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Mike Driver

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@dirtroadrunning
infamoushq: ignore everything beyond this post
talking about more babies in the future but i keep getting hit by wave after wave of self deprecating bullshit and oh dear god i’m tired.
how easy it would be to fall into old habits.
one little pill and i’m a better player. a better father, a better husband.
one pill and i’m wanted by my team again. one pill and it all goes back to how it used to be.
how easy.
follow my art on instagram!
bad brain bad brain bad brain
distract yourself as much as you can and try not to think
do you ever think like. yeah. I’m doing good. and then you’re like. oh. oh I’m crying
sitting with the babies, rubbing backs and hanging out in my grandmothers old rocking chair.
thinking.
i shouldn’t be thinking.
because then i start overthinking and fuckin working myself up and into a fit over nothing.
or maybe it’s not nothing. but that’s the anxiety talking.
if i had the ritalin i could be better. at everything. and i wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
i’m tired.
i truly don’t deserve sera.
what was supposed to be me isolating and dealing with my feelings that way turned into her holding me and me having a good long cry, which was. a shitton more comforting than the first option.
i made sure to let her know it wasn’t anything she had done, it was just one hell of a year and i really didn’t have any time to process things before today.
i love this woman with every part of me.
me: *breaks down crying in the privacy of my own home*
my brain: you’re faking your emotions for attention. you’re just doing this because you think it makes for a cool personal narrative
i don’t know how to ask for help.
emotionally or mentally or physically. whatever.
it’s been a long, long.... fucking long year and i just need a hug and a long ass cry or something but i don’t know how to ask for that without feeling like a giant inconvenience or a burden or like i’m gonna stress her out if i ask
fuckin hell.
after she goes to bed i’ll shower and let it out then, i guess.
Anna Nalick//Breathe (2 AM)
tremble for yourself, my man, you know that you have seen this all before
tremble little lion man, you'll never settle any of your scores
your grace is wasted in your face, your boldness stands alone among the wreck
now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
uh oh.
my head is in overdrive.
uncomfy.