Favorite writers and their masterlists!!
Any works by these writers I eat up like I've been starved of good fanfics otherwise. I can't just pick one so read all! Some of them write more than Ateez, take a look! (except mine, thats just here)
> MOST OF THESE WRITE NSFW CONTENT SO MDNI!<
> Doom/me < @potatomountain ~ Masterlist
> Topaz < @sanjoongie ~ Masterlist
> Dae < @daemour ~ Masterlist / nsfw @daddyfordaeddy ~ Masterlist
> Flurry < @flurrys-creativity ~ Masterlist
> Minerva < @yourlocaljonghoe ~ Masterlist
> AJ < @bangtanintotheroom ~ Masterlist (they only have 2 ATZ works atm, both im obsessed with, but they have more works for BTS and other groups!)
> Lyla < @tenelkadjowrites ~ Masterlist (they have the most beautiful Hwa pieces but they have been on hiatus for awhile - unsure if coming back but i recommend them nevertheless)
 @honeyhotteoks as well!
My go-to SMAU writers
> Cass < @adelusionforyourthoughts ~ Masterlist
> SMT < @songmingisthighs ~ Masterlist (they have written works too)
On Ao3
Thetheoryofdreaming
Old Masterlist - single works that will later be transferred to a new masterlist
This is a work in progress, and these are just ones i know off the top of my head that i read continuously. If you know of a writer, or a fic, that you recommend, add in the comments and I'll check them out and maybe put them here!
Please share, reblog, and spread so that these amazing writers, and works, get the recognition they deserve. As always,
~ Pairing: Kang Yeosang x Jung Wooyoung
~ Au/genre: vampire, royal, fake dating, enemies to lovers
~ Word count: 7.6k
~ Summary: picking a date for a new year's ball that signifies new beginnings isnât an easy task for Yeosang, son of a Duke, when it might result in marriage talks. And that's the last thing he wants, getting married just for bloodline sake. Thankfully he has a best friend who's status leaves just enough to be desired to make him a bad candidate for marriage. It'll be easy AND he can spend the horrid event with all of his friends this time. Yeosang really didn't think it through... this is Wooyoung after all.
~ Warnings: rated G. A tad suggestive. A lot of gay panic and denial and inner turmoil.
Banner made by @yourfatherlucifer <3
~ AN: a winter prompt submission for @lapydiaries winter event
--- Prompt: âHey, I need you to pretend to be my date for this (holiday of choice) party, pleasee?â âAlright. Do I call you âbabeâ? or do you want to be like, âsweetheartâ or âmy dearie honey boo booâ or something? âForget it.â + the first kiss
There was a lot he could take before cracking, some would say too much. And some would say this being the last straw makes no sense. As if Yeosang, the son of a Duke, would fall under pressure of marriage talks. The choice should be obvious, another high ranking or powerful vampire, especially since the elders were so picky about recreation and keeping blood lines pure.
But Yeosang didn't like any of the choices. To marry and breed? Or get bred by? Romance never mattered and all he wanted to do was continue his current lifestyle with no changes. This was a companion he had to spend the rest of his life with, a fact his parents did not care for.
Continue the bloodline.
Yeosang could only scoff thinking about it. It wasn't like they were forcing him now, he was still young by vampire standards, but with the Blood Ball coming up, he knew it would be greatly pressed by his parents, elders, and others.Â
His bedroom door slammed open, the blonde's head shooting up to see who was disturbing his internal spiral and crisis. The bright lights from the hall reached all the way to his large four poster bed, not even the thick velvet curtains stopping it from reaching his eyes. He debated on reaching over and yanking said curtains closed, but then he registered who it was as soon as they called out to him.
âOh Sangie~ the tailor is here for ya. Your ma said it's for your ball outfit and your date. I didn't know you had a date.â Wooyoung eased his way over and plopped down on the edge of the bed, pouting at the blonde vampire. âSome best friend you are! So who is it? Can't be Seonghwa, he's got a mystery date! My money is on Hongjoong though for that. Is it Jongho? Talk of the servants is that Jongho is most likely for marriage ya know. Even if he's just a count, his voice and ability make up for the lack of status.â
With a huff, Yeosang rolled over and pulled a pillow over his head. While his friends would be a nice idea⌠he didn't want to subjugate any of them to his parents' marriage talks just because they accompanied him to the ball. Though he did hope Wooyoung was right about Seonghwa and Hongjoong, the flirtatious dance the Prince and tailor have been doing for years was starting to get even on Yeosang's nerves. Count's and Marquess's with abilities were able to marry up and as son of a Marquess, Hongjoong's abilities and reputation could guarantee Prince Seonghwaâs hand in marriage.Â
That was also why Jongho, the son of a Count, with his own abilities was seen as a viable option for Yeosang's hand. And as friends, Yeosang did like Jongho. Just⌠not enough to marry. Plus Jongho cared more for his music than marriage as well.
He thought of the other options, like Yunho who was a son of a Duke like him, or from Jongho's main family branch: San. But they both could end up in an arranged marriage with him too easily and he, again, couldn't risk that.Â
His options were dwindling and he was getting very frustrated about it. Especially since he would have to go downstairs and tell their friend Hongjoong who his date was. While he could understand if Yeosang didn't have one⌠he was here on his mother's dime and that solved nothing. So he needed one⌠well now.
âHey- what was that for?â Wooyoung whined and pulled Yeosang out of his head, the latter not even realizing he had been growling. He felt Wooyoung's hand on his arm and let him pull him back, meeting his worried red eyes.
And maybe he did have one.
Quickly he sat up, his own golden eyes peering at his best friend while he weighed his options. In all technicality⌠Wooyoung was a servant. He had a charisma ability, but the fact his father was a turned vampire and their head chef which would keep his family from jumping right to marriage talks. Even if his mother was the daughter of a Marquess herself, she gave up rights to Wooyoung to keep her status when he was born, and his family swiped up both Wooyoung and his father for their kitchen.
Making food pure blood vampires could eat was a rarity after all, but he didn't think it was enough for people to suggest Wooyoung and him marry.
So with his best puppy dog look he took Wooyoung's hands in his, leaning forward and ready to plead. âHey, I need you to pretend to be my date for the New Year Blood Ball, pleeeease?â
Wooyoung blinked a few times, shock evident from wide eyes to his slack jaw. One moment turned to two and Yeosang was starting to get worried that he broke his friend.
Slowly, the black haired vampire smiled. âAlright. But since we are already friends, we should probably make it more believable. Should I call you âbabeâ? Or do you want to be like, âsweetheartâ or âmy dearie honey boo booâ or something?â
Oh he made a grave mistake, Yeosang realized with his own widening eyes. He forgot to take in the fact that this is Wooyoung. His playmate nearly his whole life, who was shameless and charismatic and cared nothing for the bloodline titles. Who was about to be insufferable not only for the Ball but the days leading up to it.
With a gasp Yeosang pulled away, waving his hands in front of himself helplessly. âForget it. That's too much. I'll find someone else.â
âAw come on! If you're asking me then you don't have anyone else do you? Not without complicating things! And I wanna go, I never get to go to these parties Sangie~ Please? Please please don't take it back now!â Wooyoung pleaded, chasing him and taking his hands back. âCome on sweetheart.â
The sweetheart was definitely unnecessary, Yeosang huffed, but he did feel guilty now. Wooyoung didn't have enough status to go by himself, but as his date he could. And all of his other friends would be there. The same friends who loved Wooyoung as he is, not for his status, just like Yeosang.
His shoulders dropped just enough for Wooyoung to know he was winning, so he pushed forward, whining and pouting as he kept himself in Yeosang's sight. Until finally, Yeosang relented. âFine. You can be my date.â As if he wasnât the one to ask him in the first place.
Not that Wooyoung cared, throwing his hands up and cheering as if Yeosang just offered him a million bucks. Sighing dramatically, Yeosang shook his head, only to smile softly as he watched the other vampire show his excitement so cutely.Â
No, Yeosang would not address the fact he just thought of Jung Wooyoung as âcuteâ.
Once the other had gotten his energy out, he pulled Yeosang off the bed and talked a mile a minute as he threw out ideas for what to wear. The New Year Blood Ball was a yearly and important tradition for vampires, signifying new life, just as their blood had the power to give. It was also a week-long event of sorts, all week humans could state their case to be willingly turned and vampires could choose to do so or not. Some were screened for the potential for abilities. And on the last day, all vampires celebrated the expansion of their race.
As well as flaunting it.
Not that Yeosang and the others cared for the gilded politics that went into dramatic dances and blood rites. But they did get to wear their finest clothing and jewels, which Wooyoung was clearly very excited about doing while he helped Yeosang dress.
And if Yeosang felt a pang of something akin to guilt at the realization that Wooyoung wanted that so much and Yeosang found it appalling⌠that was for him to unpack another time.
In the parlor room, Hongjoong was waiting for them, playing with the thick black cane and curved steel dragon head in his hands. While he didnât need a cane, he had a selection of them with hidden blades and poisons, though Yeosang was sure he carried those just for the dangerous thrill of having them on him.
His perfect black and white split hair was slicked back and didnât move even as he shot his head up to greet them, not at all surprised to see Wooyoung there.
Yeosangâs mother was a different story. She had been sitting on one of the high backing love seats and frowned when Wooyoung strode in next to Yeosang. âThank you for fetching him Wooyoung, you are dismissed.â
âHeâs my date though, mother. For the ball.â
That was enough to get a reaction out of both of them. Wooyoungâs bright, winning grin did not help Yeosangâs growing nerves. His mother looked furious for a moment, Hongjoong too stunned for words, and Yeosang hiding his shaking hands behind his back. âIs that a problem?â
He knew his mother didnât dislike Wooyoung, she was just more firm in the bloodline than they were. And no matter how much she liked Wooyoung, he wouldnât be a viable marriage partner for her only son.
