your chest, sucking on your nipple.

You let him set his own pace, and you weren't even sure how long he just kept toying with your boobs, sucking the soft flesh, licking and biting. He pulled away to capture your lips, cupping your face as he rocked his up into yours. “fuck, Sunghoon,” you whined and he moaned against your mouth, he shifted you on the sofa so you were laying flat against it and removed the remaining clothes from your body.

He positioned both of your legs over his shoulders, burying his face in between your legs. He set a relentless pace from the start, not easing you into the pleasure, he licked your folds like he was starving since ages, wet, slurping sounds echoing through the room aside from your moans. He groaned against your slit, sending jolts of pleasure in your core, his nose rubbing against your clit. “I'm cumming,” you warned as you felt your orgasm wash over you, his grip on your thighs tightened as he licked you clean.

He gently lifted your legs off his shoulders and placed them on the sofa as he sat up, licking his bottom lips. He wiped the wetness from his chin with the back of his hand as he watched you come down from your high. His hands were on your ankle, massaging the area softly. You frowned, raising your eyebrows at him. You knew he wasn't the type to just wait around before fucking you senseless, so him taking his time instead of just pushing into you was new.

“What's going on in your head?” You questioned, propping yourself on your elbows. He just smiled sheepishly at you, not even trying to hide the mischievous glint behind his eyes, not even arguing about his intentions. “You're scaring me,” you frowned, sitting up, to which he automatically lifted you up so you were sitting on his lap instead. He chuckled, burying his head on your shoulder, tracing small patterns on your sides.

“I want to try something with you,” he mumbled in a low voice. “Try something? What are you planning?” You ran your fingers through his hair. He sighed, pulling you closer and enveloping you in a hug, “I want to blind fold you.”

His words raised goosebumps against your skin, you do remember sharing about trying blind folding with him but the moment never came. But you could already feel yourself getting wet at the mention of blind folding. You always wondered about it, not being able to see but only feel. “Are you okay with it?” Sunghoon's voice brought you back from your thoughts.

You nodded a quiet yes at him and he smiled, getting up while still holding you in his arms and making his way towards the bed. Sunghoon hovered above you, placing gentle kisses across your face, “I knew blind folded sex was your idea but I wanted to add a little something of mine too.”

He got out of the bed and you watched him rummage through his drawers before pulling out a satin blindfold and then pulling out two ropes. Your eyes widened at the insinuation, “blindfold…and ropes?” He nodded, placing the items beside you. He sat close to you, drawing small patterns against your stomach, “if that's okay with you,” he looked up at you, “we don't have to do this if you're not okay.” You smiled at his words, with all the time you'd spend with him, there wasn't a single instance where he did something without your permission so you trusted him.

“It's okay, let's do it.” He smiled at your words, prepping your face with little kisses as he thanked you for agreeing. You just laughed, cupping his face to kiss him properly.

He broke the kiss, tying the ropes on different ends of the headboard. You watched him curiously, then he turned towards you, taking your right hand and kissing your wrist before tying it, not too tight that it would hurt but firm enough so you wouldn't be able to free yourself. He repeated the same steps with your left hand.

“Try to move your hand, tell me if it's uncomfortable,” you did as he asked, giving him an okay signal when you were sure it wasn't causing you discomfort. He grinned, kissing your forehead and eyes before he finally placed the blindfold. “It isn't too tight right?” He questioned and you suppressed your urge to coo at his words, for someone who wanted to deprive you of your sensations, he sure was being a little softie.

“Everything is fine, Hoon.” He nodded solemnly, and then you felt the weight on the bed shift. You gulped, anticipating his next move. “Sunghoon?” You called out when you couldn't feel his weight on the bed, nor hear his footsteps due to the rug on his floor. You didn't get an answer quick enough, and your heart beat started racing in excitement as well as worry.

“I'm here sweetheart,” his voice was near now, just beside the bed. You felt the bed dip beside you, “okay, I thought you left me alone.” He chuckled at your pouty lips, “why would I leave you alone when I got you like this?”

The darkness surrounding you only heightened everything, your breathing, the soft hum of the AC, his movements against the bed, and the tension that you felt inside you with each passing second. You felt his fingers skim against your collarbone, then your sternum and your waist.

His movements were light and deliberate, he didn't touch you fully. You felt your breath hitch when his fingers travelled down, gently putting pressure on your lower stomach. “Breathe,” you heard him whisper, calm and soothing, “you're doing okay.”

He continued exploring your body, this time going lower. He held your knees, palms sliding to your inner thighs to pry them open. Your lips parted, the cool air brushed against your wet folds, a shuddered breath escaping your lips as the hands began travelling towards your core.

The moment his fingers parted your folds, and he adjusted his position between your legs, it hit you. The shape of his hands, the scent, the body slotted between your legs. Your pulse spiked, body tensing instinctively as you dug your feet into the bed.

“Jay?” You wondered, breath shaking in confusion, you heard Sunghoon's voice, now closer, “Jay?” He mirrored you, “why are you calling out his name, sweetheart?” You held the rope tightly in your hands, one of the legs moving up to trace the back of the man who was settled in between your legs, “I'm calling him out cause he's literally here, what else?”

You could hear Sunghoon clicking his tongue in amusement, “I wanted to see how you fall apart under him, under both of us, is that fine with you?” You felt the bed shift again, and Sunghoon's words just confirmed your doubts. You could feel heat rush up your body at the thought of both of them being there with you.

You opened your mouth to say something when Jay's head dipped low to lick a long stripe against your folds. He groaned, already tasting the wetness that pooled between your legs at the mention of both of them having their ways with you. “She's enjoying it, Hoon.” You heard Jay mumble against you as he started licking on your pussy.

“Told you she would, I know her very well, none of her fantasies are hidden from me,” Sunghoon chuckled, gently removing hair that fell on your face and neck before placing kisses across your chest.

“Jay..” you breathed out when you felt him ease his fingers inside you, pumping it in and out of you in deliberate motions as his tongue sucked your sensitive nub. “Yes sweetheart, be a good girl for us, you sound so good.” Sunghoon licked up your neck, hands squeezing and toying with your boobs to enhance the pleasure. Your back arched off the bed, and Jay's free hand held your waist to keep you from moving too much. “Sunghoon,” you cried out when he pinched your nipples, “I'm close.”

Jay added another finger inside you, curling them just the way he knew would make you reach your high fast. Your stomach coiled with the familiar sensation, and Sunghoon captured your mouth with his to drink up your noises as your orgasm washed over you. Jay continued to lick up your juices, fingers still moving inside you to help you ride out your orgasm. Then you felt both of them shift and you suddenly felt the ropes around your hands being removed.

You could feel Sunghoon massaging the area that had reddened a bit due to your constant pulling, when you reached up to remove the blindfold, a firm hand stopped you, Jay. “Princess, did we say you're allowed to take that off?”

You froze, but then slowly shook your head no. You could feel Jay slip his hand at the back of your neck and pull you to sit up, sliding behind you to lean against the headboard, he pulled you against his chest. He moved you and placed his chin on your shoulder, he circled his arms around you and you immediately held his forearms, wanting to feel him to ground yourself in the moment. You sighed, leaning against him as he moved your head to the side to kiss you.

You felt another pair of hands pull you away from Jay's embrace and he flipped you on your stomach, adjusting your hips. “Shit, you look so hot like this,” Sunghoon muttered, and you felt his cock glide against your folds, collecting your wetness on his. You moaned, propping yourself on your hands as you back arched when he started pushing inside you.

Jay moved you so your hands were resting beside his hips, his cock slapping against your jaw as he adjusted himself. You felt Sunghoon slap your ass once, bottoming out inside you in one swift motion after your orgasm, “make Jay feel good while I pleasure you sweets, you don't want him to feel left out right?”

“No,” you mumbled, sliding your hands up Jay's thighs to hold his cock, stroking it a few times. You heard Jay moaned, hands reaching out to gather your hair in a ponytail. You took him into your mouth, sucking on his tips a couple of times before taking him fully till he hit the back of your throat.

Jay groaned, tightening his hold on your hair as Sunghoon started moving. Each of Sunghoon's thrust forced Jay's cock deep inside your mouth. Sunghoon picked up his pace, hands grabbing on your hips with a vice-like grip, and you continued to bob your head, drool sliding off from the corner of your mouth to Jay's thighs.

Sunghoon felt your walls clench around him, and he moaned, throwing his head back, picking up his pace to chase his high. The wet sounds of skin slapping skin and the sound of your gagging filled up the air, sweating dripping off your head.

“I'm so close princess, swallow it please?” you groaned against his cock, eyes rolling with the way Sunghoon was drilling his cock into you. Jay came inside your mouth, your name falling from his lips like prayer. You released him from your mouth and swallowed it all, licking your lips to not let a drop go to waste.

Sunghoon's hand slid up to wrap around your neck, pulling you up, while his other hand held your waist to support. You held both of his hands with yours as he continued to drill his cock into you, moaning right into your ear, heavy breath fanning against your sensitive skin.

Jay reached towards you, yanking off your blindfold and you blinked a couple of times to get used to the sudden brightness, “fuck, you look so beautiful.” You felt Sunghoon slow down his movements for a bit, and thrust into you deep and slow.

Jay's eyes were glossed as he looked at you. One of his hands cradled your face, leaning closer to wrap you in a searing kiss while his other hand travelled down your body to rub your clit. Your body jolted at his touch and Sunghoon picked up his pace, slamming his hips against yours with more intensity. “She's clenching around me so tight, Jay.” You held Jay's shoulders for support as he distracted you with a kiss. You pulled back, throwing your head back against Sunghoon's shoulder, “it's too much.”

Jay's lips grazed your neck, sucking marks on your skin with purpose. Sunghoon dipped his head and kissed your shoulder, tongue dragging against your skin as if he couldn't get enough of the taste of you. Their mouths worked on your body in rhythm, like they were mapping you out together. Jay's kisses trailed down your neck, and your fingers dug in his skin as you felt your orgasm on the brink of exploding. Your body arched into Jay's and then Sunghoon released his hold from your neck, making you gasp.

Sunghoon shifted without disturbing the pace he had set against you, still slamming inside you with reckless abandon. You felt the shift before you saw it, the way Jay's body went rigid for a moment under your hold, the way his hands trembled against your pussy before he continued his movements.

You turned your head, dazed, and saw Sunghoon's mouth pressed against Jay's, his hand cradling the back of Jay's neck. Jay didn't resist, instead his lips moved against Sunghoon's with the same amount of desperation. You could feel the heat of it all, the messy kiss, the way Sunghoon's tongue slipped past Jay's lips and that sight was enough for your orgasm to crash over you with so much intensity, you saw white.

Jay pulled back from the kiss as he felt his hands get wet by your release, he didn't stop, still rubbing circles around your clit as he looked at Sunghoon, who was still pistoning his hips, “she soaked my hands, Hoon, fuck you're perfect.” You whined, and Sunghoon looked away from Jay and towards you, who was almost slumping against Jay's body, trembling.

You held Jay's hand and the way you clenched around Sunghoon was enough for him to reach his own high, spurting his cum inside you as he rode out his high. His movements stopped, still buried deep in you and Jay rubbed your back, calming you down.

You lifted your head, still gasping slightly when you felt the heat of Sunghoon's gaze on your face, his lips parted a little, he looked at you like he needed your assurance that what just happened wasn't just okay, but right. You held his jaw, pulling him closer to guide his mouth on yours.

Jay's hand roamed against your body, cupping your breasts, his cock grinded against your slit, occasionally rubbing against Sunghoon's dick and you felt his dick get hard once again inside you. You whined, pulling Jay for a kiss and he swallowed your little sounds, before breaking the kiss.

Your body was still trembling, and oversensitive when Jay guided you towards him, making Sunghoon's cock slip out of you, the sudden emptiness making you whimper. Jay's hand cradled your head as he laid you down on the bed. “Just lay there all pretty for me,” he said softly. You nodded, legs falling open with a slow, unconscious ease.

Jay settled in between, his hands drawing small patterns on the soft skin of your thighs. He leaned down to kiss the center of your chest, feeling the erratic rhythm of your heart on his lips. Behind him, Sunghoon moved closer, positioning himself behind Jay.

Your eyes met Sunghoon's, with a soft nod, you pushed Jay away from your body and Sunghoon leaned down to kiss his shoulder. You saw the way Jay tensed for a quick second, a flash of uncertainty flashing behind his eyes, but he didn't move away. His eyes found yours, and he clutched your hand which was placed on his torso as he tilted his head to give Sunghoon more access to his skin. You smiled, rubbing small circles against Jay's skin to ease his thoughts.

Jay's eyes were filled with raw hunger as he looked at you, breathing shallow, “I want to feel you, and him.” You nodded, signalling him to come closer with your index finger. Jay leaned down, kissing you with desperation as he slid his cock inside you. Sunghoon's hands rested on his hips to guide him slowly. Jay broke the kiss to bury his face in your neck, feeling overwhelmed as he started moving his hips into you, “fuck, you feel so unreal.”

Behind him, Sunghoon saw the way your eyebrows creased, and his eyes locked with yours over Jay's shoulder, lips parted like he could feel what you and Jay were feeling just by watching you two. Sunghoon's hand slid up from Jay's spine, fingers curling around Jay's neck. “Look at her,” he pulled Jay away from your neck, “she's falling apart once again.” Jay looked at you, the sight of you so undone beneath him made him thrust deeper into you, jaw tight.

Jay's movements into you were slow and deliberate, and Sunghoon rubbed his sides, anchoring him. Sunghoon let his hand slide lower, stop near Jay's hole which made Jay stop mid thrust, head falling over your shoulder. “Is this okay?” Sunghoon questioned, Jay didn't answer right away, instead he looked at you, so vulnerable, you cupped his face, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, “let him.” A groan left his mouth and he nodded against your skin.

You smiled at Sunghoon as he shifted to get lube from the drawer, squirting a generous amount on his hands and splayed it around Jay's hole, and Jay tensed all over again as Sunghoon lined himself against Jay. Sunghoon adjusted his angle, nudging his thighs open a bit. Jay sucked in a breath, fingers gripping on the sheets beside your head as Sunghoon pushed himself inside him, slow and careful.

Jay's face was flushed as Sunghoon allowed him to adjust to his size, groaning at the tightness that wrapped around him.

Sunghoon's hand grabbed Jay's waist, as he began moving his hips into him, fucking into him with deep and precise thrusts. Jay moaned openly now, hips rolling against you with the rhythm Sunghoon was fucking him into.

They increased the pace slowly, and your walls clenched around Jay. Sunghoon's gaze flickered down to where all three of you were connected. “You're so perfect,” he growled, brows creased, “both of you, look at the mess you made.”

You whimpered as Jay's thrusted, you could feel him getting close, his body tensed, movements losing the rhythm to chase his pleasure. “Jay-” you breathed, hands cupping his face as you felt your orgasm approach fast and hard. “I can't-” Jay gasped, choking on his words as Sunghoon thrust harder, gripping on Jay's shoulder to steady himself. “I'm close, I'm so close, Hoon,” he mumbled, his own movements sloppy as he thrust into you.

You came around Jay's cock, your body locking around Jay as you cried with overstimulation. The clenching of your walls around him because of your orgasm pushed Jay into the edge as he came inside you, body jerking hard as he twitched inside you. Sunghoon followed a second later, slamming into Jay with a guttural moan, his trembling as he spilled inside him, his forehead dropping on Jay's shoulder. The three of you stayed like that for a while, utterly undone, gasping for air, still shaking with the aftermath.

Jay collapsed next to you, and you whimpered at the empty feeling. Sunghoon laid down on your other side, pulling your body closer to his. Jay rolled towards you both, tangling his leg with yours and he draped his hand over your waist. “I didn't know it would feel this amazing,” Jay whispered against your temple and Sunghoon intertwined his fingers with Jay over your waist, “I know right.”

After a while, Jay let out a small sigh as he rolled out of the bed, “feels too sticky, I'll get something to clean up.” Sunghoon moved at the same time, swinging his legs off the bed with more ease than Jay's, “stay here sweetheart, I'll go help.”

Jay came out of the bathroom with a warm towel, as Sunghoon entered after him. He approached you, his hands warm and steady as he gently cleaned between your thighs. “Too much?” He asked as your thighs trembled. You shook your head, biting your lips as he kept on cleaning your sensitive area, “just sore….but I'll be okay.”

“Tell me if you're ever not,” he mumbled as he was done cleaning you up. He carried you in his arms as Sunghoon brought a new bedsheet to drape over the bed and discard the old into the laundry basket. You held onto Jay's shoulder waiting for Sunghoon to be done.

Jay laid you down on the bed, climbing beside you and Sunghoon followed suit, guiding a glass of water against your lips to hydrate you. Jay put on his boxers, and helped you with Sunghoon's t-shirt. Sunghoon wore his own boxers, stroking your head gently, “shower or bed?” You sighed, thinking about both the options. A shower would feel nice, but your body feels too tired.

Jay kissed your head, “maybe we can sleep for now and shower later?” You nodded, nuzzling in their embrace as they laid down beside you, “I don't want to move.” Sunghoon draped the blanket over three of you, “then don't move.” Your bodies were sore, you still needed a good shower, but all of that didn't matter for now. And as Jay nuzzled his head in your neck and Sunghoon draped his hands across your waist, you thought this is what being loved might feel like.

“Sweetheart,” Sunghoon called out after a while, you hummed, signalling him that you were listening, “did you know Jay didn't talk with me for 2 whole months after he kissed me?” You felt Jay tense beside you, then he slowly lifted his head to glare at Sunghoon. “Seriously?” He squinted his eyes, “you're going to tell her about that?” Sunghoon just smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at Jay, “she already knows, I literally never hide anything from both of you.” Jay snickered, throwing a pillow on his face but he dodged it, “I was just scared okay?”

“So scared that he literally tiptoed around me for months, still in denial. Did you know, it was me who went back to him and told him to forget everything and start anew,” you cupped Sunghoon's face in mock concern, “poor baby.” Jay scoffed, pulling you closer to him, “okay, I was a dick for being in denial for so long, my bad, I'm sorry.”

You laughed, and Sunghoon rolled his eyes, nuzzling closer to you. “It's okay Sunghoon, Jay apologized, plus Jay always had been emotionally constipated so let him be,” Jay groaned against your neck, burying his head so he won't have to face both of you. “I know that sweetheart, didn't he do the same thing with you?”

Jay threw the pillow again, and this time it landed right on Sunghoon's face, which made you laugh out loud. Both of them stopped their actions to take a look at you, laughing freely in between them. Jay's eyes then found Sunghoon's and he nodded his head in a quiet understanding as both of them approached to tickle you.

Sunghoon's grin was wide and wicked as he mercilessly tickled your sides and Jay held your arms, helping him. You don't remember when you last laughed like this, so unfiltered, so unguarded, so safe.

Eventually, all of your laughter eased into soft giggles and gasps as you laid back on the bed, tangled up with each other once again. You stared up at the ceiling, the laughter slowly fading into silence, but it wasn't awkward, it was calm.

You don't exactly remember when things changed between the three of you, when the lingering tension melted into trust, or when hesitation turned into comfort, but it happened. And now here you were, sharing laughter with each other on the bed.

You smiled to yourself, eyes fluttering shut, their breaths even and unguarded beside you. And while you were surrounded by their warmth on either side, you felt like maybe this is the perfect ending, or maybe just the beginning.

[simjaeyunmss]

Insta stories with your bf Sunoo

In which ~ you and your bf are both sassy but love eachother at the same time and it really shows on your insta stories

~ insta stories with sunoo, nonidolxfem!reader, will be other member versions soon

Simjaeyunmss note: I am going to start making fics and other various posts like this so stay tuned! Likes, comments, reblogs and everything else is so greatly appreciated so thank you all for the support!

Thank you guys so much for the support from the first fic I posted I’m so grateful for everything and I really hope that you guys like this one too! Please leave comments for which member version u want next and any fics you want me to make! Thank you all so much!❤️❤️

[soltyshshs]

HE'S SO COZYYYYY. LEMME GIVE YOU A CUDDLE SIR! 🫣

Jake is so boyfriend coded!!

[flwrhui]

NOONA NEOMU YEPPEO pt 2 , juhoon x older!f!rdr

SYN . It's a well known joke in the group that Juhoon's got a thing for Martin's older sister. But when the time comes when your boyfriend actually starts slacking off, Juhoon wastes no time to swoop in and take his chances.

