dogslaw's rat den

art, writing, gonna post X-Files and Rocky Horror stuff lolol he/him technically a sideblog

[dogslayslaw]

New pinned post)

I was originally gonna put dogslaw but apparently that's taken

He/Him

A lot of ramblings about literature and life and art. And probably other things. I'm leaving this vague because my interests change a lot but I do consistently like Bob Dylan and his music and also drawing and programming and classical literature, so there ha

[trasho-pando2011]

reblog if u like horror but r also a fucking pussy. I can't be the only one

[volkopesn-deactivated20260228]

[dogslayslaw]

Some inking stuff I've done recently cause I got into it

Viktor Tsoi (for my boyfriend)

Bob Dylan... (For myself)

I used some black 2 deleter ink on a brush for the Bobby one cause it's fun

Garfield (for my sister)

(and even more for her)

Viktor was the most recent thing I've drawn out of all of these.. gotta love how locked in I was between December (when the others were made) and now (SUMMER) due to school work.

[dogslayslaw]

Reading The Picture of Dorian Gray man is this gay

[dogslayslaw]

When I was a kid I was convinced that I was the weirdest person to ever exist, and ig I internalized some of that to this day. I come across posts on social media that talk about universal experiences for humans, and I usually relate to it, and, when I do, I get reminded that I am human and the things I do are human and normal.

[dogslayslaw]

Grr...

[dogslayslaw]

[dogslayslaw]

I'm tired and scared of living in this country. I'm so tired.

[dogslayslaw]

I'm scared. So scared. As a teen trans guy who is still affected by anti-abortion and anti-trans laws I'm scared. As a US citizen I'm scared. As a human living in this world.. I'm scared. How did that many people vote for Trump? Why is there a Republican majority in both the Senate and the House?

My future is being decided by people working directly against people like me.

[dogslayslaw]

Okay I took a very quick nap when I got home after a long school day of burned out tiredness due to the election results and the thoughts of my future.

A few months ago (actually 5 at this point), I got into a relationship that really got me out of my depression and gave me hope for the future (immediate and long term). This hope shaped into an idea of my life after highschool and college and it fueled me (and fuels me, I'll get to that!). The last 5 months have been the greatest in my life, depression free and not AS anxiety ridden. I do actually have diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder + social anxiety, so it hasn't been perfectly whooshed away, but there have been little to no vomit inducing stomach aches due to it, which is a win to me.

This future I'm talking about it one with my partner where we both have well paying STEM focused jobs and are able to travel around in a nice camper with wood panelling inside, and I'm allowed to create comic books on the side. And we'd explore nature and go on adventures literally anywhere without many limits. Even pay TAXES together and get MARRIED. That future has been fueling me and I had been so confident it will exist.

When the election results came out, that future I'd been imagining for the past few months didn't seem so sure. All day I'd been stressing about that. Part of that future was me getting testosterone and top surgery and being able to just pass as a guy and go off and be gay with my boyfriend, happy and free. The threat to that part of it made it all shatter for a second. My perfect future not so perfect.

I live in a Republican state with some of the most restrictive anti trans gender affirming care laws in the country, and I already can't get anything done in state until I'm considered of age in this state. Out of state, I would have to get a grant to get help (the closest under 18 trans care state to us is over 500 miles away). So I'm getting stuff when I turn of age, and the threat of "we might ban it completely in this state" scared me so badly this morning. My state also bans abortion, and considering I'm a TRANS guy, that's also scary! And a nationwide ban, which is somewhat unlikely but not impossible, also scared me this morning. My future does not have children (most likely) and definitely not at this time.

But I took a nap. I was on the verge of tears all day just thinking about this and my rights being taken away. So I took a nap, 40 minutes long, before a meeting I had.

Well, now that I'm refreshed, I have much better thoughts about this-- neutral mostly. As scary as this all is, we really do have each other. We have love and compassion for everyone and a significantly smaller amount of prejudice compared to Trump and adjacent people.

There is a lot to fight for, but when has there ever been a time where we haven't fought? Now, reinstating, as a teen trans guy, as a US citizen, and as a human living in this world, I will fight for my future alongside my fellow human beings and remain hopeful for what is to come.

[dogslayslaw]

I'm scared. So scared. As a teen trans guy who is still affected by anti-abortion and anti-trans laws I'm scared. As a US citizen I'm scared. As a human living in this world.. I'm scared. How did that many people vote for Trump? Why is there a Republican majority in both the Senate and the House?

My future is being decided by people working directly against people like me.

[fireyourowncannons]

Hey y’all especially those in swing states, eyes up:

How an Elon Musk PAC is using voter data to help Trump beat Harris in 2024 election

Tesla CEO Elon Musk says he created America PAC, which collects data in swing states key to the 2024 election between Donald Trump and Kamal

The elongated muskrat has engaged in blatant election interference by putting out a fake voter registration page on Google ads with the clear intention to dupe voters into thinking they have actually registered to vote. It’s likely also a data harvesting tactic.

Hopefully this gets immediately flagged and taken down but we all know this fascist chucklefuck will not see consequences to his actions and this is something that would drag out in court. Spread the word. Only register to vote through state board or check vote.org for more resources. Do not register through anything else ESPECIALLY if it has some sort of clear motivation.

[dogslayslaw]

I don't usually join in discourse. I'm interested in good omens, I even made a bit of fan art. BUT I'm not interested in it enough to get mad over it being turned into a feature-length episode. So what? I wouldn't even care if we DIDNT get anything. Fuck Neil Gaiman solely for what he did to those 5+ women, not for "ruining the show". Please actually step back and think about the people affected.

