guys help
boy problems
i liked this guy T and i was going to make a move towards dating. i was counting on him during the summer, and I acknowledge itâs not really something i should do, but i knew well enough that he liked me
and he said so, and i confessed vice versa and slept with him, after seeing him previously
and confirmed it was meaningful later on
i was going to ask him to be exclusive, since i was not and did not know if he was,
but he stopped talking to me in early november, the week of my birthday, which was less than a month later
deja vu much
being rejected by someone for bad reasons is shitty
especially when he so clearly liked me for a long time, longer than i liked him
i wanted to make sure he liked me before we fucked because i made that mistake last year, i didnât want to form more attachment through that, and it didnât.
okay, number two
a couple girlfriends have been fucking many guys as they can literally itâs like 30+ so props, I will never catch up
i recently caught on and slept with a close friend L after a party, weâve been friends with benefits (?) for three months, thatâs longer than iâve dated either of 2 high school boyfriends
we didnât talk about it until i asked if he liked me, which he does and now i feel bad, because i hadnât until then
and i confessed i liked someone else and L said we could keep going unless I got the other guy (T)
which i had just slept with but was later rejected by, so it doesnât really matter
i asked L if there wasnât another guy or if it didnât work out if he would consider dating and he said no, probably to make me feel better cause i was so upset
because i said at the beginning of this very terribleawful conversation that i kind of liked him too, because we had gotten even closer than we were before
this is a very long post and iâm sorry
but wait thereâs more
Iâve had a huge crush on S for the past two years (basically as long as iâve been in college), itâs the worst, most painful thing in the world because I canât ever have him, itâs impossible
i donât know if S is into girls, or guys, or if he even forms romantic attachments? heâs considerably older than i am, and even so, heâs a very reserved and mature person and Iâm not quite immature but can be young and somewhat childish or naive.
Heâs also one of those people who is amazing at everything they do, and he is so incredibly passionate for his hobbies and excels so much that it hurts me because heâs so good and iâd never be able to reach that tier. sometimes itâs really frustrating, not because i have a big fat crush on him but because heâs so goddamn good, and I canât be.
S is probably the nicest person i know too, and iâm not just saying that just cause i like him. iâve had a lot of issues bc of stress/school/health and heâs offered to help me out and i donât think it helps that heâs just as naive as I am and heâs so compassionate iâm liable to confuse kind actions for false feelings.
i know that.
liking someone is usually such a good feeling and i donât know why [liking S] makes me feel so shitty, it must be because heâs literally right there and i canât have him. itâs too aggravating, and i hate it. iâve been meaning to confess it to him because i canât stand it, it actually hurts so much. every move makes me think he could like me but itâs probably me just trying to convince myself otherwise. iâve already been rejected by T once and i donât really have much more to lose.
I was supposed to do it last week bc he said âif you ever need to talk i can listenâ after i had a stress-induced meltdown in front of him
but i chickened out
and i wanted him to sit on it over Thanksgiving
Iâll be honest, I donât mind fucking around with guys, itâs actually really fun but
i like L and i donât know what to do
liking S feels shitty but I donât think i will ever not like him
and
iâve learned that lots of guys want to fuck me but no one legitimately wants to put in the effort to date me
