Dinks-poetry

Was originally a peotry blog but now i just scream into the void here Also if anyone sees this ignore my posts they are not thought through this is just how i process my emotions

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i fucking hate my shoulders

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i feel so isolated and unpracticed at socializing.

it feels like the only safe people are other trans women. You never know if a man secretly believes horrendous shit or if he sees you as a woman and if he does see you as a woman you have to deal with the weird misogyny bullshit. If he sees you as a guy, not only will you be constantly misgendered, but also you often have to hear him say disgusting things about women. With cis women again you never know what horrendous shit they believe. At least the misogyny is not nearly as prevalent and its in less of a dangerous way, but it feels hard to be fully accepted as "one of the girls". With trans women more often than not to accept themselves as trans they have to question alot of the weird things taken for granted by the larger society and theyre often just more accepting of anyone. Idk i guess im just tired of living with conservatives who think they're progressive for some reason

This is a vent post it is not meant to be taken seriously this is just brain vomit thank you

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ihatethis

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i was meant to have been born female but gods a little bitch who's scared of women clearly

Wont let that little bastard stop me though im gonna be so woman god wont know what hit him

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im so scared to come out. I dont want to be talked about like im the family freak. I dont want to have to leave my family. As it is though i think its just a matter of time before i kill myself if i dont do something. I dont want to be some dark shameful secret. I just want to be a girl. I just want to be me. I dont want to be reminded that im strange all the time. It got old years ago. If i come out them my strangeness will finally be too much for them and ill be seen as weird but in a dangerous way. Oh well.

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my thoughts daily are basically "god i wish i was pretty" and "I deserve to die" and "i should kill myeslf rn" and "damn i really want a burrito"

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i wonder how many days in a row ive wanted to kill myself

i think its been almost a month now

i should probably do that soon

life's really dragging on

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IM NOT A MAN HOW HARD IS THAT TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND

SERIOUSLY STOP COME ON PLEASE LIKE IF YOURE A GAY TRANS GUY AND IM A GAY TRANS WOMAN THAT MEANS I LIKE WOMEN AND YOU LIKE MEN RIGHT???

SO IF YOU (only attracted to men) START HITTING ON ME EVERYTIME WE TALK, ONE, IM A LESBIAN I DONT LIKE MEN HOW HARD IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND?? TWO YOURE BASICALLY SAYING THAT YOU ONLY SEE ME AS A MAN AND SINCE YOURE ALSO TRANS YOU HAVE TO FUCKING REALIZE HOW I FEEL RIGHT??!?? LIKE I DONT TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY AND FEM YOU ARE EVERYTIME WE TALK BECAUSE EVEN IF I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRETTY AND FEM IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING RUDE

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i love you

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please somebody talk to me

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i wish i was dead

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i have to say but i do love kissing women

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my main emotions are stress and anticipation of The Bad Thing and last the feeling of being trapped by my body's seeming inability to obey my commands

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i feel like a terrible friend

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i like to imagine that im some gods OC because then i just know that for every stupid thing i do theres a god going "hahaha thats just like her to do that, what great character exposition im doing" and no matter what im wearing it doesn't reflect upon the evilness of my soul its just some gay god going "yeah shes just wearing that because i think it looks cool" and honestly the more i write the more I realize that i have alot of religious trauma

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Just had a 57 year old man ask me if i have ever had sex with my uncle or cousin because "you would be too hard to resist"

wtf was that

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god forbid a woman be trans AND unattractive