By some grace of fate, she decided not to comment on it. Though the glance that was thrown in Hongjoongâs direction had Yeosang suspecting she didnât want to say something the tailor wouldnât like, knowing he had the ear of the Prince. âAlright, then Iâll leave you to it. I donât think I need to be here to walk you through this.â She stood up with grace that always instilled awe, her head high as she breezed past them as if her feet werenât even touching the floor.
No sooner were the doors shut did Hongjoong burst into a wide grin. âAbout time.â
The comment went over Yeosangâs head as he let out a deep breath, smoothing his hands over his pants before approaching the well dressed tailor and dear friend. âSo uh, an outfit for the both of us? Whatever Wooyoung wants.â
âOh sugar plum! Youâre so sweet!!â Before he had time to react, a sloppy kiss was placed to the side of Yeosangâs cheek following the words. He winced at the contact, glaring at the affectionate vampire as he quickly moved onto his next target.
A few slaps to the thigh with the end of the cane stopped Wooyoung from smooching Hongjoongâs exposed skin, a grimace on his face as the vampire acted as if he enjoyed the slaps.
âEw, the fuck?!â
âWhat? Only Hwa allowed to enjoy your spankings? That is unfair! He should share them!â
âI do not spank Hwa!â
âSo he spanks you?â
âOh my Stars, Wooyoung! Do you want your outfit for the ball or not? Fuck I have to measure you for this. Is it too late to back out.â
The bickering back and forth went on well through the measuring process, Yeosang watching with a heavy lump in his chest that wasnât all that uncomfortable. True to his word he let Wooyoung do all the talking, only giving his input when asked though it was mostly agreeing if things were okay.
A red and black jeweled color scheme with silk accents was all that registered in Yeosangâs mind, finding himself smiling softly at the pleasant atmosphere. Wooyoung always put him at ease, the sound of his yapping in the background as close to home as the vampire had ever felt. Itâs in all his favorite memories, even if said memories were about another one of his friends, Wooyoung was there.
By the time Hongjoong was done measuring them and jotting down Wooyoungâs wishes, Yeosang was a bit more confident that taking Wooyoung as his date was the right idea. He was excited, Hongjoong approved, and the ball would be much more fun and tolerable with the eight of them together.
It would take two weeks for the outfits to be done as Hongjoong informed them he had a list, but he set up an appointment with a jeweler for the outfits, and suggested that Yeosang get some pieces from them as well.
That meeting went much more differently than with Hongjoong. The man, Hyunjin, seemed to judge Yeosangâs choice of date. Hongjoong had given them a headâs up that the man was a romantic though, so it was entirely Wooyoungâs idea to play in love.
As if they hadnât been doing that the last for days anyways. Days of over-the-top terms of endearments and extra touches from Wooyoung, but that wouldnât be enough to sell it. It wasnât easy for the blonde vampire though, as every touch and term had his brain a tad fuzzy and left him confused and a tad distraught.Â
He was still reeling from Wooyoung purring out âDarlingâ and his hand on his hip moments ago when Hyunjinâs voice cut through the fog like a burning dagger. âI donât think you could afford this piece.â
Yeosangâs eyes flickered over to Wooyoung, the charismatic smile still there but Yeosang knew him enough to notice the dimness in his red eyes. He didnât like it, when his best friendâs charm was dimmed. He was acting before his brain caught up, now standing next to Wooyoung and placing a hand on his hip almost possessively. He glanced down at the jeweled body harness, some pearls and rubies and black diamonds intricately woven together from a choker down to a belly chain, a few beautiful chains draping off and around the torso as well.
Expensive, but nothing Yeosang couldnât afford with his own money. Maybe out of Wooyoungâs budget, but Hyunjin failed to account for the fact Wooyoung wasnât paying. âAre you saying this is too expensive for even a Dukeâs household? I donât remember saying my love was paying for anything.â He kept his tone at an innocent level, playing dumb while the words themselves were daggers towards the jeweler.
Hyunjin quickly looked down, mumbling an apology before writing down the order for it. âWould you like matching earrings to the set then?â
âIf he wants them.â He drawled cooly, squeezing Wooyoungâs hip in gentle reassurance. He would have to get used to this, knowing other nobles were going to be just as rude, if not more, at the ball. Hyunjin was simply a count, even if he had an artistic ability, and yet he was looking down on Wooyoung because of his status- or lack thereof.Â
Yeosang had never liked it when someone with a title met Wooyoung and looked down on him, but at the moment it had him more upset than usual. He blamed it on the fact Wooyoung was to be his date for this Ball and filed it away without further scrutiny.Â
Hyunjin seemed to take the hint and backed off, nodding and making a note of the desired items. Yet it didnât satisfy the vampire. âOne last thing, if you can add it.â He started, waiting until the pretty jeweler looked up because it was undeniable the man was beautiful. âOn the choker, put my initials.â
With a gasp, Wooyoungâs head swiveled in his direction, and Yeosang didnât need to glance at him to know the expression he wore. One of shock, pretty pink lips parted until they pulled into a smirk. It took everything in Yeosang not to flush at the intensity of both their gazes and the implications his request meant.
He just didnât know how else to put his clear claim on Wooyoung, believing it would weed out a majority of rude comments the other would get. But then what if Wooyoung didnât like the idea? What if he was overstepping by doing that? Getting a custom body harness with his initials that would only ever fit Wooyoung? It was far too much for a fake date for one night.
The blonde knew that, the fear of overstepping growing in the drawn out tense silence that filled the room.
As if sensing his anxiety, Wooyoung leaned against his side and cupped the side of his neck, turning Yeosang with the nudge of his thumb on his jaw. He was met with Wooyoungâs sultry gaze that was like a fox about to pounce on his prey, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he all but purred out âGreat idea Sangie. Everyone would know who I belong to then, no questions.â
And if the words were like a bolt of lightning that heated up his dead veins and stirred his groin and fizzled his brain? That was filed away with the dozens of other times and emotions the other vampire had made him feel similarly in the last few days.
Clearing his throat to pull the attention back on him â effectively snapping Yeosang out of some heat-addled daze he found himself in â Hyunjin wrote the modification down. âRight, that will be extra, but I donât see why I canât get it done. Just need measurements-â
Without taking his eyes off of Yeosangâs frozen features, Wooyoung rattled off his own measurements with ease, his thumb running across Yeosangâs sharp jaw like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Yeosang was just glad he didnât need to breathe because the motion stole any potential breath from him anyways. In fact, the slightest movement he felt would set him in a spiral of some unknown emotion he was trying to hold back.Â
He can dissect what is wrong with him after the Ball, when he could get space from Wooyoung without raising suspicions.
Though was he selling this too much? Would it cause problems? Would it be so bad to make it obvious he wasnât really with Wooyoung? Yes, his brain immediately interjected, because it would ruin any reputation Wooyoung had among high society. Even if the other didnât care, his own parents did and a bad reputation for Wooyoung would be bad for employment.
âWhat do you think, Sweetheart?â Wooyoungâs teasing lilt tore him from his thoughts, yet again, which resulted in an amused chuckle. âAre you that distracted by my touches? Sorry Darling, Iâll play nice⌠for now.âÂ
Just like that, Wooyoung created space between the two, Yeosang blinking in confusion before this time he really couldnât help the way his cheeks flamed in embarrassment. âS-Sorry. What was being said?â
Hyunjin just let out a long, weary sigh. âI was asking if the 28th is a good day for me to stop by with the harness and make sure it fits. I can make any adjustments on the day of.â He seemed in a rush to end the meeting, which Yeosang found disrespectful on a whole other level. Merchants, tailors, jewelers and more usually werenât in a rush to leave business with nobility, but he also didnât see a reason to keep the man either. He suspected it had to do with Wooyoung and him being so affectionate.
Yeosang didnât realize he was staring the man down with a hardened look, jaw a bit tense as he tried to figure out if he really was being disrespectful. The jeweler flinched unintentionally. âA harness like this takes time, Sir, especially with the modification of your initials. I mean no disrespect by my insistence to end here for the day.â He clarified, bowing as if that would placate the vampire.
He only relaxed at Wooyoungâs soft laugh. âOf course you donât. Itâs my bad for picking out such a big and pretty piece. Iâve just never worn anything like it and Sugarplum here has a few you have made him. They always look so nice on him I justâŚâ He trailed off, feigning an almost shy and bashful expression when Hyunjin stood back up. âI mean they are absolutely beautiful pieces. No question anything you make will make me shine and for one night I just wanted to shine like my love does. Be worthy to stand by his side around all of high society. Is that too much?â
Oh he saw the exact moment the man became charmed by his best friend, his eyes widening and lips parting a silent âoâ. âN-no! I am happy to provide such a piece for you!â Hyunjin stood up straight, a flush to his cheeks that had Yeosang bristling for some reason. Another reaction for the box. Though it didnât go away as quick as he hoped, the merchant flashing Wooyoung a dazzling smile that was meant to charm.
It was an effort for Yeosang to keep his thoughts in the present and not spiral once more over the whole situation. âThat day works perfectly. I trust you, as always, to make a piece befitting the Dukedom. I know Wooyoungâs status is not the most⌠ideal, but with your work and Joongâs I know he will fit right in.â
Hyunjin turned the smile onto Yeosang, rising to the challenge in the blonde vampireâs words. If there was one thing Yeosang knew about the merchants he dealt with, it was that they took pride in their craft as the best. Wooyoung had easily stoked Hyujinâs ego in that, and Yeosang just reinforced that. âYou can count on me, Sir. It will be a piece befitting the love of the future Duke.â He bowed again, this time deeper and with more respect.
