University AU, i.e., what my brain did when internet was out. Please steal and make fanfics out of this PLEASE (@ me when u do)
OROCHIMARU/TOBIRAMA- Orochimaru, second year bio major, considers becoming part of student government. Not because he wants to, really, but because he can and it’s just another thing that can go on his resume. He considers it with an “I suppose, shrug” attitude. Tobirama, third year, part of student government, is offended that Orochimaru takes it so lightly and tells him that he’s unworthy, doesn’t actually care about the students, and is frankly too stupid to ever join. Orochimaru gets really fucking bitter at this comment but doesn’t show it at first. He just smiles and laughs it off but a few days later when Tobirama is in the middle of taking an advanced physics exam, he squints and looks up at the first kid to turn his in only 35 minutes after they’re handed out and it’s none other than Orochimaru, who gives him a rude sneer. Orochi isn’t even in this class wtf? Tests get returned a week later, Tobirama gets in trouble for having submitted two tests. His actual test is a letter grade lower than the one Orochimaru turned in under his name. Academically honest, Tobirama bitterly accepts the lower grade.
OROCHIMARU/KARIN- Orochimaru locks himself in the school library’s study room. The first night, Karin the librarian yells at him to get out because she has to fucking close down and go home but he completely refuses and bolts the door so she’s just like fuck it and locks him in all night but he’s packed lots of granola bars so it’s ok. The second day Karin is on the prowl to kick him out but he only ever exits silently on his toes to get more water from a fountain. Once she almost narrowly catches him but he outruns her and locks himself back in the room. Past the third day she doesn’t care anymore and just lets him full up his water in peace (fucking finally thanks Karin he was running out of granola). A few weeks later after Orochimaru has basically established the study room as his personal makeshift residence, he shares his food with Karin as a thanks for growing so lenient towards him. Eventually this exchange flips and it’s Karin who starts bringing food to him. Now he has free rooms AND free food. No one else is allowed to eat in the library.
Naruto is a 5th year post-senior (which should not exist) because he failed a bunch of classes in the past and has to do an additional year. Despite his shit grades he was popular enough to get elected student body president. The rest of the student council more than makes up for Naruto’s incompetence. One of the council members is
Kakuzu who is obviously the treasurer I mean come on duh.
Sakura begs Naruto to help every time Sasuke gets in trouble. Nard gladly abuses his power. Often.
Konohamaru and company head the student newspaper.
Sasuke bothers Konohamaru to get his dumb opinion pieces in the paper. He writes a ton of unwanted political commentary that have nothing to do with policy and everything to do with irrelevant fashion choices, “you can’t fucking wear orange on stage and expect to be taken seriously; someone needs to teach the student pres what a suit and tie are.” Sasuke is just bitter because he also ran for student pres but lost out to Nard. Konohamaru turns down most of these submissions. Some do slip through. Sasuke complains on his dumb fucking blog(s, plural) how his younger brother is draining attention that rightfully belongs to him.
Itachi is like 15 or some shit but is already in uni and doing multiple majors because he’s a fucking genius I guess. That or a masochist. He passive aggressively locks Orochimaru’s favorite library study rooms. It took Orochi a very long time to figure out who’s torturing him and fucking flipped his shit when he found out he was being taunted by basically a child. He complained to Karin but she can’t do anything about it.
DEIDARA/SASORI- Deidara brings Sai from his painting class and Gaara from his sculpture class to make faces through the window while Sasori is presenting an important architecture project. Deidara thinks he’s just being fun but it actually wrecks Sasori’s grade and he makes sure to return the favor. He forgets about Gaara and Sai completely since they fail at making funny faces and goes after specifically Deidara because that’s who stuck out as most memorable. He gets very serious about his revenge, stalking him in disguise for a few weeks to learn who Deidara is, what all his classes are, who all his friends are, etc. Sasori finds the room where large canvases are stored, waits for the small window of opportunity when the rooms are open and unattended, and completely illegally defiles Deidara’s works specifically on the day before he has to turn them in. It took so painfully long but it was worth it, finally he shall have his revenge fufufu… To his dismay, Deidara handles this impeccably well by just passing them off as abstract modern art and gets a stellar grade. Sasori is fucking livid.
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