do not read this if you are nearly starting your period, it’s midnight and you have an insanely incurable crush on Jason Todd. All at once. Other than that PLEASEE READ IT
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
content damian wayne x gn! reader, vigilante! reader, aged up damian, metahuman! reader, angst, slow burn, lonely morally grey reader, memory/identity curse, first kiss, emotional hurt/comfort, identity erasure, loneliness/isolation, abandonment trauma, childhood neglect, violence, murder/lethal vigilantism, blood/injury, emotional distress, fear of being forgotten, emotional vulnerability, abandonment trauma, trauma responses, violence/injury, blood, canon-typical gotham violence, angst with comfort, identity insecurity, fear of being loved then forgotten.
masterlist
wordcount 11.1k
you have lived your whole life being forgotten the second people look away. when you save damian wayne and vanish from his memory, he does the impossible: he starts looking for you anyway. he cannot remember you, but every version of him keeps choosing to find you again.
The first time Damian Wayne met you, you killed three men in front of him.
To be fair, they had been trying to kill him first.
The warehouse was already burning by then, heat crawling up the rusted walls in orange veins, smoke thick enough to make even his lenses stutter. Damian had lost comms seven minutes ago. His left shoulder had been dislocated four minutes ago. His sword had been knocked from his hand ninety seconds ago. And the man in front of him had a gun pressed beneath his jaw.
“Any last words, little bird?”
Damian hated being called little. He hated guns more. He was considering three options, all with a poor probability of success and an irritatingly high probability of dying, when the man holding the gun suddenly stopped smiling.
His eyes went wide.
A blade punched cleanly through his throat.
Damian did not flinch. He did, however, blink.
The body dropped. Behind it stood you.
You were not dressed like one of them. That was the first thing he noticed. No tactical insignia, no gang colours, no theatrics. Just dark clothes, a hood pulled low, a half-mask covering the lower part of your face, and a long knife held loosely in one hand as if violence bored you.
The second thing Damian noticed was that you were looking directly at him. Not at the gunman. Not at the fire.
At him.
“Robin,” you said, dry as dust. “You look terrible.”
Damian’s eyes narrowed behind his domino. “Who are you?”
You tilted your head. “Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
Two more men rushed from behind a stack of crates. You moved before Damian could.
You moved like someone who had stopped caring whether the world saw them coming.
The first man lost his gun hand. The second lost his breath when your knee cracked into his sternum. Damian lunged for his fallen sword, pain detonating white-hot through his shoulder, but by the time his fingers closed around the hilt, both attackers were on the ground.
One dead. One bleeding out.
Damian stared.
You wiped your blade against the dead man’s coat with an expression that suggested the fabric had personally offended you.
“You kill,” Damian said.
“So do they.” You glanced at him. “I’m just better at it.”
“You are not sanctioned.”
A laugh slipped from you, low and sharp. “By who? Your father? Cute.”
Damian stepped toward you. His vision blurred. The smoke, he realised too late. Too much of it. His lungs seized. His injured shoulder throbbed. His balance faltered.
You were in front of him in an instant.
“Don’t be dramatic,” you muttered, catching him before he could hit the concrete.
“I am not—”
“Currently collapsing in a burning warehouse? Yeah. Very dignified.”
Damian tried to shove you away. His arm refused to obey. You looked down at him, and for one impossible second, your sarcasm cracked.
Something ancient and tired moved behind your eyes. “Stay awake, Robin.”
“Who,” Damian forced out, “are you?”
Your grip tightened. “Nobody.”
Then you dragged him out of the fire.
By the time Batman arrived, Damian was alone. Three bodies were inside the warehouse. His sword was at his side. His shoulder had been reset.
And Damian Wayne had absolutely no memory of how he had escaped.
The report was unacceptable. Damian knew it before Bruce said anything.
He stood in the cave with one arm strapped across his chest, jaw clenched, while his father reviewed the footage on the main computer. Or, more accurately, the lack of footage.
“Your body camera cut out at 23:41,” Bruce said.
“The smoke disrupted the lens.”
“The audio went out three seconds later.”
“Interference.”
“And then?”
Damian’s mouth tightened.
And then nothing. He remembered the gun. The heat. The pressure beneath his jaw. The moment he had calculated his odds and found them unpleasant. Then he remembered waking outside beneath the rain, coughing ash onto the pavement while Batman’s cape blocked the streetlights overhead.
Between those moments lay a void.
Damian hated voids.
“I escaped,” he said.
Bruce looked at him. Damian hated that look, too. “Your shoulder had been reset.”
“I am aware.”
“Did you do that yourself?”
“No.”
“Who did?”
Damian’s fingers curled. “I do not know.”
Silence stretched, broken only by the low hum of the cave systems and the faint chittering of bats overhead.
Bruce replayed the broken footage again. Gun beneath Damian’s chin. Smoke. Static. Black.
Damian watched the blank screen with a fury that felt embarrassingly close to fear.
Someone had been there. Someone had touched him. Moved him. Saved him.
And he could not remember.
That was unacceptable.
You watched him from the roof across the street.
He returned to the warehouse the next night. You should have known he would. Robins were like mould: persistent, invasive, and very hard to kill.
This one was different, though. Older than the rumours still liked to call him. Not a boy anymore, though Gotham had a bad habit of keeping its children trapped in headlines. Nineteen, maybe twenty. Tall enough now that the cape sat differently on his shoulders. Sharper through the jaw. Still too proud for his own good.
Still alive because of you.
You hated that part. Saving people was always the beginning of trouble.
He moved through the remains of the warehouse like a ghost with a grudge, scanning scorch marks, blood patterns, boot prints. He crouched near the place where the gunman had died and touched two fingers to the concrete.
You had cleaned your blade before leaving. Burned the fibres. Taken the shell casings. Broken every camera in a four-block radius.
Still, Damian found something. A thread, maybe. A scratch. A breath you had left behind.
His head lifted. You went still.
There it was. That flicker. Not recognition. No one recognised you. Recognition required memory, and memory slipped off you like rain from glass the moment eyes turned away.
But Damian’s gaze sharpened toward your rooftop.
Instinct. Annoying. Impressive.
Loneliness, treacherous little beast that it was, stirred inside your ribs.
“No,” you whispered to yourself.
Below, Damian stood. His hand drifted toward his sword.
You stepped back from the roof’s edge.
For one heartbeat, the moon touched your face.
Damian looked directly at you.
Your stomach dropped. You should have run. Instead, you froze like an idiot.
He fired a grappling line.
“Seriously?” you muttered.
Then you ran.
You were good at vanishing. You had to be. When you were eight years old, your teacher looked away from you during roll call and forgot you were in the classroom. At nine, your neighbour saw you fall from your bike, turned to call for help, and came back wondering why there was blood on the sidewalk.
At eleven, your parents started leaving notes on the fridge. Child. Name unknown. Lives here? And by thirteen, there were no notes. By fourteen, you stopped waiting at dinner tables. By fifteen, you learned that criminals were easier to live around than civilians. Criminals did not ask why you slept in abandoned buildings. They did not remember your face long enough to betray you. And when they hurt people, no one grieved if they disappeared.
By seventeen, you had a knife. By eighteen, you knew how to use it.
Now, you moved through Gotham like a rumour with teeth.
Someone would see you in an alley. Look away. Forget. Someone would hear your voice. Turn their head. Gone. Someone would bleed beneath your blade and die terrified, not because of death, but because in the last second of life, they understood they were being killed by someone the world itself refused to hold.
