Waterboy Apocalypse

A blog where I talk about Waterboy from dispatch! 19/Pol/Eng/NSFT will be tagged proship, bigots, etc, dni

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

People on twitter who said "if you cut invisigal from the z-team you didnt understand the rehabilitation part of the phoenix programme"

First of all. The WRITERS dont know how a rehabilitation programme works

Second of all. Even if you cut visi she can still become a hero if you were nice enough to her

Third of all. She went behind all of her teams backs. Many used the defense of letting flambae back after attacking Robert but they had actual personal beef and you know there were people to prevent Rob from getting his ass roasted. With Visi she doesnt even fucking tell anyone until Robert sees her on his computer! Visi needed. And i mean NEEDED to suffer some kind of consequence for causing Chase to have to use his powers to save her from her own stupidity. Her teams trust in her was broken, in order for her to prove she can come back is fight for her friends again which she only really does IF you romance her/are super nice to her

Im sorry the whole concept of this game with rehab and redemption is stupid when they misunderstand what it looks like when an individual regresses and makes the same mistakes. Visi doesnt feel like she wanted to make a change and was fighting herself it just felt like she was giving up and finding any excuse to be with Robert and not have to change much. AND! Visi doesnt really try to redeem herself until she starts falling for Robert pisses me tf off dispatch writers DIE

Coupe, Prism, fucking all of them actually make some attempt at change even with the sabotaging each other thing. They shit on Robert but he genuinely helped them make a difference by believing in them and then you have visi who took that as open invitation to persue him. Male writers tell me why do you genuinely write women this way

Anyways if invisigal and mechaman got together i do not think theyd last as a couple but thats besides the point.

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

The dispatch fandom was so hellish when the only real popular ships were blazermech and invisimech like

And im sorry but theyre really boring ass ships to me 💔 im probably biased since i dont like or care for invisigal as a character her writing is dodgy and the writers making her the center of the fucking story pissed me off 😭

Blonde blazer wasnt as bad but she felt so washed and vanilla in comparison she felr more like an after thought than an actual potential love interest with depth to her

I can actually talk so much about invisigals whole story sours the experience of dispatch of you have any kind of narrative understanding. Man if only the writers of dispatch were good

[margoburukina]

Guys, ask me to draw something with Herman and Robert!

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

Adhoc are cowards for the way they're not addressing the elephant in the room (knowing its pride month but being to pussy to post canon artwork to mot scare of their straight fans and restricting themselves to reposting flambae fanart)

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

Adhoc not doing anything for pride month beyond reposting fanart does NOOOOT surprise me 😭

Those guys told us "to wait and see" when someone asked them about a potential gay love interest for Robert because they didn't want to admit that there wasnt one. Call themselves an LGBTQ+ game and the only confirmed gay character says it in passing to make a closeted joke.

That and if they make a post they might lose all their insvisaglazer straight male fans too because you know how straggots get.

Adhoc are kinda queebaiters and they baited the fuck out of us when the game first came out. Giving us close scenes between robert and waterboy, phenomaman and flambae only to really play it for laughs.

I just genuinely think they're poor writers overall. The way they handled rehabilitation of criminals really annoyed me since i straight up study criminology and rehabilitation at university 😭

So yeah lets just say my expectations for the next game are super duper low.

[paletigers]

waterboy!! put robert down!!!

[dispatch-lover]

Herm may appear skinny because he is tall, lanky, and long proportioned but like I need to talk about like the circumference of all that is Herm.

Like he appears thin but he's actually kinda beefy. Like his upper arms and thighs be thick af.

Like his wrists are the same thickness of an average man's neck.

His muscles may be lean and his ass may be flat but he kinda THICK.

You cannot fit both hands around anything Herm. 👀

(And probably cannot fit one hand around something else. Cough Cough 👀💦)

[fineitsa-dispatch-blog]

I’ve notice that his upper back and shoulders do seem to be more broad at least in relation to the rest of him

And his wrists

Yeah definitely got some girth

I personally might need some more convincing on his thighs tho

Ik this isn’t a fair comparison, but his thighs in relation to Prism’s are so funny me 😂

It’s like that meme

[yeetusthe3rd]

AHEM!

WITNESS.

T H I G H S

I'LL EVEN PULL OUT THE SHROUD-FIGHT-BBL PIC. HERMAN HAS A LITTLE THICCNESS. HE IS NOT A STICK.

[fineitsa-dispatch-blog]

The shroud fight picture is prolly the most compelling piece of evidence

[dispatch-lover]

This post wasn't even about the WaterBooty and I caused discourse. XD

This post was meant to be like "Waterboy's limbs thick like branch not thick like Prism"

He thighs and upper arms thick and chompable and squeezable. 🤤

[fineitsa-dispatch-blog]

Ah yes 😅 apologies we veered off course 😂

I guess Herm is like those trees that are thinner but super sturdy and tall

[absolutelyparched]

YESSSSSSS I always felt like he's got a sleeper build that nobody blinks at until the first time he's comfy undressing in the locker room and everyone's like "What the fuck? You're cut?!" Like he isn't a wall of beef. But he IS deceptively scrawny. Man's got STRENGTH

[siyelius]

wetidiotboy can’t even write everybody boo this guy

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

Need to put waterboy in one of those nerdy vests with a bowtie and bully him sexually

[voidofthevoidmv]

A sad lil Waterboy as a child

(And his childhood bucket)

Had a thought floating around and figured with the way his powers worked-

(Being so connected to his nerves and emotions-)

Little Hermy probably had a lot of big cries and all the adults around him didn’t quite know how to manage properly.

