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Looking for me
@dontrecognisememirk
Pushing 30 (minors dni) and completely lost in life, I made this page to try and find myself again by sharing thoughs, feelings, some fandom theories, hcs, fanfictions, art and my attempts at poetry. Fandoms: MHA, Naruto, Hunger Games, Maze Runner (will update in the future) kofi if you feel like it: https://ko-fi.com/dontrecognisememirk
first you gotta do the build up and then the actual fucking and the fucking is pretty easy but you never know how long the fucking should last, and eventually you're like "okay I'm tired of this" so the characters cum, but you're not done yet because you can't just end it at "he fucking nutted everywhere" you gotta keep going, and the characters have to chat a little or cry or think about how horrible they are or something and then you kinda don't know when to end that either so now you're 2k words in and you might have put too much self hatred and not enough sucking dick. so you wrap it up, and think well it's done now.
or sometimes you have it all perfect in your mind and you knock the whole thing out in 2 to 3 hours.
Heavy on the after part cause tf am I supposed to make them chit chat about 😭
Couple of years I was writing this omegaverse fanfiction of 4 minutes (the thai tv show) and legit never got to post it cause the after smut is so cringe and I always want to rewrite it but it just stays cringe...
Why do people act as if you can make them answer a text message?
Like girl if I message at a time that's inconvenient for you then don't answer... Don't entertain the conversation then when I call you out on your shit it's "you are disrispecting my time, I am with my boyfriend" you never told me you were busy, you never told me your working hours, you answered and kept answering, how the fuck was I supposed to know you didn't want to talk to me when you voluntarily answered??? The fuck?
"I don't handle stuff like this trough text" but you perfectly comfortable of accusing me of shit I didn't do by text... And then when I said okay, but cause your accusation was in writing I will leave the proof in writing and then we can talk face to face when you want.... then!.... Then!... After the screenshots!!!... Then you answer and try to back paddle... Girrrrlll okay you full of fucking shit. If you say one thing and mean an other don't be surprised when I tell you are fucking disrespectful cause you are.
You don't want to talk, then don't talk!
When I don't want to answer shit, I fucking don't, if I don't want to have the stress of knowing someone messaged me I silence the notifications ahead of time and go about my day. If you can't do this at 50+ years old then that's on you. I am not disrispecting boundaries simply for defending myself in writing after you accused me in writing than tried to dip. Could have just gone about your night and picked that back up at another time. If time of messaging was so important to you, you could have let me know your working hours, and you could have switched shit off outside of those hours. I am not responsible for respecting shit you didn't tell me about tf.
If you answer you are choosing to keep that conversation going, I don't know how else to say this to you.
Legit the meme of spongebob with the giant shakles
Oh and also don't try and insunate I am only angry at myself and not you... STFU you are nobody to tell me about my feelings and sometimes people aren't angry at you just cause of some unresolved issues with themselves sometimes you actually did something fucking wrong to them that pissed off!
And at least everything I feel about you comes from me. You talk to AI about how you feel about people and wether or not you should keep them as your emplyees and actually believe the shit ai tells you about other people... Then you are surprised when after finding out I say you are disrispectful... Grow a fucking though of your own can you?
every time i comment on an ao3 fic i'm pretty sure it's incomprehensible gibberish. but if i can bring joy to one (1) author's day or make even just one author feel inspired, i am happy.
Everytime I comment I feel lile I am either cring or just saying the same thing all over again, cause genuinely if I love your shit I just love it ypu know, you going to get the cringe oit of me. But if it makes authors happy than my job is done!!! 🫡
So I was supposed to produce an audiobook, yesterday I got told they will do it with AI.
This is a bit of just a rant, cause I refuse ti cry about it even though I really want to
After being told about the audiobook, I asked if it's okay if I kept working on the translation. Log back in today, and I can't see the chat on Microsoft nor the company community I believed they just blocked me. Just like that...
Mind you had signed a separate agreement for the translation and the termination they sent is only for the audiobook so I have no clue if I should keep working on it or not...