You had spent years pretending that it did not hurt.
Pretending worked, mostly. Right up until Robin started chasing you. He chased you across three rooftops, over a skybridge, down a fire escape, and through the top floor of an unfinished apartment complex.
He was fast. You were faster. He was trained. You were desperate.
“Stop,” Damian ordered.
You laughed, breathless. “Wow. Has that ever worked for you?”
He threw a birdarang. You ducked. It sliced through your hood, pinning fabric to a wooden beam behind you. You slipped out of it and kept moving.
Damian landed hard in front of you, sword drawn. “Enough.”
You stopped because the blade was pointed at your throat. Also, because, for the first time in years, someone had chased you long enough to get tired. It made something in your chest ache.
Damian’s eyes narrowed. “You were at the warehouse.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
His grip tightened. “Do not lie to me.”
“Fine. I was near the warehouse.”
“You saved me.”
“Technically, gravity did most of the work.”
“You reset my shoulder.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You killed those men.”
“They were going to kill you.”
“That was not your decision to make.”
Your expression flattened. “I forgot. Bats love moral lectures. Very on-brand. Do you practice in mirrors, or does brooding just come naturally?”
His blade did not move. “Who are you?”
You smiled behind your mask. There it was. The question everyone asked once.
Only once.
“Look away,” you said.
Damian did not. “Answer me.”
“Look away.”
“No.”
Your laugh came out softer than you intended. “Smart.”
His eyes flicked, just once, to the shadow behind you. A tactical glance. Less than a second.
It was enough.
His face changed. Not dramatically. Damian Wayne had too much discipline for that. But his brow furrowed. His mouth tightened. The sword at your throat shifted as confusion passed through him. He blinked. Then focused on you again as if seeing you for the first time.
“Who are you?” he demanded.
There it was. The old familiar knife. You should have been used to it. You were used to it.
You were.
“Wow,” you said lightly. “Déjà vu. Embarrassing for you.”
Damian’s eyes darkened. “What did you do?”
“Nothing.”
“You did something.”
“Story of my life.”
He looked away again, scanning the room for traps. When his eyes returned to you, the confusion reset.
His sword lifted. “Identify yourself.”
Something inside you curled up small and cold.
You stepped closer to the blade until the edge kissed the fabric over your throat. “My power,” you said, voice suddenly flat, “is that nobody remembers me.”
Damian stared. “You are a metahuman.”
“Sure.”
“What is the mechanism?”
“Do I look like a scientist?”
“You appear insufferable.”
“Aw. You remembered an opinion for three seconds. Progress.”
His eyes narrowed. You waited.
His gaze flicked down to your hands. Gone. Again. When he looked back up, his expression sharpened with renewed alarm.
You laughed before he could speak. It sounded ugly.
“Don’t worry,” you said. “This is the part where you threaten me, interrogate me, look away, forget what you were asking, and then I leave. Classic. Very popular sequence.”
Damian did not answer. Instead, without looking away from your face, he slowly reached into his utility belt.
You tensed.
He pulled out a marker. Then, with his gaze still locked on yours, he uncapped it with his teeth and wrote on the inside of his left wrist.
You watched despite yourself.
DO NOT LOOK AWAY. PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU EXISTS.
Your mouth went dry.
Damian finished writing. Then, deliberately, he looked at his wrist.
You vanished from his mind. You saw it happen. You always saw it happen. His pupils shifted. His body went rigid. His eyes scanned the words.
DO NOT LOOK AWAY. PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU EXISTS.
Slowly, slowly, he looked up.
He saw you. He did not remember you. But he believed himself.
That was new.
“Explain,” he said.
Your heart, stupid and starved, gave one fragile little kick. You crushed it immediately. “No.”
Damian’s jaw set.
You stepped backwards into shadow. “Don’t follow me.”
“I will.”
“I know.” You sighed. “That was more of a polite suggestion.”
Then you dropped through the unfinished floor before he could stop you.
By the time he reached the lower level, you were gone. But on his wrist, in his own handwriting, proof remained.
PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU EXISTS.
Damian did not sleep. This was not unusual. What was unusual was the wall.
Three nights after the warehouse, Damian’s room contained forty-seven handwritten notes, twelve printed maps, six blood-spatter diagrams, and one sketch of a figure he could not remember drawing. The figure wore a half-mask. The lines were precise, though incomplete around the face. Every time he tried to sketch the eyes from memory, the image dissolved. Not physically. The paper remained.
His mind simply refused to hold the connection. It enraged him.
So he adapted.
At the top of the wall, he wrote: SUBJECT: FORGET-ME-NOT Then, beneath it: Known effects: Memory loss triggered when direct attention breaks. Written records persist. Video uncertain, beed test. Physical evidence persists. Emotional response may persist after memory loss. Subject saves civilians but uses lethal force. Subject saved me. Subject is alone.
Damian stared at the last line for a long time. He did not remember writing it. That bothered him more than the rest.
There were other notes too.
Do not trust first instinct upon seeing Subject. You have met before. Subject uses sarcasm defensively. Irritating. Possibly deliberate. Subject appears resigned when forgotten. Do not forget: forgetting harms them.
The final note was carved harder into the paper than the others. Damian ran a thumb over the indentation. He had no memory of the conversation that caused it.
Still, anger rose in him. Not at you.
At the fact that the world could look at a person and let them disappear.
You should have left Gotham. You knew that. You had left cities for less.
A cop in Blüdhaven once remembered the shape of your hand for nearly four seconds after looking away. You were on a train by morning. A telepath in Metropolis once frowned at you and said, “That’s strange.” You were out of the state within the hour.
Survival was simple: never wait to be wanted. Wanting was a trap.
So, naturally, you stayed.
Because Damian Wayne kept leaving evidence that he was looking for you. A chalk mark on a rooftop you used often. A camera angled toward an alley with a handwritten sign taped above it IF YOU SEE THIS, I AM TRYING TO SPEAK WITH YOU. A packet tucked beneath a gargoyle containing protein bars, medical supplies, burner comms, and a note. I do not know whether you need these. Take them anyway.
You threw the protein bars away. Then retrieved them ten minutes later. You were lonely, not stupid.
The burner comm you kept for three days before turning it on.
Immediately, a message appeared. This is Robin.
You stared at it.
Another message followed. If this device is active, I assume you have it.
Another. I will not ask you to meet in person unless you agree.
Another. I do not remember you. That does not mean you are not real.
Your throat tightened.
You hated him a little for that one.
So you typed, This is extremely dramatic.
The reply came thirty seconds later. You have met my father. I assure you this is restrained.
A laugh escaped before you could stop it. It startled you. The sound felt foreign. Like opening a door in a house you thought had burned down.
You typed, Your handwriting is terrible btw.
My handwriting is exceptional.
Your R looks like a stabbed insect.
A pause. Then, Noted.
The next chalk message you found two nights later had perfect block letters.
Smug little freak.
Damian learned around the shape of you. That was the only way to describe it. He could not remember you directly, but he built scaffolding around the absence.
Notes on his gloves. Voice memos recorded while staring at you, played back after he forgot. Sketches done in real time, each labelled with date, location, and emotional impression.
Subject looked tired tonight. Subject pretended not to care about antiseptic. Lied poorly. Subject dislikes being thanked. Continue thanking them. Subject laughed at 02:13. Remember that this matters.
You found that one in his notebook when you absolutely were not snooping.
“You are snooping,” Damian said.
You snapped the notebook shut. “I am investigating.”
