Wanted to send this the other day but It took a lot of work to get everything in since we live on the 3rd floor and no one came to help us but WE FINALLY GOT INTO A NEW APARTMENT! And the sky was very beautiful that night aswell. So hopefully that is a good sign.
That not so nice news is that I am now jobless because I live too far from my previous job and do not have the gas to get too and from. But that’s fine, I’m gonna start learning about all the classes I gotta take to become a flight attendant so yayyyyy. But until then I am gonna also look for a job to help out.
TW: talk of self harm, attempting. Extremely long and depressing.
Hiiii, it’s been a while, surprised to see so many people still interacting with this account after me being gone for so long, just wanna say that you guys are super cool and I don’t deserve to have you guys still around.
Now to talk about what you all wanna know, where I’ve been. I’m not going to get into detail about some of these topics because some things are too much to go through right now.
A lot of things has happened to me in this year and, I don’t wanna jinx it but, this has probably the worst year of my life, from my grandmother dying of cancer, my parents ongoing divorce, and getting kicked out of our apartment. One after the other, they just kept coming when I least expected it.
I had to move back into Chicago and live with my mom’s friend and it has not been good. For the first few weeks I wasn’t working because I had to transfer from my old job to another one closer to where I am living at now, but they weren’t hiring just yet so I had to wait. But just know, I wasn’t working right away so most of the time I just laid on the bare mattress that I brought with me to Chicago. I was a husk of a person at that time, nothing felt real, I never thought I would have to move back into Chicago, with so many bad memories that I wanted to forget.
I felt disgusted with myself, that I was just sitting around not doing anything while my mother was still in Aroura (which is where we were living at the time) taking care of the kids by herself. She couldn’t afford to quit her job yet because she was our only source of income, she had multiple mouths to feed, including mine. And my dad wasn’t any help like always.
I felt powerless, like I was burdening everyone around me. It had gotten to the point where I wouldn’t shower or eat and if i did eat I would just throw it up and beat myself up for wasting food.
I felt like a little kid again, and I hate feeling that way, it reminds me too much of living with my asshole dad, I’m not going to go too much into detail with him because there is so much to say but I hate him, I dislike him with every fiber of my being. He has done things to me and my family for years that I cannot excuse and I wish he burns in the darkest pits of hell.
ANYWAY, I was and still am at a very dark point in my life. I have contemplated taking my own life a lot and I almost did, I am not going to lie to you, I had a gun in my mouth before, the safety was off and I was ready to go, I felt like my life had no point and that I will forever and always be a lazy good for nothing person, that whatever I did was never good enough. I was ready to see what would happen after a person dies, but I never pulled the trigger. I don’t know why but I hesitated and I started thinking; I can’t kill myself, I didn’t want to be the reason my mother had to mourn for the nth time this year, I didn’t want her to do this all by herself because even though she tries to hide her struggles, I see all the pain she has to endure. I didn’t want to leave this earth knowing my mom had to do it all on her own, I didn’t want my mother to give up too, so here I am, still breathing, holding onto that little bit of hope I have that things will get better. Hopefully they will because I cannot guarantee what will happen if it doesn’t, but we are all trying.
Anywho I am going to be gone for a while but reckoned I could give you guys an explanation as to why I was gone for so long, love you lots. 🫶
Birthday Bash | Simon "Ghost" Riley x MacTavish!Male Reader | Fluff
Minors/Fem DNI
Request; "Kasey as my favourite person I think it would be so great if you did a Ghost x male reader where the reader is soaps brother and the reader and ghost have been secretly together" @ezranotbridger (you're too sweet 🤭)
Warnings; Uhh meeting family for the first time? unnamed family members. NON SEXUAL embarrassment, simon is FINE GUYS at the end of the day readers family LOVES HIM HE DOESNT HAVE A PANIC ATTACK I SWEAR
Synopsis; Happy Birthday! What a great surprise. Simon gets to meet his boyfriend's family. Nothing could possibly go wrong!
A/N; not dead, still writing, just without AC and i'm a lizard and need it to be freezing to function. also i graduated. also gost wasnt necessarily a secret, but close enough. ALSO THE HORROR OF FORGETTING TO CHANGE IT TO Y/N FROM MY OCS NAME AND ALMOST POSTING IT OMG I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK
1.0k words
Ghost parked his car outside of a relatively small house and sighed, anxiously glancing at the front door and then at the small gift bag sitting on the passenger seat. He was nervous. This would be his first time meeting his boyfriend's family. While they had been dating for nearly a year, Ghost hadn't had much time available to introduce himself. But it was Y/N’s birthday, and he wouldn’t miss it. He refused to.
He was wearing a black t-shirt, no mask, and curly blonde hair tousled from trying to make himself appear more put together before eventually giving up. He was Simon today. Still, he was determined, albeit anxious, to leave his car and knock on the front door. Simon took a shaky breath before grabbing the gift and sliding out of the car, locking it behind him and pocketing the key.