-> part one

✏️ . . . wait omg u guys absolutely ate the 1st part up ily??? i hope this pt wont disappoint lolll also guys pls tell me i ate w the ig stories cuz i had to edit them to look like he reposted her story 🤞🏻

✏️ . . . u guys down for pt 3? it's gonna b the last part m if so comment #goodluckjju cuz he's about to be a victim of yn n wonhee's evil duo agenda LOLLLL

cortis taglist . @taelvvrzz @en-dream @anniyahhh @hyuneskkami @toomanyfanficsbruh @maraaaa105 @wowbyselene @ges1ca @lillieepadd

taglist . @sue-me-i-wanna-be-wanted @wonheeloves @rumidemon @meiisamotherbitch @xolaufeyberry @kiwijinnieee @mershyjershy @oiosoobin @halheema @sillypicklepastaperson @shuuwifey @mimi-channn @444pondju @haneurin @mimiiixoo @ralphmaleee189 @mimismachineheart @petalsoflily09 @lowkeonho @kalliataki12 @ave-encoer @adorifieds @iluvjiwoong @beautifulpoetrygoate @wtvmusicistjeanswer @jene11 @ykvdani @miisoluvsdeer @floatingin-yourdreams @contactviaemail @wonniiz @skeeterbutt @nomnomnamjoon @elee1q @mattmeow @nemoihan @v3inesto @mrsmckinnon93 @bananabread785 @jjongsaengiie @bunnykao @mkissed

©️ flwrhui 2026

[flwrhui]

NOONA NEOMU YEPPEO pt 1 , juhoon x older!f!rdr

SYN . It's a well known joke in the group that Juhoon's got a thing for Martin's older sister. But when the time comes when your boyfriend actually starts slacking off, Juhoon wastes no time to swoop in and take his chances.

-> part two

✏️ ... whoop! my first ever juhoon fic lolz lemme know watchu think this is inspired by shinee's replay

✏️ .. part 2 any1? comment #teamjju to root for our man and get tagged for the 2nd part🤞🏻

cortis taglist . @taelvvrzz @en-dream @anniyahhh @hyuneskkami @toomanyfanficsbruh @maraaaa105 @wowbyselene

©️ flwrhui 2026

[enhypendata]

JUNGWON’s DM

[enhypendata]

JAKE’s DM

[dickeuu]

yo it's everywhere 😂😂😂😂🤤🤤🤤

[bellaflippy]

where the scent settles

pairing✧˖°. riki x (f) reader

synopsis✧˖°. you've spent your whole life depending on a stuffed bear that smells like amber and musk to sleep, so when he vanishes from your jacket at a laundromat, you unravel into twelve sleepless nights, panic attacks, and a shame you can't explain. when you finally find him in the pocket of a stranger's jacket, you discover that the boy wearing your coat smells exactly like home, and maybe you've been looking for the wrong kind of comfort all along.

contains✧˖°. severe insomnia & sleep depravation ; vomiting ; hallucinations ; panic attacks ; anxiety ;  attachment/dependency issues ; reader cries ALOT ; emotional dysregulation & distress ; angst ; fluff ; wc: 11.9k

notes✧˖°. okay... here's my big one! im not exactly sure if i like this because it does get very angsty and serious at times, but i tried to make a long story! so.. the stuffed animal is lowk based on one i have (sue me) i did make it a little more dramatic for the plot line, but yeah! i'll say it in the authors note, but guys PLEASE send me some sort of asks i beg!! it helps me stay motivated!! i hope you guys enjoy!! also @ptolemaeiia u asked to be tagged so here! (I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOUR STUFF IS SO BOMB BRO)

many people have 'a thing'.

something that helps them feel at ease when they're down, something that distracts them from the real world, or something that they just love.

your thing was your stuffed animal, as childish as it may sound.

bear. that's what his name was!

a winnie the pooh, rattle toy stuffed animal, with a white shirt from another animal, that has faded more and more yellow as time passed.

you've had this stuffed animal for years, and it was your favorite! so much to the point where you brought it everywhere when you were a kid.

doctors office? dentist? your sisters band concert? bear was there for all of it.

now, you had many stuffed animals, but none of them really ever clicked with you like how bear did.

bear was just different. it was something about his smell.

you would hold him up to your face and inhale and be brought immediate comfort.

it smelt like home.

lately, though, you had noticed you had to press your nose harder into his fur to find the smell. 

it was fading, slowly, like a photograph left in sunlight. you told yourself it was just because he was old, because you had washed him too many times, but the thought made your stomach tight. 

you couldn't remember when exactly the scent had started to thin, only that now you had to inhale twice as deep to get that same hit of comfort. 

you carried bear around all the time and kept him around all the time, all the way to your adulthood.

around your teenage years, you started to get embarrassed about bear.

it felt odd.. you felt immature.

everyone else around never had stuffed animals around 24/7. you'd go over to a friends house and the layout of their bed would be completely different. no stuffed animals anywhere.

it only got worse as you grew older.

people started caring less and less and less about their childhood toys, while you were still stuck.

you even tried to convince yourself at one point some random day in highschool.

"i don't need bear! i'm not even gonna sleep with him tonight" you thought to yourself.

you tried to sleep that night… keyword 'tried'

it was probably the worst sleep of your life. you couldn't sleep until 5 in the morning, and even when you did fall asleep, you'd stir yourself awake every 10 mins.

after that you gave up. 

you never bothered to tell anyone about bear, but it was just a little secret you had. you needed him in order to get any sort of comfort.

cut to now, you're an adult. living a full life, with lots of friends. bear still always by your side.

one day, it was laundry day.

living in the apartment you had, you didn't own a washer or dryer, you had to go to laundromat in order to wash anything.

you stand in front of your hamper and stare at it like it's a problem to be solved.

it's overflowing. socks are spilling over the side like they're trying to escape.

you've been putting this off for eleven days now, ever since you wore your last clean pair of jeans to that party at mayas and spilled wine on them.

you look down at your jacket, hanging on the hook by the door. bear is in there. he's always in there.

you grab the hamper with both hands and kick the door open with your foot, maneuvering down the narrow hallway of your building. 

the stairs creak under your weight. the third floor always feels higher when you're carrying three weeks of dirty clothes.

the laundromat is four blocks away. you walk there because the bus costs two fifty and you'd rather spend that on coffee. 

the autumn air is sharp enough to make your nose run, and you burrow deeper into your jacket, your hand finding the front pocket automatically.

bear is there. you can feel the soft bulk of him through the denim. your thumb traces the edge of his shirt, that faded yellow fabric that used to be bright white. 

you don't take him out. you never take him out in public anymore. but you know he's there.

the laundromat is called spin cycle, which you think is a stupid name but whatever. the bell above the door jingles when you push it open with your hip.

the smell hits you immediately. detergent and warm cotton and that particular steamy humidity that only exists in places where clothes are being dried. it smells like clean, which is different from how bear smells, but somehow related.

you set your hamper down in front of an empty washer near the back. 

number fourteen. you have a preference for the back machines. less chance of someone seeing you talk to your jacket pocket.

you sort your clothes with the efficiency of someone who's done this many times. darks in one pile, lights in another. you check pockets out of habit, even though you know exactly what's in yours.

your hand hesitates on the zipper of your jacket pocket.

you could take him out. just for a second. just to make sure he's okay before you put everything in the machine.

but the door opens behind you and an older woman comes in with a rolling cart, and you drop your hand like you've been caught.

you stuff your clothes into the machine instead. jeans first, then sweaters, then the delicates bag with your underwear because you're not brave enough to wash those in public view. 

you toss the detergent pod on top and shove four quarters into the slot.

the machine groans to life. water starts rushing in.

you stand there for a moment, watching your clothes disappear under the suds. 

your jacket is still on. you never take it off at the laundromat. the machines run hot and the room gets warm, but you keep it zipped up to your chin. bear stays close to your heart that way.

your phone buzzes in your actual pocket.

it's a text from your roommate, sarah. she needs you to pick up her prescription while you're out. she'll pay you back. she even adds three pleading emojis.

you sigh and look at the washer. it has thirty two minutes left on the cycle.

you could wait here. sit on the orange plastic chair and scroll through your phone and try not to think about how your jacket is starting to make you sweat.

or you could be productive.

you check the pocket one more time, patting the bulge that is bear. he's there. he's fine.

you walk out into the afternoon.

the pharmacy is two blocks north. you pass a coffee shop and smell espresso and almost stop, but sarah said urgent, so you keep walking. your hand stays in your jacket pocket the whole way, fingers wrapped around bears soft body.

the prescription pickup line is four people deep. you wait. you shift your weight from foot to foot. you think about your clothes spinning in circles back at the laundromat.

when it's your turn, you give sarahs name and date of birth. the pharmacist is slow. she types with one finger. you try not to tap your foot.

finally, you get the small white bag with sarahs name printed on it. you tuck it into your purse and head back out.

on the way back to the laundromat, you stop at the corner store for a bottle of water. the clerk knows you and waves. you wave back.

you're gone for twenty three minutes total.

when you push back through the door of spin cycle, the bell jingles again. the humidity hits your face.

your washer is still running. you can hear it churning, that wet slapping sound of clothes being beaten clean.

you sit down on the orange chair to wait. you pull out your phone. you scroll through instagram for four minutes. you watch a video of a cat falling off a counter.

then you get up to check the time left on your machine.

and you realize.

your jacket is gone.

you stand there staring at the orange chair where you were just sitting, and your jacket is not there. 

you left it there. you know you left it there. you always take it off when you sit, even for a second, because the heat is too much, and you draped it over the back of the chair, and now it's gone.

your heart starts beating in your throat.

you look around the laundromat like the jacket might have just fallen on the floor. like it slipped down behind the chair. like you're imagining things.

but it's not on the floor. it's not behind the chair. it's not on any of the other chairs or folded on the counter or hanging on the coat hook by the door.

someone took it.

or someone moved it.

you walk in a circle around the laundromat, checking every surface, every chair, every windowsill.

you stand in the middle of spin cycle laundromat and your washer beeps, signaling that the cycle is done, and you can't move.

your clothes are done.

your jacket is gone.

bear is gone.

you walk back to the orange chair and you sit down heavily. the plastic creaks under you. your hands are shaking so badly you have to press them between your knees to make them stop.

you try to think logically.

maybe someone moved it. maybe an employee put it somewhere. maybe it got mixed in with someone elses stuff by accident.

you get up and walk to the front counter. there's a girl there with blue hair and a nose ring, reading a paperback with a dragon on the cover. she looks up when you approach.

"hi," you say, and your voice sounds wrong. thin and shaky. 

"did anyone turn in a jacket? navy blue denim? oversized?"

she shakes her head. "not that i've seen. did you check the lost and found?"

you nod. you checked. it was just a sock and a hanger.

she gives you a sympathetic look. "sometimes people move stuff if it's in their way. check the other chairs?"

you already checked. you checked everywhere.

you walk back to the orange chair and sit down again. the washer has stopped beeping now. your clothes sit in the dark behind the glass, wet and heavy and waiting.

you should get them. you should transfer them to the dryer. you should finish your laundry like a normal person.

you can't get up.

your phone buzzes. it's sarah, texting to ask if you got her prescription. you stare at the screen and your thumbs hover over the keyboard but you can't think of what to type. you can't think of anything except the empty space where your jacket should be.

you start to cry.

you didn't mean to. 

you blink hard and press your palms against your eyes but the tears come anyway, hot and fast and embarrassing. you're twenty years old crying in a laundromat over a lost jacket. over a stuffed animal. over bear.

a woman folding towels nearby glances at you. you turn away and hide your face in your hands.

you stay like that for a long time.

eventually you force yourself to stand up. you wipe your face with your sleeve. 

you go to the washer and pull out your wet clothes and carry them to a dryer. you put in quarters you can barely see through your tears. you start the machine.

you sit back down on the orange chair.

you don't know what to do.

you think about calling the police, but what would you say? someone stole my jacket and inside the pocket was a winnie the pooh stuffed animal and i need it to sleep? 

they'd laugh. or worse, they wouldn't laugh. they'd look at you with that concerned expression that says they're wondering if you're safe to be around.

you think about going home without him.

the thought makes your chest tighten until you can't breathe. 

you put your head between your knees and count backwards from one hundred. you learned that in therapy sophomore year when the panic attacks got bad. it doesn't help much now.

the dryer hums.

you sit there and you wait for your clothes to be done and you try not to think about where bear is right now. 

if he's on the floor somewhere. if someone threw him away. if someone found him and is holding him and wondering why a grown woman carries a baby toy in her jacket pocket.

the shame burns hot in your throat.

but underneath it is something worse. something empty and cold. the knowledge that tonight you'll go home to your small apartment and you'll lie in your bed and you won't sleep.

you know this because you've tried to sleep without him before.

you remember junior year. the night at your grandmothers house. 

you'd been so careful all evening, checking your pocket every ten minutes, feeling the reassuring lump of him against your hip. but when you got home and reached in to pull him out for bed, your hand met only empty fabric.

you'd left him on your grandmothers couch. three hours away. three days before you could go back.

that first night without him, you lay in bed with your eyes wide open and stared at the ceiling until the sun came up. 

you counted sheep. you counted your breaths. you listened to every creak of the house settling, every car passing on the street outside, every beat of your own heart that seemed too loud and too fast.

you didn't sleep for one minute.

the second night was worse. your body ached with exhaustion but your mind wouldn't stop spinning. you got up and walked circles around your room at three am. 

you sat on the floor and pressed your face against your knees and rocked back and forth like a child.

by the third night you were hallucinating. shadows moved in the corners of your vision. sounds came from inside your walls. 

you'd tried to remember the smell exactly, sitting there in the dark at your grandmother's house, but you couldn't conjure it. 

you could remember that it was warm, that it was sweet like vanilla and something else, but the specific scent eluded you. it worried you more than the sleeplessness, that your brain couldn't hold onto something so essential. 

you called your grandmother at four in the morning crying so hard you couldn't make words.

you got him back on the fourth day. you slept for fourteen hours straight and woke up with his face pressed against your cheek and your pillow soaked with tears.

you can't do that again.

but you don't know how to fix this.

the dryer stops.

you sit there for five more minutes before you get up and pull out your warm clothes. you fold them mechanically. shirts first, then pants, then socks matched into pairs. you put them in your hamper.

you carry the hamper home through the darkening streets.

the autumn air bites at your cheeks. you didn't realize how late it'd gotten. the streetlights are on now, orange and humming.

you walk up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. sarah is home. she's making pasta in the kitchen and she looks up when you come in.

sarah sees the expression on your face, hers immediately becoming concerned. "are you.. okay?" she asks cautiously.

you nod and pull the white bag from your purse and hand it to her. "fine," you say. "i'm just tired."

she takes the bag but she doesn't look away from you. "you don't look fine," she says. "you look like you've been crying."

you turn away and hang your keys on the hook by the door. "i'm fine," you say again, but your voice cracks on the second word.

"hey," she says, softer now. she puts down the wooden spoon she was holding and comes over to you. "what happened? did something happen at the laundromat?"

you shake your head. you can't talk about it. if you try to explain you'll start crying again and you don't think you'll ever stop.

"i just need to lay down," you say.

sarah reaches out and touches your arm. "are you sure? you can talk to me, you know. whatever it is."

you nod and pull away gently. "i'm sure," you say. "just tired."

you go to your room and close the door.

you sit on your bed and you look at the empty jacket hook by the door.

you lie down on top of your covers still wearing your shoes.

you stare at the ceiling.

you wait.

the first night is exactly as bad as you remember.

you lie there with your eyes open and your hands clenched into fists at your sides. you try to slow your breathing. you try to relax your jaw. you try to think about nothing.

but your brain won't turn off. it keeps circling back to the same thought. bear is gone. bear is gone. bear is gone.

you get up at midnight and search your room again. under the bed. in the closet. in your laundry hamper even though you know you already checked. you go to the living room and look behind the couch cushions. you check the bathroom, the kitchen, the hallway outside your door.

you know he's not there. you knew before you looked. but you can't stop yourself from checking.

by two am you're back in bed and your heart is racing like you've been running. you press your hand against your chest and feel it thumping against your ribs.

you don't sleep.

the sun comes up and you haven't closed your eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. your body feels wired and heavy at the same time. your eyes burn. your head aches in a low constant throb behind your temples.

sarah knocks on your door at eight. "i'm heading to class," she calls through the wood. "are you up?"

you don't answer. you can't make your voice work.

you hear her hesitate. "y/n?" she calls again. "you in there?"

"i'm sick," you manage. your voice sounds like gravel. "calling in sick."

there's a pause. "do you need anything?"

you close your eyes and shake your head even though she can't see you. "no," you say. "just sleep."

you hear her walk away.

you spend the day in a fog. you lie on the couch and stare at the wall. sarah comes back at four and finds you there in the same position she left you.

she sets her bag down and comes over to you. "you still haven't slept?" she asks.

you don't answer.

she sits down on the edge of the couch and puts her hand on your forehead like she's checking for a fever. "you're burning up," she says. "but you don't feel sick. what's going on?"

"just can't sleep," you whisper.

"since when?"

you close your eyes. "since i lost something."

she waits for you to say more. when you don't, she asks, "what did you lose?"

you shake your head. you can't say it out loud.

sarah sighs and stands up. "i'm making soup," she says. "you're eating something."

you don't eat. you drink half the broth she brings you and your stomach cramps around it.

you go back to your room when the sun starts to set. you lie down and you wait for the second night.

the second night is worse.

now your body knows what's coming. it starts to panic before you even get into bed. your hands shake as you brush your teeth. your stomach twists as you pull back the covers.

you lie down and your whole body is tense, waiting for the sleeplessness to start.

it doesn't disappoint.

you spend hours staring at the ceiling. you try counting backwards from one thousand. you try naming every state in alphabetical order. you try to remember the lyrics to every song you learned in elementary school.

nothing works.

your thoughts race in circles. where is he right now? is he cold? is he scared? does he think you abandoned him? the thoughts are ridiculous and you know they're ridiculous but you can't stop them.

at four am you get up and throw up in the bathroom. there's nothing in your stomach but bile. you rinse your mouth and look at yourself in the mirror. your eyes are red and swollen. your skin is gray. you look like you've been sick for weeks.

sarah finds you there. she's in her pajamas, rubbing her eyes. "you're up?" she asks, then she sees your face. "oh my god. y/n. what's happening to you?"

"nothing," you say. "go back to bed."

"you've been throwing up," she says. "and you look terrible. i'm taking you to the hospital."

"no," you say, too fast. "i'm fine. i just can't sleep."

"for two nights?" she asks. "that's not normal. something is wrong."

you lean against the sink and close your eyes. "i just need to find him," you whisper.

"find who?" sarah asks.

you shake your head. you can't say it.

sarah puts her hand on your arm. "you're scaring me," she says quietly. "please tell me what's wrong."

you open your eyes and look at her. she looks scared. you hate that you're doing this to her. but you can't explain. it's too embarrassing

"i'm sorry," you say. "i just need to find something i lost. then i'll be fine. i promise."

she stares at you for a long moment. "what did you lose?" she asks again.

you push past her and go back to your room. you close the door and lean against it and slide down to the floor.

"i'm sorry," you call through the wood. "just please let me handle this."

you hear her hesitate. then you hear her walk away.

you get back in bed.

you lie there and watch the sky outside your window turn from black to gray to pink.

you don't sleep.

by the third day you're unraveling.

you try to go to work because you need the money and you can't afford to lose another day. you stand at the coffee shop counter and you can't remember what buttons to press. you stare at the register for thirty seconds while a customer waits and you can't make your brain work.

your manager sends you home.

"are you on something?" she asks quietly in the back room. "if you need help, we can get you help."

"i'm just tired," you say. "i haven't slept."

she looks at you and her expression softens into pity. "go home," she says. "get some rest. come back when you're better."

you walk back to the laundromat. you check the lost and found box. you ask the blue haired girl if anyone has turned anything in. she recognizes you now and her sympathy has started to turn into something else, something wary.

"no," she says. "nothing."

you put up a sign on the bulletin board.

lost. navy blue denim jacket. no questions asked. reward.

you put your phone number at the bottom.

you wait.

no one calls.

the third night is the worst yet.

now you're afraid to even try to sleep. the bed feels like a battlefield. you lie down and your whole body is rigid with dread. you know what's coming. the long hours of darkness. the racing thoughts. the way your mind turns against you.

you start to cry at eleven pm and you don't stop.

you cry until your throat is raw and your eyes feel like they've been scrubbed with sandpaper. you cry until your chest hurts and you can't catch your breath.

sarah finds you at two in the morning sitting on the kitchen floor with your knees pulled to your chest and your face wet and your whole body shaking.

she sits down on the floor with you. she puts her arm around your shoulders. she doesn't ask what's wrong. she just stays there.

"i'm sorry," you whisper. "i'm so sorry."

"shh," she says. "it's okay. whatever it is, it's okay."

you lean your head against her shoulder and you cry quieter, then, exhausted and empty.

she helps you to bed. she tucks the covers around you like you're a child. she sits on the edge of the mattress and strokes your hair until your breathing slows.

"do you want to tell me now?" she asks softly.

you shake your head against the pillow. "i can't," you whisper.

she sighs. "okay," she says. "but i'm here when you're ready."

she stays until you pretend to fall asleep. then she slips out and closes the door.

you lie there with your eyes open in the dark.

you don't sleep.

the fourth day you don't get out of bed at all.

sarah brings you water. she brings you toast. she sits on the edge of your bed and tries to get you to eat.