“You are holding my private notes.”
“You left them where anyone could read them.”
“They were in my hand.”
“Skill issue.”
Damian looked unimpressed.
You were perched on the edge of a rooftop HVAC unit, swinging one leg like you had not just been caught reading the closest thing anyone had ever made to a record of you. He stood three feet away, refusing to break eye contact.
He had learned that trick too. It made conversations tense. Intimate. Weird.
“You should not kill,” he said.
You groaned. “We were having such a nice moment.”
“We were not.”
“You were writing about my laugh.”
His ears went faintly pink. Fascinating. “I record relevant behavioural data.”
“My laugh is relevant?”
“It is an indicator of trust.”
“Wow.” You placed a hand over your heart. “Talk dirty to me, Robin.”
His blush deepened. Your smile faded before he could see how much you liked it.
Dangerous. Hope was dangerous.
Damian stepped closer. “You use humour to redirect.”
“You use analysis to avoid feelings.”
“I do not avoid feelings.”
“You dress like a bat-themed traffic warning and punch people at night.”
He opened his mouth. Closed it. “That is irrelevant.”
“That is what people say when things are relevant.”
He glared. You smiled. Then his gaze flicked, involuntarily, to the notebook in your hands.
And it happened. His expression emptied of you. Just slightly. Just enough.
He looked back up. His hand went to his sword. “Who are—”
You tossed the notebook at his chest. He caught it.
“Read page twelve,” you said.
Damian looked down.
You watched him reconstruct you from ink. Watched his own words pull him back to the edge of belief. Watched him breathe in slowly.
His eyes returned to yours. Not remembering. Choosing anyway.
“I apologise,” he said.
You flinched. It was small. He noticed.
“Don’t,” you said.
“I forgot.”
“Everyone does.”
“That does not make it acceptable.”
You laughed once, but there was no humour in it. “Careful, Wayne. You keep saying things like that, and I’ll start thinking you mean them.”
“I do.”
That was the problem.
You looked away first. The second you did, you knew he would forget the exact softness that had passed between you.
But you remembered. You always remembered.
Lucky you.
Damian’s family noticed eventually. Of course they did. A Bat could hide a stab wound for six hours, but not a new obsession. The dramatic irony was almost cute.
Tim found the wall first. He stared at the notes. Then at Damian. Then back at the notes.
“Okay,” Tim said. “Not to be rude, but this is either a case board or the beginning of a gothic romance.”
Damian snatched a sketch off the wall. “Leave.”
“Gothic romance. Got it.”
“Drake.”
“Does your mysterious murder cryptid have a name?”
Damian went still. “No.”
Tim’s expression shifted. Gentler. More dangerous. “You don’t know?”
“No one does.”
That shut him up. For almost three seconds, which for Tim Drake was basically a vow of silence. Then Tim stepped closer to the board. “You think there’s a cognitive effect?”
“I know there is.”
“On everyone?”
“Yes.”
“Even you?”
Damian’s jaw tightened. “Especially me.”
Tim read the notes in silence. Then said, “That’s horrifying.”
“Yes.”
“And lonely.”
Damian looked at the sketch in his hand. The eyes were incomplete again. “Yes,” he said.
Later, after Tim left, Damian added another note. Ask Subject what they want. Do not assume rescue equals cure.
He underlined it twice.
“What do you want?” Damian asked.
You stopped sharpening your knife. That question was worse than who are you. At least who are you had an easy answer. Nobody. Nothing. Gone already.
“What?” you said.
Damian sat across from you on the rooftop, knees bent, forearms resting loosely against them. He had taken off the domino. You hated when he did that. It made him look too human. Too young. Too beautiful in a way that was absolutely none of your business.
“What do you want?” he repeated.
“A vacation. Better coffee. The Joker dead. A nap long enough to be classified as a coma.”
“I am serious.”
“That’s tragic.”
“Forget-Me-Not.”
You froze.
He had never called you that out loud before. The name should have sounded clinical. It should have sounded like one more label pinned to the body-shaped hole you left in the world.
But Damian said it like a promise. Quiet. Careful. Yours, almost.
You looked away. The city blurred beneath you. “Don’t call me that.”
“What should I call you?”
You laughed under your breath. “Doesn’t matter. You won’t remember.”
“I will write it down.”
“That isn’t the same.”
“No,” Damian said. “It is not.”
The honesty almost hurt worse than comfort would have. You swallowed.
“My parents had a name for me,” you said. Damian went very still. “I don’t use it anymore.”
“Why?”
“Because they stopped.” You hated the silence that followed. You hated that he did not rush to fill it. You hated that some part of you wanted him to. “I was little,” you continued, because apparently your mouth had decided to betray the whole fortress. “When it started. At first, people just… misplaced me. Teachers skipped over me. Kids forgot games halfway through playing them. My parents thought it was stress. Then a phase. Then a curse. Then…” You smiled thinly. “Then I became a note on the fridge.”
Damian said nothing.
You picked at a loose thread on your sleeve. “One day, I came home and there were no notes. No dinner plate. No bed made up. My room was storage. My mother looked right at me, turned to call my father, and when she turned back, she screamed because there was a stranger in her house.” Your voice did not break. You were proud of that. “She forgot me faster than she could love me.”
Damian’s hands curled.
You looked at him then. Big mistake. His face held rage, but not the kind people usually aimed at you. This was not fear. Not suspicion.
This was fury on your behalf.
Hope sparked again. Tiny. Stupid. Cruel.
You crushed it badly this time. Not enough.
“That’s why you kill,” he said.
You snorted. “No. I kill because some people deserve to stop breathing.”
“Your loneliness informs your methods.”
“Careful. That almost sounded like empathy.”
“It was.”
“Gross.”
Damian’s mouth twitched. There. A near-smile. The kind of thing a person could get addicted to if they were very dumb and had no self-preservation.
You stood too quickly. “I should go.”
Damian stood too. “Stay.”
The word struck between you like a thrown blade.
You stared at him. He looked startled by himself. Then determined, because of course he did. Damian Wayne would fight God before admitting a feeling caught him off guard.
“Stay,” he repeated. “For ten minutes.”
“Why?”
“So I can remember you for ten minutes.”
Your chest hurt. “Damian.”
His name came out before you could stop it.
He inhaled sharply. You had never said it before.
Not Robin. Not Wayne.
Damian. Like he was a person. Like you were a person.
His voice softened. “Please.”
You hated hope. You hated it. You hated how it bloomed anyway.
So you sat back down. For ten minutes, Damian Wayne looked at you and did not forget. For ten minutes, you existed in someone else’s mind.
It was not enough.
It was everything.
The breakthrough came from a mistake. Damian was injured. Not badly, he insisted, which meant badly enough that anyone sane would seek medical attention. You found him in an alley behind the Iceberg Lounge, bleeding from a cut across his ribs and trying to staple himself shut with one hand.
“You look terrible,” you said.
He looked up sharply. For half a second, his face relaxed.
Not recognition. Never recognition. But something close.
“Forget-Me-Not.”
“You remembered?”
“No.” He glanced at the writing on his wrist. “I prepared.”
Of course he did.
You crouched beside him and slapped his hand away. “I can do it.”
“I’ve seen you try to stitch with your off-hand. It was like watching a raccoon defuse a bomb.”
“Your concern is touching.”
“My concern is impatient.”
You cleaned the wound while he stared at you. The eye contact had become easier.
No. That was a lie. It had become more unbearable.
