your lips my lips, apocalypse

fiveya is one of my strongest ships and I love writing fics about them ☕🎻 AO3 acc: MorMor_187

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

Fiveya - Formidable Cool AU

Five is sick and done of Reginald's control and can't wait to leave. When he roams Reginald's office late at night and finds a mysterious red notebook, he discovers the impossible-

Number 7- his quiet, vulnerable, harmless sister, has hidden powers. And Reginald is terrifyied.

He decides at that moment that she'll be his way out of this place, and he'll do whatever it takes to make it happen, even if it means to make her fall for him.

[pomarome]

“Here with you (again)”: a short comic (23P)

Keep reading

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

THIS IS A MUST REBLOG!

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

⚠️warning! Stupid question ahead!⚠️

Can someone who writes smut really good or just writes smut in general help me out with a WIP? I can't write smut for shit, I could really use some tips

[rappaccini]

I'm ALREADY anticipating, in the event of vanya being victor or whatever and now being literally dead and replaced with someone else, the pain. so much pain especially since I know that not giving a crap about this new person will almost certainly get me labelled as transphobic. like you said this character isn't even vanya anymore and now it might not even be by name?!? i miss my exquisite corpse vanya

sigh. okay. how do i put this.

you’re one of a dozen people (a dozen. i counted.) who’ve been in my inbox saying something similar in the past three days alone. so clearly this needs to be said but i know people are gonna get pissed.

tl;dr: nothing is definite. it’s all a bunch of rumors being spat back and forth between people with their own agendas. we are in for a fandom shitstorm when this season drops no matter what, but there's no reason to accelerate it, so ignore them. we will know which way things are going when season 3 premieres, and not a second before.

remember six months ago when page came out and people, instead of taking a step back and going ‘hm. maybe assuming this queer actor’s sexual orientation is the centerpiece of who they are and who they’re allowed to play... was wrong and shitty because the ‘vanya must be a lesbian because her actor is’ argument was hot air all along? maybe i should not assume things about people because of their queerness.’ they instead doubled the fuck down on his queerness being the only thing about him that matters to them to such an extent that he can’t be trusted to play any other roles and started insisting that vanya can only be trans now?..... only for every single official interview page gave ever since that day to pointedly mention that yes, he can still play cis female characters, and yes, there are no plans to change vanya’s gender in the show right now?

remember five months ago when some rando posted an article on a clickbait website all about how ‘vanya will be trans in season 3′ based on no evidence and all empty speculation and using pointedly feminine and over-ten-years-old photos of page (so you know exactly how they felt about it) and some dumbass didn’t fact check it and posted it without context on tumblr and all of a sudden there was a flood of panic over vanya being trans that sputtered out into nothing?

can we not take rumors, spin them up and act like they’re hard and fast facts? can we stop fucking obsessing over page’s queerness and let him do his job?

yes. it’s worth wondering if that’s going to happen. and it is very possible. but everyone acting like it’s a done deal is ridiculous. everything we’ve been told officially thus far has told us ‘no.’

could things have changed? yes. but i’d rather learn it from official sources-- the canon itself-- than some rando on the internet who has an agenda of their own to push that no one seems to check before they swallow whatever they’re being fed.

(and lets be real it's to the show's advantage to keep us guessing so we'll all be sure to tune in to s3 to find out)

this victor rumor... idk where it came from. some twitter account run by a 16yo who’s hungry for followers, from what i’ve heard, but even that’s shaky. but regardless a rumor is all it is at this point. a rumor.

i’ve said this before but jesus fucking christ: slooow down. rumors are rumors. is it possible? yes. is it happening? we don’t know yet. we will not know until season 3 arrives. until then, nothing has changed.

there’s gonna be controversy no matter what. we are in for an absolute firestorm of bullshit when s3 drops no matter what it contains. i do not blame you for gaming this shit out.

in fact, i’ll do it myself.