"just a bite," she says. "please."

you eat half a slice and your stomach cramps around it.

you stare at the wall and you think about bear. you think about his soft fur. you think about his smell. you think about the way he fit in your hand just right, the perfect size to hold against your heart.

you wonder if you'll ever sleep again.

the fifth night comes.

you've been awake for so long that time has stopped making sense. hours blur together. you can't remember if you ate today. you can't remember what day it is.

you lie in bed and you stare at the ceiling and you wait for morning.

your body is screaming for rest. your eyes burn constantly. your head feels like it's full of static, white noise that never stops.

but your mind won't let you go.

it keeps you awake like a punishment. like a curse.

you start to think that maybe this is just your life now. that you lost the one thing that let you rest and now you'll never rest again. you'll spend the rest of your existence exhausted and hollow and reaching for something that isn't there.

you get up and walk to the window.

you look out at the street below, empty and dark, and you wonder if he's out there somewhere. if he's cold. if he's alone.

you press your forehead against the glass and you close your eyes.

you don't sleep.

you don't sleep on the sixth night either.

or the seventh.

by the eighth day you're a ghost. you move through your apartment like you're haunting it. you don't eat. you don't speak. sarah has stopped asking if you're okay because she knows you're not.

she just brings you water and sits with you and waits.

she doesn't ask again what you lost. she just stays with you, her presence steady and warm, until the afternoon light fades and your room grows dark.

on the ninth day, sarah knocks on your door earlier than usual.

"i'm having some people over tonight," she says through the wood. "just a few friends. dinner. nothing crazy."

you don't answer. you're staring at the ceiling and counting the cracks in the plaster. there are eleven. you've counted them a hundred times.

"it would mean a lot to me if you came out," she continues. "just for an hour. please."

you close your eyes. the thought of being around people makes your skin crawl. you're so tired. you're so empty. you don't have the energy to pretend to be normal.

but sarah has been so patient. she has brought you water and toast and sat with you in silence. she hasn't pushed you to explain. she has just been there.

you owe her this.

"okay," you say. your voice sounds like rust.

you hear her exhale. "really?" she asks. "you'll come out?"

"yeah," you say. "i'll try."

you hear her smile. you can hear it in her voice. "thank you," she says. "just an hour. that's all."

she walks away and you lie there and wonder if you can do this.

you get up at six. you haven't slept in nine days and your body feels like it's made of glass, fragile and ready to shatter.

you go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror.

you look terrible. your eyes are sunken and red rimmed. your skin is pale and splotchy. your hair is a tangled mess.

you try to make yourself look presentable.

you splash cold water on your face until your cheeks have some color. you brush your hair and pull it back into a low ponytail. you put on makeup for the first time in over a week, covering the dark circles under your eyes with concealer that's slightly too light.

you change out of the sweatpants you've been wearing for three days and put on jeans and a sweater.

you look in the mirror again.

you still look tired. you still look hollow. but you look like a person again. not a ghost.

you take a deep breath and open your bedroom door.

the apartment smells like garlic and rosemary. sarah is cooking pasta. music plays softly from her phone, something upbeat and indie.

she turns when she hears you and her face breaks into a smile.

"you look great," she says. she means it.

"thanks," you say.

she crosses the room and hugs you. she squeezes tight and you feel tears prick your eyes but you blink them back. you've cried enough.

"seriously," she whispers. "thank you for trying."

you nod against her shoulder.

the doorbell rings at seven.

sarah pulls away and wipes her hands on her apron. "that's probably maya and leo," she says. "can you get the door?"

you walk to the door on legs that feel unsteady. you open it.

maya and leo stand there holding wine and bread. they smile when they see you.

"hey," maya says. "long time no see. sarah said you've been sick."

"yeah," you say. "stomach thing. getting better now."

they come in and you take their coats and hang them on the hook by the door.

the hook is empty where your jacket should be.

you look away.

more people arrive. sarahs friends from class. a girl named priya who brings brownies. a guy named tom who talks loudly about his internship.

you stand in the kitchen and hold a glass of wine you don't drink. you smile when people look at you. you nod when they talk. you're performing being a person and you're not sure how convincing you are.

the doorbell rings again.

"i'll get it," sarah calls from the stove.

you stay in the kitchen and listen to the door open.

"hey," you hear sarah say. "i'm so glad you could make it."

"wouldn't miss it," a voice answers. male. soft. slightly rough. deep.

you don't think anything of it until they walk into the kitchen.

sarah enters first. then a boy.

he is tall. blonde hair. he's wearing a gray hoodie under a jacket that makes you stop breathing.

your jacket.

navy blue denim. oversized. frayed hem.

your jacket.

on his body.

you stare at him and the glass in your hand starts to shake.

"y/n," sarah says, "this is riki. he's in my art history class. riki, this is my roommate y/n."

riki looks at you and smiles. his eyes are warm and dark brown and he has full lips.

"hey," he says. "nice to meet you."

you force yourself to smile. "nice to meet you too."

you don't say anything about the jacket. your throat closed up. your heart starts hammering against your ribs.

when riki shrugged off the jacket to hang it by the door, you noticed he folded it carefully, smoothing the collar with his palm before stepping away. not the careless toss most people gave their coats, but something deliberate, almost tender. 

you watch him from the corner of your eye all night. you watch him talk to maya about some movie. you watch him help sarah carry plates to the table. you watch the way the jacket moves on his shoulders, the way the front pocket bulges slightly with nothing in it now.

bear is not there.

you feel sick.

but you don't confront him. you can't. not in front of everyone. not when you're barely holding yourself together.

you make it through dinner. you laugh at the right times. you push food around your plate and pretend to eat.

when riki leaves, he shrugs into the jacket and zips it up and you watch him walk out the door and you feel like you're losing bear all over again.

but now you know who has him.

or at least who has your jacket.

you go to bed that night and you don't sleep. but now there's something else mixed with the exhaustion. hope.

the next week, sarah has people over again.

"rikis coming," she mentions casually while chopping vegetables. "he asked about you. said you seemed nice."

you freeze. "oh?"

"yeah. he's really into thrifting. you should see his apartment. it's like a vintage store exploded."

you nod and try to act normal.

when the doorbell rings, your stomach flips.

riki walks in wearing your jacket again. this time with a different hoodie underneath. he smiles when he sees you.

he looked at you differently this time, his eyes lingering on your face like he was looking for something. 

"sarah said you've been sick," he said, and there was a note of suspicion in it, or confusion. "yeah," you said. "stomach thing." he nodded, but his brow stayed furrowed, like he knew you were lying but couldn't figure out about what. 

he hangs the jacket on the coat rack by the door and you have to stop yourself from staring at it.

all night, your eyes drift to that jacket. you wonder if bear is still in the pocket. you wonder if he took bear out. you wonder where bear is now.

you don't sleep that night either. but you spend less time crying and more time thinking.

riki comes over again three days later. sarah invites him for movie night. he brings popcorn and wears your jacket again.

this time you sit next to him on the couch. you can smell the jacket from here. you can smell the musk, amber, and something warm.

it smells like bear.

it smells like home.

your eyes start to close during the movie. just for a second. the scent is so familiar. so comforting.

you jerk awake and riki is looking at you.

"you okay?" he whispers.

"yeah," you say. "just tired."

he nods and looks back at the screen. but after a minute, he shifts slightly and the jacket sleeve brushes against your arm.

you don't pull away.

the fourth time he comes over, you're ready.

sarah is in the kitchen making tea. the others haven't arrived yet. it's just you and riki in the living room.

he's wearing your jacket again. he wears it every time. it must be his favorite now.

you sit down next to him on the couch and your hands are sweating and your heart is racing but you have to ask.

"can i ask you something?" you say.

he looks at you. "yeah. of course."

"that jacket," you say. "where did you get it?"

riki looks down at himself. then back at you. "thrift store," he says. "downtown. why?"

you take a breath. "i think it might be mine," you say. "i lost a jacket just like that at the laundromat on fourth."

rikis eyes widen. "oh," he says. "oh wow. i'm sorry. i didn't know."

"it's okay," you say. "you didn't know. but... there was something in the pocket. when i lost it. something important."

riki stares at you. "something important?" he repeats.

"a stuffed animal," you say. your voice cracks. "a bear. he was in the front pocket. did you... did you find anything like that? when you bought the jacket?"

riki is quiet for a long moment, his brow furrows.

"there was something," he says slowly. "when i got home and checked the pockets. a bear. yeah. i remember."

your whole body goes weak. "you have him?"

riki looks at you. "i have him at my apartment," he says. "i didn't know what to do with him. i kept meaning to bring him back to the thrift store but i kept forgetting. i'm sorry. i should have turned him in."

you're crying. you can't help it. tears are streaming down your face and you don't care.

"can i have him?" you whisper. "please? he... he's really important to me."

riki stares at you. he looks confused but not judgmental. just curious. concerned.

"of course," he says. "i'm so sorry. i didn't realize. i can go get him right now. my apartment is only ten minutes away."

you shake your head. "no," you say. "you don't have to. just... next time you come over. please. bring him."

"i will," riki says. "i promise. tomorrow. i'll bring him tomorrow."

you nod and wipe your face. "thank you," you say. "thank you so much."

sarah comes out of the kitchen with two mugs. she sees your face and stops.

"...everything okay?" she asks.

"yeah," riki says before you can answer. "we were just talking about the jacket. turns out i accidentally bought y/ns lost jacket."

sarah looks between you two. "seriously?"

"yeah," you say. "small world."

sarah sits down and the conversation moves on. but riki keeps looking at you. not with pity. with something else. something gentle.

the next day, he texts sarah that he's running late but he'll be there soon.

you sit on the couch and wait. you haven't slept in twelve days now. you're beyond exhausted. you're running on fumes and hope.

the doorbell rings.

you answer it.

riki stands there holding a small plastic bag. inside is bear.

you make a sound. a sob. you reach out and take the bag with both hands.

"i'm sorry i kept him so long," riki says. "i really didn't know."

you open the bag and pull bear out and press him against your face.

but something was wrong. underneath the familiar notes of amber and musk, there was something else, something chemical and sharp. the thrift store, maybe, or someone else's detergent. 

you pressed harder, trying to find the original smell, the one that had lived in his fur for years, but it was muffled, distant, like trying to hear a song through a wall. 

but underneath bears familiar scent, there is something else. something that smells like musk and amber and warmth.

you look up at riki.

"you smell like him," you say.

riki blinks. "what?"

"like bear," you say. "like home."

riki stares at you. then he smiles slightly. "thats a weird thing to say," he says.

"i know," you say. "im sorry. i just... i havent slept in twelve days. and you smell like sleep. you smell like the only thing that lets me sleep."

riki steps closer. he looks at your face. at your red eyes and your pale skin.

"twelve days?" he asks quietly.

"not since i lost him," you say.

he is quiet for a moment. then he says, ""why do i smell like him?" he asks. "like the bear?"

you look at him. really look at him. at his warm eyes and his messy hair.

"i dont know, maybe its the jacket?" you say. "but you do. you smell exactly like him. like amber and musk."

riki smiles. "amber and musk," he repeats. "thats funny."

"why?"

"because thats what my soap smells like," he says. "my grandmother makes it. she sends me bars every month."

you stare at him.

"amber and musk," you whisper.

"yeah," he says. "weird coincidence, right?"

you look down at bear. at his faded white shirt.

riki is quiet. then he says, "so i smell like your childhood."

you look up at him. "yeah," you say. "you do."

he smiles again. this time it reaches his eyes. "thats not a bad thing to smell like," he says.

that night you sleep for fourteen hours straight.

you woke up once at 3 am, reaching for bear automatically. you pressed your face to his stomach and inhaled, but the sleep did not come back as fast as it used to. 

the scent was there, but faint, like the last bit of perfume on a shirt. you had to bury your whole face in his fur to find it, and even then, it slipped away faster than it used to. 

you wake up with bear pressed against your face and your pillow soaked with tears that you do not remember crying.

the sun is streaming through your window at an angle that suggests it is late afternoon. you check your phone. 3:47 pm.

you've slept through your alarm. through sarah leaving for class. through the morning and into the afternoon.

you don't care.

you bury your face in bears fur and inhale. amber and musk. home.

but underneath that familiar scent, you catch something else. something that makes your chest tighten with a different kind of comfort.

riki.

he smells like this too.

you lie there for another hour, just breathing. just existing in the softness of finally being able to rest.

when you finally get up, you feel like a person again. your eyes are still heavy but they do not burn anymore. your head feels clear for the first time in weeks.

sarah is in the living room when you emerge. she looks up from her laptop and her face breaks into a smile.

"you slept," she says. it is not a question.

"yeah," you say. your voice is rough but steady. "i slept."

she stands up and hugs you. she smells like lavender shampoo and coffee.

"im so glad," she whispers.

you hug her back and you realize you have not told her yet. you haven't explained about riki and the jacket and the soap that smells like your childhood.

"theres something i should tell you," you say.

she pulls back and looks at you. "about the bear?"

"yeah," you say. "and other things."

you sit down on the couch and she sits next to you and you tell her everything. about bear. about the laundromat. about the insomnia. about riki buying your jacket. about the amber and musk.

when you finish, sarah is quiet for a long moment.

"thats why you couldnt sleep," she says finally. "thats what you lost."

"yeah," you say.

"and riki... riki smells like the bear."

"his soap," you say. "his grandmother makes it."

sarah stares at you. then she laughs. not a mean laugh. a disbelieving laugh.

"thats insane," she says. "thats actually insane."

"i know," you say.

she shakes her head. "im glad you told me," she says. "i was so worried. i thought you were having a breakdown."

"i kind of was," you admit.

she reaches out and takes your hand. "next time," she says, "just tell me. even if it sounds crazy. especially if it sounds crazy."

"okay," you say.

she squeezes your hand. "and riki... hes a good guy. he was really worried about you too. after he saw you that night. he texted me asking if you were okay."

your stomach does something soft and warm. "he did?"

"yeah," she says. "he seemed really concerned. more than just polite concerned. like actually worried."

you look down at bear, who you are still holding.

there's a pause before sarah speaks again.

"..does he still smell like it? riki? does he still smell like... home?"

you think about yesterday. about standing in the doorway with riki in front of you. about how even with bear in your hands, you had wanted to lean closer to him. to breathe him in.

"yeah," you say quietly. "he does."

sarah smiles. "interesting," she says.

three days later, riki texts you.

you're surprised when your phone buzzes with an unknown number and a message

hey its riki. got your number from sarah. hope thats okay.

you stare at the screen for a full minute before you answer.

yeah of course. hi.

he texts back immediately.

hey. i was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee sometime. or if thats weird. since i technically stole your jacket and your bear.

you smile.

It wasn't weird until you said that.

his reply comes with a laughing emoji.

fair. but seriously. coffee?

sure, you type. when?

how about saturday?

saturday works.

you put your phone down and you feel something flutter in your chest. it is not anxiety. it is something lighter.

saturday comes and you meet him at a coffee shop downtown. not the one by the laundromat. a different one. quieter. with velvet chairs and exposed brick walls.

he is already there when you arrive. he stands up when he sees you and waves. he's wearing a different jacket today. a brown corduroy one. but you can still smell it when you get close. amber and musk. drifting from his skin.

you order a latte. he gets an americano. you sit at a small table by the window.

you learned he was gentle in small ways. when the barista called out your name wrong 

riki didn't laugh or correct her loudly. he simply took your cup when it came out and said, "here you go, y/n" handing it to you with your actual name, soft and private, like it belonged only between you. 

he stirred his coffee exactly three times, always clockwise. 

"my mom used to say it made the sugar happier," he explained when he caught you watching, cheeks pinking. "stupid, I know." you thought it wasn't stupid at all. 

"so," he says. "how are you sleeping?"

it's such a direct question. such an intimate question from someone who is practically a stranger.

"better," you say. "since you brought bear back."

"good," he says. "im glad."

he tells you about his classes. about his grandmother who makes the soap. about how he grew up in a small town upstate and moved to the city for school.

you tell him about your job at the coffee shop. about sarah being your roommate for two years. about how you’re studying graphic design online.

the conversation flows easier than you expected. he asks questions and actually listens to the answers. he remembers details. he laughs at your jokes.

then he set his cup down and looked at you seriously. "can i be honest?" he asked. 

you nodded, stomach tight. "when i found that bear in the jacket pocket, i thought about throwing it away," he said. "i thought it was trash, or like, a weird mistake. and then when you asked about it, i thought maybe you were... i don’t know.. unstable." he said the word carefully. 

"im telling you this because i want you to know that im trying to understand. but i don’t totally get it yet. is that okay?" you felt tears prick your eyes, but they were relief tears, or something close. 

"that is okay," you said. "i don’t totally get it either." 

when you finish your coffee, he walks you home. it is only six blocks but it takes twenty minutes because you keep stopping to look at things. a street performer playing violin. a cat in a window. a mural that is half finished.

he points things out to you. things you would not have noticed. the way the light hits a particular building at this time of day. the sound of a bird that should not be in the city.

"youre observant," you say.

"i like paying attention," he says.

at your door, he stops. "this was nice," he says. "we should do it again."

"yeah," you say. "id like that."

he smiles. "ill text you."

he does. the next day. and the day after that.

he starts coming over to your apartment more often. not just when sarah invites him. he texts you first. asks if you’re home. asks if you want to hang out.

the first time he shows up unannounced, you’re in your pajamas at two in the afternoon on a sunday. you open the door and he is standing there with a bag of bagels.

"sarah said you like everything bagels," he says. "and shes not here but i thought... maybe you'd want to share them."

you stare at him. "im in my pajamas," you say.

"i dont care," he says. "im wearing sweatpants."

he is. gray ones. with paint stains on the knee.

you let him in.

you eat bagels on the couch and watch a documentary about octopuses. he sits close enough that you can smell him. amber and musk. it mixes with the smell of your apartment. your candles. your shampoo. it starts to feel like he belongs here.

after that, he comes over all the time.

sometimes he brings food. sometimes he brings movies. sometimes he just brings himself and his presence.

you start to notice things about him. the way he runs his hand through his hair when he is thinking. the way he hums under his breath when he is focused on something. the way he always asks if you’re sleeping okay.

"and how is bear?" he asked casually, stirring his coffee. you looked at him, surprised. 

"you never talk about him anymore," he said. "you used to carry him everywhere, secretly. now i never see him." you realized he was right. bear sat on your pillow now, untouched most days. 

"his smell is fading," you admitted. "i think... i think he's getting too old." riki nodded, not judgmental, just observing. 

"that must be scary," he said. "losing your safety net." 

you nodded, throat tight. "but you’ve been sleeping anyway," he said. "without him, sometimes. i notice." you hadn’t realized he had noticed, or that you had been doing it. "yeah," you said. "i guess i have." 

bear is back in his place on your pillow. but sometimes, when riki is over late and the three of you’re  watching movies, you find yourself getting sleepy on the couch. your head drifting toward him. your body relaxing in a way that usually only happens with bear in your arms.

one night, sarah falls asleep first. she is in the armchair, snoring softly, her phone still in her hand.

riki looks at you. "shes out," he whispers.

"yeah," you whisper back.

you’re sitting close on the couch. closer than you were at the beginning of the movie. your thighs almost touching.

"does it bother you?" he asks. "that i smell like... like your thing? like your comfort thing?"

you look at him. his face is serious. his eyes are soft.

"no," you say honestly. "it doesn't bother me."

"does it help?" he asks. "when im around. does it actually help you feel better?"

you think about it. about the way your shoulders drop when he walks in the room. about the way your breathing slows when he sits next to you.

"yeah," you say. "it does."

he smiles. it is a small smile. private. just for you.

"good," he says. "im glad."

he reaches out and takes your hand. his fingers are warm. his palm is slightly rough.

you let him hold your hand until the movie ends.

after that, things shift.

he touches you more. casual touches. his hand on your shoulder when he walks past. his fingers brushing yours when he hands you something. his thigh pressed against yours when you sit together.

but one night, when you had leaned into him particularly hard, burying your face in his neck without thinking, he pulled back. 

"hey," he said gently. "can you tell me when you’re doing that because you want to be close to me, versus when you just need the smell? i want to be here for you, but i also want to know if i am just... a pillow to you. or if im a person." 

you froze, mortified. "you’re a person," you said quickly. "im sorry. i didn’t realize i was doing that." he softened, but his eyes were serious. "just check in with me," he said. "that is all i ask." 

you start to need him there. not just for the scent. for him.

you text him when you’re having a bad day. he comes over. he doesn’t ask questions. he just sits with you. lets you lean against him.

one night, three months after he returned bear to you, you have a nightmare.

you wake up gasping. your heart is racing. the dream is already fading but the fear remains. you reach for bear and clutch him tight but the comfort is not coming. your body is still in panic mode. your mind is still spinning.

you lie there for an hour. two hours. staring at the ceiling.

you held him to your face until your nose hurt from pressing. you inhaled until you were dizzy. but the smell was gone, or nearly gone, replaced by something stale and empty. just cotton. 

just old fabric. the magic had evaporated somewhere between the laundromat and riki's apartment, or maybe it had been dying for months and you had been too dependent to notice. 

bear is not working.

you hold him to your face and inhale. amber and musk. but it is not reaching the place inside you that needs soothing. it is like the scent has lost its power. or your ability to receive it has broken.

you get up and walk to the kitchen. you get a glass of water. you stand in the dark and try to slow your breathing.

it does not work.

you go back to bed. you try again. you hold bear and you close your eyes and you will yourself to sleep.

nothing.

the sun comes up and you have not slept. your eyes burn. your head aches.

sarah finds you in the kitchen making coffee that you do not plan to drink. just something to do with your hands.

"you look tired," she says.

"didnt sleep," you say.