Because Damian watched like attention was devotion. Like looking could be a form of shelter. Like if he just tried hard enough, the universe would be forced to admit you were there.
“You’re going to need stitches,” you said.
“I know.”
“This will hurt.”
“I know.”
“Don’t do that macho thing.”
“I do not do a macho thing.”
“You were raised by Batman and assassins. You absolutely do a macho thing.”
His lips twitched.
You started stitching. His breath hitched once, controlled and sharp.
Without thinking, you placed your free hand over his.
A stupid comfort. A forgettable comfort.
Damian looked down at your joined hands. You felt the moment his memory dropped.
His fingers tensed. You tried to pull away.
He caught your hand.
Not hard. Just enough.
His eyes were still on your hands. He should have forgotten you. He had forgotten you.
But he did not let go.
Slowly, he looked back up. His expression was confused. Then he saw your face. Then the note on his wrist. Then your hand in his. His thumb moved once against your knuckles.
“I forgot,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“But I did not release you.”
You stared at him.
He looked down again, testing. Memory vanished from his face. His hand remained around yours. Up again.
Reconstruction. Understanding.
“Physical contact,” he said.
Your pulse stumbled. “What?”
“Physical contact may preserve some continuity. Not memory, but intent. Somatic anchoring.”
“You are such a nerd.”
“Yes,” Damian said, eyes bright now in a way that made him look younger. “And you are holding my hand.”
You dropped it immediately. He looked smug for exactly one second before wincing because smugness apparently pulled stitches.
“Don’t get excited,” you said. “It was medical.”
“Of course.”
“I would hold anyone’s hand while sewing their ribs shut.”
“Your bedside manner is abysmal.”
“You’re welcome.”
That night, Damian wrote seventeen pages about somatic anchoring. You pretended not to read them.
You read them three times.
After that, things changed. Not fixed. Never fixed. This was not a fairy tale. Gotham ate fairy tales, picked the bones clean, and sold them back as cautionary graffiti.
Damian still forgot you. Every night. Every conversation. Every time his gaze broke, even for a breath too long.
But now he built ways back. A touch to his wrist. A note in his palm. A recording in his own voice, You trust them. Do not reach for your sword. Ask whether they have eaten.
The first time that recording played, you nearly threw his comm off a roof.
“Ask whether I’ve eaten?” you demanded. “What am I, a stray cat?”
Damian looked you up and down.
You hissed, “Don’t.”
“You do frequent rooftops.”
“I will stab you.”
“You also resist care despite needing it.”
“Damian.”
“And you accepted tuna from Brown last week.”
“That was sushi, you rich gremlin.”
He looked pleased. It was awful.
You started staying longer. That was the dangerous part. Five minutes became ten. Ten became an hour. An hour became patrol routes where Damian would glance at you every few seconds, stubborn as sunrise, refusing to let you vanish if he could help it.
Sometimes he failed. A lot of times, he failed. You learned the shape of his forgetting. The slight tightening of his stance. The way his eyes flicked cold before his notes thawed him. The apology he gave every time, even when you told him to stop.
Especially then.
“I apologise.”
“Don’t.”
“I hurt you.”
“You forgot me. That’s different.”
“No,” Damian said once, quiet beneath the rain. “It is not.”
You had no joke for that. So you stood beside him in silence while Gotham glittered wet and cruel below.
Your shoulder brushed his. He did not move away.
Neither did you.
The first time he kissed you, he forgot you halfway through. It was, objectively, a disaster.
You were laughing when it happened, which made it worse.
Damian had been trying to explain a new theory involving tactile recall, mnemonic loops, and Zatanna, because apparently the Bats’ solution to metaphysical trauma was “call a magician and make three spreadsheets.”
“You made a spreadsheet about me?”
“Several.”
“That is either romantic or a federal concern.”
“You are deflecting.”
“You are flirting with data.”
“I am flirting with you.”
You stopped breathing. Damian stopped too. The city wind moved between you.
“Don’t say things you won’t remember,” you whispered.
His expression changed. Softened. “I may not remember saying them,” he said, “but I have written them in twenty-three places. I have recorded them in my own voice. I have told Drake, Cain, and Pennyworth. I have carved reminders into my routines until my life bends around the fact of you.”
Your eyes burned. “Damian.”
“I do not remember you the way I should,” he said. “But I know this: every version of myself that finds the evidence chooses you again.”
Oh. That was unfair.
That was so unfair.
You stepped back, but he caught your hand.
“Do not run.”
“I’m very good at running.”
“I know.”
“You don’t know anything.”
His thumb pressed against your pulse. “I know enough.”
You laughed once, broken and small. “You’re going to look away one day and not look back.”
“No.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No,” he agreed. “I do not. But I know I have looked back every time so far.”
There was no defence against that. None.
You kissed him first. Because you were tired of being a ghost. Because you wanted one thing before the world took it. Because hope was a cruel little weed growing through concrete, and maybe you were tired of ripping it out.
Damian made a soft sound against your mouth, startled, then certain. His hand rose to your jaw. His other hand stayed locked around yours. For one blazing second, you were held in memory and body both.
Then a siren wailed below. His eyes flicked toward the street.
You felt him forget. His mouth stilled. His hand tensed.
You pulled back before his confusion could finish forming.
Damian blinked at you, alarmed. Then looked at your joined hands. At the note written across his glove. You love them. Breathe. His face went scarlet.
You stared. He stared.
“Oh my god,” you said hoarsely. “You wrote that on your glove?”
Damian cleared his throat. “It seemed practical.”
“You are insane.”
“Likely.”
“You forgot me during our first kiss.”
His eyes widened. Then narrowed at himself, offended. “Unacceptable.”
You laughed. You laughed so hard your eyes spilled over.
Damian looked stricken.
“No,” you said quickly, wiping your face. “No, I’m not— I’m not laughing because it hurt.”
Though it did. Of course it did. Everything did. But not only. Not anymore.
“I’m laughing because you look personally betrayed by your own brain.”
“I am.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I will do better next time.” Next time. The words landed softly. Carefully. Like a coat around cold shoulders.
“You want a next time?” you asked.
Damian looked at the glove again. Then at you. He did not remember the kiss. But his mouth curved faintly. “I apparently insisted upon it in writing.”
You smiled despite yourself. “Okay, Wayne.”
His hand tightened around yours. “Okay?”
You leaned in until your forehead touched his. “Next time.”
He closed his eyes.
Panic shot through you. But his hand stayed in yours. His forehead stayed against yours. And when he opened his eyes again, the confusion came. Then the note. Then the choice.
Always the choice.
“There you are,” he said softly.
Your breath caught.
He did not remember saying it before. Maybe he never had. Maybe he would say it again.
Maybe that was enough to survive on. For now.
Zatanna could not cure you. Not fully.
You expected that. You told yourself you expected that. Still, when she stood in the cave beneath the cold blue light and said, “I’m sorry,” something in you folded inward.
Damian’s hand found yours immediately. Anchoring. Always anchoring.
Zatanna’s expression was gentle in a way you did not know what to do with. “It isn’t just magic,” she said. “There’s magic in it, yes, but also metahuman biology, trauma response, maybe even a curse that attached itself to your ability when you were young. It’s tangled.”
“Great,” you said. “Love being a group project.”
Tim, from behind three laptops, whispered, “Honestly, same.”
Damian glared at him.
Zatanna continued, “I may be able to help reduce the effect. Create anchors. People who consent to remembering you may be able to retain emotional continuity longer. Names may hold power. Touch helps. Written records help. Repetition helps.”
