Completely Credible

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz // 30 // Human // Professor of Science/Biology

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bridgeiisms‌:

“How expensive are they usually?” He didn’t think the countertop was marble, but if it was, he wanted to get an estimate on how much he’d have to pay if he did accidentally scorch it. “I think you could’ve harvested marble if you wanted, but I’m kinda glad you didn’t, because then we wouldn’t have met.” He honestly wasn’t quite sure what his bio class would’ve been like if Heinz hadn’t taught it, but it wasn’t something he wanted to imagine. “If I didn’t seem like myself would you tell me?”

“My cousin wanted one a long time ago, but it was nearly $100 for a square foot of it! Can you believe that? I could make myself rich if I started selling it -- but, you are right. I would not have met you, or any of my students, so being a professor is good for me. “Of course I would! It could be a danger to your health or something, so I would always try to make you aware!”

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wrcitteninthestars‌:

“ That’s good that’s good! “ Roger replied enthusiastically. “ Me oh I’ve been pretty busy you know getting ready for the upcoming musical you know? “ Roger hadn’t thought about Halloween yet, even though it was his favorite holiday. “ You know.. I haven’t yet. I probably should though! “ 

“Oh! How is that going? When is it scheduled for? I would love to see it.” He smiled, sitting back in the chair. “We could work on something together for it; It would turn out wonderful, I imagine!”

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vanessa-doof‌:

“Don’t you understand that you remind me of home?” Vanessa didn’t hate Heinz. She couldn’t. He was a part of her, but she knew that he would be better off away from her, and she would be better off by herself. He had always been so kind, but she saw her parents’ faces in him.

“How do I remind you of home? I... Am nothing like our family.” The professor realized he was beginning to lose this argument, leaving him with an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. At first, he thought she’d be happy to see him here. However, he supposed he shouldn’t hold on to fantasies. But, she was his sister, his twin. If he thought anyone from their family would accept him, it would be her.

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havealittlefunfrost‌:

@doofinator3000 requested a starter

“Hey, Professor.” Jack said with a smile as he walked into the man’s office, a coffee in one hand and a hot chocolate in the other. Everyone he knew said he didn’t need caffeine, and he rather agreed with them. But he assumed professors would. “I didn’t quite get that lecture last week, do you mind explaining part of it again? Oh, this is for you.” He set the coffee down as he helped himself to a seat, starting to grab his book from his backpack.

Heinz had an appointment with Jack, which honestly was nice. He was happy when students came to him for help, especially when they utilized his office hours. “Ah, come in Jack!” The professor greeted as he turned away from his computer. “I’d be happy to; just let me finish this email!” He quickly began to type away on his keyboard for a few moments longer before turning his full attention to his student. “Thank you for the drink as well!”

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wrcitteninthestars‌:

Roger motioned to the seat, almost as if to invite him to sit down. “ Of course! Go right ahead my friend “ he replied with a grin. “ So how have things been going with you? “ he asked, proposing an arm on the table. 

“They’ve been going as well as one might expect. Busy, but manageable. What about with you, Roger? Anything interesting happen? Any plans for Halloween with your students?” Heinz sat down in the chair as he talked, allowing himself to get comfortable.

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what's it like being a human surrounded by supernatural creatures?

“If I can be quite frank, it’s aggravating. I get a little bit jealous when I see some of the werewolves walking around, but there is not much I can do about it. I care about the students, and that is what matters.”

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fiestypawprints‌:

“Art classes can be somewhat interesting but I’m not really that creative or artistic myself.  I tend to just take classes other people recommend are good.  There’s not a major for people who can’t make up their mind is there? I don’t know if I’m really a club person, not sure if I really like other people enough to be in a club.  Yeah but I’ve gotta pick something if I ever want to graduate in the first place.”

“No, I do not think there is a major for that, though a Bachelor’s of General Studies would probably be helpful. Some jobs do not even require degrees, so you could start looking at potential internships? Or looking at careers? My advice would be don’t spend the money unless you have to, though I can’t promise how solid that really is.”

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bridgeiisms‌:

“Although losing my toast made me sad, I’m glad I didn’t leave scorch marks on the counter. I don’t think my housemates would be too happy with me if I had.” Z had even asked him if he’d scorched the counter top, and he’d been relieved to tell her he hadn’t. “I would’ve, but I burnt it to a crisp.” He’d held a private funeral for it, but he wasn’t about to tell Heinz that. “Oh! I’d say I’m back to normal then. Or at least I think I am.”

“I’m sure losing your toast did make you sad, but the fact that your countertop is unscathed is the real treasure of this story. They can be expensive, especially if it’s marble. Have you seen how much people pay for those? At one point, I thought I might go into harvesting marble, but I don’t think I’m physically cut out for the job.” The professor smiled a bit. “Good! You seem like normal Bridge to me, but I always must make sure.”

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Do you believe in life after love?

“After love, after love?”

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Who is your favorite student?

“Favorite? I don’t think I’m legally allowed to have a favorite, though I don’t actually know the laws. But, between you and me, it’s Bridge.”