"bear not working?"

you shake your head. "not tonight."

she frowns. "thats weird."

"yeah," you say.

you go to work. you come home. you try again the second night.

the same thing happens.

you lie in bed with bear pressed against your heart and you cannot find the switch that lets you turn off. your mind will not stop. your body will not relax.

you get up at three am and sit on the floor. you press your forehead against your knees.

you do not understand. bear is here. bear is back. why is he not working?

the third night, you do not even try to sleep. you sit on the couch with all the lights on and you watch tv with the volume low. infomercials. cooking shows. anything to fill the silence.

riki texts you at midnight.

you up?

yeah, you reply.

can i come over?

you stare at the message. you don't want him to see you like this. exhausted. unraveling. but you need him. you need to know if it is just bear that is broken, or if you are broken.

please

you text back.

he is there in fifteen minutes. he is wearing a hoodie and his hair is messy like he rolled out of bed.

"couldnt sleep?" he asks when you open the door.

"no," you say. "three nights now."

he steps inside and closes the door behind him. he looks at you. really looks at you. at your red eyes and your shaking hands.

"bear not helping?" he asks quietly.

"no," you say. your voice breaks. "i dont know whats wrong with me."

"hey," he says. he steps closer. he puts his hands on your shoulders. "nothing is wrong with you."

"then why cant i sleep?" you ask. "i have him back. i have everything back. why isnt it working?"

he pulls you into a hug. you bury your face in his neck and inhale.

amber and musk.

and something else. something that is just him. skin and warmth and something clean underneath.

you breathe him in and you feel your shoulders drop. just slightly. just enough.

"do you want to try something?" he asks against your hair.

"what?"

"come to my place," he says. "tonight. just to sleep. my bed is bigger than yours. and... and maybe it will help. being somewhere different. with me there."

you pull back and look at him. "you want me to sleep at your house?"

"just to try," he says. "if it doesnt work, we can figure something else out. but... i want to help. and this is the only thing i know to offer."

you think about it. about going to his apartment. about sleeping in his space. about waking up with his scent all around you instead of just on bear.

"okay," you say.

his place is ten minutes away. you pack a bag with your toothbrush and a change of clothes and bear. you follow him in an uber because you’re too tired to walk.

the uber ride was too bright, the streetlights strobing across your tired vision in harsh yellow flashes.

you sat pressed against the door, your bag clutched to your chest, bear stuffed somewhere in the top where you could feel his soft bulk against your ribs.

riki sat in the middle seat, he'd insisted, saying he didn't mind, so he was close enough that every time the car turned, his knee bumped yours, warm and solid through the denim.

"almost there," he said, and his voice was pitched low, aware that loud noises felt like physical blows to your sleepless brain.

you nodded, not trusting your voice.

three nights without sleep had turned you into something raw and humming, a live wire dressed in sweatpants. your hands wouldn't stop shaking. you'd taken to pressing them between your thighs to still them, but then they'd start again the moment you released the pressure.

riki noticed. of course he did. he reached over and covered your closest hand with his own, pressing down gently. his palm was warm, slightly calloused, he'd mentioned once that he worked at a pottery studio on weekends, and now you could feel the evidence, the roughness of clay and stone against your skin.

"count the streetlights with me," he said.

"what?"

"count them. out loud. one, two, three. just until we get there."

"riki, i'm not a child,"

"i know," he said, and there was no pity in it, only steadiness. "but your brain is loud right now, isn't it? give it something else to say."

so you did. your voice came out rasped, broken, but he nodded along with each number, his thumb tracing slow circles on the back of your hand, and by the time you reached seventeen, you realized you'd stopped shaking.

his apartment building was narrow, sandwiched between a dry cleaner and a closed bakery.

the stairs creaked, old wood, old building, but he went slowly, turning every few steps to make sure you were still following, still there.

at the top, he unlocked three separate locks, the ritual of someone who valued the boundary of inside versus outside.

"welcome to my chaos," he said, pushing the door open.

it wasn't chaos. it was curated warmth.

the living room was small, dominated by a couch that looked soft from across the room, draped with a blanket that had been knitted in uneven rows, homemade, you thought. books stacked on the floor, not haphazardly but in towers, organized by color.

plants in every window, their leaves touching the glass, reaching for moonlight.

but it was the smell that made your knees weak.

amber and musk, yes, but layered with coffee grounds and old paper and the green, growing scent of the plants.

it smelled like a forest floor in a library. it smelled like him, amplified, concentrated, wrapped around you like a physical thing.

"you okay?" he asked, taking your bag and setting it by the door.

"yeah," you breathed. "it smells like..."

"like what?"

you shook your head, unable to explain that it smelled like the concept of sanctuary.

he showed you the bathroom first, clean, white tiles, a towel hung ready for you that was fluffier than anything you owned. then the kitchen, small but organized, a kettle on the stove. then the bedroom.

you hesitated at the threshold.

it was simple.

a queen bed with gray sheets that looked like clouds, a nightstand with a lamp that had a warm, low-wattage bulb already glowing.

more books. a window with curtains that looked thick enough to block out the sun. on the dresser, a small dish with loose change and a single, smooth stone.

"the bed is new," he said suddenly, and you turned to look at him.

he was standing in the doorway, giving you space, his hands in his pockets.

"i bought it last month. the old one was a twin from my childhood. i kept it too long. this one..." he gestured vaguely. "i wanted something that felt like a real place to rest. for when i was ready to rest."

you understood, then, that he was offering you not just his space, but something he'd built for himself. something he was still learning to use.

"i should change," you said, your voice small.

he nodded and pulled a t-shirt from his dresser, soft, worn gray, the collar stretched from use. "for sleeping," he said, handing it over. "it'll smell like me. if that helps."

you took it and went to the bathroom. changed out of your clothes, which felt dirty with exhaustion and anxiety, and pulled his shirt over your head.

it fell to mid-thigh, huge on you, and when you inhaled, it was like burying your face in his neck. you emerged with your own clothes folded in your hands, feeling vulnerable, exposed, but also wrapped in something that felt like safety.

he was in the bedroom, having changed into sweatpants and a thin white t-shirt. he'd turned down the lamp so the room glowed amber, matching the scent. he'd also, you noticed, placed bear on the pillow on the left side of the bed, propped up like he was waiting for you.

"i wasn't sure which side you preferred," riki said, gesturing to the bed. "i sleep on the right, usually, but i can move,"

"left is good," you said. "i sleep on the left."

"okay." he pulled back the covers. "do you need... i mean, is there anything? water? the window open or closed? i have a white noise app on my phone if the street is too loud."

you stood there, suddenly overwhelmed by his care, by the specificity of it. tears pricked your eyes, hot and embarrassing.

"i don't know," you whispered. "i don't know what i need. i've never... i've never done this. slept next to someone. not since i was small."

he nodded like this made perfect sense. "then we'll figure it out together," he said. "come here."

you climbed into the bed. it was firm but giving, the sheets cool against your overheated skin.

you pulled bear into your arms, clutching him tight, but you knew already that he wasn't enough tonight. the magic was thin, worn away by time and washing machines.

riki climbed in on the other side, keeping space between you. respectful. he lay on his back, his hands folded on his stomach, staring at the ceiling.

"tell me about the pottery," you said suddenly. you needed to hear his voice. needed something to follow into the dark.

"what about it?"

"anything. just... talk."

he did. his voice was soft, rhythmic, telling you about the wheel, about the way clay felt when it centered properly, smooth, responsive, like it wanted to become something.

he told you about the first mug he made that didn't leak, the first bowl that was actually round. he told you about his grandmother's soap, how she made it in her kitchen with lye and oils, how she'd send him bars wrapped in wax paper with little notes about the weather back home.

as he talked, you turned on your side to face him.

the lamp was still on, casting his profile in gold. you watched his mouth move, the way his adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed, the way his hands gestured slightly even though they were resting on his stomach.

"you're staring," he said, not looking at you, but smiling.

"sorry."

"don't be. i like it." he turned his head. his eyes were dark, soft.

there was a pause, the two of you just staring at each other.

"can i hold your hand?" riki spoke cautiously

the question was so gentle, so permission-seeking, that your chest ached. you nodded.

he reached across the space between you, still respectable, still careful, and found your hand where it clutched bear.

he didn't try to move the stuffed animal. he simply laced his fingers through yours, his palm warm and dry against your clammy skin.

"is this okay?" he asked.

"yeah," you whispered.

"and this?" he shifted, moving closer, slowly, giving you time to pull away. he settled on his side too, facing you, so that your knees were almost touching, so that you could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

close enough that the amber and musk wrapped around you like a blanket.

"yeah," you said again.

he reached out with his other hand, the one not holding yours, and touched your hair. just the ends, where it lay on the pillow.

"your hair is pretty," he said, and it was such a simple observation, delivered without expectation, that you felt something inside you crack open, something that had been clenched tight for years.

"riki?"

"mm?"

"will you... will you tell me if i'm too much? if this is too weird? i don't want to be a burden."

his hand stopped playing with your hair. he looked serious, intent.

"you could never be too much," he said. "and you're not a burden. you're..." he paused, searching.

"you're the person i want to give my best self to. the careful self. i haven't... i haven't wanted to be that person for anyone in a long time. it feels good. it feels like remembering."

you felt tears spill over, tracking down your temple into the pillow.

"i'm scared," you admitted. "i'm scared i won't sleep and i'll waste your night and you'll regret letting me come here."

"hey," he said, and his voice was firmer now, but still soft. still safe. he released your hand and reached up to wipe your tears with his thumb, a slow, careful stroke. "look at me."

you did.

"you're safe here," he said.

"whether you sleep or not. whether you sleep for five minutes or five hours or not at all. you are safe. i'm here. i am not going anywhere. i will be here when the sun comes up, and i'll make you coffee, and we will figure it out. okay? there's no failing here. there is only you, resting, however you can."

you nodded, sniffling, feeling foolish and cared for in equal measure.

he settled back down, but he didn't retreat.

he stayed close, close enough that you could feel his breath on your forehead.

he took your hand again, and with his other hand, he began to stroke your hair, slow and rhythmic, from temple to the nape of your neck, over and over.

"close your eyes," he whispered.

you did. the darkness was immediate but not frightening. his hand in your hair was anchoring.

his breathing was steady, a metronome.

time became liquid. you didn't know if minutes passed or hours.

you drifted in a half-state, aware of his presence, of the softness of the bed, of bear clutched against your chest, but also of riki's hand, still stroking, still present.

at some point, you realized you were crying again, but silently, tears leaking from closed eyes.

"hey," riki whispered, stopping his hand. "what's wrong?"

"nothing," you whispered back.

"i'm just... i'm relieved. i'm so relieved. i didn't know i could feel like this. safe, with someone else."

he made a small sound, something wounded and tender, and then he moved.

he shifted closer, closing the last few inches of space, and carefully, so carefully, he wrapped his arm around your waist. he didn't pull you against him, he asked with his body, and you answered by curling into him, tucking your head under his chin, pressing your face to the hollow of his throat where the scent was strongest.

his arm tightened, just enough. you could hear his heartbeat, steady and slow.

you could feel the rise and fall of his chest. you held bear between you, a soft barrier, but also a bridge.

"sleep," riki whispered into your hair. "i've got you. just sleep."

and because he was there, because the smell of home surrounded you, because his hand had resumed its slow stroke down your back, you did.

it wasn't immediate.

your mind still skittered, still tried to panic, still reached for the familiar spiral of thoughts. but every time it did, riki was there.

he hummed sometimes, wordless melodies that vibrated in his chest against your cheek.

he adjusted his arm when your shoulder twitched. he breathed slow and deep, and eventually, your breathing matched his.

you fell asleep to the sound of his heart, to the smell of amber and musk, to the feeling of being held like something precious.

when you woke, it was to golden afternoon light and the sound of rain against the window.

you were still curled against him, but sometime in the night, you'd shifted so that your leg was thrown over his, possessive and intimate.

bear had fallen to the side, nestled between your pillows, no longer needed as a shield.

riki was awake. you could tell by the way his chest moved differently, by the way his hand, still on your back, was tracing patterns now, letters maybe, or just shapes.

"hey," he said, his voice morning-rough.

"hey," you mumbled, not moving. not wanting to break the spell.

"you slept," he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

"yeah," you said, and then, because you needed him to know, "i slept because you were here. not just the smell. you."

he was quiet for a moment. then he pressed a kiss to your forehead, soft and lingering. "i know," he said. "i felt it. when you let go. i felt you decide to trust me."

you looked up at him. his eyes were soft, crinkled at the corners, his hair a mess from sleep. he looked beautiful.

"thank you," you said.

"thank you," he replied, "for letting me be the one."

you stayed there, wrapped in his arms, listening to the rain, breathing him in, knowing that you'd found something better than a childhood toy.

you'd found a person who smelled like home, who felt like safety, who would hold you through the dark until the light came back.

and for the first time in years, you weren't afraid of the night. because you knew where you'd be when it came.

⋆˚✿˖°

an✧˖°. i really hope you guys enjoyed this! i know it got a bit serious, but i needed to show the importance of bear. reblogs are ALWAYS welcome!! please any feedback is greatly appreciated :) also, PLEASE send me asks if you have anything you want to see me write, I BEGGG. i need inspiration in order to write something, or i wont be motivated!!!

[opiuons]

ex for a reason : 24 the quesadillas that make you fake date

previous masterlist next

𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺𝖾 : would you rather eat a panini off sunghoon’s biceps or get fed a quesadillas from jake’s mouth

taglist : @noirellee @luv444erin @ikeumiu @simjaeyunlvrclub @isoobie @woninlove @writtenbysunoo @riiseiis @gownluvr @honeymoonave777 @asaapjwons @ikeuikkeu @rijakecentral @zenhypen @bamgyooooo @wonkiipiilled @jxqk3 @bensabrifirildak @1009beats @kikizzz0 @scarredbytheworld @amb4rluvs @jazzygirlengene @oveenchana @breadlover01 @stealthyutopiaabyss @zoe1love @softblaqn @dina-10s-blog @xerophyides @lingxio @lili-thewriter @ikeu05 @saaaaaaaai @jay-j4y @gyuguys @vikeuchu @aesthelia @coupsarchive @yoshidoshida @oreomuncher4life @kamxstar @nanilis @luv4dani @simjaeyunslut @fleumurr @leeknowstoes00 @aeruchiaorchids @cosm1cgarbag3 @phonkdemon

[opiuons]

taglist : @sullyswife @jakeycakeys @miyeonprincessu @dearestevan @megamatt43 @111skz @carmenikeuublog @goatedwiththesaucedotcom @n0hyuck @rikibabyyy @scarett-lover23 @traumatized-luna @jwnieluvrr @honeyedfate @hhoneyhan @kristynaaah @antonxoul @junsfriend @kiuxchb @paradoxxxyuncifer7 @nikiasaurus @oiosoobin @demiurqe

[jaeyun-ie]

🦮: I feel like a lot of people are worried about us. A lot of the fans are worried about how we’re doing. But I just want to say we’re better than ever, you know. It’s like this mutual kind of thing because we’re worried about the fans and how they are, because they might be going through their own thing, or they might be stressed about us. It’s just this mutual kind of… almost, I’ll say, love. Because you need to love someone to worry about them. We’re worried about the fans, the fans are worried about us. But I just want to put this out there that we are doing very well. We are the most confident about this next album.

[kii-kii]

Oh Jake the man you are

[dadasimjaeyun]

oh he’s so sexy intelligent soft spoken sexy kind caring mature sexy

[stellast4rzy]

look at the stars................................................................................. ⭒*.✩.*⭒⠁

𝝑⋆₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ₊˚ look how they shine for you

yeah, they were all yellow ⊹ ࣪ ﹏﹏�﹏﹏﹏﹏ �﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖. ଘ꒰⑅ ´ ˘ ` ⑅

`. `. oh honey, how sweet you are~

© moodboard arranged by @stellast4rzy

[douyinlvrr]

* ⋆. now playing: no doubt | ENHYPEN ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||||||• 0:10

♡ 반복되는 시차 속에 난 깨달아낮이 됐건, 밤이 됐건 의심 없이, I love you ♡

────────𓏲𑁘 𓏲੭ 백 번, 아니, 더, 천 번도 더 replay, girl

[heepill]

ok so he’s fucking insane

[ikeuzito]

SUGARCOATED

(박종성) ✶ fem!reader

synopsis: you're moving into your college apartment when a handsome guy helps you with your heavy boxes on the stairs. He turns out to be Jay, your older neighbor — a lawyer who quickly becomes part of your new life. He listens to you ramble for hours but never offers much about himself, and you tell yourself it's fine, that everyone has boundaries. Being with him feels too right to question, so you let yourself fall anyway, completely lost in him and blind to what's right in front of you until it's too late.

includes: student!reader x lawyer!jay, age gap (not specified), neighbors to lovers (?), lots of domestic fluff mixed with rough sex, slow-burn buildup before the smut, explicit sexual content (mdni), big dick jay, size kink (emphasis on thickness, length, belly bulge, stretching, etc.), cockwarning, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink, praise kink, multiple orgasms, spitting in mouth, overstimulation, oral (f. & m. receiving), fingering, riding, missionary, spooning sex, car sex, doggy, spanking (punishment), manhandling, dirty talk, nipple play, soft dom!jay, brief mean dom jay, aftercare, pet names (princess & baby).

wc: 19.2k ─ a/n: ngl i'm so insecure about this... it took me forever to finish because i was running out of creativity and kept giving up, but i finally did it! really hope you guys like it anyways. i'd really appreciate any feedback! happy reading <33

comment here to join the tag list! .𝜗𝜚 ݁˖

You have been waiting for this moment for months, even years. You are finally moving out. It is because of college, but still, it is a new beginning far from home — a brand-new chapter in your own space. A mix of excitement and nervousness settles in your chest, because living alone requires a lot of responsibility, and you are not sure if you are ready to handle it all.

For the past five minutes, you have been staring at the mountain of boxes crammed into the trunk and backseat of your car like a game of Tetris. You are wondering how you are going to carry so many boxes up to the third floor where your apartment is. With a deep breath, you finally grab one of the boxes, and immediately stagger under its weight.

"Maintenance. Sorry for the inconvenience" reads the sign taped to the elevator doors.

Drops of sweat form on your temples, down the back of your neck, and pool on your spine, making your shirt stick to your skin. Of course it would be hot as hell on the day of your move, and of course the elevator wouldn't be working — talk about lucky.

You take another deep breath, hug the box against your chest, and begin climbing the stairs slowly, careful not to lose your balance.

Your arms are trembling and your breathing is almost as heavy as the box by the time you finally reach the first floor, forcing you to set it down for a moment to rest. But just as you pick it up again, mentally preparing for the next flight of stairs, the sound of footsteps coming down from above catches you off guard.

A man is coming down the stairs. He’s tall, wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing the prominent veins on his forearms. His jaw is sharp — probably sharper than any knife you’ve ever seen. He looks so put-together that you suddenly feel embarrassed by your sweaty face and disheveled state.

Seeing you, he stops immediately, his eyebrows furrowing with mild concern. "Whoa. Let me help you with that." His voice is low and smooth, the kind of voice that sends a shiver down your spine before you can stop it.

You blush, heat rising from your neck to your cheeks. "Oh, you don’t have to. I can manage—"

"I insist," he replies gently, waiting with his hands hovering, giving you the choice. You let him take the box, and the relief is immediate — your arms practically sing in gratitude. He lifts it as if it weighs nothing, cradling it against his chest with just one arm — the same box you were struggling to carry with both. "I’m Jay, by the way."

You quickly wipe the sweat from your forehead and try to fix your hair because you want to look at least a little presentable for the incredibly good-looking man helping you. "Thank you so much. I’m y/n. I’m moving in today, to apartment 3B."

Jay’s expression softens, and a warm smile spreads across his face. "3B? That’s interesting. I live right next door, in 3A." He nods toward the stairs. "Looks like we’re neighbors." He gestures ahead. "After you."

You both climb the remaining stairs together and your heart still pounding. You can’t tell if it’s from the physical effort earlier or from his company. Because of the nerves, the words start tumbling out before you can stop them.

"I’m starting college this week. I got accepted and everything, and I was so excited when I found this apartment. It’s the first time I’ve ever lived away from home, so I’m really thrilled… but also kind of terrified? Like, what if I get lost on campus? What if my classes are way harder than I expected? I brought way too much stuff, I’m kind of attached to my things, you know?" You let out a breathless laugh. "Sorry, I’m probably talking too much. I get really chatty when I’m nervous."

Jay glances at you as you walk, the box still balanced effortlessly in his arms. He doesn’t look annoyed — in fact, he seems amused, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You’re not talking too much. It’s a big change, but you’re doing great."

You bite your lower lip, watching him as you climb. There is something intriguing about him that sparks your curiosity. "And you? Are you a student too, or…?"

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. "No, I’ve already graduated. I work at a company downtown." He says it casually, offering no further details — which only makes you even more curious.

You reach the landing of the second floor and have to stop to catch your breath, while Jay doesn’t even seem slightly winded — it’s honestly impressive. "My parents helped me pack my bags, but they’re hours away now. It’s exciting, though. New city, new people. I just hope I don’t ruin everything."