You swallowed. “But no cure.”
“Not today.”
Not today. It was not a yes. It was not a no.
Hope, again. That annoying little weed.
Damian looked at you. You knew he was waiting for you to break first. To scoff. To run. To turn cold before disappointment could touch you.
Instead, you looked at your hand in his. At the ink on his wrist. At the wall of notes behind him. At the sketch he had redrawn so many times the eyes were finally starting to look like yours.
“I don’t know how to do this,” you admitted. Your voice sounded too small in the cave.
Damian’s thumb moved over your knuckles. “Neither do I.”
“You hate not knowing things.”
“I do.”
“This could take years.”
“Then we will require more notebooks.”
You laughed wetly. He looked proud of himself.
Little menace.
“You’ll forget me,” you said.
His expression sobered. “Yes.”
No pretty lie. No softening the blade. Just truth.
Then he lifted your joined hands. “And I will find you again.”
You closed your eyes. For once, when someone looked away, you did not disappear completely.
Damian forgot. Then read the note. Then remembered enough. His hand stayed around yours.
When you opened your eyes, he was watching you with that familiar, stubborn, impossible focus. Like the universe had made a rule, and Damian Wayne had taken it personally.
“Hello,” he said carefully. Your heart broke. Your heart healed. Both, maybe.
“Hi,” you whispered.
His gaze dropped to the note on his wrist. Then back to you.
A small smile touched his mouth. “There you are.”
And for the first time in a very long time, you believed him.
The first thing Damian remembered was your laugh. Not your face. Not your voice. Not the exact shape of your hand in his.
Just the laugh.
It came to him three days after Zatanna’s visit, in the middle of sparring with Cass. He was blocking a strike to his ribs when the sound flickered through his mind—quiet, sharp, unwilling, like joy had snuck into your chest and gotten caught trying to escape.
Damian froze. Cass’ foot stopped half an inch from his knee. She tilted her head. Damian lowered his sword.
“I remember something,” he said.
Cass blinked once. Then smiled. Small. Knowing.
Damian hated being known by people who could read body language like scripture.
“What?” she asked.
His mouth opened. For one terrifying second, the memory slipped. Not gone. Slipping.
Damian’s hand snapped to his wrist, where his notes were written in dark ink. FORGET-ME-NOT EXISTS. DO NOT TRUST ABSENCE. THEY ARE REAL.
But he did not need them. The sound returned. A laugh on a rooftop. Rain on metal. Your voice saying, You are flirting with data.
His heart struck hard against his ribs.
“Their laugh,” he said, stunned.
Cass lowered her foot fully. Damian stared at nothing.
He remembered. Not because of a note. Not because of a recording. Not because his past self had left breadcrumbs like a man wandering through a cursed forest.
He remembered something of you.
On his own.
You did not believe him. Naturally.
“That’s adorable,” you said flatly. “Have you considered brain damage?”
Damian stood across from you on the roof of Gotham Central Library, arms crossed, jaw set in the particular way that meant he was either offended or about to confess something emotionally devastating with the energy of a murder accusation. Sometimes both.
“I am not concussed.”
“You say that a lot for someone who gets hit in the head professionally.”
“I remember your laugh.”
You looked away. It was instinct by now. A survival reflex. If someone said something kind, you made sure they forgot it before it became real.
Damian’s breath caught. You heard it. That tiny shift.
You closed your eyes. There it was. The moment. The curse. The world’s old cruel joke, winding itself up again.
When you opened your eyes, Damian was staring at you. Still. Focused. Shaken.
“I remember,” he said.
Your chest tightened. “No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“You read a note.”
“I did not.”
“You listened to a recording.”
“No.”
“You’re guessing.”
“Your laugh is quiet at first,” Damian said, voice low, “as if you resent it for existing. Then it catches. Barely. You look away when it happens, because you do not like being seen wanting to stay.”
The city went silent. Or maybe you did. Your whole body locked around the words.
Damian took one step closer. “You called me a rich gremlin.” Your mouth parted. “And a bat-themed traffic warning.”
“That one was objectively true,” you whispered.
His mouth twitched. “And you told me my handwriting looked like a stabbed insect.”
You stared at him. The wind moved between you, cold and sharp, tugging at his cape and your sleeves. Far below, sirens wailed. Gotham kept being Gotham, rude as ever. But above it, the impossible sat between you like a candle in a ruined church.
“You remember that?” you asked.
“Yes.”
You searched his face for the lie. There wasn’t one. That was the problem with Damian. He could be arrogant, difficult, blunt, dramatic in a way he would deny until the sun died, but he did not give you comfort he could not defend.
Hope stirred. You hated it. You hated how quickly it had learned his name.
“Maybe it’s temporary,” you said.
“It may be.”
“Maybe it won’t last.”
“It may not.”
“Maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow, and it’ll be gone.”
His expression softened. “Then I will begin again tomorrow.”
Your throat burned. “You don’t get tired of that?”
“Yes.”
The honesty hit harder than a pretty answer would have.
Damian stepped closer. “I get furious,” he said. “I get impatient. I get…” His jaw tightened. “Afraid.” You stared. Damian Wayne said the word like it had been dragged out of him by the throat. “But I do not get tired of you.”
Your breath caught. He looked startled by his own words, but he did not take them back. You laughed once, brittle and small. “That’s a terrible line.”
“I was not aware we were exchanging lines.”
“You’re doing a tragic rooftop romance. You should at least be good at it.”
“I will improve.”
“Don’t make that sound like a threat.”
“I make no promises.”
There it was again. The almost-smile. You wanted to touch it. You wanted to run from it. Both urges lived in you at once, twin animals baring teeth.
Instead, you pulled your knees to your chest and sat on the edge of the roof. After a moment, Damian sat beside you.
Not too close. Close enough.
You glanced at him. “Do you remember my face?”
His silence answered before he did. “No,” he said. You nodded like that didn’t hurt. “I remember impressions,” he continued. “Your eyes when you are annoyed. The angle of your head when you are about to insult me. The way your shoulders rise when someone says something kind and you do not know where to put it.”
“Wow. Drag me, why don’t you.”
“I remember the scar on your left thumb.”
Your hand curled instinctively. Damian noticed.
“You told me it was from a knife fight,” he said.
“I lied.”
“I know.” You looked at him sharply. He glanced at your hand, then quickly back to your face, as if afraid to lose you. “You cut yourself opening a can of peaches when you were twelve.”
The world fell out from under you. You had told him that on a bad night. A stupid night. A night where you had been tired and bleeding and too lonely to keep every door locked. You had told him about the abandoned apartment you stayed in that winter, about eating canned fruit with a stolen pocketknife, about slicing your thumb open and crying more because there was no one to hear you than because it hurt.
You had told him. Then he had looked away. And forgotten. You had regretted saying it for weeks.
Damian remembered.
Your hand trembled before you could stop it. He saw. Carefully, slowly, he offered his hand palm-up between you.
Not taking. Asking.
Damn him. Damn him for learning you this gently.
You stared at his hand like it was a trap. Then you placed yours in it.
His fingers closed around yours. The contact steadied something in the air. Or maybe in you.
“I remember that,” Damian said.
You swallowed hard. “How?”
“I do not know yet.”
“Of course you added ‘yet.’”
“I am consistent.”
“You’re impossible.”
“I have been called worse.”
“By me.”
“Mostly, yes.”
A laugh escaped you. Soft. Unwilling.