if vanya remains a cis woman, we’re gonna get all kinds of tittering about

how page isn’t ~actually trans~ because he plays a cis character for his job (fuck you)

about how oh gosh vanya being flat-chested, short-haired and masculine Clearly Says Everything About Her Gender ~are you suuure you’re a girl, looking like that~ (fuck you)

and the grand old reprise of ‘we, the woke queer kids who claim we’re in your corner, think that your queerness makes you so bad at your job that we demand they get rid of your character so you can play yourself in stories exclusively about being queer, no matter what you want. but we swear, we’re on your side! we’re totally different than the queerphobic assholes who think the exact same thing about you, just without a coat of rainbow paint over the meaning of the words!’ (fuuuuck you. no you are not).

if vanya becomes a trans character (... because yes. it would be becoming, since in s1-2 she was written/performed/intended to be received as a cis character. it is a change and we need to acknowledge that immediately.) there’s gonna be so much more controversy. it’s not even gonna matter what the actual content of the arc is, or how it’s executed.

the general audience is one thing. we know already there's gonna be a shitstorm coming from them, and that page is going to be pinned as the Cause Of It All no matter how things are executed, because audiences always lay their blame on actors who just did their jobs by performing the shit the way they were written and not the writers and producers who actually made that shit happen.

this fandom, given how reactive and performative it is in how it views this show, these narratives, and elliot page in particular, is gonna fucking eat itself. we’re almost certainly going to divide between these factions:

the ‘you must love this no matter how they execute the story or the performance and if you don’t you are EVIL’ crowd. the performative brats. you’ve been in this fandom, you know who they are.

the ‘people who might have been on board with it, but have legitimate hangups and concerns about how it’s going to be executed based on how the show’s treated its queer characters so far’ crowd.

the ‘people who have nothing against page personally or against trans people but simply don’t think this character should be trans because they don’t like how the actor is enveloping and replacing the character’ crowd. (you, anon, are in this category i assume)

the ‘people who, for various reasons unrelated to transphobia, just simply don’t want this character to be trans’ crowd.

and the transphobes.

because of the performative brats, groups 2, 3 and 4 will be corralled in with group 5. you know how the brats are, you know they’ll do it.

and then group 5 will take the critiques and concerns of groups 2 and 3, and the personal preference of group 4, co-opt them, and poison them with transphobia. and they will then use those concerns as a way to backdoor people into agreeing with transphobic/terf rhetoric.

and the people from groups 2, 3 and 4, after being blackballed and ostracized out of the rest of the fandom, will be angry, disillusioned, more likely to lash out, and more open to accepting that rhetoric simply because it’s coming from someone who isn’t maliciously screaming about how they’re terrible people for not liking the way a fictional character was written. ostracization leads to radicalization. brats, you are not purging the fandom of filthy sinners, you’re just making hell more crowded.

and we’re going to be left with a mess where actual criticism is thrown out the window and no one is able to adequately talk about the story for what it is.

because there is legitimate criticism of this story point, if it happens. there are issues with trying to pull this off at this point in the story and arc and it’s worth discussing them so we can understand how and why the plotline went the way it did. how it can be improved.

there are legitimate hangups about the motivations behind this. is it being done earnestly, or is this just an attempt to capitalize off of page, for instance, because the show already did that in s2 with the give-vanya-a-girlfriend plot.

there are legitimate points to be made about the actor vs character separation. there are issues that arise from muddling the two together, that get frustrating for reasons that have nothing to do with individual actors and more to do with the concept of actor v character. it’s worth exploring.

and it’s worth discussing that because if this happens, it will absolutely have been for page, and not for the story. that’s just a fact.

and it is worth interrogating why exactly the audience (and powers that be) cannot distinguish the actor from the character, specifically because of the actor’s queerness. because that’s a bad road to tread down that will only lead to more queer actors being pigeonholed out of careers.

watching a show for a character, only to watch that character's actor replace them completely? sucks. it's worth discussing.