With a nod, Yeosang turned to Wooyoung. âAnything else you want, dear?â
Wooyoung made a show of thinking about it for a minute before beaming over at the jeweler. âNo, that should be it. I donât want to give you too much. But Iâm sure weâll have more opportunities in the future, right?â
Hyunjin nodded, almost looking forward to it, and Yeosang was too busy being shocked by his eagerness to understand exactly what that meant.
In true Yeosang fashion, he just threw it into the box and ignored it, instead discussing price with Hyunjin before leading Wooyoung out of the room. The latter didnât go into details about it either, even when they were alone in his quarters, Yeosang flopping back onto his bed with a heavy sigh.
Wooyoung flopped onto the bed next to him but on his stomach, that wide mischievous grin on his face was the only warning the blonde had before he suddenly had the other vampire koalaâed onto him. Wooyoung was always physically affectionate especially when they were alone, so Yeosang didnât much like the way he tensed up from the cuddling.
A fact the other didnât point out. He just started talking about how excited he was to wear the jewelry bodice, conveniently leaving out the possessive detail Yeosang asked for. It at least eased Yeosangâs worries of overstepping. His best friend wouldnât be this excited about the piece if he was upset about the possessive lettering.
Yeosang let his joy infect him and ease his nerves until he found himself taking an impromptu nap, unaware it would be one of the few times that he could be alone with his friend before the ball in the coming days.
The lack of odd pet names and overly done flirting should be a blessing for Yeosang, but he found himself more wound up without it. Had he gotten used to the exaggerated affections?Â
He most definitely ignored the way his undead heart felt like it would beat out of his chest whenever he saw Wooyoung in between his new etiquette classes, the other boy lighting up at the sight of him and practically yelling at the top of his lungs for him. While yes, Yeosang was embarrassed to hear the screech of âDarling! Welcome home!â from the top of the grand stairs after he returned from a visit with Seonghwa, he also couldnât deny how happy it made him.
With a shy wave at the other â who was currently holding a stack of books and heading to the library with his current instructor â Yeosang avoided all the eyes of the other servants and staff milling about. The head butler who was coming to greet Yeosang had let out a soft sigh, but thankfully it was enough of an occurrence that the butler in question thought nothing of it but fondness.
As did most of the staff, if Yeosang allowed himself to look at the others.
It was no secret the staff loved Wooyoung, having grown up in these halls with Yeosang and many of the younger children of some staff. But with the etiquette lessons and his motherâs attention on Wooyoung full force, he half expected the staff to grow wary. Instead it was the opposite, some of them even calling Wooyoung âMaster Woo.â
It almost felt like they were accepting him as Yeosangâs betrothed. Almost. Yeosang just waved it off as everyone being overly familiar with him to begin with. And the etiquette classes? That was just his mother making sure Wooyoung wasnât an embarrassment to them since Yeosang refused to change his mind. Plus, the outfits were bought and would be dropped off in the coming days.
Yeosang felt like he was just going through the motions, doing his duties, visiting when called upon, feeding when he got hungry, and spending far too much time in his head just barely glossing over the many things in his mental box but coming to no conclusions.
He was scared to, he realized. Instinctively knowing that sorting those out would change things in ways that couldnât be undone. He liked his life as it was, that was why he chose Wooyoung as his date, to keep his life as its current routine without marriage or romance. There was no desire for those in his life.
Right?
Heading up to his room, pausing to glance down the hall towards the library where he could vaguely hear his friendâs laughter carry through the walls, Yeosang wasnât so sure any more.
Now he was even less sure, staring at the white bedazzled outfit Wooyoung wore. The jacket was gorgeous, Hongjoong standing aside and beaming with pride. There was a simple white silk shirt underneath that the body harness would lay on top of and tie in the cluster of black and red threading on his shoulders, cape, and down the length of his pants.
The fact it was in a similar fashion to what Yeosang stood in, although it was a black ensemble with white and red clusters, just further flustered the vampire. Wooyoung's outfit was more straight cut, the cape the most flowy and it was a short one off of one shoulder. Yeosang's outfit was much more flowy, the jacket cut off at the waist to show off the beading and structure of the corset, black and red ruffles pooling out from under it to give the impression of a half skirt.Â
âI think this is some of my best designs yet. You had a great idea with the contrasting colors, Woo.â Hongjoong announced as he looked them over, moving to fix Yeosangâs longer cap and then adjust the soft silk of his top. âHyunjin showed me the pieces he was working on for you both, so I only made your jacket with one button Wooyoung to better show off the work. I did include this-â He held up a sheer sparkling white shirt â-in case you wanted to change it.â He said with a smirk, handing the fabric over to Wooyoung who giggled.
Yeosang turned quickly to look at himself in the mirror, lifting the deep red boots that matched Wooyoungâs, a heel on both pairs that stuck out of the flowy end of both pants. His scrutiny of his outfit was joined by the other, a wide grin on his features as his dark eyes ran over Yeosangâs form. With Yeosangâs blonde hair and Wooyoungâs deep cherry red, the outfits complimented them well.
A lie, the outfits made them look like two halves of the same whole. Wooyoung certainly looked like he belonged next to Yeosang. And the vampire could not deny how right that thought felt. Wooyoung by his side? Always?
A jarring desire that hit him square in the chest and clogged his throat with the force of it.
âYou like how we look, Darling?â Wooyoung asked, leaning closer to him while meeting his golden eyes in the mirror. Wooyoungâs own red burned with unknown emotion and for the first time, it became eerily haunting the sort of fire Yeosang was playing with.
He nodded, slow and barely there, but it was enough for the other to turn and express his praise to the designer, leaving Yeosang to his thoughts.
One thought in particular felt like a stone breaking his ribs: Wooyoung had looked like a duke and Yeosang his duchess. Would it be even more uncanny with the jewelry and makeup they planned to don for the ball?
And why did the imagery excite him?
Yeosang was quiet for most of the fitting and alterations Hongjoong did, only talking when it came to forking over payment. It wasnât unusual for Yeosang to be quiet, though he knew he was being uncharacteristically quiet even for himself these last few days. Too lost in his head. Too busy trying not to spiral with new emotions but doing a piss poor job of it anyways.
Yet Wooyoung never commented on it. He was sure he noticed, if only for the occasional worried glances he would send his way or whispered apologies in their goodbyes. But that night, Yeosang said only a handful of phrases until he retired to bed, his outfit for the ball on the mannequin in the corner of his room, right next to Wooyoungâs.
If he stared at it nearly all night, that was his business.
Unfortunately the lack of sleep and confusing emotions made him even less verbal the next day when Hyunjin came to visit. He met the jeweler in the parlor and examined the beautiful pieces that Hyunjin showed off with pride while they waited for Wooyoung to join them. Apparently he felt the need to rush to his room to change before meeting them.Â
Or perhaps it was fortunate he did, briskly walking into the room wearing the white pants for his outfit and just the sheer shirt. It was a painstaking effort not to notice the deep pink of his nipples through his shirt, as well as the lean and toned lines that stoked a fire in his belly.
Was Wooyoung always this⌠sexy?Â
âOh I love it on you!â Hyunjin gushed as he stood up, smiling and pressing his hands together in front of him while Wooyoung did a dramatic turn for him. âI saw the jacket so I am happy that most of it wonât be hidden. Now letâs see how this fits you.â
With increasing distress, Yeosang could only sit and watch as Hyunjin began to put the jeweled piece on him with delicate hands. From the collar to the waist chain that would no doubt peak out when they danced or Wooyoung lifted his arms-
It fit along his torso like a glove, stealing Yeosangâs breath away if he needed it. While Hyunjinâs hands flitted over his body to settle it right, then gently touched his jaw to put on the earrings that cupped the rim of his ears, Yeosang felt a new fire in his stomach.
Possessive. Jealousy.
He couldnât even brush the feeling aside before those two words flitted his mind, telling him exactly how he felt.
âWhat do you thi-â Wooyoungâs question was broken off by Yeosangâs sudden closeness, though even he didnât know when he moved. He stood before Wooyoung, his fingers flitting over the jewels and delicate silver, completely ignoring the creator of such a piece. âSangie?â
No pet name. It made Yeosangâs lips pull down in the slightest frown. Instead of answering, his hands moved up to his neck, tracing his initials in black and red like it was a possessive mark on his throat.
Whatever came over him to tilt Wooyoungâs head back and bring his lips to the metal was beyond him. Pure instinct he would later say. Instinct to show claim, bright golden eyes flickering to Hyunjin almost in warning.
So close to his throat he could hear Wooyoung swallow, his breath hitch, and feel his body tense. The rumble of his voice and hands gripping his shirt was what had Yeosang pulling away abruptly.
He couldnât believe he just did that. Shame filled his lungs and he avoided looking at Wooyoung though his eyes softened on Hyunjin. âItâs perfect. Payment?â Now he was the one in a rush to get the jewelry gone.
It took a moment for Hyunjin to snap the shock off his features and return back to his business-like persona. Hyunjin, who was such a gossip, had just seen him kiss Wooyoungâs throat, the most intimate place he possibly could in front of company while keeping things appropriate.
Thankfully Hyunjin did not comment on it and Yeosang was quickly paying the man. Wooyoung seemed shell-shocked, staying silent through the process, but as soon as payment was handed over, Yeosang was slipping out the first excuse to leave. âI need to check on something. Wooyoung can help you with the rest.â He mumbled and then breezed past his friend.
Had he fucked up? Was he beyond screwed?
Getting upset that a merchant was touching his own creation on his best friendâs body that he had felt the need to do that? Got what was wrong with him?
He shut himself in his room and practically screamed into the pillows, flustered as he glanced out the open windows at the bright, clear moon.