Damian’s eyes sharpened, not like a hunter this time, but like a boy watching the first star appear in a dark sky.
“There,” he whispered. You went still. “I will remember that one too.”
Your heart hurt so badly you almost hated him for it.
Almost.
The second thing Damian remembered was your voice.
It happened badly. The Narrows were soaked in rain, neon bleeding down dirty windows and alley walls. You had been tracking a weapons shipment tied to Black Mask’s old network. Damian had tracked it too, which meant the two of you ended up on opposite sides of the same warehouse skylight, glaring at each other through wet glass like the world’s least normal meet-cute.
“You followed me,” you said through the comm he had given you.
“I was here first.”
“I was here silently.”
“I was here competently.”
“That’s debatable.”
“You set off the pressure sensor on the south entrance.”
“That sensor was ugly and deserved it.”
Damian sighed. You grinned despite yourself. Then the floor beneath him exploded. The comm cut out. Your body moved before your fear could name itself.
You dropped through the skylight into smoke and gunfire, landing hard on a steel beam. Below, men shouted. Red emergency lights flashed. Damian was on one knee near the centre of the room, one hand braced against the concrete, blood bright against his temple.
For one horrible second, he looked younger. Not Robin. Not Batman’s heir.
Just Damian. Your Damian.
No. Not yours.
You threw three blades in quick succession. Three men dropped.
Damian looked up. His eyes found you.
Relief flickered across his face. Then a flashbang detonated. White swallowed everything. When your vision returned, Damian was standing with his sword drawn and no recognition in his eyes.
Of course. You knew this part. You could survive this part.
Then he pointed the blade at you. “Identify yourself.”
Something inside you snapped.
“Are you kidding me?” you shouted.
He froze. Not because he remembered.
Because your voice did something to him.
You saw it happen. His shoulders shifted. His grip faltered. His eyes widened, not with knowledge, but with impact. Your voice had gotten through before his mind could slam the door.
“Robin!” one of the smugglers barked from behind him.
Damian did not turn. Good. Learning.
The man raised a gun. You shot him in the shoulder.
Damian’s gaze flicked instinctively toward the sound. Lost.
His face emptied. Then his jaw clenched. He looked back at you.
“I know your voice,” he said.
You almost missed your next throw. “What?”
“I know your voice.”
“You don’t know me.”
His eyes narrowed, frustrated. “I know your voice.”
The fight surged around you. This was a terrible place for a revelation.
“Great,” you snapped. “Use that knowledge to duck.”
He ducked. A crowbar swung through the space where his skull had been. Damian moved like water after that, violent and precise. You covered his blind spots. He covered yours. Every time he looked away, his body reset—but not completely. Your voice pulled him back faster each time.
“Left.” He moved left. “Behind you.” He spun. “Duck, pretty bird.”
He ducked, then glared at you mid-fight. “You did not just call me—” He knocked a man unconscious with the hilt of his sword. “You did,” he said.
You shrugged while kicking someone in the knee. “Adrenaline. Don’t read into it.”
“I will read into it extensively.”
“Focus.”
“I am focused.”
“You are flirting while concussed.”
“I am multitasking.”
You laughed. He heard it. And this time, when he looked away, he still smiled.
Only for half a second. Only barely. But you saw it.
And after the last man dropped, Damian stood in the wreckage, rain pouring through the broken skylight, blood sliding down his jaw, and said your name. Not your real name, but the one he had given you.
“Forget-Me-Not.” You froze. His eyes widened. “I remembered.”
You stared at him. “No notes?”
“No notes.”
“No recording?”
“No.”
“No contact?”
“No.”
Your pulse roared in your ears.
Damian lifted a hand to his own mouth, stunned by himself. “I remembered the name.”
You should have made a joke. You always made a joke. Instead you crossed the space between you and grabbed him by the front of his suit. His eyes dropped to your hands.
You knew the risk. His memory flickered. You felt him begin to lose you.
“Damian,” you said.
His gaze snapped back to your face. There. He stayed.
You kissed him. It was not graceful. It was wet from rain and sharp with fear, his mouth startled beneath yours for one breath before he kissed you back with a kind of fierce, trembling focus that made your knees weak. His hands hovered for half a second, like he was afraid touching you wrong would make you vanish. Then one settled at your waist. The other came up to your jaw.
You felt him try not to look away. Felt the concentration in every line of him.
It should have been funny. It was devastating.
You pulled back just enough to breathe. His eyes were still open. Still on you.
“Did you forget?” you whispered.
His fingers tightened. “No.” Your world cracked open. Damian’s voice dropped. “I remember kissing you before.”
You stopped breathing.
His brow furrowed, like the memory was fighting him, like he was dragging it up with both hands from deep water. “Rooftop,” he said. “Siren. I looked away. You laughed at my glove.”
A sound left you. Half laugh. Half sob. “You wrote ‘you love them’ on your glove.”
His face flushed. Even now. Bleeding, soaked, standing over seven unconscious criminals and three dead ones, Damian Wayne blushed because you remembered his dramatic little love note to himself.
“I was being thorough,” he muttered.
“You were being insane.”
“I was being correct.”
You looked at him. He looked back. The rain softened the edges of him. Made him less blade, more boy. Fewer weapons, more want. Your hands were still fisted in his suit.
“You love me?” you asked. The question came out smaller than you meant it to.
Damian’s expression changed. He looked briefly, openly terrified. Then certain. “Yes,” he said.
No hesitation. No escape route. Just yes.
Your eyes stung. “You barely remember me.”
“I remember enough to know what the rest of me keeps choosing.”
“That is the most Damian Wayne answer imaginable.”
“I assume that is favourable.”
“It’s obnoxious.”
“You’re crying.”
“I’m rain-adjacent.”
“It is indoors.”
“There’s a hole in the roof.”
“Because you crashed through it.”
“Romantically.”
His mouth twitched. Then softened. “Beloved,” he said quietly.
You forgot how to be clever. Damian noticed. A dangerous amount of satisfaction entered his face.
“Oh, shut up,” you whispered.
“I said nothing.”
“You looked smug.”
“I am allowed to be pleased when I render you speechless.”
“I’m going to stab you emotionally.”
“You already have.”
And there it was. The ache beneath the banter. The years of loneliness. The curse. The forgetting. The way every soft thing between you had teeth marks in it from trying not to die.
You touched his cheek. His eyes closed for one second. Just one.
When he opened them, panic flashed. Then recognition followed. Slowly. Painfully. But there.
“I remember,” he said, wonder breaking through his voice.
Your thumb brushed his cheekbone. “Damian?”
“I remember.”
His hand covered yours. “I closed my eyes,” he said. “And I remembered.”
You stared at him.
The silence after that was not empty. It was full of every impossible thing neither of you dared to name.
Then Damian leaned forward and kissed you again. This time, he closed his eyes. This time, when he opened them, you were still there.
He became unbearable after that. Scientifically unbearable. You had never seen a man so smug about emotional progress. Damian walked around the Batcave like he had personally defeated the laws of metaphysics through discipline and cheekbones.
“I remembered their voice for fourteen minutes without visual confirmation,” he told Tim.
Tim stared at him over his coffee. “Good morning to you, too.”
“This suggests the effect is weakening.”
“It suggests you’re in love and making it everyone’s problem.”
Damian sniffed. “I am conducting research.”
“You wrote their name in the margin of a case file.”
“That was accidental.”
“You surrounded it with little flowers.”
Damian’s face went blank. Tim’s grin widened. “They were tactical flowers,” Damian said.