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Do you intend on taking over Fantasia University? Asking for a friend

“Taking over? That would be stupid. Do you know how much responsibility goes into running a college? I would much rather teach students than govern them; besides, my ultimate goal is to become a lycan and finally be accepted by my family. Why would you even think that I’m interested in running a college? I’d have to hire employees, fix a budget, deal with the angry public. No thank you.”

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vanessa-doof‌:

The sister’s glare did not falter, though inside she wondered if he was right. “Vanessa.” She said, her voice turning slightly colder. “I don’t have any family.” The words hurt even her as they left her mouth, but she worried about her mental health, her safety, Heinz’s safety. She made a lot of enemies in the CIA, and if any of them found out about her dorky twin, it might be the end of them both.

“Well, I understand casting out Roger and our parents, but, really, surely you mustn’t hate me? I have only ever tried to be kind to you.” Heinz felt his smile falter, a feeling in his gut telling him that his sister wasn’t playing around. It wasn’t something she usually did, anyways, though he kept his hopes up.

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bridgeiisms‌:

“It was weird. I set my toast on fire by accident.” Doing that had saddened him, since it was a plate of buttery toast gone to waste. “I’m glad I wasn’t exorcized too. I don’t really know what would’ve happened if I had been.” At the question if things were back to normal, he shrugged. Normal wasn’t exactly a word that anyone would use to describe him. And he wouldn’t use it to describe himself either. “Do you mean normal as in back to how I am usually, or normal as in not weird?”

“Ah, not your toast! Truly the peak of culinary expertise, ruined!” He placed his hands on his head dramatically as he spoke, a smile betraying his act. “Though, with how much buttery toast means to you, I can’t imagine you would not eat it,” the professor jested with another smile. “And ah... Normal as in your usual self. Everything at this school is a little bit weird, so I can’t expect that to just... disappear.”

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wrcitteninthestars‌:

“ I don’t doubt that for a second! “ he confessed entustically. He was always up to try something new. “ Plates… plates plates.. “ he muttered out as he searched for the needed utensils. Once he found them along with some plastic utensils, he snatched them from out of the drawer. “ Ah plates! Here we are! “ 

“You never fail to impress me, Roger!” The professor admitted as he began the long microwaving process. “Would you mind if I took a seat while we waited for our lunch to heat up?” He asked, placing his hand on the back of a chair. Heinz was certain his colleague wouldn’t mind, but it didn’t hurt to be polite.

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povverline‌:

Carson’s eyes lit up and an uncharacteristic smile found it’s home on their lips as they fell into step with their professor, “You have no clue how much this means to me. I know it’s part of the job and all, but there are definitely some professors here that don’t put in that extra effort – so I really appreciate it.” Their hands wrapped around the straps of their backpack before they offered a slight nod of their head. “I’d love to!” They were particularly grateful that they hadn’t caught the man at a time where he was overly preoccupied. “I’m honestly open to anything that comes to mind, I’m not exactly picky when it comes to opportunities to excel.”

“I was a student looking for opportunities once too, so I understand the excitement and meaning completely. I like to think that extra effort is my specialty.” Heinz offered a smile as the two of them made their way to his office. “Oh, then I’m definitely sure I can help you find something. But, is there anything specific that you are actually looking for? The closer it is to the job that you want, the better it looks on a resume.”

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povverline‌:

* closed starter for @doofinator3000.

Carson hurried down the hallway as they spotted their biology professor, wanting to discuss something with him. “Excuse me! Professor Doofenshmirtz!” They called out to the other before they finally managed to catch up and reach the other’s side. A smile easily slipped onto their lips, “Hi, um… sorry for bothering you outside of class but I was wondering if you should help me with something. I’ve been looking for internships recently so I can work my way up to interning to the sports medicine head here at Fantasia. Do you think you could give me a recommendation or help me find something? I would really appreciate it, honestly.”

The professor stopped as he heard his name called, and he turned back to look, offering a smile to his student. He waited for them to catch up before continuing to walk, a bit slower this time so they could keep pace. “You’re not bothering me in the slightest; do not worry, Carson. I am always happy to help when I have the time to.” Heinz offered a grin before speaking again. “Internships huh? I could help you find one as well as write a letter of recommendation. It’s something I’d be happy to do. Would you like to come with me to my office?”

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wrcitteninthestars‌:

Roger found his mouth watering from the mere thought of the food that had been described to him. “ Sounds delicious!  “ he conquered with an enthusiastic nod. “ You’re making me hungry just thinking about it. “ he replied honestly. “ I’m pretty sure there’s a microwave around here… “ he said as he looked around for one. When he turned around his eyes spotted one behind his spot. “ Oh there’s one for instance… “ 

“Wundarbar! I promise you Roger, this will be like nothing you’ve tasted before in your life! It was my gran’s recipe, and all who have tried it have loved it.” Heinz offered his friend a smile as he began to pull out a few Tupperware containers filled to the brim with home-cooked food. “If you have plates and silverware, that is all we need!”