unholy hedonist

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.

[doriangraywrites]

I’m broken apart, but I don’t believe in loose ends so here I am. If anyone even still pays attentions/cares about this blog, I’m sorry for being mia. I’m still trying to pick things up and remember how to fit them back together, so this indefinite hiatus thing will be extended until I can figure things out. Mainly until I can get through a day without screaming or crying or feeling like someone’s snuck up on me with a tranquilizer. But I do have a new roleplay/writing blog for my irrelevancy just to give myself a semi-fresh start, so if any partners for some strange reason want to keep our plots when I decide to really come back, or if anyone for an even stranger reason just wants to see me, message me and I’ll give you the URL. Sorry and all that xx

[doriangraywrites]

Two weeks fuck. I can't breathe. At least there's no school for the next two days. All I can do is cry and watch mcr videos and try not to scream.

[doriangraywrites]

Oh God fuck I can't breathe I'm going to throw up I thought it was getting easier and then this happens why did I have to talk about it I should have just shrugged and said I'm fine it's like that day all over again this isn't supposed to be happening why why why no I can't cry anymore I need to stop I feel like everything is spinning.

[doriangraywrites]

So um..... I just want to take a chance to thank my partners for being so understanding of my current situation and to thank everyone whose messaged me such kind things over the past week. Your words and support mean the absolute world to me right now when it feels like everything is falling apart. I just want you all to know I'm so grateful to have you all here even if I don't necessarily say it enough. I'm trying to get to the messages to reply to everyone personally but I'm just feeling so overwhelmed right now by everything so.... Yeah. I just wanted to thank you all okay.

[nomadiqfroot]

Visit Original Link

"we’ll carry on…"

[doriangraywrites]

Samii, if you're around message me? I had an idea for Cace for once I start writing again eventually....

[doriangraywrites]

Um just going to tag the partners I haven't talked to here.... Guys if you could just look at the last post on my blog that I made yesterday so you know (kind of) what's happening here. So yeah okay.

[doriangraywrites]

not Dorian: a notice to my partners

As you might have gathered from the few things I've posted this week in addition to me not being around much, I'm still struggling to come to terms with the news I learned on Tuesday. I'm not sure how long it's going to take, or if I'll ever really be fully over it. (I don't think I can be to be honest. I think I just need to learn to live with it and even that is hard.) Basically, I'm just not in a good headspace to be writing at the moment, so I'm going to be going on a bit of a semi-hiatus. I'll try and be around just to talk or whatever as much as my mental health allows, but please bear with me because like I said on Tuesday, this is a process and I'm not sure how it will go on. So over the next few weeks, replies will be slow if they even come at all. If you want to drop our plot because of this I understand. Just know that I wouldn't be like this normally but I really truly can't make myself write right now with what's happened. I don't feel comfortable posting about it here, so if you want more of an explanation come talk to me off anon. That's it, I guess. Thank you guys for your support to those of you that have messaged me; it means a lot. Thanks for bearing with me through this. You're all lovely xx Dorian

[amyruns4]

Visit Original Link

"And if you were with me tonight, I’d sing to you just one more time."

[doriangraywrites]

I don't think anything in my life has ever been harder than saying goodbye to you. I'm not sure I have any tears left to cry, so I'm going to try and smile instead. I'm so grateful for everything you've given me and for having the chance to give even a little bit back to you. You're the most special person I've ever been lucky enough to now. It's never really goodbye, because I know I'll see you again one day, and I know you're happy and safe and strong and beautiful now and while it will never be okay maybe that makes it a little more bearable. I love you so much and I always will, babygirl. Fly high, angel.

[doriangraywrites]

This still doesn't feel real it's all numb I can't breathe I feel like I'm going to throw up. How am I supposed to do this

[chinros]

Visit Original Link

If heaven’s grief brings hell’s rain

Then I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

[doriangraywrites]

So something earth shattering has just happened today. And I've just stopped crying and I feel like.... Completely numb. I don't even think I've processed it all yet. I don't want to like post anything here because it could be triggering or something. Just like, for all my partners and people I've been plotting with, please bear with me for the next few days because I don't know where or how I'll be or what's going to happen now.

[larmoyante]

The cigarettes you light one after another won’t help you forget her.

Frank Sinatra (via fassadenmensch)

[sansadaenerys]

Astrid Bergès-Frisbey à croquer… (x)

[doriangraywrites]

sami1x1 replied to your post:Not Dorian: Someone unfollowed me for my Cace...

shun the nonbeliever shuuuuun. also thank you, i’ve managed to stop crying a little

i don't need them in my life then whatever xD aww you're welcome bb. if i made you smile it was worth finding all these pictures and rambling so :)

[kaarinalouise]