20 things I learned at 20
1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the âforeverâ promise is you.
2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when youâre 5 and when youâre 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesnât increase because itâs already at its maximum right from the beginning, itâs already infinite.
3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. Itâs warm and calming and well, healthy.
4. Your first kiss means nothing if itâs not with the right person. And the right person doesnât mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.
5. Youâve written over 350 exams and youâve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen â you will get a retest. But if you get ill â mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.
6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that youâre one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you havenât bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later youâre loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
Youâre kind and admitting that doesnât make you conceited.
7. Goodbyes donât always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message wonât make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and thatâs okay.
8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone elseâs eyes. You arenât a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.
9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You donât have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, donât make it one now.
10. Money is important. Money canât buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesnât make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.
11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your motherâs hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.
12. You cry. A lot.
But you donât cry in front of people for their pity. You donât cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you donât reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and thatâs healthy. Thatâs so lovely.
13. Bake cakes. They donât have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They donât have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesnât have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.
14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And itâs the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.
15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you wonât have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your âdream houseâ, it may just be a tiny room but itâs yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.
16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ÂČ which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.
17. Spend time with yourself. Itâs some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.
18. Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, thereâs a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isnât something to be proud of, itâs stupid. Donât skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream âNOâ to.
19. Love yourself. If you donât love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you donât accept yourself, you will keep seeking other peopleâs validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you donât want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one personâs company you have to live with forever â yourself. Work on being a person youâd love to spend your life with because letâs face it, you donât have a choice. Itâs a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.
20. In Shakespeareâs words, âTo thine own self be trueâ. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important. And knowing yourself doesnât mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.
One more for good luck?
21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, âDonât take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.â
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things youâre stressing over now wonât even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they arenât mutually exclusive. At least they donât have to be.
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