And mind you the all of this cause yesterday they asked me to send in a snippet and I told them I could send it by the end of the week cause yesterday I was out (this is freelamce btw not in the office) and didn't have my stuff with me. 3 minutes later they terminated the agreement even though last week I had told them I would have delivered the audiobook for August and they said it was okay...
And for the translation I had also told them I would have sent them everything in August they also said it was okay.
In the notification history I can see part of the message they sent me, and part was saying "I believe we can solve the Italian translation more efficiently" couple this the fact that can't see shit from them on Microsoft and I am afraid they just removed me from the community and blocked me and by.... Like WTF
"we can solve more efficiently" but by now I could have already finished it if mid way trough they didn't ask me to do the audiobook and told me to focus on that first... And I kept telling them at the meetings that that's what I was focusing on so if they say no progression on the translation was cuase of that and they said okay.
In the all of this I have been working since December with no fucking pay
I guess I should have expected it from someone that uses AI so much but I was trying to get out of an abusive house so I just got whatever job (and before you say it no the Mcdonald wasn't hiring believe me I tried). I got the job cause I couldn't afford to say no, plus at the begging I didn't even know she used so much ai and then I had signed the agreement by the time I realised. Despite everything she seemed like a good person and I didn't think she would actually fire people to finish stuff with AI. She kept telling me she was an international actress, that her projects could go to Holliwood, that if I did the audio project they people in Hollywood would see it, that she could put me on. And of course I believed it cause I am a fucking idiot. If feel so stupid and useless rn
I swear the god Idk why stuff like this keeps happening to me. I get it that maybe I should have been quicker with the translation or whatever the fuck but also she always said there was no deadline, my health got bad, I was trying to prioritise other gigs to get the fuck out of that house, I just couldn't do it quicker.
And what kills me is that I am going to have to the people in my life that tried to be supportive and told they were going to buy the stuff as soon as it was published and I have to tell them that I got nothing to show after all these months cause apparently companies can just fucking block on Microsoft and be done with you.
Mind you they didn't even terminate the agreement for the translation officially, and technically they have access to what I have done so far for that which they will probably finish using ai.
I hate this and me so fucking much right now you have no idea.
In June I had a job offer from another company and guess what they wanted me to move house cause they thought I'd be too tired to commit to a one hour commute. I told them that I could move maybe in a couple of months but that I could commute in the meantime and start as soon as possible. Between me and whoever the fuck is ever going to read this, it would have probably taken me a year to get the money to move where they wanted but I had thought to myself maybe if they just hired me and I showed them I could commute without complain it would all be okay. But no they sent me an email saying that they were going to move forward with someone that already lived close by... Thanks a lot for getting my hopes up. Like wtf
Update today she kept insisting I hadn't sent her any work. I replied with all the screenshots of google docs history showing she had access. She didn't even apologies for the accusation.
There's is sooo much more going on, I tried being nice then she started trying to gaslight me into beliving she hadn't disrespected me and I snapped cause girl no. You accused me of not working so you could have an escuse to have everything be continued trough AI, when you had access to my shared document since last year actually, wtf you on about.
The way a 50 something years old can be so fucking full of themselves is fucking baffling
If you see a "publishing empire" blatantly built on AI just know I have nothing nice to say about the fake nice person behind it
Did you see the news about the live action for Naruto? Are we feeling?
I have no idea how they are going to squiz og Naruto into a single movie but at least the director has been on other successful projects so maybe it won't be catastrophically bad??
Ngtl I wish they had done the reanimation of those four epics they promised though 😭
And then there's me with a bottle of 0.90 cents bleach, 1 pound brushes and a 3 pounds tshirt thinking I am fucking picasso
Now was I successful at this today? No
Bleach spilled all over the place, I tried to fix it and made it worst. So I'll need to try again. But at least now I know what not to do next time aka
- trust the process (this shit actually takes time to develop)
- don't try and fix random spots of bleach by going over it (it will just make a bigger mess)
- don't start while you are dyeing your hair, (you might just fry both the hair and the tshirt)
- oh and wear a mask for the fumes or you might just end up with a headache
Sooo what mental illness is it when you apply for a job at midnight and then take stupid behavioural test and you genuinely feel so empty inside that between strongly agree and strongly disagree you always answer dead center... Not cause you trying... Just cause genuinely you don't feel any particular way... Asking for a friend
So I was supposed to produce an audiobook, yesterday I got told they will do it with AI.