Simon walked up to the front door and hesitated before rapping the heavy wooden door. He could hear the people inside chatting loudly and the loud footsteps of someone rushing to grab the door. It swung open revealing a young woman with brown hair and blue eyes. She stared at him a moment, looking him up and down before she turned back to the house, hanging herself out the doorway.
“Y/N! Did ya invite some wide fella?” she hollered.
Wide? Simon thought. I’m not wide.
Moments later Y/N shoved the woman out of the doorway and beamed at Simon, throwing himself at him and ignoring the girls cursing.
“I’m so happy you made it!” he said, kissing Simon’s cheek. Simon smiled softly.
“Wouldn’t miss it, love.”
“Come in! I wanna introduce you.”
Y/N led Simon into the living room and open kitchen/dining area where his immediate family and close friends were gathered. There were too many of them.
An older man and woman sat at the dining table, Simon assumed they were Y/N’s parents. Two women around Y/N’s age sat with the couple. On the couch were three of Y/N’s friends, two of which he had met previously. Across from them was a young teenager, likely a nephew, and another man around Y/N’s age.
Y/N began pointing out his family members and friends, naming them each while they smiled and gave small waves that Simon nervously nodded along with. The youngest was indeed his nephew, his eldest sister's child. He was the only child allowed to show because he had insisted on meeting his favourite uncle's boyfriend, stating he had to “make sure he wasn’t a total mink.”
“I’m not sure where the other one is,” Y/N said, rubbing the back of his neck. He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him.
“The other one?” Simon asked as he sat down.
“Aye, my baby brother.”
“The loo,” Y/N’s youngest sister said.
“Don’t be laughin’ at me!”
Simon froze at the voice behind him. He covered his face and rested his elbows on his knees and exhaled deeply. Y/N placed a hand on Simon’s back.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. Simon cracked his fingers open and turned to look at Y/N.
“No way!” the man said, a laugh at the back of his throat.
“Bloody hell…” Simon muttered, shaking his head.
“What’d you do to him, John?” their mother asked, a slightly worried look on her face.
“Nothing! I did nothing!” John insisted as he walked around the couch and stood in front of Simon. “The hell are you doing here, Ghost?”
Y/N's jaw dropped and he turned to stare at Simon.
“You’re lying!” Y/N said, going back to looking at his brother.
“I amn’t!” John shot back.
Simon finally sat up and let his hands fall into his lap. His face was red.
“You’re dating my brother!?” Y/N’s nephew began giggling behind his phone. The man beside him hit his shoulder only causing him to laugh more, leading to him laughing as well.
Simon rubbed his eyes as if he had a migraine.
“You’re dating-” John’s face suddenly fell from his teasing grin and he covered his mouth. Simon stared at his shoes. Y/N stared at his brother.
“What’s wrong wit you now?” he asked. The suppressed giggles were starting to spread through the living room.
“This whole time you been talkin’ about my brother…”
Y/N’s jaw dropped and he slowly turned his head to Simon, who had turned away from Y/N and was covering his mouth. The nephew was now openly cackling. He sounded like a crow.
“I’m gonna be sick,” John stated before walking into the kitchen.
“What have you been talkin’ about Simon,” Y/N said. The tone of his voice sent a shiver down Simon’s spine. Y/N’s entire family was giggling or hiding their laughter behind their hands. Y/N stood and grabbed Simon’s shoulder. “Come on, love.”
Simon stood and obediently followed Y/N as he led him to the other side of the house. The family quieted and attempted to listen in but only heard whispers until Y/N yelled “You told him THAT?!”
They immediately burst into laughter, clinging to the couch or each other so as to not double over. John muttered something along the lines of “It’s not funny” under his breath, but it went unnoticed.
The couple returned to the room and the crowd quieted. Simon was beet red. Y/N sat him down and then walked to where John was leaning against the sink.
“The next time I hear of you asking questions like that to anyone I will personally deliver your arse whooping,” Y/N stated before he turned and walked to his mother. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear that turned her ears red. She whispered something back to Y/N who nodded and kissed her cheek before he walked back to sit next to Simon, placing a hand on his thigh and smiling as his mother turned to John.
“John MacTavish, we will be talking later.”
John nodded shamefully and turned around, walking to the dining table and taking a seat.
“Now, who wants cake?” she asked, clasping her hands together and standing. Immediately ‘yes' filled the room.
“Simon!” Y/N’s father said. The blonde turned to him, face still pink. “We’d love to have you over again sometime soon.”
Simon nodded.
“I’m not mad wit you, by the way,” Y/N said. He placed his hand in Simon’s and intertwined their fingers.
“I know,” Simon responded. Y/N smiled and kissed his cheek before he jumped into one of the conversations happening around him.
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