"You won’t," Jay says gently. "Everyone feels like that at the beginning. The nervousness is normal. Besides, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. You’ll find your rhythm." He sets the box down carefully in front of your door. "Ready for another round?"

The words hit you like a spark. "Ready for another round." And before you can help it, your mind immediately drifts, imagining Jay on top of you, his strong body pressing you into the mattress, that same low voice murmuring the question against your neck while his hands pinned your wrists above your head. Heat flooded your face and settled lower in your belly.

You quickly shake your head, trying to push the thought away, desperately hoping your blush isn't too obvious. "Yes, let's do it."

He carries the rest of the boxes for you, going up and down the stairs multiple times. Meanwhile, you keep rambling nonstop about what you are studying, where you are from, and how you are feeling about this new phase of your life. He listens as if he genuinely cares, and even though you can’t quite place the age difference between you two, you feel surprisingly comfortable with him.

When the last box finally makes it through the door, you stand in the hallway with a grateful smile. "Thank you so much, Jay. Honestly. I don’t know what I would have done without you."

"Glad I could help. Moving is a big step. If you need anything else, I’m right next door." With that, he returns to his own apartment, leaving you surrounded by a sea of boxes that will clearly take hours to unpack.

A few days pass. You unpack — not everything, just the most important things. Your first classes are overwhelming. You get lost twice, accidentally walk into the wrong lecture hall, and sit through an entire lecture on quantum physics before realizing your mistake. But as embarrassing as it was, that mistake ended up leading you to a guy named Jake, who turned out to be incredibly nice and cute.

Now you are standing outside Jay’s door with a plate of cupcakes in your hands, ready to properly thank him for helping you with the move. The thing is, you can’t really bake; you tried making the cupcakes yourself but ended up burning the batch, so you had to go to the bakery on the corner to buy a box of them instead. They look a bit too professional, but since he doesn't know about your complete lack of kitchen skills, you're confident he won't suspect a thing — especially since you took them out of the box and arranged them nicely on a plate just to be extra safe.

You knock on his door, your heart pounding hard in your chest. He opens it a moment later, and his face lights up when he sees you. "Hey, neighbor," he says, leaning against the doorframe. "How are classes going?"

"Good," you reply, pushing the plate forward with a little too much force. "Great, actually. I only got lost twice today, which is an improvement." Your smile widens. "I brought these for you. For helping me with the move. I made them myself."

He looks at the cupcakes, then back at you, this time raising an eyebrow. "You made these?"

"Yes," you say, nodding firmly with your chin held high, trying to look confident. "From scratch. All by myself. I’m pretty good at baking."

He picks up one of the cupcakes and examines it, narrowing his eyes as he brings it closer to his face. You feel your determination starting to crumble.

"Really?" he asks with a smile, clearly testing how long you will keep up the lie. "From scratch?"

You hold his gaze for three whole seconds before you look away in embarrassment. Your shoulders drop and your face turns as red as a tomato. "Okay, fine. I bought them at the bakery on the corner. I took them out of the box so you would think I’m a functional adult who knows how to bake." You laugh at yourself. "I tried making them the other day, Jay. I set off the smoke alarm. I’m a danger to this entire building."

He throws his head back and laughs — not mocking you, but with a genuine, warm laugh that makes you feel less embarrassed about pretending you had baked the cupcakes. "Oh my God, you actually burned them?"

"I once burned noodles. I’m a total disaster in the kitchen."

He steps aside, still smiling, and gestures for you to come in. "Alright, come in. I’ll split one of these ‘homemade’ cupcakes with you. It’s the least I can do for someone who put so much effort into the task."

Your mom’s voice whispers in the back of your mind: "Don’t talk to strangers and definitely don’t go into their apartments, sweetheart." But is he really a stranger? He is your neighbor who carried all your boxes without complaining, and the way he stands there holding the plate of cupcakes with that smile makes you not hesitate at all.

You follow him inside. He leads you to the kitchen, grabs two small plates, and carefully unwraps a vanilla cupcake, splitting it in half before sliding one piece toward you.

"Have a seat," he says, pointing to the stool by the kitchen island.

"So, you mentioned you work downtown? What exactly do you do?" you ask as you sit down.

"I’m a lawyer," he replies, taking a bite of his half and nodding in approval. "Good choice of bakery, by the way."

You laugh, biting into yours. "A lawyer. That makes a lot of sense. You have this… I don’t know how to say it without sounding weird, but you have this organized vibe. Like you’re really good at arguing without even raising your voice."

His smile widens. "People have definitely told me that before that I have a ‘courtroom voice.’ It’s just my normal voice, only lower and slower. People tend to listen when you don’t yell."

"You’ll have to show me someday. If I ever get in legal trouble, I’ll know exactly who to call."

"Please don’t get in legal trouble. But if you do, I’m your guy."

The conversation flows just as easily as it did on moving day, and before you know it, you’re venting about your annoying professor, how massive the campus is, and all the times you’ve already managed to get lost. Between all the talking, the cupcakes completely disappear, leaving the coffee he made to sit cold and barely touched in your mug. There’s just something about him that instantly puts you at ease.

Despite the age gap, he never talks down to you or makes you feel small, which makes talking to him completely effortless. It’s just so comforting to have someone around who listens to you with that much care and attention — especially when he happens to be incredibly good-looking, leaving you totally hooked since the very first day.

As he walks you to the door when you finally get up to leave, he snatches a pen and a post-it note to scribble something down. Before you know it, he’s pressing the paper into your palm, his fingers brushing lightly against yours and sending a sudden warmth to your cheeks as he says, "Here’s my number, in case you ever need anything."

"Thank you," you say, smiling a little too wide.

He nods. "Anytime. Seriously. Don’t be a stranger."

────────

The grocery bags dig painfully into your fingers as you stand in the lobby, staring at the elevator doors that are still under maintenance. You look at them as if a miracle might happen — maybe if you stare for one more second, God will take pity and finally fix it. Nothing happens, of course, which makes you let out a long sigh of frustration. It has been days since you moved in and the elevator is still not working.

Your arms already hurt from carrying way too many bags. You definitely should have made two trips, but stubbornness won.

Reaching the second floor is pure torture; your arms are burning, those plastic handles are digging right into your palms, and the bags keep swinging awkwardly against your legs. Trying to stop and adjust your grip only makes things worse, to the point where you're seriously considering just sitting right there on the stairs and crying.

You finally collapse against the wall at the third-floor landing, letting the bags slide to the floor just to catch your breath. Right then, the door to 3A clicks open and Jay steps out — perfectly dressed for work with that annoyingly handsome lawyer look that instantly makes your stomach do a little flip.

He sees you immediately. For a second, his eyes take in the whole scene — your flushed face, the many overloaded bags, and the way you are leaning against the wall breathing heavily. A light, amused laugh escapes him. It is not mocking, just genuinely entertained, as if he expected nothing less from you.

"Carrying heavy stuff again?" he asks, walking toward you. "You really don’t learn, do you?"

Before you can even open your mouth to protest, he is already reaching for the bags, picking them all up at once as if they weigh absolutely nothing. His strong arms support the weight so effortlessly that his biceps press against the fabric of his dress shirt, making it completely impossible for you not to stare.

He turns and walks toward your door, carrying everything like it is nothing.

At your doorstep, Jay sets all the bags down carefully against the wall and turns to face you. His expression is calm, almost unreadable, but there is something more in it. You understand it the moment he starts speaking in a gently scolding tone. "You really shouldn’t carry so much at once," he says, crossing his arms. "It’s not safe and it’s clearly too heavy for you. Make two or three trips next time. Look at your hands, they’re all red. You were hurting yourself. Why? Because you’re way too stubborn, huh?"

You glance down at your palms, and they are red where the plastic handles dug in. "I was fine," you say, though even you do not believe it. "I almost made it."

"Don’t be stubborn."

"You sound exactly like my dad," you reply, crossing your arms to mimic him. "He’s always telling me I’m too stubborn for my own good."

Jay’s lips curve into a small smile. "Because you really are," he says with so much certainty that you cannot even argue back. "I’m serious. Next time, make multiple trips or just text me. I’d rather help than watch you struggle like that."

There is a protective tone in his voice that makes your cheeks warm with a mix of embarrassment and something else stirring low in your stomach. He is lecturing you like a child, but somehow it sounds kind of hot coming from him.

Then he glances at the grocery bags again. Now that the scolding is over, he seems to actually pay attention to what is inside them. He picks one up and looks inside — it is full of frozen meals, instant noodles, ultra-processed food, and canned goods. "Look, I know you’re in college now, but that doesn’t mean you have to live on processed food. It’s quick, sure, but you need real fresh stuff, not just things that come out of a can. Eating like this long-term isn’t good for you. You could get sick."

You blink, caught off guard by the extra lecture. He is fully in dad-mode now, and there is something strangely attractive about how seriously he takes it, like he is genuinely worried about you. "Okay, okay. I get it… I already told you I’m a disaster in the kitchen, so I just grabbed whatever is easiest so I don’t starve."

Jay’s expression softens a little. "I’m not trying to scold you. I just know how easy it is to fall into bad habits when you’re living on your own for the first time." He pauses and adds in a gentler voice, "If you ever need help in the kitchen, you know where to find me. I’m not exactly a chef, but I know how to make real meals."

Your mind wanders again because you can’t help it — you picture him in your kitchen, standing right behind you while teaching you how to cook, his hands guiding yours, the warmth of his body against your back…

"I’ll try to do better, I swear. Thanks for helping again. I think I owe you something now. How about brownies as a thank you this time?"

Jay shakes his head, chuckling softly. "You don’t owe me anything. Just be more careful next time." He glances at the heavy bags one more time. "Need help carrying these inside?"

You shake your head quickly. "I can handle it from here. I bet you’re busy, you look like you’re heading to work."

He checks the watch on his wrist. "Yeah, I have a meeting soon, but the offer stands anytime." Before turning to leave, he gives you one last firm look. "Take care of yourself."

After he leaves, you drag the bags inside, one half first and then the other, just like Jay suggested.

That night, you are sprawled on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when you open your contacts. You saved Jay’s number, of course, but you have been telling yourself you don’t need to text him. It is an emergency-only number, but then you think about him carrying your groceries, the effortless way he took them from you, and the gentle scolding in his voice. Before you can overthink it, you are already typing a message to him.

────────

It is already past midnight and you have been staring at the same page of your textbook long enough for your vision to blur. Your brain has officially given up — it is impossible to absorb a single word more after hours of studying.

You are about to slam the book shut to take out your stress on it and drag yourself to bed when a soft knock sounds at the door. Your heart jumps slightly because you were not expecting anyone, especially not at this hour.

Another knock.

You get up slowly, stretching your sore muscles, and walk to the door. When you open it, Jay is standing there, looking different tonight without his formal work clothes and lawyer posture. He is wearing a simple white t-shirt, gray sweatpants, and is barefoot. He looks relaxed, holding a bottle of red wine — as if he made the sudden decision to knock on your door and came straight over without even putting shoes on.

"Hey," he says, his low voice making your stomach flip. His eyes scan over you, taking in your tired face, messy hair, and pajamas. Something in his expression softens.

"Hey," you reply softly, matching his tone.

"Hey," he repeats, then laughs when he realizes what he just did.

"Hey," you answer again, this time with a small smile. "You already said that."

"I know." He laughs again, shaking his head. "I just… it’s late."

"Very late."

"I know." He lifts the bottle slightly. "I bought this earlier today but… it’s no fun drinking alone."

You look at the wine, then back at him. The way he is standing there — messy hair, ridiculously handsome, and a little too soft — makes going back to bed suddenly seem like a very stupid choice. "Are you inviting me to drink with you?"

"I’m asking if you want to take a break. From everything."

The way he looks at you with those inviting eyes makes the decision easy, but you decide to tease him first. "I don’t usually drink with strangers."

"We’re not strangers," he says, his voice soft. Your teasing does not seem to faze him.

"We’re not exactly friends either," you reply, tilting your head and studying his reaction.

The corner of his mouth lifts into a small, almost lazy smile. "Then let’s change that."

You pretend to consider it for a moment, even though you were already fully committed the second you saw him at your door. "Mmm, okay. But let’s do it at your apartment. Mine is a mess."

His smile widens, crinkling the corners of his eyes. "Alright, whatever you want."

You grab your keys and follow him, also barefoot, to the door next to yours. His apartment is clean and organized as always, which makes the space feel strangely comforting. In the kitchen, he pours two glasses of wine and hands you one, his fingers brushing against yours for half a second and sending a spark through your body.

"Cheers," he says, raising his glass.

"Cheers," you repeat, gently clinking your glass against his.

You take a sip and let out a small, involuntary hum of appreciation — it is much better than you expected, probably the most expensive wine you have ever tasted. He gestures toward the living room. "Come on, let’s sit," he says, leading the way to the couch. You follow and settle onto his couch, trying to look more relaxed than you actually feel.

"This is nice," you say, taking another sip.

He sits on the other end of the couch — close enough to talk comfortably, but far enough to be polite. "It’s just wine." He takes a sip, watching you over the rim of his glass.

"I mean relaxing… not thinking about classes for the first time."

He nods, understanding. "You think about classes a lot."

"It’s pretty much my entire life right now," you admit with an awkward little laugh, taking another sip.

"I remember going through that too. Everything revolving around exams, assignments, and exhausting responsibilities."

You tilt your head, studying him. "You make it sound like ancient history."

"Sometimes it feels like it." He takes a sip, not breaking eye contact. "I still remember when I was in college. I used to think a bad grade would ruin everything." A dry laugh escapes him as he shakes his head. "There’s so much pressure."

Suddenly you find yourself wanting to know more about him, drawn by the experienced tone in his voice and posture. The wine is already loosening your tongue, so you ask. "How old are you, anyway?"

A small, playful smile appears on his lips. "I’m old enough."

You narrow your eyes, trying to hold back a smile. "That’s not an answer."

"It’s the only one you’re getting." He takes another sip.

"That’s annoying," you say, leaning forward slightly and resting your elbows on your knees.

"Maybe I am annoying." He shrugs, but there is a sparkle in his eyes that tells you he is enjoying this.

"You’re avoiding the question," you accuse, pointing a finger at him.

"I’m protecting my privacy."

"From what? Your neighbor?" You laugh, raising an eyebrow.

"Especially from my neighbor."

You pout, pretending to be hurt. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

"Everyone has secrets," he says, his voice dropping to a lower, more intimate tone.

"I don’t." You are not even sure why you say it. Maybe it is the wine, or the way he is looking at you right now.

"Everyone does." He holds his ground. "You have secrets too."

Your pulse quickens. "I don’t."

"Yes, you do."

You swallow hard. The air between you feels thicker now, charged with something you can’t quite name. You shift slightly on the sofa and notice how easy it would be to reach out and touch him. "So you have a lot of secrets, huh?" you ask, curious.

"Yes. Quite a few."

"Like what?" you press, wanting to see what he will give you.

"If I told you, they wouldn’t be secrets anymore." His lips curve into a slow, almost predatory smile.

"Touché." You raise your glass in an ironic toast, making him laugh.

A comfortable but heavy silence settles between you for a moment, thick with tension as you exchange glances and take slow sips. The wine is definitely doing its job — making your words come out slower, your laughter easier, and your body warmer.

"How old are you?" he asks, breaking the silence.

You blink, caught off guard. "Me?"

"Yes, you." He leans forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. "You asked me, so I’m asking you back."

You smile, deciding to play his game. "I’m old enough."

A low, surprised laugh escapes him — rich and genuine. "That’s my line."

"I know." You take another sip to hide your smile.

"You stole my line."

You just shrug. "I borrowed it."

"That’s not how borrowing works."

"Yes, it is."

He laughs again. "You’re impossible."

"Am I? What else?" You raise an eyebrow, challenging him.

"You’re something," he says, his voice dropping again.

"What?" You are not sure what he means by that.

"I don’t know yet." He keeps his eyes fixed on you. "But I’m figuring it out."

You feel your cheeks heat up and take another sip of wine to try to hide your reaction. Jay, however, keeps watching you, and you can tell he noticed.

"You know what I’ve noticed?" By now your voice is a little slurred, so you have to be careful with the words that come out of your mouth.

"What?" His wine glass is almost empty. He sets it on the coffee table and turns all of his attention to you.

You lean back on the couch, turning to face him more directly. Your knee brushes against his thigh, but neither of you pulls away. "You don’t talk much about yourself."

He tilts his head, frowning slightly. "Don’t I?"

"No. You listen, but you don’t share. Like, you’re dodging right now. You give answers, but you don’t really answer."

"Well, I’m trying to protect myself," he says simply.

"Protect yourself from what?" You lean forward, genuinely curious now.

"From getting too attached." The words are honest, and you definitely were not expecting them.

You stare at him, your hand frozen halfway to taking another sip. "From what?"

"To you." His voice is almost a whisper, making your pulse race and your skin flush.

"Why would you get too attached to me?"

He stays silent for a moment, his eyes tracing over you as if he wants to memorize every detail. "Because it’s easy to get attached to you."

"No, it's not," you say, shaking your head as a small, incredulous laugh escapes you.

"It is." His voice is gentle but firm, leaving no room for argument. "You just don’t see it."

You look away, feeling your entire body grow warmer. "You’re dodging again."

"I’m being honest." He leans forward slightly, and you can smell him now — a masculine scent mixed with the light sweetness of the wine.

You set your glass on the coffee table and turn to face him completely, the wine making you bolder. "You’re giving me half-answers. You’re telling me just enough to make me curious, but not enough."

He stays quiet for a moment, thinking. "What do you want to know?"

You hold his gaze. "Something real. Truly honest."

Silence stretches between you, thick with something heavy and suffocating that you can't quite name. Then he whispers, "I think you’re beautiful."

Your breath catches, and for a second you are not sure you heard him correctly. "That’s not—" you begin, but he interrupts you.

"It’s honest."

"You can’t just say that," your voice barely comes out as a whisper.

"I just did." His gaze doesn’t leave yours for even half a second.

"It’s too… direct."

"You asked for it." He says it simply, like it is the most natural thing in the world.

"You’re a tease," you say, not sure if you are complaining or not.

"Wait until you find out what else I am. You want to know me? Then make sure you’re ready."

You do not know what to say or what to do, so you look away, your face burning.

When he finally walks you to your door, you are a little unsteady on your feet. He steadies you with a gentle hand on your waist, and the touch is enough to send shivers through your body. "I’m fine," you murmur, even though you are swaying slightly.

"You’re drunk," he says, smiling at your messy state.

"I’m a little tipsy," you reply, giving him a blurry-eyed look.

"You’re drunk."

"It’s the same thing," you mutter dismissively.

"No, it’s not." He is looking at you with that warm, steady gaze that makes your knees feel weak.

You smile, light and tipsy. "Yes, it is."

At your door, you miss the lock twice. He laughs softly before helping you. "Thank you," you whisper. "For this, for the wine, the company, and everything."

His lips curve into a small, warm smile. "Good night, old enough.:

You smile again — you seem to always be smiling when he is around. "Good night, old man."

You step inside, close the door, and lean against it with your heart racing and your whole body warm from the wine and his words — still smiling like an idiot.

A few minutes later, you are curled up in bed when your phone buzz on the nightstand.

────────

You have been tossing and turning on the mattress for what feels like hours — shifting positions, turning to the other side, but nothing helps. You can’t fall asleep — you mind refuses to stop, racing with thoughts about exams, deadlines, and the weight of all your responsibilities pressing down on your shoulders. You need air, you need to feel like you are not suffocating in that apartment, surrounded by boxes you haven't even had the time to unpack yet. There are several unfinished notes on your desk that constantly remind you that you are not doing enough, no matter how hard you try.

So you go up to the rooftop. The cool night air hits your face and lets you breathe again.

The city is an endless sea of lights — countless tiny glowing points in the darkness that remind you how small you really are. You sit on the old bench near the edge of the roof, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them like a shield.

Your thoughts slowly begin to calm as the minutes pass, and the knot in your chest loosens just a little.

Then the door creaks open behind you.

You turn quickly, your body instantly on alert and your heart racing. And there he is — Jay. He is wearing sweatpants and a black shirt, something about this casual, almost domestic look makes your heart skip a beat. He sees you immediately and stops. Surprise flashes across his face for a second before it turns into that familiar half-smile.

"Can’t sleep either?" His voice is low, almost intimate in a way that makes you shiver.

You shake your head. "I have too much on my mind right now…"

He nods as if he completely understands — and he really does. Walking toward you, he stops at a respectful distance before sitting on the bench beside you — close enough for you to feel the warmth of his body, but not so close that he invades your personal space. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." You shift over a little even though there is already enough space.

He leans back, looking up at the sky, which is beautiful tonight with a full moon and stars shining brightly. The silence stretches between you. He doesn’t force conversation; he simply sits there observing the sky and the city with you. The silence is not awkward — it is actually comforting, especially when you are with him.

"I can’t sleep," you admit, breaking the silence with words that slip out before you can stop them. "I try, but my brain just won’t stop. Every time I close my eyes, I start thinking about all the things I have to do, all the things I haven’t done, and all the ways I’m probably going to mess everything up."

"What’s on your mind?" His voice is gentle and patient as always, showing that he is ready to listen.

