[dietsushii]

BLOG ADVISORY:

TW: this blog contains venting/posts/photos involving disordered eating, body dysmorphia, bipolar, anxiety, personality disorders, addictions etc. if any one of these can trigger you, please leave my blog or block me, I care about you.

I am pro-recovery, but I am not recovered. I want everyone to stay safe and heal from whatever you are dealing with, we all deserve help and health. I don’t want any impressionable people finding this blog and getting encouraged, you don’t want this.

this is a judgment free zone, I’m also here to understand, vent, and be here for one another .

highly preferred only ages 18+ to follow me please

I’m Kat, and I’m a 22 year old girl in a big city in the USA. I have struggled with disordered eating habits for 8 years. I also struggle with bipolar and major anxiety. this is my anonymous public diary and befriending same-minded individuals. this is also a safe space to vent to me, casually talk to me, or for a listener. I post (shitty) food logs, and I am also (born and raised) a vegetarian and converting into a pescatarian for more iron and protein.

*newish account*

MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN! :’)

ACTIVE: MARCH 2021

[lostalittleweight]

[skinnyminyoongi]

Getting back into restricting is honestly the best feeling in the world. It makes you feel like you FINALLY have control over yourself again.

[dietsushii]

*not promoting just venting*

[dietsushii]

reblogging this because I feel like my control is finally back.

*not promoting*

[dietsushii]

oh my god, I’ve come back to over 500+ followers while I’ve been gone for my mental health (my bipolar not disordered eating.)

I’m doing good on my new medication and haven’t gained weight from it, but mainly have been sleeping.

hello new and old followers, how is everyone?

[dietsushii]

Feb 5th 2020

hi guys.

just an update that I’m doing “fine”, and I’m sorry I haven’t checked up on any of you :’)

my mania is getting really bad with my bipolar so I’ve literally been on a nonstop binge of drinking, and kinda ruining my life. this old guy I was in love with came back into my life, and also has been totally distracting my fucked up head.

I remember writing down to document my thoughts just to myself and how I was feeling “I’m too busy trying to starve myself than have men interfere with me.”

hope everyone is doing well—I’m trying to slow down on the alcohol. :( it’s not healthy not eating and combining the two, hence why I haven’t been blog posting out of shame

I feel out of control. as stupid as this sounds when I was doing so well just calorie counting and meal plans and avoiding alcohol and avoiding people I felt so much fucking better than whatever the fuck I got going on now.

[dietsushii]

If anybody wants to talk and vent I’m here, even though I suck at responding I’ll try to respond tonight :’)

[dietsushii]

I’m drunk again part 2 but this time I’m really in my feels and can’t stop crying lol

[dietsushii]

Feb 01’

another skip food log day since my friends are watching me like a hawk

I wanna be home but my car is fucked up again lol

I seriously feel like I’ve eaten so much I’m freaking the fuck out

[skinnyminyoongi]

Getting back into restricting is honestly the best feeling in the world. It makes you feel like you FINALLY have control over yourself again.

[dietsushii]

*not promoting just venting*

[dietsushii]

no food log yesterday—my close friends are noticing my behavior is getting weird/losing weight so I had to eat as “normal as possible” in front of them.

I feel like shit cause we also got too drunk.

side note, one of my close friends had a really bad disordered eating problem in the past, and a toxic/triggering “ana buddy” in high school. I don’t want to trigger her and show any signs I’m not in a recovery mindset, I care about her.

day late/lazy Jan 31’ food log:

1 “kind” granola bar

cup of coffee

sugar free Red Bull

after work with friends

small bowl of pasta with pesto

bite of a brownie

2 alcoholic high noons seltzer’s

15oz of apothic red wine

half a bottle of barefoot merlot

estimated intake 1400(??)

[dietsushii]

jan 30’ food log/daily ramble:

breakfast:

‘good foods made simple’ breakfast burrito - 263 calories

cup of Columbia coffee - 2 calories

lunch:

skipped

dinner:

4 x spinach and feta “spanakopitas” - 227 calories

sriracha - 0 calories

daily net: 492 calories

I’m home safe in regards to my last post

happy to be back at work, and it was high key triggering people noticing my weight loss and I actually felt so awkward with my body. it’s weird. not bad awkward, but I did feel different. they always saw me as a “thin/average” girl—so now they are wondering why/how I got skinnier

I skipped the “not eating after work rule” when I get home late (have you guys noticed I suck at following rules for myself...?) I’ll just eat light for dinners after work—I’m walking too much anyways

I’m receiving a lot of new followers! I’m trying to keep up and follow back and be mutuals with everyone! thank you for finding me :’). hope you lovelies had a great day and stay safe.

[dietsushii]

*tw weight talk*

holy shit my work clothes are way too big on me from when I was at my highest weight holy fucking shit ok I’m not sad anymore

[dietsushii]

wow I’m actually getting close to my GW—

then what....?

we all know I won’t truly be happy.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

chugging water and just trusting it’ll do what needs doing

[bunnysims3]

Me: I know weight fluctuates it won’t bother me I want to weigh myself everyday just to see!

Me when my weight fluctuates up instead of down:

[dietsushii]

jan 29’ food log/daily ramble:

breakfast: skipped

lunch:

habanero lime tortilla + 1/2 cup fat-free beans + sautéed red onions, red peppers, jalapeños + 2 tablespoons jalapeño creme salsa - burrito

320 calories

dinner:

2 pieces healthy-life low cal wheat bread + 1 slice low fat 2% American cheese - grilled cheese

1 oz low-fat kettle salt and pepper chips

255 calories

daily net: 575 calories

officially starting work back tomorrow after a 2 week break. I’m curious if anyone will notice my weight loss. food diaries might be a little different since I stay so late after work. on my off days I’ve been eating a period between 2P.M.-7P.M. but with work starting I may just eat a big breakfast, then a protein bar while working, to avoid eating SOOO late.

hope everyone’s having a good night! :’) I’ve been really staying on top of my skin care routine and I’m happy.

[pariaaaaah]