You, hidden in the rafters above them, nearly choked trying not to laugh.
Damian’s head snapped up.
He could not see you. Still, he smiled. Tiny. Private. Like his body knew where you were before his eyes did.
Tim followed his gaze and sighed. “You two are going to be disgusting, aren’t you?”
“I do not know what you mean,” Damian said.
“You’re already doing the secret rooftop eye-contact thing.”
“Your jealousy is unbecoming.”
“I’m not jealous. I’m sleep-deprived and surrounded by emotionally constipated vigilantes discovering romance like it’s a new martial art.”
From the rafters, you whispered, “He’s not wrong.”
Damian looked directly at your hiding place. “I heard that.”
Tim startled. “You heard them?”
Damian paused.
His expression changed. Not confusion. Astonishment. He had heard you without seeing you. And remembered who the voice belonged to.
You dropped lightly from the rafters, landing beside the computer platform.
Tim looked at you. Then away by accident. When his gaze returned, he frowned at the empty space his mind insisted on making.
“Right,” Tim muttered, immediately looking at his tablet. “Wow. That is annoying.”
“Welcome to my whole life,” you said.
Tim winced. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You wrote a twelve-page theory about me involving quantum attention decay. That was worse.”
Tim brightened. “You read that?”
“No.”
“You did.”
“Unfortunately.”
Damian stepped closer to you. His hand brushed yours. Not because he needed to anchor himself.
Because he wanted to. That difference nearly ruined you.
Tim looked between you and Damian. Or tried to. Mostly, his eyes kept snagging on Damian’s hand and then sliding away from the rest of you.
“So,” Tim said slowly, “he’s remembering more?”
“Yes,” Damian said.
You looked at him. “Sometimes.”
“More than sometimes.”
“Don’t get cocky.”
“I am accurately confident.”
“You remembered I hate lilies and decided that made you a wizard.”
“You said lilies smell like funeral homes and rich guilt.”
Tim pointed at you with his coffee. “That is incredibly specific.”
Damian’s eyes stayed on you. “I remembered because it mattered to them.”
The cave went quiet. Even Tim had the decency not to ruin it.
You swallowed. “Stop being sincere in public.”
“This is my home.”
“There are bats in it.”
“They are family.”
Tim whispered, “See? Disgusting.”
Damian ignored him. You tried to, but your mouth twitched. And Damian remembered that too.
Your real name came on a night without costumes. That was not planned. Most important things with Damian were either meticulously planned or happened with the emotional timing of a car crash. This was the second kind.
You were at Wayne Manor because Alfred had decided you were underfed. Alfred Pennyworth, you quickly discovered, was immune to approximately sixty per cent of your nonsense through sheer British stubbornness. He forgot you, yes. But he did not forget the place setting he had arranged. He did not forget the extra cup of tea. He did not forget the note he had written in elegant script beside the tray, Our guest takes honey, not sugar. Do not allow Master Damian to brood overmuch.
You read it three times. Then blamed allergies.
There were no allergies.
Damian found you in the library after dinner, standing near the window with a cup of tea cooling in your hands.
“You fled,” he said.
“I relocated.”
“You were overwhelmed.”
“I was avoiding your brother asking whether I’m your partner.”
Damian went still. “He asked that?”
“He tried to. He forgot halfway through and asked why you were smiling at a chair.”
Damian grimaced. You turned from the window.
The library was warm, gold-lit, lined with books that looked older than several Gotham neighborhoods. Rain tapped against the glass. Somewhere far down the hall, Dick laughed at something Jason said. It sounded painfully normal. Too normal for you. Too much like a life.
Damian approached carefully. “You may leave whenever you wish.”
“I know.”
“No one will keep you here.”
“I know.”
“You are not a prisoner of being wanted.”
You looked down at your tea. “You can’t just say things like that.”
“I can.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I might believe you.”
Damian was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, “Good.”
Your grip tightened around the cup. The ceramic warmed your palms. You hated how badly you wanted to stay. You hated how much of your life had been built around leaving before anyone could prove you were impossible to keep.
“Damian,” you said.
He stepped closer. “Yes?”
You looked at him then. No mask. No hood. No blood. No rooftop distance. Just Damian in a dark sweater, hair still damp from the rain, eyes fixed on you like attention was the first language he had ever learned.
“I want to tell you my name,” you said.
His face changed. Softened. Sharpened. Almost reverent. “You do not have to.”
“I know.”
“If you tell me, I may forget it.”
“I know.”
“I will write it down.”
“I know.”
“It still may hurt.”
You laughed under your breath. “It already hurts.”
Damian looked pained. You set the tea aside. Then you stepped close enough that your shoes nearly touched his.
You told him. Not loudly. Not dramatically.
Just a name. A small sound. A human thing. The first thing ever taken from you.
Damian closed his eyes like receiving it hurt.
Then he opened them. Said it back. Perfectly.
Your breath shook. “No one has said that to me in years,” you whispered.
Damian’s hand rose, then stopped. “May I?”
You nodded.
He touched your cheek. Your eyes closed on instinct. His thumb moved softly against your skin.
Then he turned his head. Just slightly. A glance toward the door at a distant sound.
Your stomach dropped.
There. The curse took its bite.
Damian went still. His hand remained on your face. His eyes returned to you. For one second, there was no recognition. Then something fought through.
Not notes. Not touch alone. Something deeper.
His brow furrowed. His lips parted. Then he said your name.
Your whole body went cold. Then hot. Then weightless.
“You remember,” you breathed.
Damian stared at you as if he were afraid moving would break the world. “Yes.”
“Say it again.”
He did.
You covered your mouth. He said it again, softer. Like a vow. Like a prayer. Like he was teaching the universe how to behave.
You made a sound you could not swallow.
Damian pulled you into his arms. Not too tight. Never trapping. Just holding.
You buried your face against his shoulder and shook. He pressed his mouth to your hair.
“I remember,” he whispered.
You clutched the back of his sweater. “You remember me.”
“Yes.”
“Don’t stop.”
“I will not.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No,” he said, voice rough. “But I know your name.”
You broke then. Not prettily. Not quietly. Years of vanishing tore out of you all at once. You cried like a child. Like the child who had waited at a dinner table no one set. Like the teenager who had learned knives because hands were never offered. Like the ghost who had survived being forgotten by pretending they did not want to be known.
Damian held you through all of it. And when he looked away once, twice, three times—
He still knew who you were when he looked back.
He asked you properly two weeks later. Because apparently, Damian Wayne could confess love in a burning warehouse but needed a formal strategy for dating.
You found the list by accident. Mostly accident. Fine. Thirty percent accident.
It was in his notebook, beneath a heading written in his sharp, perfect block letters, COURTSHIP PARAMETERS You stared. Then slowly turned the page.
Ask directly. Do not assume existing emotional intimacy equals consent to romantic partnership. Avoid phrasing as a tactical alliance. Drake says this is “weird.” Flowers? Not lilies. Possible alternatives: forget-me-nots, though they may be too obvious. Consider irony? No. Too painful? Ask. Dinner? Public spaces may increase discomfort due to memory effect. Rooftop picnic? Too much like patrol? Do not say “I have selected you.” Brown laughed for four minutes.
You had to sit down. By the time Damian entered the room, you were on his bed, laughing silently into his pillow.
He stopped in the doorway. “You are invading my privacy.”
“You wrote ‘do not say I have selected you.’” His entire face went red. You clutched the notebook to your chest. “Damian.”
“Give that back.”