"Everything." You let out a shaky sigh. "College, exams, being away from my family for the first time… It’s a lot. I thought I was ready, that I could handle it. But sometimes it feels like I’m drowning and I don’t know how to swim. Literally."

"I know how that feels," he says after a long moment of silence. His eyes stay fixed on yours, and there is something raw in them — something honest. "I remember feeling exactly like that. Like everything was too much and I was too small to handle it."

"You’re talking about yourself. That’s new," you say softly. "You always ask about me, but you never—"

"You already have enough on your plate," he cuts in gently.

You blink, caught off guard. "What?"

"You’re stressed about college, adjusting to a new city, and far from your family," he keeps his gaze steady on you, his expression sincere. "You don’t need to hear about my problems too."

"That’s not how it works." You shake your head as something warm and confusing blooms in your chest. "We’re supposed to share things. That’s what—" You pause, searching for the right word. "That’s what friends do."

"I don’t want to burden you when you’re already dealing with so much, and I certainly don’t want to make it worse."

You stay quiet for a moment, his words stirring something you cannot quite name — but it feels good. "That’s really… kind," you finally say.

"I try." He shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips.

The silence settles again, and you sit together quietly for a while longer. Then, out of nowhere, he tilts his head and asks, "How’s your succulent doing?"

You laugh at the unexpected question. "You’re asking about my plant?"

"I remember you mentioned it." He turns toward you — fully turning his body — with a small playful smile on his lips. "I bet you gave it a name."

You shake your head, still smiling. "I haven’t named it yet… but it’s still alive, which is honestly impressive."

"You’re supposed to water it," he says in a gently scolding tone.

"I know." You look away, feeling a little guilty about slowly killing a plant.

"But you forget." There is no judgment in his voice, only warm amusement.

"I forget." You laugh — something you always do when you are with him. "I have a lot on my mind, okay?"

"You’re a plant killer." He smiles, making you grin even wider.

"I’m not a plant killer! I’m just… forgetful. It is surviving, which is more than I can say about myself sometimes."

Something in your words changes his expression. It is still gentle, but now there is a hint of concern. "You’re doing better than you think."

You don’t know what to say, so you just look at him, with the words stuck in your throat.

"Does the succulent at least have company?" he asks after a moment, his voice light as always.

You blink, confused by the sudden question. "What?"

"Other plants, maybe some flowers, something to keep it company. Plants get lonely too."

You laugh, shaking your head. "I don’t think it gets lonely. It’s just a plant, after all."

"All living things have feelings. It definitely feels lonely," he says with so much conviction that you almost believe him.

"That’s not scientifically accurate," you reply, not entirely sure if what you are saying is accurate either.

"I never said it was." He shrugs. "I’m a lawyer. I deal with arguments, not facts."

"They’re the same thing."

"Not at all." He shifts closer to you on the bench, making sure you are listening. "Facts are objective. Arguments are subjective. I make a living turning subjective arguments into something that sounds like objective facts."

"That’s… something. And you’re so weird."

"I’m just concerned about your plant’s loneliness." His voice is incredibly serious, showing that he is taking this very seriously.

"You’re worried about my plant," you say, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, just like I worry about you."

You don’t know what to say again — Jay has a way of leaving you speechless. Your cheeks flush and you look away. "I’ve never received flowers before, anyway…" you say softly, the secret slipping from your lips.

Jay is not sure he heard you correctly. "What did you say?"

Even though you hesitate, you repeat it, louder this time. "I’ve never received flowers." You look down at your hands, fidgeting with your fingers. "I had a boyfriend before, but he was an idiot. He never did anything romantic like giving me flowers or taking me for dates."

He stays silent for a long moment, his gaze fixed on you while your heart pounds loudly in your ears. He is thinking about something — you can tell by the way his jaw tightens. "Would you want to go on one? With me."

You stop breathing the moment you hear his words and everything around you seems to freeze. "What?"

"A date. A real date where I pick you up, open doors for you, and take you somewhere nice. It doesn’t have to be romantic if you don’t want it to be. It can just be two people spending time together. Whatever makes you feel comfortable."

Your heart is beating so hard you are sure he can hear it, your mouth is dry, your palms are sweaty, and the words feel stuck in your throat again. Jay is asking you out on a date — a real date. The age gap has been on your mind since the day you met — he is a lawyer and you are still trying to figure out how to live on your own, but every interaction with him feels safe, like he truly sees you.

"Jay, I—" You stop, taking a shaky breath.

"You don’t have to answer right now," he says gently, giving you time to think.

"No, I—" You take another deep breath, and this time the words come out steady. "Yes. Yes, I want that."

His face transforms — a slow, warm smile spreads across his lips and reaches his eyes, making your stomach flip and your heart race just like always.

"Great," he says softly. "I’ll plan something."

A shy laugh escapes you as the reality of it sinks in. "What do you like to do on dates? I’m sure you’ve been on plenty."

He leans forward a little, resting his elbow on his knee. "I want to know what you like. That’s what matters right now, tell me your preferences so I can plan something good for you."

As you think for a moment, you suddenly feel embarrassed by how limited your preferences are. "I’m kind of picky, honestly. I like pasta, I hate anything too spicy, and I don’t like overly sweet desserts. Oh, and I’m not a big fan of seafood unless it’s fried. Is that too much?"

Jay listens attentively, nodding as if he is absorbing every detail. "Not at all. Being picky isn’t a problem, it actually makes it easier to get it right." He pauses, a playful glint appearing in his eyes. "You know, for someone who’s a disaster in the kitchen, you have very specific opinions, princess."

The nickname lands softly between you — affectionate and teasing, with a hint of warmth. Your breath catches, your face flushes instantly, and you lower your head to hide the redness in your cheeks and the smile forming on your lips.

"I… You can’t just say that," you murmur, looking at him through your lashes.

"Why not?" He is smiling even more now, clearly enjoying your reaction. "It suits you. You have high standards and you know exactly what you want, even if you pretend you don’t."

You cover your face with both hands for a second, peeking through your fingers. "You’re going to make me regret saying yes."

"Too late," he murmurs, his voice low and affectionate. "You already said yes."

You lower your hands and meet his gaze, your heart racing in the best possible way. Jay stands up suddenly and offers you his hand. "Come on, it’s getting late and you have class tomorrow. Let’s get you back inside before you freeze."

You take his hand — which is so much bigger than yours — and let him help you up. He doesn’t let go afterward, his fingers stay intertwined with yours as you walk together toward your floor. The elevator is no longer broken, but you both take the stairs anyway, wanting to prolong the moment a little longer.

Stopping at your door, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear with his free hand. “I'll text you about the date,” he says softly. "We’ll pick a night that works."

You nod, still feeling a little shy about everything. "Okay… Good night, Jay."

"Good night, princess."

────────

The next day, you are more nervous than you have ever been. Every notification on your phone makes your heart skip a beat, terrified that it is Jay confirming the date. Your stomach is in knots with a mix of panic and hope, even though you want to go on this date, you are still incredibly nervous about it.

Your phone buzzes while you are in the library trying to study. "Friday at seven? I’ll take care of everything. Just be ready for a proper night out."

The words "proper night out" send a shiver through you. He is taking this seriously, treating it as something special, even though he said it didn’t have to be romantic. Still, it means something. Smiling so wide that your cheeks hurt, you text back agreeing.

When Friday finally arrives, the butterflies in your stomach refuse to calm down. In fact, they become even more restless as the time of the date gets closer. Hours before, you start getting ready — taking your time as you choose an outfit that makes you feel confident and beautiful. You spend extra time on your makeup, keeping it natural but enhancing your eyes and lips, making sure everything is perfect.

Exactly at seven, you take the elevator down. Jay had insisted on waiting outside the building instead of knocking on your door. "I want you to have the full experience," he had texted earlier, and the gesture made you smile despite your nerves. The moment you step out onto the sidewalk, you see him leaning against his sleek black car parked at the curb. He looks unfairly handsome in a tailored dark shirt and pants.

For a moment, he simply looks at you — slowly scanning from your face to your dress and back up again as his smile widens. "You look beautiful," he says, taking a step closer. "Really, truly beautiful."

Your cheeks flush quickly and a smile forms on your lips. "Thank you. You look really handsome too."

Before you can say anything else, he reaches inside the car and pulls out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "I remembered what you said on the rooftop…"

The bouquet is perfect, wrapped so beautifully that it makes your chest tighten. "Jay…" you whisper as you reach out to take the flowers. "They’re beautiful. I don’t even know what to say."

Without thinking, you give him a grateful hug. His arms wrap around you immediately, one hand resting on your lower back while the other gently caresses the nape of your neck. "You don’t have to say anything. Just enjoy tonight. That’s all I want."

When you pull away, still smiling widely, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear and asks, "Ready to go, princess?"

You nod, holding the flowers like a lifeline. He opens the car door for you, waiting until you are settled before closing it gently. When he slides into the driver’s seat, he looks at you with a playful smile. "Seatbelt, please. Safety first."

You laugh and buckle up. "Such a gentleman."

"Only for you."

The drive starts peacefully, soft music playing in the background as you talk. He asks about your day and teases you lightly when you admit that you spent half of your class daydreaming about tonight and that it took you forever to choose what to wear.

You can’t stop stealing glances at him — the way his hands rest easily on the steering wheel, those large hands with long fingers, and the way he looks at you at red lights as if making sure you are still real.

After a few minutes, you notice the city lights fading and buildings giving way to trees. "Where are we going?" you ask curiously, realizing he has been driving for a while — much farther than you expected. "This is pretty far from our building. Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?"

Jay laughs, keeping his eyes on the road. "I’m not going to kill you. I’m just taking you to a place I love, and I think you’ll love it too."

The drive takes about thirty minutes, but when you finally arrive, the restaurant leaves you breathless. You immediately understand why he chose it — it is cozy and elegant, with a stunning view of the city. He reserved a intimate corner table with the perfect view.

He pulls out the chair for you, and as soon as you sit down, he leans in slightly to whisper in your ear, "Relax, okay?"

The dinner unfolds perfectly. You order pasta — creamy, exactly the way you like it — and he chooses a steak dish, offering you a bite from his fork with a raised eyebrow that feels far more intimate than it should. You talk a lot, and he listens as always, head tilted and eyes focused only on you.

You tell him about the friendships you are making in college, about the strange noise your AC is making, and absentmindedly mention the doorman. "He’s nice, I think… but sometimes he looks at me like he knows something I don’t."

Jay’s expression shifts with something unreadable for half a second, but he quickly covers it with a soft chuckle. "He’s probably just in a bad mood. Or maybe he sees how much you’re distracting your poor neighbor."

You laugh. "Poor neighbor? You seem to be handling it pretty well."

His foot brushes against yours under the table. "Barely."

In the middle of the conversation, Jay’s phone buzzes on the table. He glances at it, frowns, and silences it, slipping it into his pocket.

But a few minutes later, it buzzed again. Jay sighs. "I need to take this. It’s probably an emergency with a client. I won’t be long. I’m really sorry."

"Go ahead. I’ll be here judging the dessert menu."

He leans in and gives you a quick kiss on your temple before standing up. "I’ll be right back, princess."

The casual display of affection makes your heart race as you watch him walk away. While he is gone, you take a sip of your wine, observe the people around you, and study the dessert menu.

He returns after about five minutes, sliding back into his seat with an apologetic smile. "All sorted. Where were we?"

When the check arrives, Jay pays without hesitation, even though you offered to split it. Outside, the night air is cold, so he drapes his jacket over your shoulders when he notices you shivering. Then he pulls you closer for a moment, wrapping his arms around you. "Thank you for saying yes," he murmurs against your hair.

You look up at him, smiling. "That was the best decision I’ve made in a long time."

The drive back feels shorter than the trip there, unfortunately — you wish this moment could last forever. Jay keeps one hand on the wheel and the other holding yours, his thumb tracing lazy circles that send shivers down your spine. You arrive at the building sooner than you would like, but instead of stopping at the curb, Jay drives into the underground garage.

You unbuckle your seatbelt. "Thank you, Jay. For everything, the flowers, the dinner, the evening… I had a really great time."

He turns to you, that slow smile playing on his lips. "I’m glad, princess."

You reach for the door handle, but his hand moves quickly, wrapping around your wrist and stopping you. Your breath catches at the unexpected contact. "Wait, aren’t you going to thank me properly?"

You blink, confused. "I just did? The hug outside the restaurant and just now."

Jay chuckles, and his gaze shifts into something hungrier. "That was sweet, but I was thinking of something a little more fitting for the end of a perfect night."

Without overthinking it, you lean across the console and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," you whisper again, pulling back to see his reaction.

His smile widens. "Still not enough, princess. Come here."

He cups the back of your neck and pulls you closer. The kiss starts soft, his lips meeting yours hesitantly, and you quickly melt into it, which makes him deepen the kiss while still keeping a slow, deliberate pace. His tongue traces your lower lip, and you part for him with a small sigh.

What begins as one kiss turns into many, you lose count as they grow more intense, hungry, and urgent.

Somehow, you end up climbing over the console. His hands guide your hips until you are straddling his lap in the driver’s seat. The space is tight and the steering wheel presses against your back, but you couldn't care less right now. His hands roam along your sides, sliding up your dress until they rest on your thighs, his thumbs drawing circles that make you whimper against his mouth.

You kiss him again and again, tangling your fingers in his hair and tugging gently, which draws a low groan from him. That only encourages you — hips start moving on their own, pressing against the growing hardness beneath you. The friction makes you gasp, and Jay clearly loves the sight — he squeezes your thighs, encouraging your movements.

"God, you’re incredible," he whispers against your mouth between kisses. "So responsive… so perfect."

Jay pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, breathing hard. "You deserve better than this, princess. Our first time shouldn’t be in a car like a couple of impatient teenagers."

You kiss him again, more intensely, nipping at his lower lip. "I don’t care, I want you right here."

He groans, sliding his hand into your hair to pull you into another hungry kiss. "You’re so eager, princess… and so perfect grinding against me like this."

His mouth moves down to your neck, sucking lightly and drawing more whimpers from you. Your movements become restless, rubbing harder, chasing friction. "Jay…" you whisper between kisses. "I need you, please."

His hands find the hem of your dress, slowly pulling it up inch by inch with clear appreciation until he discards it onto the passenger seat. "Beautiful," he murmurs reverently as he stares at your tits. "So beautiful." He leans down, pressing hot, wet kisses along the soft skin, then his tongue circles one nipple before sucking it deeply into his mouth.

You arch your back, a moan escaping your lips. He gives the same attention to the other tit, licking, sucking, and grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth while his hand massages and caresses the first. “You taste so good,” he praises, his voice muffled. "These perfect tits in my mouth… you’re already trembling. So sensitive for me."

He kisses lower, along your sternum and ribs, then back up — worshipping every inch of you while you keep grinding against him. Your panties are soaked, and the friction against his hardness only turns you on more.

He waits until you’re trembling in his lap before he finally moves. Reaching between you, he lowers his pants and boxers just enough to free himself, and when he does, your eyes widen. He is big — thick and hard. The sight makes your mouth water and heat pool low in your belly.

Jay reaches into the glove compartment, fumbling for a condom. He tears it open and rolls it down his length with surprising skill while you watch, hypnotized and a little intimidated by his size and thickness. "You’re… really big," you say softly.

Jay notices your nervousness and caresses your cheek, trying to soothe you. "We’ll go slow, princess. I’ve got you. My good girl can take it."

He helps you shift your panties to the side, guiding you as you sink down onto him. The stretch is intense but delicious — you take him inch by inch, breathing deeply as he fills you completely, murmuring praises nonstop. "That’s it, princess… so tight, so good for me… so fucking perfect around me."

You bury your face in his neck as you sink all the way down, taking him completely until your ass is pressed firmly against his lap. "Oh God… you’re so, so big," you moan, still adjusting to the intense stretch.

The age difference flashes through your mind — he is older, more experienced, probably used to women who knew exactly what they were doing. You want to be good for him, so once you feel ready, you start moving — bouncing with almost frantic energy, desperate to please him. Your hips move and grind fast, determined.

"Easy, princess," Jay groans, gripping your hips to slow you down. "Slow… just like that. You feel incredible, but there’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere."

You moan, your cheeks burning with a mix of embarrassment and arousal. "I just… you’ve probably been with so many others who were better at this. I want to make it good for you. I want to be the best—"

He cuts you off with a deep kiss, then pulls back to look into your eyes while still guiding your movements into a slower, deeper rhythm. "Hey, none of that. It’s just you right now, and you’re already the best, baby. Look at how perfectly you take me." He thrusts up gently to emphasize his words, drawing a moan from you. "You’re my princess."

You relax into his words and the rhythm he sets, moving your hips in deep, grinding motions instead of frantic bouncing. It feels even better this way — his thickness brushing against every sensitive spot inside you. "Like this?" you ask breathlessly, your voice shy but needy.

"Just like that," he praises, his voice rough. "So good for me. So wet… so tight. You’re perfect, listen to those pretty sounds you make."

You keep whispering to him the whole time — shy confessions and soft, breathless questions. "You feel so good, Jay… I feel so full. Does it feel good for you? Tell me if you’re enjoying it."

He groans, his hands roaming over your back, squeezing your ass, then returning to your tits so he can lick and suck them while you ride him. "I love it. I love everything you do. The way you squeeze me… the way you say my name. You’re ruining me, princess."

The pleasure builds uncontrollably, intense and overwhelming, leaving both of you sweaty and breathless. He slides a hand between you to your clit, circling it with his thumb in time with your movements. You tremble hard, moaning and gasping, telling him how close you are, how good he feels, and how much you have wanted this since the day you moved in.

When you come, your walls pulse tightly around his thickness and your body shakes as you cry out his name. Jay follows right after, holding you firmly against him as he finishes into the condom with a deep groan, murmuring endless praises. "That’s it, come for me… so beautiful giving yourself to me completely… my perfect girl."

You collapse against his chest, both of you breathing hard. He wraps his arms around you tightly, kissing your temple while his hands gently caress your back. "You okay?" he whispers after a while. "Was it too much?"

"It was perfect," you murmur, nuzzling into his neck. "Better than I imagined. Thank you for slowing me down when I got too excited. I probably embarrassed myself, right?"

He shakes his head lightly and laughs, then he gives you one last kiss on your temple and helps you climb back into the passenger seat, watching as you slip your dress back on. "Don’t forget these," he says, reaching for the bouquet.

You take it with a happy smile. "I wouldn’t dare."

He walks around the car to open your door and intertwines his fingers with yours as you walk toward the elevator. Once inside, he pulls you close and kisses you the entire way up to your floor.

"Your place tonight?" you ask against his lips.

Jay’s hand slides to your lower back, pulling you even closer. "Yes, because I’m not done with you yet. I need you in my bed. The thought of you in my sheets, smelling like me when you wake up… it drives me crazy."

The elevator doors open and he pulls you down the hallway toward his door, unlocking it effortlessly. The moment you are both inside, he takes the flowers from your hand, sets them on the counter, and turns to you with hungry eyes. "Come here," he growls, pulling you into a deep, desperate kiss. His hands cup your face first, then slide down your body. "Let me take care of you properly this time."

He leads you to the bedroom and there, he undresses you slowly, admiring and kissing every inch of exposed skin. When you are completely naked, he steps back and looks at you with pure admiration and desire. "Fuck, look at you… so perfect. Every curve, every inch… all mine tonight."

He removes his own clothes and guides you onto the bed, settling between your spread thighs. His warm palms caress them, spreading you open even more. His mouth is on you immediately, licking a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit before circling the sensitive bud with the tip of his tongue, savoring you. "Mmm, already so wet," the vibration of his voice makes you gasp. "You taste so sweet, princess. Like you were made for my mouth."

You let out a shaky moan, your fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him closer. "Jay… that feels incredible. Oh God—"

He slides a finger inside you, curling it against that sweet spot while his mouth continues sucking and licking. The suction around your clit, the rhythm of his finger stroking that perfect spot deep inside — it all turns the pleasure into something deliciously overwhelming. He adds a second finger, then a third, carefully stretching you as he pumps them in and out.

Your hips move against his face as the pleasure intensifies. "Don’t stop… please, Jay, just like that," you moan, your voice breathless and desperate. He eats you out like a starving man — licking, sucking, and thrusting his fingers into you until your thighs shake around his head and you fall apart with a long, loud cry. You clench and pulse around his fingers as the orgasm crashes through you.

Jay doesn’t stop right away, he keeps licking and fingering you through it, prolonging every sensation until you are limp and panting. Only then he drags his mouth up your body, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses along your stomach, between your breasts, and up your neck. "You taste like heaven," he murmurs, his voice rough with desire. "I could do this all night, make you come on my tongue until you go stupid."

He grabs a condom from the nightstand and rolls it on quickly over his hard, leaking cock. You reach down, wrapping your hand around his thick, hard length — stroking him slowly, feeling the weight, the pulsing heat, tracing the veins with curiosity. "I want it raw, Jay… I need to feel you, please."

He groans deeply, his hips pushing forward into your fist. "Baby… protection first, remember? I’ll still make you feel good even with the latex between us, I promise." After kissing your forehead, he positions himself at your entrance and pushes in inch by inch, his eyes locked on yours the entire time. You feel a burning stretch as your walls slowly give way to him, every thick pulsing vein dragging against your sensitive insides. When he’s halfway in, you look down between your bodies and see the clear bulge pressing out against your lower belly.