There was no way he could deny this any longer. He liked Wooyoung. Romantically. How was he going to survive an entire ball dancing and standing by his side? How could he handle any rumors that might spark afterwards of their relationship?
The biggest fear that blossomed in his chest was what if Wooyoung did not feel the same, and he would still have no choice but to marry someone else?
In true Yeosang fashion, he spent the remaining days spiraling and avoiding. Every time Wooyoung called out to him he turned on his heel and ran the other way. He kept his door locked when he was alone in his room to avoid the vampire from coming in. He even avoided meals and feeding just so as not to risk running into Wooyoung.
It was his mother who called him out on his behavior, the day of the ball opening his bedroom with her own master key and gliding over to his bed. âKang Yeosang.â Her voice sent chills down his spine, causing the last bits of sleep to dash from his mind as he sat up. âYou want to explain why you are avoiding your date for this evening?â
He sighed, glancing over at the dual outfits in the corner before up at his mother with her icy expression. He couldnât say, but he also wouldnât be able to rid of her presence until she had a satisfactory answer. Telling her that he realized how much he wanted to be with said date when he had insisted the two were so in love that was why he wanted Wooyoung as his date was⌠well that was a punishment waiting to happen for both parties involved.
So he racked his brain for any of his spiraling thoughts that she would buy as reason enough, coming to only one.
âI⌠I realized how foolish it is to bring Wooyoung. No matter how much I dress him up or the classes he takes, he wonât earn the approval, will he?âÂ
Say he does recuperate Yeosangâs feelings, the very reason he chose Wooyoung as his date is the one thing that would stop them from ever becoming more. His father cared too much about bloodlines and his mother cared too much about appearances. Wooyoung did not qualify in those regards.
He would never be able to mate with him, and that was what made his feelings so terrifying. Even if he cared nothing for status. Even if he and his friends adored and treated Wooyoung like an equal, as the sole heir to the dukedom, he would not be able to marry Wooyoung. Not without running off but that might mean leaving all their friends behind. And he could never ask Wooyoung to do that.
His mother softened at that, a cool smile on her face. âI am glad to know you understand that, my son, even with your⌠obvious affections for him. It is better to break it off sooner rather than later. Worry not, we will find you a partner for future events, but for this one it is too late to change anything. Come, get up. He is still your friend and the Prince and others shall also be there. It is not a total waste.â
Taking the bait, his mother patted his head softly in a moment of rare parental affection before turning and glancing at the clothes. âThough I must admit⌠if he had a more noble birth I would have no qualms about accepting him into the family. He is quite charming.â
For whatever reason, that seemed to sting more than if she had been adamantly against him, but Yeosang kept it to himself.
Fueled to just get through this evening, he slipped out of bed and went to bathe. He took his time, letting servants help him out and come do his hair and makeup and help him dress.Â
His eyes flickered to the mannequinâs, both empty now though he hadnât seen anyone come grab Wooyoungâs. The vampire also didnât come to look for it, so he vaguely assumed it was taken while he was in the bath. He wasnât sure how he was going to keep his reaction neutral once seeing the other, knowing he would be fully dressed and dolled up, matching Yeosang as if they were a power couple, not two friends pretending.
Not that he had to worry, as the second he spotted Wooyoung in the foyer, no one was looking at him.Â
Seeing Wooyoung standing next to his father, both smiling and seemingly to enjoy their company, while Wooyoungâs entire visage was breath-takingly gorgeous and fit in next to his parents with ease. He was wearing the sheer shirt under the jacket, the jeweled bodice flirting with its presence and tying in with the rest of the look. His lips were ruby red, eyes shadowed and sultry, cherry hair pushed back but not so smoothed down that it looked out of place, only half while the other swooped over his forehead and behind his ear.
The urge to step up and run his hair through it and ruin the perfect locks was almost overwhelming, so instead he reached up to play with his own blonde curls, knowing his look was much less heavy to compliment Wooyoung.
What was even more jarring was how his mother was looking at Wooyoung, seeming conflicted. Why, he had no idea, but it was what he needed to find his feet again and close the distance. âAppa, Young-ah, ready?â He called out, both men turning to him.
âOh Yeosang-â His father sighed out softly, almost fondly, as his eyes darted between him and Wooyoung. âYou two are truly a sight.â
Did his father just compliment Wooyoung? What had he missed?Â
He turned his attention to said vampire in hopes of an answer but to his surprise, Wooyoung didnât look at him. When he did, Yeosang flinched.
Why did he look upset? Was he not excited for this?
Yeosang didnât get an answer until he was in the carriage, his parents in their own to leave them be. Wooyoung sat across from him, staring at the window in silence, jaw taunt.
âWooyoung? Are you not excited?â Yeosang prompted after moments of quiet, the silence too heavy for him.
His friendâs red eyes flickered towards him, unreadable in the dark of the carriage, only the sounds of the horsesâ hooves and rattle of the wheels filling the space.
Then, so soft that he wouldnât hear it if he was human, Wooyoung breathed out âI will try not to embarrass you, Master Yeosang.â
It felt like a slap, Yeosang flinching back and reeling. He knew Wooyoung meant for him to hear, but did he know it was like a burning stake through his heart, twisting to provide him with impossible levels of agony for his undead self?
Wooyoung had heard him and his mother and gotten the wrong impression. Gone were his doubts. His fears. The anxiety. He couldnât have Wooyoung believing that Yeosang was embarrassed by him!
âThatâs not- Wooyoung I didnât mean-â He stumbled out, wincing as Wooyoung rolled his eyes dramatically.
âYou donât think itâs foolish to bring me? Really?â He snapped out, clearly hurt by Yeosangâs own words.
âI only worded it that way so she would back off!â
âBut you still think it, don't you!â
âYes but not-â
âWas I too much? Is that what it was? You couldnât tell me to my face? I thought we could tell each other anything, Sang-ah? Instead you avoided me and thought bringing me is foolish!â
âBecause it is!â Yeosang snapped out, trying to get Wooyoung to stop his tirade. âItâs foolish to show you off when nothing can come of it!â
Wooyoung gaped at him, eyes wide and pain glistening in the deep depths. âWhat do you mean by that? That I wonât be enough to keep you from getting married off? Are you disappointed Iâm not useful enough, Master?â He sneered out, his hand reaching up to the collar with his initials. âWas this⌠nothing?â
He tugged on it, but before it could give, Yeosang was across the carriage and pressing his hand down, resulting in both hands covering his throat. âYou are everything, Wooyoung.â He whispered, trying to ignore the fact he was on lap now. It was not the time to get flustered. âIt is foolish to bring you because it will do nothing but rub in what I canât have. I canât spend a whole night with you, dancing and laughing and looking like we were made for each other, just for nothing to come of it. I know I didnât want any marriage talks, but I fear it will break me if I spend this whole night with you and no one thinks you should be the one I mate with.â He whispered, the words too heavy to speak.
Slowly he lowered Wooyoungâs hand from the collar, his eyes taking in the initials there with a longing he had tried so hard not to feel. âI love you⌠too much. And yet I canât have you the way I want and tonight is just salt in that wound. Do you get it now, Wooyoung? I li-â
Yeosangâs confession was cut off by cherry lips on his, hands on his hips to hold him still as he was being kissed. At first he was frozen, shocked and not understanding, but all it took was a gentle nip on his bottom lip for Yeosang to just melt.
Wooyoung was kissing him, and nothing else mattered.
His hands flew to his shoulders, gripping the fabric as he kissed back, letting his emotions pour out into the other. His concerns and worries and all those little instances in the box just tumbling out.
There was a moan, he couldnât tell from who it came from, but when they pulled away they were both panting just a tad. As if they needed to. Wooyoungâs vibrant red eyes met Yeosangâs gold and the latter had to stop himself from closing the distance again.
âItâs not foolish.â Wooyoung said, bringing Yeosangâs thoughts to a halt. âI donât care how many balls or classes or what I have to do, but if this is what Yeosang, then weâll do it. Iâll do it all to be with you.â He promised with such conviction that Yeosang almost believed him.
âDo you mean that? Even if my parents never agree?â He asked softly, pressing his chest against his and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, eyes flickering to his lips and then to the choker.Â
Wooyoung answered with another kiss, this one softer, less desperate, but filled with the promise of eternity. Yeosang could only melt further into him, his fears melting away as well. When he pulled away, it was just enough to press their foreheads together, breathing each other in and savoring the moment. âI love you too, Sang-ah. And I want to try, if you do. We can start with this ball. It is about new beginnings, and I canât think of a more perfect opportunity to show off our love. Donât you?â
Celebrating the new year, new beginnings, new bonds. While it was usually with newborn vampires, a love like this? Yes, it was a perfect time to flaunt it. âI-I suppose you are right. It wonât be easy.â
âHas that stopped me before?â He could feel Wooyoungâs smirk more than see it.
âN-no.â Yeosang relented, gasping as Wooyoungâs grip on his hips tightened. âWoo-â
âTo be honest, Iâm glad I can stop pretending.â He pulled away, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he stared him down. âYou have any idea how much I wanted to jump your bones when you kissed the collar? Or when you talked back to Hyunjin? And letting me dress you in this corset? I wonât be able to keep my hands off you now.â
Yeosang almost felt dizzy with the implications of his words. âWell⌠no need to pretend now. Letâs go show off⌠I guess?â He muttered shyly, only saved by the fact they were arriving.
He really really hoped the end result of tonight was a lifetime with his best friend⌠as lovers.
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
The universe must have been on your side for having your brother away while so you could strategically move your ass to the neighbourâs.
