割引の審神者

oc saniwa rp blog ( independent/private )

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(YyyyYOU BET IT'S OCTOBER BUDDY. A Halloween gathering for all the saniwa-- that is, ALL of the saniwa-- is set for the eve of the 27th, in Niigata Citadel. Food! Games! Drinks! Horrors! Costumes optional but encouraged! Guest rooms are available should anyone be too inebriated to time travel! Guests are not limited, but do be mindful.)

[He’s already texting Memeko.]

I mean, if there’s food... it’s hard to think of a not reason not to go. I’m definitely not dressing up. Not really sure that guest stuff is about. Guess that means I should only bring like 20 tigers instead of 40? Or something like that. Didn’t say anything about no pets anyways...

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(There's a surprise in your mail! It's a small box of bat cookies and an invite for a Halloween party from Hanabi! ...If you can remember who that's supposed to be!)

[It only took him ten minutes to wrangle the box free of hundreds of vicious little tiger paws, but he’s got the box relatively unharmed and opening it up. The cookies are nice, but he has no doubt keeping them away from these tigers is going to be a nightmare. He looks the invitation over and scratches at his head.]

...Halloween? Oh shit. It’s already October?

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Dark Core Personality Test

Tagged by: @saniwabito, @tsukeyakiba Tagging: You read this so you might as well my dude

Holy fuck I’m kind of an asshole.

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[There’s a soft rumbling pitter-patter of paws in the street as a parade of small tigers starts to fill the sidewalk and road. They leap and bound ahead of their master, John who is holding a Starbucks frappuccino in one hand, phone in the other. He is only the shepherd of this flock as he makes his way back home.]

Why yes Clickhole, I’d love to know more about the Malibu Barbie safehouse where she can hide from the yakuza.

[He stops to take a sip of his drink when he notices someone. He waves before he continues on his merry way, trying to make sure none of the tigers get into trashcans as they pass by.]

Oh. Hey. Walkin’ the tigers.

[holy-moonlight-sword-deactivate]

none of you can say shit to me once i get my dirty little hands wrapped around the hilt of an odachi

[holy-moonlight-sword-deactivate]

go ahead and say something to me fool

[holy-moonlight-sword-deactivate]

go ahead and say something bitch im listening

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(You get a text from Memeko. What the fuck is even going on? She's standing there, looking like hell next to someone she's dubbed the incubus who cursed her dick. There looks like gore and bullshit? Some guy's katana is half in frame. That chick has huge boobs and a horse? Are they on a building? Twins that come in vanilla and burnt? A cute girl with a shield? A confused guy with glowy tats? A juggalo? All she says is "France is such bulls hist")

[He stares at his phone with a look of awe. Why, this is probably the most anime bullshit he’s ever seen? It kind of takes him a moment to go over everything before he sends a proper response.]

[txt] lol damn girl 😂

[txt] i didnt kno spring break came early

[txt] looks like u survived tho!!!!!!

[txt] 👌👌👌

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saniwabito:

You know, I agree.  It’s definitely pretty cool–you get the super fresh fish here–I was pretty landlocked back home.  Plus, shit, sometimes you can’t really beat takoyaki?  Really good udon?  The Japanese variety of cheap fast food.

I mean, you could get chocolate on your food, but only if you brought a bottle of fucking Hershey’s syrup with you.  But having it served with it, I think that’s a true Japanese experience.  

… They might put tenpura on everything?  But I think that’s an American thing.

Dude, I haven’t introduced Kanbei to fried things that shouldn’t logically be fried yet.  Thank you for reminding me.

The cup noodle game here is on point. I thought shitty ramen back home was the best cheap meal, but here it’s a million times better. I never want to eat cheap ass shitty American ramen again.

Oh man, you’re going to blow that dude’s mind. What are you going to start him off with? I’m sure he’s had the standard fried foods by now. Maybe fried pickles? Fried ice cream might be cool too.

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saniwabito:

It’s pretty okay!  Like, I guess, if you don’t want buns and you enjoy the interaction of shaking your meat.  They sometimes have more Japan-y flavors.

“Are they okay”?  Maybe.  Maybe not. Sometimes, you must have your horrible chocolate experience so you know never to test god again?

-She helps juggle the packets at least while 200 nuggets are prepared.-

I mean, we’re used to the no-bread-just-chicken sandwiches?  America is relatively tame, after all.  Or, at least to us, it is.

I’m a professional at shaking my meat, thank you.

You know... I think that’s one of the things that makes this all enjoyable. I mean, don’t get me wrong I miss ‘Murica and all but there’s something nice about being surrounded by a culture that’s so different especially in terms of food. It’s really cool and kind of fun, even if sometimes I’m initially weirded out.

