It was Rich’s birthday. Everyone knew it was better to not ask what age he was turning, but it was 41. The Hill Family was having a barbecue to celebrate. RJ had invited Ryan and his family, but only Ryan came.
RJ was helping his Pop grill some steaks as they smoked cigars. His mom was putting together some sides in the kitchen. Ryan was playing with his younger sister, Susie, along with her cat, Ginger.
“Those two get along well,” Rich pointed out, talking about Susie and Ryan.
“Yeah. Ryan’s good with kids. He’s like a big kid himself sometimes,” RJ said.
“Yeah, Ryan’s a great guy,” Rich stated, “I can tell you two have a special connection. Think he’ll be a lifelong friend for ya.”
“Yeah, I think so too,” RJ agreed.
The family and Ryan sat at a picnic table under a tree after the steaks were done.
“I hope you don’t mind medium rare, Ryan. Anything more done and I’d have to ask you to leave,” Rich joked.
“No worries, Mr. Hill. I would have left if they were more done,” Ryan joked back, making Rich laugh as he dished himself up.
“I knew I liked you,” Rich grinned.
Ryan was sitting next to RJ at the table. Prior to the barbecue, they had talked about when RJ would tell his parents about them. He considered telling them tonight, but decided against it. It was his Pop’s birthday and he didn’t want to make it about him.
Ryan said he could be there with him when he did decide to tell them. RJ appreciated his support and thought it would be easier if he was.
After dinner, Susie ran off to play with Ginger in the yard.
“Have enough to eat, Ryan?” Denise, RJ’s mom, asked.
“I sure did. Thank you, Mrs. Hill. The potato salad was the best I’ve ever had,” Ryan complemented, causing Denise to blush a bit.
“Got you something, Pop,” RJ said as he pulled out a small box from his shirt pocket and handed it over to Rich.
“I told ya not to get me anything,” he said, but opened the box anyways. It was a stainless still lighter that had a longhorn engraved.
“It’s like our tats. I hope you like it,” RJ said.
“Son, it’s great,” Rich said as he pulled it out and looked at it, “Thank you.”
“It is a great gift, but not as the gift right around me. Just my family, being happy together. My beautiful wife, my crazy daughter, my hard-workin’ son and the best friend he could ever have,” Rich listed off.
RJ felt the pressure grow inside his chest like the truth was knocking against his heart, wanting to come out. Was now a good time?
RJ looked at Ryan, who was looking at him. He nodded, as if he was reading RJ’s mind.
“Umm…mom…Pop…I have something to tell you,” RJ nervously mumbled. He looked at his listening parents, sitting across from him. “For the longest time, I knew there was something different about me but I pushed it deep down. Not letting it reveal itself. But this summer, you taught me what it means to be a man. A man isn’t someone who just smokes cigars, works long and hard days or even has a mustache. A man is someone who is true to himself and supports those he cares about. It isn’t what a man does, but why he does it. I’m telling you this because of the why. Ryan is my best friend, but he is more than that. He is my boyfriend…I’m gay.”
There was silence. RJ felt the weight lift from his chest, but his head ran with anxious thoughts.
“Oh, RJ,” his mom finally broke the silence. She got up from the table, but not to walk away. She rushed over to her son and gave him a hug.
Rich was still silent. “Pop?” RJ asked, nervous about hi lack of words.
“Son…I’m proud of you and will always be proud of you. What you did, was the bravest thing a man could do,” Rich said. He got up from his seat and hugged RJ too. “Oh, get in here too, Ryan,” he added as he motioned him to join the group hug.
Susie ran in and joined in the hug. “Did I miss something?” she asked in an innocent way, which caused everyone to chuckle.
The next day, it felt the same as it ever was, but also different. RJ felt more like himself, like the man he was meant to be.
His Pop treated him the same way, giving him more odd jobs around the ranch. The two worked hard together and kept up with each other’s cigar smoking pace.
“So Ryan’s folks don’t know yet?” Rich asked as he handed his son a hammer. They were fixing up the ladder inside the barn.
“Not yet. He wants to tell them soon, but just scared,” RJ answered as he started hammering a nail.
“Ya gonna be there with him when he does?”