“You asked Steph for dating advice?”
“I consulted multiple sources.”
“Did you ask Jason?”
His expression darkened. “Todd suggested kidnapping you from yourself.”
“That’s almost poetic.”
“He also suggested leather.”
You wheezed.
Damian lunged for the notebook.
You rolled away, laughing harder. He caught your ankle. You shrieked, half-laughing, and kicked at him without real force. He climbed onto the bed with the terrifying determination of a man fighting for his dignity and losing badly.
“Return it,” he demanded.
“You made a courtship battle plan.”
“It is not a battle plan.”
“It has numbered objectives.”
“It is a list.”
“You were going to ask me out with logistics.”
“I was going to ask you with respect.”
That stopped you. Damian froze too, one hand braced beside your shoulder, the two of you suddenly close enough that laughter became breath. His blush lingered high on his cheeks.
Your smile softened despite yourself. “You were?”
“Yes.”
You looked down at the notebook. Then back at him. “Okay. Ask me.”
“Now?”
“No, Damian. Next fiscal quarter.”
His eyes narrowed. “Your sarcasm is a defence mechanism.”
“Your face is a defence mechanism. Ask.”
He took the notebook from your loosened hand and set it aside. Then, because he was Damian, he straightened even while kneeling on his bed like this was a boardroom and not the most ridiculous romantic moment in recorded history. He looked directly at you. Softer this time.
“I love you,” he said. Your heart tripped. Still. Every time. “I remember you now more often than I forget,” he continued. “But even before that, I knew you. I knew you from the evidence you left behind. I knew you in what my hands refused to release. I knew you in the anger I felt when the world failed to keep you.” You swallowed. “I do not want you as a mission,” he said. “Or a mystery. Or a wound I am arrogant enough to believe I can close. I want you as you are. Difficult. Violent. Irritatingly funny.”
“Careful. I’m swooning.”
“You interrupt when uncomfortable.”
“I’m on brand.”
His mouth curved. “I want to be with you,” he said. “If you will have me.”
For a moment, you could not answer. Your chest felt too full. Too bright. Like hope had stopped being a weed and become a garden overnight, and you had no idea how to tend it.
“You’re sure?” you whispered.
“Yes.”
“What if it gets worse again?”
“Then we adapt.”
“What if you forget for a whole day?”
“I will come back.”
“What if you don’t?”
Pain crossed his face. No offence. Understanding. “Then you are allowed to be angry with me.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It is the only honest one.” He touched your hand. “I cannot promise perfection. I can promise effort. I can promise records, anchors, magic, research, and my own unbearable persistence.”
“You are unbearable.”
“I know.”
“You’re smug.”
“Frequently.”
“You brood.”
“Productively.”
“You’re bad at casual affection.”
“I am improving.”
“You tried to label kissing as positive tactile reinforcement.”
He closed his eyes. “I apologised for that.”
“You did.”
“I will never say it again.”
“You better not.”
His eyes opened. Your hand turned beneath his, fingers sliding between his.
“But yeah,” you whispered. “I’ll have you.”
Damian went very still. Then, quietly, “Yes?”
“Yes.”
His face changed. You had seen Damian angry. Injured. Focused. Afraid. Tender in flashes he tried to hide.
You had never seen him happy like this. It was not loud. It did not transform him into someone else. It simply loosened something around his eyes, lit something beneath his skin. A sunrise with discipline. A miracle standing at attention.
Then he leaned down and kissed you. Slowly. Carefully. Like he had all the time in the world and planned to use it well.
You smiled against his mouth.
He pulled back just enough to frown. “You are laughing.”
“I’m dating a man with courtship parameters.”
“I rescind my vulnerability.”
“No take-backs.”
He kissed you again, firmer this time. Your hand rose to the back of his neck, fingers slipping into his hair. He made a quiet sound that you immediately filed away for future bullying.
Then his eyes closed. Your body tensed automatically. He felt it.
His forehead rested against yours. Eyes still closed, he said your name. Perfectly.
You shuddered.
Again, he said it.
Then opened his eyes.
“There you are,” Damian whispered.
And this time, he remembered saying it.
The curse did not vanish. Life was not that kind. Strangers still forgot you. Cameras still blurred if no one watched the footage with intention. Tim still had to write your name on his coffee cup when you visited the cave, and Jason still got annoyed every time he forgot who had stolen his ammo.
“You,” Jason snapped once, pointing at empty air beside you, “better be the reason my smoke bombs are missing.”
You held one up.
Jason looked away. Looked back. Forgot. Then saw the smoke bomb floating in your hand.
“Oh, come on.”
You laughed for ten minutes.
Damian remembered the sound all day.
That was the difference now.
Not a cure.
A beginning.
Some days were worse. Some days, Damian forgot your face after blinking too long. Some days, your name dissolved on his tongue and came back only after he touched the bracelet Zatanna had spelt for him.
Some days you spiralled. Some days he did.
But more often, he remembered.
Your voice from another room. Your hand without looking. Your name in the morning, sleep-rough and certain. Your laugh. Your scars. Your tea. Your hatred of lilies. Your habit of sharpening knives when anxious.
The way you still stood near exits. The way you looked stunned every time he reached for you simply because he wanted to.
And every time he remembered, some old frozen piece of you thawed.
Not all at once. Not cleanly.
Healing was ugly sometimes. It limped. It snapped. It forgot the way home and had to be led back by hand.
But Damian was good at difficult paths.
And you, despite everything, were still here.
One evening, months after the warehouse, you found him on the same rooftop where he had first remembered your laugh. He was waiting with a thermos of tea, two paper containers of takeout, and a small pot of blue flowers.
You stared at it. “Are those forget-me-nots?”
Damian looked almost defensive. “Too obvious?”
“Horribly.”
“I suspected.”
“Very dramatic.”
“I was informed romance requires some drama.”
“By who?”
“Grayson.”
“That explains everything.”
Damian held out the flowers. You took them carefully.
“They’re pretty,” you admitted.
“I know.”
“Smug.”
“Accurately confident.”
You sat beside him, shoulder pressed to his.
Below, Gotham glowed like a bruise full of stars.
For a while, neither of you spoke.
Then Damian said your name.
Softly.
No prompt. No note. No spell.
You looked at him.
He was watching the skyline, not you.
He had said it while looking away.
Your breath vanished.
Damian turned his head. Saw your face.
Remembered why you looked like that.
His expression softened.
“I know,” he said.
Your eyes burned. “You looked away.”
“Yes.”
“And you remembered.”
“Yes.”
You laughed once, wet and disbelieving. “Show-off.”
He smiled.
Actually smiled. Small but real, and yours to remember even if the world forgot.
You leaned into him. His arm came around you.
This time, neither of you called it anchoring.
This time, it was just holding.
“I love you,” you whispered.
Damian went very still.
You felt the breath leave him.
Then his hand tightened around yours.
He said your name again. Then, “I love you.”
No curse took it. No silence swallowed it. No forgetting followed.
The words stayed. You stayed.
And when Damian looked away toward the city, then back at you, his smile returned like dawn breaking over a place that had only ever known night.
this will actually haunt my nightmares. why does he look SOOOOOOOO much more scarier than every other demon 😭😭😭😭
he looks like the victim of all those “the possession of (blank)” movies omg. i wasnt even this scared seeing sam possessed LIKE A DOZEN TIMES or even the ACTUAL demons in the show… but flipping hell dean looks TERRIFYING
turnnoffyourmind
dededos
theartofmadeline
titsay
2087