[lilboreddev-blog]

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

[thatblackwatchdouche-blog-blog]

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[dogslayslaw]

I'm going to be taking a novels class at school (first period, first semester) in 5 days, and I already knew the teacher well. He told me we would be reading Lord of the Rings! I'm having this and art this semester, I am fucking excited!

[dogslayslaw]

I found this book on one of our bookshelves at home. I like looking through the shelves because there's always a mysterious book I've never seen before. Lately I've been spotting Soviet histories/literature. I found a biography on Stalin, which I found interesting, but not as much as this. I only got a few pages into that to know it probably wouldn't go into a lot of the atrocities. Personally, I like viewing the events through the eyes of the common people, the victims. You don't see that much in history textbooks! So I picked this one up (The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn), the word "gulag" catching my eye:

So I flipped it over and opened it, finding an interesting hand written note/warning by a woman who I'm not even sure is alive anymore and an author's note on the back which was also intriguing.

Now I had to read this! Yes, I'm very much in the right frame of mind right now, so Elaine's warning doesn't mean that much to me right now. If you can't read it, I did make alt text for every image I put here.

The book itself is partially researched and partially an autobiography to describe what it was like to be in the Gulag (and how it was to be arrested and such).

This is apparently the first of 3 volumes, though we only have this one. I haven't gotten far in it either; I'm only 10 pages in. But let me say, Elaine was right... Currently it's describing the arrests of citizens, which is traumatizing enough. Knowing the Gulag was even worse is just an eerie experience. I might update my thoughts as I read on, but no promises.

ANYWAY I recommend this book for anyone interested in stuff like this. Even if you're not, you should look into it anyway because I think it's important to learn about just how bad totalitarian governments are (FUCK THE KGB AND FUCK STALIN)

[dogslayslaw]

Warning

Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky spoilers after mark

(in form of ART and some thoughts)

I finished Roadside Picnic last night (recommend by my partner), and it's sad to admit that this is the second book I've actually finished in a good year or two. It was quite honestly a really good read. I recommend it for any science fiction enjoyers out there, Arkady and Boris are genuises, and this book is probably one ofc their most popular and influential. Please check it out if you haven't (and definitely look into the history of it as well, it's necessary)!

If you HAVE read it, or don't care to and just want to see the art and my thoughts, continue on.

Just some quotes from later on in the book that hit me hard. The Zombie dad and Monkey stuff was honestly entirely depressing and horrifying.

So my boyfriend recommended me this, right? This book was written in 1972 in Soviet Russia, so the original message was lost and rebranded as anti capitalist to appease the government. While I agree with some of that messaging, the fact that it was CHANGED is pretty depressing. Like I would've loved to see the first few drafts before the government made them change it!

I think some of it is very obvious; instead of taking place in Russia, this takes place somewhere in the west (probably the US or Canada as they mention Europe as an outside place as well). The one purely good person that is hyped up is Kyrill, a Russian scientist at the Institute who truly only wanted to go to the zone for science. Even in Red's delirious mind on the last few pages he thinks of this guy, saying he was amazing. All of the stalkers end up dying on their greed filled conquest to find the golden sphere for Vulture, and the richer capitalists are written as awful people (BASED-- EAT THE RICH-- but most of the stalkers dying is NOT).

I'd like to say that I didn't agree with the scientists either? Even Valentine, I saw him as completely full of it and very unaware of how other people work, no matter how right he was about how the zone worked. Actually I'm sure this was intentional from the authors, and was missed by the censors!

Okay beyond that, I'd like to talk about how utterly depressing the book is. Like specifically the tragedy of Monkey. How all the children of Stalkers are screwed up (tho Vulture's ended up just being so ethereally beautiful but completely empty, especially the daughter) is just so. AUGH. Truly the zone punishes you. It's a blight, yet Valentine was right, as much as Noonan wanted him not to be, the visit was just a silly little picnic. Even the golden sphere being left behind, looking discarded and not at all cared for.. we'll get to that later. Let me continue.. yes, Noonan, after seeing Monkey and the Zombie dad, really figured that the zone was evil and it was there to ruin families. He was wrong, it's even implied in the name of the book. The tragedy of Monkey and of the father was just like battery acid from discarded disposable batteries that some family brought while camping leaking into the environment and screwing things up. And that's even more depressing. And the fact that Monkey did act like a human for so long, for 8 years in fact, with her stories and playfulness. Now she's just a shell, acting just like an animal even. Screaming in the night with the horrifying Zombie that Red wants to keep there. How does Guta, his wife, feel in all this? Right after Red just got out of jail?

Now to the Golden Sphere, which you can see pictured up top. The line about it being just left there, not placed there, proves Valentine's theory (as fucked as it is, and as unaware and ignorant his views on humans are). And the fact of the matter is, we know it doesn't grant wishes. Vulture made that up, or someone did, and everyone chose to believe it. It drove Red crazy in the end, knowing he'd probably not make it back and knowing that he literally just sacrificed Vulture's son (which he did regret, but in his brain it was either Arthur or Monkey). All this for that giant discarded sphere that was just there, shining, in the middle of a giant quarry. Stalkers lined up, dead, pointing the way to it.

DEPRESSING. I'd like to say this was a brilliantly written book (RIP Arkady and Boris). Genuinely a great read, and it did destroy me a bit!