He notices it right after and quickly slides a hand down to press against the bulge, feeling it move under his palm as he sinks deeper. "Fuck, look at that. You see how deep I am? My cock is rearranging your insides, princess. Stretching this tight pussy so you can see it from the outside."

Your hand joins his, pressing against the visible outline, feeling him move inside you from both the inside and the outside. He teases you mercilessly, thrusting slow and deep so the bulge shifts under your combined touch. "You’re taking me so well, like this pussy was made for my cock. So greedy, swallowing every inch."

He sinks the rest of the way in with a guttural groan, bottoming out completely. "Shit… so tight, so hot. You’re already milking me."

His thick cock fills you so completely that every movement presses against sensitive spots that steal the breath from your lungs. His thrusts start controlled and incredibly gentle instead of brutal force. One hand stays intertwined with yours above your head, while the other caresses your cheek, squeezes your breast, and lightly pinches your nipple before soothing it with his thumb. "You look like pure sin wrapped around me… My beautiful princess, creaming all over my cock, taking every inch like a good girl. I’m going to ruin you for anyone else."

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "Jay… it feels so good. You’re so deep, I can feel you everywhere." He leans down, capturing your lips in a messy kiss as his hips move faster in a devastating rhythm that pushes you closer and closer to the edge.

You come hard around him, your walls fluttering and clenching tightly as you cry out. He does not stop, thrusting deep and steady, prolonging your orgasm until you are shaking. "Fuck, that’s it, come on my cock, baby."

Jay follows right after, burying himself as deep as possible with a long, broken groan of your name as he cums, pulsing inside you. He stays buried deep for long moments afterwards, holding you close and covering your face, neck, and shoulders with soft kisses until both of your breathing steadies.

Eventually, he pulls out carefully, discards the condom, and returns from the bathroom with a warm, damp cloth. He cleans you both gently, murmuring more praises the entire time. "You were perfect, princess. So responsive, so beautiful when you come for me." He pulls the sheets over both of you and wraps you in his arms.

Your head rests on Jay’s chest while his fingers trace a lazy path along your spine, down to the curve of your waist. Without a word, you shift, turning onto your side. Jay follows naturally, molding his body against yours from behind in a perfect spoon. His chest presses against your back as he slides an arm around your waist, pulling you even closer. You can already feel him half-hard again against the curve of your ass, sending a fresh wave of heat through your body.

He nuzzles into the back of your neck, placing soft kisses there. "You okay?" he murmurs, his voice low and rough in the quiet room.

"More than okay," you whisper back, pressing lightly against him. "I like feeling you close like this."

Jay reaches for another condom from the nightstand. You hear the faint rustle as he puts it on, then his hand returns to your body, tenderly caressing your side and hip. He lifts your top leg slightly, hooking it over his, opening you up for him. The thick head of his cock brushes against your entrance before he pushes in slowly, inch by inch, until he is buried completely inside you.

"So good," he whispers against your neck, sliding a hand up to caress your breast. His fingers massage gently, his thumb circling your nipple until it hardens under his touch.

He starts moving — slow, deep rolls of his hips, thrusting unhurriedly so you can feel every inch of his thick cock dragging against your walls. While he fucks you, his hand on your breast never stops worshipping it — squeezing, rolling your nipple between his fingers, occasionally pinching lightly before soothing it with gentle caresses. And his mouth keeps placing open-mouthed kisses along the back of your neck, back, and shoulder.

You reach behind you, running your fingers through his hair as you move with him. "Jay… deeper like that feels so good."

His thrusts become a little deeper, but still controlled. "You take me so well every single time. Look at how perfectly you fit around me. I could stay inside you forever." His mouth finds the sensitive spot on your neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark while he continues playing with your breasts — pinching, rolling, and caressing until your nipples are deliciously sore. Only then he slid his hand down to your clit, circling it in time with his thrusts. The combination of sensations is overwhelming and pushes you closer and closer to the edge. "You’re so close… I can feel you squeezing me. Come for me again, princess."

And you do. Your walls contract rhythmically around his thickness as you moan his name, your body trembling in his arms. Jay follows right after you, burying his face in your neck with a deep groan as he comes, filling the condom.

You turn your head slightly to capture his lips in a lazy kiss. "I feel so safe with you," you whisper. "And so wanted."

He stays inside you until the aftershocks fade, then carefully pulls out, discards the condom, and cleans you both once again with gentle care. He pulls the sheets up around you both and draws you back into his arms, spooning you again.

Jay’s hand rests tenderly on your stomach, tracing small circles there. You feel deeply in love and completely at peace as you start to drift off to sleep, safe in his arms.

Sunlight is already filtering through the curtains by the time you slowly wake up the next morning —.only to realize the space beside you is empty, even though the warmth of Jay’s body and the faint scent of his cologne still linger around. You stretch and sit up to look around the room, noticing one of his shirts draped over the back of a chair. Slipping it on, you pad barefoot out of the bedroom toward the kitchen, drawn by the rich aroma of coffee and food already filling the air.

Jay is at the stove, flipping eggs while a plate of toast and cut fruit waits for you on the counter. You walk up to him and wrap your arms around him from behind, pressing your cheek against his back. "Good morning."

He turns off the stove and turns around, settling his hands on your hips. His gaze softens instantly when he sees you wearing his shirt. "Good morning, princess. You look way too good in my clothes."

You laugh softly and tilt your face up, expecting a kiss. He leans in but pauses with a playful look. "Ah, but you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. No good-morning kisses until after breakfast."

You pout and dramatically pull away. "Not even a kiss on the cheek? You’re so cruel."

With a sigh, he gives in — pressing a long kiss to your cheek, then another to your forehead. Before you can say anything, he effortlessly lifts you and sits you on the edge of the kitchen counter, standing between your knees. "There. Now I can look at you properly while I finish this."

As he moves around the kitchen, your eyes wander until they stop on the refrigerator. Something catches your attention — photos are held up by magnets, but one in particular stands out: a Polaroid of Jay smiling with his arm around a woman’s shoulders. You hadn't noticed it on your previous visits to the kitchen — you had been too focused on him. "Who is that?" you ask curiously, nodding toward the fridge. "The woman in the photo with you?"

Jay glances over while sliding a plate toward you. "That’s my sister. We don’t look much alike, I know. We’re actually half-siblings."

You tilt your head, studying the photo for another second. They really do not look very similar, but that is not unusual for half-siblings. "She looks nice," you say lightly, accepting the plate he offers. "Breakfast looks delicious, by the way. You really didn’t have to."

"I wanted to," he replies, stepping between your knees and stealing a quick peck. "After last night, it feels right to take care of you this morning… and maybe every other morning too."

You smile shyly. "Speaking of last night… it was incredible. You made everything feel so good, so right. I keep replaying every part of it in my head."

He reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "You were perfect, baby. I loved every second of it." He leans in and kisses the corner of your mouth. "You’re so beautiful when you let go for me."

"You’re going to make it really hard for me to focus in class today." You take a bite of the toast, savoring it. "Oh, by the way, I’m going out with some new friends from college tonight. They invited me to a party, it’s a chance to get to know each other better outside of class."

Jay nods, resting a hand on your thigh and stroking it lightly. "Sounds fun. Just be careful, okay? Text me when you get there and when you’re heading back."

"I will," you say, stealing another quick kiss from him. "I won’t stay out too late anyway. I have an early class tomorrow."

He picks up a piece of fruit from the plate and brings it to your mouth, brushing his fingers teasingly against your lips. "You deserve to have fun… I’ll be here if you need anything when you get back."

You stumble out of your friend’s car a little after 1 a.m., waving goodbye as you sway on your feet. You make your way toward the building entrance and suddenly remember that you promised to text Jay — which you didn’t. So you call him to let him know you arrived and are heading up. In response, he says he is waiting for you.

When you reach the third floor, Jay’s door is already open and he is waiting for you. "Heyyy," you say cheerfully, immediately wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his chest. "I’m back. Just like I promised."

Laughing Jay’s arms wrap around you automatically as he looks at you more closely. "You’re pretty drunk, princess. How was the party?"

"So much fun," you ramble, clinging to him tighter as he guides you inside and closes the door. "We danced, there was a shot game, and my new friends are so funny. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt." You tilt your head up, puckering your lips. "Kiss?"

Instead of a proper kiss, he gives you a quick one on your forehead. "You smell like a distillery and your shirt is soaked, what happened?"

You look down at the sticky stain on your shirt and pout. "Someone spilled on me. It’s gross. But I still want kisses, real kisses." You try to pull his face down, standing on your tiptoes. "I missed you all night. I kept thinking about you during the party… about how nice you were last night. We should do that again right now."

Jay gently holds your wrists to stop you. "Not tonight, princess. You’re drunk."

"But I want you," you beg, pressing closer, but he doesn’t give in at all. "You’re so hot, so gentle, and… big. Please?"

He shakes his head and guides you toward the bathroom. "No. Only when you’re sober and can remember everything clearly. Right now, I’m just taking care of you, okay?"

"Let’s get you cleaned up," he says gently once you reach the bathroom. Reaching for the hem of your wet shirt he carefully pulls it off, followed by the rest of your clothes.

"You’re always so gentle with me," you murmur, watching him adjust the shower temperature. "No one has ever been this gentle. I really, really like you, Jay."

He smiles softly and helps you into the shower, joining you still fully dressed so he can take care of you. Jay keeps one hand on your waist to steady you while the other runs soapy over your shoulders and arms.

The alcohol in your system makes your emotions spill out easily before you can stop them. "I think… I think I’m falling for you," you confess, your tongue loose, making your cheeks flush. "Is that crazy? It feels too fast. I know I’m younger and still figuring everything out, but being with you just feels right. You make me feel safe, wanted, and special."

Jay pauses for half a second, processing what he just heard, but then continues washing you carefully — lathering the floral-scented body wash over your skin. "This smells like… girl stuff," you say, a little curious. "Is it yours?"

He looks away for a moment before answering. "It’s my mom’s. She left some things here the last time she came to visit."

"Ah," You rest your forehead against his chest as the water runs over both of you. "I meant it, though. About falling for you. Even if it’s too soon… I can’t help it."

Jay wraps his arms fully around you under the spray of water, holding you close — voice is full of affection when he finally replies. "Hey… look at me, princess." He gently lifts your chin. "What you’re feeling… I feel it too." Softly, he kisses your forehead, then the tip of your nose. "We don’t need to rush or label anything right now. Just know that I’m here and I care about you a lot."

Even in your alcohol-fueled haze, his words calm the part of you that was worried you were moving too fast. "Really? You feel it too?"

"I do." He continues washing you carefully — your arms, your back, your sides — just taking care of you. "Being with you is easy. Natural. So let’s just enjoy it, okay? One day at a time."

Jay finishes rinsing you off and helps you out of the shower. Wrapping you in a towel he dries you gently before dressing you in one of his shirts. By the time he guides you to bed, you are already sleepy. He helps you lie down and you snuggle into the sheets, murmuring one last "I really like you" before falling asleep.

────────

The following days feel almost too good to be real.

You wake up in Jay’s bed, wrapped in his arms and wearing one of his shirts. He always wakes up before you to make breakfast and greet you with a good morning kiss and that smile that still makes your heart flutter. But on some mornings, you pull him back into bed to cuddle before classes and work, and without any argument, he makes time to make you feel loved.

When you get home from class, tired, Jay is already there to greet you cheerfully despite his own exhaustion. He texts you during the day, asking how your classes are going and reminding you to eat. When you are together, he pulls you in for slow, affectionate kisses — the kind that make your legs weak. Some nights you cook together as he tries to teach you how to make proper meals. Other nights he orders takeout and you eat on the couch while you tell him every detail of your day. He still doesn’t share much about himself, always dodging the subject, but you do not push — you don’t want to be invasive.

The sex is frequent — sometimes slow and worshipful, his mouth and hands adoring every inch of you until you are trembling and coming apart. Other times it is faster and more urgent — against the kitchen counter, in the shower, on the couch, in his home office. One night you try baking cookies together, ending up covered in flour and laughing as he kisses the mess off your cheek. Another night you start watching a movie cuddled together, but the movie is forgotten halfway through when clothes come off and he fucks you right there on the couch.

Suddenly everything feels so domestic — he now keeps an extra toothbrush for you, your notebooks are on his coffee table, and some of your clothes are scattered around his apartment. It is undeniable that you are falling deeper and deeper in love.

On a Sunday afternoon, you are studying on his couch while Jay is in his home office, working on a complicated case that demands his full attention. After hours buried in books and notes, concentrating is almost impossible. At this point, your mind keeps wandering to him without permission. When your brain finally gives up, you close the book with a dramatic sigh.

You walk down the hallway and peek into his office. Jay is sitting at his desk with his sleeves rolled up, looking unfairly attractive as he concentrates on reviewing some papers. "Jay?" you call, walking in without waiting for an answer.

He looks up, and the moment his eyes meet yours, the tension in his shoulders softens. "Hey, princess. How are the studies going?"

Boring." You take a few steps closer and don’t ask for permission — you simply climb into his lap, settling on his thighs and wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a trail of kisses along his jaw, then his cheek and lips. "I missed you. Pay attention to me? Just for a little while?"

One of his hands rests on your waist while the other continues organizing the documents. "I’d love to, baby, but this case is a nightmare. There are documents everywhere. I’m going crazy with these."

You nuzzle into the curve of his neck and kiss him there. "You’ve been in here for hours… you deserve a break." Your hips move subtly against him, restless, the friction sending a spark through both of you. You feel him twitch beneath you, already starting to respond to your movements.

Jay’s grip on your waist tightens. "Princess…" There is a warning tone in his voice, bordering on frustration. But as you grind against him, you can feel him beginning to harden, and that gives you hope — you think he might give in.

"You’re really testing me today." He pulls you into a kiss, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of your neck. When he pulls away, it is with a frustrated sigh.

"That's the point," you whisper, smiling proudly against his lips as you continue grinding, slower this time, feeling him get even harder.

Jay curses under his breath, gripping your hips more firmly. No matter how hard he tries to hold back, he can’t, the desire is uncontrollable. He reaches between you and unzips his pants. "Fine, but you’re going to behave." He frees his hard, throbbing cock and pulls your panties and shorts to the side. This time there is nothing between you — no latex barrier, just him.

You sink down onto him slowly, and the new sensation hits you immediately — it’s different, hotter, more intimate. Every ridge and vein is raw against your walls, the skin-to-skin contact sends a shiver through your entire body and makes you moan as you settle fully onto him. The stretch feels deeper and more overwhelming than ever.

For a moment, it feels perfect — connected, raw.

But then his hands close firmly on your hips, holding you completely still. "Don’t move," he commands, his voice noticeably deeper and rougher. "Stay just like this. No grinding, no whimpering. I’m serious."

His cock pulses hot and heavy inside you, and you can barely focus on what he said. "Jay… oh my God, you feel—"

"I said don’t move," he interrupts, repeating it more harshly this time. His free hand returns to the stack of papers while the other arm stays wrapped around your waist, keeping you in place.

At first, you try to obey — resting your head on his shoulder and breathing deeply every time his cock twitches inside you, but the longer you sit there, the harder it becomes. You let out a soft moan as your hips twitch involuntarily. "Jay… please, just let me move a little bit."

"I told you not to move. Jesus, you’re really pushing it today." The irritation is clear in every word now, and his grip on your waist tightens even more. "I have a deadline. I can’t afford to get distracted like this."

Again, you try to stay still — you really do, until frustrated tears prick at your eyes — but your body betrays you with small, involuntary movements of your hips. "I’m sorry… I can’t help it. This is driving me crazy. I need you to move, please."

Jay’s jaw is tense and his breathing comes in heavy bursts — clearly fighting the urge to thrust up into you. "You think I don’t want to? You’re so tight and wet around me right now, but I can’t. I have work to do and you’re not letting me focus." His tone grows even harsher. "Stop squirming. Be a good girl for me and just sit there.”

But you do not listen — you roll your hips again, letting out a moan as he rubs against that sensitive spot inside you. "Jesus Christ. I told you I have work and this is fucking important."

"But I missed you and this is torture. Please, please just fu-"

He cuts you off sharply. "You always miss me, always need something. Kisses, hugs, my cock, my fucking attention. You practically live here now, your things are all over my apartment, you sleep in my bed like it’s yours. Isn’t that enough attention? You know what? I need you to get off so I can actually finish this case."

The words hurt, making your chest tighten — tears of frustration turn into something heavier and spill down your cheeks. "I didn’t mean to be annoying… I just wanted to be close to you."

"Yeah, well, wanting to be close to me doesn’t magically make my deadline disappear. I’m already behind because of distractions like this." His hand on your hip tightens even more, holding you completely still, the pressure bordering on uncomfortable. "You have your own apartment right next door. Just give me a few hours alone, for once."

You stare at him in disbelief at what you just heard. Suddenly the intimate position feels humiliating — the way you are still stretched around him while he looks at you like you are nothing but am annoyance. "You want me to leave? Like this… right now"

"I’m telling you to give me some space." With no patience left, he lifts you off him, leaving you empty and trembling. "Go to your place, take a nap, study, whatever. Just let me work."

You stand there with shaky legs, wiping away your tears, feeling small, vulnerable, and unwanted. With a quiet, trembling breath, you whisper, "…Okay."

It's past 9 PM when Jay finally steps out of his office, having finished dealing with that pile of papers. The silence hangs heavy now, normally you would be humming, curled up on the couch waiting for him, or laughing at something silly on your phone. Without you, the space feels too empty. He had been rude — way too rude — and he sees that now. He owes you an apology, so he walks over to your door, but just as he is about to knock, he notices the door is not fully closed — it’s slightly ajar, allowing him to hear low murmurs of voices.

Frowning, he pushes the door open a little more and steps inside, finding a guy standing right at the entrance to your living room, putting on a jacket. The guy turns at the sound of the door, his expression quickly shifting to surprise. "Ah, hi. You must be Jay. She talks about you a lot."

He looks over the other guy’s shoulder toward the couch where you are sitting with your knees pulled up. The guy cleans his throat, sensing the tension between the two of you. "I was just leaving… It was really nice talking to you." He gives you a small wave. "Text me if you need anything else, okay?"

You smile and wave back. "Yeah. Thanks, Jake. Drive safe."

As Jake heads for the door, Jay blocks his path. "Wait. What exactly were you doing here?"

Jake blinks, surprised by the sudden question. "She seemed pretty down when we texted, so I decided to stop by and check if she was okay. Anyway, I’m heading out. Nice to meet you, man."

He steps aside, letting Jake pass. The door closes behind him, leaving just the two of you in the suddenly too-quiet apartment.

You stand up, hugging yourself. "Jay… what are you doing here?"

The regret he felt for being so harsh with you is quickly replaced by jealousy and irritation. "I came because my place was too quiet without you. I started thinking maybe I was too hard on you earlier, but clearly you didn’t waste any time finding company."

You frown, confused by what he means. "He’s just a friend. I told you about him before, we met during my first week on campus when I accidentally walked into the wrong lecture hall. I was upset after you basically kicked me out, so I texted him. We weren’t doing anything, just talking."

Jay lets out a short, bitter laugh and steps closer. "Talking late at night like it’s a casual visit. You mentioned him before, of course, but I didn’t know you two were close enough for house calls."

The hurt from earlier mixes with frustration now. "You were so rude, Jay. You made me feel like I was an annoying pest who can’t function without your attention. I understand you’re stressed with work, but you didn’t have to push me away and kick me out like that. I felt embarrassed."

He closes even more of the distance between you, standing close enough that you can feel the jealousy radiating off him. "You’re the one who can’t sit still for five minutes without demanding something, climbing into my lap while I’m trying to meet a deadline, whimpering and squirming like a spoiled brat because you ‘missed me’."

You take a step back, but the couch hits the back of your legs. "I just wanted to be close to you."

"But the world doesn’t revolve around your need for attention. I love having you around, but today? You made it impossible for me to concentrate, and the second I ask for a few hours to actually get things done, you run straight to this Jake guy?" Jay doesn’t care that nothing happened — the image of another guy in your space, late at night, while you were upset, makes his blood boil.

"I didn’t run to him! I was crying when he got here and he just listened. Unlike you, who basically told me to leave because I’m too much."

Jay’s laugh is harsh this time, completely humorless. "Too much. Yeah, that’s one way of saying you’re a spoiled brat who demands attention every second, and the moment things get difficult, you replace me with whoever is most convenient."

Neither of you speaks for a long moment. You look away, Jay’s jaw clenches, and soon his gaze drifts from your face to the way you are hugging yourself, then lower, lingering on your bare legs. The jealousy is still burning in his chest, mixed with the memory of you sitting on his cock earlier, demanding attention, all needy.

"Come here," he says, nodding toward the couch.

You hesitate, biting your lip, which makes Jay exhale sharply and close the distance. His hand wraps around your wrist, guiding you toward the couch. "We’re not done talking about this."

He sits on the couch and pulls you closer until you are lying across his lap, your stomach pressed against his thighs. Your shirt has ridden up naturally, but he is not satisfied. "This is in the way." His fingers hook into the waistband of your shorts and panties, pulling them down and tossing them aside — leaving your ass completely bare for him.