You told them that it was just for a couple of days, until you could get rid of Jeonghan but even though you meant it, you still brought a lot of your stuff over and the boys even moved you into Mingiâs room despite you reassuring them that the couch would have been perfectly fine.
âMingi, really, I could just stay on the couch, itâs gonna be for a couple of days only,â you worriedly said, trying to grab his arm as to stop him from changing his sheets, He easily slipped his arm off your grasp gently and patted your head like youâre a child, âAnd we could all go live in the jungle to avoid capitalism but thatâs inconvenient and ridiculous. Besides, what kind of a man would I be to let a guest sleep on the couch?â He smiled before he returned to his task.
âOh youâre still in delusion that youâre a man?â Wooyoung teased from the door, while Nonnie appeared on his side, wagging his tail as he stared at you with a happy look on his face. Mingi rolled his eyes and flipped his friend off. âAre you okay with this room, (y/n)? You could always take mine or Sanâs,â he offered, slightly hoping that youâd choose his room so he could stay at Seonghwaâs or Hongjoongâs room to be close considering Mingiâs room was on the first floor and Yeosangâs room that he shared with Yunho was the only other one there. âThis room is wonderful, but really, I donât feel good taking it from Mingi. I should be the one taking the air mattress,â you said, still warily watching Mingi finishing up his cleaning.
Jongho then showed up next to Wooyoung, casually leaning on the doorframe, âWell, first of all, itâs not an air mattress, itâs a foldable bed contraption thing that Seonghwa hyung got online after he downed a bottle of Merlot and heâll be rooming with me like how we did in the old place. Itâs gonna be fun freaking him out again with ghost noises at 3 am,â he grinned.
Mingi shot up hearing Jongho and he pointed a finger at him, âI swear dude if you pull a ghost prank on me Iâll sue you for emotional distress and how many times do I have to tell you that I didnât freak out, I was cold!â
Before a full blown bitch fight could happen, Hongjoong yelled out from the front door, âGuys, weâre leaving now!â âWeâll wait in the car! Bye (y/n)!â San added, followed by the sound of the door closing.
You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at Wooyoung, âYou guys are leaving?â âWell, yeah Yeosang is meeting a client right now and Seonghwa hyung went with him and he wanted to stop by IKEA to get some more of his organizing stuff so weâre going to join them since we need to buy other things as well,â he shrugged.
Hearing that you were going to be left alone made you worry and Jongho seem to notice that as he stepped forward and put a hand on your shoulder, âHey, youâre not gonna be all alone. Yunho hyung is not coming with us and we guilt-trip him to take good care of you while still giving you all the space you need, so you donât have to be scared, okay? Youâre safe here,â he reassured. You found yourself responding to his reassurance which surprised you a bit. Considering your general distrust of men, you felt odd that you almost immediately knew that Jonghoâs words were not empty. So you offered him a small smile and nod.
It didnât take long for the rest of the boys to file out and you were left alone with Nonnie in Mingiâs room, your luggage tucked in the corner as if taunting you for being in such a position. You knew running away shouldnât always be an option but what were you to do when people on the outside of your house were trying to get you out and the person inside your house was trying to get you to open up? Should there be anyone who had been in a similarly ridiculous situation, you would absolutely love to get some insight on what to do.
To distract yourself, you decided to help the boys out a bit by cleaning up the house. The place was generally clean but there were some dishes left on the sink and the trash was getting full so you took care of the things you could and it actually made you happy.
You head for the door to take out the trash, the giddiness of being helpful was making you negligent and the moment you stepped out of the house, three pairs of eyes followed your figure and seeing how you werenât paying much attention, they took this as their chance.
Just as you had your back away as you were placing the trash bag in the communal dumpster, the figures popped out from behind a car that was parked just across the house and one of them grabbed you harshly by the arm and pulled you with him, causing you stumble as you scream from panic.
âKeep it down, you brat! Itâs bad enough we found you at some random guyâs house, we canât have you drawing attention to yourself and shaming your family!â One of them hissed as he tried to put a hand on your mouth but you bit on it, making him yelp and jump away. âYou psycho stalker! Let me go!â You screamed again, trying to break free. Unfortunately, the other guy took a hold of you and although you tried to plant yourself on the ground, they overpowered you.
Seeing you struggling and hearing you screaming, Nonnie went crazy, barking loudly and scratching at the window, wanting to get out to help you but nothing was happening.
This caught Yunhoâs attention and he immediately rushed to him, thinking that there was something wrong with Nonnie. It was then that he saw that you were being dragged off.
âShit!â He exclaimed before rushing out of the door, not even bothering changing his shoes and ignoring the coarse gravel digging into his feet.
With his long legs, Yunho was able to catch up with you and without hesitation, he approached one of the people who had a hold on you.
âHey!â He called out, managing to get the guy to turn to him slightly before he delivered a punch straight to his face.
This shocked the other two men; the other person loosened his grip on you and the other was taken aback and unsure whether to attend to his friend first or to focus on you. You took this moment to get away from them and Yunho immediately tugged you to stand behind him.
The guy Yunho just punched got back on his feet and went head to head with Yunho which was ridiculous because suddenly the situation turned into a hobbit vs elf stand-off.
âDid you just punch me!?â The man yelled, getting his face too close to Yunho who didnât even budge. âDid you just try to kidnap my friend?â Yunho asked back, eyes glaring at the man with nothing short of pure hatred. You took note of how Yunho called you a friend in a way that didnât seem like he was just making a point, and the confidence he had as he stated that made your heart warm. âI was trying to help my friend get his daughter back, is it wrong for a father to want to be reunited with his daughter?â He snapped back. Yunho scoffed and smirked. âIs that so?â He then reached into his pocket and fished his phone out, waving it in front of the three men mockingly, âI think the police would love to hear your explanation especially with the CCTV footage we have of you FORCING (y/n) to go with you, grabbing her without her consent, and her telling you to stop but not doing so.â
The three men froze and you knew that they couldnât risk being booked by the police for harassment, especially since they were acting on behalf of the cult and that they didnât have any basis to infringe on your rights. âYouâre threatening to call the police on us?â The other one asked. âThreatening?â Yunho laughed, âIâm promising thatâs what I would do if you donât scram and leave us alone.â
Even though Yunho looked dead serious, the three men still hesitated because they couldnât just return to the cult and tell he others, especially your father and the elders that they had FINALLY made contact with you but they had managed to late you slip after waiting for such chance for so long.
Yunho could almost see the conflict in their eyes and he knew, they just need a small motivation. So he typed 119 and let his thumb hover over the call button, âDonât test me,â he stated and that effectively got the three men scrambling with a scowl on their face, leaving after giving you one last look that seemed like they were warning you that they would be back.
Once they rounded the corner, you managed to let out the breath that you were holding, the sound of how exasperated you were made Yunho turn around and all traces of the mug he had shown the three men were replaced with a worried expression. âAre you okay (y/n)? Did they hurt you?â He asked, voice gentle and genuine. You were touched that he cared and despite having just faced a situation that was rather scary, you found yourself not as shaken as you expected you would be. âIâm fine Yunho, thanks for coming. Are you okay? You just punched a guy andâŚâ You trailed off as you looked down at Yunhoâs right hand. It was only then did Yunho realize that his skin had turned her and there were bruises forming. The pain seeped as he stretched his digits and it made him wince, âYeah, Iâm fine. I probably shouldnât have punched him though,â Yunho chuckled which made you chuckle as well, âYeah, probably.â
Yunho was glad that you were talking to him again. Sure, he still wanted to apologize, but seeing how you were reciprocating and even showing gratitude to him for his involvement, he decided that that moment shouldnât be tainted with his guilt. Instead, he decided to start fresh with you.
âDo you think I broke my fingers or something? Because the pain is just coming in and wow, I did not realize it would be this painful,â he whistled in amusement, trying to hide how much more painful the pain on his hand were like a tough guy. You chuckled but rolled your eyes, nodding at the house, âCome on, letâs take care of that.â And with that, the two of you walked back inside, accompanied by the sound of Nonnie barking and yowling, as if complaining about how he was not included in the chaos or perhaps yapping about how he wouldâve ruined those three guys had he been let loose.
Meanwhile as you head for the door, you took a glance at your house and saw Jeonghan standing there on the porch, looking at you with a worried look in his eyes but he remained still. It would appear that he was made aware of the situation and he was about to jump in when Yunho did it first. Jeonghan was out of his mind worried when he saw what happened but he knew that he wouldnât be as effective to them as Yunho had been. Years of being put in your place by a cult would do that. Besides, he wasnât sure of how you would react. Or how he would react after the whole ordeal, to be honest. After all, he was still pissed that you just took off the moment he left for a bit and honestly, he had thought that you joined your aunt abroad or something which would really hinder his plans of reconciling with you. Never would he have guessed that youâd be with the neighbours and never would he have guessed that you could trust them that much. After all, you were programmed to not trust men who were not your father or your match.
It was one thing had it been you being trustful to the neighbours because honestly, it could have backfired on you. They could take advantage of you or they could be people your dad bribed and they could be luring you into a false security before they trap you and send you back to the cult.
But seeing how fiercely Yunho defended you, seeing how he protected you, Jeonghan realized that they had your trust for a reason. It made Jeonghan realized, that you finally got your freedom and you were exercising it well, way better than he would have. And so, even though he was still annoyed that you had decided to just be gone, Jeonghan found himself with a newfound respect not only for the neighbours who took you in and protected you, but also for you for holding yourself well despite everything.
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
You were still freaked out by the whole event.
Knowing that your father now knows where you are, it terrified you to hell and back that he might break the door one night and just kidnap you or something. It was probably a far fetched situation but you knew he was not above doing that if he got desperate enough.
