on the center of our dinner table is a bowl of rotting fruit.
we do not look at it. we do not speak of it. and it seems that our guests have not noticed it. i do not know how.
we gather around it every day when we eat our meals; we do not look at it. there are flies flying around, and the smell is sickening. we do not speak of it.
i realize that a bowl of fruit is a common thing to be painted. i do not understand why. the artists are skilled, i can tell, and there is nothing wrong with what they have created. even so, whenever i look at those depictions, i cannot help but think that they, too, will one day rot.
perhaps it is spite that makes me think so.
i do wonder– has it always been like this? or were they once ripe, beautiful, and simply withered away due to our carelessness? back then, did we look at it? did we speak of it?
“we should throw that away,” i once said. they were angry at me, of course, as i had broken one of the rules. i did not know it was a rule.
“it would be a waste,” someone told me. “let us not dispose of something that has value.”
it did not make sense to me back then. i think that it still does not.
what value do they see in it? are they planning to eat the fruit? somewhere deep down, i know that is not the case. do they expect me to do it?
palavras saindo da minha boca uma após a outra, criando um zumbido de som sem sentido. quieto, tão quieto, não importa o quanto eu tento, eu não consigo aumentar o volume da minha voz acima de um sussurro - mudaria algo? se eu gritasse, alguém me ouviria?
esculturas no formato de pessoas estão a minha volta. do que elas são feitas? alumínio? papel? certamente não é algo durável. se este lugar se inundasse, elas iriam se dissolver. "que fracas," eu penso, mas eu sei bem que eu me afogaria.
distantemente, eu ouço minha própria voz, mais palavras que não tem propósito algum. emoções misturadas que tentam ser colocadas de uma forma elegante, mas acabam soando completamente idiotas. ah, é por isso que nenhuma dessas pessoas olha pra mim?
nesse momento, eu as odeio. eu acho que odeio todas as estátuas que existem no planeta - isso é uma reação forte demais? mas quando uma das estátuas está quebrando, todas as outras reagem, e eu não consigo sentir nada. então, não seria uma reação fraca demais?
que irritante. elas não me escutam, mas quando elas falam, eu também não tenho interesse algum no que estão dizendo. isso não é hipocrisia? algo tipo, "me ame sem eu te amar." é o tipo de coisa que eu pensaria.
eu olho para o rosto na minha frente - a falta de rosto, somente uma superfície vazia me encarando. esticando minha mão, eu não consigo a tocar, qual seria a forma certa de descrever isso? uma barreira de vidro? mas não é uma parede - não, é como se não importasse o quanto eu tento, sempre tem um centímetro de distância entre minha pele e a estátua.
isso é uma desculpa, não é? a verdade é, eu mantenho essa distância, porque eu tenho medo de a tocar. sim, frágil como elas são, certamente se eu as tocasse, elas iriam se distorcer debaixo de meus deus dedos, queimando como se minhas células fossem acídicas. sim, frágil como eu sou, certamente se elas me tocassem, sua tinta iria deixar marcas em meus dedos, marcas que eu não conseguiria lavar não importa o quanto tentasse.
also i don't know what it is with mvs coming out right before the prisoner's birthdays. let's hope it continues so i can finish nobui's mv in 3 months (it won't happen)
i started this thing all the way back in may but only got around to finishing it now~ i'll get back to working on the mv now that i'm feeling a lot less burned out!
First Name: Tsuki (月)
Surname: Kotohi (縡烺)
Gender: F
Age: 17
Height: 182 cm (~6 ft)
Birthday: November 1st
Blood Type: B-
Color: Persian Indigo (#32127a)
A quiet but intense prisoner. Despite claiming indifference to the situation, she seems to be seeking your approval.
Voicelines
01: “Kotohi Tsuki... I'm seventeen, and I'm in high school... That's all.”
02: “A murderer... That's right. Some people must get their hands dirty for the betterment of the world...”
03: “I don't care about what you or anyone else thinks of what I did... I know that I'm in the right.”
04: “The right reasons, the right circumstances... Yes, such things are what we use to distinguish the forgivable from the filth. I don't dislike this place.”
05: “You're the warden here, so... You agree with me, don't you? Don't you?”
■■: “The world is better off... Without people like you...”
