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@inesagathemaud  https://www.instagram.com/inesagathemaud/?hl=fr

[dorian-w]

Edween gave me the best idea - to look for a colocation in marseille on hinge ahah (bc i haven’t use since short after making the profile in Paris with her but i still encountered few nice ppl and that might be a way maybe mmm

[dorian-w]

Currently sleeping with breads

[dorian-w]

I m writing too much on the bread work group but bc we thought we should let kids bake weird bread shapes and i am shocked none of the ppl in the group knows pate a sel (flour+ water+ salt ) like i was playing with that always as a kid

[midi-wizard]

Gymnopédies no. 1 played at 7-11 as a loitering deterrent

[dorian-w]

[dorian-w]

I had to stop my bread and ceramic marathon to go to one of these administrative meetings that make you think about dying afterwards. I was so focused and feeling excited these last days! crashed after this meeting

after a 1h30 bus trip to reach that industrial place few steps away from the sea, a 50 yo woman received me , she looked quite severe . She had put in her office a A4 paper that she probably printed herself - just one pin on the top so the corners were sloppy and you could only guess the beginning of the text « hello, thank you, bye ⚠️ watch your manners « 

Out of everything she told me I selected these sentences « I see you re all dressed in black so you should work at Zara «  « society needs artists but you know everyone has to be mobilized 20h minimum now, that s the law »( the law ahaha) « you could do that job , how is it called in the devil wears Prada ? » »do you have all meta socials ? » »you should have a linkedin and tiktok » «let’s talk in term of incomes » « what are your competencies ? Do you use AI? « 

I just felt the most lonely ever as I waited the bus to go back home - i wrote to E and I regretted, apparently I still reach out when I feel lonely also

[dorian-w]

Few days left and I m doing ceramic face to cook new bread masks on - I m really always doing everything last minute but that s my favorite time

[dorian-w]

[dorian-w]

I don’t like how these bread masks i did look like anymore / i used a dish i made years ago with harvested clay. The others from the group love them and there s not much time left buuuut i think i ll try to bake some shapes i like better , i was thinking almost like these beauty mask sheets but with weirder shapes around … let s try i am using so much flour and it s very hot here with the oven but i am hyperactive finally

[dorian-w]

My grandma is doing witch activity in the kitchen among my bread objects - she does something with water / vapor and some kind of praying to heal the shingles lesions of my aunt

[dorian-w]

I think focusing on bread costumes helps me a lot to shift my focus from overthinking- i just need projects with deadlines

[dorian-w]

Strange enough one week ago my body got a strong reaction/ huge headache to the point of not being able to do anything for 2 days , nauseous all the time and i cried for days over deciding to let go of a non relationship, after this i went through all the range of emotions and today suddenly i feel like it s all ok, all feelings of missing or jealousy or whatever related to that person gone idk how !!! it was like speed up process it just clicked for the first time today that it s all for the best (while it has been a year trying to reach that conclusion but never really succeeding) but mmm let s see in the next days :))

[dorian-w]

I’m surprisingly feeling great tonight on the first day of my period let s see how much this last but ah !

[dorian-w]

Especially bc i still have the reflex of thinking i d love the comfort of a partner in moments of struggling is why i should not long for it and not take for granted being on my own now … i have been a hopeless romantic and thinking love would be us filling voids caused by past experiences… meanwhile it s probably true in a somewhat healthy dynamic you can help each others to go through things …filling voids is not what relationships are for i guess it s more about growing as you face also your fears/ wounds through it with someone who also wants to work on this in mutual goodwill (im waiting for my bread mask to cook in the oven and scrolling too much and trying to convince myself

[dorian-w]

I just saw her in my house at 02 am !!! Looking so pale , was like the most beautiful ghost , i opened the door for a while the time to eat a yogurt…thinking she must have been trapped inside and maybe she ll find the exit . But now i read they re nocturnal and they love eating the mosquitoes and little insects in houses <33

(Lydie Dubois hey

[dorian-w]

Just corrected last post but lol i forgot to hear is written with H and then the autocorrect went like ear/eat so “ i was sitting down on the floor of the kitchen and eating my grandmother in pain crying” and “frogs are starting to sing again, i feel lucky to eat them at night” ok

[dorian-w]

The frogs are starting to sing here and that s one my favorite sound - i feel lucky i can hear them at night and be in the garden, i was thinking about this as i listened the birds today. The day went intense on bread making and being stressed by email exchanges with the museum to the point where i almost thought i don’t even want to go , but then i realized it s especially bc i am uncomfortable that i should go … i stayed too long isolated at my grandma s place and finally i get to be a bit paid to do something creative, travel and be with some ppl that s everything i need the most rn.. but after cooling down from suddenly doing 1000 things at the same time i got a wave of sadness .. i was sitting down on the floor of the kitchen and hearing my grandmother in pain crying. I felt like i needed comfort, in these moments i am wired to search for it in the person i am in love with but i don’t remember anymore the feeling of being loved and safe with someone.. with friends yes but in another intensity. Probably if i had my friends around i wouldn’t long as much for that other type of love, at the same time i still feel like this time alone is important. As i walked out of the house to seat in my favorite garden spot , at the door of the little wooden house i thought anyway my period is starting tomorrow maybe i can put the heavy thoughts on that, hormones dropping !