Even with Chanelle and Gyuvin helping, you still felt very much unsafe. After the group text where you explained to them about your past, they came into your room at night and talked with you. It was honestly bittersweet, reminiscing about the past because contrary to peopleâs belief, your childhood was pretty much normal. Actually, your life was pretty much normal. Sure, there were the odd gatherings and rituals you had to attend since you were little, but thankfully you didnât have to attend any of the baby-making and baby-welcoming rituals until your match was even confirmed.
The night before, when Chanelle and Gyuvin asked about your past, you couldnât help but also tell them about your older brother who left you behind with all the burden of expectation.
As children, you and your brother were close, almost inseparable. But since he was years older, he was matched first and since he was a man, he had the privilege of waiting until he was settled in his job before actually going through. You remembered the day he told you he got his match, you had just came home from university, thinking about the materials you just learned and thinking about planning out your upcoming project when your brother came into your room and just sat on the floor. You could never forget the nauseated look on his face, the realization that he was truly going to be pulled into the cult after this.
Your brother had always been your pillar; he was the one who defended you when some of the cult membersâ sons teased about how they donât want you as their match, how you were too ugly to be matched with anyone, all stupid stuff. He was also the one who consoled you the moment you realized that your family was part of a cult and that you were being groomed for something that made no sense to you. So when he left you, a part of you was destroyed because the loneliness felt like a betrayal more than anything.
The constant reminder of your past was too overbearing that you needed to go out, you needed to feel the afternoon breeze because the four walls of your room started to feel suffocating.
You were almost disappointed to see that Nonnie was no longer on your porch. Of course, the boys would have moved him but you had hoped to see his squishy face even just once. You probably should have taken the chance when it was there, but you were too busy being paranoid to do it.
So you settled for a cup of iced coffee and some snacks from the convenience store at the corner.
For once, your worry melted away. Whether it was the coffee or calming sound of the breeze, you momentarily forgot that you were in hiding. For a moment, you allowed yourself to wonder if this was the kind of life you would have been able to enjoy had your parents not been such weirdos. Being in a cult is one thing, being in a cult that focuses on making a lot of babies to the point of saving South Korea from the brink of extinction was another, but promising your children to a cult that focuses on making a lot of babies to repopulate South Korea is a whole different kind of psychotic. Were they brainwashed that bad?
Head in the clouds, you werenât paying attention to your surroundings which was how Yunho managed to catch up to you from the other end of the path.
â(y/n)!â He called as he grabbed you by the elbow, surprising you to the point of almost dropping your coffee. Initially, you were just glad that your treat didnât go to waste but when you looked up and saw Yunho, your feeling was switched to annoyance and you immediately pulled away from him.
âPlease, can we talk?â He begged, his eyes desperate and somehow mirroring how Nonnie would look at you when he wanted a piece of your chicken. Honestly, had the situation been different, you would have commented on said fact, but you were simply too hurt by him to be nice.
You shook your head and stepped away from him, âI donât want to talk to you, not now,â you pointed out.
Although you insinuated that you might be open to talk sometimes later, Yunho seem to skip over that completely and stepped closer to you. Having had not much of a good experience with men, Yunhoâs taller and larger stature made you momentarily fear for your safety. It honestly reminded you of one interaction with your match. â(y/n), please, you must know that I didnât know who it was I talked to, I- I know I shouldnât have but it just slipped!â He sounded so desperate that it almost made you feel bad. Almost. After all, he wasnât the one who had to deal with living in fear of what might happen since the person you ran away from had managed to find you.
Thinking that you could shut the conversation down once and for all, you shrugged and raised your hands at him, âFine, you win, youâre absolved. Happy?â You turned to walk into your house but Yunho simply followed behind. âThatâs not what I wanted from you, (y/n), please, can you look at me?â Once again, Yunho reached to grab your hand and you felt the ghost of his touch lingering over your skin but the connection never came, only the sound of Yunho groaning.
You turned around and your stomach immediately dropped.
âAnd what the fuck do we have here?â The man asked, looking at Yunho with disinterest despite him twisting Yunhoâs arm to the point that Yunho was angled away from you.
âOppa?â You choked out, not believing your eyes.
The man turned to you and smiled, âHey angel, miss me?â
You immediately recovered and your shock was wiped into a scowl. âWhat are you doing here, Jeonghan?â You asked, deliberately using his name to let him know that he had lost his older brother privileges. Hearing you using his name, Jeonghan stood taken aback for one second, distracted enough to have Yunho pull away from his grip while wincing. âLetâs⌠Not talk here. Can we go inside?âHe asked, nodding at your house and despite your better judgment, you nodded.
Jeonghan stepped to you and put a hand on your back to guide you inside.
Yunho was watching in bewilderment, because what the fuck had just happened?
âNo, (y/n), wait, I-â
Jeonghan turned around and pointed a wooden stick in front of Yunho with a menacing glare which was ironic since Jeonghan was shorter than him, but at that moment he seemed like a giant in comparison.
âWhoah there, hands in pockets or Iâm going to cut it off with this,â He scowled and it effectively got Yunho to step back. âNow, are we gonna have a fucking problem here? Which asshole sent you anyway? I ought to-â âJeonghan, heâs not one of them,â You cut Jeonghan off before he could say something that might leak your situation to Yunho out of all people. âThatâs my neighbour, Yunho, he had no connection with dad,â you explained though nervous of what Jeonghan had initially wanted to do when he thought that Yunho was someone sent from the cult.
Jeonghan glared at Yunho before turning to you, quickly changing his expression to a gentle smile, âYou go in first, Iâm going to have a little⌠Chat with this gentleman.â Yunho felt shivers down his spine seeing how quickly he changed his expression. As much as you wanted to unleash Jeonghanâs wrath on Yunho just for fun, you had to admit that you were worried for him and it was seen from how you hesitated to go in. But Jeonghan just nodded his head to the house once again, âGo on, I wonât be long,â he said with a sugary smile that completely threw the scent off of his sinister intention should Yunho hurt you.
Afraid that Jeonghan might do something stupid, you cursed under your breath and went over to tug his sleeve. âCome on, please, heâs not worth it,â you huffed, not realizing how your words jabbed at Yunho.
Though hesitant, Jeonghan grunted and straightened up, âYou better not still out here waiting, you hear me?â Then he slung an arm around you and walked into the house, leaving Yunho dumbfounded and strangely, burning with⌠Something. But what?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
You were still freaked out by the whole event.
Knowing that your father now knows where you are, it terrified you to hell and back that he might break the door one night and just kidnap you or something. It was probably a far fetched situation but you knew he was not above doing that if he got desperate enough.
Even with Chanelle and Gyuvin helping, you still felt very much unsafe. After the group text where you explained to them about your past, they came into your room at night and talked with you. It was honestly bittersweet, reminiscing about the past because contrary to peopleâs belief, your childhood was pretty much normal. Actually, your life was pretty much normal. Sure, there were the odd gatherings and rituals you had to attend since you were little, but thankfully you didnât have to attend any of the baby-making and baby-welcoming rituals until your match was even confirmed.
The night before, when Chanelle and Gyuvin asked about your past, you couldnât help but also tell them about your older brother who left you behind with all the burden of expectation.
As children, you and your brother were close, almost inseparable. But since he was years older, he was matched first and since he was a man, he had the privilege of waiting until he was settled in his job before actually going through. You remembered the day he told you he got his match, you had just came home from university, thinking about the materials you just learned and thinking about planning out your upcoming project when your brother came into your room and just sat on the floor. You could never forget the nauseated look on his face, the realization that he was truly going to be pulled into the cult after this.
Your brother had always been your pillar; he was the one who defended you when some of the cult membersâ sons teased about how they donât want you as their match, how you were too ugly to be matched with anyone, all stupid stuff. He was also the one who consoled you the moment you realized that your family was part of a cult and that you were being groomed for something that made no sense to you. So when he left you, a part of you was destroyed because the loneliness felt like a betrayal more than anything.
The constant reminder of your past was too overbearing that you needed to go out, you needed to feel the afternoon breeze because the four walls of your room started to feel suffocating.
You were almost disappointed to see that Nonnie was no longer on your porch. Of course, the boys would have moved him but you had hoped to see his squishy face even just once. You probably should have taken the chance when it was there, but you were too busy being paranoid to do it.
So you settled for a cup of iced coffee and some snacks from the convenience store at the corner.
For once, your worry melted away. Whether it was the coffee or calming sound of the breeze, you momentarily forgot that you were in hiding. For a moment, you allowed yourself to wonder if this was the kind of life you would have been able to enjoy had your parents not been such weirdos. Being in a cult is one thing, being in a cult that focuses on making a lot of babies to the point of saving South Korea from the brink of extinction was another, but promising your children to a cult that focuses on making a lot of babies to repopulate South Korea is a whole different kind of psychotic. Were they brainwashed that bad?
Head in the clouds, you werenât paying attention to your surroundings which was how Yunho managed to catch up to you from the other end of the path.
â(y/n)!â He called as he grabbed you by the elbow, surprising you to the point of almost dropping your coffee. Initially, you were just glad that your treat didnât go to waste but when you looked up and saw Yunho, your feeling was switched to annoyance and you immediately pulled away from him.
âPlease, can we talk?â He begged, his eyes desperate and somehow mirroring how Nonnie would look at you when he wanted a piece of your chicken. Honestly, had the situation been different, you would have commented on said fact, but you were simply too hurt by him to be nice.
You shook your head and stepped away from him, âI donât want to talk to you, not now,â you pointed out.