there are legitimate concerns about whether it can or should be done. tua has fucked up its queer storylines and since this kind of storyline will have not been done before on this scale, if they get it wrong and people still applaud it, that’s all we’ll fucking see for years because all the writers and producers watching this storyline are gonna take notes. there’s a lot that could go wrong and queer tumblr-based fandom tends to accept garbage because we’re so hungry for anything that we don’t always process whether what we’re being fed is good for us or even half filling.

we’re still behaving like it’s five years ago and a coming-out story and the queers not dying or not being predatory villains is the best we could hope for, but we’re in the 2020s. everyone wants a queer storyline on their show, so we need to raise our standards of acceptability if we’re ever gonna get those storlyines to the level we need them to be. that includes demanding complexity and nuance, and a move away from coming out stories and after school specials about why the queers are okay and into stories about people who happen to be queer.

and some of that involves accepting that sometimes... it’s better for the queering to not happen because the situation/creatives/story just aren’t going to support it in the way it would need. it’s like racebending-- it’s to be done on an individual basis with attention to the context of the story and the teller. there are levels to this shit and painting with broad strokes doesn’t work.

these issues matter. they are not coming from badfaith, bigoted, bad places. vanya hargreeves is not a real person, she is a fictional character. characters exist to tell stories. when someone questions whether vanya being trans is a good idea, they're not necessarily being transphobic or Invalidating Someone-- vanya does not exist, and therefore cannot be harmed or offended. they are questioning whether this is the best route for the story to go, if the tellers are competent enough to do it justice, and if the character even needs this narrative. they are questions worth asking. this shit isn't black and white. there's nuance. there are levels. we need to discuss that. and it is good to discuss things that we have issues with, so we can get to the root of them and figure out what to do about them.

bc if we don't air them out honestly, if we dismiss them as uniformly bad, and if those criticisms are jettisoned directly to the transphobes, by god they’re gonna cling to them. they’re gonna poison them. they’re gonna use them to try and hurt actual people. they’re gonna use them to make a case about how ‘see? casting this trans actor and making this character trans and the presence of this trans character ruined this show, and you should never do it again. here are all my points to back it up that aren’t based in transphobia, that you can point to when you get rid of your trans actors, characters and storylines.’ and the studios will be listening.

(you think netflix actually cares about elliot page? or about supporting trans stories? fuck no. they follow the money. they made a calculation that it would be more profitable and image-boosting to support him. and the second that isn't the case anymore, they won't. and that goes for every other studio exec.)

don’t give them that ammo because they will shoot you with it. you’re gonna give that ammo, aren’t you?

and boy oh boy i sure can’t wait for

the round of cis social justice warriors shrieking ‘listen to trans and nb voices.’ which, okay, which ones? i have several trans and nb friends, and every single one of them has a different opinion on this plotline ranging from ‘it’s worth it even if you fuck up’ to ‘this character is at her core, simply not trans, and doing it will actively ruin the character, the show, and could potentially lead to network execs refusing to greenlight any show with a transmasc lead for a decade, so for the love of god, don’t.’ which one do i listen to? the one you agree with, right? because those voices are one hive-minded monolith, right? and you’re so special that it lines up with what you already think is what’s correct, right?

people demanding that ‘vanya’ be treated like a deadname. when ‘vanya’ is a character with several iterations, only one of them would be trans, and that other version is a cis woman who is still called vanya (let alone that 'vanya' is a fictional character who cannot be harmed by misgendering anyway). you gonna cancel, doxx and suicide-bait the comics fans for calling a character by her canonical name and referring to her by her canonical gender identity? (we all know you are)

people taking the way they already police the way vanya is drawn in fanart and cranking that shit up to 11. even though fandom is supposed to be transformative, which means you can do anything you want with a character. and even though said character exists beyond one particular incarnation of them.

