There are no words to describe how hurt I am by this
Some of yourĀ childishĀ and insensitive behavior not only surprises but disappoints me. Did neither of you realize how this would affect everyone? Is this just an attempt to anger everyone and show who the "big man" of the roleplay is? I may be completely off base and if I am please feel free to message me about the reasoning behind such a rash move. I would really like a reason why not to be mad at either of you considering that I used to hold both of you to such a high esteem.Ā
This roleplay was made to avoid all this drama and to be a place where people were happy to roleplay. This was not made to be shut down after a bunch of stupid drama. I thought you guys were a bigger person than that.
Mainly I'm hurt by the fact I considered some of you my friends and to see you shut down this roleplay without one word of explanation is really confusing and upsetting. I trusted you and you betrayed any ounce of trust I had left. I was upset at seeing Sheila ousted, I'm sure the few I talked to about that know that, but now I'm livid over the fact you decided to close it without even saying anything beforehand.Ā
So basically this is my goodbye for now. I can't roleplay here right now, not with all this going on. I'm going to college soon, I have graduation, and I'm in two other roleplays. Those roleplays have no drama whatsoever and they honestly remind me of the days on here where everyone got along. This is truly my only escape from the real world. I've been pretty open with everyone here that I've not only struggled with a very bad break up but an eating disorder, and the truth of the matter is that I act like I'm over it all when I'm not. I'm still the broken girl I was months ago, I'm just better at putting on a mask to not only trick those around me, but myself. I have to deal with my own problems first before I can deal with anything else. This isn't goodbye forever, more of a see you later kind of thing.Ā
To those who don't fall under the category of above, and you know who you are, I love you all. I consider each and every one of you very dear to me for all that you've given to me. I know that probably means nothing, but in all honesty you guys have taught me so much. I'm a better writer and roleplayer because of every single one of you. I've never felt so welcome to something before I joined this roleplay and I'm in tears over the fact that I have to leave for now. I don't want to, but I know this is the best thing for me. I'm not strong enough to just continue on like nothing's happened over the last few weeks. I may not have been around, but I'm not stupid-I know a lot has gone down and it breaks my heart that you all have to suffer. You are amazing people, every single one of you, and I'm going to miss you whether we talked exclusively or I just got to read some of your posts. Ā I'm always on Skype; dorcas_meadowes and I'll be around every once in a while to check up on you guys and see how it's going.Ā
This isn't easy and I hope you guys don't think that I'm doing this because I hate any of you. I'm actually in tears as I write this just because I don't want to let go quite yet. I don't hate anyone, no matter how angry I am at this moment, I'm just extremely disappointed, upset, and in all honesty I don't know if I can continue playing my amazing happy go lucky character while like this. This might be goodbye forever or this might just be an extended hiatus until I get myself under control. I have a lot going on in my personal life right now between school and then coming to terms with my own demons. Doe and I are very alike in that sense, we try toĀ suppressĀ all sadness until it becomes overwhelming and at the current state I'm too fragile to be dealing with all of this on top of battling my own problems. As I said earlier, I will be checking up and who knows in a few days, weeks, whatever, you might just see me again. Ā Who knows, I could be backĀ tomorrowĀ begging you all to take me back because I miss you so much. So don't get too comfortable with me gone ;) Again, keep me posted, I pray for every single one of you every night, and I love you all so much. Please don't ever forget that.
Forever yours,
Cassie
P.S Lindsey you better fricking text me back, you hoar.Ā