Although you insinuated that you might be open to talk sometimes later, Yunho seem to skip over that completely and stepped closer to you. Having had not much of a good experience with men, Yunhoâs taller and larger stature made you momentarily fear for your safety. It honestly reminded you of one interaction with your match. â(y/n), please, you must know that I didnât know who it was I talked to, I- I know I shouldnât have but it just slipped!â He sounded so desperate that it almost made you feel bad. Almost. After all, he wasnât the one who had to deal with living in fear of what might happen since the person you ran away from had managed to find you.
Thinking that you could shut the conversation down once and for all, you shrugged and raised your hands at him, âFine, you win, youâre absolved. Happy?â You turned to walk into your house but Yunho simply followed behind. âThatâs not what I wanted from you, (y/n), please, can you look at me?â Once again, Yunho reached to grab your hand and you felt the ghost of his touch lingering over your skin but the connection never came, only the sound of Yunho groaning.
You turned around and your stomach immediately dropped.
âAnd what the fuck do we have here?â The man asked, looking at Yunho with disinterest despite him twisting Yunhoâs arm to the point that Yunho was angled away from you.
âOppa?â You choked out, not believing your eyes.
The man turned to you and smiled, âHey angel, miss me?â
You immediately recovered and your shock was wiped into a scowl. âWhat are you doing here, Jeonghan?â You asked, deliberately using his name to let him know that he had lost his older brother privileges. Hearing you using his name, Jeonghan stood taken aback for one second, distracted enough to have Yunho pull away from his grip while wincing. âLetâs⌠Not talk here. Can we go inside?âHe asked, nodding at your house and despite your better judgment, you nodded.
Jeonghan stepped to you and put a hand on your back to guide you inside.
Yunho was watching in bewilderment, because what the fuck had just happened?
âNo, (y/n), wait, I-â
Jeonghan turned around and pointed a wooden stick in front of Yunho with a menacing glare which was ironic since Jeonghan was shorter than him, but at that moment he seemed like a giant in comparison.
âWhoah there, hands in pockets or Iâm going to cut it off with this,â He scowled and it effectively got Yunho to step back. âNow, are we gonna have a fucking problem here? Which asshole sent you anyway? I ought to-â âJeonghan, heâs not one of them,â You cut Jeonghan off before he could say something that might leak your situation to Yunho out of all people. âThatâs my neighbour, Yunho, he had no connection with dad,â you explained though nervous of what Jeonghan had initially wanted to do when he thought that Yunho was someone sent from the cult.
Jeonghan glared at Yunho before turning to you, quickly changing his expression to a gentle smile, âYou go in first, Iâm going to have a little⌠Chat with this gentleman.â Yunho felt shivers down his spine seeing how quickly he changed his expression. As much as you wanted to unleash Jeonghanâs wrath on Yunho just for fun, you had to admit that you were worried for him and it was seen from how you hesitated to go in. But Jeonghan just nodded his head to the house once again, âGo on, I wonât be long,â he said with a sugary smile that completely threw the scent off of his sinister intention should Yunho hurt you.
Afraid that Jeonghan might do something stupid, you cursed under your breath and went over to tug his sleeve. âCome on, please, heâs not worth it,â you huffed, not realizing how your words jabbed at Yunho.
Though hesitant, Jeonghan grunted and straightened up, âYou better not still out here waiting, you hear me?â Then he slung an arm around you and walked into the house, leaving Yunho dumbfounded and strangely, burning with⌠Something. But what?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
But omg, hated gyuvin at first but he grows on yoy. Dramatic comedy effect :')
But is she gunna tell the others? đ like hey if my family finds me ill be dragged back to be bred like a pagan sacrifice in the woods so like, sorry I got yall involved but like dont let me get dragged back pls đĽşđ
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
man this reputation sux one moment y'all wanna string mjn!yh up a flagpole the next, when shit is good, y'all act like i'm about to blow up the death star đ§ââď¸
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
To think that your life was so different just a year ago was rather unbelievable.
Just last year, it would be beyond your imagination to be able to walk out of the house without your usual entourage which was just a fancy description for your parents. Now, you were out walking Nonnie with the boys. Well, most of the boys since you managed to lost Jongho somewhere. The you from the past would not have been able to walk near a guy, et alone being so close that they joked about adopting you live they adopted Nonnie.
You, Mingi, Yeosang, and Jongho walked in with Nonnie at around 9.30 pm, slightly exhausted but absolutely very satisfied especially Nonnie who was walking diagonally and had this face where he looked like he just finished off a whole pan of weed brownies. Yunho opened the door and he couldnât help but smile seeing how happy Nonnie was and when he looked to you, he didnât let the smile drop which made you slightly nervous since you had been so used to his scowl so this was quite new.
âAre you sure you donât wanna hang with us for a bit?â Mingi asked, pouting at you who was trying to hand Nonnie over to Yeosang but the big baby was clinging onto your leg while yowling like he was about to get taken away to prison. You smiled but shook your head, âItâs already late, I need to get some rest and if I stay, I might end up not leaving Nonnieâs side,â you looked down to see Nonnie between your legs, panting with his tongue out on the side like the silly animal he is. âBut thank you for asking me to come out tonight, and⌠You know, giving me a chance. It had been a long while since I felt human and you guys⌠I just canât thank you enough,â you stated, exhaling as if you had just let out the heaviest burden ever.
This caught the boysâ attention as the words you used seem particular. What did you mean by giving you a chance? âFeeling like a humanâ?? They took note of how youâre still closed off but your willingness to open up and telling them that you needed to let people in and you wanted their help, those facts combined made them think of what you could have been facing in the past. They wanted to seek answers, but the situation seem to not call for it so they only agree to let you go back.
After wrestling Nonnie away from you, courtesy of Mingi whom upon hauling Nonnie to his shoulder, smacked him on the butt once which didnât seem to make much of an effect since Nonnie only panted happily as if he wanted to get spanked, you stepped away to go back to your home.
âThank you,â Yunho suddenly said, stopping you in your tracks to turn around and look at him, âFor⌠Walking Nonnie. Hope you have a good night,â he said sheepishly and even through the dark, you swore you saw the bright red hue in his ears. You awkwardly smiled and nodded, âY-yeah, hope you have a good night too.â
For a moment, the two of you only stood there like idiots, waiting for the other to move first as if afraid of scaring the other one. Eventually, you moved first, âI⌠Iâll be going now. Bye,â you waved and Yunho waved back awkwardly as he slowly closed the door.
Even with that last awkward interaction with Yunho, you felt that you had achieved something. You were being truthful when you told the boys that you felt like human again because in the past, you barely had freedom. You were dehumanized and even then, you were not allowed to live for yourself. So as stupid as it sounds, you felt that going out for a walk with people you were able to call your friends was a huge accomplishment.
With the endorphins swimming in your head, you completely missed the figures stepping out of the shadow, rushing to you.
â(y/n)!â
A voice that you know all too well stopped you in the middle of your tracks, the same voice that caused so much fear and sorrow in your life. A voice from the past.
Someone grabbed your arm and spun you around and immediately, you were met with a pair of familiar eyes, the eyes that you once thought you could trust. The same ones that betrayed you with a smile.
Ice washed over your body and you stood frozen as the man spoke to you.
âWhat the hell were you thinking? Why are you here? We were so worried about you- do you have any idea what we went through when you left just like that!?â The man yelled, waiting for you to answer but you were so stricken by shock and fear that you couldnât even utter a single word.
The man took advantage of your silence as he began dragging you away from your house, causing your brain to panic even more and instead of retaliating, your brain was rerouted to how you were programmed; to obey and to allow guidance from those above you. It terrified you how your body immediately responded despite your brain retaliating and even screaming to push the manâs hand off of you and run back to your house. But you couldnât do it, your body refused to move, even with the threat of going back to how you were living.
Luckily, just as you were getting away, a car pulled up and the driver, including the passenger jumped off before rushing to you.
âGet your hands off her!â Hongjoong yelled as he pushed past the group of 4 men and immediately shielded you. Soon, another figure came to view and it was then that you realized that Seonghwa was also with him, one hand out to shield you while the other furiously typing on his phone.
The man huffed and put his hands on his hips, âLook, this is personal business, would you please step away from her?â Hongjoong scoffed and stepped closer to him, âYou were pulling her like sheâs a damn furniture, why donât YOU step away?â
All of a sudden, you heard a door slammed open, followed by a very familiar âWHAT THE FUCK!?â and then Mingi and Wooyoung stepped in front of you; Mingi acting as a separating wall and Wooyoung ensuring that you wouldnât be taken away by pulling you flush to him. Yunho were by the door and San was standing just a bit further away from them in case he needed to rush back into the house to call the police, grab a hose, or unleash Nonnie upon them. Though tensions were high, your body immediately relaxed since they got themselves involved and Wooyoung didnât miss the way your hands immediately grip on his shirt. He had to control himself so he would focus back onto the fact that some lunatics were trying to take you away.
Sounds were mixing together, people talking over one another with two main sides; the man wanting to take you home, and Hongjoong wanting him to shut the fuck up and leave and to not bother you. They were talking about their right to bring you back home and how they had been looking for you for so long because you were taken by a crazy relative who hid you because she was infertile and obsessed with you since you were young. They were so passionate and convincing that Mingi was starting to think that they were talking about the truth. But one look at you, how you look at them with such fear in your eyes, and he immediately got his conviction back.
âOkay, so if you were really trying to âsaveâ her, why does she look so afraid of you? Why didnât you contact her yourself?â Hongjoong pointedly ask, nodding at your cowering figure. The man exasperatedly sighed, âBecause she was brainwashed by her crazy aunt and she blocked all the paths to her! Look, no one is perfect, but (y/n)âs aunt had been eyeing her since she was little and as she grew up, her aunt became more obsessed and now she brainwashed her so we need to get her back to her family! You donât know how things really are and we didnât know how things had been going but weâre from her community, she is part of us and she grew up with us. We know what she truly is like and trust me, seeing her like this, itâs obvious that we need to help her!â
Wooyoung scoffed as he rolled his eyes, âThat doesnât even make sense and you guys are delusional if you think that weâre just going to hand her over,â he said, subconsciously pulling you closer to him. âBy the way, how did you even find her if (y/n)âs aunt blocked all paths to her?â
Another man stepped up and whispered something to the man who was basically the leader and there was a glint in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine.