and i cannot. fucking. wait. for people to go to war over a fictional character’s gender identity, while also being dead fucking silent or actively complicit in the harrassment and disregard of actual people in this community (including and especially trans and nb people) for the crime of having a headcanon they disagree with. can’t wait for people to get real honest with their actions about how to them, a fictional character’s validity always mattered more than a real person’s. can’t wait for them to jump through hoops to deny it.

so. all gamed out. and yes, i totally understand why you’re worried. it’s gonna be a mess. if. it even happens.

if.

because we don’t know if it’s happening yet.

we will not know for certain until season 3 comes out. all those questions and worries are gonna come up then. the performative bloodsport is going to hit, one way or another. can we not speed it up? can we not get ahead of ourselves over something that might not even happen?

we will have these conversations, god knows we will have them, when the show comes out. ignore all rumors and leaks of dubious quality, question where they came from, who started them and why they started them, and remember that the show is the final authority on whether this is happening or not.

wait. once we know where the wind’s blowing, then we will unpack how we feel about it. and not be looking forward to it does not make you a bad person.

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!

Honestly, I personally see myself in group 4 (you'll know what I'm talking about if you read the whole thing). I have NOTHING against trans people and especially Eliot (my beloved 🥰), but I do wonder what contribution will it do to make Vanya trans.

It's the same thing again with the whole "sissy situation". I really don't want another situation where Vanya is used as a blank sheet character for the writers to dump every trope they see fit on. A character should have reasoning behind everything it does, or else it's pointless.

Is Vanya actually a lesbian/bi? Show me before hand, make it so that I'll be surprised but not surprised once I think this through because all of the signs were there.

LGBTQ+ representation in filmed media is important, but please make it count.

[fiveyasstory-deactivated2021100]

i just learned my lesson, to not search fiveya on twitter. It's so.. uh, toxic if i could say. Kinda hurt me but okay. I'm okay really. You know, just never search for it, cuz it's hurt. The anti's word is so, heart breaking 😁💔.

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

I second that, there's something about Twitter and ships that is just SO toxic! Whenever I want to look a certain ship's content I look everywhere BUT Twitter, I just end up being depressed

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

I haven't posted in a while since I feel like everything I had to say about the show has been said and now I don't know what to post about 😂

If any of you has some suggestions for things I can write my opinion about for nobody to care in relation to TUA please slide into my inbox

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

I must say, looking at the Fiveya tag and seeing so many people simply BEGGING for antis to stop their behavior lately crushes my soul.

This is the second post I'm making about antis today, and to all antis out there I say

✨GET A LIFE✨

[daenaryajonfan]

Ship who the fuck you want

if its fiction, ship who you want together. Who is to tell you that you can’t? Why do people bother bullying because you adore a paring they hate? I mean, how pathetic and a waste of time really. Its not gonna ruin their life because you ship who they don’t. Then they go make hate blogs, and stalk people. Insulting their art. @VanyaHargreevesHatePage I’m talking about you. I mean this person is 15 and they feel the need to stalk people, bully them and then purposely tag post’s wrongly. If you hate a ship, fine I don’t care. But, when you bully people, say something horrible about art they spent hours on, then I’ll fucking say what the fuck I want about you. Ship and let ship.

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

One time when I scrolled through the Fiveya tag I saw someone who's anti-harcest saying the most stupid thing about pro-harcesterts (like me) that I've ever heard. SAYING THAT WE DONT SUPPORT ELLIOT PAGE BECAUSE WE SHIP FIVEYA OR ANY SHIP THAT HAS VANYA IN IT IS THE MOST FUCKING DUMB AND DISGUSTING SPECULATION I HAVE EVER HEARD!

Vanya is not Elliot, and if they can't get that then they are the problem.

And apart from that, WHY DOES IT HURT YOU SO MUCH TO KNOW THAT SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE SHIP SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T?!

Anyway, I'll never get their pea-sized brain, please don't interact with me antis or sO HELP ME GOD-

[klausthesexytrash]

Any Pro-Ship(ping) The Umbrella Academy Blogs, please Reblog this so I can follow you.