Jay’s palm rests on one of your cheeks, squeezing the flesh possessively. "You’ve been pushing all day… needing attention, teasing me, and then Jake shows up at your place, and I’m supposed to just swallow that?" His fingers dig harder into the flesh. "You’re mine, and it’s time you learn what happens when you piss me off this much."

His hand makes slow circles over your skin, almost soothing. "How many spanks do you think you deserve for acting like this?"

Your heart races as you try to process his words — head turning slightly to look at him. "What? Are you serious?"

He meets your eyes with a firm, dark expression — one you have never seen from him before. "Very serious. You’ve been spoiled all day, teasing me on purpose. So tell me, how many do you think you deserve?"

You swallow hard, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I don’t know… Five? Maybe?"

Jay lets out a mocking laugh. "Five? That’s way too low, baby. You’re going to take twenty, and you’re going to count each one out loud. If you lose count or mess up, we start over. Understood?"

You hesitate but eventually whisper, "Yes… okay."

"Good girl." His hand lifts and the first spank comes without warning — firm and sharp, the sound echoing through the silence. You jolt, a surprised moan escaping you — heat spreads instantly across your bare skin, the sting stronger than you expected.

"One," you gasp.

He immediately rubs the spot in slow, soothing circles, calming the hot skin where he struck.

"Two," you say after the next spank lands on the other cheek.

Jay keeps a steady rhythm — delivering hard spanks followed by almost tender caresses. Then his fingers slide lower, tracing your wet folds, spreading them teasingly, brushing against your entrance, lightly circling your clit before pulling away.

"What a spoiled little brat," he murmurs during one of the pauses, rubbing your reddened cheeks while two fingers tease your slit again. "You’re already getting so wet… You like this, don’t you?"

You moan instead of answering, which earns you another sharp spank. "Five."

He continues, the spanks leaving marks and building heat across your ass. Now his fingers are dip inside you, moving with slow, shallow thrusts, curling just enough to brush that sensitive spot and make you clench around him desperately. But he always pulls back before you can get close to the edge.

"Six… seven… ah!"

By ten, tears prick your eyes, your thighs trembling as the sting turns into a pulsing heat.

Jay pauses longer this time, massaging your sore ass and spreading your cheeks so he can tease your entrance again. "You’re mine. When you need attention that badly, you come to me, even if I’m stressed, even if I tell you to leave." A finger pushes deep inside you, staying there while his thumb brushes your clit.

You lose track amid the overwhelming sensations and he makes you start over, just as he warned. "Back to one." During the restart, two more fingers slide inside you, moving in a torturous rhythm. "You feel how wet you are? This is what happens when you forget who you belong to."

"You’re mine. Your time, your attention, this body. I don’t share it." Spank. Soothe. Tease. "Say it."

"I’m yours," you moan.

"Louder." Another spank.

"I’m yours, Jay!"

When he finally reaches twenty, you are a trembling mess with tears streaming down your face. Jay finally pulls you up and turns you so you are sitting in his lap. His hands stay on your ass, carefully massaging the sore flesh and you press yourself against the hard bulge in his pants, burying your face in his shoulder. "You did so well, my good girl."

Jay lifts your chin, meeting your eyes. For a moment, he just looks at you — really looks at you — taking in your flushed cheeks and tear-streaked face. Then he leans in and kisses you. One hand remains on your sore ass, squeezing gently, while the other slides into your hair. He kisses you like he needs to claim every part of you — hungry, insistent, his tongue tracing your lower lip before sliding inside. You melt into him, moaning against his mouth as you start slowly grinding your hips.

He pulls back just enough to trail his mouth along your jaw, nipping at the sensitive spot below your ear. "Still so needy… even after all that." Then he kisses you again, deeper and hungrier, tongues sliding together with fervor. The hand on your ass slips between your bodies to tease your wet folds with light circles and shallow dips — keeping you right on the edge.

When he pulls away, a thin string of saliva connects you for a second before breaking. "On your knees, princess."

Obediently, you slide off his lap and kneel between his spread thighs. Jay looks down at you, one hand lazily stroking your hair as he frees himself from his pants — his cock springs out, thick, heavy, and already leaking at the tip.

"Open. Tongue out," he says, tapping your lower lip with two fingers. You open your mouth and obediently stick your tongue out. He leans forward and spits directly into your mouth. The warm, viscous saliva lands on your tongue, degrading in a way that makes you shiver. "Swallow that first," he instructs. You swallow while keeping your eyes locked on his. He nods with a satisfied hum. "Now show me how sorry you are for pushing me today."

You start with kisses along his length before dragging your tongue from base to tip. Jay groans, his fingers tightening in your hair, but he doesn't force you — not yet. His thickness stretches your lips as you finally take him into your mouth. He is big enough that you can only take about half before he hits the back of your throat. Your hand wraps around the base, stroking what does not fit in a steady rhythm.

"Fuck… that’s it," he murmurs, tilting his head back for a moment before his gaze returns to you. He doesn't want to miss a single second of this. "Look at me while you suck it."

You do, looking up at him with teary eyes, and the sight makes his cock twitch in your mouth. When you pull back to catch your breath, he slaps his cock against your tongue a few times, leaving strings of saliva connecting you, before guiding you back down. "Yeah, just like that… good girl."

Between bobs, when you pull back to breathe, you say breathlessly, "I’m sorry for distracting you and for Jake being here." Then he guides you down again.

Jay’s hips start moving, pushing a little deeper and testing your limits. Tears continue to prick your eyes from the stretch, but you keep going, hollowing your cheeks and moaning around him.

When he finally gets close, Jay’s grip tightens, his thighs tense, and his breathing becomes ragged. "I’m going to come. Don’t waste it, swallow everything." You nod around him, doubling your efforts and with a deep groan, he comes down your throat — thick, hot pulses that you swallow eagerly, not letting a single drop escape.

He pulls out slowly, a string of saliva and cum connecting your lips to the tip before it breaks. "Open your mouth. Show me."

You open your mouth, sticking your tongue out to prove you swallowed everything. “That’s my good girl.”

He helps you up, pulls you back into his lap, and kisses you, tasting himself on your tongue. Your hips start moving on their own, pressing against the growing hardness beneath you that makes Jay groan into your mouth, one hand sliding down to grab your bare ass and guide your movements.

"Still not satisfied? Such a greedy little thing." Even though he just came, his cock is already stirring again, hardening beneath you as your wet pussy slides along his length.

You gasp against his mouth, your hands gripping his shoulders. "Jay… I need you so bad."

He answers by kissing you again, but soon pulls back to meet your eyes. "Then take what you want."

You don’t hesitate, not even for a second. Rising on shaky knees, you reach down and align the thick head of his cock against your entrance, and slowly you sink down, gasping at the stretch and every inch that fills you. The lack of a barrier makes him feel impossibly thicker than the last time in his office — hotter, more intimate. The spanked skin of your ass burns as you settle fully against his thighs.

"Fuck," Jay hisses, his head falling back against the couch for a moment as his hands grip your hips hard enough to leave bruises, holding you fully impaled on him. "So wet… so fucking tight like this."

You start moving, rolling your hips in a slow, deep rhythm, the angle letting you feel every ridge and vein raw inside you, pulling broken moans from your throat. One of his hands slips under your shirt to caress one tit while the other stays on your ass, squeezing the soft flesh in time with your movements. The mix of pleasure and stinging burn makes everything more intense.

"That’s right," he growls, thrusting up to meet you. "This is what you wanted all day, isn’t it? My attention. My cock." You lean forward, kissing him messily while you bounce, moving your hips faster.

With a low curse, he wraps his arms around you and suddenly flips you, laying you down on the couch cushions, driving him even deeper which pulls a sharp cry from you.

Now he is on top, pinning you beneath him — one of your legs hooked over his shoulder as he starts thrusting into you with deep, powerful strokes — hips snapping forward, burying himself to the hilt each time and the lack of a condom lets you feel every raw inch.

Clinging to his back, your nails dig in as the pleasure borders on overwhelming. Jay’s face hovers above yours, his hair damp with sweat falling into his eyes. Rhythm falters for a second as he looks at you, something darker flashing across his face, the jealousy from earlier — the image of Jake leaving your apartment — has not disappeared. "Are you on the pill?"

You shake your head, breathless, barely able to form words between moans. "No, I’m not."

He thrusts harder, hitting deep against your cervix as if to emphasize the point. "Good," he growls, eyes locked on yours. "Actually, fucking perfect. Maybe I’ll knock you up tonight, put a baby in you so you won’t even think about another guy like Jake. You’ll stay right here with me, we’ll have a beautiful family, me, you, and our kids. No more distractions."

The words should have shocked you, but in the heat of the moment — with him fucking you raw, his body claiming yours completely — they only send a fresh wave of arousal through you. Moaning loudly, your legs tightening around his waist. "Jay… fuck—"

He groans at your reaction, his hips moving harder. "You like that idea, don’t you? My cum deep inside you, getting you pregnant so everyone knows you’re claimed." One of his hands slides down to press lightly against your stomach, as if he can already imagine it.

The couch creaks beneath you both, the sound of skin slapping against skin and the wet noises of him fucking you filling the room. Jay’s earlier irritation fuels every deep thrust, but so does possessiveness — the need to claim you completely after the stressful day. He presses you deeper into the cushions, his hips moving in a way that grinds against your clit with every stroke.

When you finally come, it is intense — your walls contracting tightly around his cock as you scream his name. Jay follows right after, burying himself as deep as possible, and you feel the hot pulses of his cum filling you, thick and warm.

For long minutes, Jay simply holds you — kissing your neck, your jaw, your swollen lips — his cock softening slowly inside you, but as the minutes stretch on, you feel him coming back to life, pulsing against your sensitive walls. "Already?" There is a playful tone in your voice.

"I can’t help it." He moves, pressing one last kiss to your mouth before slowly pulling out. You moan at the loss, feeling his cum start to leak out of you, but his hand quickly reaches down to push it back inside you with two fingers. "Don’t waste it."

He leans back on the couch, stroking himself until he is fully hard again. "Turn around. Hands on the backrest."

You obey, your body trembling as you shift position, kneeling on the cushions, gripping the top of the backrest and arching your back slightly while Jay moves behind you, his gaze fixed on the evidence of the earlier spanking — your cheeks still red with visible handprints — as one of his palms smooths reverently over the heated skin before squeezing firmly.

"Fuck, look at this… Still so red from your lesson." His cock brushes against your entrance before he thrusts deep inside you in one powerful stroke, the new position letting him sink even deeper as the head of his cock presses against spots that make your toes curl drawing a loud moan from you while you grip the backrest tighter as he bottoms out.

Jay starts fucking you with firm, powerful thrusts — deep and deliberate, the couch creaking beneath you both — as every thrust makes your sore ass bounce and the red marks darken even more with the impact, his eyes unable to leave them while his thumbs press into the soft flesh, pulling you back onto his cock repeatedly.

"These marks… they look so good on you." Without warning, he lands a hard, stinging spank on your right cheek, the already sensitive skin making you cry out and clench hard around his cock as Jay groans at the sensation, his hips stuttering for a moment before he resumes his deep rhythm.

He gives your left cheek another spank, making you writhe and moan again as you push back against him desperately despite the burn — or maybe because of it — the mix of pain and pleasure making you even wetter, the previous creampie turning everything obscenely wet and messy.

"That’s it," he praises, smoothing his hands over the fresh marks he just added. "Squirm for me. I love how sensitive you are right here." He gives you one more spank, lighter this time but still enough to make you shudder, and immediately soothes the area with his hands, massaging the sore flesh while he continues thrusting deep and hard from behind.

Jay leans over you, bracing one hand on the back of the couch beside yours while the other reaches down to rub tight circles on your clit. His chest presses against your back, his lips brushing your ear as he speaks between thrusts. "You’re going to take every drop again, princess. I’m going to give you my babies, keep you so full you won’t even think about anyone else."

When you come again — hard, your vision blurring from the overwhelming sensations — Jay follows right behind, burying himself deep with a groan and flooding you with another load of hot cum. He stays inside you for a long time afterward, thrusting slowly through the aftershocks.

Finally, he pulls out carefully and pulls you into his arms, stroking your back in slow, gentle movements. "You’re a mess, princess. Come on, let me take care of you."

He stands up with you in his arms and carries you to the bathroom. Once inside, he turns on the shower, adjusts the temperature, and removes the rest of both your clothes before guiding you under the hot spray with him where the water cascades over you both. Jay takes his body wash, lathers it between his hands, and runs them over your skin — being extra careful around your sensitive ass, massaging the foam in light circles that ease some of the sting.

"Maybe I was a little too rough tonight," he says, his hands moving along your thighs, cleaning away the evidence of the many rounds. "Work stress got to me, and then seeing Jake… I took it out on you more than I should have. You handled it really well, but I’m sorry if it was too much."

You lean back against his chest, letting the water rinse off the soap as you tilt your head to look at him. "It hurt… but it also felt good. In a weird way. I just hated feeling like I was bothering you earlier. I didn’t want to annoy you while you were working. I just… missed you a lot."

After rinsing you, he turns off the shower, wraps you in a towel first, then himself and dries you carefully, paying extra attention to your ass and rubbing some soothing lotion he finds in the cabinet. "There. Better?"

"Much better," you admit, reaching up to touch his face. "Thank you for taking care of me like this."

He leans down and kisses your forehead. "You make it easy to want to take care of you." Pulling you closer, his voice shifting to something even calmer and more sincere. "I don’t know what I’d do without you around. I can’t imagine coming home and not having you here like this. You just… fit. Right here with me."

You hug him tightly, burying your face in his chest. "I feel the same. I always want to be close to you because you make everything feel better."

Smiling against your hair, Jay guides you to the bed and pulls the covers back, lying down beside you to pull you close against his chest. One arm wraps around you securely, his hand rests gently on your ass — not squeezing, just warm and protective over the sensitive skin.

You snuggle even closer, your leg draped over his as exhaustion finally takes over completely. "Stay the night?" you ask sleepily.

"Wouldn’t dream of leaving," His fingers trace lazy circles on your back until your breathing evens out and you fall asleep.

Next morning you stir slowly, feeling the pleasant ache in your muscles and Jay’s heavy arm draped over your waist, his body curled protectively against your back. He feels you waking up and trails lazy kisses along your shoulder before moving up the side of your neck. "Good morning, baby," he murmurs, his voice still rough with sleep as his hand slides to your stomach. "Sleep well?"

You turn in his arms, smiling despite the slight soreness when you move, and reach up to brush the messy hair from his forehead. "Yes… thanks to you."

He leans in and kisses you properly — slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that makes you melt. At this point, he couldn't care less that neither of you had brushed your teeth yet. "You were incredible last night. Let me make it up to you a little more with breakfast."

Jay borrows a pair of your sweatpants that look comically tight on his incredibly nice ass, making you laugh as he models them. In the kitchen, you work side by side like so many mornings before — he cracks eggs for scrambled eggs while you toast bread and slice fruit. Small touches are stolen throughout: a hand on your lower back as he reaches past you, a quick kiss on your temple when you hand him the salt shaker, a playful bump of his hip against yours.

"You’re in a good mood today," you tease, leaning against the counter while he plates the food.

"I can’t help it when I wake up next to you." He sets the plates on the table and pulls you in for another kiss before you both sit down.

After eating, you start getting ready for college and he for the office. Jay kisses you one more time before heading back to his apartment next door to get ready for work. You take a long shower and, once dressed in jeans and a comfortable blouse, you step out into the hallway at the same time he does, looking impeccable in his work clothes.

He quickly pulls you in for a proper goodbye, hands gently cradling your face as he kiss your forehead, lingering there for a long moment. "Have a good day at class. Text me when you’re done." With one last soft kiss on your lips, he pulls away with a smile. "See you later, princess."

College passes in a whirlwind of classes and notes, but your mind keeps drifting back to Jay — the way he holds you, the sweet words, the kisses. He has not sent many messages during the day, which is a little unusual, but you figure he must be busy at work.

When you finally get home in the early evening, you step into the elevator and press the button for the third floor. Just before the doors close, a woman you have never seen in the building before enters, but something about her face seems vaguely familiar.

The woman smiles politely as the elevator starts moving. Curiosity gets the better of you and before you can stop yourself, you ask, "Hi… do you live here? I’ve been in the building for about two months and I don’t think I’ve seen you around."

She nods, laughing lightly. "Yes, I do, but I’ve been away on a work trip. I’m a lawyer and a complicated case kept me out of town longer than expected. I actually got back this morning."

"Wow. That sounds intense… By the way, my name is y/n. Nice to meet you."

The woman’s smile widens. "Nice to meet you too. Jay has already told me about you. He’s mentioned his sweet neighbor a few times."

Your heart flutters with joy — Jay talked about you to the neighbors. It feels special, like proof that you are really becoming a bigger part of his life. "He did? That’s nice to hear."

The elevator dings on the third floor and you both step out together. A small flicker of confusion crosses your mind — she is going the same way — but you don’t think much of it. Maybe she lives farther down the hall.

Then you see Jay standing there and your face lights up immediately. He hadn't texted you all day, and seeing him now makes excitement bubble up inside you. You walk toward him with a radiant smile.

At the same moment, the woman also walks straight up to him. When she reaches him, she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him — a deep, familiar, affectionate kiss. Jay’s hands settle on her waist automatically as he eagerly kisses her back.

The world stops.

Your feet freeze mid-step and everything inside you turns cold and numb. It takes a moment for your brain to process what you are seeing, but then the pieces fall into place with painful clarity. That was Jay’s wife. The woman in the Polaroid photo he casually said was his "sister." The late-night calls he claimed were from the office. The feminine body wash he said belonged to his mom. The distant restaurant he took you to on your first date, probably so no one nearby would recognize him. The way the doorman sometimes looked at you with that judgmental expression, like he knew something — he did. All the small inconsistencies you had ignored because you were so blinded by how gentle and attentive he seemed.

Every sweet word, every touch, every promise of "you’re mine" had been built on lies. He was married. His heart already belonged to someone else, and you had been nothing but a convenient distraction from the apartment next door — blind, eager, and so in love with the version of him he showed you that you never saw the truth.

Jay’s eyes meet yours over his wife’s shoulder, and for a fraction of a second, something like panic or guilt flashes across his face. The shock turns into pure pain, making you practically run to your door as you fumble for your keys while hot tears blur your vision.

You lean against the door, sliding down to the floor as sobs begin to escape you. Your chest hurts as if someone had ripped a hole in it. All the cute moments — the kisses, the touches, the date, the bouquet — turn ugly and humiliating in your memory.

You cry hard, knees pulled up to your chest, as disappointment turns into shame for having fallen so completely for the man who made you feel special, desired, and loved… and it was all a lie.

The thin walls allow you to hear muffled voices — his wife asking about his day, the normalcy of their conversation only making everything worse. You press your hands over your ears, trying to block out the sound, but the damage is already done. Your heart is shattered.

The man you had grown so attached to — the one who held you so tenderly after sex, who made you breakfast and promised more comfortable days like that — was someone else’s husband, and you had been the other woman without even knowing it.

thank you for reading.

[enchive]

Woah…

[yamazakigin]

Whiny jake solo audio with lots of wet

sounds pls :>

careful what you wish for, love.

NSFW 18+ MDNI

WARNING: just see for yourself ;)

note: yes! i know i said that i don’t do requests, but i too, cannot resist the thrilling temptation of whiny jake audios. so! enjoy this one my fellow little sluts :p

[wonxee]

“ small dick “

warnings ᯓ smut, mdni, bigdick!hoon, unprotected, foul language, enemies to… fuckers? nsfw link

you shouldn’t have said it. not to sunghoon. you were just bantering.

“bitch.”

you laughed. “small dick.”

“really?”

- - - ゛

“ahh-fuck!” you were a squirming mess, your knees pinned to your chest by sunghoon, who was slamming into you so hard that with every thrust, a loud, wet squelch filled your entire apartment. “sss’ too much—agh!” you cried out again from under him. you could barely think, you were too overwhelmed with the mixture of pleasure and pain he was bringing you.

“not so small huh?” he panted out, sweat beading on his temple as he wrapped his hand around himself and pumped what wouldn’t fit inside you.

you cried out with every thrust, his size making you feel full before it was even halfway in. “admit it,” he cooed, still keeping his speed as his grip on your ass tightened.

you couldn’t even focus on looking at sunghoon— your back arched and head thrown back. “y’r— gah-your too big—nggh,”

he pressed his thumb against your clit with enough pressure to get you screaming more than you already were. “ahh— hoon!”

“fuck,” he muttered, now rubbing circles around it as you both tipped over the edge.

your hand flew up to grab sunghoons bicep as you cried out and came around his cock. “mmph—fuck!”

sunghoon filled you up with more cum than you’d ever taken— it was spilling out of you far after he pulled out.

he fell down beside you, both still catching your breath from your orgasms.

“my god.”

[flirticsm]

ACTUALLY ROMANTIC 　　　　　 sunghoon

💭 ˖ flirting or starting a fight?

is your roommate sunghoon actually cold or just in love with you? ⋆｡ hoon 𝑓!reader texts dry / jealous hoon fluff humor suggestive themes ?? twenty screenshots . . .

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