âWe know her auntâs properties so we started checking them out, but what helped us most is that,â he said as he lifted his arm up and pointed behind you, straight at the boysâ house, âHe told us she lives hereâ
Your eyes followed to where he was pointing and they widened when you saw what exactly he was pointing at. He wasn't pointing at just the house, he was pointing at Yunho who stood at the door, face pale as he recognized one of the men as the guy he spoke with some time ago, the man who was asking for you. The conversation that happened back then replayed in his mind like a sick confirmation. Yunhoâs hands started to sweat and his chest tightened at the heaviness of the truth.
His eyes then fell on you and he saw you breaking into pieces right in front of him.
He wanted to say something; say sorry, defend himself, go there and fix his mistake, anything. But he didnât move, he couldnât. He only stood there, staring at you staring at him with hurt in your eyes. The eyes that he once thought so cold but now turned friendly. Well, it was friendly because now, the way you looked at him made him want to crawl under the tectonic plate and just stay there forever.
"You told him?" You whispered while your lips trembled,
In your clear mind, you realized that it wasnât like Yunho sold you off, because how could he have? But it didnât matter because you were facing the fact that this time, you were truly screwed.
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
Even after having friends for a while, you still think the concept of spending time together burdensome.
Not for you, for them.
You were absolutely aware of how socially deprived you were and it didnât help that the first person who attempted to break your introversion (social hermitness) was a through-and-through, off the record extrovert with no filter and the proclivity to make hyperbolic points. Not that you want to complain, Wooyoung was a blast and you were glad he was the one to help you first. Yeosang even told you how Wooyoung compared you to Nonnie and you would have been offended, but you saw how they treated Nonnie and honestly it was better than how ANYONE had ever treated you.
Nevertheless, you knew you still werenât close to the other boys. You may have done them a favor by looking over Nonnie while they were away, and Seonghwa did got you a thank you pizza, but it still was an ambiguous situation. Hell, you didnât even know how you managed to rope him and Hongjoong to get, what you have now agreed to call, the apology cake. Although you were super nervous, bordering on vomiting before getting in Hongjoongâs car, you had an absolute blast and you may have to thank San for kicking off the night right. After all, it had been quite awkward until San suddenly climbed into the car himself uninvited and just plopped down innocently.
Thinking that they had had enough of you what with you spending the night at their house, spending time with their dog, and spending dinner together and now dessert, you were taken aback when Seonghwa invited you in their house again after you all arrived back home.
âItâs fine! I bet Nonnie wants to see you as well!â Seonghwa coaxed, smiling as he closed the door he just opened for you. You hesitated, looking between him, your house, and their house, âI donât knowâŚâ you muttered, still hesitating. It wasnât like you didnât want to, but you just didnât want to overstep with one person. And the three knew who it was you were thinking about. Hell, even the bug perching on a leaf nearby knows who you were talking about.
San stepped up and smiled gently at you, âWe wonât push for you to spend time with us, (y/n), we respect your choice if you just want to go home and call it a day. But we do want to spend time with you, just hanging out for a bit as a bigger group. We would be thrilled to have you come by!â San assured.
Maybe it was the fact that you were having such a great time, or maybe it was San who spoke to you so gently, but you ended up agreeing with a nod and soon you found yourself inside their house.
Unsurprisingly, the first to greet you was Nonnie, who had his face pressed onto the window the moment Hongjoongâs car pulled up and he was so close to just breaking the damn thing to get to you. Amazingly, as much as Nonnie seem to want to just tackle you to the ground, the Miocene you stepped in, he actually allowed you to take off your shoes first and actually got in before he got on his hind legs and tried to lick your face.
As good as your relationship was starting to get with the big fluffer, it was still uncomfortable for you to have him licking you like that. Luckily, Mingi immediately grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back despite the whining and thrashing. You chuckled as you settled in on the couch, right next to Yeosang before Jongho sat himself next to you, beating Wooyoung with a childish stick of his tongue to vex the older guy. Just to make the situation even funnier, Nonnie broke free from Mingi, huffing once as he SEEMINGLY glared at him before trotting over to you and plopping himself defiantly by your leg.
In a short moment, everyone (except for one person who heard his hyungs coming back and instead of mingling, decided to turn around and walked back upstairs upon seeing you) gathered and a conversation broke.
âSo San hyung wasnât even invited?â Jongho asked, eyes wide in disbelief at your retelling of how San came to join you, Seonghwa and Hongjoong. âThere was an invite!â San defended himself to which Hongjoong rolled his eyes, âSelf invitation doesnât count, San, we all know that.â Hongjoongâs deadpan made everyone laughed and while you were unsure of the role of your presence earlier, you realized you were starting to relax.
âBut really, I could have been there with you guys had I been a clingy, co-dependent loser with no sense of boundaries?â Wooyoung teased which earned him a smack on the face with a cushion from San. âOkay, it wasnât like it was all planned. Hongjoong and I were going out for a drive and we saw (y/n) and we got to talking. She mentioned wanttng to repay us with food since we got her pizza the other night and I said I like cake and then Hongjoong just went âgreat, I know a good placeâ then boom, we went together,â Seonghwa explained. Yeosang blinked and spoke, âHyung, thatâs called coercion and kidnapping,â he pointed out and soon people bursted out laughing again.
Usually more people would make you uncomfortable, and frankly you did feel uncomfortable in the beginning when you had just gotten into the house. But not anymore because now, you suddenly were able to feel the warmth of being with other people. With them, you just had a feeling that they donât have an ulterior motive, that they wonât somehow trap you. You had no proof, but your feeling would usually not be wrong. After all, you had spent so many years living with people who manipulate you to get whatever they want. And frankly, the manipulation was not even the worst part.
"Had I known you guys were this fun, I would have hung out with you all sooner," you blurted out not even realizing that you had spoken your mind so freely in front of others, probably for the very first time ever.
Hearing this, Hongjoong couldn't help but smirk, "well, how were you supposed to hang out with us when you didn't even wast to open the door for us?" he teased.
Your face flushed, and because of that, the boys started to boo the eldest. You realize he was only harmlessly teasing you, something people who are close, getting close, or even friends do so you weren't feeling embarrassed or ashamed, just acknowledgement that he had a point. So your voice cut through the bickering noise as you angled yourself to face Seonghwa and Hongjoong. "I apologize for how badly and unfairly I treated you guys in the beginning. I wasn't being fair to you guys. Also I'm sorry that this apology came so late, probably should have done this to you two before."
Everyone could sense now genuine you were with your apology and they, more then anything, felt proud of you.
Seonghwa and Hongjoong smiled warmly at you and graciously accepted your self-proclaimed late apology with a nod. âWe apologize too for not considering what would be appropriate for you. I donât really want to admit this, but Iâm glad Wooyoungâs persistence won you over and now we all can hang out like this, because look at how happy Nonnie looked,â Seonghwa pointed out. True to his words, Nonnie looked up at you with his big eyes that was practically shooting hearts out as his tongue lolled to the side, panting with happiness.
"Now all I have to do is to apologize to Yunho. You know, whenever he wants to see me face-to-face,â You sheepishly said.
Hearing the name coming out of your mouth made Wooyoung scoff while crossing his arms, âTrust me when I say, (y/n), at this point, Yunho doesnât deserve your apology.â Wooyoungâs statement got him a smack on the back of his head by Mingi. You only smiled and shrugged, âWell, deserving or not, I still want to apologize to him. I⌠Donât have much experience with opening up considering how I was raised, my parents are also not like other parents so Iâm still⌠Trying to be my own person, I guess? So, Iâm really trying things out here which includes befriending you all and being open with my feelings like this and I really appreciate you all for listening, but⌠It doesnât seem like I could do the same with Yunho because I feel like he doesnât want me to cross his boundaries soâŚâ you nodded, not knowing how to end the sentence.
The boys realized that you were being genuine, that you truly felt bad for making Yunho so mad at you for whatever reason there was. After all, why should one rude interaction affect him so much? If that were the case, Yunho would have had grudges with half the planet starting from years ago. But what they focused on more was the fact that you had opened up about your past. Sure, it wasnât much, but it mustâve taken such strength out of you to actually spoke about it and they were nothing but appreciative of the fact.
Luckily, Hongjoong decided to break the tension by clapping his hands. âOkay! Since (y/n) wants a taste of our friendship, what do we say about a little drinking game?â And the boys cheered at the suggestion which made you jump slightly at how excited they all were. You leant to Yeosangâs side and whispered, âIâve never done this⌠Drinking game, should I be scared?â Yeosang chuckled and he was about to say no when he took a moment to actually think of his answer. âOf drinking? No, they will consider your pace and limit. Of San crying on you? Absolutely,â he confessed which made you conflicted on how to react. Suddenly, Wooyoung plopped himself on the floor, which made Nonnie jump up in a protective stance just in case, and grinned, âDonât worry, you have all of us here to back you up!â He patted you on he head before jumping up and rushing to the kitchen as Mingi called him for alcohol suggestion.
The word lingered in your brain.
âYou have all of us here to back you up!â
It felt so foreign and kind of unbelievable, but you had to admit that you really liked the sound of that.
i, in my head, have known one. yet with its thump thump thump, my heart said another. how is it that when i am but i, exist a dichotomy that splits? was myself not enough? was myself not complete?