I don't want to follow anti's because it'd make both of us uncomfy lol

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves Characters: Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Ben Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves, Dr. Pogo (Umbrella Academy) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Protective Number Five | The Boy, Dead Reginald Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Pseudo-Incest, Grace is not a robot, Pogo is not a chipmanzee, they are simply people, something is going on with Vanya Summary:

Five Hargreeves can't remember a time in which he didn't dislike his father, Reginald Hargreeves. His businessman persona never faltered, and every conversation they ever had felt like an appointment with an accountant instead of how a normal father-son conversation should feel like. He never thought he could actually hate the man, but then Vanya, the only person he truly cared about, went missing. And he felt more than just hatred. He found himself packing the essentials before turning his back on his family, never looking back. But now with the recent death of his father, Five knew what he had to do. He would go back and finish what he started. He will find out what happened to Vanya once and for all.

[b-rainlet]

I don’t know at which point “I don’t agree with Luther’s actions therefore I don’t like him” translated to “Luther is a bad person and homophobic (especially towards Klaus) and he expresses being favoured by Reginald by putting everyone around him down and seeing them as beneath him and he’s just a bad person all around” and then turned into “In every single meme containing alignment charts he’s the token straight one (alongside Reginald) and he’s always the cis/hetero brother who either doesn’t get it but tries to be supportive or is outright hateful towards his queer siblings” but at one point it did and I don’t agree

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

I never understood the hate people had towards Luther... Like, people say that he keeps talking about the moon and never stops and they hate that, but it's not all that different from Five and the apocalypse or any other trauma the others have been through because he suffered as well, out of all of them he was BETRAYED the most by Regibald when Luther only wanted to be appreciated by him.

Also, seeing how people say that they hated Luther less in season 2 when in actuality it's mostly because Luther was dumbed down and turned into the butt of the joke most of the time and he just doesn't deserve it.

[pomarome]

This is for @dreamwalker44 for the @fivevanya secret Santa exchange event! The prompt was Knives Out (2019) AU fanart with Five as Ransom and Vanya as Marta. I hope you like it :) Happy holidays!

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE WROTE FANFICTION ABOUT FIVEYA AS IF THEY'RE RANSOM AND MARTA! THIS WILL BE THE MOMENT I'LL ROLL OVER AND DIE I-

[xxbunnykissesxx-deactivated2022]

five: i said “do you mind if i make fun of you” and my wife goes, she said “um yeah you can make fun of me, but just dont say that i caused the apocalypse and that you dont like me.”

five: i would never say that, not even as a joke. my wife caused the apocalypse and i like her so much

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

Suddenly I find myself wondering what a comedian! Five would be like and I'm not regretting it

[rappaccini]

It bugs the hell out of me that when Vanya gave her empty apology to Diego, he just accepted it so readily. NOT bc I don't think she should be forgiven, but bc as she herself said, she doesn't know what she's really apologizing for! It was entirely empty and meaningless. Without the full knowledge and context of everything, which Vanya lacked without a memory, it was pointless and such a cop out. "If it means anything" well, it's a nice gesture sure, but no, it really doesn't MEAN anything.

oh absolutely. so many of vanya’s interactions with the family are beyond fucking hollow.

vanya’s totally halfhearted empty apology to diego, and his empty acceptance of it.

vanya being hugged by klaus, who gives her a pet name, when she doesn’t know who he is and in s1 it’s clearly established that they aren’t close at all and never have been

luther apologizing to vanya, who has no idea what he did to her

vanya’s memed-to-death scene with klaus and allison in the salon, when vanya has no clue who they are and they haven’t truly made up with her yet, and therefore this moment of celebratory release is just hollow fanservice (also... Where’s Ben)

vanya at the dinner with reginald, being sassy and self-assured and totally disconnected from who he is, when this could’ve been a fantastic moment of confrontation

ad infinitum

this was the season of vanya reuniting and reconciling with the family, and practically all of it means nothing, because vanya doesn’t have the memories of what they did to each other, and the ability to react to them.