Personality
tsuki acts tough and like she doesn't care about anyone and anything, while constantly trying her hardest and caring deeply about everything. she wants approval from others more than anything, but believes she won't get it no matter what, so she acts indifferent and braces herself for rejection before it even happens. this leads to her coming off as an asshole (because she is one).
she struggles a lot with social cues, and a lot of the time just doesn't know what to say so she doesn't say anything. her love language is being weird and saying nothing. she is, however, a great listener.
and because of her aforementioned hunger for approval, the moment someone is nice to her she does a 180° into people pleaser so that she doesn't lose them. she's the world's biggest enabler if you're her friend. she will deem all those who upset you bad people, and we all know what she thinks of bad people (they should all die).
Ideology
tsuki has a very black-and-white view of morality; she believes that those who enjoy causing suffering are absolute evil, but at the same time believes that it's righteous to cause suffering to those people. she claims that she herself doesn't derive pleasure from it, and only does it because it's the right thing to do, because someone has to do it. in that sense, she deems herself selfless.
all of that, though, is just how she justifies her own actions to herself. the truth is, she's an angry teenager who desperately wants to lash out at the world, but she thinks she should be better than that. she's created a lady justice persona to not have to admit that, just like the bullies she hates so much, she's arbitrarily choosing a group of people that is acceptable to oppress.
tsuki dislikes herself; she doesn't think she has anything going for her. she can't act properly, she can't make friends, nobody seems to like her no matter what she does. that's why she wants to feel superior, to put herself on a moral high ground. if you were to take out her righteousness, all that would be left is an angry, pathetic girl. that's why she won't admit that she's deeply flawed. that's why she can't.
Story (+ Crime)
her family is composed of herself, her parents and her twin sister, asahi. they're middle class, but the parents are very emotionally neglectful due to focusing solely on their jobs, and so asahi turned to school peers to get affection/admiration. tsuki has undiagnosed autism which lead to her getting bullied and asahi used that to get in with the popular girls, telling them things about tsuki, some false some true, and making fun of her relentlessly. the bullying only got worse as they got older.
even at home, the two of them barely talked, and when they did it was for the sake of their parents; truthfully, asahi never hated tsuki, and felt incredibly guilty for the way she treated her, but her desire for popularity was stronger. tsuki, though, absolutely despised asahi and everyone she associated with.
on one night where their parents were out, asahi invited two of her closest friends and classmates over for a sleepover. tsuki spent most of the time hiding from them locked in her room, and late at night after it had gone quiet she ventured out and found them asleep in the living room. at this point she had been stewing for a while hearing them laugh and have fun while she was miserable so she was out of her mind angry and killed all three of them.
Misc Info
Name Meaning
縡 (koto) - breath, life
烺 (hi) - bright (said of fire)
月 (tsuki) - moon, month
縡 can be read as "sai" and 烺 can be read as "rou"; sairou (豺狼) means wolf, rapacious person, merciless and greedy person
Links
pinterest clothes board:
Discover recipes, home ideas, style inspiration and other ideas to try.
playlist:
Trivia
she's an expy of haruka and kotoko with a bit of muu
if she was into milgram, her favorite characters in trial 1 would be muu and kotoko, and in trial 2 they would be amane and kotoko (she would become a muu hater)
her first person pronouns are ore (when nervous/with strangers) and jibun (when relaxed/in private)
asahi (旭) means morning sun
her assigned emoji would be either 🌙 or 🐺, and the imagery i associate with her is a black sheep in wolf's clothing
she prefers to write her name with hiragana over kanji
her mcc types would be cool/needy/crybaby
her piercings are clip-ons
her hair is choppy at the back because it was cut by bullies
tadashi is the only dollgram char thats 100% original (as in, not an adaptation of other ocs)
there was one oc that split off into two, and one of those became nobui and the other split off into jun* and half of s
there was another one that got put into a washing machine and came out completely different then split off into yuuhiko* and the other half of s
* junhiko lore is actually a little more complicated. i had two main ideas for 05 that i couldnt decide between so i was like fuck it and split them into jun and yuuhiko. then yuuhiko got reworked 100000 times during which he also fused with the oc from before. and that second idea i specifically created him to have? went to tadashi (after being reworked several times, of course)
anyways here r the old ocs in question. they are worlds 2 most insane women both think they can fix each other five million dead none injured. drawing is from 2021
kaledo-art
gummygunk
izzy806
stormborns
2087
germansingergirl
vaporwave
