Haven't been on here...
...in a hot minute.
Both of my birds died suddenly a day ago, and i’m just so sad. I want to go back in time and change everything that happened, but I can't. And I also can't believe that they're really gone. Ive had them for years, and always been so careful and paranoid about anything being around the birds that could cause them harm. How could the pan that we use on a regular basis suddenly be deadly to them. I was so sure it was Teflon free. I had just moved their cages which happened to be closer to the kitchen just the weekend before. I wish I hadn't cooked that fish that required a hotter temperature on the oven than the other typical things. Losing a pet is hard, but losing 2 is devastating. The house is so empty and lonely. I hate being home. I hate seeing a blank wall where their giant cages used to be. I hate seeing the play gym hanging from the ceiling. I hate that I look up from the couch to see what they're doing, and there’s neither one of them there. I hate that I keep picturing how I found them both on the bottom of their cages when I went to feed them yesterday morning. I wish there was something I could do to bring them back, but they're never coming back. I had them for years, they've always been okay. I miss getting up in the morning and hearing them yell when they see me coming to feed them their breakfast, or how they yelled when I came home from being out. The way Frank would shout “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” when I was cleaning, or randomly say “Excuse-cuse-cuse-me” Or the way Dewey loved head scratches and cuddles more than anything, but would rip your fingers off if you were putting your hands inside his cage. Im so mad, that the day before I was really busy and I never really even got to say hi to them. They should have gotten to live longer lives, but they are gone forever. My heart is broken and I cry randomly throughout the day. I can't change anything. I just need to keep reminding myself that, so that maybe I can move forward.