it’s passive and empty and shallow as a fucking kiddie pool and it feels designed that way to make sure that Everyone Is Nice To Vanya because the writers felt obligated to cater to the fans, who were very vocal about wanting that immediate forgiveness and the fluffy family moments, and who had a little difficulty comprehending the concept of complexity and dysfunction in a show all about a complex, dysfunctional family.

it would’ve been infinitely more interesting to see the family struggle to forgive vanya, or vice versa, and see them slowly come back around to each other over the course of the season. then, all those moments of forgiveness would actually hit, and that bonding would feel earned.

[263adder]

To think of what could have been if they followed the Dallas comic.

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

I have to admit, when I watched the second season for the first time I was so excited that I didn't even realize how hollow things were when Vanya couldn't remember anything, I was just happy they all finally got along as a family even though IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

I mean, they all just forgot about the book and instead of holding a grudge against her (because in a way they all lost something because of the apocalyose) they all just immediately forgive her and it's just so convenient that Vanya can't hold a grudge against them back even though she has EVERY RIGHT TO DO SO! if it wasn't for the shitty treatment she got from Reginald and the group when she was young she wouldn't have been so pissed that she would want to kill everyone.

It's honestly kind of disappointing to see so many good shows giving in to everything the casual fans complain about on Twitter when they don't realize the show is MEANT to be this "messed up" and the family IS meant to be "dysfunctional".

[moonlit-imagines]

guess who just came out as transgender! i hope we meet elliot with nothing but love and support! isn’t that right? congrats to him!

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

Was not expecting it but that's a good fucking surprise!! Congratulations Elliot Page!!

[263adder]

I’m super bored, trying to distract my anxiety, so I’m going to do some ask games unprompted. Starting with…

Rules: For every letter of your URL put a song that you like that starts with that letter. 

2 = 20th Century Boy, T Rex

6 = (very tough, so I’m going outside the box with) Sixteen Tons, Tennessee Ernie Ford

3 = Three Times a Lady, Lionel Richie (honestly, looking at my library it was only that or Three Little Birds, Bob Marley)

A = All Night Long, Rainbow

D = Downtown Train, Everything But the Girl

D = Don’t Stand So Close to Me, The Police (my anthem for 2020)

E = Everybody Be Yoself, Chic Street Man

R = Ride On A Pony, Free

I know I didn’t have to include my numbers, and you guys don’t have to either, but like I said, I’m bored!

Tagging: @mynewblackdress, @repeatinglitanies, @jjdoggie-s, @rappaccini, @ariazu7, @fiveyaaas. If you do it, tag me in your post so I can see. If you’re not interested, just ignore me!  If you are not tagged and see this anyway, go ahead and have some fun!

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

I wasn't tagged but it seems like fun, so I'll do it!

D= Do I wanna know?, Arctic Monkeys

O= On, BTS

L= Loser, Beck

O= Over my head, Echosmith

R= Reptilia, The Strokes

E= Exit Music (for a film), Radiohead

S= Snake eyes, Frank Carter & the rattlesnakes

I= Insomnia, Marmozets

S= somebody that I used to know, Gotye and Kimbra

A= Apocalypse, Cigarettes after sex

C= Creep, Radiohead

T= Tongue tied, Grouplove

U= Uh-oh, (G)-idle

A= AYA, MAMAMOO

L= Lost on you, LP

L= LMM, Hwasa

Y= Youngblood, 5 seconds of summer

V= Valerie, Amy Winehouse

A= All for us, Labyrinth, Zendaya

N= Noir, Sunmi

Y= You broke me first, Tate McRae

A= Ain't it fun, Paramore

I don't have anyone to tag, but feel free to do like me and make one for yourself 🙌🏻

[doloresisactuallyvanya]

*Seeing Alex Turner as older! Five and dying*