This is a bit of just a rant, cause I refuse ti cry about it even though I really want to
After being told about the audiobook, I asked if it's okay if I kept working on the translation. Log back in today, and I can't see the chat on Microsoft nor the company community I believed they just blocked me. Just like that...
Mind you had signed a separate agreement for the translation and the termination they sent is only for the audiobook so I have no clue if I should keep working on it or not...
And mind you the all of this cause yesterday they asked me to send in a snippet and I told them I could send it by the end of the week cause yesterday I was out (this is freelamce btw not in the office) and didn't have my stuff with me. 3 minutes later they terminated the agreement even though last week I had told them I would have delivered the audiobook for August and they said it was okay...
And for the translation I had also told them I would have sent them everything in August they also said it was okay.
In the notification history I can see part of the message they sent me, and part was saying "I believe we can solve the Italian translation more efficiently" couple this the fact that can't see shit from them on Microsoft and I am afraid they just removed me from the community and blocked me and by.... Like WTF
"we can solve more efficiently" but by now I could have already finished it if mid way trough they didn't ask me to do the audiobook and told me to focus on that first... And I kept telling them at the meetings that that's what I was focusing on so if they say no progression on the translation was cuase of that and they said okay.
In the all of this I have been working since December with no fucking pay
I guess I should have expected it from someone that uses AI so much but I was trying to get out of an abusive house so I just got whatever job (and before you say it no the Mcdonald wasn't hiring believe me I tried). I got the job cause I couldn't afford to say no, plus at the begging I didn't even know she used so much ai and then I had signed the agreement by the time I realised. Despite everything she seemed like a good person and I didn't think she would actually fire people to finish stuff with AI. She kept telling me she was an international actress, that her projects could go to Holliwood, that if I did the audio project they people in Hollywood would see it, that she could put me on. And of course I believed it cause I am a fucking idiot. If feel so stupid and useless rn
I swear the god Idk why stuff like this keeps happening to me. I get it that maybe I should have been quicker with the translation or whatever the fuck but also she always said there was no deadline, my health got bad, I was trying to prioritise other gigs to get the fuck out of that house, I just couldn't do it quicker.
And what kills me is that I am going to have to the people in my life that tried to be supportive and told they were going to buy the stuff as soon as it was published and I have to tell them that I got nothing to show after all these months cause apparently companies can just fucking block on Microsoft and be done with you.
Mind you they didn't even terminate the agreement for the translation officially, and technically they have access to what I have done so far for that which they will probably finish using ai.
I hate this and me so fucking much right now you have no idea.
In June I had a job offer from another company and guess what they wanted me to move house cause they thought I'd be too tired to commit to a one hour commute. I told them that I could move maybe in a couple of months but that I could commute in the meantime and start as soon as possible. Between me and whoever the fuck is ever going to read this, it would have probably taken me a year to get the money to move where they wanted but I had thought to myself maybe if they just hired me and I showed them I could commute without complain it would all be okay. But no they sent me an email saying that they were going to move forward with someone that already lived close by... Thanks a lot for getting my hopes up. Like wtf
So for some time I kinda felt like it would have been good to see Izuko apply for UA before having the quirk.
Mainly cause he wanted it so much but until All Might showed up he didn't seem to put that much preparation into the exam. And for a long time, I wished I could have seen him try and somehow make it inside on his own, and that getting him All Might recognition and then the quirk. Also cause when you really think about it he didn't really use his quirk during the exam anyway.
That said now that I am rewatching it, I am revaluating the whole thing differently. It's kinda actually very fucking nice to see someone belive in this kid before everyone else.