“I think so, only if he wants me to be,” RJ stated.
“Might be good if you were,” Rich added.
About an hour later, RJ got a text from Ryan: “Can you come over?”
RJ told his Pop that he thought Ryan was ready to tell his parents. His Pop let him go and wished them luck.
After a short drive in his truck, he pulled up in the driveway, got out and knocked on the door. Ryan answered. He looked both angry and sad.
“I’m just need to grab a few more things,” he said and headed back to his room.
“What’s going on? Everything alright?” RJ asked as he followed.
“No - told my parents. My dad was in one of his moods, made a comment that made me mad and I just told them, both,” he rambled as shoved some shirts in a backpack.
“Told them about us?” RJ pried.
“Not really about us, just me. Dad didn’t take it well. He’s in the barn and mom is trying to calm him down,” Ryan explained. RJ could tell he was on the verge of tears. “That’s good enough, let’s go,” he said.
The two of them headed to RJ’s truck when Al walked out, “Where’d you think you’re going?”
“I’m leaving,” Ryan said, carrying his stuff.
“Boy, you ain’t leaving anywhere until I beat some sense into you,” Al approached aggressively, “RJ turned you this way? He’s the queer?” Ryan’s mom, Carol, was yelling him to calm down.
RJ was quiet. Ryan stood in front of his dad, who then hit him across the face. Ryan fell to the ground; his nose was starting to bleed. “I didn’t raise no fa-”
The next few seconds were a blur for RJ; he was on autopilot. Before Al could finish what he was saying, RJ tackled him to the ground and started punching him in the face. Al was yelling, maybe even screaming.
Carol came out of the barn and yelled for RJ to stop. Ryan pulled RJ off his dad. RJ had came down from the instant rage. He looked at his boyfriend and then his bloodied fists. An instinct to protect this man from the world went off. RJ never hurt anyone before; he wasn’t the aggressive type. He looked down back at Al, whose face was almost unrecognizable and emotion flooded him as he started to cry.
“Let’s go,” Ryan said as closed his bleeding nose. His eye was already bruising.
“I’m going to call the police,” Al managed to say.
“And tell them what? A queer beat the shit out of you?” Ryan said as the two of them jumped in RJ’s truck.
RJ drove and eventually stopped crying as Ryan held his his bloodied hand. Ryan cleaned up his nose with his tank top, staining it red. RJ had a cigar and Ryan had a which helped both of their nerves.
“I’m sorry,” RJ apologized, still a little shook.
“It’s fine. He deserved it,” Ryan stated matter of factly.
“That, but also just for everything. How he reacted,” RJ said, tearing up again.
“I figured it’d end up that way,” Ryan flatly said.
“And I’m sorry, if I pressured you,” RJ looked over.
“No, you didn’t pressure me. I’m glad it came out regardless. I love you and want to be with you, with no one holding me back,” Ryan assured him.
“Love you too,” RJ said back.
RJ and Ryan pulled into the ranch and got out of the truck. Rich and Denise were sitting on the porch and saw the state of the men.
“Oh my god,” Denise worriedly said and stood up. Rich stood after her, cigar in his mouth. He looked concerned and angry.
Denise approached and put her arm around Ryan. “Let’s get you inside, hun, and clean you up,” she said as she guided him inside.
RJ walked up to the porch, cigar between his bloody knuckles, and sat down in a chair. His Pop sat next time him.
“Al did that to him?” Rich asked in a serious tone.
Rich looked down at his son’s knuckles, “And you took care of it?”
It was Christmas morning. Ryan and RJ sat on the couch in their living room. Ryan moved in the day his parents found out. For Ryan’s safety, it was actually Rich’s suggestion that he move in. Ryan still talked to his mom once in awhile, but lost contact with his dad.
Both of them worked on the ranch with Rich, but Ryan was thinking about going back to school.
The two of them finished exchanging gifts and were now lounging in their comfy clothes, enjoying their coffee and smokes.
Ryan has grown out his beard a bit while RJ stuck with his horseshoe mustache. They both gained a little bit of weight like most people do in committed relationships.
RJ reflected on their love with an anxious heart. “I have one more gift,” RJ said as he set his cigar on an ashtray. He stood up, took a deep breath and pulled out a small box from his pocket.