I mean where in America am I going to get chocolate sauce served with my shitty fast food? I mean it doesn’t sound ideal, but the option is there. I think the only thing Texas has the upper hand in is they aren’t afraid to fry anything.

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saniwabito:

Well, “Shaka Chicken.”  I think of it as the “Shake-Shakey Chicken.”  It’s like a straight up slab of fried chicken you put in a sack and shake powder in.  Pepper or Cheese powders.  Or both if you just hate yourself.

Surely the stoners do the reasonable thing and eat literally everything.  

Plus the sauce variety is great. 

If they plain jane it, they still have basic Honey Mustard, Barbeque, but also Korean Barbeque, Wasabi, Miso Abomination, and “I hate myself, I’m using chocolate” specials.

That actually sounds okay. I’d definitely do pepper and cheese.

Japan is truly an amazing and horrifying place. Are they ok? Do they know chocolate doesn’t go with some things? Like I mean, sure you can put it on anything, but that ignores the question of if you should.

[While they’re going back and forth their order arrives and John graciously accepts their 200 mcnugget hell meal and of course asks for a few of every sauce. Trying new things is the spice of life.]

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saniwabito:

I was fortunate enough to be born into a place with both Jack in the Box and White Castle.  Or unfortunate?  

-She shrugs before looking over the menu.-

Most of the McJapanald’s experience is based off the variety of sauces, which we can just dump everywhere and get for free to try as well as the shakey-shakey chicken.

-Memeko, you’re fluent in Japanese, actually call it what it is.-

Also Mac an’ Cheese an’ Shrimp thing over there?

I see it as a blessing. You get the best of both worlds.

Shakey-shakey chicken? Do I even want to know? Mac an’ Cheese an’ Shrimp-- but why? I mean, who is eating this? Everyone? What do the stoners eat then? Are they basic bitches like us that just eat plain jane nuggets?

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saniwabito:

True… That and White Castle?  But 3 AM McDonald’s is also its own special place in the universe.  Like some sort of liminal space.

And you do have a point.

-She steps through, straight into McDonald’s, no questions asked.  She makes a note to abuse her own powers like this more often.-

Well, still.  We still protect them, as our.  Uh.  Patriotic duty to a country we’re not citizens of.

Shit, I always forget about White Castle. I never had one around where I lived.

You know, I’ve always been severely intimidated by the Japanese Mcdonald’s menu. I mean, aside from the part I can’t read a damn thing, there’s so much weird looking stuff I’m honestly afraid to try it. I’ll be brave someday. But that day is not today.

[Thankfully he’s been here enough times the one thing he has truly mastered is the art of ordering chicken nuggets. That’s one thing that he can’t fuck up.]

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saniwabito:

Man, they probably get shit like this from stoners all the time.

-She accepts the hand and starts to follow.-

We protect their present and future, so we can at least get a metric fuckton of nuggets as compensation sometimes.  I mean, we even pay?

I thought Jack in the Box was the stoner fast food place of choice.

Yeah true, but... we don’t get to talk about the cool saniwa stuff we do so it’s not like they really know that, y’know? They don’t even question how I keep showing up without walking through the front door.

[He pushes open her door to reveal a portal already in place, which he pulls her through so that they both exit out what was the door to the men’s room at McDonald’s.]

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saniwabito:

It’s all consuming, my dude.

If we need a second bucket, then so be it.  I’ll pay for it.  Plus I’ve been locked up in my room for who knows how long.

I mean, the guys working the night shift there are probably going to hate us, but I say it’s worth it. We have a good enough cause to warrant their torture.

[He offers her a hand and smiles.]

C’mon, let’s go.

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saniwabito:

You know it!  

I’ve been slamming my face into finances all day now that I’m back to work.  

I’m prepared to eat my McWeight in McNuggets.

No more work, it’s party time now!

Just you, me, and the 100 piece nugget bucket. Maybe two. How big is your hunger?

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saniwabito:

-Starts clapping-

Ten outta ten dynamic entry!

Thanks, I almost fucked up but it came out ok.

Anyways, you ready to get your McDonald’s experience on?

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(You're sent a picture promptly of Memeko in her goth underwear holding up the two onaholes against her chest. She's just confused and squinting at the phone since iPhones won't be out for another four years for her.)

[There is a lot going on here and he’s not sure where to begin.]

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munseru:

You’re Memeko’s friend? Are you also a Mage then?

Oh, sorry, I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Hakuno. Umm…Is the English too much? I can switch back to Japanese..?

Saniwa, actually. I uhh... I think the Mage is the satanic summoning stuff, right? Yeah, I don’t do that.

I’m John-- no, please, stick to English. I don’t really know Japanese good at all. Still learning. I’m just not used to getting to talk in English with people around here.