For as much as there the people who just power trough shit from the begging, the world is also full of people who genuinely need someone to belive them before they do. And thinking on it Izuko spent his early childhood beliving he was worthless cause he didn't have a quirk so it makes sense that he need a encouragement first.
Probably shouldn't have taken me so mych time to see it like this but oh well leave and learn I guess ir whatever they say
Remember way back when people though Toya and Hawks knew eachother as kids in the hero commission?
I feel like genuinely if that had been true and they actually share more of a back story the whole plot point with Hawks finding out of Endevour being an abuser would have been so much more compelling
Shoto we get it. Katsuki is your friend. You don't have to repeat it TWICE on national TV
He's like: "8 years and we're still going strong"
What if he broadcasts the status of their relationship every 10 years?😭
The fact that they specifically brought up Katsuki in the time skip interview though (since he says "oh? Yeah he also...")... It means one thing: adult tdbk are seen together a Lot. like A LOT. That's why the interviewer singled him out. and there might be some rumors about them in their universe lmao. They 100% get shipped. (It could just be a callback to the first interview, however that's a boring explanation so no😭)
I recently started binging the 100 and I am on season 7 so I guess spoiler ahead
I just watched episode 13 and I am sorry but WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT?????
She kills Bellamy and doesn't even get the damn book??? She kills Bellamy for a book?!? That she doesn't even get?!?!!??
I was hoping that maybe he was still bluffing somehow or that he was going to come back to his senses omfg what the fuck did I just watch...
Also side note: but the way Clarke goes absolutely bananas whenever anything involves Madie is so annoying... He was passing the book to someoenelse, she could have shot that guy first, then shoot Bellamy in a leg or something and gotten the damn thing... No she went straight for the kill and didn't even get the book.. Like wtf.
Also I have been waiting to rant about this but what in the actual fuck was Bellamy on. Like even if he wanted to belive all the "beings of light" stuff, it doesn't really make much sense that he was following the Shepherd so much. Like at the end of the day, the Shepher is supposed to be special cause he saw thw being of light or whatever the fuck. Okay great, but Bellamy saw them too. So shouldn't he question why these being of light appeared to him to, and then srart questioning if maybe it's really not a special thing to see them, they are just in that cave.
Plus Bellamy saw first hand in the previous seasons that whenever people start talking of Gods or the damn fucking City of Light, there's usually something else at play.
Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to belive the crap for a bit cause trauma or whatever and then snap out and be like "oh wait that stuff was probably just more alien ai tech or something".
Like genuinely what is the difference between Cadogan and Jaha. Jaha was always talking about the promised land too and like fair enough that Bellamy never ate the ai but still, you saw what a delulu fanatic looks like please bffr....
And even for the others to just immediately turn on Bellamy, as if they didn't already witness people going absolutely cucu for some false god, immaginary city or ascensio days... Like clearly the guy needs help the same way Raven and the others did.
But not let's just fatally wound the guy.
I swear I don't understand why she couldn't just shoot him in the legs. And why the fuck did they do this to his character 😫
I want to hope that maybe he gets magically resurrected with some more ai tech stuff... But from what it looks like it wont happen, there's only 3 episodes left wtf. I am so pissed, my babies 😫
"I tried everything, I promise" not the fuck you didn't. You talked to him for like 3 minutes, (the longest since you two met up again btw) and then shot him in the chest
Visual depiction of me watching Octavia and Echo forgive Clarke in less than five seconds as if Octavia didn't keep a grudge with Bellamy for a season and a half after Lincoln death and as if Echo wasn't ready to commit genocide less 4 episodes ago
I recently started binging the 100 and I am on season 7 so I guess spoiler ahead
I just watched episode 13 and I am sorry but WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT?????
She kills Bellamy and doesn't even get the damn book??? She kills Bellamy for a book?!? That she doesn't even get?!?!!??
I was hoping that maybe he was still bluffing somehow or that he was going to come back to his senses omfg what the fuck did I just watch...