“I never thought I’d ever get to this point. I never saw it in the cards for me. But then last spring, you gave me a kiss. I’ve always had a crush for you and ever since then, my love for you has grown and I don’t ever want to stop kissing you,” RJ said as he got down on one knee, “Ryan Fletcher, will you marry me?”
Ryan stood and nodded with happy tears, “Yes. Of course.”
RJ shot up and gave his fiancé a kiss.
After a few minutes of hugging and passionate kisses, Ryan went to the kitchen to get a couple of beers. Even though it was early in the morning, they had a reason to celebrate.
RJ’s phone rang and it was his Pop calling. “Merry Christmas, Pop,” RJ answered.
“Merry Christmas, son. So…did you do it?” Rich eagerly asked.
“I did. He said yes,” RJ smiled.
“Good man. Of course he did,” Rich said, “When are you two heading over? Your mom is patiently waiting. She’s been pacing all morning, anxious about you asking.”
“We walk over in a bit. We’re having a celebratory beer,” RJ answered with a chuckle.
At the dinner table, Rich in his usual flannel was looking at his family. They were eating their Christmas feast, which was a large prime rib with all the sides imaginable. His wife in a green sweater was smiling ear to ear at her son’s engagement. His daughter in her festive dress was playing with a doll she got from Santa. His son and his fiancé were smiling with joy, both in matching red sweaters.
“Have you thought of a date for the wedding? A venue?” Denise asked excitedly.
“Geez Mom, we’ve only been engaged for like six hours,” RJ said.
“I was thinking summer would be nice. Doesn’t have to be a big wedding,” Ryan chimed in.
“Can I be the flower girl?” Susie piped up.
“Of course. We need a princess to be our flower girl,” Ryan answered, causing her to chuckle and blush.
After dinner, Rich asked, “You boys need a smoke?”
“Yes, Sir,” RJ answered. By now, his mom accepted that her son was now a cigar man like her husband and any comment she could say wouldn’t make a difference.
The men stepped outside. RJ and Rich fired up their cigars while Ryan lit up a Marlboro Red.
Rich and RJ took a seat at the only two rocking chairs while Ryan stood close by.
“Happy for you two,” Rich said, “And lucky that you’re my going to be my son-in-law, Ryan”
“Lucky that you’re going to be my Pop-in-law, Rich,” Ryan said, “And to officially be a part of the family. Thank you for welcoming me in so warmly.”
Once Ryan finished up his Red, he went back inside to help Denise with the dishes. Rich and RJ stayed to finish their cigars.
“Your man is going to make us look bad, son,” Rich joked.
“Yeah, he is,” RJ laughed.
“That’s alright, he is a good one,” Rich added.
“I am going to be honest, I didn’t know how you and mom were going to take the news. I wouldn’t say I’m surprised, but I also prepared for the worst too,” RJ said, “I’m just really lucky to have you guys. So is Ryan.”
“I’ll also be honest, son. When I figured out that the pack of Marlboros were Ryan’s and that you were hiding about spending time with him, I kind of suspected something,” Rich confessed.
“Really?” RJ asked, shocked.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” RJ pried.
“It wasn’t for me to ask. The whole summer was about you discovering the type of man you were. I knew you were becoming the type of man to tell me yourself.”
RJ just nodded back and realized the type of man he had truly became.
“I’ll be right back,” Rich abruptly said as he placed his cigar in the ashtray and stood up. He then went inside.
RJ sat there alone, thinking back and wondering if it really had been that obvious.
Rich soon walked back out on the porch, grabbed his cigar and took a seat. He held a leather bound journal that looked old.
“This was your grandpa’s journal. I found it a little after he passed. I think you should have it,” he said as he handed his son the book.
“Should I read it? Feels like it is personal,” RJ asked as he inspected it.
“I think he wanted me to read it. And I think he would have wanted you to read it too,” Rich said.
“Thanks, Pop,” RJ smiled.
“Now we better get inside before Ryan takes all the brownie points,” Rich suggested, placing his cigar in the ashtray and standing up.
“Yeah, you’re right,” RJ agreed and did the same.