So- I imagine for when his feelings got too big, he had a bucket tucked in the corner of the counselors office just for him, where he can be sad without causing more water damage to the school than usual. But- Herm is a tall guy and I figure he was also a pretty gangly kid- So, usually it’s kind of a mortifying and pitiful experience- Imagine standing in an all too small bucket that has had your name on it since kindergarten, while bawling your eyes out.

Just a thought.

Also I realized very belatedly that I can take pictures of my traditional doodles on paper and then in Ibis Paint I can color them using the color burn option which is pretty swell if you ask me.

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

Ranked waterboy ships on how long i think they'd last realistically :]

[qu4ntumch3m1calm3m0r13s]

[lmobiusl]

Finally finished a rendered artwork with Herm!

Really hope I can start posting rendered pieces more often 😭💔

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

Since I was talking about powers here are my headcanons about characters who like and hate their powers!

Robert, Mandy and Shroud are kinda eh because they dont really have any beyond tech/magic so i left them out but:

Mandy: strongly likes being Blonde blazer

Robert: indifferent about being mechaman, hes conflicted about it all due to everything that happened in his childhood

Shroud: idrgaf i hate this guy but Id have to say he loooved being a gang leader so I think he loves his "powers"

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

Having fun making silly little tiers for random headcanons I have

If anyone wants explanations for yhese opinions PLEASE ASK I will happily yap about why I see this

[disloyalorderofwaterboys]

In seeing people ask questions about my Galen, Prism and Waterboy placements and I am happy to explain!

To those guessing Galen is based on his powers youre right! He has super hearing, I can imagine that makes day to day life extremely difficult especially as a dispatcher. We dont see him use any kind of ear protection whether its earplugs or headphones and we dont know if his dispatch gear is made to make it easier on his ears. He will always be in someones business because he'll hear it. I can't imagine what rickety buses or loud cars much feel like either. Beyond that I think he's a realitively happy guy.

Prism was a bit more difficult for me to place my finger on but I do think she sabotages herself. On a surface level i think most of the Z-team are self loathing or self sabotaging as they are reformed criminals. Prism has a music career that is actually quite popular Im pretty sure its referenced in canon that she has quite a few fans and has some sway in the musical field. Why would she give that up to do petty crime? That and she has drug possession on her card so i assume shes somejow unhappy with how her life is currently going. She also vapes which yeah to me thats pretty sabotagy esp as a singer since that can fuck up your voice similarly to smoking. We also see in the fight scene at the end where she falls and is caught by malevola that she's willing to be hospitalised for her team.

Waterboy to me was a bit of a no brainer. Hes quick to jump on missions whilst being crazily inexperienced. Even if you dont add him in episode 4 he still goes on to fight as best as he can. This probably is more of a hearcanon than canon but he looks up to superheros he most likelu got bullied in school for his powers and personality making him self loathing. We have a cutscene where Robert helps restore some confidence into him. He even writes Robert a letter where you can see the words "never felt so important to someone before" written. I think he uses the excuse of a self sacrifice as a good and desirable way to die and is willing to do it for anyone even if he dislikes them. Additionally he definitely hates his powers. It makes him an inconvenience to everyone around him and himself (great metaphor for disabilities aside) probably makes him think he is just better off dead or powerless.

This is not edited and stuff so i mightve repeated myself but here are my thoughts on some of my placements for the Dispatch characters :3

[moonllita]

Some Waterprism

[enigmasalad]

So I just got a silly little thought in my head.

Flambae and Prism doing the Enda Mode “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!” thing to Waterboy when he’s anxious and insecure about his relationship with Robert (for the first good while of it at least. Waterboy becomes more comfortable over time).

But like imagine Waterboy going on an anxiety filled spiral on how Robert’s gonna eventually not like him anymore cause of his water when Prism and Flambae give each other a look. Waterboy looks at them and they both have rolled up magazines (I know it was a newspaper in the movie) and before Waterboy can wonder where the magazines came from, they start beating him and they’re like “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!” And Waterboy’s making startled yelps and little “ows” of pain.

And this somehow happens every time he goes down a spiral.

It gets to the point Waterboy starts running the moment the magazines come out and Flambae and Prism chase him down.

Robert is doing work related stuff when he sees a panicked yellow blur run past him down a hallway followed by an orange blur and a pink and blue blur. He turns his head and sees them all go town the hallway and he wonders What the FUCK is going on.

There’s a thud, a “Nononono!!” From waterboy and yelps and pained sounds also from Waterboy. So Robert immediately comes over.

And he just sees Waterboy curled up in a fetal position as Flambae and Prism wail on him with magazines and they’re like “WE DIDNT WORK HARD TO GET YOU CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO ASK ROBERT OUT ONLY FOR YOU TO BE A BITCH!!”

And Robert is about to intervene but they stop and Waterboy whimpers for a second and then he sits back up..and seems..relieved a little. And he’s like “T-Thanks guys..I-I uh…needed that.” And Prism says “it’s all good boo. I know you get in these little spirals. You really need to believe in yourself more” while Flambae ruffles Herm’s hair roughly.

Robert decides to leave things well enough alone and disappear before they notice him.