Also side note: but the way Clarke goes absolutely bananas whenever anything involves Madie is so annoying... He was passing the book to someoenelse, she could have shot that guy first, then shoot Bellamy in a leg or something and gotten the damn thing... No she went straight for the kill and didn't even get the book.. Like wtf.
Also I have been waiting to rant about this but what in the actual fuck was Bellamy on. Like even if he wanted to belive all the "beings of light" stuff, it doesn't really make much sense that he was following the Shepherd so much. Like at the end of the day, the Shepher is supposed to be special cause he saw thw being of light or whatever the fuck. Okay great, but Bellamy saw them too. So shouldn't he question why these being of light appeared to him to, and then srart questioning if maybe it's really not a special thing to see them, they are just in that cave.
Plus Bellamy saw first hand in the previous seasons that whenever people start talking of Gods or the damn fucking City of Light, there's usually something else at play.
Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to belive the crap for a bit cause trauma or whatever and then snap out and be like "oh wait that stuff was probably just more alien ai tech or something".
Like genuinely what is the difference between Cadogan and Jaha. Jaha was always talking about the promised land too and like fair enough that Bellamy never ate the ai but still, you saw what a delulu fanatic looks like please bffr....
And even for the others to just immediately turn on Bellamy, as if they didn't already witness people going absolutely cucu for some false god, immaginary city or ascensio days... Like clearly the guy needs help the same way Raven and the others did.
But not let's just fatally wound the guy.
I swear I don't understand why she couldn't just shoot him in the legs. And why the fuck did they do this to his character 😫
I want to hope that maybe he gets magically resurrected with some more ai tech stuff... But from what it looks like it wont happen, there's only 3 episodes left wtf. I am so pissed, my babies 😫
"I tried everything, I promise" not the fuck you didn't. You talked to him for like 3 minutes, (the longest since you two met up again btw) and then shot him in the chest
I recently started binging the 100 and I am on season 7 so I guess spoiler ahead
I just watched episode 13 and I am sorry but WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT?????
She kills Bellamy and doesn't even get the damn book??? She kills Bellamy for a book?!? That she doesn't even get?!?!!??
I was hoping that maybe he was still bluffing somehow or that he was going to come back to his senses omfg what the fuck did I just watch...
Also side note: but the way Clarke goes absolutely bananas whenever anything involves Madie is so annoying... He was passing the book to someoenelse, she could have shot that guy first, then shoot Bellamy in a leg or something and gotten the damn thing... No she went straight for the kill and didn't even get the book.. Like wtf.
Also I have been waiting to rant about this but what in the actual fuck was Bellamy on. Like even if he wanted to belive all the "beings of light" stuff, it doesn't really make much sense that he was following the Shepherd so much. Like at the end of the day, the Shepher is supposed to be special cause he saw thw being of light or whatever the fuck. Okay great, but Bellamy saw them too. So shouldn't he question why these being of light appeared to him to, and then srart questioning if maybe it's really not a special thing to see them, they are just in that cave.
Plus Bellamy saw first hand in the previous seasons that whenever people start talking of Gods or the damn fucking City of Light, there's usually something else at play.
Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to belive the crap for a bit cause trauma or whatever and then snap out and be like "oh wait that stuff was probably just more alien ai tech or something".
Like genuinely what is the difference between Cadogan and Jaha. Jaha was always talking about the promised land too and like fair enough that Bellamy never ate the ai but still, you saw what a delulu fanatic looks like please bffr....
And even for the others to just immediately turn on Bellamy, as if they didn't already witness people going absolutely cucu for some false god, immaginary city or ascensio days... Like clearly the guy needs help the same way Raven and the others did.
But not let's just fatally wound the guy.
I swear I don't understand why she couldn't just shoot him in the legs. And why the fuck did they do this to his character 😫
I want to hope that maybe he gets magically resurrected with some more ai tech stuff... But from what it looks like it wont happen, there's only 3 episodes left wtf. I am so pissed, my babies 😫
